`Come!\'rejoinedStryver,laughingboastfully,`thoughIdon\'tpreferanyclaimtobeingthesoulofRomance(forIhopeI,knowbetter),stillIamatenderersortoffellowthanyou.
`Youarealuckier,ifyoumeanthat.\'
`Idon\'tmeanthat.ImeanIamamanofmore——more——\'
`Saygallantry,whileyouareaboutit,\'suggestedCarton.
`Well!I\'llsaygallantry.MymeaningisthatIamaman,\'saidStryver,inflatinghimselfathisfriendashemadethepunch,`whocaresmoretobeagreeable,Whotakesmorepainstobeagreeable,whoknowsbetterhowtobeagreeable,inawoman\'ssociety,thanyoudo.\'
`Goon,\'saidSydneyCarton.
`No;butbeforeIgoon,\'saidStryver,shakinghisheadinhisbullyingway,`I\'llhavethisoutwithyou.You\'vebeenatDr.Manette\'shouseasmuchasIhave,ormorethanIhave.Why,Ihavebeenashamedofyourmorosenessthere!Yourmannershavebeenofthatsilentandsullenandhang-dogkind,that,uponmylifeandsoul,Ihavebeenashamedofyou,Sydney!\'
`Itshouldbeverybeneficialtoamaninyourpracticeatthebar,tobeashamedofanything,\'returnedSydney;`yououghttobemuchobligedtome.
`YoushallnotgetoffinthatWay,\'rejoinedStryver,shoulderingtherejoinderathim;`no,Sydney,it\'smydutytotellyou——andItellyoutoyourfacetodoyougood——thatyouareadevilishill-conditionedfellowinthatsortofsociety.Youareadisagreeablefellow.\'
Sydneydrankabumperofthepunchhehadmade,andlaughed.
`Lookatme!\'saidStryver,squaringhimself:`Ihavelessneedtomakemyselfagreeablethanyouhave,beingmoreindependentincircumstances.WhydoIdoit?\'
`Ineversawyoudoityet,\'mutteredCarton.
`Idoitbecauseit\'spolitic;Idoitonprinciple.Andlookatme!Igeton.\'
`Youdon\'tgetonwithyouraccountofyourmatrimonialintentions,\'answeredCarton,withacarelessair;`Iwishyouwouldkeeptothat.Astome——willyouneverunderstandthatIamincorrigible?\'
Heaskedthequestionwithsomeappearanceofscorn.
`Youhavenobusinesstobeincorrigible,\'washisfriend\'sanswer,deliveredinnoverysoothingtone.
`Ihavenobusinesstobe,atall,thatIknowof,\'saidSydneyCarton.`Whoisthelady?\'
`Now,don\'tletmyannouncementofthenamemakeyouuncomfortable,Sydney,\'saidMr.Stryver,preparinghimwithostentatiousfriendlinessforthedisclosurehewasabouttomake,`becauseIknowyoudon\'tmeanhalfyousay;andifyoumeantitall,itwouldbeofnoimportance.Imakethislittlepreface,because,youoncementionedtheyoungladytomeinslightingterms.
`Idid?\'
`Certainly;andinthesechambers.\'
SydneyCartonlookedathispunchandlookedathiscomplacentfriend;drankhispunchandlookedathiscomplacentfriend.
`Youmadementionoftheyoungladyasagolden-haireddoll.TheyoungladyisMissManette.Ifyouhadbeenafellowofanysensitivenessordelicacyoffeelinginthatkindofway,Sydney,Imighthavebeenalittleresentfulofyouremployingsuchadesignation;butyouarenot.Youwantthatsensealtogether;thereforeIamnomoreannoyedwhenIthinkoftheexpression,thanIshouldbeannoyedbyaman\'sopinionofapictureofmine,whohadnoeyeforpictures:orofapieceofmusicofmine,whohadnoearformusic.\'
SydneyCartondrankthepunchatagreatrate;drankitbybumpers,lookingathisfriend.
`Nowyouknowallaboutit,Syd,\'saidMr.Stryver.`Idon\'tcareaboutfortune:sheisacharmingcreature,andIhavemadeupmymindtopleasemyself:onthewhole,IthinkIcanaffordtopleasemyself.Shewillhaveinmeamanalreadyprettywelloffandarapidlyrisingman,andamanofsomedistinction:itisapieceofgoodfortuneforher,butsheisworthyofgoodfortune.Areyouastonished?\'
Carton,stilldrinkingthepunch,rejoined,`WhyshouldIbeastonished?\'
`Youapprove?\'
Carton,stilldrinkingthepunch,rejoined,`WhyshouldInotapprove?\'`Well!\'saidhisfriendStryver,`youtakeitmoreeasilythanIfanciedyouwould,andarelessmercenaryonmybehalfthanIthoughtyouwouldbe;though,tobesure,youknowwellenoughbythistimethatyourancientchumisamanofaprettystrongwill.Yes,Sydney,Ihavehadenoughofthisstyleoflife,withnootherasachangeiron\'it;Ifeelthatitisapleasantthingforamantohaveahomewhenhefeelsinclinedtogotoit(whenhedoesn\'t,hecanstayaway),andIfeelthatMissManettewilltellwellinanystation,andwillalwaysdomecredit.SoIhavemadeupmymind.Andnow,Sydney,oldboy,Iwanttosayawordtoyouaboutyourprospects.Youareinabadway,youknow;youreallyareinabadway.Youdon\'tknowthevalueofmoney,youlivehard,you\'llknockuponeofthesedays,andbeillandpoor;youreallyoughttothinkaboutanurse.
Theprosperouspatronagewithwhichhesaidit,madehimlooktwiceasbigashewas,andfourtimesasoffensive.
`Now,letmerecommendyou,\'pursuedStryver,`tolookitintheface.Ihavelookeditintheface,inmydifferentway;lookitintheface,you,inyourdifferentway.Marry.Providesomebodytotakecareofyou.Nevermindyourhavingnoenjoymentofwomen\'ssociety,norunderstandingofit,nortactforit.Findoutsomebody.Findoutsomerespectablewomanwithalittleproperty——somebodyinthelandladyway,orlodging-lettingway——andmarryher,againstarainyday.That\'sthekindofthingforyou.Nowthinkofit,Sydney.\'
`I\'llthinkofit,\'saidSydney.
CHAPTERXII
TheFellowofDelicacy
MR.STRYVERhavingmadeuphismindtothatmagnanimousbestowalofgoodfortuneontheDoctor\'sdaughter,resolvedtomakeherhappinessknowntoherbeforehelefttownfortheLongVacation.Aftersomementaldebatingofthepoint,hecametotheconclusionthatitwouldbeaswelltogetallthepreliminariesdonewith,andtheycouldthenarrangeattheirleisurewhetherheshouldgiveherhishandaweekortwobeforeMichaelmasTerm,orinthelittleChristmasvacationbetweenitandHilary.
Astothestrengthofhiscase,hehadnotadoubtaboutit,butclearlysawhiswayto\'theverdict.Arguedwiththejuryonsubstantialworldlygrounds——theonlygroundseverworthtakingintoaccount——itwasaplaincase,andhadnotaweakspotinit.Hecalledhimselffortheplaintiff,therewasnogettingoverhisevidence,thecounselforthedefendantthrewuphisbrief,andthejurydidnoteventurntoconsider.Aftertryingit,Stryver,C.J.,wassatisfiedthatnoplainercasecouldbe.
Accordingly,Mr.StryverinauguratedtheLongVacationwithaformalproposaltotakeMissManettetoVauxhallGardens;thatfailing,toRanelagh;thatunaccountablyfailingtoo,itbehovedhimtopresenthimselfinSoho,andtheredeclarehisnoblemind.
TowardsSoho,therefore,Mr.SteershoulderedhiswayfromtheTemple,whilethebloomoftheLongVacation\'sinfancywasstilluponit.AnybodywhohadseenhimprojectinghimselfintoSohowhilehewasyetonSaintDunstan\'ssideofTempleBar,burstinginhisfull-blownwayalongthepavement,tothejostlementofallweakerpeople,mighthaveseenhowsafeandstronghewas.
HiswaytakinghimpastTellson\'s,andhebothbankingatTellson\'sandknowingMr.LorryastheintimatefriendoftheManettes,itenteredMr.Stryver\'smindtoenterthebank,andrevealtoMr.LorrythebrightnessoftheSohohorizon.So,hepushedopenthedoorwiththeweakrattleinitsthroat,stumbleddownthetwosteps,gotpastthetwoancientcashiers,andshoulderedhimselfintothemustybackclosetwhereMr.Lorrysatatgreatbooksruledforfigures,withperpendicularironbarstohiswindowasifthatwereruledforfigurestoo,andeverythingunderthecloudswereasum.
`Halloa!\'saidMr.Stryver.`Howdoyoudo?Ihopeyouarewell!\'
ItwasStryver\'sgrandpeculiaritythathealwaysseemedtoobigforanyplace,orspace.HewassomuchtoobigforTellson\'s,thatoldclerksindistantcornerslookedupwithlooksofremonstrance,asthoughhesqueezedthemagainstthewall.TheHouseitself,magnificentlyreadingthepaperquiteinthefar-offperspective,lowereddispleased,asiftheStryverheadhadbeenbuttedintoitsresponsiblewaistcoat.
ThediscreetMr.Lorrysaid,inasampletoneofthevoicehewouldrecommendunderthecircumstances,`Howdoyoudo,Mr.Stryver?Howdoyoudo,sir?\'andshookhands.Therewasapeculiarityinhismannerofshakinghands,alwaystobeseeninanyclerkatTellson\'swhoshookhandswithacustomerwhentheHousepervadedtheair.Heshookinaself-abnegatingway,asonewhoshookforTellsonandCo.
`CanIdoanythingforyou,Mr.Stryver?\'askedMr.Lorry,inhisbusinesscharacter.
`Why,no,thankyou;thisisaprivatevisittoyourself,Mr.Lorry;Ihavecomeforaprivateword.\'
`Ohindeed!\'saidMr.Lorry,bendingdownhisear,whilehiseyestrayedtotheHouseafaroff.
`Iamgoing,\'saidMr.Stryver,leaninghisarmsconfidentiallyonthedesk:whereupon,althoughitwasalargedoubleone,thereappearedtobenothalfdeskenoughforhim:`Iamgoingtomakeanofferofmyselfinmarriagetoyouragreeablelittlefriend,MissManette,Mr.Lorry.\'
Ohdearme!\'criedMr.Lorry,rubbinghischin,andlookingathisvisitordubiously.
`Ohdearme,sir?\'repeatedStryver,drawingback.
`Ohdearyou,sir?Whatmayyourmeaningbe,Mr.Lorry?\'
`Mymeaning,\'answeredthemanofbusiness,`is,ofcourse,friendlyandappreciative,andthatitdoesyouthegreatestcredit,and——inshort,mymeaningiseverythingyoucoulddesire.But——really,youknow,Mr.Stryver——\'Mr.Lorrypaused,andshookhisheadathimintheoddestmanner,asifhewerecompelledagainsthiswilltoadd,internally,`youknowtherereallyissomuchtoomuchofyou!\'
`Well!\'saidStryver,slappingthedeskwithhiscontentioushand,openinghiseyeswider,andtakingalongbreath,`ifIunderstandyou,Mr.Lorry,I\'llbehanged!\'
Mr.Lorryadjustedhislittlewigatbothearsasameanstowardsthatend,andbitthefeatherofapen.
`D——nitall,sir!\'saidStryver,staringathim,`amInoteligible?\'
`Ohdearyes!Yes.Ohyes,you\'reeligible!\'saidMr.Lorry.`Ifyousayeligible,youareeligible.\'
`AmInotprosperous?\'askedStryver.
`Oh!ifyoucometoprosperous,youareprosperous,\'saidMr.Lorry.
`Andadvancing?\'
`Ifyoucometoadvancing,youknow,\'saidMr.Lorry,delightedtobeabletomakeanotheradmission,`nobodycandoubtthat.\'
`Thenwhatonearthisyourmeaning,Mr.Lorry?\'demandedStryver,perceptiblycrestfallen.
`Well!IWereyougoingtherenow?\'askedMr.Lorry.`Straight!\'saidStryver,withaplumpofhisfistonthedesk.`ThenIthinkIwouldn\'t,ifIwasyou.\'
`Why?\'saidStryver.`Now,I\'llputyouinacorner,\'forensicallyshakingaforefingerathim.`Youareamanofbusinessandboundtohaveareason.Stateyourreason.
Whywouldn\'tyougo?\'
`Because,\'saidMr.Lorry,`Iwouldn\'tgoonsuchanobjectwithouthavingsomecausetobelievethatIshouldsucceed.\'
`D——nME!\'criedStryver,`butthisbeatseverything.\'
Mr.LorryglancedatthedistantHouse,andglancedattheangryStryver.
`Here\'samanofbusiness——amanofyears——amanofexperience——inaBank,\'saidStryver;`andhavingsummedupthreeleadingreasonsforcompletesuccess,hesaysthere\'snoreasonatall!Saysitwithhisheadon!\'Mr.Stryverremarkedupontilepeculiarityasifitwouldhavebeeninfinitelylessremarkableifhehadsaiditwithhisheadoff.
`WhenIspeakofsuccess,Ispeakofsuccesswiththeyounglady;andwhenIspeakofcausesandreasonstomakesuccessprobable,Ispeakofcausesandreasonsthatwilltellassuchwiththeyounglady.Theyounglady,mygoodsir,\'saidMr.Lorry,mildlytappingtheStryverarm,`theyounglady.Theyoungladygoesbeforeall.\'
`Thenyoumeantotellme,Mr.Lorry,\'saidStryver,squaringhiselbows,`thatitisyourdeliberateopinionthattheyoungladyatpresentinquestionisamincingFool?\'
`Notexactlyso.Imeantotellyou,Mr.Stryver,\'saidMr.Lorry,reddening,`thatIwillhearnodisrespectfulwordOfthatyoungladyfromanylips;andthatifIknewanyman——whichIhopeIdonot——whosetastewassocoarse,andwhosetemperwassooverbearing,thathecouldnotrestrainhimselffromspeakingdisrespectfullyofthatyoungladyatthisdesk,notevenTellson\'sshouldpreventmygivinghimapieceofmymind.\'
ThenecessityofbeingangryinasuppressedtonehadputMr.Stryver\'sblood-vesselsintoadangerousstatewhenitwashisturntobeangry;Mr.Lorry\'sveins,methodicalastheircoursescouldusuallybe,wereinnobetterstatenowitwashisturn.
`ThatiswhatImeantotellyou,sir,\'saidMr.Lorry.`Praylettherebenomistakeaboutit.\'
Mr.Stryversuckedtileendofarulerforalittlewhileandthenstoodhittingatuneoutofhisteethwithit,which\'probablygavehimthetoothache.Hebroketheawkwardsilencebysaying:
`Thisissomethingnewtome,Mr.Lorry.YoudeliberatelyadvisemenottogouptoSohoandoffermyself——myself,StryveroftheKing\'sBenchbar?\'
`Doyouaskmeformyadvice,Mr.Stryver?\'
`Yes,Ido.\'
`Verygood.ThenIgiveit,andyouhaverepeateditcorrectly.\'
`AndallIcansayofitis,\'laughedStryverwithavexedlaugh,`thatthis——ha,ha!——beatseverythingpast,present,andtocome.\'
`Nowunderstandme,\'pursuedMr.Lorry.`Asamanofbusiness,Iamnotjustifiedinsayinganythingaboutthismatter,for,asamanofbusiness,Iknownothingofit.But,asanoldfellow,whohascarriedMissManetteinhisarms,whoisthetrustedfriendofMissManetteandofherfathertoo,andwhohasagreataffectionforthemboth,Ihavespoken.Theconfidenceisnotofmyseeking,recollect.Now,youthinkImaynotberight?\'
`NotI!\'saidStryver,whistling.`Ican\'tundertaketofindthirdpartiesincommonsense;IcanonlyfinditformyselfIsupposesenseincertainquarters;yousupposemincingbread-and-butternonsense.It\'snewtome,butyouareright,Idaresay.\'
`WhatIsuppose,Mr.Stryver,IclaimtocharacteriseformyselfAndunderstandme,sir,\'saidMr.Lorry,quicklyflushingagain,`Iwillnot——notevenatTellson\'s——haveitcharacterisedformebyanygentlemanbreathing.\'
`There!Ibegyourpardon!\'saidStryver.
`Granted.Thankyou.Well,Mr.Stryver,Iwasabouttosay——itmightbepainfultoyoutofindyourselfmistaken,itmightbepainfultoDoctorManettetohavethetaskofbeingexplicitwithyou,itmightbeverypainfultoMissManettetohavethetaskofbeingexplicitwithyou.YouknowthetermsuponwhichIhavethehonourandhappinesstostandwiththefamily.Ifyouplease,committingyouinnoway,representingyouinnoway,Iwillundertaketocorrectmyadvicebytheexerciseofalittlenewobservationandjudgmentexpresslybroughttobearuponit.Ifyoushouldthenbedissatisfiedwithit,youcanbuttestitssoundnessforyourself;if,ontheotherhand,youshouldbesatisfiedwithit,anditshouldbewhatitnowis,itmayspareallsideswhatisbestspared.Whatdoyousay?\'
`Howlongwouldyoukeepmeintown?\'
`Oh!Itisonlyaquestionofafewhours.IcouldgotoSohointheevening,andcometoyourchambersafterwards.\'
`ThenIsayyes,\'saidStryver:`Iwon\'tgouptherenow,Iamnotsohotuponitasthatcomesto;Isayyes,andIshallexpectyoutolookinto-night.Good-morning.\'
ThenMr.StryverturnedandburstoutoftheBank,causingsuchaconcussionofaironhispassagethrough,thattostandupagainstitbowingbehindthetwocounters,requiredtheutmostremainingstrengthofthetwoancientclerks.
Thosevenerableandfeeblepersonswerealwaysseenbythepublicintheactofbowing,andwerepopularlybelieved,whentheyhadbowedacustomerout,stilltokeeponbowingintheemptyofficeuntiltheybowedanothercustomerin.
Thebarristerwaskeenenoughtodivinethatthebankerwouldnothavegonesofarinhisexpressionofopiniononanylesssolidgroundthanmoralcertainty.Unpreparedashewasforthelargepillhehadtoswallow,hegotitdown.`Andnow,\'saidMr.Stryver,shakinghisforensicforefingerattheTempleingeneral,whenitwasdown,`mywayoutofthis,is,toputyouallinthewrong.\'
ItwasabitoftheartofanOldBaileytactician,inwhichhefoundgreatrelief.`Youshallnotputmeinthewrong,younglady,\'saidMr.Stryver;`I\'lldothatforyou.\'
Accordingly,whenMr.Lorrycalledthatnightaslateasteno\'clock,Mr.Stryver,amongaquantityofbooksandpaperslitteredoutforthepurpose,seemedtohavenothinglessonhismindthanthesubjectofthemorning.HeevenshowedsurprisewhenhesawMr.Lorry,andwasaltogetherinanabsentandpreoccupiedstate.
`Well!\'saidthatgood-naturedemissary,afterafullhalf-hourofbootlessattemptstobringhimroundtothequestion.`IhavebeentoSoho.\'
`ToSoho?\'repeatedMr.Stryver,coldly.`Oh,tobesure!WhatamIthinkingof!\'
`AndIhavenodoubt,\'saidMr.Lorry,`thatIwasrightintheconversationwehad.Myopinionisconfirmed,andIreiteratemyadvice.\'
`Iassureyou,\'returnedMr.Stryver,inthefriendliestway,`thatIamsorryforitonyouraccount,andsorryforitonthepoorfather\'saccount.Iknowthismustalwaysbeasoresubjectwiththefamily;letussaynomoreaboutit.\'
`Idon\'tunderstandyou,\'saidMrLorry.
`Idaresaynot,\'rejoinedStryver,noddinghisheadinasmoothingandfinalway;nomatter,nomatter.\'
`Butitdoesmatter,\'Mr.Lorryurged.
`Noitdoesn\'t;Iassureyouitdoesn\'t.Havingsupposedthattherewassensewherethereisnosense,andalaudableambitionwherethereisnotalaudableambition,Iamwelloutofmymistake,andnoharmisdone.Youngwomenhavecommittedsimilarfolliesoftenbefore,andhaverepentedtheminpovertyandobscurityoftenbefore.Inanunselfishaspect,Iamsorrythatthethingisdropped,becauseitwouldhavebeenabadthingformeinaworldlypointofview;inaselfishaspect,Iamgladthatthethinghasdropped,becauseitwouldhavebeenabadthingformeinaworldlypointofview——itishardlynecessarytosayIcouldhavegainednothingbyit.Thereisnoharmatalldone.Ihavenotproposedtotheyounglady,and,betweenourselves,Iambynomeanscertain,onreflection,thatIevershouldhavecommittedmyselftothatextent.Mr.Lorry,youcannotcontrolthemincingvanitiesandgiddinessesofempty-headedgirls;youmustnotexpecttodoit,oryouwillalwayshedisappointed.
Now,praysaynomoreaboutit.Itellyou,Iregretitonaccountofothers,butIamsatisfiedonmyownaccount.AndIamreallyverymuchobligedtoyouforallowingmetosoundyou,andforgivingmeyouradvice;youknowtheyoungladybetterthanIdo;youwereright,itneverwouldhavedone.
Mr.Lorrywassotakenaback,thathelookedquitestupidlyatMr.Stryvershoulderinghimtowardsthedoor,withanappearanceofshoweringgenerosity,forbearance,andgoodwill,onhiserringhead.\'Makethebestofit,mydearsir,\'saidStryver;`saynomoreaboutit;thankyouagainforallowingmetosoundyou;good-night!\'Mr.Lorrywasoutinthenight,beforeheknewwherehewas.Mr.Stryverwaslyingbackonhissofa,winkingathisCeiling.
CHAPTERXIII
TheFellowofNoDelicacy
IFSydneyCartonevershoneanywhere,hecertainlynevershonethehouseofDoctorManette.Hehadbeenthereoften,duringawholeyear,andhadalwaysbeenthesamemoodyandmoroseloungerthere.Whenhecaredtotalk,hetalkedwell;but,thecloudofcaringfornothing,whichovershadowedhimwithsuchafataldarkness,wasveryrarelypiercedbythelightwithinhim.
Andyethedidcaresomethingforthestreetsthatenvironedthathouse,andforthesenselessstonesthatmadetheirpavements.Manyanighthevaguelyandunhappilywanderedthere,whenwinehadbroughtnotransitorygladnesstohim;manyadrearydaybreakrevealedhissolitaryfigurelingeringthere,andstilllingeringtherewhenthefirstbeamsofthesunbroughtintostrongrelief,removedbeautiesofarchitectureinspiresofchurchesandloftybuildings,asperhapsthequiettimebroughtsomesenseofbetterthings,elseforgottenandunattainable,intohismind.Oflate,theneglectedbedintheTempleCourthadknownhimmorescantilythinever;andoftenwhenhehadthrownhimselfuponitnolongerthanafewminutes,hehadgotupagain,andhauntedthatneighbourhood.
OnadayinAugust,whenMr.Stryver(afternotifyingtohisjackalthat`hehadthoughtbetterofthatmarryingmatter\')hadcarriedhisdelicacyintoDevonshire,andwhenthesightandscentofflowersintheCitystreetshadsomewaifsofgoodnessinthemfortheworst,ofhealthforthesickliest,andofyouthfortheoldest,Sydney\'sfeetstilltrodthosestones.Frombeingirresoluteandpurposeless,hisfeetbecameanimatedbyanintention,and,intheworkingoutofthatintention,theytookhimtotheDoctor\'sdoor.
Hewasshownupstairs,andfoundLucieatherwork,alone.Shehadneverbeenquiteathereasewithhim,andreceivedhimwithsomelittleembarrassmentasheseatedhimselfnearhertable.But,lookingupathisfaceintheinterchangeofthefirstfewcommonplaces,sheobservedachangeinit.
`Ifearyouarenotwell,Mr.Carton!\'
`No.ButthelifeIlead,MissManette,isnotconducivetohealth.Whatistobeexpectedoforby,suchprofligates?\'
`Isitnot——forgiveme;Ihavebegunthequestiononmylips——apitytolivenobetterlife?\'
`Godknowsitisashame!\'
`Thenwhynotchangeit?\'
Lookinggentlyathimagain,shewassurprisedandsaddenedtoseethatthereweretearsinhiseyes.Thereweretearsinhisvoicetoo,asheanswered:
`Itistoolateforthat.IshallneverbebetterthanIam.Ishallsinklower,andbeworse.\'
Heleanedanelbowonhertable,andcoveredhiseyeswithhishand.Thetabletrembledinthesilencethatfollowed.
Shehadneverseenhintsoftened,andwasmuchdistressed.Heknewhertobeso,withoutlookingather,andsaid:
`Prayforgiveme,MissManette.IbreakdownbeforetheknowledgeofwhatIwanttosaytoyou.Willyouhearme?\'
`Ifitwilldoyouanygood,Mr.Carton,ifitwouldmakeyouhappier,itwouldmakemeveryglad!\'
`Godblessyouforyoursweetcompassion!\'
Heunshadedhisfaceafteralittlewhile,andspokesteadily.`Don\'tbeafraidtohearme.Don\'tshrinkfromanything
Isay.Iamlikeonewhodiedyoung.Allmylifemighthavebeen.\'
`No,Mr.Carton.Iamsurethatthebestpartofitmightstillbe;Iamsurethatyoumightbemuch,muchworthierofyourself.\'
`Sayofyou,MissManette,andalthoughIknowbetter——althoughinthemysteryofmyownwretchedheartIknowbetter——IshallneverforgetitI\'
Shewaspaleandtrembling.Hecametoherreliefwithafixeddespairofhimselfwhichmadetheinterviewunlikeanyotherthatcouldhavebeenholden.
`Ifithadbeenpossible,MissManette,thatyoucouldhavereturnedtheloveofthemanyouseebeforeyou——self-flungaway,wasted,drunken,poorcreatureofmisuseasyouknowhimtobe——hewouldhavebeenconsciousthisdayandhour,inspiteofhishappiness,thathewouldbringyoutomisery,bringyoutosorrowandrepentance,blightyou,disgraceyou,pullyoudownwithhim.Iknowverywellthatyoucanhavenotendernessforme;Iaskfornone;Iameventhankfulthatitcannothe.\'
`Withoutit,canInotsaveyou,Mr.Carton?CanInotrecallyou——forgivemeagain!——toabettercourse?CanIinnowayrepayyourconfidence?Iknowthisisaconfidence,\'shemodestlysaid,afteralittlehesitation,andinearnesttears,`Iknowyouwouldsaythistonooneelse.CanIturnittonogoodaccountforyourself,Mr.Carton?\'
Heshookhishead.
`Tonone.No,MissManette,tonone.Ifyouwillhearmethroughaverylittlemore,allyoucaneverdoformeisdone.Iwishyoutoknowthatyouhavebeenthelastdreamofmysoul.InmydegradationIhavenotbeensodegradedbutthatthesightofyouwithyourfather,andofthishomemadesuchahomebyyou,hasstirredoldshadowsthatIthoughthaddiedoutofme.SinceIknewyou,IhavebeentroubledbyaremorsethatIthoughtwouldneverreproachmeagain,andhaveheardwhispersfromoldvoicesimpellingmeupward,thatIthoughtweresilentforever.Ihavehadunformedideasofstrivingafresh,beginninganew,shakingoffslothandsensuality,andfightingouttheabandonedfight.Adream,alladream,thatendsinnothing,andleavesthesleeperwherehelaydown,butIwishyoutoknowthatyouinspiredit.\'
`Willnothingofitremain?OMr.Carton,thinkagain!Tryagain!\'
`No,MissManette;allthroughit,Ihaveknownmyselftobequiteundeserving.AndyetIhavehadtheweakness,andhavestilltheweakness,towishyoutoknowwithwhatasuddenmasteryyoukindledme,heapofashesthatIam,intofire——afire,however,inseparableinitsnaturefrommyself,quickeningnothing,lightingnothing,doingnoservice,idlyburningaway.\'
`Sinceitismymisfortune,Mr.Carton,tohavemoreunhappythanyouwerebeforeyouknewme——
`Don\'tsaythat,MissManette,foryouwouldhavereclaimedme,ifanythingcould.Youwillnotbethecauseofmybecomingworse.\'
`Sincethestateofyourmindthatyoudescribe,is,atallevents,attributabletosomeinfluenceofmine——thisiswhatImean,ifIcanmakeitplain——canIusenoinfluencetoserveyou?HaveInopowerforgood,withyou,atall?\'
`TheutmostgoodthatIamcapableofnow,MissManette,Ihavecomeheretorealise.Letmecarrythroughtherestofmymisdirectedlife,theremembrancethatIopenedmyhearttoyou,lastofalltheworld;andthattherewassomethingleftinmeatthistimewhichyoucoulddeploreandpity.\'
`WhichIentreatedyoutobelieve,againandagain,mostfervently,withallmyheart,wascapableofbetterthings,Mr.Carton!\'
`Entreatmetobelieveitnomore,MissManette.Ihaveprovedmyself,andIknowbetter.Idistressyou;Idrawfasttoanend.Willyouletmebelieve,whenIrecallthisday,thatthelastconfidenceofmylifewasreposedinyourpureandinnocentbreast,andthatitliestherealone,andwillbesharedbynoone?\'
`Ifthatwillbeaconsolationtoyou,yes.\'
`Notevenbythedearestoneevertobeknowntoyou?\'
`Mr.Carton,\'sheanswered,afteranagitatedpause,`thesecretisyours,notmine;andIpromisetorespectit.\'
`Thankyou.Andagain,Godblessyou.\'
Heputherhandtohislips,andmovedtowardsthedoor.`Beundernoapprehension,MissManette,ofmyeverresumingthisconversationbysomuchasapassingword.Iwillneverrefertoitagain.IfIweredead,thatcouldnotbesurerthanitishenceforth.Inthehourofmydeath,Ishallholdsacredtheonegoodremembrance——andshallthankandblessyouforit——thatmylastavowalofmyselfwasmadetoyou,andthatmyname,andfaults,andmiseriesweregentlycarriedinyourheart.Mayitotherwisebelightandhappy!\'
Hewassounlikewhathehadevershownhimselftobe,anditwassosadtothinkhowmuchhehadthrownaway,andhowmuchheeverydaykeptdownandperverted,thatLucieManetteweptmournfullyforhimashestoodlookingbackather.
`Becomforted!\'hesaid,`Iamnotworthsuchfeeling,MissManette.Anhourortwohence,andthelowcompanionsandlowhabitsthatIscornbutyieldto,willrendermelessworthsuchtearsasthose,thananywretchwhocreepsalongthestreets.BecomfortedBut,withinmyself,Ishallalwaysbe,towardsyou,whatIamnow,thoughoutwardlyIshallbewhatyouhaveheretoforeseenme.ThelastsupplicationbutoneImaketoyou,is,thatyouwillbelievethisofme.\'
`Iwill,Mr.Carton.\'
`Mylastsupplicationofall,isthis;andwithit,IwillrelieveyouofavisitorwithwhomIwellknowyouhavenothinginunison,andbetweenwhomandyouthereisanimpassablespace.Itisuselesstosayit,Iknow,butitrisesoutofmysoul.Foryou,andforanydeartoyou,Iwoulddoanything.Ifmycareerwereofthatbetterkindthattherewasanyopportunityorcapacityofsacrificeinit,Iwouldembraceanysacrificeforyouandforthosedeartoyou.Trytoholdmeinyourmind,atsomequiettimes,asardentandsincereinthisonething.Thetimewillcome,thetimewillnotbelongincoming,whennewtieswillbeformedaboutyou——tiesthatwillbindyouyetmoretenderlyandstronglytothehomeyousoadorn——thedearesttiesthatwillevergraceandgladdenyou.OMissManette,whenthelittlepictureofahappyfather\'sfacelooksupinyours,whenyouseeyourownbrightbeautyspringingupanewatyourfeet,thinknowandthenthatthereisamanwhowouldgivehislife,tokeepalifeyoulovebesideyou!\'Hesaid,`Farewell!\'saidalast`Godblessyou!\'andlefther.
CHAPTERXIV
TheHonestTradesman
TOtheeyesofMr.JeremiahCruncher,sittingonhisstoolinFleetStreetwithhisgrislyurchinbesidehim,avastnumberandvarietyofobjectsinmovementwereeverydaypresented.WhocouldsituponanythinginFleetStreetduringthebusyhoursoftheday,andnotbedazedanddeafenedbytwoimmenseprocessions,oneevertendingwestwardwiththesun,theotherevertendingeastwardfromthesun,bothevertendingtotheplainsbeyondtherangeofredandpurplewherethesungoesdown!
Withhisstrawinhismouth,Mr.Crunchersatwatchingthetwostreams,liketheheathenrusticwhohasforseveralcenturiesbeenondutywatchingonestream——savingthatJerryhadnoexpectationoftheireverrunningdry.Norwouldithavebeenanexpectationofahopefulkind,sinceBallpartofhisincomewasderivedfromthepilotageoftimidwomen(mostlyofafullhabitandpastthemiddleoflife)fromTellson\'ssideofthetidestotheoppositeore.Briefassuchcompanionshipwasineveryseparateinstance,Mr.Cruncherneverfailedtobecomesointerestedtheladyastoexpressastrongdesiretohavethehonourdrinkingherverygoodhealth.Anditwasfromthegiftstoweduponhimtowardstheexecutionofthisbenevolentpurpose,thatherecruitedhisfinances,asjustnowobserved.
Timewas,whenapoetsatuponastoolinapublicplace,andmusedinthesightofmen.Mr.Cruncher,sittingonstoolinapublicplace,butnotbeingapoet,musedaslittleaspossible,andlookedabouthim.
Itfelloutthathewasthusengagedinaseasonwhencrowdswerefew,andbelatedwomenfew,andwhenhisaffairsingeneralweresounprosperousastoawakenastrongsuspicioninhisbreastthatMrs.Crunchermusthavebeen`flopping\'insomepointedmanner,whenanunusualconcoursepouringdownFleetStreetwestward,attractedhisattention.Lookingthatway,Mr.Crunchermadeoutthatmekindoffuneralwascomingalong,andthattherewaspopularobjectiontothisfuneral,whichengendereduproar.
`YoungJerry,\'saidMr.Cruncher,turningtohisoffspring,`it\'saburyin\'.\'
`Hooroar,father!\'criedYoungJerry.
Theyounggentlemanutteredthisexultantsoundwithmysterioussignificance.Theeldergentlemantookthecrysoill,thathewatchedhisopportunity,andsmotetheyounggentlemanontheear.
`Whatd\'yemean?Whatareyouhooroaringat?Whatdoyouwanttoconweytoyourownfather,youyoungRip?Thisboyisagettingtoomanyforme!\'saidMr.Cruncher,surveyinghim.`Himandhishooroars.Don\'tletmehearnomoreofyou,oryoushallfeelsomemoreofme.D\'yehear?\'
`Iwarn\'tdoingnoharm,\'YoungJerryprotested,rubbinghischeek.
`Dropitthen,\'saidMr.Cruncher;`Iwon\'thavenoneofyournoharms.Getatopofthatthereseat,andlookatthecrowd.\'
Hissonobeyed,andthecrowdapproached;theywerebawlingandhissingroundadingyhearseanddingymourningcoach,inwhichmourningcoachtherewasonlyonemourner,dressedinthedingytrappingsthatwereconsideredessentialtothedignityoftheposition.Thepositionappearedbynomeanstopleasehim,however,withanincreasingrabblesurroundingthecoach,deridinghim,makinggrimacesathim,andincessantlygroaningandcallingout:`Yah!Spies!Tst!Yaha!Spies!\'withmanycomplimentstoonumerousandforcibletorepeat.
FuneralshadatalltimesaremarkableattractionforMr.Cruncher;healwaysprickeduphissenses,andbecameexcited,whenafuneralpassedTellson\'s.Naturally,therefore,afuneralwiththisuncommonattendanceexcitedhimgreatly,andheaskedofthefirstmanwhoranagainsthim:
`Whatisit,brother?What\'sitabout?\'
`Idon\'tknow,\'saidtheman.`Spies!Yaha!Tst!Spies!\'
Heaskedanotherman.`Whoisit?\'
`Idon\'tknow,\'returnedtheman,clappinghishandstohismouthnevertheless,andvociferatinginasurprisingheatandwiththegreatestardour,`Spies!Yaha!Tst,tst!Spi-ies!\'
Atlength,apersonbetterinformedonthemeritsofthecase,tumbledagainsthim,andfromthispersonhelearnedthatthefuneralwasthefuneralofOneRogerCly.
`WasHeaspy?\'askedMr.Cruncher.
`OldBaileyspy,\'returnedhisinformant.`YahaTst!Yah!OldBaileySpi-i-ies!\'
`Why,tobesure!\'exclaimedJerry,recallingtheTrialatwhichhehadassisted.`I\'veseenhim.Dead,ishe?\'
`Deadasmutton,\'returnedtheother,`andcan\'tbetoodead.Have`emout,thereSpies!Pull`emout,there!Spies!\'
Theideawassoacceptableintheprevalentabsenceofanyidea,thatthecrowdcaughtitupwitheagerness,and,loudlyrepeatingthesuggestiontohave`emout,andtopullemout,mobbedthetwovehiclessocloselythattheycametoastop.Onthecrowd\'sopeningthecoachdoors,theonemournerscuffledoutofhimselfandwasintheirhandsforamoment;buthewassoalert,andmadesuchgooduseofhistime,thatinanothermomenthewasscouringawayupabystreet,aftersheddinghiscloak,hat,longhatband,whitepockethandkerchief,andothersymbolicaltears.
