第30章

类别:其他 作者:E. P. Roe字数:10903更新时间:18/12/13 14:44:18
\"Youwereratherdistantthen,\"Idaremarkedwithapiquantsmile. \"ButamInow?Answermethat,\"hesaidsoeagerlythatshewasagainmentallyenragedathertell-talecolor,andshesaidhastily: \"ButwhereamItofindtheambrosiaandnectarthatyouwillexpectthisevening?\" \"Anymarketcanfurnishthecrudematerials.Itisthetouchofthehostessthattransmutesthem.\" \"Alas,\"saidIda,\"Ineverlearnedhowtocook.IfIshouldprepareyourdinner,youwouldhaveanawfulmoodto-morrow,andprobablysendforthedoctor.\" \"Iwouldneedanursemorethanadoctor.\" \"Iknowofanancientwoman——aperfectMrs.Harris,\"saidIda,gleefully. \"Wouldn\'tyoucomeandseemeifIwereveryill?\" \"Imightcallatthedoorandaskhowyouwere,\"shereplied,hesitatingly. \"Now,MissIda,theundertakerwoulddoasmuchasthat.\" \"Ourmotivesmightdifferjustalittle,\"shesaid,droppinghereyes. \"Well,\"saidtheartist,laughing,\"ifyouwillpreparethedinner,I\'llriskundertaker,ancientwoman,andall,ratherthanspendsuchanotherlongstupideveningasIdidlastnight.Iexpectedtomeetyouattheconcertgardenagain.\" \"That\'sstrange,\"shesaid. \"IshouldsayratherthatIhopedtomeetyouandyourfatherthere. WouldyouhavegoneifIhadaskedyou?\" \"Imight.\" \"I\'llsetthatdownasoneofthelostopportunitiesoflife.\" \"Whydidn\'tyoulistentothemusic?\" \"Well,Ididn\'t.IthoughtI\'dinflictmystupidityonyouforawhile,andcameasfarasyourdoorstepsbeforeIrememberedthatIhadnotbeeninvited;soyouseewhatanarrowescapeyouhad.\" InspiteofherselfIdacouldnothelpappearingdisappointedasshesaid,alittlereproachfully,\"Wouldafriendhavewaitedforaformalinvitation?\" \"Afrienddid,\"repliedVanBergregretfully;\"buthewon\'tagain.\" \"I\'mnotsosureaboutthat;mymusicmusthavefrightenedyouaway.\" \"IlisteneduntilIfearedthepolicemightthinkIhaddesignsagainstthehouse.Ididn\'tknowyouwereamusician.MissMayhew,I\'malwaysfindingoutsomethingnewaboutyou,andI\'mgoingtoaskyouthiseveningtosingagainformeaballadthemelodyofwhichremindedmeofarunningbrook.Ittookholdonmyfancyandhasbeenrunninginmyheadeversince.\" \"Oh,youwon\'tlikethat;it\'sasilly,sentimentallittlething. Idon\'twonderyoupausedandretreated.\" \"Spareme,MissIda;Ialreadyfeelthatitwasafaint-heartedretreat,inwhichIsufferedseriousloss.Ihaveaccountedformyselfsinceweparted;howdidYOUspendthetime?Ofcourseyouyawnedoveryourmorning\'sfatigue,andtookalongnap.\" \"IndeedIdidnotsleepawink.WhyshouldIbeanymoreindolentthanyourself?Ireadmostoftheafternoon,anddrummedonthepianointheevening.\" \"IknowthatIlikeyourdrumming,butamnotyetsureaboutyourauthor;buthemustbeanexceedinglyinterestingone,toholdyourattentionalonghotafternoon.\" Idacoloredinsuddenembarrassment,butsaid,afteramoment:\"I shallnotgratifyyourcuriosityanyfurther,foryouwouldlaughatmeagainifItoldyou.\" \"Now,indeed,youhavepiquedmycuriosity.\" \"Sinceyou,aman,admithavingsomuchofthisfeminineweakness,Iwhoamonlyawomanmaybepardonedforshowingjustalittle. Whatworkwasitthatsoabsorbedyouyesterdayafternoonthatyouceasedtobehumaninyourneeds?\" \"MissMayhew,youhavebeenlaughingatmeinyoursleeveeversinceyoucamethismorning.Ishalltakemyrevengeonyouatoncebyheapingcoalsoffireonyourhead,\"andheturnedtowardsheralargepicture,allofwhichwasyetinoutline,saveMr.Eltinge\'sbustandface. Idasprangdownonherkneesbeforeit,exclaiming:\"O!mydear,kindoldfriend!He\'sjustspeakingtome.Mr.VanBerg,I\'llnowmaintainyouareageniusagainstalltheworld.Youhaveputkindness,love,fatherhoodintohisface.Youhavemadeitastrongandnoble,andyettenderandgentleasthemanhimself.I neverknewitwaspossibleforaportraittoexpresssomuch,\"andtearsofstrong,gratefulfeelingfilledhereyes. Wasitsuccessinhisartorpraisefromherlipsthatgaveherlistenersuchanexquisitethrillofpleasure?Hedidnotstoptoconsider,forhewasnotinananalyticalmoodatthattime. Hewasonthecrestofthespiritualwavethatwassweepinghimheavenward,ortowardssomebeatificstateofwhichhehadnotdreamtbefore.Hisfaceglowedwithpleasureashesaid: \"Sinceitpleasesyou,it\'snomorethanjusticethatyoushouldknowthatyourvisitwasthecauseofmysuccess.Eitheryourlaughoryourkindpartingwordsbrushedthecobwebsfrommymind,andIwasabletodobetterworkinafewhoursthanImighthaveaccomplishedinweeks.\" Shetriedtolookatthepicturemoreclosely,butfast-comingtearsblindedher.Thensherose,andavertingherfacehastily,wipedhereyes,asshesaidinalowtone:\"Ican\'tunderstanditatall,andthememoryofMr.Eltinge\'skindnessalwaysovercomesme.Pleasepardonmyweakness.There,Iwon\'twasteanymoreofyourtime,\"andshereturnedtoherchair.ButherfacestillworetheuncertaintyofanAprilday. \"YouraffectionforMr.Eltinge,\"hesaidgently,\"isasbeautifulasitisnatural.Nomanifestationofitneedsanyapology,andleastofalltome,forIowetohimfarmorethanlife.ButIampainingyoubyrecallingthepast,\"hesaidregretfully,asIda\'stearsbegantogatheragain.\"Letmetrytomakeamendsbyreturningatoncetothepresentandtomywork.BeforeIgoonanyfartherwithyourportraitIwantyoutoputthisrose-budinyourhair,\" andfromahiddennookhebroughtalittlevasecontainingonlyoneexquisitebud.Idahadbarelytimetoseethatitwasincolorandsizepreciselyliketheemblemofherselfthathehadthrownaway,andforafewminutessheutterlylostherself-control.Sheburiedherfaceinherhands,andherlow,stifledsobsfilledVanBergwiththekeenestdistressandperplexity. \"MissIda,\"hesaidearnestly,\"Iwouldrathereverytearyouaresheddingwereadropofmyblood,\"buthiswordsonlymadethemflowfasterstill. Suddenlyshesprangup,andturningherbackuponhim,dashedawayhertearsalmostfiercely.\"Oh!thisisshameful!\"sheexclaimed,inlow,indignanttones.\"Mr.VanBerg,whatmustyouthinkofme?PleaseturnMr.Eltinge\'sfaceaway,forheislookingatmejustashedidwhenmyheartwasbreaking,and——and——I\'velostmyself-control,andIhadbetternotcomeheretillIcanceasebeingsoweakandfoolish.\" \"Isitweaktobegrateful?\"heasked,gently.\"Isitfoolishtoloveonesothoroughlyentitledtoyourlove?IhonoryouforyourdeepandtenderaffectionforMr.Eltinge,andeverytearyouhaveshedprovestomethatinthisperfectflowerIamnowfindingthetrueemblemofyourself.\" \"No,\"shesaid,almostpassionately,\"Ihavenorighttoit.Theotheronethatyouthrewawayistrueofme,andalwayswillbe. Thisbutmocksmewithitsperfection.IwouldbeahypocriteifIshouldputitinmyhair,andsmilecomplacentlywhileyoupaintedit.Myheartclingstotheotheremblem,andIknowImustdevelopasbestIcan,asthatwouldhavedoneafteritsdestroyerwastakenaway.No,Mr.VanBerg.Ihaveseenmyselfinthestrong,sharplightoftruth.Ifyouarewillingtobemyfriend,pleasebeanhonestone.Myfaithfuloldfriendinthecountrywouldscarcelytakemyportraitifthisperfectflowerwereintroducedwithanysuchmeaningasyouattachtoit,andIcertainlywouldbeashamedtogiveittohim.Mr.Vanberg,weMUSTletbygonesbybygones,orwenevercangeton.SeehowabsurdlyIhaveactedbothyesterdayandto-day,andallthroughrecallingthepast. Indeed,indeed,itwillneverdoformetocomehereagain,andifyoucanmakesuchamarvellouslikenessofMr.Eltingeasyouhave,Iscarcelythinktherewillbeanyneed.\" \"MysuccesswithMr.Eltinge\'sportraitistheresultofafewhappystrokesthatImightnotbeabletogiveagainifItriedayear. Believeme,MissMayhew,Inotonlywishtobeanhonestfriend,butaveryconsiderateone.Ipromisenevertourgeyoutodoanythingthatwillcauseyoupain.Icanunderstandhowthefeaturesofyourkindfriendhavetouchedthetenderestchordsofyourheart,andIrespectyourstudyfidelitytoyourconscienceinrefusingtoletmepaintthisbudinyourhair;butyoumustalsodomethejusticetobelievethatImeantnohollowcomplimentwhenIsearchedforitamongtheflorists.MustIthrowthisoneaway,too?\"heasked,withaglancethatwasveryardentforafriend;\"forsinceIobtaineditforyou,itmustreceiveitsfateatyourhandsonly.\" \"I\'llwearit,simplyasyourgift,withpleasure,\"andshefasteneditinherbreastpin,sothatitscrimsonblushrestedagainstthesnowywhitenessofherneck. Helookedherfullintheeyesandsaid,withlow,sademphasis: \"Idonotdeservesuchrespect.\"Thentheknowledgethatshewasharboringapurposewhichtroubledherconscience,butwhichshecouldnotabandon,becamethecauseofatraceofheroldrecklessnessofmanner.Sheassumedasuddengayety,asifshehadsteppedoutofshadowsintotoostrongalight,asshesaid: \"Mr.VanBerg,youmaywellhesitatetobringtheappetiteyousayhadlastnighttoourhousethisevening,andifIstayamomentlonger,youwillgetnodinneratall.Ihavenotbeenafterthecrudematerial——asyoucallit——yet,andI\'mtoldthatthereisnotamanlivingsoamiableandphilosophical,butthatapoordinnerprovokesmartyr-likeexpression,ifnothingworse;\"andwithasmileandapiquancyofmannerthatseemedpeculiarlybrilliantagainstthebackgroundofherdeepandrepressedfeeling,sheagainlefthim. Hetriedtoreturntohiswork,butfoundhimselfoncemorepossessedbythedemonofunrestandimpatience.Thespiritualwavethathadbeenliftinghimhigherandhigherwaschangingitscharacterandbecomingasmoothlyglidingcurrent.Itwassoirresistiblethatheneverthoughtofresisting.\"Whyshouldheresist?\"heaskedhimself.CircumstanceshadinterestedhiminthisrareUndinebeforeshereceivedawoman\'ssoul;circumstanceshadentangledhislifeandhersinwhathadalmostbeenanawfultragedy;andnowcircumstances,orsomethingfarbeyond,wereswiftlydevelopingbeforehiseyesaspirituallovelinessthatwasthecounterpartofheroutwardbeauty,andheassuredhimselfthatitwouldbethegreatestfollyofhislifetoloseatraceoftheexquisiteprocessthathemightbeprivilegedtosee.WhatartistorpoethasnotpicturedhimselfthefairfaceofEveasGodfirstbreathedintoherperfectclaythebreathoflife,orhasnot,inimagination,seentheclosedeyesopeninginsurpriseandintelligenceorkindlingwiththelightoflove?AndyetthechangeinIdaMayhewseemedtoVanBergfarmorewonderfulandinteresting;andtohisfancyif,insteadoflyinginthebeautyofherbreathless,statuesquepreparationforlife,Evehadbeenpossessedbyalegionofdistortingimps,shewouldhavebeenthetypeofthemaidenhefirsthadrecognized.Buthehadseentheseevilspiritsexorcised,andintheirplacewascominganoble,womanlysoul——sweet,tender,andstrong——andtheperfectformandfeaturesseemedbutatransparentmould,acrystalvaseintowhichheavenwaspouringanewanddivinelife.Whyshouldhenotlongtoescapefromthedustymatter-of-factworldandwitnessthisspiritualrepetitionofthemostbeautifulstoryofthepast?ThushisphilosophicalmindwasableoncemoretoreasonthewholematteroutclearlyandprovethathiswishtoannihilatetheinterveninghoursbeforehecoulddaretopresenthimselftoIdaMayhew,wasthemostnaturalandproperdesireimaginable.HeconcludedthatawalkthroughCentralParkmightbanishhisdisquietude,andleavetimeforacarefultoilet,sinceforsomeoccultreasontheoccasionseemedtohimtorequireunusualpreparation. HeknewhewasunfashionablyearlywhenherangMr.Mayhew\'sdoor-bell,buthehadfounditimpossibletocurbhisimpatiencetoseeinwhatnewaspectIdawouldpresentherselfthatevening. Ahundredtimeshehadqueriedhowshewouldappearinherownhome,howshewouldpresideashostess,andwhetherthetasteofthefloridandfashionablemotherwouldnotbesoapparentastoannoyhimlikeabadtoneinthepicture.yes,thatwasMrs.Mayhew\'sparlorintowhichhewasshown.Itdidnotsuggestthemaidenwhohadcometovisit,northequiet,dignifiedgentlemanMr.Mayhewwasseentobewhenatthetouchoflove\'swandadegradingvicefellawayfromhim.Buttheartistcouldfindnofaultwiththehostwhogreetedhimpromptly,andwhen,afewmomentslater,therewasabreezyrustleonthestairsandheturnedtogreethishostess,hisfaceflushedwithadmirationandpleasure.Itbecameevidentthattheworshipperofbeautywasinthepresenceofhisdivinity,andhiseveryglanceburnedincensetoherhonor.Shehadtwinedafewrose-leavesinherhair,butworenootherornamentsavetherosehehadgivenherinthemorning,whichevidentlyhadbeenkeptcarefullyfortheoccasion,foritwasunchanged,withtheexceptionthatitrevealeditsheartalittlemoreopenly,asdidIdaherself.Andyetshedidherbesttoinsurethathermannershouldbenomorecordialthanhercharacterofhostessdemanded. Butinspiteofallshecoulddo,thelightofexultationandintensejoywouldflashintohereyesandtrembleinhertonesthatevening.AmaidenwouldhavebeenblindindeedhadshenotbeenabletoreadtheriddleofVanBerg\'sardentfriendshipnow,andIdahadseenthatexpressiontoooftennottoknowitsmeaningwell.Inthemorningshehadstronglyhoped,nowshebelieved. Shenolongerwalkedbyfaithbutinfullvision,andshetrodwiththegraceofaqueenwhoknowsherpowerintherealmthatwomanlovesbest.Theglowofhereyes,herrepressedexcitement,thatvitalizedeverythingshesaidordid,mystifiedwhiletheycharmedherguest.\"Shehasbecometruetonature,\"hethought,\"andlikenatureisfullofmysteriouschanges,forwhichweknownotthecause.Atonetimeitisasharpnorthwind,againthesouthwind. Thismorningtherewasasuddenshoweroftears,andbeforeitwasoverthesunlightofsmilesflashedthroughthem.NowsheappearslikeaJunemorning,andIpraytheweatherholds.\" \"Oh,\"thoughtIda,inthewild,madgleeofherheart,\"howcanI behavemyselfandlookinnocentandunconscious,seeingwhatIdo? Heismyverygoodfriendishe?Iwishforonlyonesuchfriendintheworld.Itwouldn\'tbepropertohaveanother.Oh,butisn\'titrichtoseehowunconsciousheisofhimself!Heispassingintoanexceedinglyacuteattackofmyowncomplaint,andthepoormandoesn\'tknowwhatisthematter.Idon\'tbelieveheeverlookedatJennieBurtonashelooksatme.Ah,JennieBurton!\"Thejoyousnesssuddenlyfadedoutofherfaceandshesigheddeeply. ItseemedtoVanBergforatimethathisJunemorningmightbecomecloudedafterall,butwhilehisfacewasturnedtowardsherwiththeexpressionitnowworenosadthoughtsormisgivingscouldshadowIdaverylong. ChapterL.SweptAway. TherewasnovulgarprofusioninthedinnerwhichIdahadordered,norwereitscoursesinterminable;andasshegracefullyandquietlydirectedeverything,thethoughtwouldkeepinsinuatingitselfinVanBerg\'smind,thatthehomeoverwhichshemighteventuallypresidewouldbeanearsuburbofParadise.HeheartilysecondedIda\'spurposethatherfathershouldtakepartintheirconversation,anditwasanotherdeepsourceofhergladnessthattheonewhomshehadseensodepressedanddespairing,nowlookedasshewouldalwayswishhimtoappear.\"Oh,it\'stoogoodtolast,\"shesighed,asherheartfairlyachedwithitsexcessofjoy. AfterdinnerMr.MayhewaskedVanBergtolightacigarwithhiminhisstudy,buttheartistdeclinedandfollowedIdatotheparlor. \"Mr.VanBerg,\"shesaid,withagreatshowofsurprise,\"howisityoudon\'tsmokethisevening?ItseemedtomethatyouandCousinIkweredrawntoacertaincornerofMr.Burleigh\'spiazzawiththecertaintyofgravitationafterdinner,andthenyouwerelostintheclouds.\" \"OnthisoccasionIhavetakenmychoiceofpleasuresandhavefollowedyou.\" \"Thisisaproudmomentforme,\"shesaid,withamirthfultwinkleinhereyes.\"Ineverexpectedtorivalagentleman\'scigar,andIdon\'tthinkIeverdidbefore.\" \"Anotherproofofmyfriendship,MissIda.\" \"Yes,\"shereplieddemurely,\"anactlikethisgoesagoodwaytowardsmakingmebelieveyouaresincere.\" \"MissIda,youarealwayslaughingatme.IwishIcouldfindsomewaytogetevenwithyou,andIwilltoo.\" \"Youdomeinjustice.I,inturn,willlayanofferingonthealtaroffriendshipandwillgowithyouthiseveningtotheconcertgarden.\" \"Ithinkyouexceedingly,butwillleavetheofferingonthealtar,ifyouwillpermitme.Iwouldmuchratherremaininyourparlor.\" \"Why,Mr.VanBerg,youarebentonbeingamartyrformysakethisevening.\" \"Yes,whollybentuponit.\" \"Howamiablegentlemenareafterdinner!\"sheexclaimed.\"Butwherewasyourappetitethisevening?ClearlyourcookknowsnothingofthepreparationofambrosianorIofnectar,althoughImadethecoffeemyself.\" \"Didyou?Thataccountsforitsdivineflavor.Don\'tyourememberItooktwocups?\" \"Isawthatyourpolitenessledyoutosendmeyourcupasecondtime.Isupposeyouaccomplishedavastdealagainto-dayafteryouwereoncefinallyridofanembodimentofAprilweather?\" \"IwouldloseyourrespectaltogetherifIshouldtellyouhowI havespenttheafternoon.Youwouldthinkmeanabsurdjumbleofmoodsandtenses.Imayaswellownup,Isuppose.Ihavedonenothingbutkilltime,andtothatendItookawalkthroughCentralPark.\" \"Thishotafternoon!Mr.VanBerg,whatpossessedyou?\" \"Ademonofimpatience.ItseemedasifoldJoshuahadcommandedthesuntostandstillagain.\" \"Youmustindeedbyagenius,Mr.VanBerg,forI\'vealwaysheardthatthepeculiarlygiftedwerefullofunaccountablemoods.\" \"Iunderstandthesatireofyourexpression\'PECULIARLYgifted,\' butmyturnwillcomebeforetheeveningisover,\"andheleanedluxuriouslybackagainstthesofacushionwithalookofinfinitecontentwiththeprospectbeforehim.\"Blessme,whatisthisoverwhichIhavehalfbrokenmyback,\"heexclaimed,andhedraggedoutofitspartialconcealmentahugevolume. \"Pleaseletmetakethatoutofyourway,\"saidIda,steppinghastilyforwardwithcrimsoncheeks. \"Don\'ttroubleyourself,MissMayhew;fortuneisfavoringmeoncemore,andIamonthepointofdiscoveringthefavoriteauthoryouwouldnotmentionthismorning.Anencyclopedia,asIlive!fromAtoB,withahair-pininsertedsharplyatthewordAmsterdam. Really,MissIda,Ican\'taccountforyourabsorbinginterestinAmsterdam.\" \"Mr.VanBerg,thereisnouseintryingtohideanythingfromyou. YoufindmeouteverytimeandI\'mreallygrowingsuperstitiousaboutit.\" \"Iwishyourwordsweretrue;but,forthelifeofme,Ican\'tunderstandwhyyoushouldcraveencyclopaediasasAugustreading,norcanIseetheremotestconnectionbetweentheexquisitecolorofyourfaceandtheoldDutchcityofAmsterdam.\" \"Well,theFatesareagainstmeoncemore.WhyIleftthatbookthereIdon\'tknow,forI\'mnotusuallysocareless.Mr.VanBerg,Iscarcelyneedtoremindyouofafactthatyoudiscoveredlongago——Idon\'tknowanything.Doyounotrememberhowyoutriedtotalkwithmeoneevening?Youtouchedonalmostasmanysubjectsasthathugevolumecontains,andmyfaceremainedasvacantthroughthemallastheblankpagesinthatbookbeforetheprintedmatterbegins.\" \"Butnow,MissIda,yourfaceistomelikethisbookaftertheprintedmatterbegins,onlyIreadtherethatwhichinterestsmefarmorethananythingwhichthisbulkytomecontains,evenunderthewordAmsterdam.\" \"Youimaginefarmorethanyousee.Ithinkartistsarelikepoets,andaregiventogreatflights.Besides,youarebecomingversedinmysmalltalk.WhenyoutrieditontheeveningIreferredto,youwerejustatrifleponderous.\" \"Yes,Icannowseemyselfperforminglikealameelephant.Didyouproposetoreadthisencyclopaediaentirelythrough?\" \"Imighthaveskippedartasasubjectfartoodeepforme.\" \"Whenyoucometothatletmetaketheplaceoftheencyclopaedia. Iwillsitjustherewhereyoukeepyourbookandgiveyouaseriesoffamiliarlectures.\" \"Ineverenjoyedbeinglectured,sir!\" \"ThenI\'llteachyouaftertheSocraticmethod,andaskyouquestions.\" \"Ifearsomeofthemmightbetoopersonal.Youhavesuchamaniaforsolvingeverything.\" \"AnddidyoufearthatatsomeofthemanysittingsIshallneedthisfallImightagainbroacheverysubjectunderthesun,andsoyouwereledtoreadanencyclopaediatobeprepared?\" \"IsthatwhatyoumeanbytheSocraticmethod?Ideclineanylessonsconcerningartoranythingelseonthatplan,foryouwouldfindouteverything.\" \"Ishall,anyway.HowlongagoitseemssincewetookthatstupidwalktogetheronMr.Burleigh\'spiazza!Wearenearertogethernow,MissIda,thanwewerethen.\" \"Oh!no,indeed,\"sherepliedquickly;\"Ihadyourarmonthatoccasion.\" \"Butyouhavemysincerefriendshipandrespectnow.Ican\'ttellyouhowpleasedIwaswhenIsawhowyouhadhonoredthelittleemblematicflowerIgaveyouthismorning.Thatyouwearitto-nightasyouronlyornamentgivesmehopethatyoudovaluemyrespectandregard.\" \"IthinkIhadbetterlettherose-budansweryou,andIconfessIliketothinkhowperfectitiswhenIrememberthemeaningyougavetoit,thoughhowyoucanrespectmeatallIcannotunderstand. Still,Iamlikefather——nexttoGod\'sfavortherespectofthoseIesteemdoesmosttosustainandreassureme.But,oh!Mr.VanBerg,youcan\'tknowwhatanhonestsenseofill-desertIhave.Itissohardjusttodoright,nomatterwhattheconsequencesmaybe.\" \"ThetroublewithmeisthatIamnottryingasyouare.ButI know,withabsolutecertainty,thatthestrongestimpulseoftruefriendship,oratleastofmine,inthisinstance,istorendersomeservicetomyfriend.YouwillmakemeveryhappyifyouwilltellmesomethingIcandoforyou.\" \"Youarehelpingmeverymuchinyourmannertowardsfather,andIdothankyoufromtheverydepthsofmyheart.Innowaycouldyouhavewonfrommeadeepergratitude.And——well——yourkindnessalmosttemptsmetoaskforanotherfavor,Mr.VanBerg.\" Hesprangtohersideandtookherhand. Quicklywithdrawingit,shesaidwithalittledecisivenode:\"Youmustsitdownandsitstill,forIhavealong,tiresomestorytotell,andaveryprosaicfavortoask;\"forshehadresolved,\"heshallgoforwardnowwithhiseyesopen,andheshallneversayI wonhimbyseemingwhatIwasnot.IfIcan\'tdealrightbyJennieBurton,Iwillbyhim.\" \"Ishallfindnoserviceprosaic;see,I\'mallattention,\"andhedidlookveryeagerindeed. \"Thatencyclopaediasuggestsmystory,andImayhavetoreferincidentallytomyself.\" \"Leavethebookout;I\'lllistenforages.\" \"Ishouldbeoutofbreathbeforethat.Mr.VanBerg,I\'minearnest; Idon\'tknowanythingworthknowing.Mylifehasbeenworsethanwasted,andtheonlytwothingsIunderstandwellaredancingandflirting.NowIknowyouaredisgusted,butitsthetruth.Myold,fashionablelifeseemstomelikethetawdryscenesofasecond-ratetheatre,whereeverythingisforeffectandnothingisreal.I havehostsofacquaintances,butIhaven\'tanyfriendsexceptMr. Eltinge.\" \"AndHaroldVanBerg,\"putintheartist,promptly. \"It\'sgoodofyoutosaythataftersuchconfessions,\"shecontinued,withashyglance.\"Ihopeitwasn\'toutofpoliteness.Well,I\'vewakedupatlast.Ithinkyoufirststartledmeoutofmyinsufferablestupidityandsillinessattheconcertgarden,andI\'mverymuchobligedtoyoufortheremarkyoumadetoCousinIkonthatoccasion.\" \"Yes,Iremember,\"VanBerggroaned.\"IwakedyouupasifIweretryingtoputyourshoulderoutofjoint.Well,I\'mwakingupalso.\" \"YouhavenoideawhataperfectshamofalifeIled,\"andshetoldhimfranklyofherwastedschooldaysandofhertripabroad,forwhichshehadnopreparationofmindorcharacter.\"Abutterflymighthaveflownoverthesamegroundandcomebackjustaswise,\" shesaid.\"ButIhavesuddenlyenteredanewworldoftruthandduty,andIambewildered;Iamanxioustofitmyselfforthesocietyofsensible,cultivatedpeople,andIamdiscouragedbythetaskbeforeme.Iwenttofather\'slibraryyesterdayandwasperfectlyappalledbythenumberofbooksandsubjectsthatIknownothingabout.ThefactthatIstumbledintothatencyclopaedia,whichgaveyouthelaughagainstme,showshowhelplessIam. Indeed,I\'mlikealittlechildtryingtofinditswaythroughawildernessofknowledge.IblunderedonasfarasAmsterdam,andthereIstoppedindespair.Ididn\'tknowwhatwasbeforeme,andIwasgettingeverythingIhadbeenoverconfusedandmixedupinmymind.Andnow,Mr.VanBerg,withyourthorougheducationandwideexperienceyoucantellmewhattoreadandhowtoread.\" VanBerg\'sfacewasfairlyalivewithinterest,andhesaideagerly: \"Thefavoryouasksuggestsafargreateroneonmypart.Letmegowithyouthroughthiswildernessofknowledge.Wecantakeupcoursesofreadingtogether.\" AtthismomentMr.Mayhewentered,andtheartisthesitatedtogoonwithhisfar-reachingoffers,and,indeed,hesuddenlybegantorealize,withsomeembarrassment,howmuchtheydidinvolve. ButIdamaintainedherpresenceofmind,andsaid,simply:\"Thatwouldbeimpossible,thoughnodoubtexceedinglyhelpfultome. Here,asintheinstanceofthepictures,yourgood-natureandkindnesscarryyoufarbeyondwhatIeverdreamedofasking.I merelythoughtthatinsomeofyourmomentsofleisureyoucouldjotdownsomebooksandsubjectsthatwouldbethesameasifyouhadpointedoutsmoothandshadypaths.Yousee,inmyignorance,I\'vetriedtopushmywaythroughthewildernessstraightacrosseverything.LasteveningIpesteredmyfatherwithsomanyquestionsaboutpoliticsandthetopicsoftheday,thathethoughtIhadlostmywits.\" Mr.Mayhewleanedbackinhischairandlaughedheartily,ashementallyejaculated:\"Welldone,littlegirl!\" \"Iwillbrushupmyliteraryideas,anddothebestIcan,verygladly,\"saidVanBerg.\"Butyougreatlyunderrateyourselfandoverratemyability.Iamstillbutontheedgeofthiswildernessofknowledgemyself,andincrossingawildernessonelikescompany.\" \"Oh,Icouldneverkeepupwithyourmanlystrides,\"saidIda,withasuddentrilloflaughter.\"Havingsecuredmywish,Ishallnowrewardyouwithsomeverypoormusic,whichwillsuggestmyneedoflessonsinthatdirectionalso.\" VanBergwasnotlongindiscoveringthatshewouldneverbecomeagreatmusician,nomatterhowmanylessonsshehad.Butsheplayedwithtasteandagracefulrhythm,whichprovedthatmusicinitssimplestformsmightbecomealanguagebywhichshecouldexpressherthoughtandfeeling. \"Ida,\"saidMr.Mayhew,alittleabruptly,\"Iwishtoseeafriendattheclub.I\'llbebackbeforetheeveningisover.\" \"Pleasedon\'tstaylong,\"Idaanswered,lookingwistfullyafterhim. Thentheyfoundsomeballad-musicthattheycouldsingtogether,andVanBergexpressedgreatpleasureinfindinghowwelltheirvoicesblended. \"Youhavemodestlykeptquiteallsummer,andIamjustfindingoutthatyouplayandsing,\"hesaid.