believeyoucandowhatloverscannotdo,——makeothersfeelastheydo,——andthatiswhatIcallbeinganartist.Youwrite?Youareapoet?\"
\"Ohdear,no,\"hesaidwithasmile,halfofreliefandhalfofnaivesuperiority,\"I\'maprosewriter——onadailynewspaper.\"
Tohissurpriseshewasnotdisconcerted;ratheralookofanimationlitupherfaceasshesaidbrightly,\"Oh,then,youcanofcoursesatisfymycuriosityaboutsomething.YouknowtheroadfromSanFranciscototheCliffHouse.Exceptfortheviewofthesea-lionswhenonegetsthereit\'sstupid;mybrothersaysit\'slikealltheSanFranciscoexcursions,——adustydrivewithajulepattheendofit.Well,onedaywewerecomingbackfromadrivethere,andwhenwewerebeginningtowindalongthebrowofthatdreadfulstaringLoneMountainCemetery,IsaidIwouldgetoutandwalk,andavoidtheobtrusiveglitterofthosetombstonesrisingbeforemealltheway.Ipushedopenalittlegateandpassedin.
Onceamongthesefunerealshrubsandcoldstatuesquelilieseverythingwaschanged;Isawthestaringtombstonesnolonger,for,likethem,Iseemedtobealwaysfacingthesea.Theroadhadvanished;everythinghadvanishedbuttheendlesswasteofoceanbelowme,andthelastslopeofrockandsand.Itseemedtobethefittestplaceforacemetery,——thisendofthecrumblingearth,——
thisbeginningoftheeternalsea.There!don\'tthinkthatideamyown,orthatIthoughtofitthen.No,——Ireaditallafterwards,andthat\'swhyI\'mtellingyouthis.\"
Shecouldnothelpsmilingathisnowattentiveface,andwenton:
\"SomedaysafterwardsIgotholdofanewspaperfourorsixmonthsold,andtherewasadescriptionofallthatIthoughtIhadseenandfelt,——onlyfarmorebeautifulandtouching,asyoushallsee,forIcutitoutofthepaperandhavekeptit.Itseemedtomethatitmustbesomepersonalexperience,——asifthewriterhadfollowedsomedearfriendthere,——althoughitwaswiththeunostentationandindefinitenessoftrueanddelicatefeeling.ItimpressedmesomuchthatIwentbacktheretwiceorthrice,andalwaysseemedtomovetotherhythmofthatbeautifulfuneralmarch——andIamafraid,beingawoman,thatIwanderedaroundamongthegravesasthoughIcouldfindoutwhoitwasthathadbeensungsosweetly,andifitweremanorwoman.I\'vegotithere,\"shesaid,takingadaintyivoryporte-monnaiefromherpocketandpickingoutwithtwoslimfinger-tipsafoldedslipofnewspaper;
\"andIthoughtthatmaybeyoumightrecognizethestyleofthewriter,andperhapsknowsomethingofhishistory.ForIbelievehehasone.There!thatisonlyapartofthearticle,ofcourse,butitisthepartthatinterestedme.Justreadfromthere,\"shepointed,leaningpartlyoverhisshouldersothathersoftbreathstirredhishair,\"totheend;itisn\'tlong.\"
Inthefilmthatseemedtocomeacrosshiseyes,suddenlytheprintappearedblurredandindistinct.Butheknewthatshehadputintohishandsomethinghehadwrittenafterthedeathofhiswife;
somethingspontaneousandimpulsive,whenherlossstillfilledhisdaysandnightsandalmostunconsciouslyswayedhispen.Herememberedthathiseyeshadbeenasdimwhenhewroteit——andnow——
handedtohimbythissmiling,well-to-dowoman,hewasasshockedatfirstasifhehadsuddenlyfoundherreadinghisprivateletters.Thiswasfollowedbyasuddensenseofshamethathehadeverthuspubliclybaredhisfeelings,andthenbytheillogicalbutirresistibleconvictionthatitwasfalseandstupid.Thefewphrasesshehadpointedoutappearedascheapandhollowrhetoricamidthesurroundingsoftheirsocialtete-a-teteovertheluncheon-table.Therewassmalldangerthatthisheadywineofwoman\'spraisewouldmakehimbetrayhimself;therewasnosignofgratifiedauthorshipinhisvoiceashequietlylaiddownthepaperandsaiddryly:\"IamafraidIcan\'thelpyou.Youknowitmaybepurelyfanciful.\"
\"Idon\'tthinkso,\"saidMrs.Ashwoodthoughtfully.\"Atthesametimeitdoesn\'tstrikemeasaveryabidinggriefforthatveryreason.It\'sTOOsympathetic.Itstrikesmethatitmightbethefirstgriefofsomeonetooyoungtobeinuredtosorroworexperiencedenoughtoacceptitasthecommonlot.Butlikeallyouthfulimpressionsitisverysincereandtruewhileitlasts.I
don\'tknowwhetheronegetsanythingmorerealwhenonegetsolder.\"
Withaninsincerityhecouldnotaccountfor,henowfeltinclinedtodefendhisprevioussentiment,althoughallthewhileconsciousofacertaincharminhiscompanion\'sgracefulskepticism.Hehadinhistruthfulnessandindependencehithertoalwaysbeenquitefreefromthatfeebleadmirationofcynicismwhichattackstheintellectuallyweakandimmature,andhispresentpredilectionmayhavebeenduemoretohercharmingpersonality.Shewasnotatalllikehissisters;shehadnoneofClementina\'scoldabstraction,andnoneofEuphemia\'ssharpanddemonstrativeeffusiveness.Andinhissecretconsciousnessofherflatteringforeknowledgeofhim,withherassurancethatbeforetheyhadevermethehadunwittinglyinfluencedher,hebegantofeelmoreathisease.Hisfaircompanionalso,intheequallysecretknowledgeshehadacquiredofhishistory,feltassecureasifshehadbeenformallyintroduced.
Nobodycouldfindfaultwithherforshowingcivilitytotheostensiblesonofherhost;itwasnotnecessarythatsheshouldbeawareoftheirfamilydifferences.Therewasacharmtoointheirenforcedisolation,inwhatwastheexceptionalsolitudeofthelittlehotelthatday,andtheseclusionoftheirtablebythewindowofthedining-room,whichgaveacharmingdomesticitytotheirrepast.Fromtimetotimetheyglanceddownthelonelycanyon,losingitselfintheafternoonshadow.NeverthelessMrs.
Ashwood\'spreoccupationwithNaturedidnotprecludeahumancuriositytohearsomethingmoreofJohnMilton\'squarrelwithhisfather.Therewascertainlynothingoftheprodigalsonabouthim;
therewasnoprecociousevilknowledgeinhisfrankeyes;norecordofexcessesinhishealthy,freshcomplexion;nounwholesomeordisturbedtastesinwhatshehadseenofhisruralpreferencesandunderstandingofnaturalbeauty.Tohaveattemptedanydirectquestioningthatwouldhaverevealedhisnameandidentitywouldhaveobligedhertospeakofherselfashisfather\'sguest.Shebeganindirectly;hehadsaidhehadbeenareporter,andhewasstillachroniclerofthisstrangelife.Hehadofcourseheardofmanycasesoffamilyfeudsandestrangements?HerbrotherhadtoldherofsomedreadfulvendettashehadknownintheSouthwest,andhowwholefamilieshadbeendivided.Sinceshehadbeenhereshehadheardofoddcasesofbrothersmeetingaccidentallyafterlongandunaccountedseparations;ofhusbandssuddenlyconfrontedwithwivestheyhaddeserted;offathersencounteringdiscardedsons!
JohnMilton\'sfacebetrayednouneasyconsciousness.Ifanythingitwasbeginningtoglowwithaboyishadmirationofthegraceandintelligenceofthefairspeaker,thatwasperhapsheightenedbyanassumptionofhalfcoquettishdiscomfiture.
\"Youarelaughingatme!\"shesaidfinally.\"Butinhumanandselfishasthesestoriesmayseem,andsometimesare,Ibelievethatthesecuriousestrangementsandseparationsoftencomefromsomefatalweaknessoftemperamentthatmightbestrengthened,orsometrivialmisunderstandingthatcouldbeexplained.Itisseparationthatmakesthemseemirrevocableonlybecausetheyareinexplicable,andavaguememoryalwaysseemsmoreterriblethanadefiniteone.Factsmaybeforgivenandforgotten,butmysterieshauntonealways.Ibelievethereareweak,sensitivepeoplewhodreadtoputtheirwrongsintoshape;thosearethekindwhosulk,andwhenyouaddseparationtosulking,reconciliationbecomesimpossible.Iknewaverysingularcaseofthatkindonce.Ifyoulike,I\'lltellittoyou.Maybeyouwillbeable,someday,toweaveitintooneofyourwritings.Andit\'squitetrue.\"
ItishardlynecessarytosaythatJohnMiltonhadnotbeentouchedbyanypersonalsignificanceinhiscompanion\'sspeech,whatevershemayhaveintended;anditisequallytruethatwhethershehadpresentlyforgottenherpurpose,orhadbecomesuddenlyinterestedinherownconversation,herfacegrewmoreanimated,hermannermoreconfidential,andsomethingoftheyouthfulenthusiasmshehadshowninthemountainseemedtocomebacktoher.
\"ImightsayithappenedanywhereandcallthepeopleM.orN.,butitreallydidoccurinmyownfamily,andalthoughIwasmuchyoungeratthetimeitimpressedmeverystrongly.Mycousin,whohadbeenmyplaymate,wasanorphan,andhadbeenintrustedtothecareofmyfather,whowashisguardian.Hewasalwaysacleverboy,butsingularlysensitiveandquicktotakeoffense.Perhapsitwasbecausethelittlepropertyhisfatherhadleftmadehimpartlydependentonmyfather,andthatIwasrich,butheseemedtofeelthedisparityinourpositions.Iwastooyoungtounderstandit;Ithinkitexistedonlyinhisimagination,forI
believeweweretreatedalike.ButIrememberthathewasfullofvaguethreatsofrunningawayandgoingtosea,andthatitwaspartofhisweaktemperamenttoterrifymewithhisextravagantconfidences.Iwasalwaysfrightenedwhen,afteroneofthosescenes,hewouldpackhisvaliseorperhapsonlytieupafewthingsinahandkerchief,asintheadvertisementpicturesoftherunawayslaves,anddeclarethatwewouldneverlayeyesuponhimagain.AtfirstIneversawtheridiculousnessofallthis,——forI
oughttohavetoldyouthathewasaratherdelicateandtimidboy,andquiteunfittedforaroughlifeoranyexposure,——butothersdid,andonedayIlaughedathimandtoldhimhewasafraid.I
shallneverforgettheexpressionofhisfaceandneverforgivemyselfforit.Hewentaway,——buthereturnedthenextday!Hethreatenedoncetocommitsuicide,lefthisclothesonthebankoftheriver,andcamehomeinanothersuitofclotheshehadtakenwithhim.WhenIwassentabroadtoschoolIlostsightofhim;
whenIreturnedhewasatcollege,apparentlyunchanged.Whenhecamehomeforvacation,farfromhavingbeensubduedbycontactwithstrangers,itseemedthathisunhappysensitivenesshadbeenonlyintensifiedbytheridiculeofhisfellows.Hehadevenacquiredamostridiculoustheoryaboutthedegradingeffectsofcivilization,andwantedtogobacktoastateofbarbarism.Hesaidthewildernesswastheonlytruehomeofman.Myfather,insteadofbearingwithwhatIbelievewashisinfirmity,drylyofferedhimthemeanstotryhisexperiment.HestartedforsomeplaceinTexas,sayingwewouldneverhearfromhimagain.Amonthafterhewroteformoremoney.Myfatherrepliedratherimpatiently,Isuppose,——Ineverknewexactlywhathewrote.Thatwassomeyearsago.Hehadtoldthetruthatlast,forweneverheardfromhimagain.\"
ItistobefearedthatJohnMiltonwasfollowingtheanimatedlipsandeyesofthefairspeakerratherthanherstory.Perhapsthatwasthereasonwhyhesaid,\"Mayhenothavebeenadisappointedman?\"
\"Idon\'tunderstand,\"shesaidsimply.
\"Perhaps,\"saidJohnMiltonwithaboyishblush,\"youmayhaveunconsciouslyraisedhopesinhisheart——and\"——
\"Ishouldhardlyattempttointerestachroniclerofadventurelikeyouinsuchaverycommonplace,every-daystyleofromance,\"shesaid,withalittleimpatience,\"evenifmyvanitycompelledmetomakesuchconfidencestoastranger.No,——itwasnothingquiteasvulgarasthat.And,\"sheaddedquickly,withaplayfullyamusedsmileasshesawtheyoungfellow\'sevidentdistress,\"Ishouldhaveprobablyheardfromhimagain.Thosestoriesalwaysendinthatway.\"
\"Andyouthink?\"——saidJohnMilton.
\"Ithink,\"saidMrs.Ashwoodslowly,\"thatheactuallydidcommitsuicide——oreffacedhimselfinsomeway,justasfirmlyasI
believehemighthavebeensavedbyjudicioustreatment.Otherwiseweshouldhaveheardfromhim.You\'llsaythat\'sonlyawoman\'sreasoning——butIthinkourperceptionsareofteninstinctive,andI
knewhischaracter.\"
Stillfollowingtheplayofherdelicatefeaturesintoaromanceofhisownweaving,theimaginativeyoungreporterwhohadseensomuchfromtheheightsofRussianHillsaidearnestly,\"ThenIhaveyourpermissiontousethismaterialatanyfuturetime?\"
\"Yes,\"saidtheladysmilingly.
\"AndyouwillnotmindifIshouldtakesomelibertieswiththetext?\"
\"Imustofcourseleavesomethingtoyourartistictaste.Butyouwillletmeseeit?\"
Therewerevoicesoutsidenow,breakingthesilenceoftheveranda.
Theyhadbeensopreoccupiedasnottonoticethearrivalofahorseman.Stepscamealongthepassage;thelandlordreturned.
Mrs.Ashwoodturnedquicklytowardshim.
\"Mr.Grant,ofyourparty,ma\'am,tofetchyou.\"
Shesawanunmistakablechangeinheryoungfriend\'smobileface.
\"Iwillbereadyinamoment,\"shesaidtothelandlord.Then,turningtoJohnMilton,thearch-hypocritesaidsweetly:\"MybrothermusthaveknowninstinctivelythatIwasingoodhands,ashedidn\'tcome.ButIamsorry,forIshouldhavesolikedtointroducehimtoyou——althoughbytheway,\"withabrightsmile,\"I
don\'tthinkyouhaveyettoldmeyourname.IknowIcouldn\'thaveFORGOTTENit.\"
\"Harcourt,\"saidJohnMilton,withahalf-embarrassedlaugh.
\"Butyoumustcomeandseeme,Mr——Mr.Harcourt,\"shesaid,producingacardfromacasealreadyinherfingers,\"atmyhotel,andletmybrotherthankyouthereforyourkindnessandgallantrytoastranger.Ishallbehereafewweekslongerbeforewegosouthtolookforaplacewheremybrothercanwinter.DOcomeandseeme,althoughIcannotintroduceyoutoanythingasrealandbeautifulaswhatYOUhaveshownmeto-day.Good-by,Mr.Harcourt;
Iwon\'ttroubleyoutocomedownandboreyourselfwithmyescort\'squestionsandcongratulations.\"
Shebentherheadandallowedhersofteyestorestuponhiswithagraciousnessthatwasbeyondherspeech,pulledherveiloverhereyesagain,withaprettysuggestionthatshehadnofurtheruseforthem,andtakingherriding-skirtlightlyinherhandseemedtoglidefromtheroom.
OnherwaytoSanMateo,whereitappearedthedisorganizedpartyhadprolongedtheirvisittoacceptaninvitationtodinewithalocalmagnate,shewaspleasantlyconversationalwiththeslightlyabstractedGrant.Shewassosorrytohavegiventhemallthistroubleandanxiety!Ofcoursesheoughttohavewaitedattheforkoftheroad,butshehadneverdoubtedbutshecouldrejointhempresentlyonthemainroad.ShewasgladthatMissEuphemia\'srunawayhorsehadbeenstoppedwithoutaccident;itwouldhavebeendreadfulifanythinghadhappenedtoHER;Mr.Harcourtseemedsowrappedupinhisgirls.Itwasapitytheyneverhadason——Ah?
Indeed!Thentherewasason?So——andfatherandsonhadquarreled?Thatwassosad.Andforsometriflingcause,nodoubt?
\"Ibelievehemarriedthehousemaid,\"saidGrantgrimly.\"Becareful!——Allowme.\"
\"It\'snouse!\"saidMrs.Ashwood,flushingwithpinkimpatience,assherecoveredherseat,whichasuddenboltofhermustanghadimperiled,\"Ireallycan\'tmakeoutthetricksofthisbeast!
Thankyou,\"sheadded,withasweetsmile,\"butIthinkIcanmanagehimnow.Ican\'tseewhyhestopped.I\'llbemorecareful.
Youweresayingthesonwasmarried——surelynotthatboy!\"
\"Boy!\"echoedGrant.\"Thenyouknow?\"——
\"Imeanofcoursehemustbeaboy——theyallgrewuphere——anditwasonlyfiveorsixyearsagothattheirparentsemigrated,\"sheretortedalittleimpatiently.\"Andwhataboutthiscreature?\"
\"Yourhorse?\"
\"YouknowImeanthewomanhemarried.Ofcourseshewasolderthanhe——andcaughthim?\"
\"Ithinktherewasayearortwodifference,\"saidGrantquietly.
\"Yes,butyourgallantrykeepsyoufromtellingthetruth;whichisthatthewomen,incasesofthiskind,aremucholderandmoreexperienced.\"
\"Arethey?Well,perhapssheis,NOW.Sheisdead.\"
Mrs.Ashwoodwalkedherhorse.\"Poorthing,\"shesaid.Thenasuddenideatookpossessionofherandbroughtafilmtohereyes.
\"Howlongago?\"sheaskedinalowvoice.
\"Aboutsixorsevenmonths,Ithink.Ibelievetherewasababywhodiedtoo.\"
Shecontinuedtowalkherhorseslowly,strokingitscurvedneck.
\"Ithinkit\'sperfectlyshameful!\"shesaidsuddenly.
\"Notsobadasthat,Mrs.Ashwood,surely.Thegirlmayhavelovedhim——andhe\"——
\"YouknowperfectlywhatImean,Mr.Grant.Ispeakoftheconductofthemotherandfatherandthosetwosisters!\"
Grantslightlyelevatedhiseyebrows.\"Butyouforget,Mrs.
Ashwood.ItwasyoungHarcourtandhiswife\'sownact.Theypreferredtotaketheirownpathandkeepit.\"
\"Ithink,\"saidMrs.Ashwoodauthoritatively,\"thattheideaofleavingthosetwounfortunatechildrentosufferandstruggleonalone——outthere——onthesandhillsofSanFrancisco——wassimplydisgraceful!\"
Laterthateveningshewasunreasonablyannoyedtofindthatherbrother,Mr.JohnShipley,hadtakenadvantageoftheabsenceofGranttopaymarkedattentiontoClementina,andhadevenprevaileduponthatimperiousgoddesstoaccompanyhimafterdinneronamoonlightstrollupontheverandaandterracesofLosPajaros.
NeverthelesssheseemedtorecoverherspiritsenoughtotalkvolublyofthebeautifulsceneryshehaddiscoveredinherlateperilousabandonmentinthewildsoftheCoastRange;toaverherintentiontovisititagain;tospeakofitinaseverelypracticalwayasofferingafarbettersiteforthecottagesoftheyoungmarriedcouplesjustbeginninglifethantheoutskirtsoftownsorthebleaksandhillsofSanFrancisco;andthencebygracefuldegreesintoadissertationuponpopularfallaciesinregardtohastymarriages,andthemistakenideaofsomeparentsinnotacceptingtheinevitableandmakingthebestofit.ShestillfoundtimetoenterintoanappreciativeandexhaustivecriticismupontheliteratureandjournalisticenterpriseofthePacificCoastwiththeproprietorofthe\"Pioneer,\"andtocausethatgentlemantodeclarethatwhateverpeoplemightsayaboutrichandfashionableEasternwomen,thatMrs.Ashwood\'sheadwasaboutaslevelasitwaspretty.
Thenextmorningfoundhermorethoughtfulandsubdued,andwhenherbrothercameuponhersittingontheveranda,whilethepartywerepreparingtoreturn,shewasreadinganewspaperslipthatshehadtakenfromherporte-monnaie,withafacethatwaspartlyshadowed.
\"Whathaveyoustruckthere,Conny?\"saidherbrothergayly.\"Itlookstooseriousforarecipe.\"
\"SomethingIshouldlikeyoutoreadsometime,Jack,\"shesaid,liftingherlasheswithaslighttimidity,\"ifyouwouldtakethetrouble.Ireallywonderhowitwouldimpressyou.\"
\"Passitover,\"saidJackShipleygood-humoredly,withhiscigarbetweenhislips.\"I\'lltakeitnow.\"
Shehandedhimtheslipandturnedpartlyaway;hetookit,glancedatitsideways,turneditover,andsuddenlyhislookgrewconcentrated,andhetookthecigarfromhislips.
