第4章

类别:其他 作者:Elia W。 Peatti字数:14816更新时间:18/12/13 16:50:22
minginblackmolassesandporkgravy。 Hendersonlookedatitamoment;thenoverhisfacecamealookofutterdespair。 Hedroppedhisheadinhisarmsandbrokeintouncontrolledcrying。 \"Oh,myGod,Gillispie,\"hesobbed,\"I shalldieouthereinthiswretchedhole!I wantmymother。GreatGod,Gillispie,amIgoingtodiewithouteverseeingmymother?\" Gillispie,maddenedatthisanguish,whichhecouldinnowayalleviate,soughtcomfortbyfirstlightinghispipeandthentakinghisrevolveroutofhiship-pocketandplayingwithit。Hendersoncontinuedtoshakewithsobs,andCatherine,whohadneverbeforeinherlifeheardamancry,leanedagainstthedoorforamomenttogathercourage。 Thensheranintothehousequickly,laugh- ingasshecame。ShetookHenderson\'sarmsawayfromhisfaceandlaidhimbackonthepillow,andshestoopedoverhimandkissedhisforeheadinthemostmatter- of-factway。 \"That\'swhatyourmotherwoulddoifshewerehere,\"shecried,merrily。\"Where\'sthewater?\" Shewashedhisfaceandhandsalongtime,tilltheywerecoolandhisconvulsivesobshadceased。Thenshetookasliceofthinbreadfromherbasketandaspoonfulofamberjelly。Shebeataneggintosomemilkanddroppedalittleliquorwithinit,andservedthemtogetheronthefirstcleannapkinthathadbeeninthecabinofthethreeJohnssinceitwasbuiltAtthisthegreatfoolonthebedcriedagain,onlyquietly,tearsofweakhappi- nessrunningfromhisfeverisheyes。AndCatherinestraightenedthedisorderlycabin。 Shecameeverydayfortwoweeks,andbythattimeHenderson,veryuncertainastothestrengthofhislegs,butoncemoreaccoutredinhisnativepluck,satupinachair,forwhichshehadmadecleansoftcushions,writingalettertohismother。Thefloorwasscrubbed;thecabinhadtakentoitselfcupboardsmadeofpacking-boxes;ithadclothes-pressesandshelves;curtainsatthewindows;boxesforallsortofnecessaries,fromflourtotobacco;andacook-bookonthewall,withaninscriptionwithinwhichwasmoreappropriatethanrespectful。 Thedaythatsheannouncedthatshewouldhavenofurthercalltocomeback,Waite,whowaslookingafterthehousewhileGillispiewasafield,madealittlespeech。 \"Afterthishere,\"hesaid,\"wefourstandserfallstogether。Nowlookhere,there\'slotsofthingscanhappentoapersononthiscussedpraira,andnoonebenoneth\'wiser。Soseehere,Mis\'Ford,everynightoneofusisa-goin\'toth\'roofofthisshack。Fromtherewecanseeyourplace。 Ifanythingisth\'matter——itdon\'tsignifyhowlittleerhowbig——youhangalanternonth\'stickthatI\'llputalongsideth\'houseto-morrow。Yehcanh\'istth\'lightupwithastring,andeverymornin\'beforewegooutwe\'lllooktoo,andawhiterag\'llbringusquickaswecangitthere。Wedon\'tsaynothin\'aboutwhatweoweyeh,furthatain\'tourway,butwestickstoeachotherfromthison。” Catherine\'seyesweremoist。ShelookedatHenderson。Hisfacehadnoexpressioninitatall。Hedidnotevensaygood-bytoher,andsheturned,withthetearssud- denlydriedunderherlids,andwalkeddowntheroadinthetwilight。 Weekswentby,andthoughGillispieandWaitewereoftenatCatherine\'s,Hendersonnevercame。GillispiegaveitoutashisopinionthatHendersonwasanungratefulpuppy;butWaitesaidnothing。Thisstrangeman,whoseemedlikeamereunto- wardaccidentofnature,hadchangeddur- ingthesummer。Hisbigill-shapedbodyhadgrownmoregaunt;hisdeep-setgrayeyeshadsunkdeeper;thegentlenesswhichhaddistinguishedhimevenonthewildrangesofMontanabecamemoremarked。 LateinAugusthevolunteeredtotakeonhimselftheentirechargeofthenightwatch。 \"It\'snicertobeoutatnight,\"hesaidtoCatherine。\"Thenyoudon\'tkeeplook- ingoffatthings;youcanlookinside;\"andhestruckhisbreastwithhissplayhand。 Cattlearetimorousunderthestars。Thevastnessoftheplains,thesweepofthewindundertheunbrokenarch,frightenthem; theyaremadefortheclosecomfortsofthebarn-yard;andtheapprehensioniscon- tagious,aseveryranchmanknows。Waiterealizedtheneedofbecominggoodfriendswithhisanimals。Nightafternight,ridingupanddowninthetwilightofthestars,ordozing,rolledinhisblanket,intheshelterofaknoll,hewouldhearalowroar;itwasthecryofthealarmist。Thenfromeverydirectionthecattlewouldrisewithtremblingawkwardnessontheirknees,andanswer,givingoutsullenbellowings。Someofthemwouldbegintomovefromplacetoplace,spreadingthebaselessalarm,andthencamethetimeforaction,elseovertheplaininmerefruitlessfrenzywouldgothewholefranticband,lashedtomadnessbytheirownfears,tramplingeachother,heed- lessofanyobstacle,inpitiable,deadlyrout。 Waiteknewthepremonitorysignswell,andatthefirstwarningbellowhewasonhisfeet,alertanddetermined,hisenergynervedforastruggleinwhichhealwaysconquered。 Waitehadasecretwhichhetoldtonone,knowing,inhisunanalyticalfashion,thatitwouldnotbebelievedin。Butsoonaseverthedarkheadsofthecattlebegantoliftthemselves,hesentaresonantvoiceoutintothestillness。Thesongshesangwerehymns,andhemadethemintoasortofimperativelullaby。Waitelethislungsandsoulfillwiththebreathofthenight; hegavehimselfuptotheexaltationofmasteringthosetremblingbrutes。Mount- ing,melodious,withevenandpowerfulswinghelethisfullnotesfallontheairintheconfidenceofpower,andonebyonethereassuredcattlewouldliedownagain,lowinginsoftcontentment,andsofallasleepwithnosesstretchedoutinmuteattention,tilltheirpresencecouldhardlybeguessedexceptforthesweetaromaoftheircuds。 Onenightintheearlydusk,hesawCath- erineFordhasteningacrosstheprairiewithBillDeems。Hesentahallooouttothem,whichtheybothansweredastheyranon。 WaiteknewonwhaterrandofmercyCath- erinewasbent,andhethoughtofthechil- drenoveratthecabinalone。Thecattlewerequiet,thenightbeautiful,andhecon- cludedthatitwassafeenough,sincehewasonhispony,toridedownthereaboutmid- nightandseethatthelittleonesweresafe。 Thedarksky,prickedwithpointsofin- tensestlight,hungoverhimsobeneficentlythatinhisheartthereleapedajoywhichevenhisever-presentsorrowcouldnotdis- turb。ThissorrowWaiteopenlyadmittednotonlytohimself,buttoothers。HehadsaidtoCatherine:\"Yousee,I\'llalwayshevtoloveyeh。An\'yeh\'llnotgitcrosswithme;I\'mnotgoin\'tobeinth\'way。”AndCatherinehadtoldhim,withtearsinhereyes,thathislovecouldneverbebutacom- forttoanywoman。Andthesewords,whichthepoorfellowhadinnosensemistaken,comfortedhimalways,becamepartofhisjoyasherodethere,underthosepiercingstars,tolookafterherlittleones。Hefoundthemsleepingintheirbunks,thebabytightinKitty\'sarms,thelittleboyabovethemintheupperbunk,withhishandinthelonghairofhisbrownspaniel。Waitesoftlykissedeachofthem,soKitty,whowashalfwaking,toldhermotherafterwards,andthen,bethinkinghimthatCatherinemightnotbeabletoreturnintimefortheirbreak- fast,foundthemilkandbread,andsetitforthemonthetable。Catherinehadbeenwriting,andherunfinishedletterlayopenbesidetheink。Hetookupthepenandwrote,\"Thechilddrenwasallasleepattwelv。 \"J。W。” Hehadnotmorethangotonhisponyagainbeforeheheardanominoussoundthatmadehisheartleap。Itwasafranticdullpoundingofhoofs。Heknewinasecondwhatitmeant。Therewasastam- pedeamongthecattle。Iftheanimalshadallbeenhis,hewouldnothavelosthissenseofjudgment。Buttherealizationthathehadvoluntarilyundertakenthecareofthem,andthatthelargerpartofthembelongedtohisfriends,puthiminapassionofappre- hensionthat,asaranchman,wasalmostin- explicable。Hedidtheverythingofallothersthatnocattle-maninhisrightsenseswouldthinkofdoing。GillispieandHender- son,talkingitoverafterward,wereneverabletounderstandit。Itispossible——justbarelypossible——thatWaite,stilldrunkonhissolitarydreams,knewwhathewasdoing,andchosetobringhislittlechaptertoanendwhilethelineswerepleasant。Atanyrate,herodestraightforward,shoutingandwavinghisarmsinaninsaneendeavortoheadoffthatfranticmob。Thenoisewokethechildren,andtheypeeredfromthewindowasthepawingandbellowingherdplungedby,tramplingtheyoungsteersundertheirfeet。 Intheearlymorning,CatherineFord,spentbothinmindandbody,camewalkingslowlyhome。Inherheartwasaprayerofthanks- giving。MaryDeemslaysleepingbackinhercomfortlessshack,withherlittlesonbyherside。 \"ThewonderofGodisinit,\"saidCath- erinetoherselfasshewalkedhome。\"AlltheministersofalltheworldcouldnothavepreachedmesuchasermonasI\'vehadto-night。” Sodimhadbeenthelightandsoper- turbedhermindthatshehadnotnoticedhowtornandtrampledwastheroad。Butsuddenlyabulkinherpathwaystartledher。 Itwasthedeadandmangledbodyofasteer。 Shestoopedoverittoreadthebrandonitsflank。\"It\'soneofthethreeJohns\',\"shecriedout,lookinganxiouslyabouther。 \"Howcouldthathavehappened?\" Thedirectionwhichthecattlehadtakenwastowardherhouse,andshehastenedhomeward。AndnotaquarterofamilefromherdoorshefoundthebodyofWaitebesidethatofhispony,crushedoutofitsfamiliarformintosomethingunspeakablyshapeless。Inherexcitementshehalfdragged,halfcarriedthatmutilatedbodyhome,andthenranuphersignalofalarmonthestickthatWaitehimselfhaderectedforherconvenience。Shethoughtitwouldbealongtimebeforeanyonereachedher,butshehadhardlyhadtimetobathethedisfiguredfaceandstraightenthedisfiguredbodybeforeHendersonwaspoundingatherdoor。Outsidestoodhisponypantingfromitsterrificexertions。Hendersonhadnotseenherbeforeforsixweeks。Nowhestaredatherwithfrightenedeyes。 \"Whatisit?Whatisit?\"hecried。 \"Whathashappenedtoyou,my——mylove?\" Atleastafterward,thinkingitoverassheworkedbydayortossedinhernarrowbunkatnight,itseemedtoCatherinethatthosewerethewordshespoke。Yetshecouldneverfeelsure;nothinginhismannerafterthatjustifiedtheimpassionedanxietyofhismannerinthosefirstfewuncertainmoments; forasecondlaterhesawthebodyofhisfriendandlearnedthelittlethatCatherineknew。Theyburiedhimthenextdayinalittlehollowwheretherewasaspringandsomewildaspens。 \"Heneverlikedtheprairie,\"Catherinesaid,whensheselectedthespot。\"AndI wanthimtolieasshelteredaspossible。” Afterhehadbeenlaidatrest,andshewasback,busywithtidyingherneglectedshack,shefelltocryingsothatthechildrenwerescared。 \"There\'snoonelefttocarewhatbecomesofus,\"shetoldthem,bitterly。\"Wemightstarveouthereforallthatanyonecares。” Andallthroughthenighthertearsfell,andshetoldherselfthattheywereallforthemanwhoselastthoughtwasforherandherbabies;shetoldherselfoverandoveragainthathertearswereallforhim。Afterthistheautumnbegantohurryon,andthesnowfellcapriciously,daysofbitingcoldgivingplacetoretrospectiveglancesatsummer。 Thelastofthevegetablesweretakenoutofthegardenandburiedinthecellar;andafewtonsofcoal——dearalmostasdiamonds——werebroughtouttoprovideagainsttheseverestweather。Ordinarilybuffalochipswerethefuel。Catherinewasalarmedatthewayherwretchedlittlestoreofmoneybegantovanish。Thebabywasfretfulwithitsteething,andwasreallymorecarethanwhenshenursedit。Thedaysshortened,anditseemedtoherthatshewasforeverworkingbylamp-lightTheprairieswerebrownandforbidding,theskyoftenameregraypall。Themonotonyofthelifebegantoseemterrible。Sometimesherearsachedforasound。Foratimeinthesummersomanyhadseemedtoneedherthatshehadbeenhappyinspiteofherpovertyandherloneliness。Now,suddenly,noonewantedher。Shecouldfindnosourceofinspiration。 Shewonderedhowshewasgoingtolivethroughthewinter,andkeepherpatienceandhergood-nature。 \"You\'llloveme,\"shesaid,almostfiercely,onenighttothechildren——\"you\'lllovemamma,nomatterhowcrossandhomelyshegets,won\'tyou?\" Thecoldgrewdaybyday。Astrongwinterwassettingin。Catherinetookupherstudyofmedicineagain,andsatoverherbookstillmidnight。Itoccurredtoherthatshemightfitherselffornursingbyspring,andthatthechildrencouldbeputwithsomeone——shedidnotdaretothinkwithwhom。Butthiswastheonlysolutionshecouldfindtoherproblemofexistence。 Novembersettleddowndrearily。Fewpassedtheshack。Catherine,whohadnoonetospeakwithexceptingthechildren,continuallydevisedamusementsforthem。 Theygottolivinginaworldoffantasy,andwereneverthemselves,butalwayswildIndians,orarcticexplorers,orRobinsonCrusoes。KittyandRoderick,youngastheywere,foundanever-endingsourceofamusementintheselittlegrotesquedreamsanddramas。Thefundofmoneywasget- tingsolowthatCatherinewasobligedtoeconomizeeveninthenecessities。Ifithadnotbeenforhertwocows,shewouldhardlyhaveknownhowtofindfoodforherlittleones。Butshehadawonderfulwayofmak- ingthingswitheggsandmilk,andshekeptherlittletablealwaysinviting。ThedaybeforeThanksgivingshedeterminedthattheyshouldallhaveafrolic。 \"ByChristmas,\"shesaidtoKitty,\"thesnowmaybesobadthatIcannotgettotown。We\'llhaveourhigholdtimenow。” ThereisnodenyingthatCatherineusedslangevenintalkingtothechildren。Thelittleponyhadbeensoldlongago,andgoingtotownmeantawalkoftwelvemiles。 ButCatherinestartedoutearlyinthemorning,andwasbackbynightfall,notsoverymuchtheworse,andcarryinginherarmsbundleswhichmighthavefatiguedabronco。 Thenextmorningshewasupearly,andwasashappyandridiculouslyexcitedovertheprospectoftheday\'smerrymakingasifshehadbeenKitty。Busyasshewas,shenoticedapeculiaroppressionintheair,whichintensifiedasthedaywenton。Theskyseemedtohangbutalittlewayabovetherollingstretchoffrost-bittengrass。ButKittylaughingoverhernewdoll,Roderickstartlingthesullensilencewithhisdrum,thesmellofthechicken,slaughteredtomakeaprairieholiday,browningintheoven,droveallapprehensionsfromCath- erine\'smind。Shewasacommoncreature。 Suchverylittlethingscouldmakeherhappy。 Shesangassheworked;andwhatwiththedrummingofherboy,andthelittleexultingshrieksofherbaby,theshackwasfilledwithadeafeningandexhilaratingdin。 Itwasalittlepastnoon,whenshebecameconsciousthattherewassweepingdownonheragraysheetofsnowandice,andnottillthendidsherealizewhatthoseloweringcloudshadsignified。Foronemomentshestoodhalfparalyzed。Shethoughtofevery- thing,——ofthecattle,ofthechanceforbeingburiedinthisdrift,ofthestockofprovi- sions,ofthepowerofenduranceofthechildren。Whileshewasstillthinking,thefirstice-needlesoftheblizzardcamepepper- ingthewindows。Thecattleranbellowingtotheleesideofthehouseandcrouchedthere,andthechickensscurriedforthecoop。 Catherineseizedsuchblanketsandbitsofcarpetasshecouldfind,andcrammedthematwindowsanddoors。Thenshepiledcoalonthefire,andclothedthechildreninalltheyhadthatwaswarmest,theirout-doorgar- mentsincluded;andwiththemcloseabouther,shesatandwaited。Thewindseemedtopushsteadilyatthewallsofthehouse。 Thehowlingbecamehorrible。Shecouldseethatthechildrenwerecryingwithfright,butshecouldnothearthem。Theairwasdusky;thecold,inspiteofthefire,intol- erable。Ineverycreviceofthewretchedstructuretheiceandsnowmadetheirway。 Itcamethroughtheroof,andbeganpilingupinlittlepointedstripsunderthecrevices。 Catherineputthechildrenalltogetherinonebunk,coveredthemwithallthebed- clothesshehad,andthenstoodbeforethemdefiantly,facingthewest,fromwhencethewindwasdriving。Notsuddenly,butbysteadypressure,atlengththewindow-sashyielded,andthenextmomentthatwhirlwindwasinthehouse,——amaddeningtumultoficeandwind,leavingnoroomforresistance; akillingcold,againstwhichitwasfutiletofight。Catherinethrewthebedclothesovertheheadsofthechildren,andthenthrewherselfacrossthebunk,gaspingandchok- ingforbreath。Herbodywouldnothaveyieldedtothesufferingyet,sostronglymadeandsustainedwasit;butherdismaystifledher。Shesawinonehorrifiedmomentthefrozenformsofherbabies,nowsopinkandpleasanttothesense;andoblivioncametosaveherfromfurthermisery。 Shewasalive——justbarelyalive——whenGillispieandHendersongotthere,threehourslater,theveryballsoftheireyesalmostfrozenintoblindness。Butforaninstinctstrongerthanreasontheywouldneverhavebeenabletohavefoundtheirwayacrossthattracklessstretch。Thechil- drenlyingunconsciousundertheircoveringswereneitherdeadnoractuallyfrozen,al- thoughthemenputtingtheirhandsontheirlittleheartscouldnotatfirstdiscoverthebeating。Stiffandsufferingastheseyoungfellowswere,itwasnoeasymattertogetthewindowbackintoplaceandre-lightthefire。Theyhadtiedflasksofliquorabouttheirwaists;andthisbeneficentfluidtheyusedwiththatsenseofappreciationwhichonlyapioneercanfeeltowardwhiskey。ItwashoursbeforeCatherinerewardedthemwithagleamofconsciousness。Herbodyhadbeenfrozeninmanyplaces。Herarms,outstretchedoverherchildrenandholdingtheclothesdownaboutthem,wererigid。 Butconsciousnesscameatlength,dimlystrugglingupthroughherbrain;andoverhershesawherfriendsrubbingandrubbingthosestrongfirmarmsofherswithsnow。 Shehalfraisedherhead,withahorrorofcomprehensioninhereyes,andlistened。A cryansweredher,——acryofdullpainfromthebaby。Hendersondroppedonhiskneesbesideher。 \"Theyareallsafe,\"hesaid。\"Andwewillneverleaveyouagain。IhavebeenafraidtotellyouhowIloveyou。IthoughtImightoffendyou。IthoughtIoughttowait——youknowwhy。ButIwillneverletyouruntherisksofthisawfullifealoneagain。Youmustrenamethebaby。FromthisdayhisnameisJohn。AndwewillhavethethreeJohnsagainbackattheoldranch。Itdoesn\'tmatterwhetheryoulovemeornot,Catherine,Iamgoingtotakecareofyoujustthesame。Gillispieagreeswithme。” \"Damme,yes,\"mutteredGillispie,feelingofhiship-pocketforconsolationinhisoldmanner。 Catherinestruggledtofindhervoice,butitwouldnotcome。 \"Donotspeak,\"whisperedJohn。\"Tellmewithyoureyeswhetheryouwillcomeasmywifeoronlyasoursister。” Catherinetoldhim。 \"ThisisThanksgivingday,\"saidhe。 \"Andwedon\'tknowmuchaboutpraying,butIguessweallhavesomethinginourheartsthatdoesjustaswell。” \"Damme,yes,\"saidGillispie,again,ashepensivelycockedanduncockedhisre- volver。 AResuscitationAFTERbeingdeadtwentyyears,hewalkedoutintothesunshine。 Itwasasifthebonesofableachedskele- tonshouldjointhemselvesonsomeforgottenplain,andlookaboutthemforthevanishedflesh。 Tobedeaditisnotnecessarytobeinthegrave。Thereareplaceswherethewormscreepabouttheheartinsteadofthebody。 Thepenitentiaryisoneofthese。 DavidCulrosshadbeeninthepenitentiarytwentyyears。Now,withthatworm-eatenheart,hecameoutintolibertyandlookedabouthimforthehabilimentswithwhichhehadformerlyclothedhimself,——forhope,self-respect,courage,pugnacity,andindustry。 Buttheyhadvanishedandleftnotrace,likethefleshofthedeadmenontheplains,andso,morallyunapparelled,inthehideousskeletonofhismanhood,hewalkedondownthestreetunderthemid-Junesunshine。 Youcanunderstand,canyounot,howaskeletonmightwishtogetbackintoitscomfortablegrave?DavidCulrosshadnotwalkedtwoblocksbeforehewasseizedwithanalmostuncontrollabledesiretobegtobeshieldedoncemoreinthatsafeandshamefulretreatfromwhichhehadjustbeenreleased。Ahorribleperceptionofthelargenessoftheworldsweptoverhim。 Spaceandeternitycouldseemnolargertotheusualmanthanearth——thatsnugandinsignificantplanet——lookedtoDavidCulross。 \"IfIgoback,\"hecried,despairingly,lookinguptothegreatbuildingthataroseabovethestonyhills,\"theywillnottakemein。”Hewasabsolutelywithoutarefuge,utterlywithoutadestination;hedidnothaveahope。Therewasnothinghedesiredexceptthesurroundingofthosefournarrowwallsbetweenwhichhehadlainatnightanddreamedthoseever-recurringdreams,—— dreamswhichwereneverpropheciesorpromises,butalwaysthehackneyedhistoryofwhathehadsacrificedbyhiscrime,andrelinquishedbyhispride。 Themenwhopassedhimlookedathimwithmingledamusementandpity。Theyknewthe\"prisonlook,\"andtheyknewtheprisonclothes。ForthoughtheStategivestoitsdischargedconvictsclotheswhicharelikethoseofothermen,itmakesahundredsuitsfromthesamesortofcloth。Thepoliceknowthefabric,andeventhecitizensrecognizeit。But,then,wereeachmandressedindifferentgarbhecouldnotbedisguised。Everyoneknowsinwhatdullschoolthatsidelongglanceislearned,thataimlessdroopingoftheshoulders,thatrhythmicliftingoftheheavyfoot。 DavidCulrosswonderedifhiswillweredead。Heputittothetest。Helifteduphisheadtoapositionwhichithadnotheldformanymiserableyears。Heputhishandsinhispocketsinapitifulattemptatnon- chalance,andwalkeddownthestreetwithastepwhichwasmeanttobebrisk,butwhichwasinfactonlyuncertain。Inhispocketweretendollars。ThismuchtheStateequipsamanwithwhenitsendshimoutofitspenalhalls。Itgiveshimalsotransportationtoanypointwithinreasonabledistancethathemaydesiretoreach。Cul- rosshadrequestedatickettoChicago。HenaturallysaidChicago。Inthelongcolor- lessdaysithadbeeninChicagothatallthoseendlesslyrepeatedsceneshadbeenlaid。Walkingupthestreetnowwiththatwaveringineffectualgait,thesescenescamebacktosurgeinhisbrainlikewaterscease- lesslytossedinawind-sweptbasin。 Therewastheoffice,bareandclean,wheretheyoungstoop-shoulderedclerkssatwrit- ing。Intheirfaceswasastrangeresem- blance,justastherewasinthebacksoftheledgers,andintheendlessbillsonthespindles。Ifoneofthemlaughed,itwasnotwithgayety,butwithgratificationatthediscomfitureofanother。Noneofthematewell。Noneofthemwererestedaftersleep。Allofthemrodeonthestuffyone- horsecarstoandfromtheirwork。Sun- daystheylayinbedverylate,andatemoredinnerthantheycoulddigest。Therewasacertainfellowshipamongthem,——suchfel- lowshipasabandofcaptivesamongcanni- balsmightfeel,eachofthemwaitingwithvitalcuriositytoseewhowasthenexttobeeaten。Butofthatfellowshipthatplansinunison,suffersinsympathy,enjoysvicari- ously,strengthensintofriendshipandcom- munionofsoultheyknewnothing。Indeed,suchcamaraderiewouldhavebeendisap- provedofbytheHeadClerk。Hewouldhavelookedonanemotionwithexactlythesamedispleasurethathewouldonanerrorinthefootingoftheyear\'saccounts。ItwastacitlyunderstoodthatonereachedtheproudpositionofHeadClerkbyhavingnoemotionswhatever。 Culrossdidnotrememberhavingbeenbornwithapeninhishand,orevenwithonebehindhisear;butcertainlyfromthedayhehadbeenletoutofknickerbockershiscon- stantcompanionhadbeenthatgreatlyover- estimatedarticle。HisfatherdyingatatimethatcutshortDavid\'sschool-days,hewentoutarmedwithhisnewknowledgeofdouble- entry,determinedtomakeafortuneandacommercialname。Meantime,helivedinasuiteofthreeroomsonWestMadisonStreetwithhismother,whowasagoodwoman,andlivedwhereshedidthatshemightbenearherfavoritemeeting-house。Sheprayed,andcookedbaddinners,principallycomposedofdispiritingpastry。Herideaofhouse-keepingwastokeeptheshadesdown,whateverhappened;andwhenDavidlefthomeintheeveningforanypurposeofpleasure,shewept。Davidpersuadedhim- selfthathedespisedamusement,andwenttobedeachnightathalf-pastnineinafoldingbedsteadinthefrontroom,and,bybecomingabsolutelystolidfrommerevege- tation,imaginedthathewasalmostfittobeaHeadClerk。 Walkingdownthestreetnowafterthetwentyyears,thinkingofthesedeadbutinno- centdays,thiswasthepicturehesaw;andashereflecteduponit,eventhedespoiledanddesolateyearsjustpassedseemedricherbycontrast。 Hereachedthestationthusdreaming,andfound,ashehadbeentoldwhenthewardenbadehimgood-by,thatatrainwastobeathanddirectlyboundtothecity。Afewmomentslaterhewasonthattrain。Wellbackintheshadow,andoutofsightoftheotherpassengers,hegavehimselfuptotheenjoymentofthecomfortablecushion。Hewouldwillinglyhavelookedfromthewin- dow,——greenfieldswerenewandwonderful; driftingcloudsamarvel;men,houses,horses,farms,allarevelation,——butthosehauntingvisionswereathimagain,andwouldnotleavebrainoreyefreeforotherthings。 Butthenextscenehadwarmertints。Itwastheinteriorofarichroom,——crimsonandamberfabrics,flowers,thegleamofastatuebeyondthedrapings;thesoundofatenderpianounflingingafamiliarmelody,andawoman。Shewasjustapartofalltheluxury。 Hehimself,verytimidandconsciousofhisawkwardness,satnear,tryingbarrenlytogetsomeofhisthoughtsoutofhisbrainontohistongue。 \"Strange,isn\'tit,\"thewomanbrokeinonherownmusic,\"thatwehaveseeneachothersoveryoftenandneverspoken?I\'veoftenthoughtintroductionswereridiculous。 Fancyseeingapersonyearinandyearout,andreallyknowingallabouthim,andbeingperfectlyacquaintedwithhisname——atleasthisorhername,youknow——andthenneverspeaking!Someonecomesalong,andsays,\'MissLeBaron,thisisMr。 Culross,\'justasifonedidn\'tknowthatallthetime!Andthereyouare!Youceasetobedumbfolks,andfalltotalking,andsayalotofthingsneitherofyoucareabout,andafterfiveorsixweeksoftimeandsun- drymeetings,getdowntohonestlysayingwhatyoumean。I\'msogladwe\'vegotthroughwiththatfirststage,andcansaywhatwethinkandtellwhatwereallylike。” Thentheplayingbeganagain,——aharp- likeinterminglingofsoftsounds。ZoeLeBaron\'shandswereverygirlish。Every- thingaboutherwasunformed。Evenhermindwasso。Butallpromisedafullcom- pletion。Thevoice,theshoulders,thesmile,thewords,thelips,thearms,thewholemindandbody,wereroundingtomaturity。 \"Whydoyounevercometochurchinthemorning?\"asksMissLeBaron,wheel- ingaroundonherpiano-stoolsuddenly。 \"Youareonlythereatnight,withyourmother。” \"Igoonlyonheraccount,\"repliesDavid,truthfully。\"InthemorningIamsotiredwiththeweek\'sworkthatIrestathome。 Ioughttogo,Iknow。” \"Yes,youought,\"returnstheyoungwoman,gravely。\"Itdoesn\'treallyrestonetolieinbedlikethat。I\'vetrieditatboarding-school。Itwasnogoodwhatever。” \"Shouldyouadviseme,\"asksDavid,inaconfidingtone,\"toariseearlyonSunday?\" Thegirlblushesalittle。\"Byallmeans!\" shecries,hereyestwinkling,\"and——andcometochurch。Ourmorningsermonsarereallyverymuchbetterthanthoseintheevening。”Andsheplaysawaltz,andwhatwiththemusicandthewarmthoftheroomandtheperfumeoftheroses,asomethingnamelessandmysticalstealsoverthepoorclerk,andswatheshimaboutlikethefumesofopium。Theyarealone。Thesilenceismadedeeperbythatrhythmicunswellingofsound。Asthepainterflushesthebarewallintosplendor,theseemotionsillumi- natedhissoul,andgavetoitthathighcour- agethatcomeswhenmenorwomensuddenlyrealizethateachlifehasitssignificance,—— theirownlivesnolessthanthelivesofothers。 Themansittingthereintheshadowinthatnoisytrainsawinhisvisionhowtheladaroseandmoved,likeoneunderaspell,towardthepiano。Hefeltagaintheen- chantmentofthemusic-riddenquiet,oftheperfume,andthepresenceofthewoman。 \"Knowingyouandspeakingwithyouhavenotmademuchdifferencewithme,\" hewhispers,drunkonthenewwineofpassion,\"forIhavelovedyousinceIsawyoufirst。Andthoughitissosweettohearyouspeak,yourvoiceisnomorebeautifulthanIthoughtitwouldbe。Ihavelovedyoualongtime,andIwanttoknow——\" Thebrokenmanintheshadowremem- beredhowtheladstopped,astonishedathisboldnessandhisfluency,overcomesuddenlyatthethoughtofwhathewassaying。Themusicstoppedwithadiscord。Thegirlarose,tremblingandscarlet。 \"Iwouldnothavebelieveditofyou,\" shecries,\"totakeadvantageofmelikethis,whenIamalone——and——everything。 Youknowverywellthatnothingbuttroublecouldcometoeitherofusfromyourtellingmeathinglikethat。” Heputshishandsuptohisfacetokeepoffheranger。Heistremblingwithconfusion。 Thenshebrokeinpenitently,tryingtopullhishandsawayfromhishotface: \"Nevermind!Iknowyoudidn\'tmeananything。Begood,do,anddon\'tspoilthelovelytimeswehavetogether。Youknowverywellfatherandmotherwouldn\'tletusseeeachotheratallifthey——iftheythoughtyouweresayinganythingsuchasyousaidjustnow。” \"Oh,butIcan\'thelpit!\"criestheboy,despairingly。\"Ihaveneverlovedanybodyatalltillnow。Idon\'tmeannotanothergirl,youknow。ButyouarethefirstbeingIevercaredfor。IsometimesthinkmothercaresformebecauseIpaytherent。Andtheoffice——youcan\'timaginewhatthatislike。Themeninitaremovingcorpses。 They\'reproudtobethatway,andsowasI tillIknewyouandlearnedwhatlifewaslike。 AllthehappymomentsIhavehadhavebeenhere。Now,ifyoutellmethatwearenottocareforeachother——\" Therewassomeonecomingdownthehall。Thecurtainlifted。Amiddle-agedmanstoodtherelookingathim。 \"Culross,\"saidhe,\"I\'mdisappointedinyou。Ididn\'tmeantolisten,butIcouldn\'thelphearingwhatyousaidjustnow。I don\'tblameyouparticularly。Youngmenwillbefools。AndIdonotinanywaymeantoinsultyouwhenItellyoutostopyourcominghere。Idon\'twanttoseeyouinsidethisdooragain,andafterawhileyouwillthankmeforit。Youhavetakenaveryunfairadvantageofmyinvitation。I makeallowancesforyouryouth。” Heheldbackthecurtainfortheladtopassout。Davidthrewamiserableglanceatthegirl。ShewasstandinglookingatherfatherwithanexpressionthatDavidcouldnotfathom。Hewentintothehall,pickeduphishat,andwalkedoutinsilence。 Davidwonderedthatnight,walkingthechillystreetsafterhequittedthehouse,andoften,oftenafterward,ifthatcomfortableandprosperousgentleman,safebeyondtheperturbationsofyouth,hadanyideaofwhathehaddone。HowCOULDheknowanythingoftheblackmonotonyofthelifeofthemanheturnedfromhisdoor?The\"desk\'sdeadwood\"andallitshatefulslavery,thedulldarkenedroomswherehismotherprosedthroughendlessevenings,thebookless,joyless,hopelessexistencethathadcrampedhimallhisdaysroseupbeforehim,asastretchofunbrokenplainmayrisebeforealostmantillitmaddenshim。 Thebowedmaninthecar-seatremem- beredwithaflushofreminiscentmiseryhowtheladturnedsuddenlyinhiswalkandenteredthedoorofadrinking-roomthatstoodopen。Itwasverycomfortablewithin。Thescreenskeptoutthechilloftheautumnnight,thesawdust-sprinkledfloorwasclean,thetablesplacedneartogether,thebarglittering,theattendantswhite-apronedandbrisk。 Davidlikedtheplace,andhelikedbetterstillthelaughterthatcamefromaroomwithin。Ithadanoteinitalittledifferentfromanythinghehadeverheardbeforeinhislife,andonethatechoedhismood。Heventuredtoaskifhemightgointothefartherroom。 Itdoesnotmeanmuchwhenmostyoungmengotoaplacelikethis。Theytaketheirbitofunwholesomedissipationquietlyenough,andarealittlecoarserandmorecarelesseachtimetheyindulgeinit,perhaps。 Butcertainlytheiracts,whatevergradualdeteriorationtheymayindicate,bespeaknosuddenmoralrevolution。Withthisyoungclerkitwasdifferent。Hewasaworsemanfromthemomentheenteredthedoor,forhedidviolencetohisprinciples;hekilledhisself-respect。 Hehadbeenpaidattheofficethatnight,andhehadthemoney——aweek\'smiserablepittance——inhispocket。Hiseveryactionrevealedthefactthathewasanoviceinrecklessness。Hisinnocentfacepiquedthemenwithin。Theygavehimawelcomethatamazedhim。Ofcoursetherestoftheeveningwasachaostohim。Thethroatdownwhichhepouredtheliquorwasastenderasachild\'s。Thementurnedhisheadwiththeirironicalcompliments。Theirboisterousgood-fellowshipwasasintoxicat- ingtothispooryoungrecluseastheliquor。 Itwastherevulsionfromthisfeeling,whenhecametoaconsciousnessthatthemenwerelaughingathimandnotwithhim,thatwreckedhislife。Hehadgonefrombeertowhiskey,andfromwhiskeytobrandy,bythistime,atthesuggestionofthemen,andwasmakingawkwardlungeswithabilliardcue,spurredonbythemock- ingapplauseoftheothers。Oneyoungfellowwasparticularlyhilariousathisexpense。Hisjokesbecameinsults,orsotheyseemedtoDavid。 Aquarrelfollowed,halfajestonthepartoftheother,allseriousasfarasDavidwasconcerned。Andthen——Well,whocouldtellhowithappened?ThebilliardcuewasinDavid\'shand,andtheskullofthejesterwassplit,ahorriblegapingthing,revolt- inglyanimal。 Davidneversawhishomeagain。Hismothergaveitoutinchurchthatherheartwasbroken,andshewrotealettertoDavidbegginghimtoreform。Shesaidshewouldneverceasetoprayforhim,thathemightreturntograce。Hehadanattorney,animpecuniousandveryagedgentleman,whoselifewasavenerablefailure,andwhotalkedsomuchabouthispersonalinconveniencesfromindigestionthatheforgottotakeaverykeeninterestintheconcernsofhisclient。David\'strialmadenosensation。Hedidnotevenhavethecheapsympathyofthemorbid。Thecourt-roomwasalmostemptythedullspringdaywhentheeastwindbeatagainstthewindow,janglingtheloosepanesallthroughthereadingoftheverdict。 Twentyyears!