Shelookeddownandsighed;andtheypassedoutofthecrumblingoldplace,andslowlycrossedtothechurchyardentrance。Knightwasnothimself,andhecouldnotpretendtobe。Shehadnottoldall。
Hesupportedherlightlyoverthestile,andwaspracticallyasattentiveasalovercouldbe。Buttherehadpassedawayaglory,andthedreamwasnotasithadbeenofyore。PerhapsKnightwasnotshapedbyNatureforamarryingman。Perhapshislifelongconstrainttowardswomen,whichhehadattributedtoaccident,wasnotchanceafterall,butthenaturalresultofinstinctiveactssominuteastobeundiscernibleevenbyhimself。Orwhethertheroughdispellingofanybrightillusion,howeverimaginative,depreciatestherealandunexaggeratedbrightnesswhichappertainstoitsbasis,onecannotsay。CertainitwasthatKnight\'sdisappointmentatfindinghimselfsecondorthirdinthefield,atElfride\'smomentaryequivoque,andatherreluctancetobecandid,broughthimtothevergeofcynicism。
ChapterXXXIII
\'OdaughterofBabylon,wastedwithmisery。\'
AhabitofKnight\'s,whennotimmediatelyoccupiedwithElfride——
towalkbyhimselfforhalfanhourorsobetweendinnerandbedtime——hadbecomefamiliartohisfriendsatEndelstow,Elfrideherselfamongthem。Whenhehadhelpedheroverthestile,shesaidgently,\'Ifyouwishtotakeyourusualturnonthehill,Harry,Icanrundowntothehousealone。\'
\'Thankyou,Elfie;thenIthinkIwill。\'
Herformdiminishedtoblacknessinthemoonlight,andKnight,afterremaininguponthechurchyardstileafewminuteslonger,turnedbackagaintowardsthebuilding。Hisusualcoursewasnowtolightacigarorpipe,andindulgeinaquietmeditation。Butto-nighthismindwastootensetobethinkitselfofsuchasolace。Hemerelywalkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower,andsathimselfdownuponsomeofthelargestoneswhichhadcomposedituntilthisday,whenthechainofcircumstanceoriginatedbyStephenSmith,whileintheemployofMr。Hewby,theLondonmanofart,hadbroughtaboutitsoverthrow。
PonderingonthepossibleepisodesofElfride\'spastlife,andonhowhehadsupposedhertohavehadnopastjustifyingthename,hesatandregardedthewhitetombofyoungJethway,nowcloseinfrontofhim。Thesea,thoughcomparativelyplacid,couldasusualbeheardfromthispointalongthewholedistancebetweenpromontoriestotherightandleft,flounderingandentanglingitselfamongtheinsulatedstacksofrockwhichdottedthewater\'sedge——themiserableskeletonsoftorturedoldcliffsthatwouldnotevenyetsuccumbtothewearandtearofthetides。
Asachangefromthoughtsnotofaverycheerfulkind,Knightattemptedexertion。Hestoodup,andpreparedtoascendtothesummitoftheruinousheapofstones,fromwhichamoreextendedoutlookwasobtainablethanfromtheground。Hestretchedouthisarmtoseizetheprojectingarrisofalargerblockthanordinary,andsohelphimselfup,whenhishandlightedplumpuponasubstancedifferinginthegreatestpossibledegreefromwhathehadexpectedtoseize——hardstone。Itwasstringyandentangled,andtraileduponthestone。Thedeepshadowfromtheaislewallpreventedhisseeinganythingheredistinctly,andhebeganguessingasanecessity。\'Itisatressyspeciesofmossorlichen,\'hesaidtohimself。
Butitlaylooselyoverthestone。
\'Itisatuftofgrass,\'hesaid。
Butitlackedtheroughnessandhumidityofthefinestgrass。
\'Itisamason\'swhitewash-brush。\'
Suchbrushes,heremembered,weremorebristly;andhowevermuchusedinrepairingastructure,wouldnotberequiredinpullingonedown。
Hesaid,\'Itmustbeathreadysilkfringe。\'
Hefeltfurtherin。Itwassomewhatwarm。Knightinstantlyfeltsomewhatcold。
Tofindthecoldnessofinanimatematterwhereyouexpectwarmthisstartlingenough;butacoldertemperaturethanthatofthebodybeingrathertherulethantheexceptionincommonsubstances,ithardlyconveyssuchashocktothesystemasfindingwarmthwhereutterfrigidityisanticipated。
\'Godonlyknowswhatitis,\'hesaid。
Hefeltfurther,andinthecourseofaminuteputhishanduponahumanhead。Theheadwaswarm,butmotionless。Thethreadymasswasthehairofthehead——longandstraggling,showingthattheheadwasawoman\'s。
Knightinhisperplexitystoodstillforamoment,andcollectedhisthoughts。Thevicar\'saccountofthefallofthetowerwasthattheworkmenhadbeenunderminingitalltheday,andhadleftintheeveningintendingtogivethefinishingstrokethenextmorning。Halfanhouraftertheyhadgonetheunderminedanglecamedown。Thewomanwhowashalfburied,asitseemed,musthavebeenbeneathitatthemomentofthefall。
Knightleaptupandbeganendeavouringtoremovetherubbishwithhishands。Theheapoverlyingthebodywasforthemostpartfineanddusty,butinimmensequantity。Itwouldbeasavingoftimetorunforassistance。Hecrossedtothechurchyardwall,andhasteneddownthehill。
Alittlewaydownanintersectingroadpassedoverasmallridge,whichnowshowedupdarklyagainstthemoon,andthisroadhereformedakindofnotchinthesky-line。AtthemomentthatKnightarrivedatthecrossinghebeheldamanonthiseminence,comingtowardshim。Knightturnedasideandmetthestranger。
\'Therehasbeenanaccidentatthechurch,\'saidKnight,withoutpreface。\'Thetowerhasfallenonsomebody,whohasbeenlyingthereeversince。Willyoucomeandhelp?\'
\'ThatIwill,\'saidtheman。
\'Itisawoman,\'saidKnight,astheyhurriedback,\'andIthinkwetwoareenoughtoextricateher。Doyouknowofashovel?\'
\'Thegrave-diggingshovelsareaboutsomewhere。Theyusedtostayinthetower。\'
\'Andtheremustbesomebelongingtotheworkmen。\'
Theysearchedabout,andinanangleoftheporchfoundthreecarefullystowedaway。GoingroundtothewestendKnightsignifiedthespotofthetragedy。
\'Weoughttohavebroughtalantern,\'heexclaimed。\'Butwemaybeabletodowithout。\'Hesettoworkremovingthesuperincumbentmass。
Theotherman,wholookedonsomewhathelplesslyatfirst,nowfollowedtheexampleofKnight\'sactivity,andremovedthelargerstoneswhichweremingledwiththerubbish。Butwithalltheireffortsitwasquitetenminutesbeforethebodyoftheunfortunatecreaturecouldbeextricated。Theyliftedherascarefullyastheycould,breathlesslycarriedhertoFelixJethway\'stomb,whichwasonlyafewstepswestward,andlaidherthereon。
\'Isshedeadindeed?\'saidthestranger。
\'Sheappearstobe,\'saidKnight。\'Whichisthenearesthouse?
Thevicarage,Isuppose。\'
\'Yes;butsinceweshallhavetocallasurgeonfromCastleBoterel,Ithinkitwouldbebettertocarryherinthatdirection,insteadofawayfromthetown。\'
\'Andisitnotmuchfurthertothefirsthousewecometogoingthatway,thantothevicarageortoTheCrags?\'
\'Notmuch,\'thestrangerreplied。
\'Supposewetakeherthere,then。AndIthinkthebestwaytodoitwouldbethus,ifyoudon\'tmindjoininghandswithme。\'
\'Notintheleast;Iamgladtoassist。\'
Makingakindofcradle,byclaspingtheirhandscrosswiseundertheinanimatewoman,theyliftedher,andwalkedonsidebysidedownapathindicatedbythestranger,whoappearedtoknowthelocalitywell。
\'Ihadbeensittinginthechurchfornearlyanhour,\'Knightresumed,whentheywereoutofthechurchyard。\'AfterwardsI
walkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower,andsofoundher。
ItispainfultothinkIunconsciouslywastedsomuchtimeintheverypresenceofaperishing,flyingsoul。\'
\'Thetowerfellatdusk,diditnot?quitetwohoursago,I
think?\'
\'Yes。Shemusthavebeentherealone。Whatcouldhavebeenherobjectinvisitingthechurchyardthen?
\'Itisdifficulttosay。\'Thestrangerlookedinquiringlyintotherecliningfaceofthemotionlessformtheybore。\'Wouldyouturnherroundforamoment,sothatthelightshinesonherface?\'hesaid。
Theyturnedherfacetothemoon,andthemanlookedcloserintoherfeatures。\'Why,Iknowher!\'heexclaimed。
\'Whoisshe?\'
\'Mrs。Jethway。Andthecottagewearetakinghertoisherown。
Sheisawidow;andIwasspeakingtoheronlythisafternoon。I
wasatCastleBoterelpost-office,andshecametheretopostaletter。Poorsoul!Letushurryon。\'
\'Holdmywristalittletighter。Wasnotthattombwelaidheronthetombofheronlyson?\'
\'Yes,itwas。Yes,Iseeitnow。Shewastheretovisitthetomb。Sincethedeathofthatsonshehasbeenadesolate,despondingwoman,alwaysbewailinghim。Shewasafarmer\'swife,verywelleducated——agovernessoriginally,Ibelieve。\'
Knight\'sheartwasmovedtosympathy。HisownfortunesseemedinsomestrangewaytobeinterwovenwiththoseofthisJethwayfamily,throughtheinfluenceofElfrideoverhimselfandtheunfortunatesonofthathouse。Hemadenoreply,andtheystillwalkedon。
\'Shebeginstofeelheavy,\'saidthestranger,breakingthesilence。
\'Yes,shedoes,\'saidKnight;andafteranotherpauseadded,\'I
thinkIhavemetyoubefore,thoughwhereIcannotrecollect。MayIaskwhoyouare?\'
\'Ohyes。IamLordLuxellian。Whoareyou?\'
\'IamavisitoratTheCrags——Mr。Knight。\'
\'Ihaveheardofyou,Mr。Knight。\'
\'AndIofyou,LordLuxellian。Iamgladtomeetyou。\'
\'Imaysaythesame。Iamfamiliarwithyournameinprint。\'
\'AndIwithyours。Isthisthehouse?\'
\'Yes。\'
Thedoorwaslocked。Knight,reflectingamoment,searchedthepocketofthelifelesswoman,andfoundthereinalargekeywhich,onbeingappliedtothedoor,openediteasily。Thefirewasout,butthemoonlightenteredthequarriedwindow,andmadepatternsuponthefloor。Theraysenabledthemtoseethattheroomintowhichtheyhadenteredwasprettywellfurnished,itbeingthesameroomthatElfridehadvisitedalonetwoorthreeeveningsearlier。Theydepositedtheirstillburdenonanold-fashionedcouchwhichstoodagainstthewall,andKnightsearchedaboutforalamporcandle。Hefoundacandleonashelf,lightedit,andplaceditonthetable。
BothKnightandLordLuxellianexaminedthepalecountenanceattentively,andbothwerenearlyconvincedthattherewasnohope。Nomarksofviolencewerevisibleinthecasualexaminationtheymade。
\'IthinkthatasIknowwhereDoctorGransonlives,\'saidLordLuxellian,\'Ihadbetterrunforhimwhilstyoustayhere。\'
Knightagreedtothis。LordLuxellianthenwentoff,andhishurryingfootstepsdiedaway。Knightcontinuedbendingoverthebody,andafewminuteslongerofcarefulscrutinyperfectlysatisfiedhimthatthewomanwasfarbeyondthereachofthelancetandthedrug。Herextremitieswerealreadybeginningtogetstiffandcold。Knightcoveredherface,andsatdown。
Theminuteswentby。Theessayistremainedmusingonalltheoccurrencesofthenight。Hiseyesweredirecteduponthetable,andhehadseenforsometimethatwriting-materialswerespreaduponit。Henownoticedthesemoreparticularly:therewereaninkstand,pen,blotting-book,andnote-paper。Severalsheetsofpaperwerethrustasidefromtherest,uponwhichlettershadbeenbegunandrelinquished,asiftheirformhadnotbeensatisfactorytothewriter。Astickofblacksealing-waxandsealweretheretoo,asiftheordinaryfasteninghadnotbeenconsideredsufficientlysecure。Theabandonedsheetsofpaperlyingastheydidopenuponthetable,madeitpossible,ashesat,toreadthefewwordswrittenoneach。Oneranthus:
\'SIR,——Asawomanwhowasonceblestwithadearsonofherown,I
imploreyoutoacceptawarning——\'
Another:
\'SIR,——Ifyouwilldeigntoreceivewarningfromastrangerbeforeitistoolatetoalteryourcourse,listento——\'
Thethird:
\'SIR,——WiththisletterIenclosetoyouanotherwhich,unaidedbyanyexplanationfromme,tellsastartlingtale。Iwish,however,toaddafewwordstomakeyourdelusionyetmorecleartoyou——
\'
Itwasplainthat,aftertheserenouncedbeginnings,afourthletterhadbeenwrittenanddespatched,whichhadbeendeemedaproperone。Uponthetableweretwodropsofsealing-wax,thestickfromwhichtheyweretakenhavingbeenlaiddownoverhangingtheedgeofthetable;theendofitdrooped,showingthatthewaxwasplacedtherewhilstwarm。Therewasthechairinwhichthewriterhadsat,theimpressionoftheletter\'saddressupontheblotting-paper,andthepoorwidowwhohadcausedtheseresultslyingdeadhardby。KnighthadseenenoughtoleadhimtotheconclusionthatMrs。Jethway,havingmatterofgreatimportancetocommunicatetosomefriendoracquaintance,hadwrittenhimaverycarefulletter,andgoneherselftopostit;thatshehadnotreturnedtothehousefromthattimeofleavingittillLordLuxellianandhimselfhadbroughtherbackdead。
Theunutterablemelancholyofthewholescene,ashewaitedon,silentandalone,didnotaltogetherclashwiththemoodofKnight,eventhoughhewastheaffiancedofafairandwinninggirl,andthoughsolatelyhehadbeeninhercompany。Whilstsittingontheremainsofthedemolishedtowerhehaddefinedanewsensation;thatthelengthenedcourseofinactionhehadlatelybeenindulginginonElfride\'saccountmightprobablynotbegoodforhimasamanwhohadworktodo。Itcouldquicklybeputanendtobyhasteningonhismarriagewithher。
Knight,inhisownopinion,wasonewhohadmissedhismarkbyexcessiveaiming。Havingnow,toagreatextent,givenupidealambitions,hewishedearnestlytodirecthispowersintoamorepracticalchannel,andthuscorrecttheintrospectivetendencieswhichhadneverbroughthimselfmuchhappiness,ordonehisfellow-creaturesanygreatgood。Tomakeastartinthisnewdirectionbymarriage,which,sinceknowingElfride,hadbeensoentrancinganidea,waslessexquisiteto-night。Thatthecurtailmentofhisillusionregardingherhadsomethingtodowiththereaction,andwiththereturnofhisoldsentimentsonwastingtime,ismorethanprobable。ThoughKnight\'shearthadsogreatlymasteredhim,themasterywasnotsocompleteastobeeasilymaintainedinthefaceofamoderateintellectualrevival。
Hisreveriewasbrokenbythesoundofwheels,andahorse\'stramp。Thedooropenedtoadmitthesurgeon,LordLuxellian,andaMr。Coole,coronerforthedivision(whohadbeenattendingatCastleBoterelthatveryday,andwashavinganafter-dinnerchatwiththedoctorwhenLordLuxellianarrived);nextcametwofemalenursesandsomeidlers。
Mr。Granson,afteracursoryexamination,pronouncedthewomandeadfromsuffocation,inducedbyintensepressureontherespiratoryorgans;andarrangementsweremadethattheinquiryshouldtakeplaceonthefollowingmorning,beforethereturnofthecoronertoSt。Launce\'s。
Shortlyafterwardsthehouseofthewidowwasdesertedbyallitslivingoccupants,andsheabodeindeath,asshehadinherlifeduringthepasttwoyears,entirelyalone。
ChapterXXXIV
\'Yea,happyshallhebethatrewardeththeeasthouhastservedus。\'
Sixteenhourshadpassed。Knightwasenteringtheladies\'boudoiratTheCrags,uponhisreturnfromattendingtheinquesttouchingthedeathofMrs。Jethway。Elfridewasnotintheapartment。
Mrs。Swancourtmadeafewinquiriesconcerningtheverdictandcollateralcircumstances。Thenshesaid——
\'Thepostmancamethismorningtheminuteafteryouleftthehouse。Therewasonlyoneletterforyou,andIhaveithere。\'
Shetookaletterfromthelidofherworkbox,andhandedittohim。Knighttookthemissiveabstractedly,butstruckbyitsappearancemurmuredafewwordsandlefttheroom。
Theletterwasfastenedwithablackseal,andthehandwritinginwhichitwasaddressedhadlainunderhiseyes,longandprominently,onlytheeveningbefore。
Knightwasgreatlyagitated,andlookedaboutforaspotwherehemightbesecurefrominterruption。Itwastheseasonofheavydews,whichlayontheherbageinshadyplacesallthedaylong;
nevertheless,heenteredasmallpatchofneglectedgrass-platenclosedbytheshrubbery,andthereperusedtheletter,whichhehadopenedonhiswaythither。
Thehandwriting,theseal,thepaper,theintroductorywords,allhadtoldontheinstantthattheletterhadcometohimfromthehandsofthewidowJethway,nowdeadandcold。Hehadinstantlyunderstoodthattheunfinishednoteswhichcaughthiseyeyesternightwereintendedfornobodybuthimself。HehadrememberedsomeofthewordsofElfrideinhersleeponthesteamer,thatsomebodywasnottotellhimofsomething,oritwouldbeherruin——acircumstancehithertodeemedsotrivialandmeaninglessthathehadwell-nighforgottenit。Allthesethingsinfusedintohimanemotionintenseinpowerandsupremelydistressinginquality。Thepaperinhishandquiveredasheread:
\'THEVALLEY,ENDELSTOW。
\'SIR,——Awomanwhohasnotmuchintheworldtolosebyanycensurethisactmaybringuponher,wishestogiveyousomehintsconcerningaladyyoulove。Ifyouwilldeigntoacceptawarningbeforeitistoolate,youwillnoticewhatyourcorrespondenthastosay。
\'Youaredeceived。Cansuchawomanasthisbeworthy?
\'Onewhoencouragedanhonestyouthtoloveher,thenslightedhim,sothathedied。
\'Onewhonexttookamanofnobirthasalover,whowasforbiddenthehousebyherfather。
\'Onewhosecretlyleftherhometobemarriedtothatman,methim,andwentwithhimtoLondon。
\'Onewho,forsomereasonorother,returnedagainunmarried。
\'Onewho,inherafter-correspondencewithhim,wentsofarastoaddresshimasherhusband。
\'Onewhowrotetheenclosedlettertoaskme,whobetterthananybodyelseknowsthestory,tokeepthescandalasecret。
\'Ihopesoontobebeyondthereachofeitherblameorpraise。
ButbeforeremovingmeGodhasputitinmypowertoavengethedeathofmyson。
\'GERTRUDEJETHWAY。\'
TheletterenclosedwasthenoteinpencilthatElfridehadwritteninMrs。Jethway\'scottage:
\'DEARMRS。JETHWAY,——Ihavebeentovisityou。Iwantedmuchtoseeyou,butIcannotwaitanylonger。Icametobegyounottoexecutethethreatsyouhaverepeatedtome。Donot,Ibeseechyou,Mrs。Jethway,letanyoneknowIranawayfromhome!Itwouldruinmewithhim,andbreakmyheart。Iwilldoanythingforyou,ifyouwillbekindtome。Inthenameofourcommonwomanhood,donot,Iimploreyou,makeascandalofme——Yours,\'E。SWANCOURT。
Knightturnedhisheadwearilytowardsthehouse。Thegroundroserapidlyonnearingtheshrubberyinwhichhestood,raisingitalmosttoalevelwiththefirstfloorofTheCrags。Elfride\'sdressing-roomlayinthesalientangleinthisdirection,anditwaslightedbytwowindowsinsuchapositionthat,fromKnight\'sstanding-place,hissightpassedthroughbothwindows,andrakedtheroom。Elfridewasthere;shewaspausingbetweenthetwowindows,lookingatherfigureinthecheval-glass。Sheregardedherselflongandattentivelyinfront;turned,flungbackherhead,andobservedthereflectionoverhershoulder。
Nobodycanpredicateastoherobjectorfancy;shemayhavedonethedeedintheveryabstractionofdeepsadness。Shemayhavebeenmoaningfromthebottomofherheart,\'HowunhappyamI!\'ButtheimpressionproducedonKnightwasnotagoodone。Hedroppedhiseyesmoodily。Thedeadwoman\'sletterhadavirtueintheaccidentofitsjuncturefarbeyondanyitintrinsicallyexhibited。Circumstancelenttoevilwordsaringofpitilessjusticeechoingfromthegrave。Knightcouldnotenduretheirpossession。Hetoretheletterintofragments。
Heheardabrushingamongthebushesbehind,andturninghisheadhesawElfridefollowinghim。Thefairgirllookedinhisfacewithawistfulsmileofhope,tooforcedlyhopefultodisplacethefirmlyestablisheddreadbeneathit。Hisseverewordsofthepreviousnightstillsatheavyuponher。
\'Isawyoufrommywindow,Harry,\'shesaidtimidly。
\'Thedewwillmakeyourfeetwet,\'heobserved,asonedeaf。
\'Idon\'tmindit。\'
\'Thereisdangeringettingwetfeet。\'
\'Yes……Harry,whatisthematter?\'
\'Oh,nothing。ShallIresumetheseriousconversationIhadwithyoulastnight?No,perhapsnot;perhapsIhadbetternot。\'
\'Oh,Icannottell!Howwretcheditallis!Ah,Iwishyouwereyourowndearselfagain,andhadkissedmewhenIcameup!Whydidn\'tyouaskmeforone?whydon\'tyounow?\'
\'Toofreeinmannerbyhalf,\'heheardmurmurthevoicewithinhim。
\'Itwasthathatefulconversationlastnight,\'shewenton。\'Oh,thosewords!Lastnightwasablacknightforme。\'
\'Kiss!——Ihatethatword!Don\'ttalkofkissing,forGod\'ssake!I
shouldthinkyoumightwithadvantagehaveshowntactenoughtokeepbackthatword\"kiss,\"consideringthoseyouhaveaccepted。\'
Shebecameverypale,andarigidanddesolatecharacterytookpossessionofherface。Thatfacewassodelicateandtenderinappearancenow,thatonecouldfancythepressureofafingeruponitwouldcausealividspot。
Knightwalkedon,andElfridewithhim,silentandunopposing。Heopenedagate,andtheyenteredapathacrossastubble-field。
\'PerhapsIintrudeuponyou?\'shesaidasheclosedthegate。
\'ShallIgoaway?\'
\'No。Listentome,Elfride。\'Knight\'svoicewaslowandunequal。
\'Ihavebeenhonestwithyou:willyoubesowithme?Ifany——
strange——connectionhasexistedbetweenyourselfandapredecessorofmine,tellitnow。ItisbetterthatIknowitnow,eventhoughtheknowledgeshouldpartus,thanthatIshoulddiscoveritintimetocome。Andsuspicionshavebeenawakenedinme。I
thinkIwillnotsayhow,becauseIdespisethemeans。A
discoveryofanymysteryofyourpastwouldembitterourlives。\'
Knightwaitedwithaslowmannerofcalmness。Hiseyesweresadandimperative。Theywentfartheralongthepath。
\'WillyouforgivemeifItellyouall?\'sheexclaimedentreatingly。
\'Ican\'tpromise;somuchdependsuponwhatyouhavetotell。\'
Elfridecouldnotendurethesilencewhichfollowed。
\'Areyounotgoingtoloveme?\'sheburstout。\'Harry,Harry,loveme,andspeakasusual!Do;Ibeseechyou,Harry!\'
\'Areyougoingtoactfairlybyme?\'saidKnight,withrisinganger;\'orareyounot?WhathaveIdonetoyouthatIshouldbeputofflikethis?Becaughtlikeabirdinaspringe;everythingintendedtobehiddenfromme!Whyisit,Elfride?That\'swhatI
askyou。\'
Intheiragitationtheyhadleftthepath,andwerewanderingamongthewetandobstructivestubble,withoutknowingorheedingit。
\'WhathaveIdone?\'shefaltered。
\'What?Howcanyouaskwhat,whenyouknowsowell?YouKNOWthatIhavedesignedlybeenkeptinignoranceofsomethingattachingtoyou,which,hadIknownofit,mighthavealteredallmyconduct;
andyetyousay,what?\'
Shedroopedvisibly,andmadenoanswer。
\'NotthatIbelieveinmaliciousletter-writersandwhisperers;
notI。Idon\'tknowwhetherIdoordon\'t:uponmysoul,Ican\'ttell。Iknowthis:areligionwasbuildingitselfuponyouinmyheart。Ilookedintoyoureyes,andthoughtIsawtheretruthandinnocenceaspureandperfectaseverembodiedbyGodinthefleshofwoman。Perfecttruthistoomuchtoexpect,butordinarytruthIWILLHAVEornothingatall。Justsay,then;isthematteryoukeepbackofthegravestimportance,orisitnot?\'
\'Idon\'tunderstandallyourmeaning。IfIhavehiddenanythingfromyou,ithasbeenbecauseIlovedyouso,andIfeared——
feared——toloseyou。\'
\'Sinceyouarenotgiventoconfidence,Iwanttoaskyousomeplainquestions。HaveIyourpermission?\'
\'Yes,\'shesaid,andtherecameoverherfaceawearyresignation。
\'Saytheharshestwordsyoucan;Iwillbearthem!\'
\'Thereisascandalintheairconcerningyou,Elfride;andI
cannotevencombatitwithoutknowingdefinitelywhatitis。Itmaynotrefertoyouentirely,orevenatall。\'Knighttrifledintheverybitternessofhisfeeling。\'InthetimeoftheFrenchRevolution,Pariseau,aballet-master,wasbeheadedbymistakeforParisot,acaptainoftheKing\'sGuard。Iwishtherewasanother\"E。Swancourt\"intheneighbourhood。Lookatthis。\'
HehandedherthelettershehadwrittenandleftonthetableatMrs。Jethway\'s。Shelookedoveritvacantly。
\'Itisnotsomuchasitseems!\'shepleaded。\'Itseemswickedlydeceptivetolookatnow,butithadamuchmorenaturaloriginthanyouthink。Mysolewishwasnottoendangerourlove。O
Harry!thatwasallmyidea。Itwasnotmuchharm。\'
\'Yes,yes;butindependentlyofthepoormiserablecreature\'sremarks,itseemstoimply——somethingwrong。\'
\'Whatremarks?\'
\'Thoseshewroteme——nowtorntopieces。Elfride,DIDyourunawaywithamanyouloved?——thatwasthedamnablestatement。Hassuchanaccusationlifeinit——really,truly,Elfride?\'
\'Yes,\'shewhispered。
Knight\'scountenancesank。\'Tobemarriedtohim?\'camehuskilyfromhislips。
\'Yes。Oh,forgiveme!Ihadneverseenyou,Harry。\'
\'ToLondon?\'
\'Yes;butI——\'
\'Answermyquestions;saynothingelse,ElfrideDidyoueverdeliberatelytrytomarryhiminsecret?\'
\'No;notdeliberately。\'
\'Butdidyoudoit?\'
Afeebleredpassedoverherface。
\'Yes,\'shesaid。
\'Andafterthat——didyou——writetohimasyourhusband;anddidheaddressyouashiswife?\'
\'Listen,listen!Itwas——\'
\'Doanswerme;onlyanswerme!\'
\'Then,yes,wedid。\'Herlipsshook;butitwaswithsomelittledignitythatshecontinued:\'Iwouldgladlyhavetoldyou;forI
knewandknowIhaddonewrong。ButIdarednot;Ilovedyoutoowell。Oh,sowell!Youhavebeeneverythingintheworldtome——
andyouarenow。Willyounotforgiveme?\'
Itisamelancholythought,thatmenwhoatfirstwillnotallowtheverdictofperfectiontheypronounceupontheirsweetheartsorwivestobedisturbedbyGod\'sowntestimonytothecontrary,will,oncesuspectingtheirpurity,morallyhangthemuponevidencetheywouldbeashamedtoadmitinjudgingadog。
Thereluctancetotell,whicharosefromElfride\'ssimplicityinthinkingherselfsomuchmoreculpablethanshereallywas,hadbeendoingfatalworkinKnight\'smind。Themanofmanyideas,nowthathisfirstdreamofimpossiblethingswasover,vibratedtoofarinthecontrarydirection;andhereverymovementoffeature——everytremor——everyconfusedword——wastakenassomuchproofofherunworthiness。
\'Elfride,wemustbidgood-byetocompliment,\'saidKnight:\'wemustdowithoutpolitenessnow。Lookinmyface,andasyoubelieveinGodabove,tellmetrulyonethingmore。Wereyouawayalonewithhim?\'
\'Yes。\'
\'Didyoureturnhomethesamedayonwhichyouleftit?\'
\'No。\'
Thewordfelllikeabolt,andtheverylandandskyseemedtosuffer。Knightturnedaside。MeantimeElfride\'scountenanceworealookindicatingutterdespairofbeingabletoexplainmatterssothattheywouldseemnomorethantheyreallywere,——adespairwhichnotonlyrelinquishesthehopeofdirectexplanation,butwearilygivesupallcollateralchancesofextenuation。
ThescenewasengravedforyearsontheretinaofKnight\'seye:
thedeadandbrownstubble,theweedsamongit,thedistantbeltofbeechesshuttingouttheviewofthehouse,theleavesofwhichwerenowredandsicktodeath。
\'Youmustforgetme,\'hesaid。\'Weshallnotmarry,Elfride。\'
Howmuchanguishpassedintohersoulatthosewordsfromhimwastoldbythelookofsupremetortureshewore。
\'Whatmeaninghaveyou,Harry?Youonlysayso,doyou?\'
Shelookeddoubtinglyupathim,andtriedtolaugh,asiftheunrealityofhiswordsmustbeunquestionable。
\'Youarenotinearnest,Iknow——Ihopeyouarenot?SurelyI
belongtoyou,andyouaregoingtokeepmeforyours?\'
\'Elfride,Ihavebeenspeakingtooroughlytoyou;IhavesaidwhatIoughtonlytohavethought。Ilikeyou;andletmegiveyouawordofadvice。Marryyourmanassoonasyoucan。Howeverwearyofeachotheryoumayfeel,youbelongtoeachother,andI
amnotgoingtostepbetweenyou。DoyouthinkIwould——doyouthinkIcouldforamoment?Ifyoucannotmarryhimnow,andanothermakesyouhiswife,donotrevealthissecrettohimaftermarriage,ifyoudonotbefore。Honestywouldbedamnationthen。\'
Bewilderedbyhisexpressions,sheexclaimed——
\'No,no;IwillnotbeawifeunlessIamyours;andImustbeyours!\'
\'Ifwehadmarried——\'
\'Butyoudon\'tMEAN——that——that——youwillgoawayandleaveme,andnotbeanythingmoretome——oh,youdon\'t!\'
Convulsivesobstookallnerveoutofherutterance。Shecheckedthem,andcontinuedtolookinhisfacefortherayofhopethatwasnottobefoundthere。
\'Iamgoingindoors,\'saidKnight。\'Youwillnotfollowme,Elfride;Iwishyounotto。\'
\'Ohno;indeed,Iwillnot。\'
\'AndthenIamgoingtoCastleBoterel。Good-bye。\'
Hespokethefarewellasifitwerebutfortheday——lightly,ashehadspokensuchtemporaryfarewellsmanytimesbefore——andsheseemedtounderstanditassuch。Knighthadnotthepowertotellherplainlythathewasgoingforever;hehardlyknewforcertainthathewas:whetherheshouldrushbackagainuponthecurrentofanirresistibleemotion,orwhetherhecouldsufficientlyconquerhimself,andherinhim,toestablishthatpartingasasupremefarewell,andpresenthimselftotheworldagainasnowoman\'s。
Tenminuteslaterhehadleftthehouse,leavingdirectionsthatifhedidnotreturnintheeveninghisluggagewastobesenttohischambersinLondon,whenceheintendedtowritetoMr。
Swancourtastothereasonsofhissuddendeparture。Hedescendedthevalley,andcouldnotforbearturninghishead。Hesawthestubble-field,andaslightgirlishfigureinthemidstofit——upagainstthesky。Elfride,docileasever,hadhardlymovedastep,forhehadsaid,Remain。Helookedandsawheragain——hesawherforweeksandmonths。Hewithdrewhiseyesfromthescene,swepthishandacrossthem,asiftobrushawaythesight,breathedalowgroan,andwenton。
ChapterXXXV
\'Andwiltthouleavemethus?——saynay——saynay!\'
ThesceneshiftstoKnight\'schambersinBede\'sInn。ItwaslateintheeveningofthedayfollowinghisdeparturefromEndelstow。
AdrizzlingraindescendeduponLondon,formingahumidanddrearyhaloovereverywell-lightedstreet。Therainhadnotyetbeenprevalentlongenoughtogivetorapidvehiclesthatclearanddistinctrattlewhichfollowsthethoroughwashingofthestonesbyadrenchingrain,butwasjustsufficienttomakefootwayandroadwayslippery,adhesive,andcloggingtobothfeetandwheels。
Knightwasstandingbythefire,lookingintoitsexpiringembers,previouslytoemergingfromhisdoorforadrearyjourneyhometoRichmond。Hishatwason,andthegasturnedoff。Theblindofthewindowoverlookingthealleywasnotdrawndown;andwiththelightfrombeneath,whichshoneovertheceilingoftheroom,came,inplaceoftheusualbabble,onlythereducedclatterandquickspeechwhichweretheresultofnecessityratherthanchoice。
Whilsthethusstood,waitingfortheexpirationofthefewminutesthatwerewantingtothetimeforhiscatchingthetrain,alighttappinguponthedoormingledwiththeothersoundsthatreachedhisears。Itwassofaintatfirstthattheouternoiseswerealmostsufficienttodrownit。FindingitrepeatedKnightcrossedthelobby,crowdedwithbooksandrubbish,andopenedthedoor。
Awoman,closelymuffledup,butvisiblyoffragilebuild,wasstandingonthelandingunderthegaslight。Shesprangforward,flungherarmsroundKnight\'sneck,andutteredalowcry——
\'OHarry,Harry,youarekillingme!Icouldnothelpcoming。
Don\'tsendmeaway——don\'t!ForgiveyourElfrideforcoming——Iloveyouso!\'
Knight\'sagitationandastonishmentmasteredhimforafewmoments。
\'Elfride!\'hecried,\'whatdoesthismean?Whathaveyoudone?\'
\'Donothurtmeandpunishme——Oh,donot!Icouldn\'thelpcoming;
itwaskillingme。Lastnight,whenyoudidnotcomeback,I
couldnotbearit——Icouldnot!Onlyletmebewithyou,andseeyourface,Harry;Idon\'taskformore。\'
Hereyelidswerehot,heavy,andthickwithexcessiveweeping,andthedelicaterose-redofhercheekswasdisfiguredandinflamedbytheconstantchafingofthehandkerchiefinwipinghermanytears。
\'Whoiswithyou?Haveyoucomealone?\'hehurriedlyinquired。
\'Yes。Whenyoudidnotcomelastnight,Isatuphopingyouwouldcome——andthenightwasallagony——andIwaitedonandon,andyoudidnotcome!Thenwhenitwasmorning,andyourlettersaidyouweregone,Icouldnotendureit;andIranawayfromthemtoSt。
Launce\'s,andcamebythetrain。AndIhavebeenalldaytravellingtoyou,andyouwon\'tmakemegoawayagain,willyou,Harry,becauseIshallalwaysloveyoutillIdie?\'
\'Yetitiswrongforyoutostay。OElfride!whathaveyoucommittedyourselfto?Itisruintoyourgoodnametoruntomelikethis!Hasnotyourfirstexperiencebeensufficienttokeepyoufromthesethings?\'
\'Myname!Harry,Ishallsoondie,andwhatgoodwillmynamebetomethen?Oh,couldIbutbethemanandyouthewoman,Iwouldnotleaveyouforsuchalittlefaultasmine!Donotthinkitwassovileathinginmetorunawaywithhim。Ah,howIwishyoucouldhaverunawaywithtwentywomenbeforeyouknewme,thatI
mightshowyouIwouldthinkitnofault,butbegladtogetyouafterthemall,sothatIhadyou!Ifyouonlyknewmethroughandthrough,howtrueIam,Harry。CannotIbeyours?Sayyoulovemejustthesame,anddon\'tletmebeseparatedfromyouagain,willyou?Icannotbearit——allthelonghoursanddaysandnightsgoingon,andyounotthere,butawaybecauseyouhateme!\'
\'Nothateyou,Elfride,\'hesaidgently,andsupportedherwithhisarm。\'Butyoucannotstayherenow——justatpresent,Imean。\'
\'IsupposeImustnot——IwishImight。Iamafraidthatif——youlosesightofme——somethingdarkwillhappen,andweshallnotmeetagain。Harry,ifIamnotgoodenoughtobeyourwife,I
wishIcouldbeyourservantandlivewithyou,andnotbesentawaynevertoseeyouagain。Idon\'tmindwhatitisexceptthat!\'