第20章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:13933更新时间:18/12/13 16:52:01
\'No,Icannotsendyouaway:Icannot。Godknowswhatdarkfuturemayariseoutofthisevening\'swork;butIcannotsendyouaway! Youmustsitdown,andIwillendeavourtocollectmythoughtsandseewhathadbetterbedone。 Atthatmomentaloudknockingatthehousedoorwasheardbyboth,accompaniedbyahurriedringingofthebellthatechoedfromattictobasement。Thedoorwasquicklyopened,andafterafewhastywordsofconverseinthehall,heavyfootstepsascendedthestairs。 ThefaceofMr。Swancourt,flushed,grieved,andstern,appearedroundthelandingofthestaircase。Hecamehigherup,andstoodbesidethem。GlancingoverandpastKnightwithsilentindignation,heturnedtothetremblinggirl。 \'OElfride!andhaveIfoundyouatlast?Aretheseyourtricks,madam?Whenwillyougetridofyouridiocies,andconductyourselflikeadecentwoman?Ismyfamilynameandhousetobedisgracedbyactsthatwouldbeascandaltoawasherwoman\'sdaughter?Comealong,madam;come!\' \'Sheissoweary!\'saidKnight,inavoiceofintensestanguish。 \'Mr。Swancourt,don\'tbeharshwithher——letmebegofyoutobetenderwithher,andloveher!\' \'Toyou,sir,\'saidMr。Swancourt,turningtohimasifbythesheerpressureofcircumstances,\'Ihavelittletosay。Icanonlyremark,thatthesoonerIcanretirefromyourpresencethebetterIshallbepleased。Whyyoucouldnotconductyourcourtshipofmydaughterlikeanhonestman,Idonotknow。Whyshe——afoolishinexperiencedgirl——shouldhavebeentemptedtothispieceoffolly,Idonotknow。Evenifshehadnotknownbetterthantoleaveherhome,youmighthave,Ishouldthink。\' \'Itisnothisfault:hedidnottemptme,papa!Icame。\' \'Ifyouwishedthemarriagebrokenoff,whydidn\'tyousaysoplainly?Ifyouneverintendedtomarry,whycouldyounotleaveheralone?Uponmysoul,itgratesmetothehearttobeobligedtothinksoillofamanIthoughtmyfriend!\' Knight,soul-sickandwearyofhislife,didnotarousehimselftoutterawordinreply。HowshouldhedefendhimselfwhenhisdefencewastheaccusationofElfride?Onthataccounthefeltamiserablesatisfactioninlettingherfathergoonthinkingandspeakingwrongfully。Itwasafaintrayofpleasurestrayingintothegreatgloominessofhisbraintothinkthatthevicarmightneverknowbutthathe,asherlover,temptedheraway,whichseemedtobetheformMr。Swancourt\'smisapprehensionhadtaken。 \'Now,areyoucoming?\'saidMr。Swancourttoheragain。Hetookherunresistinghand,drewitwithinhisarm,andledherdownthestairs。Knight\'seyesfollowedher,thelastmomentbegettinginhimafrantichopethatshewouldturnherhead。Shepassedon,andneverlookedback。 Heheardthedooropen——closeagain。Thewheelsofacabgrazedthekerbstone,amurmureddirectionfollowed。Thedoorwasslammedtogether,thewheelsmoved,andtheyrolledaway。 FromthathourofherreappearanceadreadfulconflictragedwithinthebreastofHenryKnight。Hisinstinct,emotion,affectiveness——orwhateveritmaybecalled——urgedhimtostandforward,seizeuponElfride,andbehercherisherandprotectorthroughlife。ThencamethedevastatingthoughtthatElfride\'schildlike,unreasoning,andindiscreetactinflyingtohimonlyprovedthattheproprietiesmustbeadeadletterwithher;thattheunreserve,whichwasreallyartlessnesswithoutballast,meantindifferencetodecorum;andwhatsolikelyasthatsuchawomanhadbeendeceivedinthepast?Hesaidtohimself,inamoodofthebitterestcynicism:\'Thesuspiciousdiscreetwomanwhoimaginesdarkandevilthingsofallherfellow-creaturesisfartooshrewdtobedeludedbyman:trustingbeingslikeElfridearethewomenwhofall。\' Hoursanddayswentby,andKnightremainedinactive。Lengtheningtime,whichmadefaintertheheart-awakeningpowerofherpresence,strengthenedthementalabilitytoreasonherdown。 Elfridelovedhim,heknew,andhecouldnotleaveofflovingherbutmarryherhewouldnot。IfshecouldbutbeagainhisownElfride——thewomanshehadseemedtobe——butthatwomanwasdeadandburied,andheknewhernomore!AndhowcouldhemarrythisElfride,onewho,ifhehadoriginallyseenherasshewas,wouldhavebeenbarelyaninterestingpitiableacquaintanceinhiseyes—— nomore? Itcankeredhishearttothinkhewasconfrontedbytheclosestinstanceofaworsestateofthingsthananyhehadassumedinthepleasantsocialphilosophyandsatireofhisessays。 Themoralrightnessofthisman\'slifewasworthyofallpraise; butinspiteofsomeintellectualacumen,Knighthadinhimamodicumofthatwrongheadednesswhichismostlyfoundinscrupulouslyhonestpeople。Withhim,truthseemedtoocleanandpureanabstractiontobesohopelesslychurnedinwitherroraspracticalpersonsfindit。HavingnowseenhimselfmistakeninsupposingElfridetobepeerless,nothingonearthcouldmakehimbelieveshewasnotsoverybadafterall。 Helingeredintownafortnight,doinglittleelsethanvibratebetweenpassionandopinions。Oneidearemainedintact——thatitwasbetterElfrideandhimselfshouldnotmeet。 Whenhesurveyedthevolumesonhisshelves——fewofwhichhadbeenopenedsinceElfridefirsttookpossessionofhisheart——theiruntouchedandorderlyarrangementreproachedhimasanapostatefromtheoldfaithofhisyouthandearlymanhood。Hehaddesertedthosenever-failingfriends,sotheyseemedtosay,foranunstabledelightinaductilewoman,whichhadendedallinbitterness。Thespiritofself-denial,vergingonasceticism,whichhadeveranimatedKnightinoldtimes,announceditselfashavingdepartedwiththebirthoflove,withithavinggonetheself-respectwhichhadcompensatedforthelackofself- gratification。PoorlittleElfride,insteadofholding,asformerly,aplaceinhisreligion,begantoassumethehueofatemptation。PerhapsitwashumanandcorrectlynaturalthatKnightneveroncethoughtwhetherhedidnotoweheralittlesacrificeforheruncharydevotioninsavinghislife。 Withaconsciousnessofhavingthus,likeAntony,kissedawaykingdomsandprovinces,henextconsideredhowhehadrevealedhishighersecretsandintentionstoher,anunreservehewouldneverhaveallowedhimselfwithanymanliving。Howwasitthathehadnotbeenabletorefrainfromtellingherofadumbrationsheretoforelockedinthecloseststrongholdsofhismind? Knight\'swasarobustintellect,whichcouldescapeoutsidetheatmosphereofheart,andperceivethathisownlove,aswellasotherpeople\'s,couldbereducedbychangeofsceneandcircumstances。Atthesametimetheperceptionwasasuperimposedsorrow: \'Olastregret,regretcandie!\' Butbeingconvincedthatthedeathofthisregretwasthebestthingforhim,hedidnotlongshrinkfromattemptingit。Heclosedhischambers,suspendedhisconnectionwitheditors,andleftLondonfortheContinent。Herewewillleavehimtowanderwithoutpurpose,beyondthenominaloneofencouragingobliviousnessofElfride。 ChapterXXXVI \'Thepennie\'sthejewelthatbeautifiesa\'。\' \'Ican\'tthinkwhat\'scomingtotheseSt。Launce\'speopleatallatall。\' \'Withtheir\"How-d\'ye-do\'s,\"doyoumean?\' \'Ay,withtheir\"How-d\'ye-do\'s,\"andshakingofhands,askingmein,andtenderinquiriesforyou,John。\' ThesewordsformedpartofaconversationbetweenJohnSmithandhiswifeonaSaturdayeveninginthespringwhichfollowedKnight\'sdeparturefromEngland。StephenhadlongsincereturnedtoIndia;andtheperseveringcouplethemselveshadmigratedfromLordLuxellian\'sparkatEndelstowtoacomfortableroadsidedwellingaboutamileoutofSt。Launce\'s,whereJohnhadopenedasmallstoneandslateyardinhisownname。 \'Whenwecameheresixmonthsago,\'continuedMrs。Smith,\'thoughIhadpaidreadymoneysomanyyearsinthetown,myfriskiershopkeeperswouldonlyspeakoverthecounter。Meet\'eminthestreethalf-an-hourafter,andthey\'dtreatmewithstaringignoranceofmyface。\' \'Lookthroughyeasthroughaglasswinder?\' \'Yes,thebrazenoneswould。Thequietandcooloneswouldglanceoverthetopofmyhead,pastmyside,overmyshoulder,butnevermeetmyeye。Thegentle-modestwouldturntheirfacessouthifI werecomingeast,flitdownapassageifIwereabouttohalvethepavementwiththem。Therewasthespruceyoungbooksellerwouldplaythesametricks;thebutcher\'sdaughters;theupholsterer\'syoungmen。Handinglovewhendoingbusinessoutofsightwithyou;butcaringnothingfora\'oldwomanwhenplayingthegenteelawayfromallsignsoftheirtrade。\' \'Trueenough,Maria。\' \'Well,to-day\'tisalldifferent。I\'dnosoonergottomarketthanMrs。Joakesrusheduptomeintheeyesofthetownandsaid,\"MydearMrs。Smith,nowyoumustbetiredwithyourwalk!Comeinandhavesomelunch!Iinsistuponit;knowingyousomanyyearsasIhave!Don\'tyourememberwhenweusedtogolookingforowls\' featherstogetherintheCastleruins?\"There\'snoknowingwhatyoumayneed,soIansweredthewomancivilly。Ihadn\'tgottothecornerbeforethatthrivingyounglawyer,Sweet,who\'squitethedandy,ranaftermeoutofbreath。\"Mrs。Smith,\"hesays,\"excusemyrudeness,butthere\'sabrambleonthetailofyourdress,whichyou\'vedraggedinfromthecountry;allowmetopullitoffforyou。”Ifyou\'llbelieveme,thiswasintheveryfrontoftheTownHall。What\'sthemeaningofsuchsuddenlovefora\' oldwoman?\' \'Can\'tsay;unless\'tisrepentance。\' \'Repentance!wasthereeversuchafoolasyou。John?Didanybodyeverrepentwithmoneyin\'spocketandfiftyyearstolive?\' \'Now,I\'vebeenthinkingtoo,\'saidJohn,passingoverthequeryashardlypertinent,\'thatI\'vehadmoreloving-kindnessfromfolksto-daythanIeverhavebeforesincewemovedhere。Why,oldAldermanTopewalkedouttothemiddleofthestreetwhereI was,toshakehandswithme——so\'adid。Havingonmyworkingclothes,Ithought\'twasodd。Ay,andtherewasyoungWerrington。\' \'Who\'she?\' \'Why,themaninHillStreet,whoplaysandsellsflutes,trumpets,andfiddles,andgrandpehanners。HewastalkingtoEgloskerry,thatverysmallbachelor-manwithmoneyinthefunds。 Iwasgoingby,I\'msure,withoutthinkingorexpectinganodfrommenofthatglibkidneywheninmyworkingclothes——\' \'Youalwayswillgopokingintotowninyourworkingclothes。BegyoutochangehowIwill,\'tisnouse。\' \'Well,however,Iwasinmyworkingclothes。Werringtonsawme。 \"Ah,Mr。Smith!afinemorning;excellentweatherforbuilding,\" sayshe,outasloudandfriendlyasifI\'dmethiminsomedeephollow,wherehecouldgetnobodyelsetospeaktoatall。\'Twasodd:forWerringtonisoneoftheveryringleadersofthefastclass。\' Atthatmomentatapcametothedoor。ThedoorwasimmediatelyopenedbyMrs。Smithinperson。 \'You\'llexcuseus,I\'msure,Mrs。Smith,butthisbeautifulspringweatherwastoomuchforus。Yes,andwecouldstayinnolonger; andItookMrs。Trewenuponmyarmdirectlywe\'dhadacupoftea,andoutwecame。Andseeingyourbeautifulcrocusesinsuchabloom,we\'vetakenthelibertytoenter。We\'llsteproundthegarden,ifyoudon\'tmind。\' \'Notatall,\'saidMrs。Smith;andtheywalkedroundthegarden。 Sheliftedherhandsinamazementdirectlytheirbackswereturned。\'Goodnesssendusgrace!\' Whobethey?\'saidherhusband。 \'ActuallyMr。Trewen,thebank-manager,andhiswife。\' JohnSmith,staggeredinmind,wentoutofdoorsandlookedoverthegardengate,tocollecthisideas。Hehadnotbeentheretwominuteswhenwheelswereheard,andacarriageandpairrolledalongtheroad。Adistinguished-lookinglady,withthedemeanourofaduchess,reclinedwithin。WhenoppositeSmith\'sgatesheturnedherhead,andinstantlycommandedthecoachmantostop。 \'Ah,Mr。Smith,Iamgladtoseeyoulookingsowell。IcouldnothelpstoppingamomenttocongratulateyouandMrs。Smithuponthehappinessyoumustenjoy。Joseph,youmaydriveon。\' AndthecarriagerolledawaytowardsSt。Launce\'s。 OutrushedMrs。Smithfrombehindalaurel-bush,whereshehadstoodpondering。 \'Justgoingtotouchmyhattoher,\'saidJohn;\'justforalltheworldasIwouldhavetopoorLadyLuxellianyearsago。\' \'Lord!whoisshe?\' \'Thepublic-housewoman——what\'shername?Mrs——Mrs——attheFalcon。\' \'Public-housewoman。TheclumsinessoftheSmithfamily!YouMIGHTsaythelandladyoftheFalconHotel,sinceweareinforpoliteness。Thepeopleareridiculousenough,butgivethemtheirdue。\' ThepossibilityisthatMrs。Smithwasgettingmollified,inspiteofherself,bytheseremarkablyfriendlyphenomenaamongthepeopleofSt。Launce\'s。Andinjusticetothemitwasquitedesirablethatsheshoulddoso。Theinterestwhichtheunpractisedonesofthistownexpressedsogrotesquelywasgenuineofitskind,andequalinintrinsicworthtothemorepolishedsmilesoflargercommunities。 BythistimeMr。andMrs。Trewenwerereturningfromthegarden。 \'I\'llask\'emflat,\'whisperedJohntohiswife。\'I\'llsay,\"Webeinafog——you\'llexcusemyaskingaquestion,Mr。andMrs。 Trewen。Howisityouallbesofriendlyto-day?\"Hey?\'Twouldsoundrightandsensible,wouldn\'tit?\' \'Notaword!Goodmercy,whenwillthemanhavemanners!\' \'Itmustbeaproudmomentforyou,Iamsure,Mr。andMrs。Smith,tohaveasonsocelebrated,\'saidthebank-manageradvancing。 \'Ah,\'tisStephen——Iknewit!\'saidMrs。Smithtriumphantlytoherself。 \'Wedon\'tknowparticulars,\'saidJohn。 \'Notknow!\' \'No。\' \'Why,\'tisallovertown。OurworthyMayoralludedtoitinaspeechatthedinnerlastnightoftheEvery-Man-his-own-MakerClub。\' \'AndwhataboutStephen?\'urgedMrs。Smith。 \'Why,yoursonhasbeenfetedbydeputy-governorsandParseeprincesandnobody-knows-whoinIndia;ishandinglovewithnabobs,andistodesignalargepalace,andcathedral,andhospitals,colleges,halls,andfortifications,bythegeneralconsentoftherulingpowers,ChristianandPaganalike。\' \'\'Twassuretocometotheboy,\'saidMr。Smithunassumingly。 \'\'Tisinyesterday\'sSt。Launce\'sChronicle;andourworthyMayorinthechairintroducedthesubjectintohisspeechlastnightinamasterlymanner。\' \'\'TwasverygoodoftheworthyMayorinthechairI\'msure,\'saidStephen\'smother。\'Ihopetheboywillhavethesensetokeepwhathe\'sgot;butasformen,theyareasimplesex。Somewomanwillhookhim。\' \'Well,Mr。andMrs。Smith,theeveningclosesin,andwemustbegoing;andrememberthis,thateverySaturdaywhenyoucomeintomarket,youaretomakeourhouseasyourown。Therewillbealwaysatea-cupandsaucerforyou,asyouknowtherehasbeenformonths,thoughyoumayhaveforgottenit。I\'maplain- speakingwoman,andwhatIsayImean。\' Whenthevisitorsweregone,andthesunhadset,andthemoon\'srayswerejustbeginningtoassertthemselvesuponthewallsofthedwelling,JohnSmithandhiswifesatdawntothenewspapertheyhadhastilyprocuredfromthetown。Andwhenthereadingwasdone,theyconsideredhowbesttomeetthenewsocialrequirementssettlinguponthem,whichMrs。Smithconsideredcouldbedonebynewfurnitureandhouseenlargementalone。 \'And,John,mindonething,\'shesaidinconclusion。\'InwritingtoStephen,neverbyanymeansmentionthenameofElfrideSwancourtagain。We\'velefttheplace,andknownomoreaboutherexceptbyhearsay。Heseemstobegettingfreeofher,andgladamIforit。Itwasacloudyhourforhimwhenhefirstseteyesuponthegirl。Thatfamily\'sbeennogoodtohim,firstorlast; soletthemkeeptheirbloodtothemselvesiftheywantto。Hethinksofher,Iknow,butnotsohopelessly。Sodon\'ttrytoknowanythingabouther,andwecan\'tanswerhisquestions。Shemaydieoutofhismindthen。\' \'Thatshallbeit,\'saidJohn。 ChapterXXXVII \'Aftermanydays。\' Knightroamedsouth,undercolourofstudyingContinentalantiquities。 HepacedtheloftyaislesofAmiens,loiteredbyArdennesAbbey,climbedintothestrangetowersofLaon,analyzedNoyonandRheims。ThenhewenttoChartres,andexamineditsscalyspiresandquaintcarvingthenheidledaboutCoutances。HerowedbeneaththebaseofMontSt。Michel,andcaughtthevariedskylineofthecrumblingedificesencrustingit。St。Ouen\'s,Rouen,knewhimfordays;sodidVezelay,Sens,andmanyahallowedmonumentbesides。AbandoningtheinspectionofearlyFrenchartwiththesamepurposelesshasteashehadshowninundertakingit,hewentfurther,andlingeredaboutFerrara,Padua,andPisa。Satiatedwithmediaevalism,hetriedtheRomanForum。NextheobservedmoonlightandstarlighteffectsbythebayofNaples。HeturnedtoAustria,becameenervatedanddepressedonHungarianandBohemianplains,andwasrefreshedagainbybreezesonthedeclivitiesoftheCarpathians。 ThenhefoundhimselfinGreece。HevisitedtheplainofMarathon,andstrovetoimaginethePersiandefeat;toMarsHill,topictureSt。PauladdressingtheancientAthenians;toThermopylaeandSalamis,torunthroughthefactsandtraditionsoftheSecondInvasion——theresultofhisendeavoursbeingmoreorlesschaotic。Knightgrewaswearyoftheseplacesasofallothers。ThenhefelttheshockofanearthquakeintheIonianIslands,andwenttoVenice。HereheshotingondolasupanddownthewindingthoroughfareoftheGrandCanal,andloiteredoncalleandpiazzaatnight,whenthelaguneswereundisturbedbyaripple,andnosoundwastobeheardbutthestrokeofthemidnightclock。Afterwardsheremainedforweeksinthemuseums,galleries,andlibrariesofVienna,Berlin,andParis;andthencecamehome。 TimethusrollsusontoaFebruaryafternoon,dividedbyfifteenmonthsfromthepartingofElfrideandherloverinthebrownstubblefieldtowardsthesea。 TwomenobviouslynotLondoners,andwithatouchofforeignnessintheirlook,metbyaccidentononeofthegravelwalksleadingacrossHydePark。Theyounger,moregiventolookingabouthimthanhisfellow,sawandnoticedtheapproachofhisseniorsometimebeforethelatterhadraisedhiseyesfromtheground,uponwhichtheywerebentinanabstractedgazethatseemedhabitualwithhim。 \'Mr。Knight——indeeditis!\'exclaimedtheyoungerman。 \'Ah,StephenSmith!\'saidKnight。 Simultaneousoperationsmightnowhavebeenobservedprogressinginboth,theresultbeingthatanexpressionlessfrankandimpulsivethanthefirsttookpossessionoftheirfeatures。Itwasmanifestthatthenextwordsutteredwereasuperficialcoveringtoconstraintonbothsides。 \'HaveyoubeeninEnglandlong?\'saidKnight。 \'Onlytwodays,\'saidSmith。Indiaeversince?\' \'Nearlyeversince。\' \'TheyweremakingafussaboutyouatSt。Launce\'slastyear。I fancyIsawsomethingofthesortinthepapers。\' \'Yes;Ibelievesomethingwassaidaboutme。\' \'Imustcongratulateyouonyourachievements。\' \'Thanks,buttheyarenothingveryextraordinary。Anaturalprofessionalprogresswheretherewasnoopposition。\' Therefollowedthatwantofwordswhichwillalwaysassertitselfbetweennominalfriendswhofindtheyhaveceasedtoberealones,andhavenotyetsunktothelevelofmereacquaintance。EachlookedupanddownthePark。KnightmaypossiblyhaveborneinmindduringtheinterveningmonthsStephen\'smannertowardshimthelasttimetheyhadmet,andmayhaveencouragedhisformerinterestinStephen\'swelfaretodieoutofhimasmisplaced。 StephencertainlywasfullofthefeelingsbegottenbythebeliefthatKnighthadtakenawaythewomanhelovedsowell。 StephenSmiththenaskedaquestion,adoptingacertainrecklessnessofmannerandtonetohide,ifpossible,thefactthatthesubjectwasamuchgreateronetohimthanhisfriendhadeversupposed。 \'Areyoumarried?\' \'Iamnot。\' Knightspokeinanindescribabletoneofbitternessthatwasalmostmoroseness。 \'AndInevershallbe,\'headdeddecisively。\'Areyou?\' \'No,\'saidStephen,sadlyandquietly,likeamaninasick-room。 TotallyignorantwhetherornotKnightknewofhisownpreviousclaimsuponElfride,heyetresolvedtohazardafewmorewordsuponthetopicwhichhadanachingfascinationforhimevennow。 \'ThenyourengagementtoMissSwancourtcametonothing,\'hesaid。 \'YourememberImetyouwithheronce?\' Stephen\'svoicegavewayalittlehere,indefianceofhisfirmestwilltothecontrary。Indianaffairshadnotyetloweredthoseemotionsdowntothepointofcontrol。 \'Itwasbrokenoff,\'camequicklyfromKnight。\'Engagementstomarryoftenendlikethat——forbetterorforworse。\' \'Yes;sotheydo。Andwhathaveyoubeendoinglately?\' \'Doing?Nothing。\' \'Wherehaveyoubeen?\' \'Icanhardlytellyou。Inthemain,goingaboutEurope;anditmayperhapsinterestyoutoknowthatIhavebeenattemptingtheseriousstudyofContinentalartoftheMiddleAges。MynotesoneachexampleIvisitedareatyourservice。Theyareofnousetome。\' \'Ishallbegladwiththem……Oh,travellingfarandnear!\' \'Notfar,\'saidKnight,withmoodycarelessness。\'Youknow,I daresay,thatsheepoccasionallybecomegiddy——hydatidsinthehead,\'tiscalled,inwhichtheirbrainsbecomeeatenup,andtheanimalexhibitsthestrangepeculiarityofwalkingroundandroundinacirclecontinually。Ihavetravelledjustinthesameway—— roundandroundlikeagiddyram。\' Thereckless,bitter,andramblingstyleinwhichKnighttalked,asifrathertoventhisimagesthantoconveyanyideastoStephen,strucktheyoungmanpainfully。Hisformerfriend\'sdayshadbecomecankeredinsomeway:Knightwasachangedman。Hehimselfhadchangedmuch,butnotasKnighthadchanged。 \'YesterdayIcamehome,\'continuedKnight,\'withouthaving,tothebestofmybelief,imbibedhalf-a-dozenideasworthretaining。\' \'Youout-HamletHamletinmorbidnessofmood,\'saidStephen,withregretfulfrankness。 Knightmadenoreply。 \'Doyouknow,\'Stephencontinued,\'Icouldalmosthaveswornthatyouwouldbemarriedbeforethistime,fromwhatIsaw?\' Knight\'sfacegrewharder。\'Couldyou?\'hesaid。 Stephenwaspowerlesstoforsakethedepressing,luringsubject。 \'Yes;andIsimplywonderatit。\' \'Whomdidyouexpectmetomarry?\' \'HerIsawyouwith。\' \'Thankyouforthatwonder。\' \'Didshejiltyou?\' \'Smith,nowonewordtoyou,\'Knightreturnedsteadily。\'Don\'tyoueverquestionmeonthatsubject。Ihaveareasonformakingthisrequest,mind。Andifyoudoquestionme,youwillnotgetananswer。\' \'Oh,Idon\'tforamomentwishtoaskwhatisunpleasanttoyou—— notI。IhadamomentaryfeelingthatIshouldliketoexplainsomethingonmyside,andhearasimilarexplanationonyours。 Butletitgo,letitgo,byallmeans。\' \'Whatwouldyouexplain?\' \'IlostthewomanIwasgoingtomarry:youhavenotmarriedasyouintended。Wemighthavecomparednotes。\' \'Ihaveneveraskedyouawordaboutyourcase。\' \'Iknowthat。\' \'Andtheinferenceisobvious。\' \'Quiteso。\' \'Thetruthis,Stephen,Ihavedoggedlyresolvednevertoalludetothematter——forwhichIhaveaverygoodreason。\' \'Doubtless。Asgoodareasonasyouhadfornotmarryingher。\' \'Youtalkinsidiously。Ihadagoodone——amiserablygoodone!\' Smith\'sanxietyurgedhimtoventureonemorequestion。 \'Didshenotloveyouenough?\'Hedrewhisbreathinaslowandattenuatedstream,ashewaitedintimoroushopefortheanswer。 \'Stephen,youratherstrainordinarycourtesyinpressingquestionsofthatkindafterwhatIhavesaid。Icannotunderstandyouatall。Imustgoonnow。\' \'Why,goodGod!\'exclaimedStephenpassionately,\'youtalkasifyouhadn\'tatalltakenherawayfromanybodywhohadbetterclaimstoherthanyou!\' \'Whatdoyoumeanbythat?\'saidKnight,withapuzzledair。 \'Whathaveyouheard?\' \'Nothing。Itoomustgoon。Good-day。\' \'Ifyouwillgo,\'saidKnight,reluctantlynow,\'youmust,I suppose。IamsureIcannotunderstandwhyyoubehaveso。\' \'NorIwhyyoudo。Ihavealwaysbeengratefultoyou,andasfarasIamconcernedweneedneverhavebecomesoestrangedaswehave。\' \'AndhaveIeverbeenanythingbutwell-disposedtowardsyou,Stephen?SurelyyouknowthatIhavenot!Thesystemofreservebeganwithyou:youknowthat。\' \'No,no!Youaltogethermistakeourposition。Youwerealwaysfromthefirstreservedtome,thoughIwasconfidentialtoyou。 Thatwas,Isuppose,thenaturalissueofourdifferingpositionsinlife。AndwhenI,thepupil,becamereservedlikeyou,themaster,youdidnotlikeit。However,Iwasgoingtoaskyoutocomeroundandseeme。\' \'Whereareyoustaying?\' \'AttheGrosvenorHotel,Pimlico。\' \'SoamI。\' \'That\'sconvenient,nottosayodd。Well,IamdetainedinLondonforadayortwo;thenIamgoingdowntoseemyfatherandmother,wholiveatSt。Launce\'snow。Willyouseemethisevening?\' \'Imay;butIwillnotpromise。Iwaswishingtobealoneforanhourortwo;butIshallknowwheretofindyou,atanyrate。 Good-bye。\' ChapterXXXVIII \'Jealousyiscruelasthegrave。\' Stephenponderednotalittleonthismeetingwithhisoldfriendandonce-belovedexemplar。Hewasgrieved,foramidallthedistractionsofhislatteryearsastillsmallvoiceoffidelitytoKnighthadlingeredoninhim。PerhapsthisstaunchnesswasbecauseKnightevertreatedhimasameredisciple——eventosnubbinghimsometimes;andhadatlast,thoughunwittingly,inflicteduponhimthegreatestsnubofall,thatoftakingawayhissweetheart。Theemotionalsideofhisconstitutionwasbuiltratherafterafemininethanamalemodel;andthattremendouswoundfromKnight\'shandmayhavetendedtokeepaliveawarmthwhichsolicitousnesswouldhaveextinguishedaltogether。 Knight,onhispart,wasvexed,aftertheyhadparted,thathehadnottakenStepheninhandalittleaftertheoldmanner。ThosewordswhichSmithhadletfallconcerningsomebodyhavingapriorclaimtoElfride,would,ifutteredwhenthemanwasyounger,haveprovokedsuchaqueryas,\'Come,tellmeallaboutit,mylad,\' fromKnight,andStephenwouldstraightwayhavedeliveredhimselfofallheknewonthesubject。 Stephentheingenuousboy,thoughnowobliteratedexternallybyStephenthecontrivingman,returnedtoKnight\'smemoryvividlythatafternoon。HewasatpresentbutasojournerinLondon;andafterattendingtothetwoorthreemattersofbusinesswhichremainedtobedonethatday,hewalkedabstractedlyintothegloomycorridorsoftheBritishMuseumforthehalf-hourprevioustotheirclosing。ThatmeetingwithSmithhadreunitedthepresentwiththepast,closingupthechasmofhisabsencefromEnglandasifithadneverexisted,untilthefinalcircumstancesofhisprevioustimeofresidenceinLondonformedbutayesterdaytothecircumstancesnow。TheconflictthatthenhadragedinhimconcerningElfrideSwancourtrevived,strengthenedbyitssleep。 Indeed,inthosemanymonthsofabsence,thoughquellingtheintentiontomakeherhiswife,hehadneverforgottenthatshewasthetypeofwomanadaptedtohisnature;andinsteadoftryingtoobliteratethoughtsofheraltogether,hehadgrowntoregardthemasaninfirmityitwasnecessarytotolerate。 Knightreturnedtohishotelmuchearlierintheeveningthanhewouldhavedoneintheordinarycourseofthings。Hedidnotcaretothinkwhetherthisarosefromafriendlywishtoclosethegapthathadslowlybeenwideningbetweenhimselfandhisearliestacquaintance,orfromahankeringdesiretohearthemeaningofthedarkoraclesStephenhadhastilypronounced,betokeningthatheknewsomethingmoreofElfridethanKnighthadsupposed。 Hemadeahastydinner,inquiredforSmith,andsoonwasusheredintotheyoungman\'spresence,whomhefoundsittinginfrontofacomfortablefire,besideatablespreadwithafewscientificperiodicalsandartreviews。 \'Ihavecometoyou,afterall,\'saidKnight。\'Mymannerwasoddthismorning,anditseemeddesirabletocall;butthatyouhadtoomuchsensetonotice,Stephen,Iknow。PutitdowntomywanderingsinFranceandItaly。\' \'Don\'tsayanotherword,butsitdown。Iamonlytoogladtoseeyouagain。\' StephenwouldhardlyhavecaredtotellKnightjustthenthattheminutebeforeKnightwasannouncedhehadbeenreadingoversomeoldlettersofElfride\'s。Theywerenotmany;anduntilto-nighthadbeensealedup,andstowedawayinacornerofhisleathertrunk,withafewothermementoesandrelicswhichhadaccompaniedhiminhistravels。ThefamiliarsightsandsoundsofLondon,themeetingwithhisfriend,hadwithhimalsorevivedthatsenseofabidingcontinuitywithregardtoElfrideandlovewhichhisabsenceattheothersideoftheworldhadtosomeextentsuspended,thoughneverruptured。Heatfirstintendedonlytolookovertheselettersontheoutside;thenhereadone;thenanother;untilthewholewasthusre-usedasastimulustosadmemories。Hefoldedthemawayagain,placedtheminhispocket,andinsteadofgoingonwithanexaminationintothestateoftheartisticworld,hadremainedmusingonthestrangecircumstancethathehadreturnedtofindKnightnotthehusbandofElfrideafterall。 Thepossibilityofanygivengratificationbegetsacumulativesenseofitsnecessity。Stephengavethereintohisimagination,andfeltmoreintenselythanhehadfeltformanymonthsthat,withoutElfride,hislifewouldneverbeanygreatpleasuretohimself,orhonourtohisMaker。 Theysatbythefire,chattingonexternalandrandomsubjects,neithercaringtobethefirsttoapproachthemattereachmostlongedtodiscuss。Onthetablewiththeperiodicalslaytwoorthreepocket-books,oneofthembeingopen。Knightseeingfromtheexposedpagethatthecontentsweresketchesonly,beganturningtheleavesovercarelesslywithhisfinger。When,sometimelater,Stephenwasoutoftheroom,Knightproceededtopasstheintervalbylookingatthesketchesmorecarefully。 Thefirstcrudeideas,pertainingtodwellingsofallkinds,wereroughlyoutlinedonthedifferentpages。Antiquitieshadbeencopied;fragmentsofIndiancolumns,colossalstatues,andoutlandishornamentfromthetemplesofElephantaandKenneri,werecarelesslyintrudeduponbyoutlinesofmoderndoors,windows,roofs,cooking-stoves,andhouseholdfurniture; everything,inshort,whichcomeswithintherangeofapractisingarchitect\'sexperience,whotravelswithhiseyesopen。Amongtheseoccasionallyappearedroughdelineationsofmediaevalsubjectsforcarvingorillumination——headsofVirgins,Saints,andProphets。 Stephenwasnotprofessedlyafree-handdraughtsman,buthedrewthehumanfigurewithcorrectnessandskill。Initsnumerousrepetitionsonthesidesandedgesoftheleaves,Knightbegantonoticeapeculiarity。Allthefemininesaintshadonetypeoffeature。Therewerelargenimbiandsmallnimbiabouttheirdroopingheads,butthefacewasalwaysthesame。Thatprofile—— howwellKnightknewthatprofile! Hadtherebeenbutonespecimenofthefamiliarcountenance,hemighthavepassedovertheresemblanceasaccidental;butarepetitionmeantmore。KnightthoughtanewofSmith\'shastywordsearlierintheday,andlookedatthesketchesagainandagain。 Ontheyoungman\'sentry,Knightsaidwithpalpableagitation—— \'Stephen,whoarethoseintendedfor?\' Stephenlookedoverthebookwithutterunconcern,\'Saintsandangels,doneinmyleisuremoments。TheywereintendedasdesignsforthestainedglassofanEnglishchurch。\' \'ButwhomdoyouidealizebythattypeofwomanyoualwaysadoptfortheVirgin?\' \'Nobody。\' AndthenathoughtracedalongStephen\'smindandhelookedupathisfriend。 Thetruthis,Stephen\'sintroductionofElfride\'slineamentshadbeensounconsciousthathehadnotatfirstunderstoodhiscompanion\'sdrift。Thehand,likethetongue,easilyacquiresthetrickofrepetitionbyrote,withoutcallinginthemindtoassistatall;andthishadbeenthecasehere。YoungmenwhocannotwriteversesabouttheirLovesgenerallytaketoportrayingthem,andintheearlydaysofhisattachmentSmithhadneverbeenwearyofoutliningElfride。Thelay-figureofStephen\'ssketchesnowinitiatedanadjustmentofmanythings。Knighthadrecognizedher。Theopportunityofcomparingnoteshadcomeunsought。 \'ElfrideSwancourt,towhomIwasengaged,\'hesaidquietly。 \'Stephen!\' \'Iknowwhatyoumeanbyspeakinglikethat。\' \'WasitElfride?YOUtheman,Stephen?\' \'Yes;andyouarethinkingwhydidIconcealthefactfromyouthattimeatEndelstow,areyounot?\' \'Yes,andmore——more。\' \'Ididitforthebest;blamemeifyouwill;Ididitforthebest。AndnowsayhowcouldIbewithyouafterwardsasIhadbeenbefore?\' \'Idon\'tknowatall;Ican\'tsay。\' Knightremainedfixedinthought,andoncehemurmured—— \'Ihadasuspicionthisafternoonthattheremightbesomesuchmeaninginyourwordsaboutmytakingheraway。ButIdismissedit。Howcameyoutoknowher?\'hepresentlyasked,inalmostaperemptorytone。 \'Iwentdownaboutthechurch;yearsagonow。\'