\'No,Icannotsendyouaway:Icannot。Godknowswhatdarkfuturemayariseoutofthisevening\'swork;butIcannotsendyouaway!
Youmustsitdown,andIwillendeavourtocollectmythoughtsandseewhathadbetterbedone。
Atthatmomentaloudknockingatthehousedoorwasheardbyboth,accompaniedbyahurriedringingofthebellthatechoedfromattictobasement。Thedoorwasquicklyopened,andafterafewhastywordsofconverseinthehall,heavyfootstepsascendedthestairs。
ThefaceofMr。Swancourt,flushed,grieved,andstern,appearedroundthelandingofthestaircase。Hecamehigherup,andstoodbesidethem。GlancingoverandpastKnightwithsilentindignation,heturnedtothetremblinggirl。
\'OElfride!andhaveIfoundyouatlast?Aretheseyourtricks,madam?Whenwillyougetridofyouridiocies,andconductyourselflikeadecentwoman?Ismyfamilynameandhousetobedisgracedbyactsthatwouldbeascandaltoawasherwoman\'sdaughter?Comealong,madam;come!\'
\'Sheissoweary!\'saidKnight,inavoiceofintensestanguish。
\'Mr。Swancourt,don\'tbeharshwithher——letmebegofyoutobetenderwithher,andloveher!\'
\'Toyou,sir,\'saidMr。Swancourt,turningtohimasifbythesheerpressureofcircumstances,\'Ihavelittletosay。Icanonlyremark,thatthesoonerIcanretirefromyourpresencethebetterIshallbepleased。Whyyoucouldnotconductyourcourtshipofmydaughterlikeanhonestman,Idonotknow。Whyshe——afoolishinexperiencedgirl——shouldhavebeentemptedtothispieceoffolly,Idonotknow。Evenifshehadnotknownbetterthantoleaveherhome,youmighthave,Ishouldthink。\'
\'Itisnothisfault:hedidnottemptme,papa!Icame。\'
\'Ifyouwishedthemarriagebrokenoff,whydidn\'tyousaysoplainly?Ifyouneverintendedtomarry,whycouldyounotleaveheralone?Uponmysoul,itgratesmetothehearttobeobligedtothinksoillofamanIthoughtmyfriend!\'
Knight,soul-sickandwearyofhislife,didnotarousehimselftoutterawordinreply。HowshouldhedefendhimselfwhenhisdefencewastheaccusationofElfride?Onthataccounthefeltamiserablesatisfactioninlettingherfathergoonthinkingandspeakingwrongfully。Itwasafaintrayofpleasurestrayingintothegreatgloominessofhisbraintothinkthatthevicarmightneverknowbutthathe,asherlover,temptedheraway,whichseemedtobetheformMr。Swancourt\'smisapprehensionhadtaken。
\'Now,areyoucoming?\'saidMr。Swancourttoheragain。Hetookherunresistinghand,drewitwithinhisarm,andledherdownthestairs。Knight\'seyesfollowedher,thelastmomentbegettinginhimafrantichopethatshewouldturnherhead。Shepassedon,andneverlookedback。
Heheardthedooropen——closeagain。Thewheelsofacabgrazedthekerbstone,amurmureddirectionfollowed。Thedoorwasslammedtogether,thewheelsmoved,andtheyrolledaway。
FromthathourofherreappearanceadreadfulconflictragedwithinthebreastofHenryKnight。Hisinstinct,emotion,affectiveness——orwhateveritmaybecalled——urgedhimtostandforward,seizeuponElfride,andbehercherisherandprotectorthroughlife。ThencamethedevastatingthoughtthatElfride\'schildlike,unreasoning,andindiscreetactinflyingtohimonlyprovedthattheproprietiesmustbeadeadletterwithher;thattheunreserve,whichwasreallyartlessnesswithoutballast,meantindifferencetodecorum;andwhatsolikelyasthatsuchawomanhadbeendeceivedinthepast?Hesaidtohimself,inamoodofthebitterestcynicism:\'Thesuspiciousdiscreetwomanwhoimaginesdarkandevilthingsofallherfellow-creaturesisfartooshrewdtobedeludedbyman:trustingbeingslikeElfridearethewomenwhofall。\'
Hoursanddayswentby,andKnightremainedinactive。Lengtheningtime,whichmadefaintertheheart-awakeningpowerofherpresence,strengthenedthementalabilitytoreasonherdown。
Elfridelovedhim,heknew,andhecouldnotleaveofflovingherbutmarryherhewouldnot。IfshecouldbutbeagainhisownElfride——thewomanshehadseemedtobe——butthatwomanwasdeadandburied,andheknewhernomore!AndhowcouldhemarrythisElfride,onewho,ifhehadoriginallyseenherasshewas,wouldhavebeenbarelyaninterestingpitiableacquaintanceinhiseyes——
nomore?
Itcankeredhishearttothinkhewasconfrontedbytheclosestinstanceofaworsestateofthingsthananyhehadassumedinthepleasantsocialphilosophyandsatireofhisessays。
Themoralrightnessofthisman\'slifewasworthyofallpraise;
butinspiteofsomeintellectualacumen,Knighthadinhimamodicumofthatwrongheadednesswhichismostlyfoundinscrupulouslyhonestpeople。Withhim,truthseemedtoocleanandpureanabstractiontobesohopelesslychurnedinwitherroraspracticalpersonsfindit。HavingnowseenhimselfmistakeninsupposingElfridetobepeerless,nothingonearthcouldmakehimbelieveshewasnotsoverybadafterall。
Helingeredintownafortnight,doinglittleelsethanvibratebetweenpassionandopinions。Oneidearemainedintact——thatitwasbetterElfrideandhimselfshouldnotmeet。
Whenhesurveyedthevolumesonhisshelves——fewofwhichhadbeenopenedsinceElfridefirsttookpossessionofhisheart——theiruntouchedandorderlyarrangementreproachedhimasanapostatefromtheoldfaithofhisyouthandearlymanhood。Hehaddesertedthosenever-failingfriends,sotheyseemedtosay,foranunstabledelightinaductilewoman,whichhadendedallinbitterness。Thespiritofself-denial,vergingonasceticism,whichhadeveranimatedKnightinoldtimes,announceditselfashavingdepartedwiththebirthoflove,withithavinggonetheself-respectwhichhadcompensatedforthelackofself-
gratification。PoorlittleElfride,insteadofholding,asformerly,aplaceinhisreligion,begantoassumethehueofatemptation。PerhapsitwashumanandcorrectlynaturalthatKnightneveroncethoughtwhetherhedidnotoweheralittlesacrificeforheruncharydevotioninsavinghislife。
Withaconsciousnessofhavingthus,likeAntony,kissedawaykingdomsandprovinces,henextconsideredhowhehadrevealedhishighersecretsandintentionstoher,anunreservehewouldneverhaveallowedhimselfwithanymanliving。Howwasitthathehadnotbeenabletorefrainfromtellingherofadumbrationsheretoforelockedinthecloseststrongholdsofhismind?
Knight\'swasarobustintellect,whichcouldescapeoutsidetheatmosphereofheart,andperceivethathisownlove,aswellasotherpeople\'s,couldbereducedbychangeofsceneandcircumstances。Atthesametimetheperceptionwasasuperimposedsorrow:
\'Olastregret,regretcandie!\'
Butbeingconvincedthatthedeathofthisregretwasthebestthingforhim,hedidnotlongshrinkfromattemptingit。Heclosedhischambers,suspendedhisconnectionwitheditors,andleftLondonfortheContinent。Herewewillleavehimtowanderwithoutpurpose,beyondthenominaloneofencouragingobliviousnessofElfride。
ChapterXXXVI
\'Thepennie\'sthejewelthatbeautifiesa\'。\'
\'Ican\'tthinkwhat\'scomingtotheseSt。Launce\'speopleatallatall。\'
\'Withtheir\"How-d\'ye-do\'s,\"doyoumean?\'
\'Ay,withtheir\"How-d\'ye-do\'s,\"andshakingofhands,askingmein,andtenderinquiriesforyou,John。\'
ThesewordsformedpartofaconversationbetweenJohnSmithandhiswifeonaSaturdayeveninginthespringwhichfollowedKnight\'sdeparturefromEngland。StephenhadlongsincereturnedtoIndia;andtheperseveringcouplethemselveshadmigratedfromLordLuxellian\'sparkatEndelstowtoacomfortableroadsidedwellingaboutamileoutofSt。Launce\'s,whereJohnhadopenedasmallstoneandslateyardinhisownname。
\'Whenwecameheresixmonthsago,\'continuedMrs。Smith,\'thoughIhadpaidreadymoneysomanyyearsinthetown,myfriskiershopkeeperswouldonlyspeakoverthecounter。Meet\'eminthestreethalf-an-hourafter,andthey\'dtreatmewithstaringignoranceofmyface。\'
\'Lookthroughyeasthroughaglasswinder?\'
\'Yes,thebrazenoneswould。Thequietandcooloneswouldglanceoverthetopofmyhead,pastmyside,overmyshoulder,butnevermeetmyeye。Thegentle-modestwouldturntheirfacessouthifI
werecomingeast,flitdownapassageifIwereabouttohalvethepavementwiththem。Therewasthespruceyoungbooksellerwouldplaythesametricks;thebutcher\'sdaughters;theupholsterer\'syoungmen。Handinglovewhendoingbusinessoutofsightwithyou;butcaringnothingfora\'oldwomanwhenplayingthegenteelawayfromallsignsoftheirtrade。\'
\'Trueenough,Maria。\'
\'Well,to-day\'tisalldifferent。I\'dnosoonergottomarketthanMrs。Joakesrusheduptomeintheeyesofthetownandsaid,\"MydearMrs。Smith,nowyoumustbetiredwithyourwalk!Comeinandhavesomelunch!Iinsistuponit;knowingyousomanyyearsasIhave!Don\'tyourememberwhenweusedtogolookingforowls\'
featherstogetherintheCastleruins?\"There\'snoknowingwhatyoumayneed,soIansweredthewomancivilly。Ihadn\'tgottothecornerbeforethatthrivingyounglawyer,Sweet,who\'squitethedandy,ranaftermeoutofbreath。\"Mrs。Smith,\"hesays,\"excusemyrudeness,butthere\'sabrambleonthetailofyourdress,whichyou\'vedraggedinfromthecountry;allowmetopullitoffforyou。”Ifyou\'llbelieveme,thiswasintheveryfrontoftheTownHall。What\'sthemeaningofsuchsuddenlovefora\'
oldwoman?\'
\'Can\'tsay;unless\'tisrepentance。\'
\'Repentance!wasthereeversuchafoolasyou。John?Didanybodyeverrepentwithmoneyin\'spocketandfiftyyearstolive?\'
\'Now,I\'vebeenthinkingtoo,\'saidJohn,passingoverthequeryashardlypertinent,\'thatI\'vehadmoreloving-kindnessfromfolksto-daythanIeverhavebeforesincewemovedhere。Why,oldAldermanTopewalkedouttothemiddleofthestreetwhereI
was,toshakehandswithme——so\'adid。Havingonmyworkingclothes,Ithought\'twasodd。Ay,andtherewasyoungWerrington。\'
\'Who\'she?\'
\'Why,themaninHillStreet,whoplaysandsellsflutes,trumpets,andfiddles,andgrandpehanners。HewastalkingtoEgloskerry,thatverysmallbachelor-manwithmoneyinthefunds。
Iwasgoingby,I\'msure,withoutthinkingorexpectinganodfrommenofthatglibkidneywheninmyworkingclothes——\'
\'Youalwayswillgopokingintotowninyourworkingclothes。BegyoutochangehowIwill,\'tisnouse。\'
\'Well,however,Iwasinmyworkingclothes。Werringtonsawme。
\"Ah,Mr。Smith!afinemorning;excellentweatherforbuilding,\"
sayshe,outasloudandfriendlyasifI\'dmethiminsomedeephollow,wherehecouldgetnobodyelsetospeaktoatall。\'Twasodd:forWerringtonisoneoftheveryringleadersofthefastclass。\'
Atthatmomentatapcametothedoor。ThedoorwasimmediatelyopenedbyMrs。Smithinperson。
\'You\'llexcuseus,I\'msure,Mrs。Smith,butthisbeautifulspringweatherwastoomuchforus。Yes,andwecouldstayinnolonger;
andItookMrs。Trewenuponmyarmdirectlywe\'dhadacupoftea,andoutwecame。Andseeingyourbeautifulcrocusesinsuchabloom,we\'vetakenthelibertytoenter。We\'llsteproundthegarden,ifyoudon\'tmind。\'
\'Notatall,\'saidMrs。Smith;andtheywalkedroundthegarden。
Sheliftedherhandsinamazementdirectlytheirbackswereturned。\'Goodnesssendusgrace!\'
Whobethey?\'saidherhusband。
\'ActuallyMr。Trewen,thebank-manager,andhiswife。\'
JohnSmith,staggeredinmind,wentoutofdoorsandlookedoverthegardengate,tocollecthisideas。Hehadnotbeentheretwominuteswhenwheelswereheard,andacarriageandpairrolledalongtheroad。Adistinguished-lookinglady,withthedemeanourofaduchess,reclinedwithin。WhenoppositeSmith\'sgatesheturnedherhead,andinstantlycommandedthecoachmantostop。
\'Ah,Mr。Smith,Iamgladtoseeyoulookingsowell。IcouldnothelpstoppingamomenttocongratulateyouandMrs。Smithuponthehappinessyoumustenjoy。Joseph,youmaydriveon。\'
AndthecarriagerolledawaytowardsSt。Launce\'s。
OutrushedMrs。Smithfrombehindalaurel-bush,whereshehadstoodpondering。
\'Justgoingtotouchmyhattoher,\'saidJohn;\'justforalltheworldasIwouldhavetopoorLadyLuxellianyearsago。\'
\'Lord!whoisshe?\'
\'Thepublic-housewoman——what\'shername?Mrs——Mrs——attheFalcon。\'
\'Public-housewoman。TheclumsinessoftheSmithfamily!YouMIGHTsaythelandladyoftheFalconHotel,sinceweareinforpoliteness。Thepeopleareridiculousenough,butgivethemtheirdue。\'
ThepossibilityisthatMrs。Smithwasgettingmollified,inspiteofherself,bytheseremarkablyfriendlyphenomenaamongthepeopleofSt。Launce\'s。Andinjusticetothemitwasquitedesirablethatsheshoulddoso。Theinterestwhichtheunpractisedonesofthistownexpressedsogrotesquelywasgenuineofitskind,andequalinintrinsicworthtothemorepolishedsmilesoflargercommunities。
BythistimeMr。andMrs。Trewenwerereturningfromthegarden。
\'I\'llask\'emflat,\'whisperedJohntohiswife。\'I\'llsay,\"Webeinafog——you\'llexcusemyaskingaquestion,Mr。andMrs。
Trewen。Howisityouallbesofriendlyto-day?\"Hey?\'Twouldsoundrightandsensible,wouldn\'tit?\'
\'Notaword!Goodmercy,whenwillthemanhavemanners!\'
\'Itmustbeaproudmomentforyou,Iamsure,Mr。andMrs。Smith,tohaveasonsocelebrated,\'saidthebank-manageradvancing。
\'Ah,\'tisStephen——Iknewit!\'saidMrs。Smithtriumphantlytoherself。
\'Wedon\'tknowparticulars,\'saidJohn。
\'Notknow!\'
\'No。\'
\'Why,\'tisallovertown。OurworthyMayoralludedtoitinaspeechatthedinnerlastnightoftheEvery-Man-his-own-MakerClub。\'
\'AndwhataboutStephen?\'urgedMrs。Smith。
\'Why,yoursonhasbeenfetedbydeputy-governorsandParseeprincesandnobody-knows-whoinIndia;ishandinglovewithnabobs,andistodesignalargepalace,andcathedral,andhospitals,colleges,halls,andfortifications,bythegeneralconsentoftherulingpowers,ChristianandPaganalike。\'
\'\'Twassuretocometotheboy,\'saidMr。Smithunassumingly。
\'\'Tisinyesterday\'sSt。Launce\'sChronicle;andourworthyMayorinthechairintroducedthesubjectintohisspeechlastnightinamasterlymanner。\'
\'\'TwasverygoodoftheworthyMayorinthechairI\'msure,\'saidStephen\'smother。\'Ihopetheboywillhavethesensetokeepwhathe\'sgot;butasformen,theyareasimplesex。Somewomanwillhookhim。\'
\'Well,Mr。andMrs。Smith,theeveningclosesin,andwemustbegoing;andrememberthis,thateverySaturdaywhenyoucomeintomarket,youaretomakeourhouseasyourown。Therewillbealwaysatea-cupandsaucerforyou,asyouknowtherehasbeenformonths,thoughyoumayhaveforgottenit。I\'maplain-
speakingwoman,andwhatIsayImean。\'
Whenthevisitorsweregone,andthesunhadset,andthemoon\'srayswerejustbeginningtoassertthemselvesuponthewallsofthedwelling,JohnSmithandhiswifesatdawntothenewspapertheyhadhastilyprocuredfromthetown。Andwhenthereadingwasdone,theyconsideredhowbesttomeetthenewsocialrequirementssettlinguponthem,whichMrs。Smithconsideredcouldbedonebynewfurnitureandhouseenlargementalone。
\'And,John,mindonething,\'shesaidinconclusion。\'InwritingtoStephen,neverbyanymeansmentionthenameofElfrideSwancourtagain。We\'velefttheplace,andknownomoreaboutherexceptbyhearsay。Heseemstobegettingfreeofher,andgladamIforit。Itwasacloudyhourforhimwhenhefirstseteyesuponthegirl。Thatfamily\'sbeennogoodtohim,firstorlast;
soletthemkeeptheirbloodtothemselvesiftheywantto。Hethinksofher,Iknow,butnotsohopelessly。Sodon\'ttrytoknowanythingabouther,andwecan\'tanswerhisquestions。Shemaydieoutofhismindthen。\'
\'Thatshallbeit,\'saidJohn。
ChapterXXXVII
\'Aftermanydays。\'
Knightroamedsouth,undercolourofstudyingContinentalantiquities。
HepacedtheloftyaislesofAmiens,loiteredbyArdennesAbbey,climbedintothestrangetowersofLaon,analyzedNoyonandRheims。ThenhewenttoChartres,andexamineditsscalyspiresandquaintcarvingthenheidledaboutCoutances。HerowedbeneaththebaseofMontSt。Michel,andcaughtthevariedskylineofthecrumblingedificesencrustingit。St。Ouen\'s,Rouen,knewhimfordays;sodidVezelay,Sens,andmanyahallowedmonumentbesides。AbandoningtheinspectionofearlyFrenchartwiththesamepurposelesshasteashehadshowninundertakingit,hewentfurther,andlingeredaboutFerrara,Padua,andPisa。Satiatedwithmediaevalism,hetriedtheRomanForum。NextheobservedmoonlightandstarlighteffectsbythebayofNaples。HeturnedtoAustria,becameenervatedanddepressedonHungarianandBohemianplains,andwasrefreshedagainbybreezesonthedeclivitiesoftheCarpathians。
ThenhefoundhimselfinGreece。HevisitedtheplainofMarathon,andstrovetoimaginethePersiandefeat;toMarsHill,topictureSt。PauladdressingtheancientAthenians;toThermopylaeandSalamis,torunthroughthefactsandtraditionsoftheSecondInvasion——theresultofhisendeavoursbeingmoreorlesschaotic。Knightgrewaswearyoftheseplacesasofallothers。ThenhefelttheshockofanearthquakeintheIonianIslands,andwenttoVenice。HereheshotingondolasupanddownthewindingthoroughfareoftheGrandCanal,andloiteredoncalleandpiazzaatnight,whenthelaguneswereundisturbedbyaripple,andnosoundwastobeheardbutthestrokeofthemidnightclock。Afterwardsheremainedforweeksinthemuseums,galleries,andlibrariesofVienna,Berlin,andParis;andthencecamehome。
TimethusrollsusontoaFebruaryafternoon,dividedbyfifteenmonthsfromthepartingofElfrideandherloverinthebrownstubblefieldtowardsthesea。
TwomenobviouslynotLondoners,andwithatouchofforeignnessintheirlook,metbyaccidentononeofthegravelwalksleadingacrossHydePark。Theyounger,moregiventolookingabouthimthanhisfellow,sawandnoticedtheapproachofhisseniorsometimebeforethelatterhadraisedhiseyesfromtheground,uponwhichtheywerebentinanabstractedgazethatseemedhabitualwithhim。
\'Mr。Knight——indeeditis!\'exclaimedtheyoungerman。
\'Ah,StephenSmith!\'saidKnight。
Simultaneousoperationsmightnowhavebeenobservedprogressinginboth,theresultbeingthatanexpressionlessfrankandimpulsivethanthefirsttookpossessionoftheirfeatures。Itwasmanifestthatthenextwordsutteredwereasuperficialcoveringtoconstraintonbothsides。
\'HaveyoubeeninEnglandlong?\'saidKnight。
\'Onlytwodays,\'saidSmith。Indiaeversince?\'
\'Nearlyeversince。\'
\'TheyweremakingafussaboutyouatSt。Launce\'slastyear。I
fancyIsawsomethingofthesortinthepapers。\'
\'Yes;Ibelievesomethingwassaidaboutme。\'
\'Imustcongratulateyouonyourachievements。\'
\'Thanks,buttheyarenothingveryextraordinary。Anaturalprofessionalprogresswheretherewasnoopposition。\'
Therefollowedthatwantofwordswhichwillalwaysassertitselfbetweennominalfriendswhofindtheyhaveceasedtoberealones,andhavenotyetsunktothelevelofmereacquaintance。EachlookedupanddownthePark。KnightmaypossiblyhaveborneinmindduringtheinterveningmonthsStephen\'smannertowardshimthelasttimetheyhadmet,andmayhaveencouragedhisformerinterestinStephen\'swelfaretodieoutofhimasmisplaced。
StephencertainlywasfullofthefeelingsbegottenbythebeliefthatKnighthadtakenawaythewomanhelovedsowell。
StephenSmiththenaskedaquestion,adoptingacertainrecklessnessofmannerandtonetohide,ifpossible,thefactthatthesubjectwasamuchgreateronetohimthanhisfriendhadeversupposed。
\'Areyoumarried?\'
\'Iamnot。\'
Knightspokeinanindescribabletoneofbitternessthatwasalmostmoroseness。
\'AndInevershallbe,\'headdeddecisively。\'Areyou?\'
\'No,\'saidStephen,sadlyandquietly,likeamaninasick-room。
TotallyignorantwhetherornotKnightknewofhisownpreviousclaimsuponElfride,heyetresolvedtohazardafewmorewordsuponthetopicwhichhadanachingfascinationforhimevennow。
\'ThenyourengagementtoMissSwancourtcametonothing,\'hesaid。
\'YourememberImetyouwithheronce?\'
Stephen\'svoicegavewayalittlehere,indefianceofhisfirmestwilltothecontrary。Indianaffairshadnotyetloweredthoseemotionsdowntothepointofcontrol。
\'Itwasbrokenoff,\'camequicklyfromKnight。\'Engagementstomarryoftenendlikethat——forbetterorforworse。\'
\'Yes;sotheydo。Andwhathaveyoubeendoinglately?\'
\'Doing?Nothing。\'
\'Wherehaveyoubeen?\'
\'Icanhardlytellyou。Inthemain,goingaboutEurope;anditmayperhapsinterestyoutoknowthatIhavebeenattemptingtheseriousstudyofContinentalartoftheMiddleAges。MynotesoneachexampleIvisitedareatyourservice。Theyareofnousetome。\'
\'Ishallbegladwiththem……Oh,travellingfarandnear!\'
\'Notfar,\'saidKnight,withmoodycarelessness。\'Youknow,I
daresay,thatsheepoccasionallybecomegiddy——hydatidsinthehead,\'tiscalled,inwhichtheirbrainsbecomeeatenup,andtheanimalexhibitsthestrangepeculiarityofwalkingroundandroundinacirclecontinually。Ihavetravelledjustinthesameway——
roundandroundlikeagiddyram。\'
Thereckless,bitter,andramblingstyleinwhichKnighttalked,asifrathertoventhisimagesthantoconveyanyideastoStephen,strucktheyoungmanpainfully。Hisformerfriend\'sdayshadbecomecankeredinsomeway:Knightwasachangedman。Hehimselfhadchangedmuch,butnotasKnighthadchanged。
\'YesterdayIcamehome,\'continuedKnight,\'withouthaving,tothebestofmybelief,imbibedhalf-a-dozenideasworthretaining。\'
\'Youout-HamletHamletinmorbidnessofmood,\'saidStephen,withregretfulfrankness。
Knightmadenoreply。
\'Doyouknow,\'Stephencontinued,\'Icouldalmosthaveswornthatyouwouldbemarriedbeforethistime,fromwhatIsaw?\'
Knight\'sfacegrewharder。\'Couldyou?\'hesaid。
Stephenwaspowerlesstoforsakethedepressing,luringsubject。
\'Yes;andIsimplywonderatit。\'
\'Whomdidyouexpectmetomarry?\'
\'HerIsawyouwith。\'
\'Thankyouforthatwonder。\'
\'Didshejiltyou?\'
\'Smith,nowonewordtoyou,\'Knightreturnedsteadily。\'Don\'tyoueverquestionmeonthatsubject。Ihaveareasonformakingthisrequest,mind。Andifyoudoquestionme,youwillnotgetananswer。\'
\'Oh,Idon\'tforamomentwishtoaskwhatisunpleasanttoyou——
notI。IhadamomentaryfeelingthatIshouldliketoexplainsomethingonmyside,andhearasimilarexplanationonyours。
Butletitgo,letitgo,byallmeans。\'
\'Whatwouldyouexplain?\'
\'IlostthewomanIwasgoingtomarry:youhavenotmarriedasyouintended。Wemighthavecomparednotes。\'
\'Ihaveneveraskedyouawordaboutyourcase。\'
\'Iknowthat。\'
\'Andtheinferenceisobvious。\'
\'Quiteso。\'
\'Thetruthis,Stephen,Ihavedoggedlyresolvednevertoalludetothematter——forwhichIhaveaverygoodreason。\'
\'Doubtless。Asgoodareasonasyouhadfornotmarryingher。\'
\'Youtalkinsidiously。Ihadagoodone——amiserablygoodone!\'
Smith\'sanxietyurgedhimtoventureonemorequestion。
\'Didshenotloveyouenough?\'Hedrewhisbreathinaslowandattenuatedstream,ashewaitedintimoroushopefortheanswer。
\'Stephen,youratherstrainordinarycourtesyinpressingquestionsofthatkindafterwhatIhavesaid。Icannotunderstandyouatall。Imustgoonnow。\'
\'Why,goodGod!\'exclaimedStephenpassionately,\'youtalkasifyouhadn\'tatalltakenherawayfromanybodywhohadbetterclaimstoherthanyou!\'
\'Whatdoyoumeanbythat?\'saidKnight,withapuzzledair。
\'Whathaveyouheard?\'
\'Nothing。Itoomustgoon。Good-day。\'
\'Ifyouwillgo,\'saidKnight,reluctantlynow,\'youmust,I
suppose。IamsureIcannotunderstandwhyyoubehaveso。\'
\'NorIwhyyoudo。Ihavealwaysbeengratefultoyou,andasfarasIamconcernedweneedneverhavebecomesoestrangedaswehave。\'
\'AndhaveIeverbeenanythingbutwell-disposedtowardsyou,Stephen?SurelyyouknowthatIhavenot!Thesystemofreservebeganwithyou:youknowthat。\'
\'No,no!Youaltogethermistakeourposition。Youwerealwaysfromthefirstreservedtome,thoughIwasconfidentialtoyou。
Thatwas,Isuppose,thenaturalissueofourdifferingpositionsinlife。AndwhenI,thepupil,becamereservedlikeyou,themaster,youdidnotlikeit。However,Iwasgoingtoaskyoutocomeroundandseeme。\'
\'Whereareyoustaying?\'
\'AttheGrosvenorHotel,Pimlico。\'
\'SoamI。\'
\'That\'sconvenient,nottosayodd。Well,IamdetainedinLondonforadayortwo;thenIamgoingdowntoseemyfatherandmother,wholiveatSt。Launce\'snow。Willyouseemethisevening?\'
\'Imay;butIwillnotpromise。Iwaswishingtobealoneforanhourortwo;butIshallknowwheretofindyou,atanyrate。
Good-bye。\'
ChapterXXXVIII
\'Jealousyiscruelasthegrave。\'
Stephenponderednotalittleonthismeetingwithhisoldfriendandonce-belovedexemplar。Hewasgrieved,foramidallthedistractionsofhislatteryearsastillsmallvoiceoffidelitytoKnighthadlingeredoninhim。PerhapsthisstaunchnesswasbecauseKnightevertreatedhimasameredisciple——eventosnubbinghimsometimes;andhadatlast,thoughunwittingly,inflicteduponhimthegreatestsnubofall,thatoftakingawayhissweetheart。Theemotionalsideofhisconstitutionwasbuiltratherafterafemininethanamalemodel;andthattremendouswoundfromKnight\'shandmayhavetendedtokeepaliveawarmthwhichsolicitousnesswouldhaveextinguishedaltogether。
Knight,onhispart,wasvexed,aftertheyhadparted,thathehadnottakenStepheninhandalittleaftertheoldmanner。ThosewordswhichSmithhadletfallconcerningsomebodyhavingapriorclaimtoElfride,would,ifutteredwhenthemanwasyounger,haveprovokedsuchaqueryas,\'Come,tellmeallaboutit,mylad,\'
fromKnight,andStephenwouldstraightwayhavedeliveredhimselfofallheknewonthesubject。
Stephentheingenuousboy,thoughnowobliteratedexternallybyStephenthecontrivingman,returnedtoKnight\'smemoryvividlythatafternoon。HewasatpresentbutasojournerinLondon;andafterattendingtothetwoorthreemattersofbusinesswhichremainedtobedonethatday,hewalkedabstractedlyintothegloomycorridorsoftheBritishMuseumforthehalf-hourprevioustotheirclosing。ThatmeetingwithSmithhadreunitedthepresentwiththepast,closingupthechasmofhisabsencefromEnglandasifithadneverexisted,untilthefinalcircumstancesofhisprevioustimeofresidenceinLondonformedbutayesterdaytothecircumstancesnow。TheconflictthatthenhadragedinhimconcerningElfrideSwancourtrevived,strengthenedbyitssleep。
Indeed,inthosemanymonthsofabsence,thoughquellingtheintentiontomakeherhiswife,hehadneverforgottenthatshewasthetypeofwomanadaptedtohisnature;andinsteadoftryingtoobliteratethoughtsofheraltogether,hehadgrowntoregardthemasaninfirmityitwasnecessarytotolerate。
Knightreturnedtohishotelmuchearlierintheeveningthanhewouldhavedoneintheordinarycourseofthings。Hedidnotcaretothinkwhetherthisarosefromafriendlywishtoclosethegapthathadslowlybeenwideningbetweenhimselfandhisearliestacquaintance,orfromahankeringdesiretohearthemeaningofthedarkoraclesStephenhadhastilypronounced,betokeningthatheknewsomethingmoreofElfridethanKnighthadsupposed。
Hemadeahastydinner,inquiredforSmith,andsoonwasusheredintotheyoungman\'spresence,whomhefoundsittinginfrontofacomfortablefire,besideatablespreadwithafewscientificperiodicalsandartreviews。
\'Ihavecometoyou,afterall,\'saidKnight。\'Mymannerwasoddthismorning,anditseemeddesirabletocall;butthatyouhadtoomuchsensetonotice,Stephen,Iknow。PutitdowntomywanderingsinFranceandItaly。\'
\'Don\'tsayanotherword,butsitdown。Iamonlytoogladtoseeyouagain。\'
StephenwouldhardlyhavecaredtotellKnightjustthenthattheminutebeforeKnightwasannouncedhehadbeenreadingoversomeoldlettersofElfride\'s。Theywerenotmany;anduntilto-nighthadbeensealedup,andstowedawayinacornerofhisleathertrunk,withafewothermementoesandrelicswhichhadaccompaniedhiminhistravels。ThefamiliarsightsandsoundsofLondon,themeetingwithhisfriend,hadwithhimalsorevivedthatsenseofabidingcontinuitywithregardtoElfrideandlovewhichhisabsenceattheothersideoftheworldhadtosomeextentsuspended,thoughneverruptured。Heatfirstintendedonlytolookovertheselettersontheoutside;thenhereadone;thenanother;untilthewholewasthusre-usedasastimulustosadmemories。Hefoldedthemawayagain,placedtheminhispocket,andinsteadofgoingonwithanexaminationintothestateoftheartisticworld,hadremainedmusingonthestrangecircumstancethathehadreturnedtofindKnightnotthehusbandofElfrideafterall。
Thepossibilityofanygivengratificationbegetsacumulativesenseofitsnecessity。Stephengavethereintohisimagination,andfeltmoreintenselythanhehadfeltformanymonthsthat,withoutElfride,hislifewouldneverbeanygreatpleasuretohimself,orhonourtohisMaker。
Theysatbythefire,chattingonexternalandrandomsubjects,neithercaringtobethefirsttoapproachthemattereachmostlongedtodiscuss。Onthetablewiththeperiodicalslaytwoorthreepocket-books,oneofthembeingopen。Knightseeingfromtheexposedpagethatthecontentsweresketchesonly,beganturningtheleavesovercarelesslywithhisfinger。When,sometimelater,Stephenwasoutoftheroom,Knightproceededtopasstheintervalbylookingatthesketchesmorecarefully。
Thefirstcrudeideas,pertainingtodwellingsofallkinds,wereroughlyoutlinedonthedifferentpages。Antiquitieshadbeencopied;fragmentsofIndiancolumns,colossalstatues,andoutlandishornamentfromthetemplesofElephantaandKenneri,werecarelesslyintrudeduponbyoutlinesofmoderndoors,windows,roofs,cooking-stoves,andhouseholdfurniture;
everything,inshort,whichcomeswithintherangeofapractisingarchitect\'sexperience,whotravelswithhiseyesopen。Amongtheseoccasionallyappearedroughdelineationsofmediaevalsubjectsforcarvingorillumination——headsofVirgins,Saints,andProphets。
Stephenwasnotprofessedlyafree-handdraughtsman,buthedrewthehumanfigurewithcorrectnessandskill。Initsnumerousrepetitionsonthesidesandedgesoftheleaves,Knightbegantonoticeapeculiarity。Allthefemininesaintshadonetypeoffeature。Therewerelargenimbiandsmallnimbiabouttheirdroopingheads,butthefacewasalwaysthesame。Thatprofile——
howwellKnightknewthatprofile!
Hadtherebeenbutonespecimenofthefamiliarcountenance,hemighthavepassedovertheresemblanceasaccidental;butarepetitionmeantmore。KnightthoughtanewofSmith\'shastywordsearlierintheday,andlookedatthesketchesagainandagain。
Ontheyoungman\'sentry,Knightsaidwithpalpableagitation——
\'Stephen,whoarethoseintendedfor?\'
Stephenlookedoverthebookwithutterunconcern,\'Saintsandangels,doneinmyleisuremoments。TheywereintendedasdesignsforthestainedglassofanEnglishchurch。\'
\'ButwhomdoyouidealizebythattypeofwomanyoualwaysadoptfortheVirgin?\'
\'Nobody。\'
AndthenathoughtracedalongStephen\'smindandhelookedupathisfriend。
Thetruthis,Stephen\'sintroductionofElfride\'slineamentshadbeensounconsciousthathehadnotatfirstunderstoodhiscompanion\'sdrift。Thehand,likethetongue,easilyacquiresthetrickofrepetitionbyrote,withoutcallinginthemindtoassistatall;andthishadbeenthecasehere。YoungmenwhocannotwriteversesabouttheirLovesgenerallytaketoportrayingthem,andintheearlydaysofhisattachmentSmithhadneverbeenwearyofoutliningElfride。Thelay-figureofStephen\'ssketchesnowinitiatedanadjustmentofmanythings。Knighthadrecognizedher。Theopportunityofcomparingnoteshadcomeunsought。
\'ElfrideSwancourt,towhomIwasengaged,\'hesaidquietly。
\'Stephen!\'
\'Iknowwhatyoumeanbyspeakinglikethat。\'
\'WasitElfride?YOUtheman,Stephen?\'
\'Yes;andyouarethinkingwhydidIconcealthefactfromyouthattimeatEndelstow,areyounot?\'
\'Yes,andmore——more。\'
\'Ididitforthebest;blamemeifyouwill;Ididitforthebest。AndnowsayhowcouldIbewithyouafterwardsasIhadbeenbefore?\'
\'Idon\'tknowatall;Ican\'tsay。\'
Knightremainedfixedinthought,andoncehemurmured——
\'Ihadasuspicionthisafternoonthattheremightbesomesuchmeaninginyourwordsaboutmytakingheraway。ButIdismissedit。Howcameyoutoknowher?\'hepresentlyasked,inalmostaperemptorytone。
\'Iwentdownaboutthechurch;yearsagonow。\'