第5章

类别:其他 作者:Laurence Sterne字数:12416更新时间:18/12/14 10:36:01
atleastforamouthorsixweeks;attheendofwhich,ifheisaharmlessfellow,hisinnocenceappears,andhecomesoutabetterandwisermanthanhewentin。 Ihadsomeoccasion(Iforgetwhat)tostepintothecourt-yard,asIsettledthisaccount;andrememberIwalk\'ddownstairsinnosmalltriumphwiththeconceitofmyreasoning-Beshrewthesombrepencil!saidI,vauntingly-forIenvynotitspowers,whichpaintstheevilsoflifewithsohardanddeadlyacolouring。 Themindsitsterrifiedattheobjectsshehasmagnifiedherself,andblackened:reducethemtotheirpropersizeandhue,sheoverlooksthem-\'Tistrue,saidI,correctingtheproposition,- theBastileisnotaneviltobedespised;-butstripitofitstowers-fillupthefosse,-unbarricadethedoors-callitsimplyaconfinement,andsuppose\'tissometyrantofadistemper- andnotofaman,whichholdsyouinit,-theevilvanishes,andyoubeartheotherhalfwithoutcomplaint。 Iwasinterruptedintheheydayofthissoliloquy,withavoicewhichItooktobeofachild,whichcomplained\"itcouldnotgetout。\"-Ilook\'dupanddownthepassage,andseeingneitherman,woman,norchild,Iwentoutwithoutfartherattention。 Inmyreturnbackthroughthepassage,Iheardthesamewordsrepeatedtwiceover;and,lookingup,Isawitwasastarlinghunginalittlecage-\"Ican\'tgetout,-Ican\'tgetout,\"saidthestarling。 Istoodlookingatthebird:andtoeverypersonwhocamethroughthepassageitranflutteringtothesidetowardswhichtheyapproach\'dit,withthesamelamentationofitscaptivity。\"I can\'tgetout,\"saidthestarling-Godhelpthee!saidI,butI\'lllettheeout,costwhatitwill;soIturnedaboutthecagetogettothedoor:itwastwistedanddoubletwistedsofastwithwire,therewasnogettingitopenwithoutpullingthecagetopieces-Itookbothhandstoit。 ThebirdflewtotheplacewhereIwasattemptinghisdeliverance,andthrustinghisheadthroughthetrellispressedhisbreastagainstitasifimpatient-Ifear,poorcreature!saidI,I cannotsettheeatliberty-\"No,\"saidthestarling,-\"Ican\'tgetout-Ican\'tgetout,\"saidthestarling。 IvowIneverhadmyaffectionsmoretenderlyawakened;nordoI rememberanincidentinmylife,wherethedissipatedspirits,towhichmyreasonhadbeenabubble,weresosuddenlycall\'dhome。 Mechanicalasthenoteswere,yetsotrueintunetonatureweretheychanted,thatinonemomenttheyoverthrewallmysystematicreasoningsupontheBastile;andIheavilywalkedupstairs,unsayingeverywordIhadsaidingoingdownthem。 Disguisethyselfasthouwilt,still,Slavery!saidI,-stillthouartabitterdraught!andthoughthousandsinallageshavebeenmadetodrinkofthee,thouartnolessbitteronthataccount- \'Tisthou,thricesweetandgraciousgoddess,addressingmyselftoLiberty,whomallinpublicorinprivateworship,whosetasteisgrateful,andeverwillbeso,tillNatureherselfshallchange- NoTINTofwordscanspotthysnowymantle,orchymicpowerturnthysceptreintoiron:-withtheetosmileuponhimasheeatshiscrust,theswainishappierthanhismonarch,fromwhosecourtthouartexiled!-GraciousHeaven!criedI,kneelingdownuponthelaststepbutoneinmyascent,grantmebuthealth,thougreatBestowerofit,andgivemebutthisfairgoddessasmycompanion,-andshowerdownthymitres,ifitseemsgooduntothydivineprovidence,uponthoseheadswhichareachingforthem! THECAPTIVE。PARIS。 THEbirdinhiscagepursuedmeintomyroom;Isatdownclosetomytable,andleaningmyheaduponmyhand,Ibegantofiguretomyselfthemiseriesofconfinement。Iwasinarightframeforit,andsoIgavefullscopetomyimagination。 Iwasgoingtobeginwiththemillionsofmyfellow-creaturesborntonoinheritancebutslavery:butfinding,howeveraffectingthepicturewas,thatIcouldnotbringitnearme,andthatthemultitudeofsadgroupsinitdidbutdistractme—— Itookasinglecaptive,andhavingfirstshuthimupinhisdungeon,Ithenlook\'dthroughthetwilightofhisgrateddoortotakehispicture。 Ibeheldhisbodyhalf-wastedawaywithlongexpectationandconfinement,andfeltwhatkindofsicknessoftheheartitwaswhicharisesfromhopedeferr\'d。UponlookingnearerIsawhimpaleandfeverish:inthirtyyearsthewesternbreezehadnotoncefann\'dhisblood;-hehadseennosun,nomoon,inallthattime- norhadthevoiceoffriendorkinsmanbreathedthroughhislattice-Hischildren- Butheremyheartbegantobleed-andIwasforcedtogoonwithanotherpartoftheportrait。 Hewassittinguponthegrounduponalittlestraw,inthefurthestcornerofhisdungeon,whichwasalternatelyhischairandbed:alittlecalendarofsmallstickswerelaidatthehead,notch\'dalloverwiththedismaldaysandnightshehadpassedthere;-hehadoneoftheselittlesticksinhishand,and,witharustynailhewasetchinganotherdayofmiserytoaddtotheheap。AsI darkenedthelittlelighthehad,heliftedupahopelesseyetowardsthedoor,thencastitdown,-shookhishead,andwentonwithhisworkofaffliction。Iheardhischainsuponhislegs,asheturnedhisbodytolayhislittlestickuponthebundle-Hegaveadeepsigh-Isawtheironenterintohissoul!-Iburstintotears-Icouldnotsustainthepictureofconfinementwhichmyfancyhaddrawn-Istartedupfrommychair,andcallingLaFleur:Ibidhimbespeakmearemise,andhaveitreadyatthedoorofthehotelbynineinthemorning。 I\'llgodirectly,saidI,myselftoMonsieurleDucdeChoiseul。 LaFleurwouldhaveputmetobed;but-notwillingheshouldseeanythinguponmycheekwhichwouldcostthehonestfellowaheart- ache,-ItoldhimIwouldgotobedbymyself,-andbidhimgodothesame。 THESTARLING。ROADTOVERSAILLES。 IGOTintomyremisethehourIproposed:LaFleurgotupbehind,andIbidthecoachmanmakethebestofhiswaytoVersailles。 Astherewasnothinginthisroad,orrathernothingwhichIlookforintravelling,Icannotfilluptheblankbetterthanwithashorthistoryofthisself-samebird,whichbecamethesubjectofthelastchapter。 WhilsttheHonourableMr-waswaitingforawindatDover,ithadbeencaughtuponthecliffs,beforeitcouldwellfly,byanEnglishladwhowashisgroom;who,notcaringtodestroyit,hadtakenitinhisbreastintothepacket;-and,bycourseoffeedingit,andtakingitonceunderhisprotection,inadayortwogrewfondofit,andgotitsafealongwithhimtoParis。 AtParistheladhadlaidoutalivreinalittlecageforthestarling,andashehadlittletodobetterthefivemonthshismasterstaidthere,hetaughtit,inhismother\'stongue,thefoursimplewords-(andnomore)-towhichIown\'dmyselfsomuchitsdebtor。 Uponhismaster\'sgoingonforItaly,theladhadgivenittothemasterofthehotel。ButhislittlesongforlibertybeinginanUNKNOWNlanguageatParis,thebirdhadlittleornostoresetbyhim:soLaFleurboughtbothhimandhiscageformeforabottleofBurgundy。 InmyreturnfromItalyIbroughthimwithmetothecountryinwhoselanguagehehadlearnedhisnotes;andtellingthestoryofhimtoLordA-,LordA-begg\'dthebirdofme;-inaweekLordA- gavehimtoLordB-;LordB-madeapresentofhimtoLordC-;andLordC-\'sgentlemansoldhimtoLordD-\'sforashilling;LordD- gavehimtoLordE-;andsoon-halfroundthealphabet。Fromthatrankhepass\'dintothelowerhouse,andpass\'dthehandsofasmanycommoners。ButasallthesewantedtoGETIN,andmybirdwantedtoGETOUT,hehadalmostaslittlestoresetbyhiminLondonasinParis。 Itisimpossiblebutmanyofmyreadersmusthaveheardofhim;andifanybymerechancehaveeverseenhim,Ibegleavetoinformthem,thatthatbirdwasmybird,orsomevilecopysetuptorepresenthim。 Ihavenothingfarthertoadduponhim,butthatfromthattimetothisIhavebornethispoorstarlingasthecresttomyarms- Thus: [Picturewhichcannotbereproduced]- Andlettheherald\'sofficerstwisthisneckaboutiftheydare。 THEADDRESS。VERSAILLES。 ISHOULDnotliketohavemyenemytakeaviewofmymindwhenIamgoingtoaskprotectionofanyman;forwhichreasonIgenerallyendeavourtoprotectmyself;butthisgoingtoMonsieurleDucdeC-wasanactofcompulsion;haditbeenanactofchoice,Ishouldhavedoneit,Isuppose,likeotherpeople。 Howmanymeanplansofdirtyaddress,asIwentalong,didmyservileheartform!IdeservedtheBastileforeveryoneofthem。 ThennothingwouldservemewhenIgotwithinsightofVersailles,butputtingwordsandsentencestogether,andconceivingattitudesandtonestowreathmyselfintoMonsieurleDucdeC-\'sgoodgraces-Thiswilldo,saidI-Justaswell,retortedIagain,asacoatcarrieduptohimbyanadventuroustailor,withouttakinghismeasure。Fool!continuedI,-seeMonsieurleDuc\'sfacefirst;-observewhatcharacteriswritteninit;-takenoticeinwhatposturehestandstohearyou;-marktheturnsandexpressionsofhisbodyandlimbs;-andforthetone,-thefirstsoundwhichcomesfromhislipswillgiveityou;andfromallthesetogetheryou\'llcompoundanaddressatonceuponthespot,whichcannotdisgusttheDuke;-theingredientsarehisown,andmostlikelytogodown。 Well!saidI,Iwishitwellover-Cowardagain!asifmantomanwasnotequalthroughoutthewholesurfaceoftheglobe;andifinthefield-whynotfacetofaceinthecabinettoo?Andtrustme,Yorick,wheneveritisnotso,manisfalsetohimselfandbetrayshisownsuccourstentimeswherenaturedoesitonce。GototheDucdeC-withtheBastileinthylooks;-mylifeforit,thouwiltbesentbacktoParisinhalfanhourwithanescort。 Ibelieveso,saidI-ThenI\'llgototheDuke,byheaven!withallthegaietyanddebonairnessintheworld—— Andthereyouarewrongagain,repliedI-Aheartatease,Yorick,fliesintonoextremes-\'tiseveronitscentre-Well! well!criedI,asthecoachmanturn\'dinatthegates,IfindI shalldoverywell:andbythetimehehadwheel\'droundthecourt,andbroughtmeuptothedoor,Ifoundmyselfsomuchthebetterformyownlecture,thatIneitherascendedthestepslikeavictimtojustice,whowastopartwithlifeuponthetopmost,-nordidImountthemwithaskipandacoupleofstrides,asIdowhenI flyup,Eliza!totheetomeetit。 AsIenteredthedoorofthesaloonIwasmetbyaperson,whopossiblymightbetheMAITRED\'HOTEL,buthadmoretheairofoneoftheundersecretaries,whotoldmetheDucdeC-wasbusy-I amutterlyignorant,saidI,oftheformsofobtaininganaudience,beinganabsolutestranger,andwhatisworseinthepresentconjunctureofaffairs,beinganEnglishmantoo-Hereplied,thatdidnotincreasethedifficulty-Imadehimaslightbow,andtoldhim,IhadsomethingofimportancetosaytoMonsieurleDuc。 Thesecretarylook\'dtowardsthestairs,asifhewasabouttoleavemetocarryupthisaccounttosomeone-ButImustnotmisleadyou,saidI,-forwhatIhavetosayisofnomannerofimportancetoMonsieurleDucdeC——butofgreatimportancetomyself-C\'ESTUNEAUTREAFFAIRE,repliedhe-Notatall,saidI,toamanofgallantry-Butpray,goodsir,continuedI,whencanastrangerhopetohaveaccess?-Innotlessthantwohours,saidhe,lookingathiswatch。Thenumberofequipagesinthecourt-yardseemedtojustifythecalculation,thatIcouldhavenoneareraprospect;-andaswalkingbackwardsandforwardsinthesaloon,withoutasoultocommunewith,wasforthetimeasbadasbeingintheBastileitself,Iinstantlywentbacktomyremise,andbidthecoachmandrivemetotheCORDONBLEU,whichwasthenearesthotel。 Ithinkthereisafatalityinit;-IseldomgototheplaceIsetoutfor。 LEPATISSIER。VERSAILLES。 BEFOREIhadgothalfwaydownthestreetIchangedmymind:asI amatVersailles,thoughtI,Imightaswelltakeaviewofthetown;soIpull\'dthecord,andorderedthecoachmantodriveroundsomeoftheprincipalstreets-Isupposethetownisnotverylarge,saidI-Thecoachmanbegg\'dpardonforsettingmeright,andtoldmeitwasverysuperb,andthatnumbersofthefirstdukesandmarquisesandcountshadhotels-TheCountdeB-,ofwhomthebooksellerattheQuaideContihadspokesohandsomelythenightbefore,cameinstantlyintomymind-AndwhyshouldInotgo,thoughtI,totheCountdeB-,whohassohighanideaofEnglishbooksandEnglishmen-andtellhimmystory?soIchangedmymindasecondtime-Intruthitwasthethird;forIhadintendedthatdayforMadamedeR-,intheRueSt。Pierre,andhaddevoutlysentherwordbyherFILLEDECHAMBREthatIwouldassuredlywaituponher;-butIamgovernedbycircumstances;-Icannotgovernthem: soseeingamanstandingwithabasketontheothersideofthestreet,asifhehadsomethingtosell,IbidLaFleurgouptohim,andenquirefortheCount\'shotel。 LaFleurreturnedalittlepale;andtoldmeitwasaChevalierdeSt。Louissellingpates-Itisimpossible,LaFleur,saidI-LaFleurcouldnomoreaccountforthephenomenonthanmyself;butpersistedinhisstory:hehadseenthecroixsetingold,withitsredriband,hesaid,tiedtohisbuttonhole-andhadlookedintothebasketandseenthepateswhichtheChevalierwasselling;socouldnotbemistakeninthat。 Suchareverseinman\'slifeawakensabetterprinciplethancuriosity:IcouldnothelplookingforsometimeathimasIsatintheremise:-themoreIlook\'dathim,hiscroix,andhisbasket,thestrongertheywovethemselvesintomybrain-Igotoutoftheremise,andwenttowardshim。 Hewasbegirtwithacleanlinenapronwhichfellbelowhisknees,andwithasortofabibthatwenthalfwayuphisbreast;uponthetopofthis,butalittlebelowthehem,hunghiscroix。Hisbasketoflittlepateswascoveredoverwithawhitedamasknapkin; anotherofthesamekindwasspreadatthebottom;andtherewasalookofPROPRETEandneatnessthroughout,thatonemighthaveboughthispatesofhim,asmuchfromappetiteassentiment。 Hemadeanofferofthemtoneither;butstoodstillwiththematthecornerofanhotel,forthosetobuywhochoseitwithoutsolicitation。 Hewasaboutforty-eight;-ofasedatelook,somethingapproachingtogravity。Ididnotwonder-Iwentuprathertothebasketthanhim,andhavingliftedupthenapkin,andtakingoneofhispatesintomyhand,-Ibegg\'dhewouldexplaintheappearancewhichaffectedme。 Hetoldmeinafewwords,thatthebestpartofhislifehadpassedintheservice,inwhich,afterspendingasmallpatrimony,hehadobtainedacompanyandthecroixwithit;butthat,attheconclusionofthelastpeace,hisregimentbeingreformed,andthewholecorps,withthoseofsomeotherregiments,leftwithoutanyprovision,hefoundhimselfinawideworldwithoutfriends,withoutalivre,-andindeed,saidhe,withoutanythingbutthis,-(pointing,ashesaidit,tohiscroix)-ThepoorChevalierwonmypity,andhefinishedthescenewithwinningmyesteemtoo。 Theking,hesaid,wasthemostgenerousofprinces,buthisgenerositycouldneitherrelievenorrewardeveryone,anditwasonlyhismisfortunetobeamongstthenumber。Hehadalittlewife,hesaid,whomheloved,whodidthePATISSERIE;andadded,hefeltnodishonourindefendingherandhimselffromwantinthisway-unlessProvidencehadoffer\'dhimabetter。 Itwouldbewickedtowithholdapleasurefromthegood,inpassingoverwhathappen\'dtothispoorChevalierofSt。Louisaboutninemonthsafter。 Itseemsheusuallytookhisstandneartheirongateswhichleaduptothepalace,andashiscroixhadcaughttheeyesofnumbers,numbershadmadethesameenquirywhichIhaddone-Hehadtoldthemthesamestory,andalwayswithsomuchmodestyandgoodsense,thatithadreach\'datlasttheking\'sears;-who,hearingtheChevalierhadbeenagallantofficer,andrespectedbythewholeregimentasamanofhonourandintegrity,-hebrokeuphislittletradebyapensionoffifteenhundredlivresayear。 AsIhavetoldthistopleasethereader,Ibeghewillallowmetorelateanother,outofitsorder,topleasemyself:-thetwostoriesreflectlightuponeachother,-and\'tisapitytheyshouldbeparted。 THESWORD。RENNES。 WHENstatesandempireshavetheirperiodsofdeclension,andfeelintheirturnswhatdistressandpovertyis,-Istopnottotellthecauseswhichgraduallybroughtthehoused\'E-,inBrittany,intodecay。TheMarquisd\'E-hadfoughtupagainsthisconditionwithgreatfirmness;wishingtopreserve,andstillshowtotheworld,somelittlefragmentsofwhathisancestorshadbeen;- theirindiscretionshadputitoutofhispower。TherewasenoughleftforthelittleexigenciesofOBSCURITY-ButhehadtwoboyswholookeduptohimforLIGHT;-hethoughttheydeservedit。Hehadtriedhissword-itcouldnotopentheway,-theMOUNTINGwastooexpensive,-andsimpleeconomywasnotamatchforit:-therewasnoresourcebutcommerce。 InanyotherprovinceinFrance,saveBrittany,thiswassmitingtherootforeverofthelittletreehisprideandaffectionwish\'dtoseere-blossom-ButinBrittany,therebeingaprovisionforthis,heavail\'dhimselfofit;and,takinganoccasionwhenthestateswereassembledatRennes,theMarquis,attendedwithhistwoboys,enteredthecourt;andhavingpleadedtherightofanancientlawoftheduchy,which,thoughseldomclaim\'d,hesaid,wasnolessinforce,hetookhisswordfromhisside:-Here,saidhe,takeit;andbetrustyguardiansofit,tillbettertimesputmeinconditiontoreclaimit。 ThepresidentacceptedtheMarquis\'ssword:hestaidafewminutestoseeitdepositedinthearchivesofhishouse-anddeparted。 TheMarquisandhiswholefamilyembarkedthenextclayforMartinico,andinaboutnineteenortwentyyearsofsuccessfulapplicationtobusiness,withsomeunlook\'dforbequestsfromdistantbranchesofhishouse,returnhometoreclaimhisnobility,andtosupportit。 ItwasanincidentofgoodfortunewhichwillneverhappentoanytravellerbutaSentimentalone,thatIshouldbeatRennesattheverytimeofthissolemnrequisition:Icallitsolemn;-itwassotome。 TheMarquisenteredthecourtwithhiswholefamily:hesupportedhislady,-hiseldestsonsupportedhissister,andhisyoungestwasattheotherextremeofthelinenexthismother;-heputhishandkerchieftohisfacetwice—— Therewasadeadsilence。WhentheMarquishadapproachedwithinsixpacesofthetribunal,hegavetheMarchionesstohisyoungestson,andadvancingthreestepsbeforehisfamily,-hereclaim\'dhissword。Hisswordwasgivenhim,andthemomenthegotitintohishandhedrewitalmostoutofthescabbard:-\'twastheshiningfaceofafriendhehadoncegivenup-helook\'dattentivelyalongit,beginningatthehilt,asiftoseewhetheritwasthesame,- when,observingalittlerustwhichithadcontractednearthepoint,hebroughtitnearhiseye,andbendinghisheaddownoverit,-Ithink-Isawatearfallupontheplace。Icouldnotbedeceivedbywhatfollowed。 \"Ishallfind,\"saidhe,\"someOTHERWAYtogetitoff。\" WhentheMarquishadsaidthis,hereturnedhisswordintoitsscabbard,madeabowtotheguardiansofit,-and,withhiswifeanddaughter,andhistwosonsfollowinghim,walk\'dout。 O,howIenviedhimhisfeelings! THEPASSPORT。VERSAILLES。 IFOUNDnodifficultyingettingadmittancetoMonsieurleCountdeB。ThesetofShakespeareswaslaiduponthetable,andhewastumblingthemover。Iwalk\'dupclosetothetable,andgivingfirstsuchalookatthebooksastomakehimconceiveIknewwhattheywere,-ItoldhimIhadcomewithoutanyonetopresentme,knowingIshouldmeetwithafriendinhisapartment,who,I trusted,woulddoitforme:-itismycountryman,thegreatShakespeare,saidI,pointingtohisworks-ETAYEZLABOUTE,MON CHERAMI,apostrophizinghisspirit,addedI,DEMEFAIRECET HONNEUR-LE- TheCountsmiledatthesingularityoftheintroduction;andseeingIlook\'dalittlepaleandsickly,insisteduponmytakinganarm- chair;soIsatdown;andtosavehimconjecturesuponavisitsooutofallrule,Itoldhimsimplyoftheincidentinthebookseller\'sshop,andhowthathadimpelledmerathertogotohimwiththestoryofalittleembarrassmentIwasunder,thantoanyothermaninFrance-Andwhatisyourembarrassment?letmehearit,saidtheCount。SoItoldhimthestoryjustasIhavetolditthereader- Andthemasterofmyhotel,saidI,asIconcludedit,willneedshaveit,MonsieurleCount,thatIshallbesenttotheBastile;- butIhavenoapprehensions,continuedI;-for,infallingintothehandsofthemostpolish\'dpeopleintheworld,andbeingconsciousIwasatrueman,andnotcometospythenakednessoftheland,IscarcethoughtIlayattheirmercy-ItdoesnotsuitthegallantryoftheFrench,MonsieurleCount,saidI,toshowitagainstinvalids。 AnanimatedblushcameintotheCountdeB-\'scheeksasIspokethis-NECRAIGNEZRIEN-Don\'tfear,saidhe-Indeed,Idon\'t,repliedIagain-Besides,continuedI,alittlesportingly,I havecomelaughingallthewayfromLondontoParis,andIdonotthinkMonsieurleDucdeChoiseulissuchanenemytomirthastosendmebackcryingformypains- Myapplicationtoyou,MonsieurleCountdeB-(makinghimalowbow),istodesirehewillnot。 TheCountheardmewithgreatgoodnature,orIhadnotsaidhalfasmuch,-andonceortwicesaid,-C\'ESTBIENDIT。SoIrestedmycausethere-anddeterminedtosaynomoreaboutit。 TheCountledthediscourse:wetalk\'dofindifferentthings,-ofbooks,andpolitics,andmen;-andthenofwomen-Godblessthemall!saidI,aftermuchdiscourseaboutthem-thereisnotamanuponearthwholovesthemsomuchasIdo:afterallthefoiblesI haveseen,andallthesatiresIhavereadagainstthem,stillI lovethem;beingfirmlypersuadedthataman,whohasnotasortofaffectionforthewholesex,isincapableofeverlovingasingleoneasheought。 EHBIEN!MONSIEURL\'ANGLOIS,saidtheCount,gaily;-youarenotcometospythenakednessoftheland;-Ibelieveyou;-NI ENCORE,Idaresay,THATofourwomen!-Butpermitmetoconjecture,-if,PARHAZARD,theyfellintoyourway,thattheprospectwouldnotaffectyou。 Ihavesomethingwithinmewhichcannotbeartheshockoftheleastindecentinsinuation:inthesportabilityofchit-chatIhaveoftenendeavouredtoconquerit,andwithinfinitepainhavehazardedathousandthingstoadozenofthesextogether,-theleastofwhichIcouldnotventuretoasingleonetogainheaven。 Excuseme,MonsieurleCount,saidI;-asforthenakednessofyourland,ifIsawit,Ishouldcastmyeyesoveritwithtearsinthem;-andforthatofyourwomen(blushingattheideahehadexcitedinme)Iamsoevangelicalinthis,andhavesuchafellow- feelingforwhateverisweakaboutthem,thatIwouldcoveritwithagarmentifIknewhowtothrowiton:-ButIcouldwish,continuedI,tospythenakednessoftheirhearts,andthroughthedifferentdisguisesofcustoms,climates,andreligion,findoutwhatisgoodinthemtofashionmyownby:-andthereforeamI come。 Itisforthisreason,MonsieurleCount,continuedI,thatIhavenotseenthePalaisRoyal,-northeLuxembourg,-northeFacadeoftheLouvre,-norhaveattemptedtoswellthecatalogueswehaveofpictures,statues,andchurches-Iconceiveeveryfairbeingasatemple,andwouldratherenterin,andseetheoriginaldrawingsandloosesketcheshungupinit,thantheTransfigurationofRaphaelitself。 Thethirstofthis,continuedI,asimpatientasthatwhichinflamesthebreastoftheconnoisseur,hasledmefrommyownhomeintoFrance,-andfromFrancewillleadmethroughItaly;-\'tisaquietjourneyoftheheartinpursuitofNature,andthoseaffectionswhichariseoutofher,whichmakeusloveeachother,- andtheworld,betterthanwedo。 TheCountsaidagreatmanycivilthingstomeupontheoccasion; andaddedverypolitely,howmuchhestoodobligedtoShakespeareformakingmeknowntohim-ButAPROPOS,saidhe;-Shakespeareisfullofgreatthings;-heforgotasmallpunctilioofannouncingyourname:-itputsyouunderanecessityofdoingityourself。 THEPASSPORT。VERSAILLES。 THEREisnotamoreperplexingaffairinlifetome,thantosetabouttellinganyonewhoIam,-forthereisscarceanybodyI cannotgiveabetteraccountofthanmyself;andIhaveoftenwishedIcoulddoitinasingleword,-andhaveanendofit。ItwastheonlytimeandoccasioninmylifeIcouldaccomplishthistoanypurpose;-forShakespearelyinguponthetable,andrecollectingIwasinhisbooks,ItookupHamlet,andturningimmediatelytothegrave-diggers\'sceneinthefifthact,IlaidmyfingeruponYorick,andadvancingthebooktotheCount,withmyfingerallthewayoverthename,-MEVOICI!saidI。 Now,whethertheideaofpoorYorick\'sskullwasputoutoftheCount\'smindbytherealityofmyown,orbywhatmagichecoulddropaperiodofsevenoreighthundredyears,makesnothinginthisaccount;-\'tiscertaintheFrenchconceivebetterthantheycombine;-Iwonderatnothinginthisworld,andthelessatthis; inasmuchasoneofthefirstofourownChurch,forwhosecandourandpaternalsentimentsIhavethehighestveneration,fellintothesamemistakeintheverysamecase:-\"Hecouldnotbear,\"hesaid,\"tolookintothesermonswrotebytheKingofDenmark\'sjester。\"Good,myLordsaidI;buttherearetwoYoricks。TheYorickyourLordshipthinksof,hasbeendeadandburiedeighthundredyearsago;heflourishedinHorwendillus\'scourt;-theotherYorickismyself,whohaveflourished,myLord,innocourt- Heshookhishead。GoodGod!saidI,youmightaswellconfoundAlexandertheGreatwithAlexandertheCoppersmith,mylord!- \"\'Twasallone,\"hereplied—— IfAlexander,KingofMacedon,couldhavetranslatedyourLordship,saidI,I\'msureyourLordshipwouldnothavesaidso。 ThepoorCountdeB-fellbutintothesameERROR- ET,MONSIEUR,EST-ILYORICK?criedtheCount-JELESUIS,saidI-VOUS?-MOI,-MOIQUIAIL\'HONNEURDEVOUSPARLER,MONSIEUR LECOMTE-MONDIEU!saidhe,embracingme,-VOUSETESYORICK! TheCountinstantlyputtheShakespeareintohispocket,andleftmealoneinhisroom。 THEPASSPORT。VERSAILLES。 ICOULDnotconceivewhytheCountdeB-hadgonesoabruptlyoutoftheroom,anymorethanIcouldconceivewhyhehadputtheShakespeareintohispocket- MYSTERIESWHICHMUSTEXPLAINTHEMSELVESARENOTWORTHTHELOSSOF TIMEWHICHACONJECTUREABOUTTHEMTAKESUP:\'twasbettertoreadShakespeare;sotakingup\"MUCHADOABOUTNOTHING,\"ItransportedmyselfinstantlyfromthechairIsatintoMessinainSicily,andgotsobusywithDonPedro,andBenedict,andBeatrice,thatI thoughtnotofVersailles,theCount,orthepassport。 Sweetpliabilityofman\'sspirit,thatcanatoncesurrenderitselftoillusions,whichcheatexpectationandsorrowoftheirwearymoments!-Long,-longsincehadyenumber\'doutmydays,hadI nottrodsogreatapartofthemuponthisenchantedground。Whenmywayistooroughformyfeet,ortoosteepformystrength,I getoffit,tosomesmoothvelvetpath,whichFancyhasscatteredoverwithrosebudsofdelights;andhavingtakenafewturnsinit,comebackstrengthenedandrefresh\'d-Whenevilspresssoreuponme,andthereisnoretreatfromtheminthisworld,thenItakeanewcourse;-Ileaveit,-andasIhaveaclearerideaoftheElysianfieldsthanIhaveofheaven,Iforcemyself,likeAEneas,intothem-IseehimmeetthepensiveshadeofhisforsakenDido,andwishtorecogniseit;-Iseetheinjuredspiritwaveherhead,andturnoffsilentfromtheauthorofhermiseriesanddishonours;- Ilosethefeelingsformyselfinhers,andinthoseaffectionswhichwerewonttomakememournforherwhenIwasatschool。 SURELYTHISISNOTWALKINGINAVAINSHADOW-NORDOESMANDISQUIET HIMSELFinvainBYIT:-heoftenerdoessointrustingtheissueofhiscommotionstoreasononly-Icansafelysayformyself,Iwasneverabletoconqueranyonesinglebadsensationinmyheartsodecisively,asbeatingupasfastasIcouldforsomekindlyandgentlesensationtofightituponitsowngroundWhenIhadgottotheendofthethirdacttheCountdeB-entered,withmypassportinhishand。MonsieurleDucdeC-,saidtheCount,isasgoodaprophet,Idaresay,asheisastatesman。UN HOMMEQUIRIT,saidtheDuke,NESERAJAMAISDANGEREUX-Haditbeenforanyonebuttheking\'sjester,addedtheCount,Icouldnothavegotitthesetwohours-PARDONNEZMOI,MonsieurleCount,saidI-Iamnottheking\'sjester-ButyouareYorick?- Yes-ETVOUSPLAISANTEZ?-Ianswered,IndeedIdidjest,-butwasnotpaidforit;-\'twasentirelyatmyownexpense。 Wehavenojesteratcourt,MonsieurleCount,saidI;thelastwehadwasinthelicentiousreignofCharlesII。;-sincewhichtimeourmannershavebeensograduallyrefining,thatourcourtatpresentissofullofpatriots,whowishforNOTHINGbutthehonoursandwealthoftheircountry;-andourladiesareallsochaste,sospotless,sogood,sodevout,-thereisnothingforajestertomakeajestof- VOILAUNPERSIFLAGE!criedtheCount。 THEPASSPORT。VERSAILLES。 ASthepassportwasdirectedtoalllieutenant-governors,governors,andcommandantsofcities,generalsofarmies,justiciaries,andallofficersofjustice,toletMr。Yoricktheking\'sjester,andhisbaggage,travelquietlyalong,Iownthetriumphofobtainingthepassportwasnotalittletarnish\'dbythefigureIcutinit-Butthereisnothingunmix\'dinthisworld;