第6章

类别:其他 作者:Laurence Sterne字数:14141更新时间:18/12/14 10:36:01
andsomeofthegravestofourdivineshavecarrieditsofarastoaffirm,thatenjoymentitselfwasattendedevenwithasigh,-andthatthegreatestTHEYKNEWOFterminated,INAGENERALWAY,inlittlebetterthanaconvulsion。 IrememberthegraveandlearnedBevoriskius,inhisCommentaryupontheGenerationsfromAdam,verynaturallybreaksoffinthemiddleofanotetogiveanaccounttotheworldofacoupleofsparrowsupontheout-edgeofhiswindow,whichhadincommodedhimallthetimehewrote,andatlasthadentirelytakenhimofffromhisgenealogy- \'Tisstrange!writesBevoriskius;butthefactsarecertain,forIhavehadthecuriositytomarkthemdownonebyonewithmypen;- butthecocksparrow,duringthelittletimethatIcouldhavefinishedtheotherhalfofthisnote,hasactuallyinterruptedmewiththereiterationofhiscaressesthree-and-twentytimesandahalf。 Howmerciful,addsBevoriskius,isheaventohiscreatures! IllfatedYorick!thatthegravestofthybrethrenshouldbeabletowritethattotheworld,whichstainsthyfacewithcrimsontocopy,eveninthystudy。 Butthisisnothingtomytravels-SoItwice,-twicebegpardonforit。 CHARACTER。VERSAILLES。 ANDhowdoyoufindtheFrench?saidtheCountdeB-,afterhehadgivenmethepassport。 Thereadermaysuppose,thataftersoobligingaproofofcourtesy,Icouldnotbeatalosstosaysomethinghandsometotheenquiry- MAISPASSE,POURCELA-Speakfrankly,saidhe:doyoufindalltheurbanityintheFrenchwhichtheworldgiveusthehonourof?- Ihadfoundeverything,Isaid,whichconfirmedit-VRAIMENT,saidtheCount,LESFRANCOISSONTPOLIS-Toanexcess,repliedI。 TheCounttooknoticeofthewordEXCES;andwouldhaveitImeantmorethanIsaid。IdefendedmyselfalongtimeaswellasIcouldagainstit-HeinsistedIhadareserve,andthatIwouldspeakmyopinionfrankly。 Ibelieve,MonsieurleCount,saidI,thatmanhasacertaincompass,aswellasaninstrument;andthatthesocialandothercallshaveoccasionbyturnsforeverykeyinhim;sothatifyoubeginanotetoohighortoolow,theremustbeawanteitherintheupperorunderpart,tofillupthesystemofharmony-TheCountdeB-didnotunderstandmusic,sodesiredmetoexplainitsomeotherway。Apolish\'dnation,mydearCount,saidI,makeseveryoneitsdebtor:andbesides,Urbanityitself,likethefairsex,hassomanycharms,itgoesagainstthehearttosayitcandoill;andyet,Ibelieve,thereisbutacertainlineofperfection,thatman,takehimaltogether,isempower\'dtoarriveat:-ifhegetsbeyond,heratherexchangesqualitiesthangetsthem。ImustnotpresumetosayhowfarthishasaffectedtheFrenchinthesubjectwearespeakingof;-but,shoulditeverbethecaseoftheEnglish,intheprogressoftheirrefinements,toarriveatthesamepolishwhichdistinguishestheFrench,ifwedidnotlosethePOLITESSEDUCOEUR,whichinclinesmenmoretohumaneactionsthancourteousones,-weshouldatleastlosethatdistinctvarietyandoriginalityofcharacter,whichdistinguishesthem,notonlyfromeachother,butfromalltheworldbesides。 IhadafewofKingWilliam\'sshillings,assmoothasglass,inmypocket;andforeseeingtheywouldbeofuseintheillustrationofmyhypothesis,IhadgotthemintomyhandwhenIhadproceededsofar:- See,MonsieurleCount,saidI,risingup,andlayingthembeforehimuponthetable,-byjinglingandrubbingoneagainstanotherforseventyyearstogetherinonebody\'spocketoranother\'s,theyarebecomesomuchalike,youcanscarcedistinguishoneshillingfromanother。 TheEnglish,likeancientmedals,keptmoreapart,andpassingbutfewpeople\'shands,preservethefirstsharpnesseswhichthefinehandofNaturehasgiventhem;-theyarenotsopleasanttofeel,-butinreturnthelegendissovisible,thatatthefirstlookyouseewhoseimageandsuperscriptiontheybear-ButtheFrench,MonsieurleCount,addedI(wishingtosoftenwhatIhadsaid),havesomanyexcellences,theycanthebettersparethis;-theyarealoyal,agallant,agenerous,aningenious,andgoodtemper\'dpeopleasisunderheaven;-iftheyhaveafault-theyaretooSERIOUS。 MONDIEU!criedtheCount,risingoutofhischair。 MAISVOUSPLAISANTEZ,saidhe,correctinghisexclamation-Ilaidmyhanduponmybreast,andwithearnestgravityassuredhimitwasmymostsettledopinion。 TheCountsaidhewasmortifiedhecouldnotstaytohearmyreasons,beingengagedtogothatmomenttodinewiththeDucdeC。 ButifitisnottoofartocometoVersaillestoeatyoursoupwithme,Ibeg,beforeyouleaveFrance,Imayhavethepleasureofknowingyouretractyouropinion,-or,inwhatmanneryousupportit-But,ifyoudosupportit,MonsieurAnglois,saidhe,youmustdoitwithallyourpowers,becauseyouhavethewholeworldagainstyou-IpromisedtheCountIwoulddomyselfthehonourofdiningwithhimbeforeIsetoutforItaly;-sotookmyleave。 THETEMPTATION。PARIS。 WHENIalightedatthehotel,theportertoldmeayoungwomanwithabandboxhadbeenthatmomentenquiringforme-Idonotknow,saidtheporter,whethersheisgoneawayornot。Itookthekeyofmychamberofhim,andwentupstairs;andwhenIhadgotwithintenstepsofthetopofthelandingbeforemydoor,Imethercomingeasilydown。 ItwasthefairFILLEDECHAMBREIhadwalkedalongtheQuaideContiwith;MadamedeR-hadsentheruponsomecommissiontoaMARCHANDEDESMODESwithinasteportwooftheHoteldeModene; andasIhadfail\'dinwaitinguponher,hadbidherenquireifI hadleftParis;andifso,whetherIhadnotleftaletteraddressedtoher。 AsthefairFILLEDECHAMBREwassonearmydoor,shereturnedback,andwentintotheroomwithmeforamomentortwowhilstI wroteacard。 ItwasafinestilleveninginthelatterendofthemonthofMay,-thecrimsonwindowcurtains(whichwereofthesamecolourasthoseofthebed)weredrawnclose:-thesunwassetting,andreflectedthroughthemsowarmatintintothefairFILLEDE CHAMBRE\'Sface,-Ithoughtsheblush\'d;-theideaofitmademeblushmyself:-wewerequitealone;andthatsuperinducedasecondblushbeforethefirstcouldgetoff。 Thereisasortofapleasinghalfguiltyblush,wherethebloodismoreinfaultthantheman:-\'tissentimpetuousfromtheheart,andvirtuefliesafterit,-nottocallitback,buttomakethesensationofitmoredelicioustothenerves:-\'tisassociated- ButI\'llnotdescribeit;-IfeltsomethingatfirstwithinmewhichwasnotinstrictunisonwiththelessonofvirtueIhadgivenherthenightbefore-Isoughtfiveminutesforacard;-I knewIhadnotone-Itookupapen-Ilaiditdownagain;-myhandtrembled:-thedevilwasinme。 Iknowaswellasanyoneheisanadversary,whom,ifweresist,hewillflyfromus;-butIseldomresisthimatall;fromaterror,thoughImayconquer,Imaystillgetahurtinthecombat;- soIgiveupthetriumphforsecurity;and,insteadofthinkingtomakehimfly,Igenerallyflymyself。 ThefairFILLEDECHAMBREcamecloseuptothebureauwhereIwaslookingforacard-tookupfirstthepenIcastdown,thenoffer\'dtoholdmetheink;sheoffer\'ditsosweetly,Iwasgoingtoacceptit;-butIdurstnot;-Ihavenothing,mydear,saidI,towriteupon-Writeit,saidshe,simply,uponanything- Iwasjustgoingtocryout,ThenIwillwriteit,fairgirl!uponthylips- IfIdo,saidI,Ishallperish;-soItookherbythehand,andledhertothedoor,andbegg\'dshewouldnotforgetthelessonI hadgivenher-Shesaid,indeedshewouldnot;-and,assheuttereditwithsomeearnestness,sheturn\'dabout,andgavemebothherhands,closedtogether,intomine;-itwasimpossiblenottocompresstheminthatsituation;-Iwish\'dtoletthemgo;andallthetimeIheldthem,Ikeptarguingwithinmyselfagainstit,-andstillIheldthemon-IntwominutesIfoundIhadallthebattletofightoveragain;-andIfeltmylegsandeverylimbaboutmetrembleattheidea。 Thefootofthebedwaswithinayardandahalfoftheplacewherewewerestanding-Ihadstillholdofherhands-andhowithappenedIcangivenoaccount;butIneitherask\'dher-nordrewher-nordidIthinkofthebed;-butsoitdidhappen,webothsatdown。 I\'lljustshowyou,saidthefairFILLEDECHAMBRE,thelittlepurseIhavebeenmakingto-daytoholdyourcrown。Sosheputherhandintoherrightpocket,whichwasnextme,andfeltforitsometime-thenintotheleft-\"Shehadlostit。\"-Ineverboreexpectationmorequietly;-itwasinherrightpocketatlast;- shepull\'ditout;itwasofgreentaffeta,linedwithalittlebitofwhitequiltedsatin,andjustbigenoughtoholdthecrown:sheputitintomyhand;-itwaspretty;andIheldittenminuteswiththebackofmyhandrestinguponherlap-lookingsometimesatthepurse,sometimesononesideofit。 Astitchortwohadbrokeoutinthegathersofmystock;thefairFILLEDECHAMBRE,withoutsayingaword,tookoutherlittlehousewife,threadedasmallneedle,andsew\'ditup-Iforesawitwouldhazardthegloryoftheday;and,asshepass\'dherhandinsilenceacrossandacrossmyneckinthemanoeuvre,Ifeltthelaurelsshakewhichfancyhadwreath\'daboutmyhead。 Astraphadgivenwayinherwalk,andthebuckleofhershoewasjustfallingoff-See,saidtheFILLEDECHAMBRE,holdingupherfoot-Icouldnot,formysoulbutfastenthebuckleinreturn,andputtinginthestrap,-andliftinguptheotherfootwithit,whenIhaddone,toseebothwereright,-indoingittoosuddenly,itunavoidablythrewthefairFILLEDECHAMBREoffhercentre,-andthen- THECONQUEST。 YES,-andthen。Yewhoseclay-coldheadsandluke-warmheartscanarguedownormaskyourpassions,tellme,whattrespassisitthatmanshouldhavethem?orhowhisspiritstandsanswerabletotheFatherofspiritsbutforhisconductunderthem? IfNaturehassowoveherwebofkindness,thatsomethreadsofloveanddesireareentangledwiththepiece,-mustthewholewebberentindrawingthemout?-Whipmesuchstoics,greatGovernorofNature!saidItomyself:-whereverthyprovidenceshallplacemeforthetrialsofmyvirtue;-whateverismydanger,-whateverismysituation,-letmefeelthemovementswhichriseoutofit,andwhichbelongtomeasaman,-and,ifIgovernthemasagoodone,Iwilltrusttheissuestothyjustice;forthouhastmadeus,andnotweourselves。 AsIfinishedmyaddress,IraisedthefairFILLEDECHAMBREupbythehand,andledheroutoftheroom:-shestoodbymetillI lockedthedoorandputthekeyinmypocket,-andthen,-thevictorybeingquitedecisive-andnottillthen,Ipress\'dmylipstohercheek,andtakingherbythehandagain,ledhersafetothegateofthehotel。 THEMYSTERY。PARIS。 IFamanknowstheheart,hewillknowitwasimpossibletogobackinstantlytomychamber;-itwastouchingacoldkeywithaflatthirdtoituponthecloseofapieceofmusic,whichhadcall\'dforthmyaffections:-therefore,whenIletgothehandoftheFILLEDECHAMBRE,Iremainedatthegateofthehotelforsometime,lookingateveryonewhopass\'dby,-andformingconjecturesuponthem,tillmyattentiongotfix\'duponasingleobjectwhichconfoundedallkindofreasoninguponhim。 Itwasatallfigureofaphilosophic,serious,adustlook,whichpassedandrepass\'dsedatelyalongthestreet,makingaturnofaboutsixtypacesoneachsideofthegateofthehotel;-themanwasaboutfifty-two-hadasmallcaneunderhisarm-wasdress\'dinadarkdrab-colour\'dcoat,waistcoat,andbreeches,whichseem\'dtohaveseensomeyearsservice:-theywerestillclean,andtherewasalittleairoffrugalPROPRETEthroughouthim。Byhispullingoffhishat,andhisattitudeofaccostingagoodmanyinhisway,Isawhewasaskingcharity:soIgotasousortwooutofmypocketreadytogivehim,ashetookmeinhisturn-Hepass\'dbymewithoutaskinganything-andyetdidnotgofivestepsfurtherbeforeheask\'dcharityofalittlewoman-Iwasmuchmorelikelytohavegivenofthetwo-Hehadscarcedonewiththewoman,whenhepull\'doffhishattoanotherwhowascomingthesameway-Anancientgentlemancameslowly-and,afterhim,ayoungsmartone- Heletthembothpass,andask\'dnothing。Istoodobservinghimhalfanhour,inwhichtimehehadmadeadozenturnsbackwardsandforwards,andfoundthatheinvariablypursuedthesameplan。 Thereweretwothingsverysingularinthis,whichsetmybraintowork,andtonopurpose:-thefirstwas,whythemanshouldONLY tellhisstorytothesex;-and,secondly,-whatkindofstoryitwas,andwhatspeciesofeloquenceitcouldbe,whichsoften\'dtheheartsofthewomen,whichheknew\'twastonopurposetopractiseuponthemen。 Thereweretwoothercircumstances,whichentangledthismystery;- theonewas,hetoldeverywomanwhathehadtosayinherear,andinawaywhichhadmuchmoretheairofasecretthanapetition;- theotherwas,itwasalwayssuccessful-Heneverstopp\'dawoman,butshepull\'doutherpurse,andimmediatelygavehimsomething。 Icouldformnosystemtoexplainthephenomenon。 Ihadgotariddletoamusemefortherestoftheevening;soI walk\'dupstairstomychamber。 THECASEOFCONSCIENCE。PARIS。 IWASimmediatelyfollowedupbythemasterofthehotel,whocameintomyroomtotellmeImustprovidelodgingselsewhere-Howso,friend?saidI-Heanswered,Ihadhadayoungwomanlock\'dupwithmetwohoursthateveninginmybedchamber,and\'twasagainsttherulesofhishouse-Verywell,saidI,we\'llallpartfriendsthen,-forthegirlisnoworse,-andIamnoworse,- andyouwillbejustasIfoundyou-Itwasenough,hesaid,tooverthrowthecreditofhishotel-VOYEZVOUS,Monsieur,saidhe,pointingtothefootofthebedwehadbeensittingupon-Iownithadsomethingoftheappearanceofanevidence;butmypridenotsufferingmetoenterintoanydetailofthecase,Iexhortedhimtolethissoulsleepinpeace,asIresolvedtoletminedothatnight,andthatIwoulddischargewhatIowedhimatbreakfast。 Ishouldnothaveminded,Monsieur,saidhe,ifyouhadhadtwentygirls-\'Tisascoremore,repliedI,interruptinghim,thanIeverreckon\'dupon-Provided,addedhe,ithadbeenbutinamorning- AnddoesthedifferenceofthetimeofthedayatParismakeadifferenceinthesin?-Itmadeadifference,hesaid,inthescandal-Ilikeagooddistinctioninmyheart;andcannotsayI wasintolerablyoutoftemperwiththeman-Iownitisnecessary,resumedthemasterofthehotel,thatastrangeratParisshouldhavetheopportunitiespresentedtohimofbuyinglaceandsilkstockingsandruffles,ETTOUTCELA;-and\'tisnothingifawomancomeswithaband-box-O,myconscience!saidI,shehadonebutIneverlook\'dintoit-ThenMonsieur,saidhe,hasboughtnothing?-Notoneearthlything,repliedI-Because,saidhe,IcouldrecommendonetoyouwhowoulduseyouENCONSCIENCE- ButImustseeherthisnight,saidI-Hemademealowbow,andwalk\'ddown。 NowshallItriumphoverthisMAITRED\'HOTEL,criedI,-andwhatthen?ThenIshalllethimseeIknowheisadirtyfellow-Andwhatthen?Whatthen?-Iwastoonearmyselftosayitwasforthesakeofothers-Ihadnogoodanswerleft;-therewasmoreofspleenthanprincipleinmyproject,andIwassickofitbeforetheexecution。 Inafewminutesthegrisettecameinwithherboxoflace-I\'llbuynothing,however,saidI,withinmyself。 Thegrisettewouldshowmeeverything-Iwashardtoplease:shewouldnotseemtoseeit;sheopenedherlittlemagazine,andlaidallherlacesoneafteranotherbeforeme;-unfoldedandfoldedthemupagainonebyonewiththemostpatientsweetness-Imightbuy,-ornot;-shewouldletmehaveeverythingatmyownprice:- thepoorcreatureseem\'danxioustogetapenny;andlaidherselfouttowinme,andnotsomuchinamannerwhichseem\'dartful,asinoneIfeltsimpleandcaressing。 Ifthereisnotafundofhonestgullibilityinman,somuchtheworse;-myheartrelented,andIgaveupmysecondresolutionasquietlyasthefirst-WhyshouldIchastiseoneforthetrespassofanother?Ifthouarttributarytothistyrantofanhost,thoughtI,lookingupinherface,somuchharderisthybread。 IfIhadnothadmorethanfourlouisd\'orsinmypurse,therewasnosuchthingasrisingupandshowingherthedoor,tillIhadfirstlaidthreeofthemoutinapairofruffles- Themasterofthehotelwillsharetheprofitwithher;-nomatter,-thenIhaveonlypaidasmanyapoorsoulhasPAIDbeforeme,foranactheCOULDnotdo,orthinkof。 THERIDDLE。PARIS。 WHENLaFleurcameuptowaituponmeatsupper,hetoldmehowsorrythemasterofthehotelwasforhisaffronttomeinbiddingmechangemylodgings。 Amanwhovaluesagoodnight\'srestwillnotliedownwithenmityinhisheart,ifhecanhelpit-SoIbidLaFleurtellthemasterofthehotel,thatIwassorryonmysidefortheoccasionI hadgivenhim;-andyoumaytellhim,ifyouwill,LaFleur,addedI,thatiftheyoungwomanshouldcallagain,Ishallnotseeher。 Thiswasasacrificenottohim,butmyself,havingresolved,aftersonarrowanescape,torunnomorerisks,buttoleaveParis,ifitwaspossible,withallthevirtueIenter\'dit。 C\'ESTDEROGERENOBLESSE,MONSIEUR,saidLaFleur,makingmeabowdowntothegroundashesaidit-ETENCORE,MONSIEUR,saidhe,maychangehissentiments;-andif(PARHAZARD)heshouldliketoamusehimself,-Ifindnoamusementinit,saidI,interruptinghim- MONDIEU!saidLaFleur,-andtookaway。 Inanhour\'stimehecametoputmetobed,andwasmorethancommonlyofficious:-somethinghunguponhislipstosaytome,oraskme,whichhecouldnotgetoff:Icouldnotconceivewhatitwas,andindeedgavemyselflittletroubletofinditout,asIhadanotherriddlesomuchmoreinterestinguponmymind,whichwasthatoftheman\'saskingcharitybeforethedoorofthehotel-I wouldhavegivenanythingtohavegottothebottomofit;andthat,notoutofcuriosity,-\'tissolowaprincipleofenquiry,ingeneral,Iwouldnotpurchasethegratificationofitwithatwo-souspiece;-butasecret,Ithought,whichsosoonandsocertainlysoften\'dtheheartofeverywomanyoucamenear,wasasecretatleastequaltothephilosopher\'sstone;hadIboththeIndies,Iwouldhavegivenuponetohavebeenmasterofit。 Itoss\'dandturn\'ditalmostallnightlonginmybrainstonomannerofpurpose;andwhenIawokeinthemorning,Ifoundmyspiritsasmuchtroubledwithmydreams,asevertheKingofBabylonhadbeenwithhis;andIwillnothesitatetoaffirm,itwouldhavepuzzledallthewisemenofParisasmuchasthoseofChaldeatohavegivenitsinterpretation。 LEDIMANCHE。PARIS。 ITwasSunday;andwhenLaFleurcamein,inthemorning,withmycoffeeandrollandbutter,hehadgothimselfsogallantlyarray\'d,Iscarceknewhim。 IhadcovenantedatMontreuiltogivehimanewhatwithasilverbuttonandloop,andfourlouisd\'ors,POURS\'ADONISER,whenwegottoParis;andthepoorfellow,todohimjustice,haddonewonderswithit。 Hehadboughtabright,clean,goodscarletcoat,andapairofbreechesofthesame-Theywerenotacrownworse,hesaid,forthewearing-Iwish\'dhimhang\'dfortellingme-Theylook\'dsofresh,thatthoughIknewthethingcouldnotbedone,yetIwouldratherhaveimposeduponmyfancywiththinkingIhadboughtthemnewforthefellow,thanthattheyhadcomeoutoftheRuedeFriperie。 ThisisanicetywhichmakesnottheheartsoreatParis。 Hehadpurchased,moreover,ahandsomebluesatinwaistcoat,fancifullyenoughembroidered:-thiswasindeedsomethingtheworsefortheserviceithaddone,but\'twascleanscour\'d;-thegoldhadbeentouch\'dup,anduponthewholewasrathershowythanotherwise;-andasthebluewasnotviolent,itsuitedwiththecoatandbreechesverywell:hehadsqueez\'doutofthemoney,moreover,anewbagandasolitaire;andhadinsistedwiththeFRIPIERuponagoldpairofgarterstohisbreechesknees-Hehadpurchasedmuslinruffles,BIENBRODEES,withfourlivresofhisownmoney;-andapairofwhitesilkstockingsforfivemore;-andtotopall,naturehadgivenhimahandsomefigure,withoutcostinghimasous。 Heenteredtheroomthussetoff,withhishairdressedinthefirststyle,andwithahandsomebouquetinhisbreast-Inaword,therewasthatlookoffestivityineverythingabouthim,whichatonceputmeinminditwasSunday;-and,bycombiningbothtogether,itinstantlystruckme,thatthefavourhewish\'dtoaskofmethenightbefore,wastospendthedayaseverybodyinParisspentitbesides。Ihadscarcemadetheconjecture,whenLaFleur,withinfinitehumility,butwithalookoftrust,asifI shouldnotrefusehim,begg\'dIwouldgranthimtheday,POURFAIRE LEGALANTVIS-E-VISDESAMAITRESSE。 NowitwastheverythingIintendedtodomyselfvis-e-visMadamedeR-Ihadretainedtheremiseonpurposeforit,anditwouldnothavemortifiedmyvanitytohavehadaservantsowelldress\'dasLaFleurwas,tohavegotupbehindit:Inevercouldhaveworsesparedhim。 ButwemustFEEL,notargueintheseembarrassments-ThesonsanddaughtersofServicepartwithliberty,butnotwithnature,intheircontracts;theyarefleshandblood,andhavetheirlittlevanitiesandwishesinthemidstofthehouseofbondage,aswellastheirtask-masters;-nodoubt,theyhavesettheirself-denialsataprice,-andtheirexpectationsaresounreasonable,thatI wouldoftendisappointthem,butthattheirconditionputsitsomuchinmypowertodoit。 BEHOLD,-BEHOLD,IAMTHYSERVANT-disarmsmeatonceofthepowersofamaster- Thoushaltgo,LaFleur!saidI- Andwhatmistress,LaFleur,saidI,canstthouhavepickedupinsolittleatimeatParis?LaFleurlaidhishanduponhisbreast,andsaid\'twasaPETITEDEMOISELLE,atMonsieurleCountdeB-\'s- LaFleurhadaheartmadeforsociety;and,tospeakthetruthofhim,letasfewoccasionssliphimashismaster;-sothatsomehoworother,-buthow,-heavenknows,-hehadconnectedhimselfwiththedemoiselleuponthelandingofthestaircase,duringthetimeIwastakenupwithmypassport;andastherewastimeenoughformetowintheCounttomyinterest,LaFleurhadcontrivedtomakeitdotowinthemaidtohis。Thefamily,itseems,wastobeatParisthatday,andhehadmadeapartywithher,andtwoorthreemoreoftheCount\'shousehold,upontheboulevards。 Happypeople!thatonceaweekatleastaresuretolaydownallyourcarestogether,anddanceandsingandsportawaytheweightsofgrievance,whichbowdownthespiritofothernationstotheearth。 THEFRAGMENT。PARIS。 LAFLEURhadleftmesomethingtoamusemyselfwithforthedaymorethanIhadbargain\'dfor,orcouldhaveenter\'deitherintohisheadormine。 Hehadbroughtthelittleprintofbutteruponacurrantleaf:andasthemorningwaswarm,andhehadagoodsteptobringit,hehadbegg\'dasheetofwastepapertoputbetwixtthecurrantleafandhishand-Asthatwasplatesufficient,Ibadehimlayituponthetableasitwas;andasIresolvedtostaywithinallday,I orderedhimtocallupontheTRAITEUR,tobespeakmydinner,andleavemetobreakfastbymyself。 WhenIhadfinishedthebutter,Ithrewthecurrant-leafoutofthewindow,andwasgoingtodothesamebythewastepaper;-butstoppingtoreadalinefirst,andthatdrawingmeontoasecondandthird,-Ithoughtitbetterworth;soIshutthewindow,anddrawingachairuptoit,Isatdowntoreadit。 ItwasintheoldFrenchofRabelais\'stime,andforaughtIknowmighthavebeenwrotebyhim:-itwasmoreoverinaGothicletter,andthatsofadedandgoneoffbydampsandlengthoftime,itcostmeinfinitetroubletomakeanythingofit-Ithrewitdown;andthenwrotealettertoEugenius;-thenItookitupagain,andembroiledmypatiencewithitafresh;-andthentocurethat,I wrotealettertoEliza-Stillitkeptholdofme;andthedifficultyofunderstandingitincreasedbutthedesire。 Igotmydinner;andafterIhadenlightenedmymindwithabottleofBurgundy;Iatitagain,-and,aftertwoorthreehoursporinguponit,withalmostasdeepattentionaseverGruterorJacobSpondiduponanonsensicalinscription,IthoughtImadesenseofit; buttomakesureofit,thebestway,Iimagined,wastoturnitintoEnglish,andseehowitwouldlookthen;-soIwentonleisurely,asatriflingmandoes,sometimeswritingasentence,- thentakingaturnortwo,-andthenlookinghowtheworldwent,outofthewindow;sothatitwasnineo\'clockatnightbeforeI haddoneit-Ithenbeganandreaditasfollows。 THEFRAGMENT。PARIS- NOW,asthenotary\'swifedisputedthepointwiththenotarywithtoomuchheat,-Iwish,saidthenotary,(throwingdowntheparchment)thattherewasanothernotaryhereonlytosetdownandattestallthis—— Andwhatwouldyoudothen,Monsieur?saidshe,risinghastilyup-Thenotary\'swifewasalittlefumeofawoman,andthenotarythoughtitwelltoavoidahurricanebyamildreply-I wouldgo,answeredhe,tobed-Youmaygotothedevil,answer\'dthenotary\'swife。 Nowtherehappeningtobebutonebedinthehouse,theothertworoomsbeingunfurnished,asisthecustomatParis,andthenotarynotcaringtolieinthesamebedwithawomanwhohadbutthatmomentsenthimpellmelltothedevil,wentforthwithhishatandcaneandshortcloak,thenightbeingverywindy,andwalk\'dout,illatease,towardsthePontNeuf。 Ofallthebridgeswhicheverwerebuilt,thewholeworldwhohavepass\'doverthePontNeufmustown,thatitisthenoblest,-thefinest,-thegrandest,-thelightest,-thelongest,-thebroadest,thateverconjoin\'dlandandlandtogetheruponthefaceoftheterraqueousglobe。 [BYTHISITSEEMSASIFTHEAUTHOROFTHEFRAGMENTHADNOTBEENA FRENCHMAN。] TheworstfaultwhichdivinesandthedoctorsoftheSorbonnecanallegeagainstitis,thatifthereisbutacapfullofwindinoraboutParis,\'tismoreblasphemouslySACREDIEU\'Dtherethaninanyotherapertureofthewholecity,-andwithreasongoodandcogent,Messieurs;foritcomesagainstyouwithoutcryingGARDE D\'EAU,andwithsuchunpremeditablepuffs,thatofthefewwhocrossitwiththeirhatson,notoneinfiftybuthazardstwolivresandahalf,whichisitsfullworth。 Thepoornotary,justashewaspassingbythesentry,instinctivelyclapp\'dhiscanetothesideofit,butinraisingitup,thepointofhiscanecatchingholdoftheloopofthesentinel\'shat,hoisteditoverthespikesoftheballustradeclearintotheSeine—— \'TISANILLWIND,saidaboatman,whocatchedit,WHICHBLOWS NOBODYANYGOOD。 Thesentry,beingaGascon,incontinentlytwirleduphiswhiskers,andlevell\'dhisarquebuss。 Arquebussesinthosedayswentoffwithmatches;andanoldwoman\'spaperlanternattheendofthebridgehappeningtobeblownout,shehadborrow\'dthesentry\'smatchtolightit:-itgaveamoment\'stimefortheGascon\'sbloodtoruncool,andturntheaccidentbettertohisadvantage-\'TISANILLWIND,saidhe,catchingoffthenotary\'scastor,andlegitimatingthecapturewiththeboatman\'sadage。 Thepoornotarycrossedthebridge,andpassingalongtheRuedeDauphineintothefauxbourgsofSt。Germain,lamentedhimselfashewalkedalonginthismanner:- LucklessmanthatIam!saidthenotary,tobethesportofhurricanesallmydays:-tobeborntohavethestormofilllanguagelevell\'dagainstmeandmyprofessionwhereverIgo;tobeforcedintomarriagebythethunderofthechurchtoatempestofawoman;-tobedrivenforthoutofmyhousebydomesticwinds,anddespoil\'dofmycastorbypontificones!-tobehere,bareheaded,inawindynight,atthemercyoftheebbsandflowsofaccidents!- WhereamItolaymyhead?-Miserableman!whatwindinthetwo- and-thirtypointsofthewholecompasscanblowuntothee,asitdoestotherestofthyfellow-creatures,good? Asthenotarywaspassingonbyadarkpassage,complaininginthissort,avoicecall\'douttoagirl,tobidherrunforthenextnotary-Nowthenotarybeingthenext,andavailinghimselfofhissituation,walk\'dupthepassagetothedoor,andpassingthroughanoldsortofasaloon,wasusher\'dintoalargechamber,dismantledofeverythingbutalongmilitarypike,-abreastplate,-arustyoldsword,andbandoleer,hungup,equidistant,infourdifferentplacesagainstthewall。 Anoldpersonagewhohadheretoforebeenagentleman,andunlessdecayoffortunetaintsthebloodalongwithit,wasagentlemanatthattime,laysupportinghisheaduponhishandinhisbed;alittletablewithataperburningwassetclosebesideit,andclosebythetablewasplacedachair:-thenotarysathimdowninit;andpullingouthisinkhornandasheetortwoofpaperwhichhehadinhispocket,heplacedthembeforehim;anddippinghispeninhisink,andleaninghisbreastoverthetable,hedisposedeverythingtomakethegentleman\'slastwillandtestamentAlas!MONSIEURLENOTAIRE,saidthegentleman,raisinghimselfupalittle,Ihavenothingtobequeath,whichwillpaytheexpenseofbequeathing,exceptthehistoryofmyself,whichIcouldnotdieinpeace,unlessIleftitasalegacytotheworld:theprofitsarisingoutofitIbequeathtoyouforthepainsoftakingitfromme-Itisastorysouncommon,itmustbereadbyallmankind;- itwillmakethefortunesofyourhouse-Thenotarydipp\'dhispenintohisinkhorn-AlmightyDirectorofeveryeventinmylife!saidtheoldgentleman,lookingupearnestly,andraisinghishandstowardsheaven,-Thou,whosehandhasledmeonthroughsuchalabyrinthofstrangepassagesdownintothissceneofdesolation,assistthedecayingmemoryofanold,infirm,andbroken-heartedman;-directmytonguebythespiritofthyeternaltruth,thatthisstrangermaysetdownnoughtbutwhatiswritteninthatBOOK,fromwhoserecords,saidhe,claspinghishandstogether,Iamtobecondemn\'doracquitted!-thenotaryheldupthepointofhispenbetwixtthetaperandhiseye- Itisastory,MONSIEURLENOTAIRE,saidthegentleman,whichwillrouseupeveryaffectioninnature;-itwillkillthehumane,andtouchtheheartofCrueltyherselfwithpity—— Thenotarywasinflamedwithadesiretobegin,andputhispenathirdtimeintohisink-horn-andtheoldgentleman,turningalittlemoretowardsthenotary,begantodictatehisstoryinthesewords:—— Andwhereistherestofit,LaFleur?saidI,ashejustthenenter\'dtheroom。 THEFRAGMENT,ANDTHEBOUQUET。(1)PARIS。 WHENLaFleurcameupclosetothetable,andwasmadetocomprehendwhatIwanted,hetoldmetherewereonlytwoothersheetsofit,whichhehadwrappedroundthestalksofabouquettokeepittogether,whichhehadpresentedtothedemoiselleupontheboulevards-Thenprithee,LaFleur,saidI,stepbacktohertotheCountdeB-\'shotel,andseeifthoucanstgetit-Thereisnodoubtofit,saidLaFleur;-andawayheflew。 Inaverylittletimethepoorfellowcamebackquiteoutofbreath,withdeepermarksofdisappointmentinhislooksthancouldarisefromthesimpleirreparabilityofthefragment。JUSTECIEL! inlessthantwominutesthatthepoorfellowhadtakenhislasttenderfarewellofher-hisfaithlessmistresshadgivenhisGAGE D\'AMOURtooneoftheCount\'sfootmen,-thefootmantoayoungsempstress,-andthesempstresstoafiddler,withmyfragmentattheendofit-Ourmisfortuneswereinvolvedtogether:-Igaveasigh,-andLaFleurechoeditbackagaintomyear- Howperfidious!criedLaFleur-Howunlucky!saidI- Ishouldnothavebeenmortified,Monsieur,quothLaFleur,ifshehadlostit-NorI,LaFleur,saidI,hadIfoundit。 WhetherIdidornowillbeseenhereafter。 THEACTOFCHARITY。PARIS。 THEmanwhoeitherdisdainsorfearstowalkupadarkentrymaybeanexcellentgoodman,andfitforahundredthings,buthewillnotdotomakeagoodSentimentalTraveller-IcountlittleofthemanythingsIseepassatbroadnoonday,inlargeandopenstreets-Natureisshy,andhatestoactbeforespectators;butinsuchanunobservedcorneryousometimesseeasingleshortsceneofhersworthallthesentimentsofadozenFrenchplayscompoundedtogether,-andyettheyareabsolutelyfine;-andwheneverIhaveamorebrilliantaffairuponmyhandsthancommon,astheysuitapreacherjustaswellasahero,Igenerallymakemysermonoutof\'em;-andforthetext,-\"Cappadocia,PontusandAsia,PhrygiaandPamphylia,\"-isasgoodasanyoneintheBible。 ThereisalongdarkpassageissuingoutfromtheOperaComiqueintoanarrowstreet;\'tistrodbyafewwhohumblywaitforaFIACRE,(2)orwishtogetoffquietlyo\'footwhentheoperaisdone。Attheendofit,towardsthetheatre,\'tislightedbyasmallcandle,thelightofwhichisalmostlostbeforeyougethalf-waydown,butnearthedoor-\'tismoreforornamentthanuse: youseeitasafixedstaroftheleastmagnitude;itburns,-butdoeslittlegoodtotheworld,thatweknowof。 Inreturningalongthispassage,Idiscerned,asIapproachedwithinfiveorsixpacesofthedoor,twoladiesstandingarm-in- armwiththeirbacksagainstthewall,waiting,asIimagined,foraFIACRE;-astheywerenextthedoor,Ithoughttheyhadapriorright;soedgedmyselfupwithinayardorlittlemoreofthem,andquietlytookmystand-Iwasinblack,andscarceseen。 Theladynextmewasatallleanfigureofawoman,ofaboutthirty-six;theotherofthesamesizeandmake,ofaboutforty: therewasnomarkofwifeorwidowinanyonepartofeitherofthem;-theyseem\'dtobetwouprightvestalsisters,unsappedbycaresses,unbrokeinuponbytendersalutations-Icouldhavewish\'dtohavemadethemhappy:-theirhappinesswasdestin\'dthatnight,tocomefromanotherquarter。