Falconsawdeathinhisface；gaveashriek，drewhisrevolver，andfiredathimwithaslittleaimashehadatthelioness；thenmadefortheopenwindow。Stainesseizedachair，followedhim，andhurleditathim；andthechairandthemanwentthroughthewindowtogether，andthentherewasastrangethudheardoutside。
Rosagavealoudscream，andswoonedaway。
Staineslaidhiswifeflatonthefloor，gotthewomenabouther，andatlastshebegantogivetheusualsignsofreturninglife。
Stainessaidtotheoldestwomanthere，\"Ifsheseesme，shewillgooffagain。Carryhertoherroom；andtellher，bydegrees，thatIamalive。\"
AllthistimePapaLusignanhadsattremblingandwhimperinginachair，moaning，\"Thisisapainfulscene——verypainful。\"Butatlastanideastruckhim——\"WHY，YOUHAVEROBBEDTHEOFFICE!\"
ScarcelywasMrs。Stainesoutoftheroom，whenaflydroveup，andthiswasimmediatelyfollowedbyviolentandcontinuousscreamingcloseunderthewindow。
\"Oh，dear!\"sighedPapaLusignan。
Theyrandown，andfoundFalconimpaledatfulllengthonthespikesofthevilla，andPhoebescreamingoverhim，andtryinginvaintolifthimoffthem。Hehadstruggledalittle，insilentterror，buthadthenfaintedfromfearandlossofblood，andlyingratherinsidetherails，whichwerehigh，hecouldnotbeextricatedfromtheoutside。
Assoonashismiserableconditionwasdiscovered，theservantsrandownintothekitchen，andsouptotherailsbytheareasteps。
Theserailshadcaughthim；onehadgonecleanthroughhisarm，theotherhadpenetratedthefleshypartofthethigh，andathirdpiercedhisear。
Theygothimoff；buthewasinsensible，andtheplacedrenchedwithhisblood。
PhoebeclutchedStainesbythearm。\"Letmeknowtheworst，\"saidshe。\"Ishedead?\"
Stainesexaminedhim，andsaid\"No。\"
\"Canyousavehim?\"
\"I?\"
\"Yes。Whocan，ifyoucannot?Oh，havemercyonme!\"andshewentonherkneestohim，andputherforeheadonhisknees。
Hewastouchedbyhersimplefaith；andthenobletraditionsofhisprofessionsidedwithhisgratitudetothisinjuredwoman。\"Mypoorfriend，\"saidhe，\"Iwilldomybest，forYOURsake。\"
Hetookimmediatestepsforstanchingtheblood；andtheflycarriedPhoebeandhervillaintotheinnatGravesend。
Falconcametoontheroad；butfindinghimselfalonewithPhoebe，shammedunconsciousnessofeverythingbutpain。
Staines，beingthoroughlyenragedwithRosa，yetrememberinghissolemnvownevertoabuseheragain，sawherfather，andtoldhimtotellherheshouldthinkoverherconductquietly，notwishingtobeharderuponherthanshedeserved。
Rosa，whohadbeenscreaming，andcryingforjoy，eversinceshecametohersenses，wasnotsomuchafflictedatthismessageasonemighthaveexpected。Hewasalive，andallthingselseweretrifles。
Nevertheless，whendayafterdaywentby，andnotevenalinefromChristopher，shebegantofearhewouldcastheroffentirely；themoresoassheheardhewasnowandthenatGravesendtovisitMrs。
Falconattheinn。
Whilematterswerethus，UnclePhilipburstonherlikeabomb。
\"Heisalive!heisalive!heisalive!\"Andtheyhadacuddleoverit。
\"Oh，UnclePhilip!Haveyouseenhim?\"
\"Seenhim?Yes。Hecaughtmeonthehop，justasIcameinfromItaly。Itookhimforaghost。\"
\"Oh，weren\'tyoufrightened?\"
\"Notabit。Idon\'tmindghosts。I\'dhavehalfadozentodinnereveryday，ifImightchoose\'em。Icouldn\'tstandstupidones。
ButIsay，histemperisn\'timprovedbyallthisdying:heisinanawfulragewithyou；andwhatfor?\"
\"Ouncle!whatfor?BecauseI\'mthevilestofwomen!\"
\"Vilestoffiddlesticks!It\'shisfault，notyours。Shouldn\'thavedied。It\'salwaysadangerousexperiment。\"
\"Ishalldieifhewillnotforgiveme。Hekeepsawayfrommeandfromhischild。\"
\"I\'lltellyou。Heheard，inGravesend，yourbannshadbeencried:
thathasmovedthepeevishfellow\'sbile。\"
\"Itwasdonewithoutmyconsent。Papawilltellyouso；and，O
uncle，ifyouknewthearts，theforgedletterinmydarling\'shand，thewayhewroughtonme!Ovillain!villain!Uncle，forgiveyourpoorsillyniece，thattheworldistoowickedandtoocleverforhertolivein。\"
\"Becauseyouaretoogoodandinnocent，\"saidUnclePhilip。
\"There，don\'tyoubedown-hearted。I\'llsoonbringyoutwotogetheragain——acoupleofninnies。I\'lltellyouwhatisthefirstthing:youmustcomeandlivewithme。Comeatonce，bagandbaggage。Hewon\'tshowhere，thesulkybrute。\"
PhilipStaineshadalargehouseinCavendishSquare，acrustyoldpatient，likehimself，hadlefthim。Itwashishumortoliveinacornerofthismansion，thoughthewholewascapitallyfurnishedbyhisjudiciouspurchasesatauctions。
HegaveRosaandherboyandhisnursetheentirefirstfloor，andtoldhershewasthereforlife。\"Lookhere，\"saidhe，\"thislastaffairhasopenedmyeyes。Suchwomenasyouarethesweetenersofexistence。Youleavemyroofnomore。Yourhusbandwillmakethesamediscovery。Lethimrunabout，andbemiserableabit。Hewillhavetocometobook。\"
Sheshookherheadsadly。
\"MyChristopherwillneversayaharshwordtome。Alltheworseforme。Hewillquietlyabandonacreaturesoinferiortohim。\"
\"Stuff!\"
Now，shewasalwaysrunningtothewindow，inhopethatChristopherwouldcallonhisuncle，andthatshemightseehim；andonedayshegaveascreamsoeloquent，Philipknewwhatitmeant。\"Getyoubehindthatscreen，youandyourboy，\"saidhe，\"andbeasstillasmice。Stop!givemethatletterthescoundrelforged，andthering。\"
Thiswashardlydone，andRosaoutofsight，andtremblingfromheadtofoot，whenChristopherwasannounced。Philipreceivedhimveryaffectionately，butwastednotime。
\"BeentoKentVillayet?\"
\"No，\"wasthegrimreply。
\"Whynot?\"
\"BecauseIhaveswornnevertosayanangrywordtoheragain；and，ifIwastogothere，Ishouldsayagoodmanyangryones。Oh，whenIthinkthatherfollydrovemetosea，todomybestforher，andthatIwasnearerdeathforthatwomanthanevermanwas，andlostmyreasonforher，andwentthroughtoilandprivations，hunger，exile，mainlyforher，andthentofindthebannscriedinopenchurch，withthatscoundrel!——saynomore，uncle。Ishallneverreproachher，andneverforgiveher。\"
\"Shewasdeceived。\"
\"Idon\'tdoubtthat；butnobodyhasarighttobesogreatafoolasallthat。\"
\"Itwasnotherfolly，butherinnocence，thatwasimposedon。Youaphilosopher，andnotknowthatwisdomitselfissometimesimposedon，anddeceivedbycunningfolly!HaveyouforgottenyourMilton?——
\"\'AtWisdom\'sgate，Suspicionsleeps，Anddeemsnoillwherenoillseems。\'
Come，come!areyousureyouarenotalittletoblame?Didyouwritehomethemomentyoufoundyouwerenotdead?\"
Christophercoloredhigh。
\"Evidentlynot，\"saidthekeenoldman。\"Ah，myfinefellow!haveIfoundtheflawinyourownarmor?\"
\"Ididwrong，butitwasforher。Isinnedforher。Icouldnotbearhertobewithoutmoney，andIknewtheinsurance——Isinnedforher。ShehassinnedAGAINSTme。\"
\"AndshehadmuchbetterhavesinnedagainstGod，hadn\'tshe?Heismoreforgivingthanweperfectcreaturesthatcheatinsurancecompanies。Andso，myfinefellow，youhidthetruthfromherfortwoorthreemonths。\"
Noanswer。
\"Strikeoffthosetwoorthreemonths；wouldthebannshaveeverbeencried?\"
\"Well，uncle，\"saidChristopher，hardpressed，\"Iamgladshehasgotachampion；andIhopeyouwillalwayskeepyoureyeonher。\"
\"Imeanto。\"
\"Good-morning。\"
\"No；don\'tbeinahurry。Ihavesomethingelsetosay，notsoprovoking。Doyouknowtheartsbywhichshewasmadetobelieveyouwishedhertomarryagain?\"
\"Iwishedhertomarryagain!Areyoumad，uncle?\"
\"Whosehandwritingisonthisenvelope?\"
\"Mine，tobesure。\"
\"Now，readtheletter。\"
Christopherreadtheforgedletter。
\"Oh，monstrous!\"
\"Thiswasgivenherwithyourrubyring，andatalesoartfulthatnothingwereadaboutthedevilcomesnearit。Thiswaswhatdidit。TheEarlofTadcasterbroughthertitle，andwealth，andlove。\"
\"What，hetoo!ThelittlecubIsaved，andlostmyselffor——blankhim!blankhim!\"
\"Why，youstupidninny!youforgetyouweredead；andhecouldnothelplovingher。Howcouldhe?Well，butyouseesherefusedhim。
Andwhy?becausehecamewithoutaforgedletterfromYOU。Doyoudoubtherloveforyou?\"
\"OfcourseIdo。SheneverlovedmeasIlovedher。\"
\"Christopher，don\'tyousaythatbeforeme，oryouandIshallquarrel。Poorgirl!shelay，inmysight，asneardeathforyouasyouwereforher。I\'llshowyousomething。\"
Hewenttoacabinet，andtookoutasilverpaper；heunpinnedit，andlaidRosa\'sbeautifulblackhairuponherhusband\'sknees。
\"Lookatthat，youhard-heartedbrute!\"heroaredtoChristopher，whosat，anythingbuthard-hearted，hiseyesfillingfast，atthesadproofofhiswife\'sloveandsuffering。
Rosacouldbearnomore。Shecameoutwithherboyinherhand。
\"Ouncle，donotspeakharshlytohim，oryouwillkillmequite!\"
Shecameacrosstheroom，apictureoftimidityandpenitence，withherwholeeloquentbodybentforwardatanangle。Shekneeledathisknees，withstreamingeyes，andheldherboyuptohim:\"Pleadforyourpoormother，mydarling。Shemournsherfault，andwillneverexcuseit。\"
Thecausewassoondecided。AllPhilip\'slogicwasnothing，comparedwithmightynature。Christophergaveonegreatsob，andtookhisdarlingtohisheart，withoutoneword；andheandRosaclungtogether，andcriedovereachother。Philipslippedoutoftheroom，andlefttherestoredonestogether。
Ihavesomethingmoretosayaboutmyheroandheroine，butmustfirstdealwithothercharacters，notwhollyuninterestingtothereader，Ihope。
Dr。StainesdirectedPhoebeFalconhowtotreatherhusband。Nomedicine，nostimulants；verywholesomefood，inmoderation，andthetemperatureofthebodyregulatedbytepidwater。Undertheseinstructions，theinjuredbutstilldevotedwifewastherealhealer。Hepulledthrough，butwaslameforlife，andridiculouslylame，forhewentwithaspringhalt，——asortofhop-and-go-onethatmadethegirlslaugh，andvexedAdonis。
Phoebefoundthediamonds，andofferedthemalltoStaines，inexpiationofhisvillany。\"See，\"shesaid，\"hehasonlyspentone。\"
Stainessaidhewasgladofit，forhersake，forhemustbejusttohisownfamily。Hesoldthemforthreethousandtwohundredpounds；butforthebigdiamondhegottwelvethousandpounds，andIbelieveitwasworthdoublethemoney。
Countingthetwosums，anddeductingsixhundredforthestoneMr。
Falconhadembezzled，hegaveheroverseventhousandpounds。
Shestaredathim，andchangedcoloratsolargeasum。\"ButI
havenoclaimonthat，sir。\"
\"Thatisagoodjoke，\"saidhe。\"Why，youandIarepartnersinthewholething——youandIandDick。WasitnotwithhishorseandrifleIboughtthebigdiamond?Poordear，honest，manlyDick!
No，themoneyishonestlyyours，Mrs。Falcon；butdon\'ttrustapennytoyourhusband。\"
\"Hewillneverseeit，sir。Ishalltakehimback，andgivehimallhisheartcanaskfor，withthis；buthewillbelittlemorethanaservantinthehousenow，aslongasDickissingle；Iknowthat；\"andshecouldstillcryatthehumiliationofhervillain。
Stainesmadeherpromisetowritetohim；andshedidwritehimasweet，womanlyletter，tosaythattheyweremakinganenormousfortune，andhopedtoendtheirdaysinEngland。Dicksenthiskindloveandthanks。
Iwilladd，whatsheonlysaidbyimplication，thatshewashappyafterall。Shestillcontrivedtolovethethingshecouldnotrespect。Once，whenanofficiousfriendpitiedherforherhusband\'slameness，shesaid，\"Findmeafacelikehis。Thelamerthebetter；hecan\'trunafterthegirls，likeSOME。\"
Dr。StainescalledonLadyCicelyTreherne；thefootmanstared。Helefthiscard。
Aweekafterwards，shecalledonhim。Shehadapinktingeinhercheeks，ageneralanimation，andherfacefullofbrightnessandarchness。
\"Blessme!\"saidhebluntly，\"isthisyou?Howyouareimproved!\"
\"Yes，\"saidshe；\"andIamcometothankyouforyourpwescwiption:
Ifollowedittothelettaa。\"
\"Woeisme!Ihaveforgottenit。\"
\"Youdiwectedmetomawwyaniceman。\"
\"Never:Ihateaniceman。\"
\"No，no——anIwishman:andIhavedoneit。\"
\"Goodgracious!youdon\'tmeanthat!Imustbemorecautiousinmyprescriptions。Afterall，itseemstoagree。\"
\"Admiwably。\"
\"Helovesyou?\"
\"Todistwaction。\"
\"Heamusesyou?\"
\"Pwodigiously。Comeandsee。\"
Dr。andMrs。StaineslivewithUnclePhilip。Theinsurancemoneyisreturned，butthediamondmoneymakesthemveryeasy。Stainesfollowshisprofessionnowundergreatadvantages:anoblehouse，rentfree；thecuriositythatattachestoamanwhohasbeencantedoutofashipinmid-ocean，andlivestotellit；andthenLordTadcaster，marriedintoanothernoblehouse，swearsbyhim，andtalksofhim；sodoesLadyCicelyMunster，lateTreherne；andwhensuchfriendsasthesearewarm，itmakesaphysicianthecentreofanimportantclientele；buthisbestfriendofallishisunflaggingindustry，andhistrulywonderfuldiagnosis，whichresemblesdivination。Hehastheballathisfeet，andaboveall，thatwithoutwhichworldlysuccesssoonpalls，ahappyhome，afiresidewarmwithsympathy。
Mrs。Stainesisanadmiring，sympathizingwife，andanadmirablehousekeeper。Shestilluttersinadvertenciesnowandthen，commitsnewerrorsatoddtimes，butneverrepeatsthemwhenexposed。
Observingwhichdocility，UnclePhiliphasbeenheardtoexpressafearthat，intwentyyears，shewillbethewisestwomaninEngland。\"But，thankheaven!\"headds，\"Ishallbegonebeforethat。\"
Herconductandconversationaffordthiscynicconstantfoodforobservation；andhehasdeliveredhimselforacularlyatvariousstagesofthestudy:butIcannotsaythathisobservations，takenasawhole，presentthatconsistencywhichentitlesthemtoberegardedasabodyofphilosophy。Examples:InthesecondmonthafterMrs。Stainescametolivewithhim，hedeliveredhimselfthus:\"MynieceRosaisananomaly。Shegivesyoutheimpressionsheisshallow。Mindyoureye:inonemomentshewilltakeyououtofyourdepthoranyman\'sdepth。SheislikethosecountrystreamsIusedtofishforpikewhenIwasyoung；yougoalong，seeingthebottomeverywhere；butpresentlyyoucometoacorner，anditisfifteendeepallinamoment，andsouseyougooverheadandears:that\'smynieceRosa。\"
Insixmonthshehadgottothis——and，mindyou，eachsuccessivedogmawasdeliveredinaloud，aggressivetone，andinsublimeoblivionoftheprecedingoracle——\"MynieceRosaisthemostartfulwoman。(Youmayhaw!haw!haw!asmuchasyoulike。Youhavenotfoundoutherlittlegame——Ihave。)Whatistheaimofallwomen?
Tobebelovedbyanunconscionablenumberofpeople。Well，shesetsupforasimpleton，andsodisarmsallthebrilliantpeople，andtheyloveher。Everybodylovesher。Justyouputherdowninaroomwithsixcleverwomen，andyouwillseewhoisthefavorite。
Shelooksasshallowasapond，andsheisasdeepastheocean。\"
Attheendoftheyearhethrewoffthemaskaltogether。\"Thegreatsweetenerofaman\'slife，\"saidhe，\"is\'asimpleton。\'I
shallnotgoabroadanymore；myhousehasbecomeattractive:I\'vegotasimpleton。WhenIhaveaheadache，hereyesfillwithtenderconcern，andshehoversaboutmeandpestersmewithpillows:whenIamcrosswithher，sheisafraidIamill。WhenIdie，andleaveheralotofmoney，shewillhowlformonths，andsayIdon\'twanthismoney:\'Iwaw-waw-waw-waw-wantmyUnclePhilip，toloveme，andscoldme。\'Onedayshetoldme，withasigh，Ihadn\'tlecturedherforamonth。\'IamafraidIhaveoffendedyou，\'saysshe，\'orelsewornyouout，dear。\'WhenIamwell，givemeasimpleton，tomakemelaugh。WhenIamill，givemeasimpletontosoothemewithherinnocenttenderness。Asimpletonshallwipethedewsofdeath，andclosemyeyes:andwhenIcrosstheriverofdeath，letmebemetbyabandoftheheavenlyhost，whowereallsimpletonshereonearth，andtoogoodforsuchahole，sonowtheyareinheaven，andtheirgarmentsalwayswhite——becausetherearenolaundressesthere。\"
Arrivedatthispoint，theAnglo-Saxonracewillretire，grinning，tofreshpastures，andleavethischampionof\"aSimpleton，\"tothunderparadoxesinadesert。
