Thereappearedanakedhandandanarm，fromtheelbowdown，beatinguponthefloortillthehousedidshakeagain。\"TheFiendnextexclaimedthatifthecandlewereputouthewouldappearintheshapeofFireballs。\"
Letitbeobservedthatnow，forthefirsttime，welearnthatallthesceneoccurredincandle-light。Theappearanceoffloatingballsoffireisfrequent(ifwemaybelievethecurrentreports)
atspiritualisticseances。Butwhatastrange，ill-digestedtaleisMr。Sinclair\'s!Heletsslipanexpressionwhichshowsthattheinvestigatorswereinoneroom，theBut，whiletheFiendwasdivertinghimselfintheotherroom，theBen!TheFiend(nobodygoingBen)nextchaffedagentlemanwhoworeafashionablebroad-
brimmedhat，\"whereuponhepresentlyimaginedthathefeltapairofshearsgoingabouthishat，\"buttherewasnosuchmatter。Thevoiceaskedforapieceofbread，whichtheotherswereeating，andsaidthemaidgavehimacrustinthemorning。Thisshedenied，butadmittedthatsomethinghad\"clicked\"apieceofbreadoutofherhand。
Theseanceended，theDevilslappingasafeportionofthechildren\'sbodies，withasoundresemblingapplause。Aftermanymonthsofthisreallyannoyingconduct，poorCampbelllaidhiscasebeforethePresbyters，in1655，thirtyyearsbeforethedateofpublication。Soa\"solemnhumiliation\"wasactuallyheldallthroughtheboundsofthesynod。ButtolittlepurposedidGlenlucesitinsackclothandashes。Thegoodwife\'splatewassnatchedawaybeforeherveryeyes，andthenthrownbackather。
Insimilar\"stirs，\"describedbyaCatholicmissionaryinPerusoonafterPizarro\'sconquest，thecupofanIndianchiefwasliftedupbyaninvisiblehand，andsetdownempty。Inthatcase，too，stoneswerethrown，asbytheDevilofGlenluce。
Andwhatwastheendofitall？Mr。Sinclairhasnoteventakenthetroubletoinquire。Itseemsbysomeconjurationorother，theDevilsufferedhimselftobeputaway，andgavetheweaverahabitation。Theweaver\"hasbeenaveryOddmanthatenduredsolongthesemarvellousdisturbances。\"
ThisisthetalewhichMr。Sinclairoffers，withoutmentioninghisauthority。HecomplainsthatDr。HenryMorehadplagiarisedit，fromhisbookofHydrostatics。Twopointsmayberemarked。First:
modernPsychicalInquirersaremoreparticularaboutevidencethanMr。Sinclair。Notfornothingdoweliveinanageofscience。
Next:thestoriesofthese\"stirs\"arealwaysmuchthesameeverywhere，inGlenluce，atTedworth，wheretheDrummercame，inPeru，inWesley\'shouse，inheroicIceland，whenGlam，thevampire，\"rodetheroofs。\"Itiscurioustospeculateonhowthetraditionofmakingthemselveslittlenuisancesinthisparticularmannerhasbeenhandeddownamongchildren，ifwearetosupposethatchildrendothetrick。Lastautumnafarmer\'shouseinScotlandwasannoyedexactlyastheweaver\'shomewas，andthatwithinaquarterofamileofawell-knownmanofscience。Themattressofthefatherwastenantedbysomethingthatwriggledlikeasnake。Themattresswasopened，nothingwasfound，andthedisturbancebeganagainassoonasthebedwasrestoredtoitsplace。Thisoccurredwhenthefarmer\'schildrenhadbeensenttoadistance。
Onecannotbutbeperplexedbytheproblemwhichthesetalessuggest。Almostbareofevidenceastheyare，theirgreatnumber，theirwidediffusion，inmanycountriesandintimesancientandmodern，mayestablishsomesubstratumoftruth。Scottmentionsacaseinwhichtheimposturewasdetectedbyasheriff\'sofficer。
Butarecentanecdotemakesmealmostdistrustthedetection。
SomeEnglishpeople，havingtakenacountryhouseinIreland，werevexedbytheusualrappings，stone-throwings，andalltherestofthebusiness。TheysenttoDublinfortwodetectives，whoarrived。
Ontheirfirstnight，theladyofthehousewentintoaroom，whereshefoundoneofthepolicemenasleepinhischair。Beingalivelyperson，sherappedtwiceorthriceonthetable。Heawakened，andsaid:\"Ah，soIsuspected。Itwashardlyworthwhile，madam，tobringussofarforthis。\"Andnextdaytheworthymenwithdrewindudgeon，butquiteconvincedthattheyhaddiscoveredtheagentinthehauntings。
Buttheyhadnot!
Ontheotherhand，Scott(whohadseenoneghost，ifnottwo，andhadhearda\"warning\")statesthatMissAnneRobinsonmanagedtheStockwelldisturbancesbytyinghorsehairstoplatesandlightarticles，whichthendemeanedthemselvesasifpossessed。
Herewehaveveracausa，ademonstrablecauseof\"stirs，\"anditmaybeinferredthatalltheotherhistoricaloccurrenceshadasimilarorigin。Wehave，then，onlytobeinterestedinthepersistenttradition，inaccordancewithwhichmischievouspersonsalwaysdoexactlythesamesortofthing。Butthisisamereexampleoftheidentityofhumannature。
ItiscurioustoseehowMr。SinclairplumeshimselfonthisDevilofGlenluceasa\"moliminousrampier\"againstirreligion。\"ThisoneRelationisworthallthepricethatcanbegivenfortheBook。\"ThepriceIhavegivenforthevolumeisTenGoldenGuineas，andperhapstheFoulThiefofGlenluceishardlyworththemoney。
\"IbelieveiftheObdurestAtheistamongmenwouldseriouslyandingoodearnestconsiderthatrelation，andponderallthecircumstancesthereof，hewouldpresentlycryout，asaDr。ofPhysickdid，hearingastorylessconsiderable，\'IbelieveIhavebeeninthewrongallthetime——ifthisbetrue。\'\"
Mr。SinclairisalsoabelieverintheWoodstockdevils，onwhichScottfoundedhisnovel。HedoesnotgivetheexplanationthatGilesSharp，aliasJosephCollinsofOxford，aliasFunnyJoe，wasalltheDevilinthataffair。ScotthadreadthestoryofFunnyJoe，butcouldneverremember\"whetheritexistsinaseparatecollection，orwhereitistobelookedfor。\"
Indifferenttoevidence，Mr。SinclairconfutestheObdurestAtheistswiththePiedPiperofHamelin，withtheyoungladyfromHowells\'\"Letters，\"whosehouse，likeRahab\'s，was\"onthecitywall，\"andwiththeghostoftheMajorwhoappearedtotheCaptain(ashehadpromised)，andscoldedhimfornotkeepinghisswordclean。HealsogivesusMajorWeir，atfulllength，convincingusthat，asWilliamErskinesaid，\"TheMajorwasadisgustingfellow，amostungentlemanlikecharacter。\"Scott，ontheotherhand，remarked，longbefore\"Waverley，\"\"ifIeverweretobecomeawriterofproseromances，IthinkIwouldchooseMajorWeir，ifnotformyhero，atleastforanagentandaleadingone，inmyproduction。\"HeadmittedthatthestreetwheretheMajorlivedwashauntedbyawoman\"twicethecommonlength，\"\"butwhyshouldwesethimdownforanungentlemanlyfellow？\"ReadersofMr。Sinclairwillunderstandthereasonverywell，anditisnotnecessary，norhereevenpossible，tojustifyErskine\'sopinionbyquotations。
Sufficeitthat，byvirtueofhisenchantedstaff，whichwasburnedwithhim，theMajorwasenabled\"tocommitevilnottobenamed，yea，eventoreconcilemanandwifewhenatvariance。\"Hissister，whowashanged，hadRedgauntlet\'shorse-shoemarkonherbrow，andonemaymarvelthatScottdoesnotseemtohaverememberedthiscoincidence。\"TherewasseenanexactHorse-shoe，shapedfornails，inherwrinkles。Terribleenough，Iassureyou，tothestoutestbeholder!\"
MostmodernreaderswillbelievethatboththelucklessMajorandhissisterwerereligiousmaniacs。Poverty，solitude，andthesuperstitionoftheirtimewerethetruedemonofMajorWeir，burnedatthestakeinApril1670。Perhapsthemostsingularimpressionmadeby\"Satan\'sInvisibleWorldDiscovered\"isthatinSinclair\'sday，peoplewhodidnotbelieveinbogiesbelievedinnothing，whilepeoplewhosharedthecommoncreedofChristendomwerecapableofbelievingineverything。
Atheistsareascommonasghostsinhismarvellousrelations，andtheverywizardsthemselveswereoftenAtheists。
NOTE——IhavesaidthatScotthimselfhadseenoneghost，ifnottwo，andhearda\"warning。\"TheghostwasseennearAshestiel，onanopenspotofhillside，\"pleasetoobserveitwasbeforedinner。\"
TheanecdoteisinGillis\'s，\"RecollectionsofSirWalterScott，\"
p。170。ThevisionofLordByronstandinginthegreathallofAbbotsfordisdescribedinthe\"DemonologyandWitchcraft。\"Scottallegesthatitresolveditselfinto\"greatcoats，shawls，andplaids\"——ahallucination。ButLockhartremarks(\"Life，\"ix。p。
141)thathedidnotcaretohavethecircumstancediscussedingeneral。The\"stirs\"inAbbotsfordduringthenightwhenhisarchitect，Bullock，diedinLondon，areinLockhart，v。pp。309-
315。\"Thenoiseresembledhalf-a-dozenmenhardatworkputtingupboardsandfurniture，andnothingcanbemorecertainthanthattherewasnobodyonthepremisesatthetime。\"Thenoise，unluckily，occurredtwice，April28and29，1818，andLockhartdoesnottellusonwhichofthesetwonightsMr。Bullockdied。Suchisthecasualnessofghoststory-tellers。LockhartaddsthatthecoincidencemadeastrongimpressiononSirWalter\'smind。Hedidnotcaretoascertainthepointinhisownmentalconstitution\"whereincredulitybegantowaver，\"accordingtohisfriend，Mr。J。
L。Adolphus。
CHAPTERXVII:THEBOY
Asahumblestudentofsavagelife，Ihavefounditnecessarytomakeresearchesintothemannersandcustomsofboys。Boysarenotwhatavainpeoplesupposes。Ifyoumeetthemintheholidays，youfindthemaffableandfullofkindnessandgoodqualities。Theywillcondescendtoyourweaknessatlawn-tennis，theywillaidyouinyourselectionoffly-hooks，and，tobebrief，willbehavewithmuchmorethanthecivilityoftameZulusorRedMenonamissionarysettlement。Butboysatschoolandamongthemselves，lefttothewildjusticeandtraditionallawswhichmanygenerationsofboyshaveevolved，areentirelydifferentbeings。
TheyresemblethatPolynesianprincewhohadrejectedtheerrorsofpolytheismforthoseofanextremesectofPrimitiveSeceders。Forweeksatatimethisprincewasknowntobe\"steady，\"buteverymonthorsohedisappeared，andhissubjectssaidhewas\"lyingoff。\"ToadoptanAmericanidiom，he\"feltlikebrandyandwater\"；
healso\"feltlike\"wearingnoclothes，andgenerallyrejectinghisnewconceptionsofdutyanddecency。Infact，hehadagoodboutofsavagery，andthenhereturnedtohistallhat，hisvarnishedboots，hishymn-book，andhisedifyingprinciples。Thelifeofsmallboysatschool(beforetheygetintolong-tailedcoatsandtheupper-fifth)isoftenamerecourseof\"lying-off\"——ofrelapseintonativesavagerywithitslawsandcustoms。
Ifanyonehassofarforgottenhisownboyhoodastothinkthisdescriptionexaggerated，lethimjustfancywhatourcomfortablecivilisedlifewouldbe，ifwecouldbecomeboysincharacterandcustom。Letussupposethatyouareelectedtoanewclub，ofwhichmostofthemembersarestrangerstoyou。Youenterthedoorsforthefirsttime，whentwooldermembers，whohavebeengossipinginthehall，pounceuponyouwiththeexclamation，\"Hullo，here\'sanewfellow!Youfellow，what\'syourname？\"Youreply，letussay，\"Johnson。\"\"Idon\'tbelieveit，it\'ssucharumname。What\'syourfather？\"Perhapsyouareconstrainedtoanswer\"aDuke\"or(moreprobably)\"asolicitor。\"Intheformercaseyourfriendsboundupintothesmoking-room，howling，\"Here\'sanewfellowsayshisfatherisaDuke。Let\'stakethecheekoutofhim。\"Andthey\"takeitout\"withumbrellas，slippers，andothersurgicalinstruments。Or，inthelattercase(yourparentbeingasolicitor)theyreply，\"Thenyourfathermustbeabeastlycad。
Allsolicitorsaresharks。MYfathersaysso，andheknows。Howmanysistershaveyou？\"Thenewmemberanswers，\"Four。\"\"Anyofthemmarried？\"\"No。\"\"Howawfullyawkwardforyou。\"
Bythistime，perhaps，luncheonisready，ortheeveningpaperscomein，andyouarereleasedforamoment。Yousneakupintothelibrary，whereyounaturallyexpecttobeentirelyalone，andyousettleonasofawithanovel。Butanoldmemberburstsintotheroom，spiesanewfellow，andputshimthroughtheusualcatechism。
Heendswith，\"Howmuchtinhaveyougot？\"Youanswer\"twentypounds，\"orwhateverthesummaybe，forperhapsyouhadcontemplatedplayingwhist。\"Verywell，forkitout；youmustgiveadinner，allnewfellowsmust，andYOUarenotgoingtobeginbybeingastingybeast？\"Thusaddressed，asyourfriendisabigbaldman，wholooksmischievous，youdo\"forkout\"allyourreadymoney，andyournewfriendgoesofftoconsultthecook。Meanwhileyou\"shedabloomingtear，\"asHomersays，andgohomeheart-
broken。Now，doesanygrown-upmancallthisstateofsocietycivilisation？Wouldlifebeworthliving(whateverone\'sreligiousconsolations)ontheseterms？Ofcoursenot，andyetthispictureisanotoverdrawnsketchofthecareerofsomenewboy，atsomeschoolsneworold。Theexistenceofasmallschoolboyis，inotherrespects，notunlikethatofanoutsiderinalawless\"Brotherhood，\"astheIrishplayfullycalltheirmurderclubs。
ThesmallboyisINthesociety，butnotOFit，asfarasanybenefitsgo。Hehastofieldout(andIadmitthatthedisciplineissalutary)whileotherboysbat。Otherboyscommitthefaults，andcompelhimtocopyouttheimpositions——sayfivehundredlinesofVirgil——withwhichtheirsinsarevisited。Otherboysenjoythepleasuresoffootball，whilethesmallboyhastorunvaguelyabout，neverwithinfiveyardsoftheball。Bigboysreapthegloriesofpaperchases，thesmallboygetslostinthebitterweather，ontheopenmoors，orperhaps(asinonehistoricalcase)
isfrozentodeathwithinameasurabledistanceoftheschoolplayground。Andtheworstofitisthat，asamemberofthegreatschoolsecretsociety，thesmallboycannevercomplainofhiswrongs，ordivulgethenameofhistormentors。Itisinthisrespectthatheresemblesaharmlessfellow，draggedintothecoilsofanAnarchist\"InnerBrotherhood。\"Heisexposedtoallsortsofwrongsfromhisneighbours，andhecanonlyescapebyturning\"informer，\"bybreakingthemostsacredlawofhissociety，losingallsocialstatus，and，probably，obliginghisparentstoremovehimfromschool。Lifeatschool，asamongtheCelticpeoples，turnsonthebeliefthatlawandauthorityarenaturalenemies，againstwhicheveryoneisbanded。
Thechapterofbullyingamongboysisoneonwhichamanenterswithreluctance。Boysare，onthewhole，suchgoodfellows，andsofulloffineunsophisticatedqualities，thatthematuremindwouldgladlyturnawayitseyesfrombeholdingtheiriniquities。Evenacruelbullydoesnotinevitablyandinvariablydevelopintoabadman。Heis，letushope，onlypassingthroughthesavagestage，inwhichthetortureofprisonersisarecognisedinstitution。Hehas，perhaps，toolittleimaginationtounderstandthepainhecauses。Veryoftenbullyingisnotphysicallycruel，butonlyapervertedsortofhumour，suchasKingsley，in\"Hypatia，\"
recognisedamonghisfavouriteGoths。Irememberafeeblefoolishboyatschool(feeblehecertainlywas，andwasthoughtfoolish)
whobecamethesubjectofmuchhumorousbullying。Hiscompanionsusedtotieathinthreadroundhisear，andattachthistoabaratsuchaheightthathecouldonlyavoidbreakingitbystandingontiptoe。Buthewastoldthathemustnotbreakthethread。Toavoidinfringingthiscommandment，heputhimselftoconsiderableinconvenienceandaffordedmuchenjoymenttothespectators。
Menofmiddleage，ratherearlymiddleage，rememberthetwofollowingspeciesofbullyingtowhichtheyweresubjected，andwhich，perhaps，areobsolescent。Tallstoolswerepiledupinapyramid，andthevictimwasseatedonthetop，neartheroofoftheroom。Theothersavagesbroughthimdownfromthisbademinencebyhurlingotherstoolsatthosewhichsupportedhim。Orthevictimwasmadetoplacehishandsagainstthedoor，withthefingersoutstretched，whiletheyoungtormentorsplayedattheChineseknife-trick。Theythrewknives，thatistosay，atthedoorbetweentheaperturesofthefingers，and，asarule，theyhitthefingersandnotthedoor。ThesediversionsIknowtobecorrectlyreported，butthefollowingprettystoryis，perhaps，amyth。Atoneofthemostfamouspublicschools，apraepostor，ormonitor，orsixth-formboyhavingauthority，heardapistol-shotintheroomabovehisown。Hewentupandfoundabigboyandalittleboy。
Theydeniedhavinganypistol。Themonitorreturnedtohisstudies，againwassureheheardashot，wentup，andfoundthelittleboydead。ThebigboyhadbeenplayingtheWilliamTelltrickwithhim，andhadhithisheadinsteadoftheapple。Thatisthelegend。Whetheritbetrueorfalse，allboyswillagreethatthelittlevictimcouldnothaveescapedbycomplainingtothemonitor。No。Deathbeforedishonour。Butthesidenotsoseamyofthispictureofschoollifeistheextraordinarypowerofhonouramongboys。Ofcoursethelawsofthesecretsocietymightwellterrifyapuerileinformer。Butthesentimentofhonourisevenmorestrongthanfear，andwillprobablyoutlasttheverydisagreeablecircumstancesinwhichitwasdeveloped。
Peoplesaybullyingisnotwhatitusedtobe。Themuchabusedmonitorialsystemhasthisinitofgood，thatitenablesacleverandkindlyboywhoishighupintheschooltostopthecruelties(ifhehearsofthem)ofamuchbiggerboywhoislowintheschool。Butheseldomhearsofthem。Habitualbulliesareverycunning，andIamacquaintedwithinstancesinwhichtheycarrytheirvictimsofftolonelytorturecells(sotospeak)anddesertedplacesfitforthesport。Someyearsagoasmallboy，afteralongcourseofrope\'s-endinginout-of-the-waydens，revealedtheabominationsofsomenavalcadets。Therewasnotmuchsympathywithhiminthepublicmind，andperhapshiscasewasnotwellmanaged。Butitwasmadeclearthatwhereasamongmenanunpopularpersonisonlyspokenevilofbehindhisback，anunpopularsmallboyamongboysismadetosufferinamoredirectandveryunpleasantway。
Mostofusleaveschoolwiththeimpressionthattherewasagooddealofbullyingwhenwewerelittle，butthattheinstitutionhasdiedout。Thetruthisthatwehavegrowntoobigtobebullied，andtoogood-naturedtobullyourselves。WhenIleftschool，I
thoughtbullyingwasanextinctart，likeencausticpainting(beforeitwasrediscoveredbySirWilliamRichmond)。Butadistinguishedwriter，whowasasmallboywhenIwasabigone，hassincerevealedtomethemostabominablecrueltieswhichwerebeingpractisedattheverymomentwhenIsupposedbullyingtohavehaditsdayandceasedtobe。Now，thesmallboyneedonlyhavementionedthecircumstancestoanyoneofascoreofbigboys，andthetormentorwouldhavebeenfirstthrashed，andthen，probably，expelled。
Afriendofmyownwastravellinglatelyinawildandhillyregionontheothersideoftheworld，letussayintheMountainsoftheMoon。Inamountaintavernhehadthrustuponhimthesocietyofthecook，averyuselessyoungman，whoastonishedhimbyreferencestooneofouruniversities，andtotheenjoymentsofthatseatoflearning。Thisyouth(whowasmadecook，andaverybadcooktoo，becausehecoulddonothingelse)hadbeenexpelledfromalargeEnglishschool。Andhewasexpelledbecausehehadfelledabullywithapaving-stone，andhadexpressedhisreadinesstodoitagain。Now，therewasnodoubtthatthiscookinthemountaininnwasaveryunserviceableyoungfellow。ButIwishmoreboyswhohavesufferedthingsliterallyunspeakablefrombullieswouldtrywhetherforce(intheformofapavingstone)isreallynoremedy。
TheCatholicauthorofarecentbook(\"Schools，\"byLieut-Col。
RaleighChichester)，isveryhardon\"ProtestantSchools，\"andthinksthattheCatholicsystemofconstantwatchingisaremedyforbullyingandotherevils。\"Swing-doorswiththeirupperhalfglazed，mighthavetheiruses，\"hesays，andhedoesnotseewhyaboyshouldnotbepermittedtocomplain，ifheisroasted，likeTomBrown，beforealargefire。TheboysatoneCatholicschooldescribedbyColonelRaleighChichester，\"areneverwithoutsurveillanceofsomesort。\"ThisistrueofmostFrenchschools，andanyonewhowishestounderstandtheconsequences(there)mayreadthepublishedconfessionsofapion——anusher，or\"spy。\"A
moredegradedanddegradinglifethanthatofthewretchedpion，itisimpossibletoimagine。InanEnglishprivateschool，thesystemofespionnageandtalebearing，whenitexists，isprobablynotunlikewhatMr。AnsteydescribesinViceVersa。ButintheCatholicschoolsspokenofbyColonelRaleighChichester，thesurveillancemaybe，ashesays，\"thatofaparent；anaidtotheboysintheirgamesratherthanacheck。\"ThereligiousquestionasbetweenCatholicsandProtestantshasnoessentialconnectionwiththesubject。AProtestantschoolmight，andGrimstone\'sdid，havetale-bearers；possiblyaCatholicschoolmightexistwithoutparentalsurveillance。Thatsystemiscalledbyitsfoesa\"police，\"byitsfriendsa\"paternal\"system。Butfathersdon\'texercisethe\"paternal\"systemthemselvesinthiscountry，andwemaytakeitforgrantedthat，whileEnglishsocietyandreligionareastheyare，surveillanceatourlargeschoolswillbeimpossible。Ifanyoneregretsthis，lethimreadthedescriptionsofFrenchschoolsandschooldays，inBalzac\'sLouisLambert，inthe\"Memoirs\"ofM。MaximeduCamp，inanybookwhereaFrenchmanspeakshismindabouthisyouth。Hewillfindspying(ofcourse)
amongtheushers，contemptandhatredonthesideoftheboys，unwholesomeandcruelpunishments，atotallackofhealthyexercise；andhewillhearofholidaysspentinprematureexcursionsintoforbiddenandshadyquartersofthetown。
Nodoubtthebestsecurityagainstbullyingisinconstantoccupation。Therecanhardly(inspiteofMasterGeorgeOsborne\'sexperiencein\"VanityFair\")bemuchbullyinginanopencricket-
field。Bigboys，too，withgoodhearts，shouldnotonlystopbullyingwhentheycomeacrossit，butmakeittheirbusinesstofindoutwhereitexists。Existitwill，moreorless，despiteallprecautions，whileboysareboys——thatis，arepassingthroughamodifiedformofthesavagestate。
Thereisacuriousfactintheboyishcharacterwhichseems，atfirstsight，tomakegoodtheopinionthatprivateeducation，athome，isthetruemethod。Beforetheygooutintoschoollife，manylittlefellowsofnine，orso，areextremelyoriginal，imaginative，andalmostpoetical。Theyarefondofbooks，fondofnature，and，ifyoucanwintheirconfidence，willtellyouallsortsofprettythoughtsandfancieswhichlieaboutthemintheirinfancy。Ihaveknownalittleboywholikedtolieonthegrassandtopeoplethealleysandgladesofthatminiatureforestwithfairiesanddwarfs，whomheseemedactuallytoseeinakindofvision。Buthewenttoschool，heinstantlywonthehundredyardsraceforboysundertwelve，andhecamebackayoungbarbarian，interestedin\"thetheoryoftouch\"(atfootball)，curiousintheartofbowling，andnomorecapablethanyouorIofseeingfairiesinagreenmeadow。Hewascaughtupintotheairoftheboy\'sworld，andhisimaginationwasinabeyanceforaseason。
Thisisacommonenoughthing，andratheramelancholyspectacletobehold。Oneistemptedtobelievethatschoolcausesthelossofagooddealofgenius，andthatthesmallboyswholeavehomepoets，andcomebackbarbarians，havebeenwasted。But，ontheotherhand，iftheyhadbeenkeptathomeandencouraged，thechancesarethattheywouldhaveblossomedintoinfantphenomenaandnothingbetter。TheawfulinfancyofMr。JohnStuartMillisastandingwarning。Mr。Millwouldprobablyhavebeenamuchhappierandwisermanifhehadnotbeenaprecociouslinguist，economist，andphilosopher，buthadpassedthroughahealthystageofindifferencetolearningandspeculationatapublicschool。Lookagain，atthechildhoodofBishopThirlwall。HisPrimitiaewerepublished(bySamuelTipper，London，1808)，whenyoungConnopwasbutelevenyearsofage。Hisindiscreetfather\"launchedthisslenderbark，\"
ashesays，anditsailedthroughthreeeditionsbetween1808and1809。YoungThirlwallwastaughtLatinatthreeyearsofage，\"andatfourreadGreekwithaneaseandfluencywhichastonishedallwhoheardhim。\"Atsevenhecomposedanessay，\"OntheUncertaintyofHumanLife，\"but\"histasteforpoetrywasnotdiscoveredtillalaterperiod。\"Hissermons，someforty，occupymostofthelittlevolumeinwhichthesePrimitiaewerecollected。
HewasespeciallyconcernedaboutSabbathdesecration。\"I
confess，\"observesthissageoften，\"whenIlookuponthepresentandpaststateofourpublicmorals，andwhenIcontrastourpresentluxury，dissipation，anddepravity，withpastfrugalityandvirtue，Ifeelnotmerelyasensationofregret，butalsoofterror，fortheresultofthechange。\"\"ThelateRevolutioninFrance，\"headds，\"hasaffordedusaremarkablelessonhownecessaryreligionistoaState，andthatfromadeficiencyonthatheadarisethechiefevilswhichcanbefallsociety。\"Hethenbidsus\"rememberthattheNebuchadnezzarwhomaydestroyourIsraelisnearathand，\"thoughitmightbedifficulttoshowhowNebuchadnezzardestroyedIsrael。
Astotheuncertaintyoflife，heremarksthat\"EdwardVI。diedinhisminority，anddisappointedhissubjects，towhomhehadpromisedahappyreign。\"Ofthisinfant\'sthirty-ninesermons(justasmanyastheArticles)，itmaybesaidthattheyareinnowayinferiortootherexamplesofthisclassofliterature。Butsermonsareamongtheleast\"scarce\"and\"rare\"ofhumanessays，andmanyparentswouldratherseetheirboypatientlyacquiringtheartofwicket-keepingatschoolthanmoralisingontheuncertaintyoflifeathome。Someone\"havingpresentedtotheyoungauthoracopyofversesonthetriteandfamiliarsubjectofthePloughboy，\"
herepliedwithanodeon\"ThePotboy。\"
\"Blissisnotalwaysjoin\'dtowealth，NordwellsbeneaththegildedroofForpovertyisblisswithhealth，Ofthatmypotboystandsaproof。\"
Thevolumeendswiththisdetermination，\"StillshallIseekApollo\'sshelt\'ringray，Tocheermyspiritsandinspiremylay。\"
IfanyparentorguardiandesiresanyfurtherinformationaboutLesEnfansdevenuscelebresparleursecrits，hewillfinditinaworkofthatname，publishedinParisin1688。ThelearnedScioppiuspublishedworksatsixteen，\"whichdeserved\"(andperhapsobtained)
\"theadmirationofdotards。\"M。DuMaurierassertsthat，attheageoffifteen，GrotiuspleadedcausesattheBar。AtelevenMeursiusmadeorationsandharangueswhichweremuchadmired。Atfifteen，AlexandreleJeunewroteanacreonticverses，and(lessexcusably)acommentaryontheInstitutionsofGaius。Grevinpublishedatragedyandtwocomediesattheageofthirteen，andatfifteenLouisStellawasaprofessorofGreek。ButnoonereadsGrevinnow，norStella，norAlexandreleJeune，andperhapstheirtimemighthavebeenbetteroccupiedinbeing\"soaringhumanboys\"
thanincomposingtragediesandcommentaries。MonsieurleDucdeMainepublished，in1678，hisOEuvresd\'unAuteurdeSeptAns，aroyalexampletobeavoidedbyallboys。TheseandseveralscoreofotherexamplesmayperhapsreconcileustothespectacleofpuerilegeniusfadingawayintheexistenceofthecommonBritishschoolboy，whoisnothingofapoet，andstilllessofajurisconsult。
TheBritishauthorswhounderstandboysbestarenotthosewhohavewrittenbooksexclusivelyaboutboys。ThereisCanonFarrar，forexample，whoseromancesofboyishlifeappeartobeverypopular，butwhoseboys，somehow，arenotrealboys。Theyaretoogoodwhentheyaregood，andwhentheyarebad，theyarenotperhapstoobad(thatisimpossible)，buttheyarebadinthewrongway。Theyarebadwithamannishandconsciousvice，whereasevenbadboysseemtosinlessconsciouslyandafteraferociousfashionoftheirown。
Oftheboysin\"TomBrown\"itisdifficulttospeak，becausetheRugbyboyunderArnoldseemstohavebeenofapeculiarspecies。A
contemporarypupilwasasked，whenanundergraduate，whatheconceivedtobethepeculiarcharacteristicofRugbyboys。Hesaid，aftermaturereflection，that\"thedifferentiaoftheRugbyboywashismoralthoughtfulness。\"Nowthecharacteristicoftheordinaryboyishiswantofwhatiscalledmoralthoughtfulness。
Helivesinsimpleobediencetoschooltraditions。Thesemaycompelhim，atoneschool，tospeakinapeculiarlanguage，andtopersecuteandbeatallboyswhoareslowatlearningthislanguage。
Atanotherschoolhemayregarddislikeofthemanlygameoffootballasthesinwithwhich\"heavenheadsthecountofcrimes。\"
OnthewholethisnotionseemsausefulprotestagainsttheprematurelyartisticbeingswhofilltheirstudieswithphotographsofGreekfragments，vases，etchingsbythenewestetcher，bitsofChina，Orientalrugs，andverycuriousoldbrasscandlesticks。The\"challengecup\"soonpassesawayfromthekeepingofanyhouseinapublicschoolwhereBunthorneisapopularandimitatedcharacter。
Butwhenwereachaestheticboys，wepassoutofthesavagestageintohobbledehoyhood。Thebiggerboysatpublicschoolsareoftenterribly\"advanced，\"andwhentheyarenotatworkorplay，theyarevexingthemselveswiththeriddleoftheearth，evolution，agnosticism，andallthatkindofthing。Latinversesmaynotbewhatconservativesfondlydeemthem，andevencricketmay，itissaid，becometooabsorbingapursuit，buteitherorbotharebetterthanprecociousfreethinkingandsacrificeonthealtaroftheBeautiful。
AbigboywhoistacklingHaeckelorcomposingvirelaisinplaytimeisdoinghimselfnogood，andisworsethanuselesstothesocietyofwhichheisamember。Thesmallboys，whoarethemostardentofhero-worshippers，eitherdespisehimortheyallowhimtoaddresstheminchansonsroyaux，andrespondwithtreblesintriolets。Atpresentagreatmanyboysleaveschool，passthreeyearsorfourattheuniversities，andgobackasmasterstotheplacewheresomeoftheiroldschoolfellowsarestillpupils。Itisthroughtheseveryyoungmasters，perhaps，that\"advanced\"
speculationsandtastesgetintoschools，where，howeverexcellentinthemselves，theyareratheroutofplace。Indeed，theveryyoungmaster，thoughusuallyearnestinhiswork，mustbeasageindeedifhecanavoidtalkingtotheelderboysabouttheproblemsthatinteresthim，andsoforcingtheirmindsintoprecociousattitudes。TheadvantageofEtonboysusedtobe，perhapsisstill，thattheycameuptocollegeabsolutelydestituteof\"ideas，\"andguiltlessofreadinganythingmoremodernthanVirgil。
Thustheirintellectswerequitefallow，andtheymadeastonishingprogresswhentheybenttheirfreshandunweariedmindstostudy。
Buttoomanyboysnowleaveschoolwithsettledopinionsderivedfromtheverylatestthingout，fromthenewestGermanpessimistorAmericansocialist。Itmay，however，bearguedthatideasofthesesortsarelikemeasles，andthatitisbettertotakethemearlyandbedonewiththemforever。
WhileschoolsarereformedandLatingrammarsoftheutmostingenuityanddifficultyarepublished，boysonthewholechangeverylittle。TheyremainthebeingswhomThackerayunderstoodbetterthananyotherwriter:Thackeray，wholikedboyssomuchandwassolittleblindtotheirdefects。Ithinkheexaggeratestheirhabitoflyingtomasters，or，iftheyliedinhisday，theircharacterhasalteredinthatrespect，andtheyaremoretruthfulthanmanymenfinditexpedienttobe。Andtheyhavegivenupfighting；theoldbattlesbetweenBerryandBiggs，orDobbinandCuff(major)arethingsofthegloriouspast。Bigboysdon\'tfight，andthereisawhisperthatlittleboyskickeachother\'sshinswheninwrath。Thatpracticecanhardlybecalledanimprovement，evenifwedonotcareforfisticuffs。Perhapstheglovesarethebestpeacemakersatschool。Whenalltheboys，bypracticeinboxing，knowprettywellwhomtheycaninafriendlywaylick，theyarelesstemptedtomorecrucialexperiments\"withoutthegloves。\"
Buteventheascertainmentofone\'srelativemeritswiththegloveshurtsagooddeal，andonemaythankheaventhatthefountainofyouth(asdescribedbyPontusdeTyarde)isnotacommonbeverage。
Bydrinkingthisliquid，saystheoldFrenchman，oneisinsensiblybroughtbackfromoldtomiddleage，andtoyouthandboyhood。Butonewouldprefertostopdrinkingofthefountainbeforeactuallybeingreducedtoboy\'sestate，andpassingoncemorethroughthetumultuousexperiencesofthatperiod。Andofthese，NOTHAVING
ENOUGHTOEATisbynomeanstheleastcommon。Theevidenceastoexecrabledinnersisratherdispiriting，andonemayendbysayingthatifthereisaworsefellowthanabully，itisamasterwhodoesnotseethathisboysaresuppliedwithplentyofwholesomefood。He，atleast，couldnotventure，likeadistinguishedheadmaster，topreachandpublishsermonson\"Boys\'Life:itsFulness。\"Aschoolmasterwhohasboardersisahotel-keeper，andtherebymakeshisincome，butheneednotkeepahotelwhichwouldbedispraisedinguidebooks。Dinnersareabranchofschooleconomywhichshouldnotbelefttothewivesofschoolmasters。
