suggestedshehadbetterdosoatonce,andthentherewouldbenofurthertroubleeitherwithrememberingorforgetting。Shecomplied,onconditionthatIwouldnotthinkofreading,orbotheringwiththebooksnow;forshewantedtoshowmethegardens,andtakeawalkintheparkwithme,beforeitbecametoohotforenjoyment;which,indeed,wasnearlythecasealready。
OfcourseIreadilyassented;andwetookourwalkaccordingly。
Aswewerestrollinginthepark,talkingofwhatmycompanionhadseenandheardduringhertravellingexperience,agentlemanonhorsebackrodeupandpassedus。Asheturned,inpassing,andstaredmefullintheface,Ihadagoodopportunityofseeingwhathewaslike。Hewastall,thin,andwasted,withaslightstoopintheshoulders,apaleface,butsomewhatblotchy,anddisagreeablyredabouttheeyelids,plainfeatures,andageneralappearanceoflanguorandflatness,relievedbyasinisterexpressioninthemouthandthedull,soullesseyes。
\'Idetestthatman!\'whisperedLadyAshby,withbitteremphasis,asheslowlytrottedby。
\'Whoisit?\'Iasked,unwillingtosupposethatsheshouldsospeakofherhusband。
\'SirThomasAshby,\'shereplied,withdrearycomposure。
\'AnddoyouDETESThim,MissMurray?\'saidI,forIwastoomuchshockedtorememberhernameatthemoment。
\'Yes,Ido,MissGrey,anddespisehimtoo;andifyouknewhimyouwouldnotblameme。\'
\'Butyouknewwhathewasbeforeyoumarriedhim。\'
\'No;Ionlythoughtso:Ididnothalfknowhimreally。
Iknowyouwarnedmeagainstit,andIwishIhadlistenedtoyou:butit\'stoolatetoregretthatnow。Andbesides,mammaoughttohaveknownbetterthaneitherofus,andsheneversaidanythingagainstit-quitethecontrary。AndthenIthoughtheadoredme,andwouldletmehavemyownway:hedidpretendtodosoatfirst,butnowhedoesnotcareabitaboutme。YetIshouldnotcareforthat:hemightdoashepleased,ifImightonlybefreetoamusemyselfandtostayinLondon,orhaveafewfriendsdownhere:
butHEWILLdoashepleases,andImustbeaprisonerandaslave。
ThemomenthesawIcouldenjoymyselfwithouthim,andthatothersknewmyvaluebetterthanhimself,theselfishwretchbegantoaccusemeofcoquetryandextravagance;andtoabuseHarryMeltham,whoseshoeshewasnotworthytoclean。Andthenhemustneedshavemedowninthecountry,toleadthelifeofanun,lestI
shoulddishonourhimorbringhimtoruin;asifhehadnotbeententimesworseeveryway,withhisbetting-book,andhisgaming-
table,andhisopera-girls,andhisLadyThisandMrs。That-yes,andhisbottlesofwine,andglassesofbrandy-and-watertoo!
Oh,IwouldgivetenthousandworldstobeMssMurrayagain!ItisTOO
badtofeellife,health,andbeautywastingaway,unfeltandunenjoyed,forsuchabruteasthat!\'exclaimedshe,fairlyburstingintotearsinthebitternessofhervexation。
Ofcourse,Ipitiedherexceedingly;aswellforherfalseideaofhappinessanddisregardofduty,asforthewretchedpartnerwithwhomherfatewaslinked。IsaidwhatIcouldtocomforther,andofferedsuchcounselsasIthoughtshemostrequired:advisingher,first,bygentlereasoning,bykindness,example,andpersuasion,totrytoameliorateherhusband;andthen,whenshehaddoneallshecould,ifshestillfoundhimincorrigible,toendeavourtoabstractherselffromhim-towrapherselfupinherownintegrity,andtroubleherselfaslittleabouthimaspossible。
IexhortedhertoseekconsolationindoingherdutytoGodandman,toputhertrustinHeaven,andsolaceherselfwiththecareandnurtureofherlittledaughter;assuringhershewouldbeamplyrewardedbywitnessingitsprogressinstrengthandwisdom,andreceivingitsgenuineaffection。
\'ButIcan\'tdevotemyselfentirelytoachild,\'saidshe;\'itmaydie-whichisnotatallimprobable。\'
\'But,withcare,manyadelicateinfanthasbecomeastrongmanorwoman。\'
\'ButitmaygrowsointolerablylikeitsfatherthatIshallhateit。\'
\'Thatisnotlikely;itisalittlegirl,andstronglyresemblesitsmother。\'
\'Nomatter;Ishouldlikeitbetterifitwereaboy-onlythatitsfatherwillleaveitnoinheritancethathecanpossiblysquanderaway。WhatpleasurecanIhaveinseeingagirlgrowuptoeclipseme,andenjoythosepleasuresthatIamforeverdebarredfrom?ButsupposingIcouldbesogenerousastotakedelightinthis,stillitisONLYachild;andIcan\'tcentreallmyhopesinachild:thatisonlyonedegreebetterthandevotingoneselftoadog。Andasforallthewisdomandgoodnessyouhavebeentryingtoinstilintome-thatisallveryrightandproper,Idaresay,andifIweresometwentyyearsolder,Imightfructifybyit:butpeoplemustenjoythemselveswhentheyareyoung;andifotherswon\'tletthem-why,theymusthatethemforit!\'
\'Thebestwaytoenjoyyourselfistodowhatisrightandhatenobody。TheendofReligionisnottoteachushowtodie,buthowtolive;andtheearlieryoubecomewiseandgood,themoreofhappinessyousecure。Andnow,LadyAshby,Ihaveonemorepieceofadvicetoofferyou,whichis,thatyouwillnotmakeanenemyofyourmother-in-law。Don\'tgetintothewayofholdingheratarms\'length,andregardingherwithjealousdistrust。Ineversawher,butIhaveheardgoodaswellasevilrespectingher;andI
imaginethat,thoughcoldandhaughtyinhergeneraldemeanour,andevenexactinginherrequirements,shehasstrongaffectionsforthosewhocanreachthem;and,thoughsoblindlyattachedtoherson,sheisnotwithoutgoodprinciples,orincapableofhearingreason。Ifyouwouldbutconciliateheralittle,andadoptafriendly,openmanner-andevenconfideyourgrievancestoher-
realgrievances,suchasyouhavearighttocomplainof-itismyfirmbeliefthatshewould,intime,becomeyourfaithfulfriend,andacomfortandsupporttoyou,insteadoftheincubusyoudescribeher。\'ButIfearmyadvicehadlittleeffectupontheunfortunateyounglady;and,findingIcouldrendermyselfsolittleserviceable,myresidenceatAshbyParkbecamedoublypainful。Butstill,Imuststayoutthatdayandthefollowingone,asIhadpromisedtodoso:though,resistingallentreatiesandinducementstoprolongmyvisitfurther,Iinsistedupondepartingthenextmorning;affirmingthatmymotherwouldbelonelywithoutme,andthatsheimpatientlyexpectedmyreturn。
Nevertheless,itwaswithaheavyheartthatIbadeadieutopoorLadyAshby,andleftherinherprincelyhome。Itwasnoslightadditionalproofofherunhappiness,thatsheshouldsoclingtotheconsolationofmypresence,andearnestlydesirethecompanyofonewhosegeneraltastesandideasweresolittlecongenialtoherown-whomshehadcompletelyforgotteninherhourofprosperity,andwhosepresencewouldberatheranuisancethanapleasure,ifshecouldbuthavehalfherheart\'sdesire。
chapter24
CHAPTERXXIV-THESANDS
OURschoolwasnotsituatedintheheartofthetown:onenteringA-fromthenorth-westthereisarowofrespectable-lookinghouses,oneachsideofthebroad,whiteroad,withnarrowslipsofgarden-groundbeforethem,Venetianblindstothewindows,andaflightofstepsleadingtoeachtrim,brass-handleddoor。InoneofthelargestofthesehabitationsdweltmymotherandI,withsuchyoungladiesasourfriendsandthepublicchosetocommittoourcharge。Consequently,wewereaconsiderabledistancefromthesea,anddividedfromitbyalabyrinthofstreetsandhouses。
Buttheseawasmydelight;andIwouldoftengladlypiercethetowntoobtainthepleasureofawalkbesideit,whetherwiththepupils,oralonewithmymotherduringthevacations。Itwasdelightfultomeatalltimesandseasons,butespeciallyinthewildcommotionofaroughsea-breeze,andinthebrilliantfreshnessofasummermorning。
IawokeearlyonthethirdmorningaftermyreturnfromAshbyPark-thesunwasshiningthroughtheblind,andIthoughthowpleasantitwouldbetopassthroughthequiettownandtakeasolitaryrambleonthesandswhilehalftheworldwasinbed。Iwasnotlonginformingtheresolution,norslowtoactuponit。OfcourseIwouldnotdisturbmymother,soIstolenoiselesslydownstairs,andquietlyunfastenedthedoor。Iwasdressedandout,whenthechurchclockstruckaquartertosix。Therewasafeelingoffreshnessandvigourintheverystreets;andwhenIgotfreeofthetown,whenmyfootwasonthesandsandmyfacetowardsthebroad,brightbay,nolanguagecandescribetheeffectofthedeep,clearazureoftheskyandocean,thebrightmorningsunshineonthesemicircularbarrierofcraggycliffssurmountedbygreenswellinghills,andonthesmooth,widesands,andthelowrocksoutatsea-looking,withtheirclothingofweedsandmoss,likelittlegrass-grownislands-andaboveall,onthebrilliant,sparklingwaves。Andthen,theunspeakablepurity-andfreshnessoftheair!Therewasjustenoughheattoenhancethevalueofthebreeze,andjustenoughwindtokeepthewholeseainmotion,tomakethewavescomeboundingtotheshore,foamingandsparkling,asifwildwithglee。Nothingelsewasstirring-nolivingcreaturewasvisiblebesidesmyself。Myfootstepswerethefirsttopressthefirm,unbrokensands;-nothingbeforehadtrampledthemsincelastnight\'sflowingtidehadobliteratedthedeepestmarksofyesterday,andleftthemfairandeven,exceptwherethesubsidingwaterhadleftbehinditthetracesofdimpledpoolsandlittlerunningstreams。
Refreshed,delighted,invigorated,Iwalkedalong,forgettingallmycares,feelingasifIhadwingstomyfeet,andcouldgoatleastfortymileswithoutfatigue,andexperiencingasenseofexhilarationtowhichIhadbeenanentirestrangersincethedaysofearlyyouth。Abouthalf-pastsix,however,thegroomsbegantocomedowntoairtheirmasters\'horses-firstone,andthenanother,tillthereweresomedozenhorsesandfiveorsixriders:
butthatneednottroubleme,fortheywouldnotcomeasfarasthelowrockswhichIwasnowapproaching。WhenIhadreachedthese,andwalkedoverthemoist,slipperysea-weed(attheriskofflounderingintooneofthenumerouspoolsofclear,saltwaterthatlaybetweenthem),toalittlemossypromontorywiththeseasplashingroundit,Ilookedbackagaintoseewhonextwasstirring。Still,therewereonlytheearlygroomswiththeirhorses,andonegentlemanwithalittledarkspeckofadogrunningbeforehim,andonewater-cartcomingoutofthetowntogetwaterforthebaths。Inanotherminuteortwo,thedistantbathingmachineswouldbegintomove,andthentheelderlygentlemenofregularhabitsandsoberquakerladieswouldbecomingtotaketheirsalutarymorningwalks。Buthoweverinterestingsuchascenemightbe,Icouldnotwaittowitnessit,forthesunandtheseasodazzledmyeyesinthatdirection,thatIcouldbutaffordoneglance;andthenIturnedagaintodelightmyselfwiththesightandthesoundofthesea,dashingagainstmypromontory-withnoprodigiousforce,fortheswellwasbrokenbythetangledsea-weedandtheunseenrocksbeneath;otherwiseIshouldsoonhavebeendelugedwithspray。Butthetidewascomingin;thewaterwasrising;thegulfsandlakeswerefilling;thestraitswerewidening:itwastimetoseeksomesaferfooting;soIwalked,skipped,andstumbledbacktothesmooth,widesands,andresolvedtoproceedtoacertainboldprojectioninthecliffs,andthenreturn。
Presently,Iheardasnufflingsoundbehindmeandthenadogcamefriskingandwrigglingtomyfeet。ItwasmyownSnap-thelittledark,wire-hairedterrier!WhenIspokehisname,heleaptupinmyfaceandyelledforjoy。Almostasmuchdelightedashimself,I
caughtthelittlecreatureinmyarms,andkissedhimrepeatedly。
Buthowcamehetobethere?Hecouldnothavedroppedfromthesky,orcomeallthatwayalone:itmustbeeitherhismaster,therat-catcher,orsomebodyelsethathadbroughthim;so,repressingmyextravagantcaresses,andendeavouringtorepresshislikewise,Ilookedround,andbeheld-Mr。Weston!
\'Yourdogremembersyouwell,MissGrey,\'saidhe,warmlygraspingthehandIofferedhimwithoutclearlyknowingwhatIwasabout。
\'Youriseearly。\'
\'Notoftensoearlyasthis,\'Ireplied,withamazingcomposure,consideringallthecircumstancesofthecase。
\'Howfardoyoupurposetoextendyourwalk?\'
\'Iwasthinkingofreturning-itmustbealmosttime,Ithink。\'
Heconsultedhiswatch-agoldonenow-andtoldmeitwasonlyfiveminutespastseven。
\'But,doubtless,youhavehadalongenoughwalk,\'saidhe,turningtowardsthetown,towhichInowproceededleisurelytoretracemysteps;andhewalkedbesideme。
\'Inwhatpartofthetowndoyoulive?\'askedhe。\'Inevercoulddiscover。\'
Nevercoulddiscover?Hadheendeavouredtodosothen?
Itoldhimtheplaceofourabode。Heaskedhowweprosperedinouraffairs。Itoldhimweweredoingverywell-thatwehadhadaconsiderableadditiontoourpupilsaftertheChristmasvacation,andexpectedastillfurtherincreaseatthecloseofthis。
\'Youmustbeanaccomplishedinstructor,\'heobserved。
\'No,itismymother,\'Ireplied;\'shemanagesthingssowell,andissoactive,andclever,andkind。\'
\'Ishouldliketoknowyourmother。Willyouintroducemetohersometime,ifIcall?\'
\'Yes,willingly。\'
\'Andwillyouallowmetheprivilegeofanoldfriend,oflookinginuponyounowandthen?\'
\'Yes,if-Isupposeso。\'
Thiswasaveryfoolishanswer,butthetruthwas,IconsideredthatIhadnorighttoinviteanyonetomymother\'shousewithoutherknowledge;andifIhadsaid,\'Yes,ifmymotherdoesnotobject,\'itwouldappearasifbyhisquestionIunderstoodmorethanwasexpected;so,SUPPOSINGshewouldnot,Iadded,\'Isupposeso:\'butofcourseIshouldhavesaidsomethingmoresensibleandmorepolite,ifIhadhadmywitsaboutme。Wecontinuedourwalkforaminuteinsilence;which,however,wasshortlyrelieved(nosmallrelieftome)byMr。Westoncommentinguponthebrightnessofthemorningandthebeautyofthebay,andthenupontheadvantagesA-possessedovermanyotherfashionableplacesofresort。
\'Youdon\'taskwhatbringsmetoA-\'saidhe。\'Youcan\'tsupposeI\'mrichenoughtocomeformyownpleasure。\'
\'IheardyouhadleftHorton。\'
\'Youdidn\'thear,then,thatIhadgotthelivingofF-?\'
F-wasavillageabouttwomilesdistantfromA。
\'No,\'saidI;\'welivesocompletelyoutoftheworld,evenhere,thatnewsseldomreachesmethroughanyquarter;exceptthroughthemediumofthe-GAZETTE。ButIhopeyoulikeyournewparish;
andthatImaycongratulateyouontheacquisition?\'
\'Iexpecttolikemyparishbetterayearortwohence,whenIhaveworkedcertainreformsIhavesetmyheartupon-or,atleast,progressedsomestepstowardssuchanachievement。Butyoumaycongratulatemenow;forIfinditveryagreeabletoHAVEaparishalltomyself,withnobodytointerferewithme-tothwartmyplansorcripplemyexertions:andbesides,Ihavearespectablehouseinaratherpleasantneighbourhood,andthreehundredpoundsayear;and,infact,Ihavenothingbutsolitudetocomplainof,andnothingbutacompaniontowishfor。\'
Helookedatmeasheconcluded:andtheflashofhisdarkeyesseemedtosetmyfaceonfire;greatlytomyowndiscomfiture,fortoevinceconfusionatsuchajuncturewasintolerable。Imadeaneffort,therefore,toremedytheevil,anddisclaimallpersonalapplicationoftheremarkbyahasty,ill-expressedreply,totheeffectthat,ifhewaitedtillhewaswellknownintheneighbourhood,hemighthavenumerousopportunitiesforsupplyinghiswantamongtheresidentsofF-anditsvicinity,orthevisitorsofA-,ifherequiredsoampleachoice:notconsideringthecomplimentimpliedbysuchanassertion,tillhisanswermademeawareofit。
\'Iamnotsopresumptuousastobelievethat,\'saidhe,\'thoughyoutellitme;butifitwereso,Iamratherparticularinmynotionsofacompanionforlife,andperhapsImightnotfindonetosuitmeamongtheladiesyoumention。\'
\'Ifyourequireperfection,youneverwill。\'
\'Idonot-Ihavenorighttorequireit,asbeingsofarfromperfectmyself。\'
Heretheconversationwasinterruptedbyawater-cartlumberingpastus,forwewerenowcometothebusypartofthesands;and,forthenexteightortenminutes,betweencartsandhorses,andasses,andmen,therewaslittleroomforsocialintercourse,tillwehadturnedourbacksuponthesea,andbeguntoascendtheprecipitousroadleadingintothetown。Heremycompanionofferedmehisarm,whichIaccepted,thoughnotwiththeintentionofusingitasasupport。
\'Youdon\'toftencomeontothesands,Ithink,\'saidhe,\'forI
havewalkedtheremanytimes,bothmorningandevening,sinceI
came,andneverseenyoutillnow;andseveraltimes,inpassingthroughthetown,too,Ihavelookedaboutforyourschool-butI
didnotthinkofthe-Road;andonceortwiceImadeinquiries,butwithoutobtainingtherequisiteinformation。\'
Whenwehadsurmountedtheacclivity,Iwasabouttowithdrawmyarmfromhis,butbyaslighttighteningoftheelbowwastacitlyinformedthatsuchwasnothiswill,andaccordinglydesisted。
Discoursingondifferentsubjects,weenteredthetown,andpassedthroughseveralstreets。Isawthathewasgoingoutofhiswaytoaccompanyme,notwithstandingthelongwalkthatwasyetbeforehim;and,fearingthathemightbeinconveniencinghimselffrommotivesofpoliteness,Iobserved-\'IfearIamtakingyououtofyourway,Mr。Weston-IbelievetheroadtoF-liesquiteinanotherdirection。\'
\'I\'llleaveyouattheendofthenextstreet,\'saidhe。
\'Andwhenwillyoucometoseemamma?\'
\'To-morrow-Godwilling。\'
Theendofthenextstreetwasnearlytheconclusionofmyjourney。
Hestoppedthere,however,bidmegood-morning,andcalledSnap,whoseemedalittledoubtfulwhethertofollowhisoldmistressorhisnewmaster,buttrottedawayuponbeingsummonedbythelatter。
\'Iwon\'toffertorestorehimtoyou,MissGrey,\'saidMr。Weston,smiling,\'becauseIlikehim。\'
\'Oh,Idon\'twanthim,\'repliedI,\'nowthathehasagoodmaster;
I\'mquitesatisfied。\'
\'YoutakeitforgrantedthatIamagoodone,then?\'
Themanandthedogdeparted,andIreturnedhome,fullofgratitudetoheavenforsomuchbliss,andprayingthatmyhopesmightnotagainbecrushed。
chapter25
CHAPTERXXV-CONCLUSION
\'WELL,Agnes,youmustnottakesuchlongwalksagainbeforebreakfast,\'saidmymother,observingthatIdrankanextracupofcoffeeandatenothing-pleadingtheheatoftheweather,andthefatigueofmylongwalkasanexcuse。Icertainlydidfeelfeverishandtiredtoo。
\'Youalwaysdothingsbyextremes:now,ifyouhadtakenaSHORT
walkeverymorning,andwouldcontinuetodoso,itwoulddoyougood。\'
\'Well,mamma,Iwill。\'
\'Butthisisworsethanlyinginbedorbendingoveryourbooks:
youhavequiteputyourselfintoafever。\'
\'Iwon\'tdoitagain,\'saidI。
IwasrackingmybrainswiththinkinghowtotellheraboutMr。
Weston,forshemustknowhewascomingto-morrow。However,I
waitedtillthebreakfastthingswereremoved,andIwasmorecalmandcool;andthen,havingsatdowntomydrawing,Ibegan-\'Imetanoldfriendonthesandsto-day,mamma。\'
\'Anoldfriend!Whocoulditbe?\'
\'Twooldfriends,indeed。Onewasadog;\'andthenIremindedherofSnap,whosehistoryIhadrecountedbefore,andrelatedtheincidentofhissuddenappearanceandremarkablerecognition;\'andtheother,\'continuedI,\'wasMr。Weston,thecurateofHorton。\'
\'Mr。Weston!Ineverheardofhimbefore。\'
\'Yes,youhave:I\'vementionedhimseveraltimes,Ibelieve:
butyoudon\'tremember。\'
\'I\'veheardyouspeakofMr。Hatfield。\'
\'Mr。Hatfieldwastherector,andMr。Westonthecurate:IusedtomentionhimsometimesincontradistinctiontoMr。Hatfield,asbeingamoreefficientclergyman。However,hewasonthesandsthismorningwiththedog-hehadboughtit,Isuppose,fromtherat-catcher;andheknewmeaswellasitdid-probablythroughitsmeans:andIhadalittleconversationwithhim,inthecourseofwhich,asheaskedaboutourschool,Iwasledtosaysomethingaboutyou,andyourgoodmanagement;andhesaidheshouldliketoknowyou,andaskedifIwouldintroducehimtoyou,ifheshouldtakethelibertyofcallingto-morrow;soIsaidIwould。WasI
right?\'
\'Ofcourse。Whatkindofamanishe?\'
\'AveryRESPECTABLEman,Ithink:butyouwillseehimto-morrow。
HeisthenewvicarofF-,andashehasonlybeenthereafewweeks,Isupposehehasmadenofriendsyet,andwantsalittlesociety。\'
Themorrowcame。WhatafeverofanxietyandexpectationIwasinfrombreakfasttillnoon-atwhichtimehemadehisappearance!
Havingintroducedhimtomymother,Itookmyworktothewindow,andsatdowntoawaittheresultoftheinterview。Theygotonextremelywelltogether-greatlytomysatisfaction,forIhadfeltveryanxiousaboutwhatmymotherwouldthinkofhim。Hedidnotstaylongthattime:butwhenherosetotakeleave,shesaidsheshouldbehappytoseehim,wheneverhemightfinditconvenienttocallagain;andwhenhewasgone,Iwasgratifiedbyhearinghersay,-\'Well!Ithinkhe\'saverysensibleman。
Butwhydidyousitbackthere,Agnes,\'sheadded,\'andtalksolittle?\'
\'Becauseyoutalkedsowell,mamma,Ithoughtyourequirednoassistancefromme:and,besides,hewasyourvisitor,notmine。\'
Afterthat,heoftencalleduponus-severaltimesinthecourseofaweek。Hegenerallyaddressedmostofhisconversationtomymother:andnowonder,forshecouldconverse。Ialmostenviedtheunfettered,vigorousfluencyofherdiscourse,andthestrongsenseevincedbyeverythingshesaid-andyet,Ididnot;for,thoughIoccasionallyregrettedmyowndeficienciesforhissake,itgavemeverygreatpleasuretositandhearthetwobeingsI
lovedandhonouredaboveeveryoneelseintheworld,discoursingtogethersoamicably,sowisely,andsowell。Iwasnotalwayssilent,however;norwasIatallneglected。IwasquiteasmuchnoticedasIwouldwishtobe:therewasnolackofkindwordsandkinderlooks,noendofdelicateattentions,toofineandsubtletobegraspedbywords,andthereforeindescribable-butdeeplyfeltatheart。
Ceremonywasquicklydroppedbetweenus:Mr。Westoncameasanexpectedguest,welcomeatalltimes,andneverderangingtheeconomyofourhouseholdaffairs。Heevencalledme\'Agnes:\'thenamehadbeentimidlyspokenatfirst,but,findingitgavenooffenceinanyquarter,heseemedgreatlytopreferthatappellationto\'MissGrey;\'andsodidI。Howtediousandgloomywerethosedaysinwhichhedidnotcome!Andyetnotmiserable;
forIhadstilltheremembranceofthelastvisitandthehopeofthenexttocheerme。Butwhentwoorthreedayspassedwithoutmyseeinghim,Icertainlyfeltveryanxious-absurdly,unreasonablyso;for,ofcourse,hehadhisownbusinessandtheaffairsofhisparishtoattendto。AndIdreadedthecloseoftheholidays,whenMYbusinessalsowouldbegin,andIshouldbesometimesunabletoseehim,andsometimes-whenmymotherwasintheschoolroom-
obligedtobewithhimalone:apositionIdidnotatalldesire,inthehouse;thoughtomeethimoutofdoors,andwalkbesidehim,hadprovedbynomeansdisagreeable。
Oneevening,however,inthelastweekofthevacation,hearrived-unexpectedly:foraheavyandprotractedthunder-showerduringtheafternoonhadalmostdestroyedmyhopesofseeinghimthatday;
butnowthestormwasover,andthesunwasshiningbrightly。
\'Abeautifulevening,Mrs。Grey!\'saidhe,asheentered。\'Agnes,Iwantyoutotakeawalkwithmeto-\'(henamedacertainpartofthecoast-aboldhillonthelandside,andtowardstheseaasteepprecipice,fromthesummitofwhichagloriousviewistobehad)。\'Therainhaslaidthedust,andcooledandclearedtheair,andtheprospectwillbemagnificent。Willyoucome?\'
\'CanIgo,mamma?\'
\'Yes;tobesure。\'
Iwenttogetready,andwasdownagaininafewminutes;though,ofcourse,ItookalittlemorepainswithmyattirethanifIhadmerelybeengoingoutonsomeshoppingexpeditionalone。Thethunder-showerhadcertainlyhadamostbeneficialeffectupontheweather,andtheeveningwasmostdelightful。Mr。Westonwouldhavemetotakehisarm;hesaidlittleduringourpassagethroughthecrowdedstreets,butwalkedveryfast,andappearedgraveandabstracted。Iwonderedwhatwasthematter,andfeltanindefinitedreadthatsomethingunpleasantwasonhismind;andvaguesurmises,concerningwhatitmightbe,troubledmenotalittle,andmademegraveandsilentenough。Butthesefantasiesvanisheduponreachingthequietoutskirtsofthetown;forassoonaswecamewithinsightofthevenerableoldchurch,andthe-hill,withthedeepbluebeyondit,Ifoundmycompanionwascheerfulenough。
\'I\'mafraidI\'vebeenwalkingtoofastforyou,Agnes,\'saidhe:
\'inmyimpatiencetoberidofthetown,Iforgottoconsultyourconvenience;butnowwe\'llwalkasslowlyasyouplease。Isee,bythoselightcloudsinthewest,therewillbeabrilliantsunset,andweshallbeintimetowitnessitseffectuponthesea,atthemostmoderaterateofprogression。\'
Whenwehadgotabouthalf-wayupthehill,wefellintosilenceagain;which,asusual,hewasthefirsttobreak。
\'Myhouseisdesolateyet,MissGrey,\'hesmilinglyobserved,\'andIamacquaintednowwithalltheladiesinmyparish,andseveralinthistowntoo;andmanyothersIknowbysightandbyreport;
butnotoneofthemwillsuitmeforacompanion;infact,thereisonlyonepersonintheworldthatwill:andthatisyourself;
andIwanttoknowyourdecision?\'
\'Areyouinearnest,Mr。Weston?\'
\'Inearnest!HowcouldyouthinkIshouldjestonsuchasubject?\'
Helaidhishandonmine,thatrestedonhisarm:hemusthavefeltittremble-butitwasnogreatmatternow。
\'IhopeIhavenotbeentooprecipitate,\'hesaid,inaserioustone。\'Youmusthaveknownthatitwasnotmywaytoflatterandtalksoftnonsense,oreventospeaktheadmirationthatIfelt;
andthatasinglewordorglanceofminemeantmorethanthehoniedphrasesandferventprotestationsofmostothermen。\'
Isaidsomethingaboutnotlikingtoleavemymother,anddoingnothingwithoutherconsent。
\'IsettledeverythingwithMrs。Grey,whileyouwereputtingonyourbonnet,\'repliedhe。\'ShesaidImighthaveherconsent,ifI
couldobtainyours;andIaskedher,incaseIshouldbesohappy,tocomeandlivewithus-forIwassureyouwouldlikeitbetter。
Butsherefused,sayingshecouldnowaffordtoemployanassistant,andwouldcontinuetheschooltillshecouldpurchaseanannuitysufficienttomaintainherincomfortablelodgings;and,meantime,shewouldspendhervacationsalternatelywithusandyoursister,andshouldbequitecontentedifyouwerehappy。
AndsonowIhaveoverruledyourobjectionsonheraccount。Haveyouanyother?\'
\'No-none。\'
\'Youlovemethen?\'saidbe,ferventlypressingmyhand。
\'Yes。\'
HereIpause。MyDiary,fromwhichIhavecompiledthesepages,goesbutlittlefurther。Icouldgoonforyears,butIwillcontentmyselfwithadding,thatIshallneverforgetthatglorioussummerevening,andalwaysrememberwithdelightthatsteephill,andtheedgeoftheprecipicewherewestoodtogether,watchingthesplendidsunsetmirroredintherestlessworldofwatersatourfeet-withheartsfilledwithgratitudetoheaven,andhappiness,andlove-almosttoofullforspeech。
Afewweeksafterthat,whenmymotherhadsuppliedherselfwithanassistant,IbecamethewifeofEdwardWeston;andneverhavefoundcausetorepentit,andamcertainthatInevershall。Wehavehadtrials,andweknowthatwemusthavethemagain;butwebearthemwelltogether,andendeavourtofortifyourselvesandeachotheragainstthefinalseparation-thatgreatestofallafflictionstothesurvivor。But,ifwekeepinmindthegloriousheavenbeyond,wherebothmaymeetagain,andsinandsorrowareunknown,surelythattoomaybeborne;and,meantime,weendeavourtolivetothegloryofHimwhohasscatteredsomanyblessingsinourpath。
Edward,byhisstrenuousexertions,hasworkedsurprisingreformsinhisparish,andisesteemedandlovedbyitsinhabitants-ashedeserves;forwhateverhisfaultsmaybeasaman(andnooneisentirelywithout),Idefyanybodytoblamehimasapastor,ahusband,orafather。
Ourchildren,Edward,Agnes,andlittleMary,promisewell;theireducation,forthetimebeing,ischieflycommittedtome;andtheyshallwantnogoodthingthatamother\'scarecangive。Ourmodestincomeisamplysufficientforourrequirements:andbypractisingtheeconomywelearntinhardertimes,andneverattemptingtoimitateourricherneighbours,wemanagenotonlytoenjoycomfortandcontentmentourselves,buttohaveeveryyearsomethingtolaybyforourchildren,andsomethingtogivetothosewhoneedit。
AndnowIthinkIhavesaidsufficient。