第6章

类别:其他 作者:Sherwood Anderson字数:16629更新时间:18/12/14 16:11:44
Oneeveningwhenhewasrecoveringfromalongdebauchthestrangercamereelingalongthemainstreetofthetown。TomHardsatinachairbeforetheNewWillardHousewithhisdaughter,thenachildoffive,onhisknees。BesidehimontheboardsidewalksatyoungGeorgeWillard。Thestrangerdroppedintoachairbesidethem。Hisbodyshookandwhenhetriedtotalkhisvoicetrembled。 Itwaslateeveninganddarknesslayoverthetownandovertherailroadthatranalongthefootofalittleinclinebeforethehotel。Somewhereinthedistance,offtothewest,therewasaprolongedblastfromthewhistleofapassengerengine。Adogthathadbeensleepingintheroadwayaroseandbarked。 Thestrangerbegantobabbleandmadeaprophecyconcerningthechildthatlayinthearmsoftheagnostic。 \"Icameheretoquitdrinking,\"hesaid,andtearsbegantorundownhischeeks。HedidnotlookatTomHard,butleanedforwardandstaredintothedarknessasthoughseeingavision。\"Iranawaytothecountrytobecured,butIamnotcured。Thereisareason。\"Heturnedtolookatthechildwhosatupverystraightonherfather\'skneeandreturnedthelook。 ThestrangertouchedTomHardonthearm。 \"DrinkisnottheonlythingtowhichIamad- dicted,\"hesaid。\"Thereissomethingelse。Iamaloverandhavenotfoundmythingtolove。ThatisabigpointifyouknowenoughtorealizewhatI mean。Itmakesmydestructioninevitable,yousee。 Therearefewwhounderstandthat。\" Thestrangerbecamesilentandseemedovercomewithsadness,butanotherblastfromthewhistleofthepassengerenginearousedhim。\"Ihavenotlostfaith。Iproclaimthat。IhaveonlybeenbroughttotheplacewhereIknowmyfaithwillnotbereal- ized,\"hedeclaredhoarsely。Helookedhardatthechildandbegantoaddressher,payingnomoreat- tentiontothefather。\"Thereisawomancoming,\" hesaid,andhisvoicewasnowsharpandearnest。 \"Ihavemissedher,yousee。Shedidnotcomeinmytime。Youmaybethewoman。Itwouldbelikefatetoletmestandinherpresenceonce,onsuchaneveningasthis,whenIhavedestroyedmyselfwithdrinkandsheisasyetonlyachild。\" Theshouldersofthestrangershookviolently,andwhenhetriedtorollacigarettethepaperfellfromhistremblingfingers。Hegrewangryandscolded。 \"Theythinkit\'seasytobeawoman,tobeloved,butIknowbetter,\"hedeclared。Againheturnedtothechild。\"Iunderstand,\"hecried。\"PerhapsofallmenIaloneunderstand。\" Hisglanceagainwanderedawaytothedarkenedstreet。\"Iknowabouther,althoughshehasnevercrossedmypath,\"hesaidsoftly。\"Iknowaboutherstrugglesandherdefeats。Itisbecauseofherdefeatsthatsheistomethelovelyone。Outofherdefeatshasbeenbornanewqualityinwoman。Ihaveanameforit。IcallitTandy。ImadeupthenamewhenIwasatruedreamerandbeforemybodybecamevile。Itisthequalityofbeingstrongtobeloved。Itissomethingmenneedfromwomenandthattheydonotget。\" ThestrangeraroseandstoodbeforeTomHard。 Hisbodyrockedbackandforthandheseemedabouttofall,butinsteadhedroppedtohiskneesonthesidewalkandraisedthehandsofthelittlegirltohisdrunkenlips。Hekissedthemecstatically。 \"BeTandy,littleone,\"hepleaded。\"Daretobestrongandcourageous。Thatistheroad。Ventureanything。Bebraveenoughtodaretobeloved。Besomethingmorethanmanorwoman。BeTandy。\" Thestrangeraroseandstaggeredoffdownthestreet。AdayortwolaterhegotaboardatrainandreturnedtohishomeinCleveland。Onthesummerevening,afterthetalkbeforethehotel,TomHardtookthegirlchildtothehouseofarelativewhereshehadbeeninvitedtospendthenight。Ashewentalonginthedarknessunderthetreesheforgotthebabblingvoiceofthestrangerandhismindreturnedtothemakingofargumentsbywhichhemightde- stroymen\'sfaithinGod。Hespokehisdaughter\'snameandshebegantoweep。 \"Idon\'twanttobecalledthat,\"shedeclared。\"I wanttobecalledTandy——TandyHard。\"ThechildweptsobitterlythatTomHardwastouchedandtriedtocomforther。Hestoppedbeneathatreeand,takingherintohisarms,begantocaressher。\"Begood,now,\"hesaidsharply;butshewouldnotbequieted。Withchildishabandonshegaveherselfovertogrief,hervoicebreakingtheeveningstillnessofthestreet。\"IwanttobeTandy。IwanttobeTandy。IwanttobeTandyHard,\"shecried,shak- ingherheadandsobbingasthoughheryoungstrengthwerenotenoughtobearthevisionthewordsofthedrunkardhadbroughttoher。 THESTRENGTHOFGOD THEREVERENDCurtisHartmanwaspastorofthePresbyterianChurchofWinesburg,andhadbeeninthatpositiontenyears。Hewasfortyyearsold,andbyhisnatureverysilentandreticent。Topreach,standinginthepulpitbeforethepeople,wasalwaysahardshipforhimandfromWednesdaymorninguntilSaturdayeveninghethoughtofnothingbutthetwosermonsthatmustbepreachedonSunday。 EarlyonSundaymorninghewentintoalittleroomcalledastudyinthebelltowerofthechurchandprayed。Inhisprayerstherewasonenotethatal- wayspredominated。\"GivemestrengthandcourageforThywork,OLord!\"hepleaded,kneelingonthebarefloorandbowinghisheadinthepresenceofthetaskthatlaybeforehim。 TheReverendHartmanwasatallmanwithabrownbeard。Hiswife,astout,nervouswoman,wasthedaughterofamanufacturerofunderwearatCleveland,Ohio。Theministerhimselfwasratherafavoriteinthetown。TheeldersofthechurchlikedhimbecausehewasquietandunpretentiousandMrs。White,thebanker\'swife,thoughthimschol- arlyandrefined。 ThePresbyterianChurchhelditselfsomewhatalooffromtheotherchurchesofWinesburg。Itwaslargerandmoreimposinganditsministerwasbetterpaid。Heevenhadacarriageofhisownandonsummereveningssometimesdroveabouttownwithhiswife。ThroughMainStreetandupanddownBuckeyeStreethewent,bowinggravelytothepeo- ple,whilehiswife,afirewithsecretpride,lookedathimoutofthecornersofhereyesandworriedlestthehorsebecomefrightenedandrunaway。 ForagoodmanyyearsafterhecametoWines- burgthingswentwellwithCurtisHartman。Hewasnotonetoarousekeenenthusiasmamongthewor- shippersinhischurchbutontheotherhandhemadenoenemies。Inrealityhewasmuchinearnestandsometimessufferedprolongedperiodsofre- morsebecausehecouldnotgocryingthewordofGodinthehighwaysandbywaysofthetown。HewonderediftheflameofthespiritreallyburnedinhimanddreamedofadaywhenastrongsweetnewcurrentofpowerwouldcomelikeagreatwindintohisvoiceandhissoulandthepeoplewouldtremblebeforethespiritofGodmademanifestinhim。\"I amapoorstickandthatwillneverreallyhappentome,\"hemuseddejectedly,andthenapatientsmilelituphisfeatures。\"Ohwell,IsupposeI\'mdoingwellenough,\"headdedphilosophically。 Theroominthebelltowerofthechurch,whereonSundaymorningstheministerprayedforanin- creaseinhimofthepowerofGod,hadbutonewindow。Itwaslongandnarrowandswungout- wardonahingelikeadoor。Onthewindow,madeoflittleleadedpanes,wasadesignshowingtheChristlayinghishandupontheheadofachild。 OneSundaymorninginthesummerashesatbyhisdeskintheroomwithalargeBibleopenedbe- forehim,andthesheetsofhissermonscatteredabout,theministerwasshockedtosee,intheupperroomofthehousenextdoor,awomanlyinginherbedandsmokingacigarettewhileshereadabook。 CurtisHartmanwentontiptoetothewindowandcloseditsoftly。Hewashorrorstrickenatthethoughtofawomansmokingandtrembledalsotothinkthathiseyes,justraisedfromthepagesofthebookofGod,hadlookeduponthebareshouldersandwhitethroatofawoman。Withhisbraininawhirlhewentdownintothepulpitandpreachedalongsermonwithoutoncethinkingofhisgesturesorhisvoice。Thesermonattractedunusualattentionbecauseofitspowerandclearness。\"Iwonderifsheislistening,ifmyvoiceiscarryingamessageintohersoul,\"hethoughtandbegantohopethatonfutureSundaymorningshemightbeabletosaywordsthatwouldtouchandawakenthewomanapparentlyfargoneinsecretsin。 ThehousenextdoortothePresbyterianChurch,throughthewindowsofwhichtheministerhadseenthesightthathadsoupsethim,wasoccupiedbytwowomen。AuntElizabethSwift,agreycompetent- lookingwidowwithmoneyintheWinesburgNa- tionalBank,livedtherewithherdaughterKateSwift,aschoolteacher。Theschoolteacherwasthirtyyearsoldandhadaneattrim-lookingfigure。 Shehadfewfriendsandboreareputationofhavingasharptongue。Whenhebegantothinkabouther,CurtisHartmanrememberedthatshehadbeentoEuropeandhadlivedfortwoyearsinNewYorkCity。\"Perhapsafterallhersmokingmeansnoth- ing,\"hethought。Hebegantorememberthatwhenhewasastudentincollegeandoccasionallyreadnovels,goodalthoughsomewhatworldlywomen,hadsmokedthroughthepagesofabookthathadoncefallenintohishands。Witharushofnewdeter- minationheworkedonhissermonsallthroughtheweekandforgot,inhiszealtoreachtheearsandthesoulofthisnewlistener,bothhisembarrassmentinthepulpitandthenecessityofprayerinthestudyonSundaymornings。 ReverendHartman\'sexperiencewithwomenhadbeensomewhatlimited。HewasthesonofawagonmakerfromMuncie,Indiana,andhadworkedhiswaythroughcollege。Thedaughteroftheunder- wearmanufacturerhadboardedinahousewherehelivedduringhisschooldaysandhehadmarriedherafteraformalandprolongedcourtship,carriedonforthemostpartbythegirlherself。Onhismar- riagedaytheunderwearmanufacturerhadgivenhisdaughterfivethousanddollarsandhepromisedtoleaveheratleasttwicethatamountinhiswill。Theministerhadthoughthimselffortunateinmarriageandhadneverpermittedhimselftothinkofotherwomen。Hedidnotwanttothinkofotherwomen。 WhathewantedwastodotheworkofGodquietlyandearnestly。 Inthesouloftheministerastruggleawoke。FromwantingtoreachtheearsofKateSwift,andthroughhissermonstodelveintohersoul,hebegantowantalsotolookagainatthefigurelyingwhiteandquietinthebed。OnaSundaymorningwhenhecouldnotsleepbecauseofhisthoughtshearoseandwenttowalkinthestreets。WhenhehadgonealongMainStreetalmosttotheoldRichmondplacehestoppedandpickingupastonerushedofftotheroominthebelltower。WiththestonehebrokeoutacornerofthewindowandthenlockedthedoorandsatdownatthedeskbeforetheopenBibletowait。WhentheshadeofthewindowtoKateSwift\'sroomwasraisedhecouldsee,throughthehole,directlyintoherbed,butshewasnotthere。ShealsohadarisenandhadgoneforawalkandthehandthatraisedtheshadewasthehandofAuntElizabethSwift。 Theministeralmostweptwithjoyatthisdeliver- ancefromthecarnaldesireto\"peep\"andwentbacktohisownhousepraisingGod。Inanillmomentheforgot,however,tostoptheholeinthewindow。 ThepieceofglassbrokenoutatthecornerofthewindowjustnippedoffthebareheeloftheboystandingmotionlessandlookingwithrapteyesintothefaceoftheChrist。 CurtisHartmanforgothissermononthatSundaymorning。Hetalkedtohiscongregationandinhistalksaidthatitwasamistakeforpeopletothinkoftheirministerasamansetasideandintendedbynaturetoleadablamelesslife。\"OutofmyownexperienceIknowthatwe,whoaretheministersofGod\'sword,arebesetbythesametemptationsthatassailyou,\"hedeclared。\"Ihavebeentemptedandhavesurrenderedtotemptation。ItisonlythehandofGod,placedbeneathmyhead,thathasraisedmeup。Ashehasraisedmesoalsowillheraiseyou。 Donotdespair。Inyourhourofsinraiseyoureyestotheskiesandyouwillbeagainandagainsaved。\" Resolutelytheministerputthethoughtsofthewomaninthebedoutofhismindandbegantobesomethinglikealoverinthepresenceofhiswife。 OneeveningwhentheydroveouttogetherheturnedthehorseoutofBuckeyeStreetandinthedarknessonGospelHill,aboveWaterworksPond,puthisarmaboutSarahHartman\'swaist。Whenhehadeatenbreakfastinthemorningandwasreadytoretiretohisstudyatthebackofhishousehewentaroundthetableandkissedhiswifeonthecheek。WhenthoughtsofKateSwiftcameintohishead,hesmiledandraisedhiseyestotheskies。 \"Intercedeforme,Master,\"hemuttered,\"keepmeinthenarrowpathintentonThywork。\" Andnowbegantherealstruggleinthesoulofthebrown-beardedminister。Bychancehediscov- eredthatKateSwiftwasinthehabitoflyinginherbedintheeveningsandreadingabook。Alampstoodonatablebythesideofthebedandthelightstreameddownuponherwhiteshouldersandbarethroat。Ontheeveningwhenhemadethediscoverytheministersatatthedeskinthedustyroomfromnineuntilafterelevenandwhenherlightwasputoutstumbledoutofthechurchtospendtwomorehourswalkingandprayinginthestreets。HedidnotwanttokisstheshouldersandthethroatofKateSwiftandhadnotallowedhismindtodwellonsuchthoughts。Hedidnotknowwhathewanted。 \"IamGod\'schildandhemustsavemefrommy- self,\"hecried,inthedarknessunderthetreesashewanderedinthestreets。Byatreehestoodandlookedattheskythatwascoveredwithhurryingclouds。HebegantotalktoGodintimatelyandclosely。\"Please,Father,donotforgetme。Givemepowertogotomorrowandrepairtheholeinthewindow。Liftmyeyesagaintotheskies。Staywithme,Thyservant,inhishourofneed。\" Upanddownthroughthesilentstreetswalkedtheministerandfordaysandweekshissoulwastroubled。Hecouldnotunderstandthetemptationthathadcometohimnorcouldhefathomtherea- sonforitscoming。InawayhebegantoblameGod,sayingtohimselfthathehadtriedtokeephisfeetinthetruepathandhadnotrunaboutseekingsin。 \"ThroughmydaysasayoungmanandallthroughmylifehereIhavegonequietlyaboutmywork,\" hedeclared。\"WhynowshouldIbetempted?WhathaveIdonethatthisburdenshouldbelaidonme?\" ThreetimesduringtheearlyfallandwinterofthatyearCurtisHartmancreptoutofhishousetotheroominthebelltowertositinthedarknesslookingatthefigureofKateSwiftlyinginherbedandlaterwenttowalkandprayinthestreets。Hecouldnotunderstandhimself。Forweekshewouldgoalongscarcelythinkingoftheschoolteacherandtellinghimselfthathehadconqueredthecarnalde- siretolookatherbody。Andthensomethingwouldhappen。Ashesatinthestudyofhisownhouse,hardatworkonasermon,hewouldbecomener- vousandbegintowalkupanddowntheroom。\"I willgooutintothestreets,\"hetoldhimselfandevenashelethimselfinatthechurchdoorheper- sistentlydeniedtohimselfthecauseofhisbeingthere。\"IwillnotrepairtheholeinthewindowandIwilltrainmyselftocomehereatnightandsitinthepresenceofthiswomanwithoutraisingmyeyes。 Iwillnotbedefeatedinthisthing。TheLordhasdevisedthistemptationasatestofmysoulandI willgropemywayoutofdarknessintothelightofrighteousness。\" OnenightinJanuarywhenitwasbittercoldandsnowlaydeeponthestreetsofWinesburgCurtisHartmanpaidhislastvisittotheroominthebelltowerofthechurch。Itwaspastnineo\'clockwhenhelefthisownhouseandhesetoutsohurriedlythatheforgottoputonhisovershoes。InMainStreetnoonewasabroadbutHopHigginsthenightwatchmanandinthewholetownnoonewasawakebutthewatchmanandyoungGeorgeWillard,whosatintheofficeoftheWinesburgEagletryingtowriteastory。Alongthestreettothechurchwenttheminister,plowingthroughthedriftsandthinkingthatthistimehewouldutterlygivewaytosin。\"I wanttolookatthewomanandtothinkofkissinghershouldersandIamgoingtoletmyselfthinkwhatIchoose,\"hedeclaredbitterlyandtearscameintohiseyes。Hebegantothinkthathewouldgetoutoftheministryandtrysomeotherwayoflife。 \"Ishallgotosomecityandgetintobusiness,\"hedeclared。\"IfmynatureissuchthatIcannotresistsin,Ishallgivemyselfovertosin。AtleastIshallnotbeahypocrite,preachingthewordofGodwithmymindthinkingoftheshouldersandneckofawomanwhodoesnotbelongtome。\" ItwascoldintheroomofthebelltowerofthechurchonthatJanuarynightandalmostassoonashecameintotheroomCurtisHartmanknewthatifhestayedhewouldbeill。Hisfeetwerewetfromtrampinginthesnowandtherewasnofire。IntheroominthehousenextdoorKateSwifthadnotyetappeared。Withgrimdeterminationthemansatdowntowait。SittinginthechairandgrippingtheedgeofthedeskonwhichlaytheBiblehestaredintothedarknessthinkingtheblackestthoughtsofhislife。Hethoughtofhiswifeandforthemomentalmosthatedher。\"Shehasalwaysbeenashamedofpassionandhascheatedme,\"hethought。\"Manhasarighttoexpectlivingpassionandbeautyinawoman。Hehasnorighttoforgetthatheisanani- malandinmethereissomethingthatisGreek。I willthrowoffthewomanofmybosomandseekotherwomen。Iwillbesiegethisschoolteacher。I willflyinthefaceofallmenandifIamacreatureofcarnallustsIwilllivethenformylusts。\" Thedistractedmantrembledfromheadtofoot,partlyfromcold,partlyfromthestruggleinwhichhewasengaged。Hourspassedandafeverassailedhisbody。Histhroatbegantohurtandhisteethchattered。Hisfeetonthestudyfloorfeltliketwocakesofice。Stillhewouldnotgiveup。\"IwillseethiswomanandwillthinkthethoughtsIhaveneverdaredtothink,\"hetoldhimself,grippingtheedgeofthedeskandwaiting。 CurtisHartmancameneardyingfromtheeffectsofthatnightofwaitinginthechurch,andalsohefoundinthethingthathappenedwhathetooktobethewayoflifeforhim。Onothereveningswhenhehadwaitedhehadnotbeenabletosee,throughthelittleholeintheglass,anypartoftheschoolteacher\'sroomexceptthatoccupiedbyherbed。Inthedarknesshehadwaiteduntilthewomansud- denlyappearedsittinginthebedinherwhitenight- robe。Whenthelightwasturnedupsheproppedherselfupamongthe\'pillowsandreadabook。 Sometimesshesmokedoneofthecigarettes。Onlyherbareshouldersandthroatwerevisible。 OntheJanuarynight,afterhehadcomeneardyingwithcoldandafterhismindhadtwoorthreetimesactuallyslippedawayintoanoddlandoffan- tasysothathehadbyanexerciseofwillpowertoforcehimselfbackintoconsciousness,KateSwiftappeared。Intheroomnextdooralampwaslightedandthewaitingmanstaredintoanemptybed。Thenuponthebedbeforehiseyesanakedwomanthrewherself。Lyingfacedownwardsheweptandbeatwithherfistsuponthepillow。Withafinaloutburstofweepingshehalfarose,andinthepresenceofthemanwhohadwaitedtolookandnottothinkthoughtsthewomanofsinbegantopray。Inthelamplightherfigure,slimandstrong,lookedlikethefigureoftheboyinthepresenceoftheChristontheleadedwindow。 CurtisHartmanneverrememberedhowhegotoutofthechurch。Withacryhearose,draggingtheheavydeskalongthefloor。TheBiblefell,makingagreatclatterinthesilence。Whenthelightinthehousenextdoorwentouthestumbleddownthestairwayandintothestreet。AlongthestreethewentandraninatthedooroftheWinesburgEagle。 ToGeorgeWillard,whowastrampingupanddownintheofficeundergoingastruggleofhisown,hebegantotalkhalfincoherently。\"ThewaysofGodarebeyondhumanunderstanding,\"hecried,run- ninginquicklyandclosingthedoor。Hebegantoadvanceupontheyoungman,hiseyesglowingandhisvoiceringingwithfervor。\"Ihavefoundthelight,\"hecried。\"Aftertenyearsinthistown,Godhasmanifestedhimselftomeinthebodyofawoman。\"Hisvoicedroppedandhebegantowhis- per。\"Ididnotunderstand,\"hesaid。\"WhatItooktobeatrialofmysoulwasonlyapreparationforanewandmorebeautifulfervorofthespirit。GodhasappearedtomeinthepersonofKateSwift,theschoolteacher,kneelingnakedonabed。DoyouknowKateSwift?Althoughshemaynotbeawareofit,sheisaninstrumentofGod,bearingthemes- sageoftruth。\" ReverendCurtisHartmanturnedandranoutoftheoffice。Atthedoorhestopped,andafterlookingupanddownthedesertedstreet,turnedagaintoGeorgeWillard。\"Iamdelivered。Havenofear。\"Heheldupableedingfistfortheyoungmantosee。\"I smashedtheglassofthewindow,\"hecried。\"Nowitwillhavetobewhollyreplaced。ThestrengthofGodwasinmeandIbrokeitwithmyfist。\" THETEACHER SNOWLAYDEEPinthestreetsofWinesburg。Ithadbeguntosnowaboutteno\'clockinthemorningandawindsprangupandblewthesnowincloudsalongMainStreet。Thefrozenmudroadsthatledintotownwerefairlysmoothandinplacesicecov- eredthemud。\"Therewillbegoodsleighing,\"saidWillHenderson,standingbythebarinEdGriffith\'ssaloon。OutofthesaloonhewentandmetSylvesterWestthedruggiststumblingalonginthekindofheavyovershoescalledarctics。\"SnowwillbringthepeopleintotownonSaturday,\"saidthedruggist。 Thetwomenstoppedanddiscussedtheiraffairs。 WillHenderson,whohadonalightovercoatandnoovershoes,kickedtheheelofhisleftfootwiththetoeoftheright。\"Snowwillbegoodforthewheat,\"observedthedruggistsagely。 YoungGeorgeWillard,whohadnothingtodo,wasgladbecausehedidnotfeellikeworkingthatday。TheweeklypaperhadbeenprintedandtakentothepostofficeWednesdayeveningandthesnowbegantofallonThursday。Ateighto\'clock,afterthemorningtrainhadpassed,heputapairofskatesinhispocketandwentuptoWaterworksPondbutdidnotgoskating。PastthepondandalongapaththatfollowedWineCreekhewentuntilhecametoagroveofbeechtrees。Therehebuiltafireagainstthesideofalogandsatdownattheendofthelogtothink。Whenthesnowbegantofallandthewindtoblowhehurriedaboutgettingfuelforthefire。 TheyoungreporterwasthinkingofKateSwift,whohadoncebeenhisschoolteacher。Ontheeve- ningbeforehehadgonetoherhousetogetabookshewantedhimtoreadandhadbeenalonewithherforanhour。Forthefourthorfifthtimethewomanhadtalkedtohimwithgreatearnestnessandhecouldnotmakeoutwhatshemeantbyhertalk。Hebegantobelieveshemustbeinlovewithhimandthethoughtwasbothpleasingandannoying。 Upfromtheloghesprangandbegantopilesticksonthefire。Lookingabouttobesurehewasalonehetalkedaloudpretendinghewasinthepresenceofthewoman,\"Oh,,you\'rejustlettingon,youknowyouare,\"hedeclared。\"Iamgoingtofindoutaboutyou。Youwaitandsee。\" Theyoungmangotupandwentbackalongthepathtowardtownleavingthefireblazinginthewood。Ashewentthroughthestreetstheskatesclankedinhispocket。InhisownroomintheNewWillardHousehebuiltafireinthestoveandlaydownontopofthebed。Hebegantohavelustfulthoughtsandpullingdowntheshadeofthewindowclosedhiseyesandturnedhisfacetothewall。Hetookapillowintohisarmsandembraceditthinkingfirstoftheschoolteacher,whobyherwordshadstirredsomethingwithinhim,andlaterofHelenWhite,theslimdaughterofthetownbanker,withwhomhehadbeenforalongtimehalfinlove。 Bynineo\'clockofthateveningsnowlaydeepinthestreetsandtheweatherhadbecomebittercold。 Itwasdifficulttowalkabout。Thestoresweredarkandthepeoplehadcrawledawaytotheirhouses。 TheeveningtrainfromClevelandwasverylatebutnobodywasinterestedinitsarrival。Byteno\'clockallbutfouroftheeighteenhundredcitizensofthetownwereinbed。 HopHiggins,thenightwatchman,waspartiallyawake。Hewaslameandcarriedaheavystick。Ondarknightshecarriedalantern。Betweennineandteno\'clockhewenthisrounds。UpanddownMainStreethestumbledthroughthedriftstryingthedoorsofthestores。Thenhewentintoalleywaysandtriedthebackdoors。FindingalltighthehurriedaroundthecornertotheNewWillardHouseandbeatonthedoor。Throughtherestofthenightheintendedtostaybythestove。\"Yougotobed。I\'llkeepthestovegoing,\"hesaidtotheboywhosleptonacotinthehoteloffice。 HopHigginssatdownbythestoveandtookoffhisshoes。Whentheboyhadgonetosleephebegantothinkofhisownaffairs。Heintendedtopainthishouseinthespringandsatbythestovecalculatingthecostofpaintandlabor。Thatledhimintoothercalculations。Thenightwatchmanwassixtyyearsoldandwantedtoretire。HehadbeenasoldierintheCivilWaranddrewasmallpension。Hehopedtofindsomenewmethodofmakingalivingandaspiredtobecomeaprofessionalbreederofferrets。 Alreadyhehadfourofthestrangelyshapedsavagelittlecreatures,thatareusedbysportsmeninthepursuitofrabbits,inthecellarofhishouse。\"NowIhaveonemaleandthreefemales,\"hemused。\"IfIamluckybyspringIshallhavetwelveorfifteen。 InanotheryearIshallbeabletobeginadvertisingferretsforsaleinthesportingpapers。\" Thenightwatchmansettledintohischairandhismindbecameablank。Hedidnotsleep。Byyearsofpracticehehadtrainedhimselftositforhoursthroughthelongnightsneitherasleepnorawake。 Inthemorninghewasalmostasrefreshedasthoughhehadslept。 WithHopHigginssafelystowedawayinthechairbehindthestoveonlythreepeoplewereawakeinWinesburg。GeorgeWillardwasintheofficeoftheEaglepretendingtobeatworkonthewritingofastorybutinrealitycontinuingthemoodofthemorningbythefireinthewood。InthebelltowerofthePresbyterianChurchtheReverendCurtisHartmanwassittinginthedarknesspreparinghim- selfforarevelationfromGod,andKateSwift,theschoolteacher,wasleavingherhouseforawalkinthestorm。 Itwaspastteno\'clockwhenKateSwiftsetoutandthewalkwasunpremeditated。Itwasasthoughthemanandtheboy,bythinkingofher,haddrivenherforthintothewintrystreets。AuntElizabethSwifthadgonetothecountyseatconcerningsomebusinessinconnectionwithmortgagesinwhichshehadmoneyinvestedandwouldnotbebackuntilthenextday。Byahugestove,calledabaseburner,inthelivingroomofthehousesatthedaughterreadingabook。Suddenlyshesprangtoherfeetand,snatchingacloakfromarackbythefrontdoor,ranoutofthehouse。 AttheageofthirtyKateSwiftwasnotknowninWinesburgasaprettywoman。Hercomplexionwasnotgoodandherfacewascoveredwithblotchesthatindicatedillhealth。Aloneinthenightinthewinterstreetsshewaslovely。Herbackwasstraight,hershoulderssquare,andherfeatureswereasthefeaturesofatinygoddessonapedestalinagardeninthedimlightofasummerevening。 DuringtheafternoontheschoolteacherhadbeentoseeDoctorWellingconcerningherhealth。Thedoctorhadscoldedherandhaddeclaredshewasindangeroflosingherhearing。ItwasfoolishforKateSwifttobeabroadinthestorm,foolishandperhapsdangerous。 Thewomaninthestreetsdidnotrememberthewordsofthedoctorandwouldnothaveturnedbackhadsheremembered。Shewasverycoldbutafterwalkingforfiveminutesnolongermindedthecold。 FirstshewenttotheendofherownstreetandthenacrossapairofhayscalessetinthegroundbeforeafeedbarnandintoTrunionPike。AlongTrunionPikeshewenttoNedWinters\'barnandturningeastfollowedastreetoflowframehousesthatledoverGospelHillandintoSuckerRoadthatrandownashallowvalleypastIkeSmead\'schickenfarmtoWaterworksPond。Asshewentalong,thebold,ex- citedmoodthathaddrivenheroutofdoorspassedandthenreturnedagain。 TherewassomethingbitingandforbiddinginthecharacterofKateSwift。Everyonefeltit。Intheschoolroomshewassilent,cold,andstern,andyetinanoddwayveryclosetoherpupils。Onceinalongwhilesomethingseemedtohavecomeoverherandshewashappy。Allofthechildrenintheschoolroomfelttheeffectofherhappiness。Foratimetheydidnotworkbutsatbackintheirchairsandlookedather。 Withhandsclaspedbehindherbacktheschoolteacherwalkedupanddownintheschoolroomandtalkedveryrapidly。Itdidnotseemtomatterwhatsubjectcameintohermind。OnceshetalkedtothechildrenofCharlesLambandmadeupstrange,inti- matelittlestoriesconcerningthelifeofthedeadwriter。ThestoriesweretoldwiththeairofonewhohadlivedinahousewithCharlesLambandknewallthesecretsofhisprivatelife。Thechildrenweresomewhatconfused,thinkingCharlesLambmustbesomeonewhohadoncelivedinWinesburg。 Onanotheroccasiontheteachertalkedtothechil- drenofBenvenutoCellini。Thattimetheylaughed。 Whatabragging,blustering,brave,lovablefellowshemadeoftheoldartist!Concerninghimalsosheinventedanecdotes。TherewasoneofaGermanmusicteacherwhohadaroomaboveCellini\'slodg- ingsinthecityofMilanthatmadetheboysguffaw。 SugarsMcNutts,afatboywithredcheeks,laughedsohardthathebecamedizzyandfelloffhisseatandKateSwiftlaughedwithhim。Thensuddenlyshebecameagaincoldandstern。 Onthewinternightwhenshewalkedthroughthedesertedsnow-coveredstreets,acrisishadcomeintothelifeoftheschoolteacher。AlthoughnooneinWinesburgwouldhavesuspectedit,herlifehadbeenveryadventurous。Itwasstilladventurous。 Daybydayassheworkedintheschoolroomorwalkedinthestreets,grief,hope,anddesirefoughtwithinher。Behindacoldexteriorthemostextraor- dinaryeventstranspiredinhermind。Thepeopleofthetownthoughtofherasaconfirmedoldmaidandbecauseshespokesharplyandwentherownwaythoughtherlackinginallthehumanfeelingthatdidsomuchtomakeandmartheirownlives。 Inrealityshewasthemosteagerlypassionatesoulamongthem,andmorethanonce,inthefiveyearssinceshehadcomebackfromhertravelstosettleinWinesburgandbecomeaschoolteacher,hadbeencompelledtogooutofthehouseandwalkhalfthroughthenightfightingoutsomebattleragingwithin。OnceonanightwhenitrainedshehadstayedoutsixhoursandwhenshecamehomehadaquarrelwithAuntElizabethSwift。\"Iamgladyou\'renotaman,\"saidthemothersharply。\"MorethanonceI\'vewaitedforyourfathertocomehome,notknowingwhatnewmesshehadgotinto。I\'vehadmyshareofuncertaintyandyoucannotblamemeifIdonotwanttoseetheworstsideofhimreproducedinyou。\" KateSwift\'smindwasablazewiththoughtsofGeorgeWillard。Insomethinghehadwrittenasaschoolboyshethoughtshehadrecognizedthesparkofgeniusandwantedtoblowonthespark。 OnedayinthesummershehadgonetotheEagleofficeandfindingtheboyunoccupiedhadtakenhimoutMainStreettotheFairGround,wherethetwosatonagrassybankandtalked。Theschoolteachertriedtobringhometothemindoftheboysomeconceptionofthedifficultieshewouldhavetofaceasawriter。\"Youwillhavetoknowlife,\"shedeclared,andhervoicetrembledwithearnestness。 ShetookholdofGeorgeWillard\'sshouldersandturnedhimaboutsothatshecouldlookintohiseyes。Apasser-bymighthavethoughtthemabouttoembrace。\"Ifyouaretobecomeawriteryou\'llhavetostopfoolingwithwords,\"sheexplained。\"Itwouldbebettertogiveupthenotionofwritinguntilyouarebetterprepared。Nowit\'stimetobeliving。Idon\'twanttofrightenyou,butIwouldliketomakeyouunderstandtheimportofwhatyouthinkofattempting。Youmustnotbecomeamerepeddlerofwords。Thethingtolearnistoknowwhatpeoplearethinkingabout,notwhattheysay。\" OntheeveningbeforethatstormyThursdaynightwhentheReverendCurtisHartmansatinthebelltowerofthechurchwaitingtolookatherbody,youngWillardhadgonetovisittheteacherandtoborrowabook。Itwasthenthethinghappenedthatconfusedandpuzzledtheboy。Hehadthebookunderhisarmandwaspreparingtodepart。AgainKateSwifttalkedwithgreatearnestness。Nightwascomingonandthelightintheroomgrewdim。Asheturnedtogoshespokehisnamesoftlyandwithanimpulsivemovementtookholdofhishand。Be- causethereporterwasrapidlybecomingamansomethingofhisman\'sappeal,combinedwiththewinsomenessoftheboy,stirredtheheartofthelonelywoman。Apassionatedesiretohavehimun- derstandtheimportoflife,tolearntointerpretittrulyandhonestly,sweptoverher。Leaningfor- ward,herlipsbrushedhischeek。Atthesamemo- mentheforthefirsttimebecameawareofthemarkedbeautyofherfeatures。Theywerebothem- barrassed,andtorelieveherfeelingshebecameharshanddomineering。\"What\'stheuse?ItwillbetenyearsbeforeyoubegintounderstandwhatI meanwhenItalktoyou,\"shecriedpassionately。 Onthenightofthestormandwhiletheministersatinthechurchwaitingforher,KateSwiftwenttotheofficeoftheWinesburgEagle,intendingtohaveanothertalkwiththeboy。Afterthelongwalkinthesnowshewascold,lonely,andtired。AsshecamethroughMainStreetshesawthefightfromtheprintshopwindowshiningonthesnowandonanimpulseopenedthedoorandwentin。Foranhourshesatbythestoveintheofficetalkingoflife。Shetalkedwithpassionateearnestness。Theimpulsethathaddrivenheroutintothesnowpoureditselfoutintotalk。Shebecameinspiredasshesometimesdidinthepresenceofthechildreninschool。Agreateagernesstoopenthedooroflifetotheboy,whohadbeenherpupilandwhoshethoughtmightpos- sessatalentfortheunderstandingoflife,hadpos- sessionofher。Sostrongwasherpassionthatitbecamesomethingphysical。Againherhandstookholdofhisshouldersandsheturnedhimabout。Inthedimlighthereyesblazed。Shearoseandlaughed,notsharplyaswascustomarywithher,butinaqueer,hesitatingway。\"Imustbegoing,\"shesaid。\"Inamoment,ifIstay,I\'llbewantingtokissyou。\" Inthenewspaperofficeaconfusionarose。KateSwiftturnedandwalkedtothedoor。Shewasateacherbutshewasalsoawoman。AsshelookedatGeorgeWillard,thepassionatedesiretobelovedbyaman,thathadathousandtimesbeforesweptlikeastormoverherbody,tookpossessionofher。 InthelamplightGeorgeWillardlookednolongeraboy,butamanreadytoplaythepartofaman。 TheschoolteacherletGeorgeWillardtakeherintohisarms。Inthewarmlittleofficetheairbecamesuddenlyheavyandthestrengthwentoutofherbody。Leaningagainstalowcounterbythedoorshewaited。Whenhecameandputahandonhershoul- dersheturnedandletherbodyfallheavilyagainsthim。ForGeorgeWillardtheconfusionwasimmedi- atelyincreased。Foramomentheheldthebodyofthewomantightlyagainsthisbodyandthenitstiff- ened。Twosharplittlefistsbegantobeatonhisface。 Whentheschoolteacherhadrunawayandlefthimalone,hewalkedupanddowntheofficeswearingfuriously。 ItwasintothisconfusionthattheReverendCurtisHartmanprotrudedhimself。WhenhecameinGeorgeWillardthoughtthetownhadgonemad。 Shakingableedingfistintheair,theministerpro- claimedthewomanGeorgehadonlyamomentbe- foreheldinhisarmsaninstrumentofGodbearingamessageoftruth。 Georgeblewoutthelampbythewindowandlockingthedooroftheprintshopwenthome。 Throughthehoteloffice,pastHopHigginslostinhisdreamoftheraisingofferrets,hewentandupintohisownroom。Thefireinthestovehadgoneoutandheundressedinthecold。Whenhegotintobedthesheetswerelikeblanketsofdrysnow。 GeorgeWillardrolledaboutinthebedonwhichhadlainintheafternoonhuggingthepillowandthinkingthoughtsofKateSwift。Thewordsoftheminister,whohethoughthadgonesuddenlyin- sane,ranginhisears。Hiseyesstaredabouttheroom。Theresentment,naturaltothebaffledmale,passedandhetriedtounderstandwhathadhap- pened。Hecouldnotmakeitout。Overandoverheturnedthematterinhismind。Hourspassedandhebegantothinkitmustbetimeforanotherdaytocome。Atfouro\'clockhepulledthecoversupabouthisneckandtriedtosleep。Whenhebecamedrowsyandclosedhiseyes,heraisedahandandwithitgropedaboutinthedarkness。\"Ihavemissedsome- thing。IhavemissedsomethingKateSwiftwastry- ingtotellme,\"hemutteredsleepily。ThenhesleptandinallWinesburghewasthelastsoulonthatwinternighttogotosleep。 LONELINESS HEWASTHEsonofMrs。AlRobinsonwhoonceownedafarmonasideroadleadingoffTrunionPike,eastofWinesburgandtwomilesbeyondthetownlimits。Thefarmhousewaspaintedbrownandtheblindstoallofthewindowsfacingtheroadwerekeptclosed。Intheroadbeforethehouseaflockofchickens,accompaniedbytwoguineahens,layinthedeepdust。EnochlivedinthehousewithhismotherinthosedaysandwhenhewasayoungboywenttoschoolattheWinesburgHighSchool。Oldcitizensrememberedhimasaquiet,smilingyouthinclinedtosilence。Hewalkedinthemiddleoftheroadwhenhecameintotownandsometimesreadabook。Driversofteamshadtoshoutandsweartomakehimrealizewherehewassothathewouldturnoutofthebeatentrackandletthempass。 Whenhewastwenty-oneyearsoldEnochwenttoNewYorkCityandwasacitymanforfifteenyears。HestudiedFrenchandwenttoanartschool,hopingtodevelopafacultyhehadfordrawing。InhisownmindheplannedtogotoParisandtofinishhisarteducationamongthemastersthere,butthatneverturnedout。 NothingeverturnedoutforEnochRobinson。Hecoulddrawwellenoughandhehadmanyodddeli- catethoughtshiddenawayinhisbrainthatmighthaveexpressedthemselvesthroughthebrushofapainter,buthewasalwaysachildandthatwasahandicaptohisworldlydevelopment。Henevergrewupandofcoursehecouldn\'tunderstandpeo- pleandhecouldn\'tmakepeopleunderstandhim。 Thechildinhimkeptbumpingagainstthings,againstactualitieslikemoneyandsexandopinions。 Oncehewashitbyastreetcarandthrownagainstanironpost。Thatmadehimlame。ItwasoneofthemanythingsthatkeptthingsfromturningoutforEnochRobinsonInNewYorkCity,whenhefirstwenttheretoliveandbeforehebecameconfusedanddisconcertedbythefactsoflife,Enochwentaboutagooddealwithyoungmen。Hegotintoagroupofotheryoungartists,bothmenandwomen,andintheeveningstheysometimescametovisithiminhisroom。Oncehegotdrunkandwastakentoapolicestationwhereapolicemagistratefrightenedhimhorribly,andoncehetriedtohaveanaffairwithawomanofthetownmetonthesidewalkbeforehislodginghouse。ThewomanandEnochwalkedtogetherthreeblocksandthentheyoungmangrewafraidandranaway。Thewomanhadbeendrinkingandtheincidentamusedher。Sheleanedagainstthewallofabuildingandlaughedsoheartilythatanothermanstoppedandlaughedwithher。Thetwowentawaytogether,stilllaughing,andEnochcreptofftohisroomtremblingandvexed。 TheroominwhichyoungRobinsonlivedinNewYorkfacedWashingtonSquareandwaslongandnarrowlikeahallway。Itisimportanttogetthatfixedinyourmind。ThestoryofEnochisinfactthestoryofaroomalmostmorethanitisthestoryofaman。