MikeFlannery，theWestcoteagentoftheInterurbanExpressCompany，leanedoverthecounteroftheexpressofficeandshookhisfist。Mr。
Morehouse，angryandred，stoodontheothersideofthecounter，tremblingwithrage。Theargumenthadbeenlongandheated，andatlastMr。Morehousehadtalkedhimselfspeechless。Thecauseofthetroublestoodonthecounterbetweenthetwomen。Itwasasoapboxacrossthetopofwhichwerenailedanumberofstrips，formingaroughbutserviceablecage。Inittwospottedguinea-pigsweregreedilyeatinglettuceleaves。
\"Doasyouloike，then！\"shoutedFlannery，\"payforthiman\'takethim，ordon\'tpayforthimandleavethimbe。Rulesisrules，MistherMorehouse，an\'MikeFlannery\'snotgoin\'tobecalleddownferbreakin\'ofthim。\"
\"But，youeverlastinglystupididiot！\"shoutedMr。Morehouse，madlyshakingaflimsyprintedbookbeneaththeagent\'snose，\"can\'tyoureadithere-inyourownplainprintedrates？\'Pets，domestic，FranklintoWestcote，ifproperlyboxed，twenty-fivecentseach。\'\"Hethrewthebookonthecounterindisgust。\"Whatmoredoyouwant？Aren\'ttheypets？
Aren\'ttheydomestic？Aren\'ttheyproperlyboxed？What？\"
Heturnedandwalkedbackandforthrapidly；frowningferociously。
SuddenlyheturnedtoFlannery，andforcinghisvoicetoanartificialcalmnessspokeslowlybutwithintensesarcasm。
\"Pets，\"hesaid\"P-e-t-s！Twenty-fivecentseach。Therearetwoofthem。
One！Two！Twotimestwenty-fivearefifty！Canyouunderstandthat？I
offeryoufiftycents。\"
Flanneryreachedforthebook。Heranhishandthroughthepagesandstoppedatpagesixtyfour。
\"An\'Idon\'ttakefiftycints，\"hewhisperedinmockery。\"Here\'stheruleforut。\'Whintheagintbeinannydoubtregardin\'whichoftworatesappliestoashipment，heshallchargethelarger。Thecon-sign-eymayfileaclaimfortheovercharge。\'Inthiscase，MistherMorehouse，Ibeindoubt。Petsthimanimalsmaybe，an\'domestictheybe，butpigsI\'mblamesuretheydobe，an\'merulessaysplainasthenoseonyerface，\'PigsFranklintoWestcote，thirtycintseach。\'An\'MisterMorehouse，bymearithmeticalknowledgetwotimesthurtycomestosixtycints。\"
Mr。Morehouseshookhisheadsavagely。\"Nonsense！\"heshouted，\"confoundednonsense，Itellyou！Why，youpoorignorantforeigner，thatrulemeanscommonpigs，domesticpigs，notguineapigs！\"
Flannerywasstubborn。
\"Pigsispigs，\"hedeclaredfirmly。\"Guinea-pigs，ordagopigsorIrishpigsisallthesametotheInterurbanExpressCompanyan\'toMikeFlannery。Th\'nationalityofthepigcreatesnodifferentialityintherate，MistherMorehouse！\'TwouldbethesamewastheyDutchpigsorRooshunpigs。MikeFlannery，\"headded，\"isheretotindtotheexprissbusinessandnottohouldconversationwiddagopigsinsivinteenlanguagesfertodiscoverbetheyChineseorTipperarybybirthan\'
nativity。\"
Mr。Morehousehesitated。Hebithislipandthenflungouthisarmswildly。
\"Verywell！\"heshouted，\"youshallhearofthis！Yourpresidentshallhearofthis！Itisanoutrage！Ihaveofferedyoufiftycents。Yourefuseit！Keepthepigsuntilyouarereadytotakethefiftycents，but，byGeorge，sir，ifonehairofthosepigs\'headsisharmedIwillhavethelawonyou！\"
Heturnedandstalkedout，slammingthedoor。Flannerycarefullyliftedthesoapboxfromthecounterandplaceditinacorner。Hewasnotworried。Hefeltthepeacethatcomestoafaithfulservantwhohasdonehisdutyanddoneitwell。
Mr。Morehousewenthomeraging。Hisboy，whohadbeenawaitingtheguinea-pigs，knewbetterthantoaskhimforthem。Hewasanormalboyandthereforealwayshadaguiltyconsciencewhenhisfatherwasangry。Sotheboyslippedquietlyaroundthehouse。Thereisnothingsosoothingtoaguiltyconscienceastobeoutofthepathoftheavenger。Mr。Morehousestormedintothehouse。\"Where\'stheink？\"heshoutedathiswifeassoonashisfootwasacrossthedoorsill。
Mrs。Morehousejumped，guiltily。Sheneverusedink。Shehadnotseentheink。，normovedtheink，northoughtoftheink，butherhusband\'stoneconvictedheroftheguiltofhavingborneandrearedaboy，andsheknewthatwheneverherhusbandwantedanythinginaloudvoicetheboyhadbeenatit。
\"I\'llfindSammy，\"shesaidmeekly。
WhentheinkwasfoundMr。Morehousewroterapidly，andhereadthecompletedletterandsmiledatriumphantsmile。
\"ThatwillsettlethatcrazyIrishman！\"heexclaimed。\"Whentheygetthatletterhewillhuntanotherjob，allright！\"
AweeklaterMr。MorehousereceivedalongofficialenvelopewiththecardoftheInterurbanExpressCompanyintheupperleftcorner。Hetoreitopeneagerlyanddrewoutasheetofpaper。AtthetopitborethenumberA6754。Theletterwasshort。\"Subject——Rateonguinea-pigs，\"itsaid，\"Dr。
Sir——Weareinreceiptofyourletterregardingrateonguinea-pigsbetweenFranklinandWestcoteaddressedtothepresidentofthiscompany。
AllclaimsforoverchargeshouldbeaddressedtotheClaimsDepartment。\"
Mr。MorehousewrotetotheClaimsDepartment。Hewrotesixpagesofchoicesarcasm，vituperationandargument，andsentthemtotheClaimsDepartment。
AfewweekslaterhereceivedareplyfromtheClaimsDepartment。Attachedtoitwashislastletter。
\"Dr。Sir，\"saidthereply。\"Yourletterofthe16thinst。，addressedtothisDepartment，subjectrateonguinea-pigsfromFranklintoWestcote，ree\'d。WehavetakenupthematterwithouragentatWestcote，andhisreplyisattachedherewith。Heinformsusthatyourefusedtoreceivetheconsignmentortopaythecharges。Youhavethereforenoclaimagainstthiscompany，andyourletterregardingtheproperrateontheconsignmentshouldbeaddressedtoourTariffDepartment。\"
Mr。MorehousewrotetotheTariffDepartment。Hestatedhiscaseclearly，andgavehisargumentsinfull，quotingapageortwofromtheencyclopediatoprovethatguinea-pigswerenotcommonpigs。
Withthecarethatcharacterizescorporationswhentheyaresystematicallyconducted，Mr。Morehouse\'sletterwasnumbered，O。K\'d，andstartedthroughtheregularchannels。Duplicatecopiesofthebilloflading，manifest，Flannery\'sreceiptforthepackageandseveralotherpertinentpaperswerepinnedtotheletter，andtheywerepassedtotheheadoftheTariffDepartment。
TheheadoftheTariffDepartmentputhisfeetonhisdeskandyawned。Helookedthroughthepaperscarelessly。
\"MissKane，\"hesaidtohisstenographer，\"takethisletter。\'Agent，Westcote，N。J。Pleaseadvisewhyconsignmentreferredtoinattachedpaperswasrefuseddomesticpetrates。\"\'
MissKanemadeaseriesofcurvesandanglesonhernotebookandwaitedwithpencilpoised。Theheadofthedepartmentlookedatthepapersagain。
\"Huh！guinea-pigs！\"hesaid。\"Probablystarvedtodeathbythistime！Addthistothatletter：\'Giveconditionofconsignmentatpresent。\'\"
Hetossedthepapersontothestenographer\'sdesk，tookhisfeetfromhisowndeskandwentouttolunch。
WhenMikeFlanneryreceivedtheletterhescratchedhishead。
