\"Giveprisintcondition，\"herepeatedthoughtfully。\"Nowwhatdothimclerksbewantin\'toknow，Iwonder！\'Prisintcondition，\'isut？Thimpigs，praiseSt。Patrick，dobeingoodhealth，sofarasIknow，butI
niverwasnoveternairysurgeontodagopigs。Mebbythimclerkswantsmetocallinthepigdoctheran\'havetheirpulsestook。WanthingIdoknow，howiver，whichisthey\'vegloriousappytitesforpigsoftheirsoize。Ate？They\'datethebrasspadlocksoffofabarndoorIIfthepaddypig，bythesametoken，ateasheartyasthesedagopigsdo，there\'dbeafamineinIreland。\"
Toassurehimselfthathisreportwouldbeuptodate，Flannerywenttotherearoftheofficeandlookedintothecage。Thepigshadbeentransferredtoalargerbox——adrygoodsbox。
\"Wan，——two，——t\'ree，——four，——five，——six，——sivin，——eight！\"hecounted。\"Sivinspottedan\'wanallblack。Allwellan\'heartyan\'alleatin\'loikeragin\'hippypottymusses。Hewentbacktohisdeskandwrote。
\"Mr。Morgan，HeadofTariffDepartment，\"hewrote。\"WhydoIsaydagopigsispigsbecausetheyispigsandwillbetilyousaytheyain\'twhichiswhattherulebooksaysstopyourjollyingmeyouknowitaswellasIdo。
Astohealththeyareallwellandhopingyouarethesame。P。S。Thereareeightnowthefamilyincreasedallgoodeaters。P。S。IpaidoutsofartwodollarsforcabbagewhichtheylikeshallIputinbillforsamewhat？\"
Morgan，headoftheTariffDepartment，whenhereceivedthisletter，laughed。Hereaditagainandbecameserious。
\"ByGeorge！\"hesaid，\"Flanneryisright，\'pigsispigs。\'I\'llhavetogetauthorityonthisthing。Meanwhile，MissKane，takethisletter：Agent，Westcote，N。J。Regardingshipmentguinea-pigs，FileNo。A6754。Rule83，Gen。eralInstructiontoAgents，clearlystatesthatagentsshallcollectfromconsigneeallcostsofprovender，etc。，etc。，requiredforlivestockwhileintransitorstorage。Youwillproceedtocollectsamefromconsignee。\"
Flanneryreceivedthisletternextmorning，andwhenhereadithegrinned。
\"Proceedtocollect，\"hesaidsoftly。\"Howthimclerksdoloiketobetalkin\'！Meproceedtocol-lecttwodollarsandtwinty-foivecintsoffMistherMorehouse！IwonderdothimclerksknowMistherMorehouse？I\'llgitit！Oh，yes！\'MistherMorehouse，twoan\'aquarter，plaze。\'\'Cert\'nly，medearfrindFlannery。Delighted！\'Not！\"
FlannerydrovetheexpresswagontoMr。Morehouse\'sdoor。Mr。Morehouseansweredthebell。
\"Ah，ha！\"hecriedassoonashesawitwasFlannery。\"Soyou\'vecometoyoursensesatlast，haveyou？Ithoughtyouwould！Bringtheboxin。\"
\"Ihevnobox，\"saidFlannerycoldly。\"IhevabillaginMistherJohnC。
Morehousefortwodollarsandtwinty-foivecintsforkebbagesatenbyhisdagopigs。Wudyouwishtopayut？\"
\"Pay——Cabbages——！\"gaspedMr。Morehouse。\"Doyoumeantosaythattwolittleguinea-pigs——\"
\"Eight！\"saidFlannery。\"Papaan\'mammaan\'thesixchilder。Eight！\"
ForanswerMr。MorehouseslammedthedoorinFlannery\'sface。Flannerylookedatthedoorreproachfully。
\"Itakeutthecon-sign-ydon\'twanttopayforthimkebbages，\"hesaid。
\"IfIknowsignsofrefusal，thecon-sign-yrefusestopayforwandangkebbageleafan\'behangedtome！\"
Mr。Morgan，theheadoftheTariffDepartment，consultedthepresidentoftheInterurbanExpressCompanyregardingguinea-pigs，astowhethertheywerepigsornotpigs。Thepresidentwasinclinedtotreatthematterlightly。
\"Whatistherateonpigsandonpets？\"heasked。
\"Pigsthirtycents，petstwenty-five，\"saidMorgan。
\"Thenofcourseguinea-pigsarepigs，\"saidthepresident。
\"Yes，\"agreedMorgan，\"Ilookatitthatway，too。Athingthatcancomeundertworatesisnaturallyduetobeclassedasthehigher。Butareguinea-pigs，pigs？Aren\'ttheyrabbits？\"
\"Cometothinkofit，\"saidthepresident，\"Ibelievetheyaremorelikerabbits。Sortofhalf-waystationbetweenpigandrabbit。Ithinkthequestionisthis——areguinea-pigsofthedomesticpigfamily？I\'llaskprofessorGordon。Heisauthorityonsuchthings。Leavethepaperswithme。\"
ThepresidentputthepapersonhisdeskandwrotealettertoProfessorGordon。UnfortunatelytheProfessorwasinSouthAmericacollectingzoologicalspecimens，andtheletterwasforwardedtohimbyhiswife。AstheProfessorwasinthehighestAndes，wherenowhitemanhadeverpenetrated，theletterwasmanymonthsinreachinghim。Thepresidentforgottheguinea-pigs，Morganforgotthem，Mr。Morehouseforgotthem，butFlannerydidnot。One-halfofhistimehegavetothedutiesofhisagency；theotherhalfwasdevotedtotheguinea-pigs。LongbeforeProfessorGordonreceivedthepresident\'sletterMorganreceivedonefromFlannery。
\"Aboutthemdagopigs，\"itsaid，\"whatshallIdotheyaregreatinfamilylife，noracesuicideforthem，therearethirty-twonowshallIsellthemdoyoutakethisexpressofficeforamenagerie，answerquick。\"
Morganreachedforatelegraphblankandwrote：
\"Agent，Westcote。Don\'tsellpigs。\"
HethenwroteFlanneryalettercallinghisattentiontothefactthatthepigswerenotthepropertyofthecompanybutweremerelybeingheldduringasettlementofadisputeregardingrates。HeadvisedFlannerytotakethebestpossiblecareofthem。
Flannery，letterinhand，lookedatthepigsandsighed。Thedry-goodsboxcagehadbecometoosmall。Heboardeduptwentyfeetoftherearoftheexpressofficetomakealargeandairyhomeforthem，andwentabouthisbusiness。Heworkedwithfeverishintensitywhenoutonhisrounds，forthepigsrequiredattentionandtookmostofhistime。Somemonthslater，indesperation，heseizedasheetofpaperandwrote\"160\"acrossitandmailedittoMorgan。Morganreturneditaskingforexplanation。Flanneryreplied：
\"Therebenowonehundredsixtyofthemdagopigs，forheavenssakeletmeselloffsome，doyouwantmetogocrazy，what。\"
\"Sellnopigs，\"Morganwired。
NotlongafterthisthepresidentoftheexpresscompanyreceivedaletterfromProfessorGordon。Itwasalongandscholarlyletter，butthepointwasthattheguinea-pigwastheCavaaparoeawhilethecommonpigwasthegeniusSusofthefamilySuidae。Heremarkedthattheywereprolificandmultipliedrapidly。
\"Theyarenotpigs，\"saidthepresident，decidedly，toMorgan。\"Thetwenty-fivecentrateapplies。\"
MorganmadethepropernotationonthepapersthathadaccumulatedinFileA6754，andturnedthemovertotheAuditDepartment。TheAuditDepartmenttooksometimetolookthematterup，andaftertheusualdelaywroteFlannerythatashehadonhandonehundredandsixtyguinea-pigs，thepropertyofconsignee，heshoulddeliverthemandcollectchargesattherateoftwenty-fivecentseach。
