第3章

类别:其他 作者:Michael Fairless字数:7999更新时间:18/12/17 14:59:30
\"Itisalltrue,\"hesaid;\"beautifullytrue。Butneedsuchaviewoflifenecessitatetheworkofroadmending?Surelyallmenshouldberoadmenders。\" Owiseparson,sotoreadthelessonoftheroad! \"Itistrue,\"Ianswered;\"butsomeofusfindoursalvationintheactualwork,andearnourbreadbetterinthisthaninanyotherway。Nomanisdependentonourearning,allmenonourwork。Weare\'richbeyondthedreamsofavarice\'becausewehaveallthatweneed,andyetwetastethelifeandpovertyoftheverypoor。Weare,ifyouwill,uncloisteredmonks,preachingfriarswhospeaknotwiththetongue,discipleswhohearthewisewordsofasilentmaster。\" \"RobertLouisStevensonwasaroadmender,\"saidthewiseparson。 \"Ay,andwithmorethanhispen,\"Ianswered。\"Iwonderwasheeversotrulygreat,soentirelythemanweknowandlove,aswhenheinspiredthechiefstomakeahighwayinthewilderness。SurelynomorefittingmonumentcouldexisttohismemorythantheRoadofGratitude,cut,laid,andkeptbythepure-bloodedtribekingsofSamoa。\" Parsonnodded。 \"Heknewthatthepeoplewhomakenoroadsareruledoutfromintelligentparticipationintheworld\'sbrotherhood。\"Hefilledhispipe,thinkingthewhile,thenheheldouthispouchtome。 \"Trysomeofthisbaccy,\"hesaid;\"SherwoodofMagdalensentitmefromsomeoutlandishplace。\" Iacceptedgratefully。Itwassuchtobaccoasfallstothelotoffewroadmenders。 Herosetogo。 \"IwishIcouldcomeandbreakstones,\"hesaid,alittlewistfully。 \"Nay,\"saidI,\"fewmenhavesuchwearyroadmendingasyours,andperhapsyouneedmyroadlessthanmostmen,andlessthanmostparsons。\" Weshookhands,andhewentdowntheroadandoutofmylife。 HelittleguessedthatIknewSherwood,ay,andknewhimtoo,forhadnotSherwoodtoldmeofthemanhedelightedtohonour。 Ah,well!IamnoBrowningJunior,andSherwood\'snameisnotSherwood。 CHAPTERVI AWHILEagoItookaholiday;mouched,playedtruantfrommyroad。 Jemthewaggonerhailedmeashepassed-hewasgoingtothemill-wouldIridewithhimandcomebackatopofthefullsacks? Ihidmyhammerinthehedge,climbedintothegreatwaggonwhiteandfragrantwiththecleansweetmeal,andflungmyselfdownontheemptyflourbags。Thelooped-backtarpaulinframedthelongvistaofmyroadwiththedownsbeyond;andIlayinthecooldark,caressedbythefreshbreezeinitsthoroughfare,soothedbythestrongmonotonoustrampofthegreatgreyteamandthemusicofthejanglingharness。 Jemwalkedattheleaders\'heads;itishisrulewhenthewaggonisempty,aruleno\"company\"willmakehimbreak。AtfirstI regrettedit,butsoondiscoveredIlearnttoknowhimbetterso,asheploddedalong,histhicksetfigureslightlybent,hishandsinhispockets,hiswhipunderonearm,whistlinghymntunesinalowminor,whilethegreathorsesansweredtohisvoicewithouttouchoflashorguidingrein。 Ilayasinablissfuldreamandwatchedmyroadunfold。Thesunsetthepine-bolesaflarewherethehedgeissparse,andstretchedthelongshadowsofthebesompoplarsinslantingbarsacrossthewhitehighway;theroadsidegardenssmiledfriendlywiththeirtrim-cutlaurelsandrowsofstatelysunflowers-aseemlyproximitythis,DaphneandClytie,sistersinexperience,wrappedinthewarmcaressofthegodwhosewooingtheyneednolongerfear。Hereandtherewepassedlittlegroupsofwomenandchildrenofftoworkintheearlycornfields,andJempausedinhisfondrepetitionof\"TheLordmypastureshallprepare\"togivethemgood-day。 ItislikeLife,thistravellingbackwards-thatwhichhasbeen,alonevisible-likeLife,whichisafterall,retrospectivewithasteadymovingonintotheUnknown,Unseen,untilFaithislostinSightandexperienceisnolongerthetouchstoneofhumanity。ThefaceofthesonofAdamissetontheroadhisbrothershavetravelled,markingtheirlandmarks,tracingtheirjourneyings;butwiththeeyesofachildofGodhelooksforward,strainingtocatchaglimpseofthejewelledwallsofhisfuturehome,thecity\"EternalintheHeavens。\" Presentlyweleftmyroadforthedeepshadeofanarrowcountrywaywherethegreatoaksandbeechesmeetoverheadandnohedge- clippersetshishandtostaynature\'sprofusion;andsobypleasantlanesscarcethewaggon\'swidthacross,nowshady,nowsunny,hereborderedbythicksetcoverts,theregivingonfruitfulfields,wecameatlengthtothemill。 IleftJemtohisbusinesswiththemillerandwandereddowntheflowerymeadowtolistentothemerryclackofthestreamandthevoiceofthewatersontheweir。Thegreatwheelwasatrest,asI lovebesttoseeitinthelaterafternoon;thesplashandchurnofthewaterbelongrathertothemorninghours。Itisthechiefmistakewemakeinportioningoutourdaythatwebanishresttothenight-time,whichisforsleepandrecreating,insteadofsettingapartthelaterafternoonandquiettwilighthoursforthestretchingofwearylimbsandreposeoftiredmindafteraday\'stoilthatshouldbeginandendatfive。 Thelittlestonebridgeoverthemill-streamisalmostonalevelwiththeclearrunningwater,andIlaythereandgazedatthehugewheelwhich,undermultitudinousformsanduses,isoneoftheworld\'swonders,becauseoneofthefewthingsweimitativechildrenhavenotlearntfromnature。IsitperchanceamemoryoutofthatpastwhenAdamwalkedclear-eyedinParadiseandtalkedwiththeLordinthecooloftheday?Didheseethentheflamingwheelsinstinctwithservice,wondrousmessengersoftheMostHighvouchsafedinvisiontothelaterprophets? Maybehedid,andgoingforthfrombeforetheavengingswordofhisownforgingtothebitternessofanaccursedearth,tookwithhimthisbrightmemoryofperfect,ceaselessservice,andsofashionedourlabouringwheel-patheticlinkwiththetimeofhisinnocency。 Itisoneofmanyunansweredquestions,goodtoaskbecauseithasnoanswer,onlythesuggestionofatrainofthought:perhapsweareneversoreceptiveaswhenwithfoldedhandswesaysimply,\"Thisisagreatmystery。\"IwatchedandwondereduntilJemcalled,andIhadtoleavetheripplingweirandthewater\'sside,andthewheelwithitsuntoldsecret。 Themiller\'swifegavemeteaandacrustofhome-madebread,andthemiller\'slittlemaidsatonmykneewhileItoldthesadtaleofalittlepinkcloudseparatedfromitsparentsandteazedandhuntedbymischievouslittleairs。To-morrow,ifImistakenot,hergardenwillbewetwithitstears,and,letushope,pointamoral;forthetalehaditsorigininafrenziedchickendrivenfromthesideofananxiousmother,andpursuedbyasturdy,relentlessfigureinawhitesun-bonnet。 Thelittlemaidtrottedoff,greatlysobered,tolooksomewhatprematurelyforthecloud\'stears;andIclimbedtomyplaceatthetopofthepiled-upsacks,andthencewatchedtwilightpasstostarlightthroughmynarrowpeep,and,sowatching,sleptuntilJem\'svoicehailedmefromDreamland,andIwent,onlyhalfawake,acrossthedarkfieldshome。 Autumnishereanditisalreadylate。Hehaspaintedthehedgesrussetandgold,scarletandblack,andatangleofgrey;nowhehasdampbrownleavesinhishairandfrostinhisfinger-tips。 Itisaseasonofcontrasts;atfirstallisstirandbustle,theingatheringofmanandbeast;barnandrickyardstandfilledwithgoldentreasure;atthefarmthesoundofthreshing;inwoodandcopsethesquirrelsbusied\'twixttreeandstorehouse,whiletheripenutsfallwiththudofthunderrain。Whentheharvestingisover,thefruitgathered,thelastrickthatched,therecomesapause。Earthstripsoffherbrightcoloursandshowsabareandfurrowedface;thedeadleavesfallgentlyandsadlythroughthecalm,sweetair;greymistsdrapethefieldsandhedges。Themigratorybirdshaveleft,saveafewlateswallows;andasIsitatworkinthesoft,stillrain,Icanheartheblackbird\'smelancholytrillandthethinpipeoftheredbreast\'swintersong- theairisfullofthesoundoffarewell。 ForethoughtandpreparationfortheFuturewhichshallbe; farewell,becauseoftheFuturewhichmayneverbe-forus;\"Man,thouhastgoodslaidupformanyyears,anditiswell;but,remember,thisnightTHYsoulmayberequired\";istheunvoicedlessonofautumn。Thereisgrowingupamongusagreatfear;itstaresatuswhite,wide-eyed,fromthefacesofmenandwomenalike-thefearofpain,mentalandbodilypain。Forthelasttwentyyearswehavewagedwarwithsuffering-anoblewarwhenfoughtintheinterestofthemany,butfraughtwithgreatdangertoeachindividualman。Itisthefearwhichshouldnotbe,ratherthanthe\'hopewhichisinus,\'thatleadsmeninthesedaystodrapeDeathinaflowerymantle,tolaystressontheshortnessofparting,thespeedyreunion,topostponetheirgood-byesuntilthelastmoment,oravoidsayingthemaltogether;andthisfearisapoor,ignoblething,unworthyofthosewhoareasgods,knowinggoodandevil。Wearestillpayingthepriceofthatknowledge; sufferinginbothkindsisasubstantialpartofit,andbringsitsownhealing。Letuspaylikemen,ourfacetotheopenheaven,neitherwhimperinglikechildreninthedark,norlulledtounnecessaryoblivionbysomelethaldrug;foritismanly,notmorbid,todaretotastethepungentsavourofpain,thelingeringsadnessoffarewellwhichemphasisestheaftermathoflife;itshouldhaveitsplaceinallourpreparationasapartofourinheritancewedarenotbewithout。 Thereisanoldcoupleinourvillagewhoarepastwork。Themarrieddaughterhasmadeshifttotakehermotherandtheparishhalf-crown,butthereisneitherroomnorfoodforthefather,andhemustgotoN。Ifhusbandandwifewenttogether,theywouldbeseparatedattheworkhousedoor。Thepartinghadtocome;itcameyesterday。Isawthemstumblinglamelydowntheroadontheirlastjourneytogether,walkingsidebysidewithouttouchorspeech,seeingandheedingnothingbutablankfuture。Astheypassedmetheoldmansaidgruffly,\"\'Tisfareno\';betterbegettin\'back\"; butthewomanshookherhead,andtheybreastedthehilltogether。 Atthetoptheypaused,shookhands,andseparated;onewenton,theotherturnedback;andastheoldwomanlimpedblindlybyI turnedaway,fortherearesightsamandarenotlookupon。Shepassed;andIheardachild\'sshrillvoicesay,\"Icometolookforyou,gran\";andIthankedGodthatthereneedbenoutterlonelinessintheworldwhileitholdsalittlechild。 Nowitismyturn,andImustleavethewaysidetoserveinthesheepfoldsduringthewintermonths。Itisscarcelyafarewell,formyroadisubiquitous,eternal;therearegreenwaysinParadiseandgoldenstreetsinthebeautifulCityofGod。 Nevertheless,myheartisheavy;for,viewedbythelightofthewaningyear,roadmendingseemsagreatandwonderfulworkwhichI havepoorlyconceivedofandmeanlyperformed:yetIhavelearnttounderstanddimlythetruthsofthreegreatparadoxes-theblessingofacurse,thevoiceofsilence,thecompanionshipofsolitude-andsotakemyleaveofthisstretchofroad,andofyouwhohavefaredalongthewhitehighwaythroughthemediumofaprintedpage。 Farewell!Itisaroadmender\'sword;IcryyouGodspeedtothenextmilestone-andbeyond。 OUTOFTHESHADOW CHAPTERI IAMnolongeraroadmender;thestretchofwhitehighwaywhichleadstotheendoftheworldwillknowmenomore;thefieldsandhedgerows,grassandleafstiffwiththecrisprimeofwinter\'sbreath,liebeyondmyhorizon;theewesinthefolding,theirmysteriouseyesquickwiththeconsciousnessofcomingmotherhood,answeranother\'svoiceandhand;whileIliehere,notinthelonelycompanionshipofmyexpectations,butwheretheshadowisbrightwithkindlyfacesandgentlehands,untilonekinderandgentlerstillcarriesmedownthestairwayintothelargerroom。 Butnowtheveilwasheldasideandonewentbycrownedwiththemajestyofyears,wearingtheermineofanunstainedrule,thepurpleofherpeople\'sloyalty。Nationsstoodwithbatedbreathtoseeherpassinthestarlitmistofherchildren\'stears;amonarch-greatestofhertime;anempress-conqueredmencalledmother;awoman-Englishmencriedqueen;stillthecrownedcaptiveofherpeople\'sheart-theprisoneroflove。 Thenight-goerspassedundermywindowinsilence,neithersongnorshoutbrokethewelcomedark;nextmorningtheworkmenwhowentbywerestrangelyquiet。 \'VICTORIADEIGRATIABRITANNIARUMREGINA。\' Didtheythinkofhowthatlegendwoulddisappear,andofallitmeant,astheypaidtheirpenniesatthecoffee-stall?Thefeetrarelyknowthetruevalueandworkofthehead;butallEnglishmenhavebeenandwillbequicktoacknowledgeandrevereVictoriabythegraceofGodawisewoman,agreatandlovingmother。 Yearsago,I,standingatalevelcrossing,sawherpass。Thetrainsloweddownandshecaughtsightofthegatekeeper\'slittlegirlwhohadclimbedthebarrier。Suchasmileasshegaveher! AndthenIcaughtaquickstartledgestureassheslippedfrommyvision;Ithoughtafterwardsitwasthatshefearedthechildmightfall。Motherfirst,thenQueen;evensorestcametoher-notinoneoftheroyalpalaces,butinherownhome,surroundedbytheimmediatecircleofhernearestanddearest,whiletheworldkeptwatchandward。 I,ashyloverofthefieldsandwoods,longedalways,shouldapainlesspassingbevouchsafedme,tomakemybedonthefragrantpineneedlesinthealonenessofagreatforest;tolieonceagainasIhadlainmanyatime,bathedinthebittersweetnessofthesun-blessedpines,lappedinthemanifoldsilence;myearattunedtothewindofHeavenwithitscallfromtheCitiesofPeace。Insternermood,whenLove\'shandheldascourge,Icravedratherthestressofthemoorlandwithitsbleakermindimperativeofsacrifice。TorestagainundertheleeofRipponTorsweptbythestrongpeat-smellingbreeze;tostareuntiredatthelongcloud- shadowedreaches,andwatchthemist-wraithshuddleandshrinkroundthestonesofblood;untilmysacrificetoowasaccomplished,andmysoulhadfled。Awildwastemoor;avastvoidsky;andnaughtbetweenheavenandearthbutman,hissin-glazedeyesseekingafarthedistantlightofhisownheart。 Withyearscamecounselsmoreprofound,andtheknowledgethatmanwasnomeredwellerinthewoodstofollowthefootstepsofthepipinggod,butanintegralpartofanorganisedwhole,inwhichPantoohashisfulfilment。ThewiseVenetiansknew;andreadpantheismintoChristianitywhentheysetthesewordsroundEzekiel\'slivingcreaturesinthealtarvaultofStMark\'s:- QUAEQUESUBOBSCURISDECRISTODICTAFIGURISHISAPERIREDATURET INHIS,DEUSIPSENOTATUR。 \"Thoushalthavenoneothergodsbutme。\"Ifmanhadbeenabletokeepthisonecommandmentperfectlytheotherninewouldneverhavebeenwritten;insteadhehascomprehensivelydisregardedit,andperhapsnevermorethannowinthetwentiethcentury。Ah,well! thisworld,inspiteofallitssinning,isstilltheGardenofEdenwheretheLordwalkedwithman,notinthecoolofevening,butintheheatandstressoftheimmediateworkingday。ThereisnoangelnowwithflamingswordtokeepthewayoftheTreeofLife,buttapersalightmorningbymorningintheHostelofGodtopointustoit;andwe,whoareasgodsknowinggoodandevil,partakeofthatfruit\"whereofwhosoeatethshallneverdie\";thegreatestgiftorthemostawfulpenalty-EternalLife。 Ithen,withmycravingfortreeandsky,heldthatagreatcapitalwithitsstiroflifeanddeath,oftoilandstrifeandpleasure,wasanillplaceforasickmantowaitin;aplacetoshrinkfromasachildshrinksfromtherudeblowofoneoutofauthority。Yethere,farfrommoorandforest,hillsideandhedgerow,inthefamilysitting-roomoftheEnglish-speakingpeoples,theLondonmuchmisunderstood,Ifindthefulfilmentbyantithesisofalldesire。Forthelonelinessofthemoorland,thereisthewarmthandcompanionshipofLondon\'sswiftbeatingheart。Forsilencethereissound-thesoundandstirofservice-forthemostpartfarinexcessofitsearthlyequivalent。AgainstthefragrantincenseofthepinesIsetthehonestsweatofthemanwhoselifetimeisthemeasureofhisworkingday。\"Hethatlovethnothisbrotherwhomhehathseen,howshallheloveGodwhomhehathnotseen?\"wroteBlessedJohn,whohimselflovedsomuchthathebeheldtheLambasithadbeenslainfromthebeginningwhenAdamfell,andtheCityofGodwithlightmostprecious。Theburdenofcorporatesin,theswordofcorporatesorrow,thejoyofcorporaterighteousness;thuswebecomecitizensintheKingdomofGod,andcompanionsofallhiscreatures。\"Itisnotgoodthatthemanshouldbealone,\"saidtheLordGod。 Ilivenowasitwereintwoworlds,theworldofsight,andtheworldofsound;andtheyscarcelyevertoucheachother。Ihearthegrindofheavytraffic,thestruggleofhorsesonthefrost- breathedground,thedecorousjoltofomnibuses,thejangleofcabbells,thesharpwarningofbicyclesatthecorner,theswiftrattleofcosters\'cartsastheygosouthatnightwiththeirshouting,goadingcrew。AllthesethingsIhear,andmore;butI seenoroad,onlythesilentriverofmyheartwithitstaleofwonderandyears,andthewhitebeatofseagulls\'wingsinstronginquiringflight。 Sometimesthereisnaughttoseeonthewaterwaybutasolitaryblackhull,averyStygianferry-boat,mannedbyasolitaryfigure,andmovingslowlyupundertheimpulseofthefar-reachingsweeps。 Thenthegreatbargespasswiththeircoffinedtreasure,drawnbyasmallself-righteoussteam-tug。Later,lightenedoftheirload,andwaitingonwindandtide,Iseethemswoopingbylikebirdssetfree;tawnysailsthatmindmeofred-roofedWhitbywithitsnorthernfleet;blacksailsasofsomeheedlessTheseus;whitesailsthatsweepoutofthemorningmist\"likerestlessgossameres。\"Theymakethebridge,whichisjustwithinmyvision,andthenawaypastWestminsterandBlackfriarswhereStPaul\'sgreatdomeliftsthecrosshighoveraself-seekingcity;pastSouthwarkwhereEngland\'spoetilluminatesinthescrollofdivinewisdomthesignoftheTabard;pasttheTowerwithitshauntingghostsofhistory;pastGreenwich,fairycity,caughtinthemeshesofriversidemist;andthenthesaltandspeerofthesea,thecompanyingwithgreatships,thefreshburden。 AtnightIseethemagain,silent,mysterious;searchingthedarknesswithunwinkingyellowstare,ledbyagreatgreenlight。 Theycreepupunderthebridgewhichspanstheriverwithitswatchingeyes,andvanish,cryingbackawarningnoteastheymaketheupperreach,orstridenthail,asachainofkindredphantomspasses,ploughingacontrarytide。