第4章

类别:其他 作者:Michael Fairless字数:7936更新时间:18/12/17 14:59:30
ThroughoutthelongwatchesofthenightIfollowthem;andintheearlymorningtheyslideby,theireyespaleinthetwilight;whilethestarsflickerandfade,andthegaslampsdiedownintoadullyellowblotchagainstthegloryandglowofanewday。 CHAPTERII FEBRUARYishere,Februaryfill-dyke;themonthofpurification,ofcleansingrainsandpulsingboundingstreams,andwhitemistclinginginsistenttofieldandhedgerowsothatwhenherveiliswithdrawngreennessmaymakeusglad。 Theriverhasbeenuniformlygreyoflate,withnowindtoruffleitssurfaceortospeedthebargesdroppingslowlyandsullenlydownwiththetidethroughablurringhaze。Iwatchedoneyesterday,itsuselesssailshalf-furledandnosignoflifesavethemanatthehelm。Itdriftedstealthilypast,andalittlebehind,flyinglow,cameasolitaryseagull,greyastheriver\'shaze-afollowingbird。 OnceagainIlayonmybackinthebottomofthetarryoldfishingsmack,blueskyaboveandnosoundbuttheknock,knockofthewaves,andthethudandcurloffallingfoamastheoldboat\'sbluntnosebreastedthecomingsea。ThenDaddyWhiddonspoke。 \"Afollerin\'burrd,\"hesaid。 Igotup,andlookedacrossthebluefieldwewereploughingintowhitefurrows。Farawayatinysailscarredthegreatsolitude,andasterncameagullflyingslowlyclosetothewater\'sbreast。 DaddyWhiddonwavedhispipetowardsit。 \"Afollerin\'burrd,\"hesaid,again;andagainIwaited;questionswerenotgratefultohim。 \"Therebeacarpsethere,sureenough,acarpsedriftin\'andshiftin\'onthefloorofthesea。Therebethoseascan\'trest,poorsawls,andher\'llbemun,her\'llbemun,andthesperritofheriswiththeburrd。\" Theclumsyboomswungacrossaswechangedourcourse,andthewaterranfromusinsmoothreachesoneitherside:thebirdflewsteadilyon。 \"Whatwillthespiritdo?\"Isaid。 Theoldmanlookedatmegravely。 \"Her\'llrestintheLard\'stime,intheLard\'sgudetime-butnowher\'lljustbefollerin\'onwiththeburrd。\" Thegullwasflyingclosetousnow,andacoldwindsweptthesunnysea。Ishivered:Daddylookedatmecuriously。 \"Therebereasonenoughtobecawldifusdidbutknawit,butIhemos\'usedto\'em,poorsawls。\"Heshadedhiskeenoldblueeyes,andlookedawayacrossthewater。Hisfacekindled。\"Therebeaskulecomin\',andbymysawl\'tismackereltheybedrivin\'。\" Iwatchedeagerly,andsawthedarklineriseandfallinthetroughofthesea,and,awaybehind,thestirandrushoftumblingporpoisesastheychasedtheirprey。 Againwechangedourtack,andeachtakinganoar,pulledlustilyforthebeach。 \"PleaseGodher\'llbreakinshore,\"saidDaddyWhiddon;andheshoutedthenewstotheidlewaitingmenwhohailedus。 Inamomentallwasstir,forthefishinghadbeenslack。Twoboatsputoutwiththelithebrownseine。Thedarklinehadturned,buttheschoolwasstillbehind,churningthewaterinclumsyhaste;theywerecomingin。 Thenthebritbrokeinsilveryleapingwavesontheshelvingbeach。 Thethreefoldhuntwasover;theporpoisesturnedouttoseainsearchoffreshquarry;andtheseine,draggedbyreadyhands,cameslowly,stubbornlyinwithitsquiveringtreasureoffish。Theyhadsoughtahavenandfoundnone;thebritlaydyinginflickeringiridescentheapsasthebare-leggedbabiesofthevillagegatheredthemup;andfarawayoverthewaterIsawasinglegreyspeck;itwasthefollowingbird。 Thecurtainofriverhazefallsback;bargeandbirdarealikegone,andthelamplighterhaslitthefirstgas-lamponthefarsideofthebridge。EverynightIwatchhimcome,hisprogressmarkedbythegreatyelloweyesthatwakethedark。Sometimeshewalksquickly;sometimesheloitersonthebridgetochat,orstareatthedarkwater;buthealwayscomes,leavinghiswatchfuldeterrenttrainbehindhimtopolicethenight。 OnceDemeterintheblackanguishofherdesolationsearchedforlostPersephonebythelightofHecate\'storch;andsearchingallinvain,spurnedbeneathheremptyfeetanearthbarrenofhersmile;frozewithsetbrowsthemerrybrooksandstreams;andsmoteforest,andplain,andfruitfulfield,withthebreathofherlastdespair,untilevenIambe\'slaughingjestwasstill。Andthenwhenthedesolationwascomplete,acrossthewastedvalleywherethestarvelingcattlescarcelylongedtobrowse,camethedreadfulchariot-andPersephone。ThedayoftheprisonerofHadeshaddawned;andasthesunflamedslowlyuptolightherthwartedeyestheworldsprangintoblossomatherfeet。 WecanneverbetooPaganwhenwearetrulyChristian,andtheoldmythsareeternaltruthsheldfastintheChurch\'snet。PrometheusfetchedfirefromHeaven,tobeslainforeverinthefetching;andlo,aGreaterthanPrometheuscametofirethecressetoftheCross。Demeterwaitsnowpatientlyenough。Persephonewaits,too,inthefaithofthesunshecannotsee:andeverylamplitcarriesonthecrusadewhichhasforitsgoalasunless,moonless,citywhoselightistheLightoftheworld。 \"Lumeelassu,chevisibilefacelocreatoreaquellacreatura,chesoloinluivederehalasuapace。\" Immediatelyoutsidemywindowisalimetree-alittleblackskeletonofabundantbranches-inwhichsparrowscongregatetochirpandbicker。FartherawayIhaveaglimpseofgracefulplanes,childrenofmoonlightandmist;theirdaintyrobes,stillmoreorlessunsullied,gleamghostlyinthegaslightathwartthedark。Theymakeabraveshoweveninwinterwiththeirfeatherybranchesandswingingtassels,whereasmylittletreestandsstarkanduncompromising,withitshordeofsootysparrowscockneytothelasttailfeather,andapatheticinabilitytolookanythingbutblack。Raincomeswithstrongcaressingfingers,andthebranchesseemnowhitthecleanerforhercare;butthentheirglisteningblacknessmirrorsbackthesucceedingsunlight,asamuddypavementwillsometimeslapourfeetinaseaofgold。Thelittlewetsparrowsareforthemomentequallytransformed,forthesunturnstheirdun-colouredcoatstoaruddybronze,andcriesChrysostomasitkisseseachshinybeak。TheyaredumbChrysostoms;buttheypreachagoldengospel,forthesparrowsaretoLondonwhattherainbowwastoeightsavedsoulsoutofawasteofwaters-aperpetualsignoftherememberingmerciesofGod。 Lastnighttherewasasuddenclatterofhoofs,ashout,andthensilence。Arunawaycab-horse,adarknight,awidecrossing,andaheavyburden:sodeathcametoapoorwoman。Peoplefromthehousewentouttohelp;andIheardofher,thecentreofanunknowingcuriouscrowd,asshelaybonnetlessinthemudoftheroad,herheadonthekerb。Arudebutpainlessdeath:themiserylayinherlife;forthiswoman-worn,white-haired,andwrinkled-hadbutfiftyyearstosetagainstsuchacondition。Thepolicemanreportedherrespectable,hard-working,livingapartfromherhusbandwithasister;butalthoughtheysharedrooms,they\"didnotspeak,\"andthesisterrefusedallresponsibility;sotheparishburiedthedeadwoman,andthusendedanuneventfultragedy。 Wasitherownfault?Ifso,thegreaterpathos。Thelonelysoulsthatholdouttimidhandstoanunheedingworldhavetheirmeedofinteriorcomfortevenhere,whilethesonsofconsolationwaitonthethresh-holdfortheirfootfall:butGodhelpthesoulthatbarsitsowndoor!ItiskickingagainstthepricksofDivineordinance,theordinanceofatriuneGod;whetheritbethedwellerincrowdedstreetortenementwhoisproudtosay,\"Ikeepmyselftomyself,\"orSenecawritinginpitifulcomplacency,\"WheneverI havegoneamongmen,Ihavereturnedhomelessofaman。\"Whateverthenextworldholdsinstore,wearebiddeninthistoseekandserveGodinourfellow-men,andinthecreaturesofHismakingwhomHecallsbyname。 Itwasoncemyprivilegetoknowanoldorgan-grindernamedGawdine。Hewasahardswearer,aharddrinker,ahardliver,andhefortifiedhimselfbodyandsoulagainsttheworld:heevendrankalone,whichisanevilsign。 OnedaytoGawdinesobercamealittledirtychild,whoclungtohisemptytrouserleg-hehadlostalimbyearsbefore-withapersistentunintelligiblerequest。Heshookthelittlechapoffwithablowandacurse;andthechildwastrottingdismallyaway,whenitsuddenlyturned,ranback,andheldupadirtyfaceforakiss。 TwodayslaterGawdinefellunderapassingdraywhichinflictedterribleinternalinjuriesonhim。Theypatchedhimupinhospital,andhewentbacktohisorgan-grinding,takingwithhimtwofriends-apainwhichfellsuddenlyuponhimtorackandrendwithananguishofcrucifixion,andthememoryofachild\'supturnedface。Outwardlyhewasthesamesavethathechangedthetunesofhisorgan,outoflong-hoardedsavings,forthejigsandreelswhichchildrenholddear,andstoodpatientlyplayingtheminchild-crowdedalleys,wherepenniesarenotasplentifulaselsewhere。 Hecontinuedtodrink;itdidnotcomewithinhisnewcodetostop,sincehecould\"carryhisliquorwell;\"butherarely,ifever,swore。Hetoldmethistalethroughthethroesofhisanguishashelaycrouchedonamattressonthefloor;andasthegripofthepaintookhimhetoreandbitathishandsuntiltheyweremaimedandbleeding,tokeepthereadycursesoffhislips。 Hetoldthestory,buthegavenoreason,offerednoexplanation: hehasbeendeadnowmanyayear,andthuswouldIwritehisepitaph:- HesawthefaceofalittlechildandlookedonGod。 CHAPTERIII \"TWObegan,inalowvoice,\'Why,thefactis,yousee,Miss,thishereoughttohavebeenaREDrose-tree,andweputawhiteoneinbymistake。\'\" AsIlookroundthisroomIfeelsureTwo,andFive,andSeven,haveallbeenatworkonit,andmadenomistakes,forroundthewallsrunsafriezeofsquatstandardrose-trees,redasredcanbe,andjustlikethosethatAlicesawintheQueen\'sgarden。InbetweenthemareChaucer\'sname-children,primlittledaisies,peeringwideawakefromgreengrass。ThissamegrasshasahistorywhichIhaveheard。Intheoriginalstencilforthefriezeitwaspurelyconventionalliketherest,andmetinspikeycurvesroundeachtree;thepainter,however,whowasdoingthework,wasaloverofthefields;andfeelingthatsuchgrasswasatravesty,headdedonhisownaccountdaintylittletussocks,andsoftenedthehardlineintoatuftedcarpet,thegrassgrowingirregularly,bentatwillbythewind。 Theresultfromthestandpointofconventionalartisindeeddisastrous;butmysympathyandgratitudearewiththepainter。I see,ashesaw,thefar-reachingrobeoflivingineffablegreen,ofwhosebrilliancetheeyeneverhastoomuch,andinwhoseweftnotwothreadsarealike;andshrinkashedidfromtheconventionalisingofthatwindsweptglory。 Theseahasitscrestedwavesofrecognisableform;theriveritseddyandswirlandseparatevortices;butthegrass!Thewindblowethwhereitlistethandthegrassbowsasthewindblows- \"thoucanstnottellwhitheritgoeth。\"Ittakesnopattern,itobeysnorecognisedlaw;itislikeabeautifulcreatureofathousandwaywardmoods,anditsvoiceislikenothingelseinthewideworld。Itbidsyourestandburyyourtiredfaceinthegreencoolness,andbreatheofitsbreathandofthebreathofthegoodearthfromwhichmanwastakenandtowhichhewillonedayreturn。 Then,ifyoulendyourearandaresilentminded,youmayhearwondrousthingsofthedeepplacesoftheearth;oflifeinmineralandstoneaswellasinpulsingsap;ofagreenworldasthestarssawitbeforemantroditunderfoot-oftheemeraldwhichhasitsplacewiththerestintheCityofGod。 \"WhatifearthBebuttheshadowofheaven,andthingstherein,Eachtoeachotherlike,morethanonearthtothought?\" Itisanaturalpartofcivilisation\'slustofre-arrangementthatweshouldbesoreadytoconventionalisethebeautyofthisworldintodecorativepatternsforourpilgrimtents。Itisaphase,andwillmeltintootherphases;butittendstotheincreaseofartificiality,andexistsnotonlyinartbutineverything。Itisnonewthingforjadedsentimenttocravethespuroftheunnatural,topreferthecleverimitation,toliveinaDevachanwherethesurroundingsappearthatwhichwewouldhavethemtobe; butitisaninterestingrecordofthepulseofthepresentdaythat\'AnEnglishwoman\'sLoveLetters\'shouldhavetakensocietybystorminthewayitcertainlyhas。 Itisadelightfulbooktoleaveabout,withitsvellumbinding,daintyribbons,andthehallmarkofagreatpublisher\'sname。Butwhenweseekwithinwefindlovewithitsthousandvoicesandwaywardmoods,itsshygracesandseemlyreticences,lovewhichhasitsthroneandrobeofstateaswellasthegarmentofthebeggarmaid,lovewhichisbeforetimewas,whichknewtheworldwhenthestarstookuptheircourses,presentedtousingushingoutpourings,theappropriatelanguageofawoman\'shearttotheboorshedelightstohonour。 \"Itiswomanwhoisthegloryofman,\"saystheauthorof\'TheHouseofWisdomandLove,\'\"REGINAMUNDI,greater,becausesofartheless;andmanisherhead,butonlyasheserveshisqueen。\" Setthissoberaphorismagainsttheschoolgirllove-makingwhichkissesaman\'sfeetandgailyrefuseshimthebarrenhonourofhavinglovedherfirst。 Thereisscantneedfortheapologiawhichprecedestheletters;afewpagesdispelsthefearthatwearepryingintoanother\'ssoul。 Asfortheauthorship,thereisawoman\'sinfluence,anartist\'spoorlyconcealedbiasintheforeignletters;andfortherestaman\'sblunders-somucheasiertoseeinanotherthantoavoidoneself-writlargefromcovertocover。KingCophetua,whosends\"profoundlygratefulremembrances,\"hasmostsurelywrittenthelettershewouldwishtoreceive。 \"MrsMeynell!\"criesonereviewer,triumphantly。Nay,thesaintsbegoodtous,whathasMrsMeynellincommonwiththe\"Englishwoman\'s\"language,style,ormostunconvincingpassion? Mencanwriteasfromawoman\'sheartwhentheyaremindedtodosoindesperateearnestness-thereisClarissaHarloweandStevenson\'sKirstie,andmanymoretoproveit;butwhenamanwritesastheauthorofthe\"LoveLetters\"writes,Ifeel,asdidthepainterofthefrieze,thatpattern-makinghasgonetoofarandincludedthatwhich,likethegrass,shouldbesparedsuchaconvention。 \"Iquiteagreewithyou,\"saidtheDuchess,\"andthemoralofthatis-\'Bewhatyouwouldseemtobe\'-or,ifyou\'dliketoputitmoresimply-\'neverimagineyourselfnottobeotherwisethanwhatitmightappeartoothersthatwhatyouwereormighthavebeenwasnototherwisethanwhatyouhadbeenwouldhaveappearedtothemtobeotherwise。\'\"AndsobywayoftheQueen\'sgardenIcomebacktomyroomagain。 Myheart\'saffectionsarestillcentredonmyoldattic,withboardedfloorandwhite-washedwalls,wherethesunblazonedafriezeofredandgolduntilhetravelledtoofartowardsthenorth,themoonstreamedintopaintthetreesininkywaveringshadows,andthestarsflashedtheirglorytomeacrosstheyears。 Butnowsunandmoongreetmeonlyindirectly,andundertheredroseshangpictures,someofthemthedearcompanionsofmydays。 OppositemeistheArundelprintofthePresentation,paintedbythegentle\"BrotheroftheAngels。\"PriestSimeon,astatelyfigureingreenandgold,greatwithprophecy,gazesadoringlyattheBambinoheholdswithfatherlycare。OurLady,inrobeofredandveilofshadowedpurple,isinstinctwithlightdespitethesombrecolouring,asshestretchesouthungering,awe-struckhandsforhersoul\'sdelight。StJoseph,dignifiedguardianandservitor,standsbehind,holdingtheSacrificeofthePoortoredeemtheFirst-begotten。 StPeterMartyrandtheDominicannun,gazinginraptcontemplationatthescene,arenotonewhitsurprisedtofindthemselvesinthepresenceofeternalmysteries。IntheEntombment,whichhangsontheoppositewall,StDominiccomesroundthecornerfullofgrievousamazeandtenderestsympathy,butwithnosenseofshockorintrusion,forwashenot\"famigliardiCristo\"?Andsohetakesitallin;thestonebedemptyandwaiting;theBelovedcradledforthelasttimeonHismother\'skneestobewashed,lappedround,andlaidtorestasifHewereagaintheBabeofBethlehem。HeseestheMagdalenanointingtheSacredFeet;BlessedJohncaringforthelivingandtheDead;andhe,Dominic-houndoftheLord-havinghisreal,livingshareintheanguishandhope,thebeddingofthedearestDead,whodidbutleavethisearththatHemightmanifestHimselfmorecompletely。 Underneath,withaleapacrossthecenturies,isRossetti\'spicture;Dantethistimetheonlooker,Beatrice,inherpalebeauty,thedeath-kissedone。Thesameideaunderdifferentrepresentations;theoneconceivedinchildlikesimplicity,theotherrecalling,eveninthephotograph,itswealthofcolourandimagining;theoneaworld-wideideal,theotheranindividualexpressionofit。 BeatricewastoDantetheinclusionofbelief。Shewasmoretohimthanhehimselfknew,farmoretohimafterherdeaththanbefore。 And,therefore,theanalogybetweenthepictureshasatcoreacommonreality。\"ItisexpedientforyouthatIgoaway,\"isconstantlybeingsaidtousasweclingearthliketotheoutwardexpression,ratherthantotheinwardmanifestation-andblessedarethosewhohearandunderstand,foritisspokenonlytosuchashavebeenwithHimfromthebeginning。Theeternalmysteriescomeintotimeforusindividuallyunderwidelydifferingforms。Thetinychildmothersitsdoll,croonstoit,spendsherselfuponit,whyshecannottellyou;andwewhoarehereinourextremeyouth,nevertobemenandwomengrowninthisworld,nurseourideal,exchangeit,refashionit,callitbymanynames;andatlastinhereorhereafterwefindinitsnakedtruththeChildinthemanger,evenastheWiseMenfoundHimwhentheycamefromtheEasttoseekagreatKing。Thereisbutonenecessaryconditionofthisfinding;wemustfollowtheparticularmanifestationoflightgivenus,neverrestinguntilitrests-overtheplaceoftheChild。 Andthereisbutoneinsurmountablehindrance,theextinctionofordrawingbackfromthelighttrulyapprehendedbyus。Weforgetthis,andjudgeothermenbythelightofourownsoul。 Ithinktheoldbishopmusthaveunderstoodit。Heismyfriendoffriendsasheliesoppositemywindowinhisalabastersleep,cladinpontificalrobes,withunshodfeet,alittleislandofwhitepeaceinamany-colouredmarblesea。Thefaithfulsculptorhasgiveneverylineandwrinkle,theheavyeyelidsandsunkenfaceoftiredoldage,butwithalthesmileofacontentedchild。