SometimesEsmondwouldthinktherewashope。Thenagainhewouldbeplaguedwithdespair，atsomeimpertinenceorcoquetryofhismistress。Fordaystheywouldbelikebrotherandsister，orthedearestfriends——she，simple，fond，andcharming——he，happybeyondmeasureathergoodbehavior。Butthiswouldallvanishonasudden。Eitherhewouldbetoopressing，andhinthislove，whenshewouldrebuffhiminstantly，andgivehisvanityaboxontheear;orhewouldbejealous，andwithperfectgoodreason，ofsomenewadmirerthathadsprungup，orsomerichyounggentlemannewlyarrivedinthetown，thatthisincorrigibleflirtwouldsethernetsandbaitstodrawin。IfEsmondremonstrated，thelittlerebelwouldsay——\"Whoareyou？Ishallgomyownway，sirrah，andthatwayistowardsahusband，andIdon\'twantYOUontheway。I
amforyourbetters，Colonel，foryourbetters:doyouhearthat？
Youmightdoifyouhadanestateandwereyounger;onlyeightyearsolderthanI，yousay！pish，youareahundredyearsolder。
Youareanold，oldGraveairs，andIshouldmakeyoumiserable，thatwouldbetheonlycomfortIshouldhaveinmarryingyou。Butyouhavenotmoneyenoughtokeepacatdecentlyafteryouhavepaidyourmanhiswages，andyourlandladyherbill。DoyouthinkIamgoingtoliveinalodging，andturnthemuttonatastringwhilstyourhonornursesthebaby？Fiddlestick，andwhydidyounotgetthisnonsenseknockedoutofyourheadwhenyouwereinthewars？Youarecomebackmoredismalanddrearythanever。Youandmammaarefitforeachother。YoumightbeDarbyandJoan，andplaycribbagetotheendofyourlives。\"
\"Atleastyouowntoyourworldliness，mypoorTrix，\"sayshermother。
\"Worldliness。Oh，myprettylady！DoyouthinkthatIamachildinthenursery，andtobefrightenedbyBogey！Worldliness，tobesure;andpray，madam，whereistheharmofwishingtobecomfortable？Whenyouaregone，youdearestoldwoman，orwhenI
amtiredofyouandhaverunawayfromyou，whereshallIgo？
ShallIgoandbeheadnursetomyPopishsister—in—law，takethechildrentheirphysic，andwhip\'em，andput\'emtobedwhentheyarenaughty？ShallIbeCastlewood\'supperservant，andperhapsmarryTomTusher？Merci！IhavebeenlongenoughFrank\'shumbleservant。WhyamInotaman？Ihavetentimeshisbrains，andhadIwornthe——well，don\'tletyourladyshipbefrightened——hadIwornaswordandperiwiginsteadofthismantleandcommodetowhichnaturehascondemnedme——（though\'tisaprettystuff，too——CousinEsmond！youwillgototheExchangeto—morrow，andgettheexactcounterpartofthisribbon，sir;doyouhear？）——Iwouldhavemadeournametalkedabout。SowouldGraveairsherehavemadesomethingoutofournameifhehadrepresentedit。MyLordGraveairswouldhavedoneverywell。Yes，youhaveaveryprettyway，andwouldhavemadeaverydecent，gravespeaker。\"AndhereshebegantoimitateEsmond\'swayofcarryinghimselfandspeakingtohisface，andsoludicrouslythathismistressburstouta—laughing，andevenhehimselfcouldseetherewassomelikenessinthefantasticalmaliciouscaricature。
\"Yes，\"saysshe，\"Isolemnlyvow，own，andconfess，thatIwantagoodhusband。Where\'stheharmofone？Myfaceismyfortune。
Who\'llcome？——buy，buy，buy！Icannottoil，neithercanIspin，butIcanplaytwenty—threegamesonthecards。Icandancethelastdance，Icanhuntthestag，andIthinkIcouldshootflying。
Icantalkaswickedasanywomanofmyyears，andknowenoughstoriestoamuseasulkyhusbandforatleastonethousandandonenights。Ihaveaprettytastefordress，diamonds，gambling，andoldChina。Ilovesugar—plums，Malineslace（thatyoubroughtme，cousin，isverypretty），theopera，andeverythingthatisuselessandcostly。Ihavegotamonkeyandalittleblackboy——Pompey，sir，goandgiveadishofchocolatetoColonelGraveairs，——andaparrotandaspaniel，andImusthaveahusband。Cupid，youhear？\"
\"Iss，Missis！\"saysPompey，alittlegrinningnegroLordPeterborrowgaveher，withabirdofParadiseinhisturbant，andacollarwithhismistress\'snameonit。
\"Iss，Missis！\"saysBeatrix，imitatingthechild。\"Andifhusbandnotcome，Pompeymustgofetchone。\"
AndPompeywentawaygrinningwithhischocolatetrayasMissBeatrixranuptohermotherandendedhersallyofmischiefinhercommonway，withakiss——nowonderthatuponpayingsuchapenaltyherfondjudgepardonedher。
WhenMr。Esmondcamehome，hishealthwasstillshattered;andhetookalodgingneartohismistresses，atKensington，gladenoughtobeservedbythem，andtoseethemdayafterday。Hewasenabledtoseealittlecompany——andofthesorthelikedbest。
Mr。SteeleandMr。Addisonbothdidhimthehonortovisithim;anddrankmanyaglassofgoodclaretathislodging，whilsttheirentertainer，throughhiswound，waskepttodietdrinkandgruel。
ThesegentlemenwereWhigs，andgreatadmirersofmyLordDukeofMarlborough;andEsmondwasentirelyoftheotherparty。Buttheirdifferentviewsofpoliticsdidnotpreventthegentlemenfromagreeinginprivate，norfromallowing，ononeeveningwhenEsmond\'skindoldpatron，Lieutenant—GeneralWebb，withastickandacrutch，hobbleduptotheColonel\'slodging（whichwasprettilysituateatKnightsbridge，betweenLondonandKensington，andlookingovertheGardens），thattheLieutenant—Generalwasanobleandgallantsoldier——andeventhathehadbeenhardlyusedintheWynendaelaffair。Hetookhisrevengeintalk，thatmustbeconfessed;andifMr。AddisonhadhadamindtowriteapoemaboutWynendael，hemighthaveheardfromthecommander\'sownlipsthestoryahundredtimesover。
Mr。Esmond，forcedtobequiet，betookhimselftoliteratureforarelaxation，andcomposedhiscomedy，whereoftheprompter\'scopyliethinmywalnutescritoire，sealedupanddocketed，\"TheFaithfulFool，aComedy，asitwasperformedbyherMajesty\'sServants。\"\'Twasaverysentimentalpiece;andMr。Steele，whohadmoreofthatkindofsentimentthanMr。Addison，admiredit，whilsttheotherrathersneeredattheperformance;thoughheownedthat，hereandthere，itcontainedsomeprettystrokes。Hewasbringingouthisownplayof\"Cato\"atthetime，theblazeofwhichquiteextinguishedEsmond\'sfarthingcandle;andhisnamewasneverputtothepiece，whichwasprintedasbyaPersonofQuality。Onlyninecopiesweresold，thoughMr。Dennis，thegreatcritic，praisedit，andsaid\'twasaworkofgreatmerit;andColonelEsmondhadthewholeimpressionburnedonedayinarage，byJackLockwood，hisman。
Allthiscomedywasfullofbittersatiricstrokesagainstacertainyounglady。Theplotofthepiecewasquiteanewone。A
youngwomanwasrepresentedwithagreatnumberofsuitors，selectingapertfribbleofapeer，inplaceofthehero（butill—
acted，Ithink，byMr。Wilks，theFaithfulFool，）whopersistedinadmiringher。Inthefifthact，TeramintawasmadetodiscoverthemeritsofEugenio（theF。F。），andtofeelapartialityforhimtoolate;forheannouncedthathehadbestowedhishandandestateuponRosaria，acountrylass，endowedwitheveryvirtue。Butitmustbeownedthattheaudienceyawnedthroughtheplay;andthatitperishedonthethirdnight，withonlyhalfadozenpersonstobeholditsagonies。Esmondandhistwomistressescametothefirstnight，andMissBeatrixfellasleep;whilsthermother，whohadnotbeentoaplaysinceKingJamestheSecond\'stime，thoughtthepiece，thoughnotbrilliant，hadaveryprettymoral。
Mr。Esmonddabbledinletters，andwroteadealofproseandverseatthistimeofleisure。WhendispleasedwiththeconductofMissBeatrix，hewouldcomposeasatire，inwhichherelievedhismind。
Whensmartingunderthefaithlessnessofwomen，hedashedoffacopyofverses，inwhichheheldthewholesexuptoscorn。Oneday，inoneofthesemoods，hemadealittlejoke，inwhich（swearinghimtosecrecy）hegothisfriendDickSteeletohelphim;and，composingapaper，hehaditprintedexactlylikeSteele\'spaper，andbyhisprinter，andlaidonhismistress\'sbreakfast—tablethefollowing——
\"SPECTATOR。
\"No。341。\"Tuesday，April1，1712。
MutatonominedeteFabulanarratur。——HORACE。
Thyselfthemorainofthefablesee。——CREECH。
\"Jocastaisknownasawomanoflearningandfashion，andasoneofthemostamiablepersonsofthiscourtandcountry。Sheisathometwomorningsoftheweek，andallthewitsandafewofthebeautiesofLondonflocktoherassemblies。WhenshegoesabroadtoTunbridgeortheBath，aretinueofadorersridesthejourneywithher;andbesidestheLondonbeaux，shehasacrowdofadmirersattheWells，thepoliteamongstthenativesofSussexandSomersetpressingroundhertea—tables，andbeinganxiousforanodfromherchair。Jocasta\'sacquaintanceisthusverynumerous。Indeed，\'tisonesmartwriter\'sworktokeephervisiting—book——astrongfootmanisengagedtocarryit;anditwouldrequireamuchstrongerheadeventhanJocasta\'sowntorememberthenamesofallherdearfriends。
\"EitheratEpsomWellsoratTunbridge（forofthisimportantmatterJocastacannotbecertain）itwasherladyship\'sfortunetobecomeacquaintedwithayounggentleman，whoseconversationwassosprightly，andmannersamiable，thatsheinvitedtheagreeableyoungsparktovisitherifeverhecametoLondon，whereherhouseinSpringGardenshouldbeopentohim。Charmingashewas，andwithoutanymannerofdoubtaprettyfellow，Jocastahathsucharegimentofthelikecontinuallymarchingroundherstandard，that\'tisnowonderherattentionisdistractedamongstthem。Andso，thoughthisgentlemanmadeaconsiderableimpressionuponher，andtouchedherheartforatleastthree—and—twentyminutes，itmustbeownedthatshehasforgottenhisname。Heisadarkman，andmaybeeight—and—twentyyearsold。Hisdressissober，thoughofrichmaterials。Hehasamoleonhisforeheadoverhislefteye;hasablueribbontohiscaneandsword，andwearshisownhair。
\"Jocastawasmuchflatteredbybeholdingheradmirer（forthateverybodyadmireswhoseesherisapointwhichshenevercanforamomentdoubt）inthenextpewtoheratSt。James\'sChurchlastSunday;andthemannerinwhichheappearedtogotosleepduringthesermon——thoughfromunderhisfringedeyelidsitwasevidenthewascastingglancesofrespectfulrapturetowardsJocasta——deeplymovedandinterestedher。Oncomingoutofchurch，hefoundhiswaytoherchair，andmadeheranelegantbowasshesteppedintoit。ShesawhimatCourtafterwards，wherehecarriedhimselfwithamostdistinguishedair，thoughnoneofheracquaintancesknewhisname;andthenextnighthewasattheplay，whereherladyshipwaspleasedtoacknowledgehimfromtheside—box。
\"Duringthewholeofthecomedysherackedherbrainssotorememberhisnamethatshedidnothearawordofthepiece:andhavingthehappinesstomeethimoncemoreinthelobbyoftheplayhouse，shewentuptohiminaflutter，andbadehimrememberthatshekepttwonightsintheweek，andthatshelongedtoseehimatSpringGarden。
\"HeappearedonTuesday，inarichsuit，showingaveryfinetastebothinthetailorandwearer;andthoughaknotofusweregatheredroundthecharmingJocasta，fellowswhopretendedtoknoweveryfaceuponthetown，notonecouldtellthegentleman\'snameinreplytoJocasta\'seagerinquiries，flungtotherightandleftofherasheadvanceduptheroomwithabowthatwouldbecomeaduke。
\"Jocastaacknowledgedthissalutewithoneofthosesmilesandcurtsiesofwhichthatladyhaththesecret。Shecurtsieswithalanguishingair，asiftosay，\'Youarecomeatlast。Ihavebeenpiningforyou:\'andthenshefinisheshervictimwithakillinglook，whichdeclares:\'OPhilander！Ihavenoeyesbutforyou。\'
Camillahathasgoodacurtsyperhaps，andThalestrismuchsuchanotherlook;buttheglanceandthecurtsytogetherbelongtoJocastaofalltheEnglishbeautiesalone。
\"\'WelcometoLondon，sir，\'saysshe。\'Onecanseeyouarefromthecountrybyyourlooks。\'Shewouldhavesaid\'Epsom，\'or\'Tunbridge，\'hadsherememberedrightlyatwhichplaceshehadmetthestranger;but，alas！shehadforgotten。
\"Thegentlemansaid，\'hehadbeenintownbutthreedays;andoneofhisreasonsforcominghitherwastohavethehonorofpayinghiscourttoJocasta。\'
\"Shesaid，\'thewatershadagreedwithherbutindifferently。\'
\"\'Thewaterswereforthesick，\'thegentlemansaid:\'theyoungandbeautifulcamebuttomakethemsparkle。AndastheclergymanreadtheserviceonSunday，\'headded，\'yourladyshipremindedmeoftheangelthatvisitedthepool。\'Amurmurofapprobationsalutedthissally。Manilio，whoisawitwhenheisnotatcards，wasinsucharagethatherevokedwhenheheardit。
\"Jocastawasanangelvisitingthewaters;butatwhichoftheBethesdas？Shewaspuzzledmoreandmore;and，asherwayalwaysis，lookedthemoreinnocentandsimple，themoreartfulherintentionswere。
\"\'Wewerediscoursing，\'saysshe，\'aboutspellingofnamesandwordswhenyoucame。Whyshouldwesaygooldandwritegold，andcallchinachayney，andCavendishCandish，andCholmondeleyChumley？IfwecallPulteneyPoltney，whyshouldn\'twecallpoultrypultry——and——\'
\"\'Suchanenchantressasyourladyship，\'sayshe，\'ismistressofallsortsofspells。\'ButthiswasDr。Swift\'spun，andweallknewit。
\"\'And——andhowdoyouspellyourname？\'saysshe，comingtothepointatlength;forthissprightlyconversationhadlastedmuchlongerthanisheresetdown，andbeencarriedonthroughatleastthreedishesoftea。
\"\'Oh，madam，\'sayshe，\'ISPELLMYNAMEWITHTHEY。\'Andlayingdownhisdish，mygentlemanmadeanotherelegantbow，andwasgoneinamoment。
\"Jocastahathhadnosleepsincethismortification，andthestranger\'sdisappearance。Ifbalkedinanything，sheissuretoloseherhealthandtemper;andwe，herservants，suffer，asusual，duringtheangryfitsofourQueen。Canyouhelpus，Mr。
Spectator，whoknoweverything，toreadthisriddleforher，andsetatrestallourminds？Wefindinherlist，Mr。Berty，Mr。
Smith，Mr。Pike，Mr。Tyler——whomaybeMr。Bertie，Mr。Smyth，Mr。
Pyke，Mr。Tiler，forwhatweknow。Shehathturnedawaytheclerkofhervisiting—book，apoorfellowwithagreatfamilyofchildren。Readmethisriddle，goodMr。Shortface，andobligeyouradmirer——OEDIPUS。\"
\"THETRUMPETCOFFEE—HOUSE，WHITEHALL。
MR。SPECTATOR，——Iamagentlemanbutlittleacquaintedwiththetown，thoughIhavehadauniversityeducation，andpassedsomeyearsservingmycountryabroad，wheremynameisbetterknownthaninthecoffee—houseandSt。James\'s。
\"Twoyearssincemyuncledied，leavingmeaprettyestateinthecountyofKent;andbeingatTunbridgeWellslastsummer，aftermymourningwasover，andonthelook—out，iftruthmustbetold，forsomeyoungladywhowouldsharewithmethesolitudeofmygreatKentishhouse，andbekindtomytenantry（forwhomawomancandoagreatdealmoregoodthanthebest—intentionedmancan），IwasgreatlyfascinatedbyayoungladyofLondon，whowasthetoastofallthecompanyattheWells。EveryoneknowsSaccharissa\'sbeauty;andIthink，Mr。Spectator，noonebetterthanherself。
\"Mytable—bookinformsmethatIdancednolessthanseven—and—
twentysetswithherattheAssembly。Itreatedhertothefiddlestwice。Iwasadmittedonseveraldaystoherlodging，andreceivedbyherwithagreatdealofdistinction，and，foratime，wasentirelyherslave。ItwasonlywhenIfound，fromcommontalkofthecompanyattheWells，andfromnarrowlywatchingone，whoI
oncethoughtofaskingthemostsacredquestionamancanputtoawoman，thatIbecameawarehowunfitshewastobeacountrygentleman\'swife;andthatthisfaircreaturewasbutaheartlessworldlyjilt，playingwithaffectionsthatshenevermeanttoreturn，and，indeed，incapableofreturningthem。\'Tisadmirationsuchwomenwant，notlovethattouchesthem;andIcanconceive，inheroldage，nomorewretchedcreaturethanthisladywillbe，whenherbeautyhathdesertedher，whenheradmirershavelefther，andshehathneitherfriendshipnorreligiontoconsoleher。
\"BusinesscallingmetoLondon，IwenttoSt。James\'sChurchlastSunday，andthereoppositemesatmybeautyoftheWells。Herbehaviorduringthewholeservicewassopert，languishing，andabsurd;sheflirtedherfan，andogledandeyedmeinamannersoindecent，thatIwasobligedtoshutmyeyes，soasactuallynottoseeher，andwheneverIopenedthembeheldhers（andverybrighttheyare）stillstaringatme。IfellinwithherafterwardsatCourt，andattheplayhouse;andherenothingwouldsatisfyherbutshemustelbowthroughthecrowdandspeaktome，andinvitemetotheassembly，whichsheholdsatherhouse，notveryfarfromCh—r—ngCr—ss。
\"Havingmadeherapromisetoattend，ofcourseIkeptmypromise;
andfoundtheyoungwidowinthemidstofahalf—dozenofcardtables，andacrowdofwitsandadmirers。ImadethebestbowI
could，andadvancedtowardsher;andsawbyapeculiarpuzzledlookinherface，thoughshetriedtohideherperplexity，thatshehadforgottenevenmyname。
\"Hertalk，artfulasitwas，convincedmethatIhadguessedaright。Sheturnedtheconversationmostridiculouslyuponthespellingofnamesandwords;andIrepliedwithasridiculousfulsomecomplimentsasIcouldpayher:indeed，oneinwhichI
comparedhertoanangelvisitingthesickwells，wentalittletoofar;norshouldIhaveemployedit，butthattheallusioncamefromtheSecondLessonlastSunday，whichwebothhadheard，andIwaspressedtoanswerher。
\"Thenshecametothequestion，whichIknewwasawaitingme，andaskedhowISPELTmyname？\'Madam，\'saysI，turningonmyheel，\'I
spellitwithaY。\'AndsoIlefther，wonderingatthelight—
heartednessofthetown—people，whoforgetandmakefriendssoeasily，andresolvedtolookelsewhereforapartnerforyourconstantreader，\"CYMONWYLDOATS。\"
\"Youknowmyrealname，Mr。Spectator，inwhichthereisnosuchaletterasHUPSILON。Butifthelady，whomIhavecalledSaccharissa，wondersthatIappearnomoreatthetea—tables，sheisherebyrespectfullyinformedthereasonY。\"
Theaboveisaparable，whereofthewriterwillnowexpoundthemeaning。JocastawasnootherthanMissEsmond，MaidofHonortoherMajesty。ShehadtoldMr。Esmondthislittlestoryofhavingmetagentlemansomewhere，andforgettinghisname，whenthegentleman，withnosuchmaliciousintentionsasthoseof\"Cymon\"intheabovefable，madetheanswersimplyasabove;andwealllaughedtothinkhowlittleMistressJocasta—Beatrixhadprofitedbyherartificeandprecautions。
AsforCymon，hewasintendedtorepresentyoursandherveryhumbleservant，thewriteroftheapologueandofthisstory，whichwehadprintedona\"Spectator\"paperatMr。Steele\'soffice，exactlyasthosefamousjournalswereprinted，andwhichwaslaidonthetableatbreakfastinplaceoftherealnewspaper。MistressJocasta，whohadplentyofwit，couldnotlivewithoutherSpectatortohertea;andthisshamSpectatorwasintendedtoconveytotheyoungwomanthatsheherselfwasaflirt，andthatCymonwasagentlemanofhonorandresolution，seeingallherfaults，anddeterminedtobreakthechainsonceandforever。
Forthoughenoughhathbeensaidaboutthislove—businessalready——
enough，atleast，toprovetothewriter\'sheirswhatasillyfondfooltheiroldgrandfatherwas，whowouldlikethemtoconsiderhimasaverywiseoldgentleman;yetnotnearallhasbeentoldconcerningthismatter，which，ifitwereallowedtotakeinEsmond\'sjournalthespaceitoccupiedinhistime，wouldwearyhiskinsmenandwomenofahundredyears\'timebeyondallendurance;
andformsuchadiaryoffollyanddrivelling，rapturesandrage，asnomanofordinaryvanitywouldliketoleavebehindhim。
Thetruthis，that，whethershelaughedathimorencouragedhim;
whethershesmiledorwascold，andturnedhersmilesonanother;
worldlyandambitious，asheknewhertobe;hardandcareless，assheseemedtogrowwithhercourtlife，andahundredadmirersthatcametoherandlefther;Esmond，dowhathewould，nevercouldgetBeatrixoutofhismind;thoughtofherconstantlyathomeoraway。
IfhereadhisnameinaGazette，orescapedtheshotofacannon—
balloragreaterdangerinthecampaign，ashashappenedtohimmorethanonce，theinstantthoughtafterthehonorachievedorthedangeravoided，was，\"WhatwillSHEsayofit？\"\"Willthisdistinctionortheideaofthisperilelateherortouchher，soastobebetterinclinedtowardsme？\"Hecouldnomorehelpthispassionatefidelityoftemperthanhecouldhelptheeyeshesawwith——oneortheotherseemedapartofhisnature;andknowingeveryoneofherfaultsaswellasthekeenestofherdetractors，andthefollyofanattachmenttosuchawoman，ofwhichthefruitioncouldneverbringhimhappinessforaboveaweek，therewasyetacharmaboutthisCircefromwhichthepoordeludedgentlemancouldnotfreehimself;andforamuchlongerperiodthanUlysses（anothermiddle—agedofficer，whohadtravelledmuch，andbeenintheforeignwars，）Esmondfelthimselfenthralledandbesottedbythewilesofthisenchantress。Quither！Hecouldnomorequither，astheCymonofthisstorywasmadetoquithisfalseone，thanhecouldlosehisconsciousnessofyesterday。Shehadbuttoraiseherfinger，andhewouldcomebackfromeversofar;shehadbuttosayIhavediscardedsuchandsuchanadorer，andthepoorinfatuatedwretchwouldbesuretocomeandroderabouthermother\'shouse，willingtobeputontheranksofsuitors，thoughheknewhemightbecastoffthenextweek。IfhewerelikeUlyssesinhisfolly，atleastshewasinsofarlikePenelopethatshehadacrowdofsuitors，andundiddayafterdayandnightafternightthehandiworkoffascinationandthewebofcoquetrywithwhichshewaswonttoallureandentertainthem。
PartofhercoquetrymayhavecomefromherpositionabouttheCourt，wherethebeautifulmaidofhonorwasthelightaboutwhichathousandbeauxcameandfluttered;whereshewassuretohavearingofadmirersroundher，crowdingtolistentoherreparteesasmuchastoadmireherbeauty;andwhereshespokeandlistenedtomuchfreetalk，suchasoneneverwouldhavethoughtthelipsorearsofRachelCastlewood\'sdaughterwouldhaveutteredorheard。
WheninwaitingatWindsororHampton，theCourtladiesandgentlemenwouldbemakingridingpartiestogether;Mrs。Beatrixinahorseman\'scoatandhat，theforemostafterthestag—houndsandovertheparkfences，acrowdofyoungfellowsatherheels。IftheEnglishcountryladiesatthistimewerethemostpureandmodestofanyladiesintheworld——theEnglishtownandcourtladiespermittedthemselveswordsandbehaviorthatwereneithermodestnorpure;andclaimed，someofthem，afreedomwhichthosewholovethatsexmostwouldneverwishtograntthem。Thegentlemenofmyfamilythatfollowafterme（forIdon\'tencouragetheladiestopursueanysuchstudies），mayreadintheworksofMr。Congreve，andDr。Swiftandothers，whatwastheconversationandwhatthehabitsofourtime。
ThemostbeautifulwomaninEnglandin1712，whenEsmondreturnedtothiscountry，aladyofhighbirth，andthoughofnofortunetobesure，withathousandfascinationsofwitandmanners，BeatrixEsmondwasnowsix—and—twentyyearsold，andBeatrixEsmondstill。
Ofherhundredadorersshehadnotchosenoneforahusband;andthosewhohadaskedhadbeenjiltedbyher;andmorestillhadlefther。Asuccessionofneartenyears\'cropsofbeautieshadcomeupsincehertime，andhadbeenreapedbyproperHUSBANDmen，ifwemaymakeanagriculturalsimile，andhadbeenhousedcomfortablylongago。Herowncontemporariesweresobermothersbythistime;girlswithnotatitheofhercharms，orherwit，havingmadegoodmatches，andnowclaimingprecedenceoverthespinsterwhobutlatelyhadderidedandoutshonethem。TheyoungbeautieswerebeginningtolookdownonBeatrixasanoldmaid，andsneer，andcallheroneofCharlesII。\'sladies，andaskwhetherherportraitwasnotintheHamptonCourtGallery？Butstillshereigned，atleastinoneman\'sopinion，superioroverallthelittlemissesthatwerethetoastsoftheyounglads;andinEsmond\'seyeswaseverperfectlylovelyandyoung。
Whoknowshowmanywerenearlymadehappybypossessingher，or，rather，howmanywerefortunateinescapingthissiren？\'Tisamarveltothinkthathermotherwasthepurestandsimplestwomaninthewholeworld，andthatthisgirlshouldhavebeenbornfromher。Iaminclinedtofancy，mymistress，whoneversaidaharshwordtoherchildren（andbuttwiceorthriceonlytooneperson），musthavebeentoofondandpressingwiththematernalauthority;
forhersonandherdaughterbothrevoltedearly;noraftertheirfirstflightfromthenestcouldtheyeverbebroughtbackquitetothefondmother\'sbosom。LadyCastlewood，andperhapsitwasaswell，knewlittleofherdaughter\'slifeandrealthoughts。HowwasshetoapprehendwhatpassesinQueen\'sante—chambersandatCourttables？Mrs。Beatrixassertedherownauthoritysoresolutelythathermotherquicklygavein。Themaidofhonorhadherownequipage;wentfromhomeandcamebackatherownwill:hermotherwasalikepowerlesstoresistherortoleadher，ortocommandortopersuadeher。
Shehadbeenengagedonce，twice，thrice，tobemarried，Esmondbelieved。Whenhequittedhome，ithathbeensaid，shewaspromisedtomyLordAshburnham，andnow，onhisreturn，beholdhislordshipwasjustmarriedtoLadyMaryButler，theDukeofOrmonde\'sdaughter，andhisfinehouses，andtwelvethousandayearoffortune，forwhichMissBeatrixhadrathercovetedhim，wasoutofherpower。ToherEsmondcouldsaynothinginregardtothebreakingofthismatch;and，askinghismistressaboutit，allLadyCastlewoodansweredwas:\"donotspeaktomeaboutit，Harry。I
cannottellyouhoworwhytheyparted，andIfeartoinquire。I
havetoldyoubefore，thatwithallherkindness，andwit，andgenerosity，andthatsortofsplendorofnatureshehas，IcansaybutlittlegoodofpoorBeatrix，andlookwithdreadatthemarriageshewillform。Hermindisfixedonambitiononly，andmakingagreatfigure;and，thisachieved，shewilltireofitasshedoesofeverything。Heavenhelpherhusband，whoeverheshallbe！MyLordAshburnhamwasamostexcellentyoungman，gentleandyetmanly，ofverygoodparts，sotheytoldme，andasmylittleconversationwouldenablemetojudge:andakindtemper——kindandenduringI\'msurehemusthavebeen，fromallthathehadtoendure。Buthequittedheratlast，fromsomecrowningpieceofcapriceortyrannyofhers;andnowhehasmarriedayoungwomanthatwillmakehimathousandtimeshappierthanmypoorgirlevercould。\"
Therupture，whateveritscausewas，（Iheardthescandal，butindeedshallnottakepainstorepeatatlengthinthisdiarythetrumperycoffee—housestory，）causedagooddealoflowtalk;andMr。Esmondwaspresentatmylord\'sappearanceattheBirthdaywithhisbride，overwhomtherevengethatBeatrixtookwastolooksoimperialandlovelythatthemodestdowncastyoungladycouldnotappearbesideher，andLordAshburnham，whohadhisreasonsforwishingtoavoidher，slunkawayquiteshamefaced，andveryearly。
ThistimehisGracetheDukeofHamilton，whomEsmondhadseenaboutherbefore，wasconstantatMissBeatrix\'sside:hewasoneofthemostsplendidgentlemenofEurope，accomplishedbybooks，bytravel，bylongcommandofthebestcompany，distinguishedasastatesman，havingbeenambassadorinKingWilliamn\'stime，andanoblespeakerintheScots\'Parliament，wherehehadledthepartythatwasagainsttheUnion，andthoughnowfiveorsixandfortyyearsofage，agentlemansohighinstature，accomplishedinwit，andfavoredinperson，thathemightpretendtothehandofanyPrincessinEurope。
\"ShouldyouliketheDukeforacousin？\"saysMr。SecretarySt。
John，whisperingtoColonelEsmondinFrench;\"itappearsthatthewidowerconsoleshimself。\"
ButtoreturntoourlittleSpectatorpaperandtheconversationwhichgrewoutofit。MissBeatrixatfirstwasquiteBIT（asthephraseofthatdaywas）anddidnot\"smoke\"theauthorshipofthestory;indeedEsmondhadtriedtoimitateaswellashecouldMr。
Steele\'smanner（asfortheotherauthoroftheSpectator，hisprosestyleIthinkisaltogetherinimitable）;andDick，whowastheidlestandbest—naturedofmen，wouldhaveletthepiecepassintohisjournalandgotoposterityasoneofhisownlucubrations，butthatEsmonddidnotcaretohavealady\'snamewhomhelovedsentforthtotheworldinalightsounfavorable。
Beatrixpishedandpsha\'doverthepaper;ColonelEsmondwatchingwithnolittleinteresthercountenanceasshereadit。
\"HowstupidyourfriendMr。Steelebecomes！\"criesMissBeatrix。
\"EpsomandTunbridge！WillheneverhavedonewithEpsomandTunbridge，andwithbeauxatchurch，andJocastasandLindamiras？
WhydoeshenotcallwomenNellyandBetty，astheirgodfathersandgodmothersdidforthemintheirbaptism？\"
\"Beatrix。Beatrix！\"sayshermother，\"speakgravelyofgravethings。\"
\"MammathinkstheChurchCatechismcamefromheaven，Ibelieve，\"
saysBeatrix，withalaugh，\"andwasbroughtdownbyabishopfromamountain。Oh，howIusedtobreakmyheartoverit！Besides，I
hadaPopishgodmother，mamma;whydidyougivemeone？\"
\"IgaveyoutheQueen\'sname，\"sayshermotherblushing。\"Andaveryprettynameitis，\"saidsomebodyelse。
Beatrixwentonreading——\"SpellmynamewithaY——why，youwretch，\"
saysshe，turningroundtoColonelEsmond，\"youhavebeentellingmystorytoMr。Steele——orstop——youhavewrittenthepaperyourselftoturnmeintoridicule。Forshame，sir！\"
