第6章

类别:其他 作者:Daniel Defoe字数:11201更新时间:18/12/18 08:51:30
Theysatgenerallyinaroomnextthestreet,andastheyalwayskeptlatehours,sowhenthedead—cartcameacrossthestreet—endtogointoHoundsditch,whichwasinviewofthetavernwindows,theywouldfrequentlyopenthewindowsassoonastheyheardthebellandlookoutatthem;andastheymightoftenhearsadlamentationsofpeopleinthestreetsorattheirwindowsasthecartswentalong,theywouldmaketheirimpudentmocksandjeersatthem,especiallyiftheyheardthepoorpeoplecalluponGodtohavemercyuponthem,asmanywoulddoatthosetimesintheirordinarypassingalongthestreets。 Thesegentlemen,beingsomethingdisturbedwiththeclutterofbringingthepoorgentlemanintothehouse,asabove,werefirstangryandveryhighwiththemasterofthehouseforsufferingsuchafellow,astheycalledhim,tobebroughtoutofthegraveintotheirhouse;butbeingansweredthatthemanwasaneighbour,andthathewassound,butoverwhelmedwiththecalamityofhisfamily,andthelike,theyturnedtheirangerintoridiculingthemanandhissorrowforhiswifeandchildren,tauntedhimwithwantofcouragetoleapintothegreatpitandgotoheaven,astheyjeeringlyexpressedit,alongwiththem,addingsomeveryprofaneandevenblasphemousexpressions。 TheywereatthisvileworkwhenIcamebacktothehouse,and,asfarasIcouldsee,thoughthemansatstill,muteanddisconsolate,andtheiraffrontscouldnotdiverthissorrow,yethewasbothgrievedandoffendedattheirdiscourse。UponthisIgentlyreprovedthem,beingwellenoughacquaintedwiththeircharacters,andnotunknowninpersontotwoofthem。 Theyimmediatelyfelluponmewithilllanguageandoaths,askedmewhatIdidoutofmygraveatsuchatimewhensomanyhonestermenwerecarriedintothechurchyard,andwhyIwasnotathomesayingmyprayersagainstthedead—cartcameforme,andthelike。 Iwasindeedastonishedattheimpudenceofthemen,thoughnotatalldiscomposedattheirtreatmentofme。However,Ikeptmytemper。 ItoldthemthatthoughIdefiedthemoranymanintheworldtotaxmewithanydishonesty,yetIacknowledgedthatinthisterriblejudgementofGodmanybetterthanIweresweptawayandcarriedtotheirgrave。Buttoanswertheirquestiondirectly,thecasewas,thatI wasmercifullypreservedbythatgreatGodwhosenametheyhadblasphemedandtakeninvainbycursingandswearinginadreadfulmanner,andthatIbelievedIwaspreservedinparticular,amongotherendsofHisgoodness,thatImightreprovethemfortheiraudaciousboldnessinbehavinginsuchamannerandinsuchanawfultimeasthiswas,especiallyfortheirjeeringandmockingatanhonestgentlemanandaneighbour(forsomeofthemknewhim),who,theysaw,wasoverwhelmedwithsorrowforthebreacheswhichithadpleasedGodtomakeuponhisfamily。 Icannotcallexactlytomindthehellish,abominableraillerywhichwasthereturntheymadetothattalkofmine:beingprovoked,itseems,thatIwasnotatallafraidtobefreewiththem;nor,ifIcouldremember,wouldIfillmyaccountwithanyofthewords,thehorridoaths,curses,andvileexpressions,suchas,atthattimeoftheday,eventheworstandordinariestpeopleinthestreetwouldnotuse;for,exceptsuchhardenedcreaturesasthese,themostwickedwretchesthatcouldbefoundhadatthattimesometerrorupontheirmindsofthehandofthatPowerwhichcouldthusinamomentdestroythem。 Butthatwhichwastheworstinalltheirdevilishlanguagewas,thattheywerenotafraidtoblasphemeGodandtalkatheistically,makingajestofmycallingtheplaguethehandofGod;mocking,andevenlaughing,atthewordjudgement,asiftheprovidenceofGodhadnoconcernintheinflictingsuchadesolatingstroke;andthatthepeoplecallinguponGodastheysawthecartscarryingawaythedeadbodieswasallenthusiastic,absurd,andimpertinent。 Imadethemsomereply,suchasIthoughtproper,butwhichIfoundwassofarfromputtingachecktotheirhorridwayofspeakingthatitmadethemrailthemore,sothatIconfessitfilledmewithhorrorandakindofrage,andIcameaway,asItoldthem,lestthehandofthatjudgementwhichhadvisitedthewholecityshouldglorifyHisvengeanceuponthem,andallthatwerenearthem。 Theyreceivedallreproofwiththeutmostcontempt,andmadethegreatestmockerythatwaspossibleforthemtodoatme,givingmealltheopprobrious,insolentscoffsthattheycouldthinkofforpreachingtothem,astheycalledit,whichindeedgrievedme,ratherthanangeredme; andIwentaway,blessingGod,however,inmymindthatIhadnotsparedthem,thoughtheyhadinsultedmesomuch。 Theycontinuedthiswretchedcoursethreeorfourdaysafterthis,continuallymockingandjeeringatallthatshowedthemselvesreligiousorserious,orthatwereanywaytouchedwiththesenseoftheterriblejudgementofGoduponus;andIwasinformedtheyfloutedinthesamemanneratthegoodpeoplewho,notwithstandingthecontagion,metatthechurch,fasted,andprayedtoGodtoremoveHishandfromthem。 Isay,theycontinuedthisdreadfulcoursethreeorfourdays—Ithinkitwasnomore—whenoneofthem,particularlyhewhoaskedthepoorgentlemanwhathedidoutofhisgrave,wasstruckfromHeavenwiththeplague,anddiedinamostdeplorablemanner;and,inaword,theywereeveryoneofthemcarriedintothegreatpitwhichI havementionedabove,beforeitwasquitefilledup,whichwasnotaboveafortnightorthereabout。 Thesemenwereguiltyofmanyextravagances,suchasonewouldthinkhumannatureshouldhavetrembledatthethoughtsofatsuchatimeofgeneralterroraswasthenuponus,andparticularlyscoffingandmockingateverythingwhichtheyhappenedtoseethatwasreligiousamongthepeople,especiallyattheirthrongingzealouslytotheplaceofpublicworshiptoimploremercyfromHeaveninsuchatimeofdistress;andthistavernwheretheyheldtheirdubbeingwithinviewofthechurch—door,theyhadthemoreparticularoccasionfortheiratheisticalprofanemirth。 ButthisbegantoabatealittlewiththembeforetheaccidentwhichI haverelatedhappened,fortheinfectionincreasedsoviolentlyatthispartofthetownnow,thatpeoplebegantobeafraidtocometothechurch;atleastsuchnumbersdidnotresortthitheraswasusual。 Manyoftheclergymenlikewiseweredead,andothersgoneintothecountry;foritreallyrequiredasteadycourageandastrongfaithforamannotonlytoventurebeingintownatsuchatimeasthis,butlikewisetoventuretocometochurchandperformtheofficeofaministertoacongregation,ofwhomhehadreasontobelievemanyofthemwereactuallyinfectedwiththeplague,andtodothiseveryday,ortwiceaday,asinsomeplaceswasdone。 Itistruethepeopleshowedanextraordinaryzealinthesereligiousexercises,andasthechurch—doorswerealwaysopen,peoplewouldgoinsingleatalltimes,whethertheministerwasofficiatingorno,andlockingthemselvesintoseparatepews,wouldbeprayingtoGodwithgreatfervencyanddevotion。 Othersassembledatmeeting—houses,everyoneastheirdifferentopinionsinsuchthingsguided,butallwerepromiscuouslythesubjectofthesemen\'sdrollery,especiallyatthebeginningofthevisitation。 Itseemstheyhadbeencheckedfortheiropeninsultingreligioninthismannerbyseveralgoodpeopleofeverypersuasion,andthat,andtheviolentragingoftheinfection,Isuppose,wastheoccasionthattheyhadabatedmuchoftheirrudenessforsometimebefore,andwereonlyrousedbythespiritofribaldryandatheismattheclamourwhichwasmadewhenthegentlemanwasfirstbroughtinthere,andperhapswereagitatedbythesamedevil,whenItookuponmetoreprovethem;thoughIdiditatfirstwithallthecalmness,temper,andgoodmannersthatIcould,whichforawhiletheyinsultedmethemoreforthinkingithadbeeninfearoftheirresentment,thoughafterwardstheyfoundthecontrary。 Iwenthome,indeed,grievedandafflictedinmymindattheabominablewickednessofthosemen,notdoubting,however,thattheywouldbemadedreadfulexamplesofGod\'sjustice;forIlookeduponthisdismaltimetobeaparticularseasonofDivinevengeance,andthatGodwouldonthisoccasionsingleouttheproperobjectsofHisdispleasureinamoreespecialandremarkablemannerthanatanothertime;andthatthoughIdidbelievethatmanygoodpeoplewould,anddid,fallinthecommoncalamity,andthatitwasnocertainruleto\'judgeoftheeternalstateofanyonebytheirbeingdistinguishedinsuchatimeofgeneraldestructionneitheronewayorother;yet,Isay,itcouldnotbutseemreasonabletobelievethatGodwouldnotthinkfittosparebyHismercysuchopendeclaredenemies,thatshouldinsultHisnameandBeing,defyHisvengeance,andmockatHisworshipandworshippersatsuchatime;no,notthoughHismercyhadthoughtfittobearwithandsparethematothertimes;thatthiswasadayofvisitation,adayofGod\'sanger,andthosewordscameintomythought,Jer。v。9:\'ShallInotvisitforthesethings?saiththeLord:andshallnotMysoulbeavengedofsuchanationasthis?\' Thesethings,Isay,layuponmymind,andIwenthomeverymuchgrievedandoppressedwiththehorrorofthesemen\'swickedness,andtothinkthatanythingcouldbesovile,sohardened,andnotoriouslywickedastoinsultGod,andHisservants,andHisworshipinsuchamanner,andatsuchatimeasthiswas,whenHehad,asitwere,HissworddrawninHishandonpurposetotakevengeancenotonthemonly,butonthewholenation。 Ihad,indeed,beeninsomepassionatfirstwiththem—thoughitwasreallyraised,notbyanyaffronttheyhadofferedmepersonally,butbythehorrortheirblasphemingtonguesfilledmewith。However,IwasdoubtfulinmythoughtswhethertheresentmentIretainedwasnotalluponmyownprivateaccount,fortheyhadgivenmeagreatdealofilllanguagetoo—Imeanpersonally;butaftersomepause,andhavingaweightofgriefuponmymind,IretiredmyselfassoonasI camehome,forIsleptnotthatnight;andgivingGodmosthumblethanksformypreservationintheeminentdangerIhadbeenin,Isetmymindseriouslyandwiththeutmostearnestnesstoprayforthosedesperatewretches,thatGodwouldpardonthem,opentheireyes,andeffectuallyhumblethem。 BythisInotonlydidmyduty,namely,toprayforthosewhodespitefullyusedme,butIfullytriedmyownheart,tomyfunsatisfaction,thatitwasnotfilledwithanyspiritofresentmentastheyhadoffendedmeinparticular;andIhumblyrecommendthemethodtoallthosethatwouldknow,orbecertain,howtodistinguishbetweentheirzealforthehonourofGodandtheeffectsoftheirprivatepassionsandresentment。 ButImustgobackheretotheparticularincidentswhichoccurtomythoughtsofthetimeofthevisitation,andparticularlytothetimeoftheirshuttinguphousesinthefirstpartoftheirsickness;forbeforethesicknesswascometoitsheightpeoplehadmoreroomtomaketheirobservationsthantheyhadafterward;butwhenitwasintheextremitytherewasnosuchthingascommunicationwithoneanother,asbefore。 Duringtheshuttingupofhouses,asIhavesaid,someviolencewasofferedtothewatchmen。Astosoldiers,therewerenonetobefound。—thefewguardswhichthekingthenhad,whichwerenothinglikethenumberentertainedsince,weredispersed,eitheratOxfordwiththeCourt,orinquartersintheremoterpartsofthecountry,smalldetachmentsexcepted,whodiddutyattheTowerandatWhitehall,andthesebutveryfew。NeitheramIpositivethattherewasanyotherguardattheTowerthanthewarders,astheycalledthem,whostandatthegatewithgownsandcaps,thesameastheyeomenoftheguard,excepttheordinarygunners,whoweretwenty—four,andtheofficersappointedtolookafterthemagazine,whowerecalledarmourers。Astotrainedbands,therewasnopossibilityofraisingany;neither,iftheLieutenancy,eitherofLondonorMiddlesex,hadorderedthedrumstobeatforthemilitia,wouldanyofthecompanies,Ibelieve,havedrawntogether,whateverrisktheyhadrun。 Thismadethewatchmenbethelessregarded,andperhapsoccasionedthegreaterviolencetobeusedagainstthem。Imentionitonthisscoretoobservethatthesettingwatchmenthustokeepthepeopleinwas,firstofall,noteffectual,butthatthepeoplebrokeout,whetherbyforceorbystratagem,evenalmostasoftenastheypleased;and,second,thatthosethatdidthusbreakoutweregenerallypeopleinfectedwho,intheirdesperation,runningaboutfromoneplacetoanother,valuednotwhomtheyinjured:andwhichperhaps,asIhavesaid,mightgivebirthtoreportthatitwasnaturaltotheinfectedpeopletodesiretoinfectothers,whichreportwasreallyfalse。 AndIknowitsowell,andinsomanyseveralcases,thatIcouldgiveseveralrelationsofgood,pious,andreligiouspeoplewho,whentheyhavehadthedistemper,havebeensofarfrombeingforwardtoinfectothersthattheyhaveforbidtheirownfamilytocomenearthem,inhopesoftheirbeingpreserved,andhaveevendiedwithoutseeingtheirnearestrelationslesttheyshouldbeinstrumentaltogivethemthedistemper,andinfectorendangerthem。If,then,therewerecaseswhereintheinfectedpeoplewerecarelessoftheinjurytheydidtoothers,thiswascertainlyoneofthem,ifnotthechief,namely,whenpeoplewhohadthedistemperhadbrokenoutfromhouseswhichweresoshutup,andhavingbeendriventoextremitiesforprovisionorforentertainment,hadendeavouredtoconcealtheircondition,andhavebeentherebyinstrumentalinvoluntarilytoinfectotherswhohavebeenignorantandunwary。 ThisisoneofthereasonswhyIbelievedthen,anddobelievestill,thattheshuttinguphousesthusbyforce,andrestraining,orratherimprisoning,peopleintheirownhouses,asIsaidabove,wasoflittleornoserviceinthewhole。Nay,Iamofopinionitwasratherhurtful,havingforcedthosedesperatepeopletowanderabroadwiththeplagueuponthem,whowouldotherwisehavediedquietlyintheirbeds。 Irememberonecitizenwho,havingthusbrokenoutofhishouseinAldersgateStreetorthereabout,wentalongtheroadtoIslington;heattemptedtohavegoneinattheAngelInn,andafterthattheWhiteHorse,twoinnsknownstillbythesamesigns,butwasrefused;afterwhichhecametothePiedBull,aninnalsostillcontinuingthesamesign。Heaskedthemforlodgingforonenightonly,pretendingtobegoingintoLincolnshire,andassuringthemofhisbeingverysoundandfreefromtheinfection,whichalsoatthattimehadnotreachedmuchthatway。 Theytoldhimtheyhadnolodgingthattheycouldsparebutonebedupinthegarret,andthattheycouldsparethatbedforonenight,somedroversbeingexpectedthenextdaywithcattle;so,ifhewouldacceptofthatlodging,hemighthaveit,whichhedid。Soaservantwassentupwithacandlewithhimtoshowhimtheroom。Hewasverywelldressed,andlookedlikeapersonnotusedtolieinagarret;andwhenhecametotheroomhefetchedadeepsigh,andsaidtotheservant,\'I haveseldomlaininsuchalodgingasthis。\'However,theservantassuringhimagainthattheyhadnobetter,\'Well,\'sayshe,\'Imustmakeshift;thisisadreadfultime;butitisbutforonenight。\'Sohesatdownuponthebedside,andbadethemaid,Ithinkitwas,fetchhimupapintofwarmale。Accordinglytheservantwentfortheale,butsomehurryinthehouse,whichperhapsemployedherotherways,putitoutofherhead,andshewentupnomoretohim。 Thenextmorning,seeingnoappearanceofthegentleman,somebodyinthehouseaskedtheservantthathadshowedhimupstairswhatwasbecomeofhim。Shestarted。\'Alasl\'saysshe,\'Ineverthoughtmoreofhim。Hebademecarryhimsomewarmale,butI forgot。\'Uponwhich,notthemaid,butsomeotherpersonwassentuptoseeafterhim,who,comingintotheroom,foundhimstarkdeadandalmostcold,stretchedoutacrossthebed。Hisclotheswerepulledoff,hisjawfallen,hiseyesopeninamostfrightfulposture,therugofthebedbeinggraspedhardinoneofhishands,sothatitwasplainhediedsoonafterthemaidlefthim;and\'tisprobable,hadshegoneupwiththeale,shehadfoundhimdeadinafewminutesafterhesatdownuponthebed。Thealarmwasgreatinthehouse,asanyonemaysuppose,theyhavingbeenfreefromthedistempertillthatdisaster,which,bringingtheinfectiontothehouse,spreaditimmediatelytootherhousesroundaboutit。Idonotrememberhowmanydiedinthehouseitself,butIthinkthemaid—servantwhowentupfirstwithhimfellpresentlyillbythefright,andseveralothers;for,whereastherediedbuttwoinIslingtonoftheplaguetheweekbefore,therediedseventeentheweekafter,whereoffourteenwereoftheplague。Thiswasintheweekfromthe11thofJulytothe18th。 Therewasoneshiftthatsomefamilieshad,andthatnotafew,whentheirhouseshappenedtobeinfected,andthatwasthis:thefamilieswho,inthefirstbreaking—outofthedistemper,fledawayintothecountryandhadretreatsamongtheirfriends,generallyfoundsomeorotheroftheirneighboursorrelationstocommitthechargeofthosehousestoforthesafetyofthegoodsandthelike。Somehouseswere,indeed,entirelylockedup,thedoorspadlocked,thewindowsanddoorshavingdealboardsnailedoverthem,andonlytheinspectionofthemcommittedtotheordinarywatchmenandparishofficers;batthesewerebutfew。 Itwasthoughtthattherewerenotlessthan10,000housesforsakenoftheinhabitantsinthecityandsuburbs,includingwhatwasintheout—parishesandinSurrey,orthesideofthewatertheycalledSouthwark。Thiswasbesidesthenumbersoflodgers,andofparticularpersonswhowerefledoutofotherfamilies;sothatinallitwascomputedthatabout200,000peoplewerefledandgone。ButofthisIshallspeakagain。ButImentionithereonthisaccount,namely,thatitwasarulewiththosewhohadthustwohousesintheirkeepingorcare,thatifanybodywastakensickinafamily,beforethemasterofthefamilylettheexaminersoranyotherofficerknowofit,heimmediatelywouldsendalltherestofhisfamily,whetherchildrenorservants,asitfellouttobe,tosuchotherhousewhichhehadsoincharge,andthengivingnoticeofthesickpersontotheexaminer,haveanurseornursesappointed,andhaveanotherpersontobeshutupinthehousewiththem(whichmanyformoneywoulddo),sototakechargeofthehouseincasethepersonshoulddie。 Thiswas,inmanycases,thesavingawholefamily,who,iftheyhadbeenshutupwiththesickperson,wouldinevitablyhaveperished。 But,ontheotherhand,thiswasanotheroftheinconveniencesofshuttinguphouses;fortheapprehensionsandterrorofbeingshutupmademanyrunawaywiththerestofthefamily,who,thoughitwasnotpubliclyknown,andtheywerenotquitesick,hadyetthedistemperuponthem;andwho,byhavinganuninterruptedlibertytogoabout,butbeingobligedstilltoconcealtheircircumstances,orperhapsnotknowingitthemselves,gavethedistempertoothers,andspreadtheinfectioninadreadfulmanner,asIshallexplainfurtherhereafter。 AndhereImaybeabletomakeanobservationortwoofmyown,whichmaybeofusehereaftertothoseintowhosebandsthesemaycome,iftheyshouldeverseethelikedreadfulvisitation。(1)Theinfectiongenerallycameintothehousesofthecitizensbythemeansoftheirservants,whomtheywereobligedtosendupanddownthestreetsfornecessaries;thatistosay,forfoodorphysic,tobakehouses,brew—houses,shops,&c。;andwhogoingnecessarilythroughthestreetsintoshops,markets,andthelike,itwasimpossiblebutthattheyshould,onewayorother,meetwithdistemperedpeople,whoconveyedthefatalbreathintothem,andtheybroughtithometothefamiliestowhichtheybelonged。(2)Itwasagreatmistakethatsuchagreatcityasthishadbutonepest—house;forhadtherebeen,insteadofonepest—house— viz。,beyondBunhillFields,where,atmost,theycouldreceive,perhaps,twohundredorthreehundredpeople—Isay,hadthere,insteadofthatone,beenseveralpest—houses,everyoneabletocontainathousandpeople,withoutlyingtwoinabed,ortwobedsinaroom;andhadeverymasterofafamily,assoonasanyservantespeciallyhadbeentakensickinhishouse,beenobligedtosendthemtothenextpest—house,iftheywerewilling,asmanywere,andhadtheexaminersdonethelikeamongthepoorpeoplewhenanyhadbeenstrickenwiththeinfection;Isay,hadthisbeendonewherethepeoplewerewilling(nototherwise),andthehousesnotbeenshut,Iampersuaded,andwasallthewhileofthatopinion,thatnotsomany,byseveralthousands,haddied;foritwasobserved,andIcouldgiveseveralinstanceswithinthecompassofmyownknowledge,whereaservanthadbeentakensick,andthefamilyhadeithertimetosendhimoutorretirefromthehouseandleavethesickperson,asIhavesaidabove,theyhadallbeenpreserved;whereaswhen,upononeormoresickeninginafamily,thehousehasbeenshutup,thewholefamilyhaveperished,andthebearersbeenobligedtogointofetchoutthedeadbodies,notbeingabletobringthemtothedoor,andatlastnonelefttodoit。 (3)Thisputitoutofquestiontome,thatthecalamitywasspreadbyinfection;thatistosay,bysomecertainsteamsorfumes,whichthephysicianscalleffluvia,bythebreath,orbythesweat,orbythestenchofthesoresofthesickpersons,orsomeotherway,perhaps,beyondeventhereachofthephysiciansthemselves,whicheffluviaaffectedthesoundwhocamewithincertaindistancesofthesick,immediatelypenetratingthevitalpartsofthesaidsoundpersons,puttingtheirbloodintoanimmediateferment,andagitatingtheirspiritstothatdegreewhichitwasfoundtheywereagitated;andsothosenewlyinfectedpersonscommunicateditinthesamemannertoothers。AndthisIshallgivesomeinstancesof,thatcannotbutconvincethosewhoseriouslyconsiderit;andIcannotbutwithsomewonderfindsomepeople,nowthecontagionisover,talkofitsbeinganimmediatestrokefromHeaven,withouttheagencyofmeans,havingcommissiontostrikethisandthatparticularperson,andnoneother—whichIlookuponwithcontemptastheeffectofmanifestignoranceandenthusiasm;likewisetheopinionofothers,whotalkofinfectionbeingcarriedonbytheaironly,bycarryingwithitvastnumbersofinsectsandinvisiblecreatures,whoenterintothebodywiththebreath,orevenattheporeswiththeair,andtheregenerateoremitmostacutepoisons,orpoisonousovaeoreggs,whichminglethemselveswiththeblood,andsoinfectthebody:adiscoursefulloflearnedsimplicity,andmanifestedtobesobyuniversalexperience; butIshallsaymoretothiscaseinitsorder。 Imustheretakefurthernoticethatnothingwasmorefataltotheinhabitantsofthiscitythanthesupinenegligenceofthepeoplethemselves,who,duringthelongnoticeorwarningtheyhadofthevisitation,madenoprovisionforitbylayinginstoreofprovisions,orofothernecessaries,bywhichtheymighthavelivedretiredandwithintheirownhouses,asIhaveobservedothersdid,andwhowereinagreatmeasurepreservedbythatcaution;norwerethey,aftertheywerealittlehardenedtoit,soshyofconversingwithoneanother,whenactuallyinfected,astheywereatfirst:no,thoughtheyknewit。 IacknowledgeIwasoneofthosethoughtlessonesthathadmadesolittleprovisionthatmyservantswereobligedtogooutofdoorstobuyeverytriflebypennyandhalfpenny,justasbeforeitbegan,eventillmyexperienceshowingmethefolly,IbegantobewisersolatethatI hadscarcetimetostoremyselfsufficientforourcommonsubsistenceforamonth。 Ihadinfamilyonlyanancientwomanthatmanagedthehouse,amaid—servant,twoapprentices,andmyself;andtheplaguebeginningtoincreaseaboutus,IhadmanysadthoughtsaboutwhatcourseI shouldtake,andhowIshouldact。ThemanydismalobjectswhichhappenedeverywhereasIwentaboutthestreets,hadfilledmymindwithagreatdealofhorrorforfearofthedistemper,whichwasindeedveryhorribleinitself,andinsomemorethaninothers。Theswellings,whichweregenerallyintheneckorgroin,whentheygrewhardandwouldnotbreak,grewsopainfulthatitwasequaltothemostexquisitetorture;andsome,notabletobearthetorment,threwthemselvesoutatwindowsorshotthemselves,orotherwisemadethemselvesaway,andIsawseveraldismalobjectsofthatkind。 Others,unabletocontainthemselves,ventedtheirpainbyincessantroarings,andsuchloudandlamentablecriesweretobeheardaswewalkedalongthestreetsthatwouldpiercetheveryhearttothinkof,especiallywhenitwastobeconsideredthatthesamedreadfulscourgemightbeexpectedeverymomenttoseizeuponourselves。 IcannotsaybutthatnowIbegantofaintinmyresolutions;myheartfailedmeverymuch,andsorelyIrepentedofmyrashness。 WhenIhadbeenout,andmetwithsuchterriblethingsastheseIhavetalkedof,IsayIrepentedmyrashnessinventuringtoabideintown。I wishedoftenthatIhadnottakenuponmetostay,buthadgoneawaywithmybrotherandhisfamily。 Terrifiedbythosefrightfulobjects,Iwouldretirehomesometimesandresolvetogooutnomore;andperhapsIwouldkeepthoseresolutionsforthreeorfourdays,whichtimeIspentinthemostseriousthankfulnessformypreservationandthepreservationofmyfamily,andtheconstantconfessionofmysins,givingmyselfuptoGodeveryday,andapplyingtoHimwithfasting,humiliation,andmeditation。SuchintervalsasIhadIemployedinreadingbooksandinwritingdownmymemorandumsofwhatoccurredtomeeveryday,andoutofwhichafterwardsItookmostofthiswork,asitrelatestomyobservationswithoutdoors。WhatIwroteofmyprivatemeditationsIreserveforprivateuse,anddesireitmaynotbemadepubliconanyaccountwhatever。 Ialsowroteothermeditationsupondivinesubjects,suchasoccurredtomeatthattimeandwereprofitabletomyself,butnotfitforanyotherview,andthereforeIsaynomoreofthat。 Ihadaverygoodfriend,aphysician,whosenamewasHeath,whomIfrequentlyvisitedduringthisdismaltime,andtowhoseadviceIwasverymuchobligedformanythingswhichhedirectedmetotake,bywayofpreventingtheinfectionwhenIwentout,ashefoundI frequentlydid,andtoholdinmymouthwhenIwasinthestreets。Healsocameveryoftentoseeme,andashewasagoodChristianaswellasagoodphysician,hisagreeableconversationwasaverygreatsupporttomeintheworstofthisterribletime。 ItwasnowthebeginningofAugust,andtheplaguegrewveryviolentandterribleintheplacewhereIlived,andDrHeathcomingtovisitme,andfindingthatIventuredsooftenoutinthestreets,earnestlypersuadedmetolockmyselfupandmyfamily,andnottosufferanyofustogooutofdoors;tokeepallourwindowsfast,shuttersandcurtainsclose,andnevertoopenthem;butfirst,tomakeaverystrongsmokeintheroomwherethewindowordoorwastobeopened,withrozenandpitch,brimstoneorgunpowderandthelike;