MissWilson,atalossforareply,regrettedthatshehadnot,beforelettinghimgainsofaronher,dismissedhimsummarilyinsteadoftoleratingadiscussionwhichshedidnotknowhowtoendwithdignity。Herelievedherbyaddingunexpectedly:
\"Yoursystemwasthecauseofmyabsurdmarriage。Mywifeacquiredadegreeofcultureandreasonablenessfromhertrainingherewhichmadeherseemasuperiorbeingamongthechattererswhoformthefemaleseasoninginordinarysociety。Iadmiredherdarkeyes,andwasonlytoogladtoseizetheexcusehereducationofferedmeforbelievingheramatchformeinmindaswellasinbody。\"
MissWilson,astonished,determinedtotellhimcoldlythathertimewasvaluable。Butcuriositytookpossessionofherintheactofutterance,andthewordsthatcamewere,\"Whowasshe?\"
\"HenriettaJansenius。SheisHenriettaTrefusis,andIamSidneyTrefusis,atyourmercy。IseeIhavearousedyourcompassionatlast。\"
\"Nonsense!\"saidMissWilsonhastily;forhersurprisewasindeedtingedbyafeelingthathewasthrownawayonHenrietta。
\"Iranawayfromherandadoptedthisretreatandthisdisguiseinordertoavoidher。Theusualrebuketohumanforethoughtfollowed。Iranstraightintoherarms——orrathersheranintomine。Yourememberthescene,andwereprobablypuzzledbyit。\"
\"Youseemtothinkyourmarriagecontractaverylightmatter,Mr。Trefusis。MayIaskwhosefaultwastheseparation?Hers,ofcourse。\"
\"Ihavenothingtoreproachherwith。Iexpectedtofindhertemperhasty,butitwasnotso——herbehaviorwasunexceptionable。Sowasmine。Ourblisswasperfect,butunfortunately,Iwasnotmadefordomesticbliss——atalleventsI
couldnotendureit——soIfled,andwhenshecaughtmeagainI
couldgivenoexcuseformyflight,thoughImadeitcleartoherthatIwouldnotresumeourconnubialrelationsjustyet。Wepartedonbadterms。Ifullyintendedtowriteherasweetlettertomakeherforgivemeinspiteofherself,butsomehowtheweekshaveslippedawayandIamstillfullyintending。Shehasneverwritten,andIhaveneverwritten。Thisisaprettystateofthings,isn\'tit,MissWilson,afterallheradvantagesundertheinfluenceofmoralforceandthemovementforthehighereducationofwomen?\"
\"Byyourownadmission,thefaultseemstolieuponyourmoraltrainingandnotuponhers。\"
\"Thefaultwasintheconditionsofourassociation。Whytheyshouldhaveattractedmesostronglyatfirst,andrepelledmesohorriblyafterwards,isoneofthosedevil\'sriddleswhichwillnotbeanswereduntilweshallhavetracedalltheyetunsuspectedreactionsofourinveteratedishonesty。ButIamwastingyourtime,Ifear。YousentforSmilash,andIhaverespondedbypracticallyannihilatinghim。Inpublic,however,youmuststillbearwithhisantics。Onemomentmore。Ihadforgottentoaskyouwhetheryouareinterestedintheshepherdwhosewifeyoushelteredonthenightofthestorm?\"
\"Heassuredme,beforehetookhiswifeaway,thathewascomfortablysettledinalodginginLyvern。\"
\"Yes。Verycomfortablysettledindeed。Forhalf—a—crownaweekheobtainedpermissiontoshareaspaciousdrawing—roomwithtwootherfamiliesinaten—roomedhouseinnotmuchbetterrepairthanhisblown—downhovel。Thishouseyieldstoitslandlordovertwohundredayear,orrathermorethantherentofacommodiousmansioninSouthKensington。Itisatroublesomerenttocollect,butontheotherhandthereisnoexpenditureforrepairsorsanitation,whicharenotconsiderednecessaryintenementhouses。Ourfriendhastowalkthreemilestohisworkandthreemilesback。Exerciseisacapitalthingforastudentoracityclerk,buttoashepherdwhohasbeeninthefieldsallday,alongwalkattheendofhisworkissomewhattoomuchofagoodthing。Hebeggedforanincreaseofwagestocompensatehimforthelossofthehut,butSirJohnpointedouttohimthatifhewasnotsatisfiedhisplacecouldbeeasilyfilledbylessexorbitantshepherds。SirJohnevencondescendedtoexplainthatthelawsofpoliticaleconomybindemployerstobuylaborinthecheapestmarket,andourpoorfriend,justasignorantofeconomicsasSirJohn,ofcoursedidnotknowthatthiswasuntrue。However,aslaborisactuallysopurchasedeverywhereexceptinDowningStreetandafewotherprivilegedspots,I
suggestedthatourfriendshouldgotosomeplacewherehismarketpricewouldbehigherthaninmerryEngland。Hewaswillingenoughtodoso,butunablefromwantofmeans。SoIlenthimatrifle,andnowheisonhiswaytoAustralia。Workmenarethegeesethatlaythegoldeneggs,buttheyflyawaysometimes。
Ihearagongsounding,toremindmeofthefightoftimeandthevalueofyourshareofit。Good—morning!\"
MissWilsonwassuddenlymovednottolethimgowithoutanappealtohisbetternature。\"Mr。Trefusis,\"shesaid,\"excuseme,butareyounot,inyourgenerositytoothersalittleforgetfulofyourdutytoyourself;and——\"
\"Thefirstandhardestofallduties!\"heexclaimed。\"Ibegyourpardonforinterruptingyou。Itwasonlytopleadguilty。\"
\"Icannotadmitthatitisthefirstofallduties,butitissometimesperhapsthehardest,asyousay。Still,youcouldsurelydoyourselfmorejusticewithoutanygreateffort。Ifyouwishtolivehumbly,youcandosowithoutpretendingtobeanuneducatedmanandwithouttakinganirritatingandabsurdname。
WhyonearthdoyoucallyourselfSmilash?\"
\"Iconfessthatthenamehasbeenafailure。Itookgreatpains,inconstructingit,tosecureapleasantimpression。Itisnotamereinvention,butacompoundofthewordssmileandeyelash。A
smilesuggestsgoodhumor;eyelashessoftentheexpressionandaretheonlyfeaturesthatneverblemishaface。HenceSmilashisasoundthatshouldcheerandpropitiate。Yetitexasperates。Itisreallyveryoddthatitshouldhavethateffect,unlessitisthatitraisesexpectationswhichIamunabletosatisfy。\"
MissWilsonlookedathimdoubtfully。Heremainedperfectlygrave。Therewasapause。Then,asifshehadmadeuphermindtobeoffended,shesaid,\"Good—morning,\"shortly。
\"Good—morning,MissWilson。Thesonofamillionaire,likethesonofaking,isseldomfreefrommentaldisease。Iamjustmadenoughtobeamountebank。IfIwerealittlemadder,IshouldperhapsreallybelievemyselfSmilashinsteadofmerelyactinghim。Whetheryouaskmetoforgetmyselfforamoment,ortoremembermyselfforamoment,IreplythatIamthesonofmyfather,andcannot。Withmyegotism,mycharlatanry,mytongue,andmyhabitofhavingmyownway,Iamfitfornocallingbutthatofsaviourofmankind——justofthesorttheylike。\"Afteranimpressivepauseheturnedslowlyandlefttheroom。
\"Iwonder,\"hesaid,ashecrossedthelanding,\"whether,byjudiciouslylosingmyway,Icancatchaglimpseofthatgirlwhoislikeagoldenidol?\"
Downstairs,onhiswaytothedoor,hesawAgathacomingtowardshim,occupiedwithabookwhichshewastossinguptotheceilingandcatching。Hermelancholyexpression,habitualinherlonelymoments,showedthatshewasnotamusingherself,butgivingventtoherrestlessness。Ashergazetravelledupward,followingtheflightofthevolume,itwasarrestedbySmilash。Thebookfelltothefloor。Hepickeditupandhandedittoher,saying:
\"And,ingoodtime,hereisthegoldenidol!\"
\"What?\"saidAgatha,confused。
\"Icallyouthegoldenidol,\"hesaid。\"WhenweareapartI
alwaysimagineyourfaceasafaceofgold,witheyesandteethofbdellium,orchalcedony,oragate,oranywonderfulunknownstonesofappropriatecolors。\"
Agatha,witlessanddumb,couldonlylookdowndeprecatingly。
\"Youthinkyououghttobeangrywithme,andyoudonotknowexactlyhowtomakemefeelthatyouareso。Isthatit?\"
\"No。Quitethecontrary。Atleast——Imeanthatyouarewrong。I
amthemostcommonplacepersonyoucanimagine——ifyouonlyknew。
NomatterwhatImaylook,Imean。\"
\"Howdoyouknowthatyouarecommonplace?\"
\"OfcourseIknow,\"saidAgatha,hereyeswanderinguneasily。
\"Ofcourseyoudonotknow;youcannotseeyourselfasothersseeyou。Forinstance,youhaveneverthoughtofyourselfasagoldenidol。\"
\"Butthatisabsurd。Youarequitemistakenaboutme。\"
\"Perhapsso。Iknow,however,thatyourfaceisnotreallymadeofgoldandthatithasnotthesamecharmforyouthatithasforothers——forme。\"
\"Imustgo,\"saidAgatha,suddenlyinhaste。
\"Whenshallwemeetagain?\"
\"Idon\'tknow,\"shesaid,withagrowingsenseofalarm。\"I
reallymustgo。\"
\"Believeme,yourhurryisonlyimaginary。DoyoufancythatyouarebehavinginamannerquiteubduedardorthataffectedAgathastrangely。\"Butfirsttellmewhetheritisnewtoyouornot。\"
\"Itisnotanemotionatall。Ididnotsaythatitwas。\"
\"Donotbeafraidofit。Itisonlybeingalonewithamanwhomyouhavebewitched。Youwouldbemistressofthesituationifyouonlyknewhowtomanagealover。Itisfareasierthanmanagingahorse,orskating,orplayingthepiano,orhalfadozenotherfeatsofwhichyouthinknothing。\"
Agathacoloredandraisedherhead。
\"Forgiveme,\"hesaid,interruptingtheaction。\"Iamtryingtooffendyouinordertosavemyselffromfallinginlovewithyou,andIhavenotthehearttoletmyselfsucceed。Onyourlife,donotlistentomeorbelieveme。Ihavenorighttosaythesethingstoyou。SomefiendentersintomewhenIamatyourside。
Youshouldwearaveil,Agatha。\"
Sheblushed,andstoodburningandtingling,herpresenceofmindgone,andherchiefsensationoneofrelieftohear——forshedidnotdaretosee——thathewasdeparting。Herconsciousnesswasinadeliciousconfusion,withtheonedefinitethoughtinitthatshehadwonherloveratlast。ThetoneofTrefusis\'svoice,richwithtruthandearnestness,hisquickinsight,andhispassionatewarningtohernottoheedhim,convincedherthatshehadenteredintoarelationdestinedtoinfluenceherwholelife。
\"Andyet,\"shesaidremorsefully,\"Icannotlovehimashelovesme。Iamselfish,cold,calculating,worldly,andhavedoubteduntilnowwhethersuchathingaslovereallyexisted。IfIcouldonlylovehimrecklesslyandwholly,ashelovesme!\"
Smilashwasalsosoliloquizingashewentonhisway。
\"NowIhavemadethepoorchild——whowassoanxiousthatIshouldnotmistakeherforasupernaturallygiftedandlovelywomanashappyasanangel;andsoisthatfinegirlwhomtheycallJaneCarpenter。Ihopetheywon\'texchangeconfidencesonthesubject。\"
CHAPTERVIII
Mrs。TrefusisfoundherparentssounsympatheticonthesubjectofhermarriagethatshelefttheirhouseshortlyafterhervisittoLyvern,andwenttoresidewithahospitablefriend。Unabletoremainsilentuponthematterconstantlyinherthoughts,shediscussedherhusband\'sflightwiththisfriend,andelicitedanopinionthatthebehaviorofTrefusiswasscandalousandwicked。
Henriettacouldnotbearthis,andsoughtshelterwitharelative。Thesamediscussionarising,therelativesaid:
\"Well,Hetty,ifIamtospeakcandidly,ImustsaythatIhaveknownSidneyTrefusisforalongtime,andheistheeasiestpersontogetonwithIevermet。Andyouknow,dear,thatyouareverytryingsometimes。\"
\"Andso,\"criedHenrietta,burstingintotears,\"aftertheinfamouswayhehastreatedmeIamtobetoldthatitisallmyownfault。\"
Sheleftthehousenextday,havingobtainedanotherinvitationfromadiscreetladywhowouldnotdiscussthesubjectatall。
Thisprovedquiteintolerable,andHenriettawenttostaywithheruncleDanielJansenius,ajollyandindulgentman。Heopinedthatthingswouldcomerightassoonasbothpartiesgrewmoresensible;and,astowhichofthemwas,infault,hisverdictwas,sixofoneandhalfadozenoftheother。Wheneverhesawhisniecepensiveortearfulhelaughedatherandcalledheragrasswidow。Henriettafoundthatshecouldendureanythingratherthanthis。Declaringthattheworldwashatefultoher,shehiredafurnishedvillainSt。John\'sWood,whithershemovedinDecember。But,sufferingmuchtherefromloneliness,shesoonwroteapatheticlettertoAgatha,entreatinghertospendtheapproachingChristmasvacationwithher,andpromisinghereveryluxuryandamusementthatboundlessaffectioncouldsuggestandboundlessmeansprocure。Agatha\'sreplycontainedsomeunlooked—forinformation。
\"AltonCollege,Lyvern,\"14thDecember。
\"DearestHetty:Idon\'tthinkIcandoexactlywhatyouwant,asImustspendXmaswithMammaatChiswick;butIneednotgetthereuntilXmasEve,andwebreakuphereonyesterdayweek,the20th。SoIwillgostraighttoyouandbringyouwithmetoMamma\'s,whereyouwillspendXmasmuchbetterthanmopinginastrangehouse。Itisnotquitesettledyetaboutmyleavingthecollegeafterthisterm。Youmustpromisenottotellanyone;butIhaveanewfriendhere——alover。NotthatIaminlovewithhim,thoughIthinkveryhighlyofhim——youknowIamnotaromanticfool;butheisverymuchinlovewithme;andIwishI
couldreturnitashedeserves。TheFrenchsaythatonepersonturnsthecheekandtheotherkissesit。Ithasnotgotquitesofarasthatwithus;indeed,sincehedeclaredwhathefelthehasonlybeenabletosnatchafewwordswithmewhenIhavebeenskatingorwalking。Buttherehasalwaysbeenatleastonewordorlookthatmeantagreatdeal。
\"Andnow,whodoyouthinkheis?Hesaysheknowsyou。Canyouguess?Hesaysyouknowallhissecrets。Hesaysheknowsyourhusbandwell;thathetreatedyouverybadly,andthatyouaregreatlytobepitied。Canyouguessnow?Hesayshehaskissedyou——forshame,Hetty!Haveyouguessedyet?Hewasgoingtotellmesomethingmorewhenwewereinterrupted,andIhavenotseenhimsinceexceptatadistance。Heisthemanwithwhomyouelopedthatdaywhenyougaveusallsuchafright——Mr。Sidney。I
wasthefirsttopenetratehisdisguise;andthatverymorningI
hadtaxedhimwithit,andhehadconfessedit。Hesaidthenthathewashidingfromawomanwhowasinlovewithhim;andIshouldnotbesurprisedifitturnedouttobetrue;forheiswonderfullyoriginal——infactwhatmakesmelikehimisthatheisbyfarthecleverestmanIhaveevermet;andyethethinksnothingofhimself。Icannotimaginewhatheseesinmetocarefor,thoughheisevidentlyensnaredbymycharms。Ihopehewon\'tfindouthowsillyIam。Hecalledmehisgoldenidol——\"
Henrietta,withascreamofrage,toretheletteracross,andstampeduponit。Whentheparoxysmsubsidedshepickedupthepieces,heldthemtogetherasaccuratelyashertremblinghandscould,andreadon。
\"——butheisnotallhoney,andwillsaythemostseverethingssometimesifhethinksheoughtto。HehasmademesoashamedofmyignorancethatIamresolvedtostayhereforanothertermatleast,andstudyashardasIcan。Ihavenotbegunyet,asitisnotworthwhileattheeleventhhourofthisterm;butwhenI
returninJanuaryIwillsettoworkinearnest。Soyoumayseethathisinfluenceovermeisanentirelygoodone。Iwilltellyouallabouthimwhenwemeet;forIhavenotimetosayanythingnow,asthegirlsarebotheringmetogoskatingwiththem。Hepretendstobeaworkman,andputsonourskatesforus;
andJaneCarpenterbelievesthatheisinlovewithher。Janeisexceedinglykindhearted;butshehasatalentformakingherselfridiculousthatnothingcansuppress。Theiceislovely,andtheweatherjolly;wedonotmindthecoldintheleast。Theyarethreateningtogowithoutme——good—bye!
\"Everyouraffectionate\"Agatha。\"
Henriettalookedroundforsomethingsharp。Shegraspedapairofscissorsgreedilyandstabbedtheairwiththem。Thenshebecameconsciousofhermurderousimpulse,andsheshudderedatit;butinamomentmoreherjealousysweptbackuponher。Shecried,asifsuffocating,\"Idon\'tcare;Ishouldliketokillher!\"Butshedidnottakeupthescissorsagain。
Atlastsherangthebellviolentlyandaskedforarailwayguide。Onbeingtoldthattherewasnotoneinthehouse,shescoldedhermaidsounreasonablythatthegirlsaidpertlythatifsheweretobespokentolikethatsheshouldwishtoleavewhenhermonthwasup。ThischeckbroughtHenriettatohersenses。Shewentupstairsandputonthefirstcloakathand,whichwasfortunatelyaheavyfurone。Thenshetookherbonnetandpurse,leftthehouse,hailedapassinghansom,andbadethecabmandrivehertoSt。Pancras。
WhenthenightcametheairatLyvernwaslikeironintheintensecold。Thetreesandthewindseemedice—bound,asthewaterwas,andsilence,stillness,andstarlight,frozenhard,broodedoverthecountry。Atthechalet,Smilash,indifferenttothepriceofcoals,keptuparoaringfirethatglowedthroughtheuncurtainedwindows,andtantalizedthechilledwayfarerwhodidnothappentoknow,astheherdsmenoftheneighborhooddid,thathewaswelcometoenterandwarmhimselfwithoutriskofrebufffromthetenant。Smilashwasinhighspirits。Hehadbecomeaproficientskater,andfrostyweatherwasnowaluxurytohim。Itbracedhim,anddroveawayhisgloomyfits,whilsthissympathieswerekeptawakeandhisindignationmaintainedatanexhilaratingpitchbythesufferingsofthepoor,who,unabletoaffordfiresorskating,warmedthemselvesinsuchswelteringheatasovercrowdingproducesinallseasons。
ItwasSmilash\'scustomtomakeahotdrinkofoatmealandwaterforhimselfathalf—pastnineo\'clockeachevening,andtogotobedatten。Heopenedthedoortothrowoutsomewaterthatremainedinthesaucepanfromitslastcleansing。Itfrozeasitfelluponthesoil。Helookedatthenight,andshookhimselftothrowoffanoppressivesensationofbeingclaspedintheicyribsoftheair,forthemercuryhaddescendedbelowthefamiliarregionofcrispandcracklycoldandmarkedatemperatureatwhichthenumbatmosphereseemedonthepointofcongealingintoblacksolidity。Nothingwasstirring。
\"ByGeorge!\"hesaid,\"thisisoneofthosenightsonwhicharichmandaren\'tthink!\"
Heshutthedoor,hastenedbacktohisfire,andsettoworkathiscaudle,whichhewatchedandstirredwithasolicitudethatwouldhaveamusedaprofessedcook。Whenitwasdonehepoureditintoalargemug,whereitsteamedinvitingly。Hetookupsomeinaspoonandblewuponittocoolit。Tap,tap,tap,tap!
hurriedlyatthedoor。
\"Nicenightforawalk,\"hesaid,puttingdownthespoon;thenshouting,\"Comein。\"
Thelatchroseunsteadily,andHenrietta,withfrozentearsonhercheeks,andanunintelligibleexpressionofwretchednessandrage,appeared。Afteraninstantofamazement,hesprangtoherandclaspedherinhisarms,andshe,againstherwill,andprotestingvoicelessly,stumbledintohisembrace。
\"Youarefrozentodeath,\"heexclaimed,carryinghertothefire。\"Thissealjacketislikeasheetofice。Soisyourface\"
(kissingit)。\"Whatisthematter?Whydoyoustruggleso?\"
\"Letmego,\"shegasped,inavehementwhisper。\"Ih——hateyou。\"
\"Mypoorlove,youaretoocoldtohateanyone——evenyourhusband。YoumustletmetakeofftheseatrociousFrenchboots。
Yourfeetmustbeperfectlydead。\"
Bythistimehervoiceandtearswerethawinginthewarmthofthechaletandofhiscaresses。\"Youshallnottakethemoff,\"
shesaid,cryingwithcoldandsorrow。\"Letmealone。Don\'ttouchme。Iamgoingaway——straightback。Iwillnotspeaktoyou,nortakeoffmythingshere,nortouchanythinginthehouse。\"
\"No,mydarling,\"hesaid,puttingherintoacapaciouswoodenarmchairandbusilyunbuttoningherboots,\"youshalldonothingthatyoudon\'twishtodo。Yourfeetarelikestones。Yes,yes,mydear,Iamawretchunworthytolive。Iknowit。\"
\"Letmealone,\"shesaidpiteously。\"Idon\'twantyourattentions。Ihavedonewithyouforever。\"
\"Come,youmustdrinksomeofthisnastystuff。Youwillneedstrengthtotellyourhusbandalltheunpleasantthingsyoursoulischargedwith。Takejustalittle。\"
Sheturnedherfaceawayandwouldnotanswer。Hebroughtanotherchairandsatdownbesideher。\"Mylost,forlorn,betrayedone——\"
\"Iam,\"shesobbed。\"Youdon\'tmeanit,butIam。\"
\"Youarealsomydearestandbestofwives。Ifyoueverlovedme,Hetty,do,formyoncedearsake,drinkthisbeforeitgetscold。\"
Shepouted,sobbed,andyieldedtosomegentleforcewhichheused,asachildallowsherselftobehalfpersuaded,halfcompelled,totakephysic。
\"Doyoufeelbetterandmorecomfortablenow?\"hesaid。
\"No,\"shereplied,angrywithherselfforfeelingboth。
\"Then,\"hesaidcheerfully,asifshehadutteredaheartyaffirmative,\"Iwillputsomemorecoalsonthefire,andweshallbeassnugaspossible。Itmakesmewildlyhappytoseeyouatmyfireside,andtoknowthatyouaremyownwife。\"
\"Iwonderhowyoucanlookmeinthefaceandsayso,\"shecried。
\"IshouldwonderatmyselfifIcouldlookatyourfaceandsayanythingelse。Oatmealisacapitalrestorative;allyourenergyiscomingback。There,thatwillmakeamagnificentblazepresently。\"
\"Ineverthoughtyoudeceitful,Sidney,whateverotherfaultsyoumighthavehad。\"
\"Precisely,mylove。Iunderstandyourfeelings。Murder,burglary,intemperance,ortheminorvicesyoucouldhaveborne;
butdeceityoucannotabide。\"
\"Iwillgoaway,\"shesaiddespairingly,withafreshburstoftears。\"Iwillnotbelaughedatandbetrayed。Iwillgobarefooted。\"Sheroseandattemptedtoreachthedoor;butheinterceptedherandsaid:
\"Mylove,thereissomethingseriousthematter。Whatisit?
Don\'tbeangrywithme。\"
Hebroughtherbacktothechair。ShetookAgatha\'sletterfromthepocketofherfurcloak,andhandedittohimwithafaintattempttobetragic。
\"Readthat,\"shesaid。\"Andneverspeaktomeagain。Allisoverbetweenus。\"
Hetookitcuriously,andturnedittolookatthesignature。
\"Aha!\"hesaid,\"mygoldenidolhasbeenmakingmischief,hasshe?\"
\"There!\"exclaimedHenrietta。\"Youhavesaidittomyface!Youhaveconvictedyourselfoutofyourownmouth!\"
\"Waitamoment,mydear。Ihavenotreadtheletteryet。\"
Heroseandwalkedtoandfrothroughtheroom,reading。Shewatchedhim,angrilyconfidentthatsheshouldpresentlyseehimchangecountenance。Suddenlyhedroopedasifhisspinehadpartlygivenway;andinthisungracefulattitudehereadtheremainderoftheletter。Whenhehadfinishedhethrewitonthetable,thrusthishandsdeepintohispockets,androaredwithlaughter,huddlinghimselftogetherasifhecouldconcentratethejokebycollectinghimselfintothesmallestpossiblecompass。Henrietta,speechlesswithindignation,couldonlylookherfeelings。Atlasthecameandsatdownbesideher。
\"Andso,\"hesaid,\"onreceivingthisyourushedoutinthecoldandcameallthewaytoLyvern。Now,itseemstomethatyoumusteitherlovemeverymuch——\"
\"Idon\'t。Ihateyou。\"
\"Orelseloveyourselfverymuch。\"
\"Oh!\"Andsheweptafresh。\"Youareaselfishbrute,andyoudojustasyoulikewithoutconsideringanyoneelse。Nooneeverthinksofme。Andnowyouwon\'teventakethetroubletodenythatshamefulletter。\"
\"WhyshouldIdenyit?Itistrue。Doyounotseetheironyofallthis?IamusemyselfbypayingafewcomplimentstoaschoolgirlforwhomIdonotcaretwostrawsmorethanforanyagreeableandpassablycleverwomanImeet。Nevertheless,I
occasionallyfeelapangofremorsebecauseIthinkthatshemaylovemeseriously,althoughIamonlyplayingwithher。IpitythepoorheartIhavewantonlyensnared。And,allthetime,sheispityingmeforexactlythesamereason!Sheisconscience—strickenbecausesheisonlyindulgingintheluxuryofbeingadored\'byfarthecleverestmanshehasevermet,\'andisasheart—wholeasIam!Ha,ha!Thatisthebasisofthereligionofloveofwhichpoetsarethehigh—priests。Eachworshipperknowsthathisownloveiseitheratransientpassionorashamcopiedfromhisfavoritepoem;buthebelieveshonestlyintheloveofothersforhim。Ho,ho!Isitnotasillyworld,mydear?\"
\"YouhadnorighttomakelovetoAgatha。Youhavenorighttomakelovetoanyonebutme;andIwon\'tbearit。\"
\"YouareangrybecauseAgathahasinfringedyourmonopoly。Alwaysmonopoly!Why,yousillygirl,doyousupposethatIbelongtoyou,bodyandsoul?——thatImaynotbemovedexceptbyyouraffection,orthinkexceptofyourbeauty?\"
\"Youmaycallmeasmanynamesasyouplease,butyouhavenorighttomakelovetoAgatha。\"
\"Mydearest,Idonotrecollectcallingyouanynames。Ithinkyousaidsomethingaboutaselfishbrute。\"
\"Ididnot。Youcalledmeasillygirl。\"
\"But,mylove,youare。\"
\"AndsoYOUare。Youarethoroughlyselfish。\"
\"Idon\'tdenyit。Butletusreturntooursubject。Whatdidwebegintoquarrelabout?\"
\"Iamnotquarrelling,Sidney。Itisyou。\"
\"Well,whatdidIbegintoquarrelabout?\"
\"AboutAgathaWylie。\"
\"Oh,pardonme,Hetty;Icertainlydidnotbegintoquarrelabouther。Iamveryfondofher——moreso,itappears,thansheisofme。Onemoment,Hetty,beforeyourecommenceyourreproaches。
WhydoyoudislikemysayingprettythingstoAgatha?\"
Henriettahesitated,andsaid:\"Becauseyouhavenorightto。Itshowshowlittleyoucareforme。\"
\"Ithasnothingtodowithyou。ItonlyshowshowmuchIcareforher。\"
\"Iwillnotstayheretobeinsulted,\"saidHetty,herdistressreturning。\"Iwillgohome。\"
\"Notto—night;thereisnotrain。\"
\"Iwillwalk。\"
\"Itistoofar。\"
\"Idon\'tcare。Iwillnotstayhere,thoughIdieofcoldbytheroadside。\"
\"Mycherishedone,Ihavebeenannoyingyoupurposelybecauseyoushowbyyourangerthatyouhavenotceasedtocareforme。Iaminthewrong,asIusuallyam,anditisallmyfault。Agathaknowsnothingaboutourmarriage。\"
\"Idonotblameyousomuch,\"saidHenrietta,sufferinghimtoplaceherheadonhisshoulder;\"butIwillneverspeaktoAgathaagain。Shehasbehavedshamefullytome,andIwilltellherso。\"
\"Nodoubtshewillopinethatitisallyourfault,dearest,andthatIhavebehavedadmirably。BetweenyouIshallstandexonerated。Andnow,sinceitistoocoldforwalking,sinceitislate,sinceitisfartoLyvernandfarthertoLondon,Imustimprovisesomeaccommodationforyouhere。\"
\"But——\"
\"Butthereisnohelpforit。Youmuststay。\"
CHAPTERIX
NextdaySmilashobtainedfromhiswifeapromisethatshewouldbehavetowardsAgathaasiftheletterhadgivennooffence。