Rosestoodstill,appalledbythissuddenknowledgeofhowmuchgreatertheevilwasthanshehaddreamed。Whatoughtshetodo?Gowithhercousin,andbysodoingtacitlypledgeherselfashiscompaniononthatlongerjourneyforwhichhewasasyetsopoorlyequipped?Bothheartandconscienceprotestedagainstthissostronglythatsheputthethoughtaway。Butcompassionpleadedforhimtenderly,andthespiritofself—sacrifice,whichmakeswomenlovetogivemorethantheyreceive,causedhertofeelasifinameasurethisman\'sfatelayinherhands,tobedecidedforgoodorillthroughher。Howshouldshebetruebothtohimandtoherself?
Beforethisquestioncouldbeanswered,hewasbackagain,lookingasifhehadlefthiscarebehindhim,forhismoodsvariedlikethewind。
Herattitude,asshestoodmotionlessandalonewithdowncastface,wassounlikethecheerfulcreaturewhocametomeethimanhourago,itfilledhimwithself—reproach,and,comingup,hedrewonehandthroughhisarm,saying,assheinvoluntarilyfollowedhim,\"Youmustnotstandstill。Forgetmyheroicsandanswermyquestion。Willyougowithus,Rose?\"
\"Notnowthatisaskingtoomuch,Charlie,andIwillpromisenothing,becauseIcannotdoithonestly,\"sheanswered,sofirmlythatheknewappealwasuseless。
\"AmItogoalone,then,leavingallIcareforbehindme?\"
\"No,takeyourmotherwithyou,anddoyourbesttoreuniteyourparents。
Youcouldnotgiveyourselftoabettertask。\"
\"Shewon\'tgowithoutyou。\"
\"Ithinkshewillifyouholdfasttoyourresolution。Youwon\'tgivethatup,Ihope?\"
\"NoImustgosomewhere,forIcan\'tstayhere,anditmayaswellbeIndia,sincethatpleasesFather,\"answeredCharliedoggedly。
\"Itwillmorethanyoucanimagine。Tellhimallthetruth,andseehowgladhewillbetohelpyou,andhowsincerelyhewillrespectyouforwhatyou\'vedone。\"
\"Ifyourespectme,Idon\'tcaremuchabouttheopinionofanyoneelse,\"
answeredCharlie,clingingwithalover\'spertinacitytothehopethatwasdearest。
\"Ishall,ifyougomanfullyawayanddothedutyyouoweyourfatherandyourself。\"
\"AndwhenI\'vedoneit,mayIcomebacktoberewarded,Rose?\"heasked,takingpossessionofthehandonhisarmasifitwasalreadyhis。
\"IwishIcouldsaywhatyouwantmeto。ButhowcanIpromisewhenIamnotsureofanything?Idon\'tloveyouasIought,andperhapsInevershallsowhypersistinmakingmebindmyselfinthisway?Begenerous,Charlie,anddon\'taskit,\"imploredRose,muchafflictedbyhispersistence。
\"Ithoughtyoudidlovemeitlookedverylikeitamonthago,unlessyouhaveturnedcoquette,andIcan\'tquitebelievethat,\"heansweredbitterly。
\"Iwasbeginningtoloveyou,butyoumademeafraidtogoon,\"
murmuredRose,tryingtotellthetruthkindly。
\"Thatcursedcustom!Whatcanamandowhenhishostessaskshimtodrinkwinewithher?\"AndCharlielookedasifhecouldhavecursedhimselfevenmoreheartily。
\"Hecansay\'no。\'\"
\"Ican\'t。\"
\"Ah,that\'sthetrouble!Youneverlearnedtosayiteventoyourself,andnowitissohard,youwantmetohelpyou。\"
\"Andyouwon\'t。\"
\"Yes,Iwill,byshowingyouthatIcansayittomyself,foryoursake。\"AndRoselookedupwithafacesofulloftendersorrowhecouldnotdoubtthewordswhichbothreproachedandcomfortedhim。
\"Mylittlesaint!Idon\'tdeserveonehalfyourgoodnesstome,butIwill,andgoawaywithoutonecomplainttodomybest,foryoursake,\"
hecried,touchedbyhergriefandstirredtoemulationbytheexampleofcourageandintegrityshetriedtosethim。
HereKittyandSteveboredownuponthem;and,obeyingtheimpulsetoputcarebehindthem,whichmakesitpossibleforyoungheartstoacheoneminuteanddancethenext,RoseandCharliebanishedtheirtroubles,joinedinthesportthatsoonturnedthelonelylittlebayintoaballroom,andenjoyedthesplendorsofawintersunsetforgetfulofseparationandCalcutta。Chapter15。Chapter15。15ALASFORCHARLIE!Inspiteofmuchinternalrebellion,Charlieheldfasttohisresolution,andAuntClara,findingallpersuasionsvain,gaveinandinastateofchronicindignationagainsttheworldingeneralandRoseinparticular,preparedtoaccompanyhim。Thepoorgirlhadahardtimeofitand,butforheruncle,wouldhavefaredstillworse。HewasasortofshielduponwhichMrs。Clara\'slamentations,reproaches,andirateglancesfellunavailinglyinsteadofwoundingtheheartagainstwhichtheywereaimed。
Thedayspassedveryquicklynow,foreveryoneseemedanxioustohavethepartingoverandpreparationswentonrapidly。Thebighousewasmadereadytoshutupforayearatleast,comfortsforthelongvoyagelaidin,andfarewellvisitspaid。ThegeneralactivityandexcitementrendereditimpossibleforCharlietoleadthelifeofanartistichermitanylongerandhefellintoarestlessconditionwhichcausedRosetolongforthedepartureoftheRajahwhenshefeltthathewouldbesafe,forthesefarewellfestivitiesweredangeroustoonewhowasjustlearningtosay\"no。\"
\"Halfthemonthsafelygone。Ifwecanonlygetwellovertheselastweeks,agreatweightwillbeoffmymind,\"thoughtRoseasshewentdownonewild,wetmorningtowardtheendofFebruary。
Openingthestudydoortogreetheruncle,sheexclaimed,\"Why,Archie!\"
thenpauseduponthethreshold,transfixedbyfear,forinhercousin\'swhitefaceshereadthetidingsofsomegreataffliction。
\"Hush!Don\'tbefrightened。ComeinandI\'lltellyou,\"hewhispered,puttingdownthebottlehehadjusttakenfromthedoctor\'smedicinecloset。
Roseunderstoodandobeyed,forAuntPlentywaspoorlywithherrheumatismanddependedonhermorningdoze。
\"Whatisit?\"shesaid,lookingabouttheroomwithashiver,asifexpectingtoseeagainwhatshesawthereNewYear\'snight。Archiewasalone,however,and,drawinghertowardthecloset,answeredwithanevidentefforttobequitecalmandsteady\"Charlieishurt!Unclewantsmoreetherandthewidebandagesinsomedrawerorother。Hetoldme,butI
forget。Youkeepthisplaceinorderfindthemforme。Quick!\"
Beforehehaddone,Rosewasatthedrawer,turningoverthebandageswithhandsthattrembledastheysearched。
\"Allnarrow!Imustmakesome。Canyouwait?\"And,catchingupapieceofoldlinen,shetoreitintowidestrips,adding,inthesamequicktone,asshebegantorollthem,\"Now,tellme。\"
\"Icanwaitthosearenotneededjustyet。Ididn\'tmeananyoneshouldknow,youleastofall,\"beganArchie,smoothingoutthestripsastheylayacrossthetableandevidentlysurprisedatthegirl\'snerveandskill。
\"Icanbearitmakehaste!Ishemuchhurt?\"
\"I\'mafraidheis。Unclelookssober,andthepoorboysuffersso,I
couldn\'tstay,\"answeredArchie,turningstillwhiteraboutthelipsthatneverhadsohardataletotellbefore。
\"Yousee,hewenttotownlasteveningtomeetthemanwhoisgoingtobuyBrutus\"
\"AndBrutusdidit?Iknewhewould!\"criedRose,droppingherworktowringherhands,asifsheguessedtheendingofthestorynow。
\"Yes,andifhewasn\'tshotalreadyI\'ddoitmyselfwithpleasure,forhe\'sdonehisbesttokillCharlie,\"mutteredCharlie\'smatewithagrimlook,thengaveagreatsighandaddedwithavertedface,\"Ishouldn\'tblamethebrute,itwasn\'thisfault。Heneededafirmhandand\"Hestoppedthere,butRosesaidquickly:\"Goon。Imustknow。\"
\"Charliemetsomeofhisoldcronies,quitebyaccident;therewasadinnerparty,andtheymadehimgo,justforagood—bye,theysaid。Hecouldn\'trefuse,anditwastoomuchforhim。Hewouldcomehomealoneinthestorm,thoughtheytriedtokeephim,ashewasn\'tfit。Downbythenewbridgethathighembankment,youknowthewindhadputthelanternoutheforgotorsomethingscaredBrutus,andallwentdowntogether。\"
ArchiehadspokenfastandbrokenlybutRoseunderstoodandatthelastwordhidherfacewithalittlemoan,asifshesawitall。
\"Drinkthisandnevermindtherest,\"hesaid,dashingintothenextroomandcomingbackwithaglassofwater,longingtobedoneandaway,forthissortofpainseemedalmostasbadasthathehadleft。
Rosedrank,butheldhisarmtightly,ashewouldhaveturnedaway,sayinginatoneofcommandhecouldnotdisobey:\"Don\'tkeepanythingbacktellmetheworstatonce。\"
\"Weknewnothingofit,\"hewentonobediently。\"AuntClarathoughthewaswithme,andnoonefoundhimtillearlythismorning。Aworkmanrecognizedhimandhewasbroughthome,deadtheythought。IcameforUncleanhourago。Charlieisconsciousnow,butawfullyhurt,andI\'mafraidfromthewayMacandUnclelookedatoneanotherthatOh!Thinkofit,Rose!Crushedandhelpless,aloneintherainallnight,andIneverknew,Ineverknew!\"
Withthat,poorArchiebrokedownentirelyand,flinginghimselfintoachair,laidhisfaceonthetable,sobbinglikeagirl。Rosehadneverseenamancrybefore,anditwassounlikeawoman\'sgentlergriefthatitmovedherverymuch。Puttingbyherownanguish,shetriedtocomforthisand,goingtohim,lifteduphisheadandmadehimleanonher,forinsuchhoursasthiswomenarethestronger。Itwasaverylittletodo,butitdidcomfortArchie,forthepoorfellowfeltasiffatewasveryharduponhimjustthen,andinthisfaithfulbosomhecouldpourhisbriefbutpatheticplaint。
\"Phebe\'sgone,andnowifCharlie\'staken,Idon\'tseehowIcanbearit!\"
\"Phebewillcomeback,dear,andletushopepoorCharlieisn\'tgoingtobetakenyet。Suchthingsalwaysseemworstatfirst,I\'veheardpeoplesay,socheerupandhopeforthebest,\"answeredRose,seekingforsomecomfortablewordstosayandfindingveryfew。
Theytookeffect,however,forArchiedidcheeruplikeaman。Wipingawaythetearswhichhesoseldomshedthattheydidnotknowwheretogo,hegotup,gavehimselfalittleshake,andsaidwithalongbreath,asifhehadbeenunderwater:\"NowI\'mallright,thankyou。Icouldn\'thelpittheshockofbeingwakedsuddenlytofindthedearoldfellowinsuchapitifulstateupsetme。Ioughttogoaretheseready?\"
\"Inaminute。TellUncletosendformeifIcanbeofanyuse。Oh,poorAuntClara!Howdoesshebearit?\"
\"Almostdistracted。ItookMothertoher,andshewilldoallthatanybodycan。HeavenonlyknowswhatAuntwilldoif\"
\"Andonlyheavencanhelpher,\"addedRoseasArchiestoppedatthewordshecouldnotutter。\"Nowtakethem,andletmeknowoften。\"
\"Youbravelittlesoul,Iwill。\"AndArchiewentawaythroughtherainwithhissadburden,wonderinghowRosecouldbesocalmwhenthebelovedPrincemightbedying。
Alongdarkdayfollowed,withnothingtobreakitsmelancholymonotonyexceptthebulletinsthatcamefromhourtohourreportinglittlechangeeitherforbetterorforworse。RosebrokethenewsgentlytoAuntPlentyandsetherselftothetaskofkeepinguptheoldlady\'sspirits,for,beinghelpless,thegoodsoulfeltasifeverythingwouldgowrongwithouther。Atduskshefellasleep,andRosewentdowntoorderlightsandfireintheparlor,withteareadytoserveatanymoment,forshefeltsuresomeofthemenwouldcomeandthatacheerfulgreetingandcreaturecomfortswouldsuitthembetterthantears,darkness,anddesolation。
PresentlyMacarrived,sayingtheinstantheenteredtheroom:\"Morecomfortable,Cousin。\"
\"Thankheaven!\"criedRose,unclaspingherhands。Thenseeinghowwornout,wet,andwearyMaclookedashecameintothelight,sheaddedinatonethatwasacordialinitself,\"Poorboy,howtiredyouare!Comehere,andletmemakeyoucomfortable。\"
\"Iwasgoinghometofreshenupabit,forImustbebackinanhour。
Mothertookmyplace,soIcouldbespared,andcameoff,asUnclerefusedtostir。\"
\"Don\'tgohome,forifAuntyisn\'tthereitwillbeverydismal。StepintoUncle\'sroomandrefresh,thencomebackandI\'llgiveyouyourtea。
Letme,letme!Ican\'thelpinanyotherway,andImustdosomething,thiswaitingissodreadful。\"
Herlastwordsbetrayedhowmuchsuspensewastryingher,andMacyieldedatonce,gladtocomfortandbecomforted。Whenhecameback,lookingmuchrevived,atemptinglittleteatablestoodbeforethefireandRosewenttomeethim,sayingwithafaintsmile,assheliberallybedewedhimwiththecontentsofacologneflask:\"Ican\'tbearthesmellofetheritsuggestssuchdreadfulthings。\"
\"Whatcuriouscreatureswomenare!Archietoldusyouborethenewslikeahero,andnowyouturnpaleatawhiffofbadair。Ican\'texplainit,\"musedMacashemeeklyenduredthefragrantshowerbath。
\"NeithercanI,butI\'vebeenimagininghorrorsalldayandmademyselfnervous。Don\'tletustalkaboutit,butcomeandhavesometea。\"
\"That\'sanotherqueerthing。Teaisyourpanaceaforallhumanillsyetthereisn\'tanynourishmentinit。I\'dratherhaveaglassofmilk,thankyou,\"saidMac,takinganeasychairandstretchinghisfeettothefire。
Shebroughtittohimandmadehimeatsomething;then,asheshuthiseyeswearily,shewentawaytothepianoand,havingnohearttosing,playedsoftlytillheseemedasleep。Butatthestrokeofsixhewasupandreadytobeoffagain。
\"Hegavemethat。Takeitwithyouandputsomeonhishair。Helikesit,andIdosowanttohelpalittle,\"shesaid,slippingtheprettyflagonintohispocketwithsuchawistfullookMacneverthoughtofsmilingatthisveryfemininerequest。
\"I\'lltellhim。IsthereanythingelseIcandoforyou,Cousin?\"heasked,holdingthecoldhandthathadbeenservinghimsohelpfully。
\"Onlythisifthereisanysuddenchange,promisetosendforme,nomatteratwhathouritis。Imustsay\'good—bye\'\"。
\"Iwillcomeforyou。But,Rose,Iamsureyoumaysleepinpeacetonight,andIhopetohavegoodnewsforyouinthemorning。\"
\"Blessyouforthat!Comeearly,andletmeseehimsoon。Iwillbeverygood,andIknowitwillnotdohimanyharm。\"
\"Nofearofthat。Thefirstthinghesaidwhenhecouldspeakwas\'TellRosecarefully,\'andasIcameawayheguessedwhereIwasgoingandtriedtokisshishandintheoldway,youknow。\"
MacthoughtitwouldcheerhertohearthatCharlierememberedher,butthesuddenthoughtthatshemightneverseethefamiliarlittlegestureanymorewasthelastdropthatmadeherfullheartoverflow,andMacsawthe\"hero\"ofthemorningsinkdownathisfeetinapassionoftearsthatfrightenedhim。Hetookhertothesofaandtriedtocomforther,butassoonasthebittersobbingquietedshelookedupandsaidquitesteadily,greatdropsrollingdownhercheeksthewhile:\"LetmecryitiswhatIneed,andIshallbeallthebetterforitbyandby。GotoCharlienowandtellhimIsaidwithallmyheart,\'Goodnight!\'\"
\"Iwill!\"AndMactrudgedaway,marvelinginhisturnatthecuriouslyblendedstrengthandweaknessofwomankind。
ThatwasthelongestnightRoseeverspent,butjoycameinthemorningwiththeearlymessage:\"Heisbetter。Youaretocomebyandby。\"ThenAuntPlentyforgotherlumbagoandarose;AuntMyra,whohadcometohaveasocialcroak,tookoffherblackbonnetasifitwouldnotbeneededatpresent,andthegirlmadereadytogoandsay\"Welcomeback,\"notthehard\"Good—bye。\"
Itseemedverylongtowait,fornosummonscametillafternoon,thenherunclearrived,andatthefirstsightofhisfaceRosebegantotremble。
\"Icameformylittlegirlmyself,becausewemustgobackatonce,\"
hesaidasshehurriedtowardhimhatinhand。
\"I\'mready,sir。\"Butherhandsshookasshetriedtotietheribbons,andhereyesneverleftthefacethatwasfulloftenderpityforher。
Hetookherquicklyintothecarriageand,astheyrolledaway,saidwiththequietdirectnesswhichsoothessuchagitationbetterthananysympatheticdemonstration:\"Charlieisworse。Ifeareditwhenthepainwentsosuddenlythismorning,butthechiefinjuriesareinternalandonecannevertellwhatthechancesare。Heinsiststhatheisbetter,buthewillsoonbegintofail,Ifear,becomeunconscious,andslipawaywithoutmoresuffering。Thisisthetimeforyoutoseehim,forhehassethisheartonit,andnothingcanhurthimnow。Mychild,itisveryhard,butwemusthelpeachotherbearit。\"
Rosetriedtosay,\"Yes,Uncle\"bravely,butthewordswouldnotcome,andshecouldonlyslipherhandintohiswithalookofmutesubmission。
Helaidherheadonhisshoulderandwentontalkingsoquietlythatanyonewhodidnotseehowwornandhaggardhisfacehadgrownwithtwodaysandanightofsharpanxietymighthavethoughthimcold。
\"Jessiehasgonehometorest,andJaneiswithpoorClara,whohasdroppedasleepatlast。I\'vesentforSteveandtheotherboys。Therewillbetimeforthemlater,buthesobeggedtoseeyounow,Ithoughtitbesttocomewhilethistemporarystrengthkeepshimup。Ihavetoldhimhowitis,buthewillnotbelieveme。Ifheasksyou,answerhonestlyandtrytofithimalittleforthissuddenendingofsomanyhopes。\"
\"Howsoon,Uncle?\"
\"Afewhours,probably。Thistranquilmomentisyoursmakethemostofitand,whenwecandonomoreforhim,we\'llcomfortoneanother。\"
Macmettheminthehall,butRosehardlysawhim。Shewasconsciousonlyofthetaskbeforeherand,whenheruncleledhertothedoor,shesaidquietly,\"Letmegoinalone,please。\"
Archie,whohadbeenhangingoverthebed,slippedawayintotheinnerroomassheappeared,andRosefoundCharliewaitingforherwithsuchahappyface,shecouldnotbelievewhatshehadheardandfounditeasytosayalmostcheerfullyasshetookhiseagerhandinbothofhers:\"DearCharlie,I\'msogladyousentforme。Ilongedtocome,butwaitedtillyouwerebetter。Yousurelyare?\"sheadded,asasecondglanceshowedtohertheindescribablechangewhichhadcomeuponthefacewhichatfirstseemedtohavebothlightandcolorinit。
\"Unclesaysnot,butIthinkheismistaken,becausetheagonyisallgone,andexceptforthisoddsinkingnowandthen,Idon\'tfeelsomuchamiss,\"heansweredfeeblybutwithsomethingoftheoldlightnessinhisvoice。
\"YouwillhardlybeabletosailintheRajah,Ifear,butyouwon\'tmindwaitingalittlewhilewenurseyou,\"saidpoorRose,tryingtotalkonquietly,withherheartgrowingheaviereveryminute。
\"IshallgoifI\'mcarried!I\'llkeepthatpromise,thoughitcostsmemylife。Oh,Rose!Youknow?They\'vetoldyou?\"And,withasuddenmemoryofwhatbroughthimthere,hehidhisfaceinthepillow。
\"Youbrokenopromise,forIwouldnotletyoumakeone,youremember。
Forgetallthat,andletustalkaboutthebettertimethatmaybecomingforyou。\"
\"Alwayssogenerous,sokind!\"hemurmured,withherhandagainsthisfeverishcheek;then,lookingup,hewentoninatonesohumblycontriteitmadehereyesfillwithslow,hottears。
\"ItriedtofleetemptationItriedtosay\'no,\'butIamsopitiablyweak,Icouldn\'t。Youmustdespiseme。Butdon\'tgivemeupentirely,forifIlive,I\'lldobetter。I\'llgoawaytoFatherandbeginagain。\"
Rosetriedtokeepbackthebitterdrops,buttheywouldfall,tohearhimstillspeakhopefullywhentherewasnohope。Somethinginthemuteanguishofherfaceseemedtotellhimwhatshecouldnotspeak,andaquickchangecameoverhimashegraspedherhandtighter,sayinginasharpwhisper:\"HaveIreallygottodie,Rose?\"
Heronlyanswerwastokneeldownandputherarmsabouthim,asifshetriedtokeepdeathawayalittlelonger。Hebelieveditthen,andlaysostill,shelookedupinamoment,fearingsheknewnotwhat。
ButCharlieboreitmanfully,forhehadthecouragewhichcanfaceagreatdangerbravely,thoughnotthestrengthtofightabosomsinandconquerit。Hiseyeswerefixed,asiftryingtolookintotheunseenworldwhitherhewasgoing,andhislipsfirmlysetthatnowordofcomplaintshouldspoiltheproofhemeanttogivethat,thoughhehadnotknownhowtolive,hedidknowhowtodie。ItseemedtoRoseasifforonebriefinstantshesawthemanthatmighthavebeenifearlytraininghadtaughthimhowtorulehimself;andthefirstwordsheutteredwithalongsigh,ashiseyecamebacktoher,showedthathefeltthefailureandowneditwithpatheticcandor。
\"Betterso,perhaps;bettergobeforeIbringanymoresorrowtoyouandshametomyself。I\'dliketostayalittlelongerandtrytoredeemthepast;itseemssowastednow,butifIcan\'t,don\'tgrieve,Rose。I\'mnolosstoanyone,andperhapsitistoolatetomend。\"
\"Oh,don\'tsaythat!Noonewillfindyourplaceamonguswenevercanforgethowmuchwelovedyou,andyoumustbelievehowfreelyweforgiveaswewouldbeforgiven,\"criedRose,steadiedbythepaledespairthathadfallenonCharlie\'sfacewiththosebitterwords。
\"\'Forgiveusourtrespasses!\'Yes,Ishouldsaythat。Rose,I\'mnotready,itissosudden。WhatcanIdo?\"hewhispered,clingingtoherasifhehadnoanchorexceptthecreaturewhomhelovedsomuch。
\"UnclewilltellyouIamnotgoodenoughIcanonlyprayforyou。\"Andshemovedasiftocallinthehelpsosorelyneeded。
\"No,no,notyet!Staybyme,darlingreadsomethingthere,inGrandfather\'soldbook,someprayerforsuchasI。Itwilldomemoregoodfromyouthananyministeralive。\"
ShegotthevenerablebookgiventoCharliebecauseheborethegoodman\'snameand,turningtothe\"PrayerfortheDying,\"readitbrokenlywhilethevoicebesideherechoednowandthensomewordthatreprovedorcomforted。
\"Thetestimonyofagoodconscience。\"\"Bythesadnessofhiscountenancemayhisheartbemadebetter。\"\"Christianpatienceandfortitude。\"\"Leavetheworldinpeace。\"\"Amen。\"
Therewassilenceforalittle;thenRose,seeinghowwanhelooked,saidsoftly,\"ShallIcallUnclenow?\"
\"Ifyouwill。Butfirstdon\'tsmileatmyfoolishness,dearI
wantmylittleheart。Theytookitoffpleasegiveitbackandletmekeepitalways,\"heansweredwiththeoldfondnessstrongasever,evenwhenhecouldshowitonlybyholdingfastthechildishtrinketwhichshefoundandhadgivenhimtheoldagateheartwiththefadedribbon。
\"Putiton,andneverletthemtakeitoff,\"hesaid,andwhensheaskediftherewasanythingelseshecoulddoforhim,hetriedtostretchouthisarmstoherwithalookwhichaskedformore。
Shekissedhimverytenderlyonlipsandforehead,triedtosay\"good—bye,\"
butcouldnotspeak,andgropedherwaytothedoor。Turningforalastlook,Charlie\'shopefulspiritroseforamoment,asifanxioustosendherawaymorecheerful,andhesaidwithashadowoftheoldblithesmile,afeebleattemptatthefamiliarfarewellgesture:\"Tilltomorrow,Rose。\"
AlasforCharlie!Histomorrownevercame,andwhenshesawhimnext,helaytherelookingsosereneandnoble,itseemedasifitmustbewellwithhim,forallthepainwaspast;temptationended;doubtandfear,hopeandlove,couldnomorestirhisquietheart,andinsolemntruthhehadgonetomeethisFather,andbeginagain。Chapter16。Chapter16。16GOODWORKSTheRajahwasdelayedawhile,andwhenitsailedpoorMrs。Clarawasonboard,foreverythingwasready。Allthoughtshehadbettergotocomfortherhusband,andsinceherboydiedsheseemedtocareverylittlewhatbecameofher。So,withfriendstocheerthelongvoyage,shesailedaway,aheavyheartedwoman,yetnotquitedisconsolate,forsheknewhermourningwasexcessivelybecomingandfeltsurethatStephenwouldnotfindheralteredbyhertrialsasmuchasmighthavebeenexpected。
Thennothingwasleftofthatgayhouseholdbuttheemptyrooms,silenceneverbrokenbyablithevoiceanymore,andpicturesfullofpromise,butallunfinished,likepoorCharlie\'slife。
TherewasmuchmourningforthebonnyPrince,butnoneedtotellofitexceptasitaffectedRose,foritiswithherwehavemosttodo,theothercharactersbeingofsecondaryimportance。
Whentimehadsoothedthefirstshockofsuddenloss,shewassurprisedtofindthememoryofhisfaultsandfailings,shortlifeandpiteousdeath,grewdim,asifakindlyhandhadwipedouttherecordandgivenhimbacktoherinthelikenessofthebrave,brightboyshehadloved,notasthewayward,passionateyoungmanwhohadlovedher。
Thiscomfortedherverymuch,andfoldingdownthelastblottedleafwherehisnamewaswritten,shegladlyturnedbacktoreopenandrereadthehappierchapterswhichpaintedtheyouthfulknightbeforehewentouttofallinhisfirstbattle。NoneofthebitternessoflovebereavedmarredthismemoryforRose,becauseshefoundthatthewarmersentiment,justbuddinginherheart,haddiedwithCharlieandlaycoldandquietinhisgrave。Shewondered,yetwasglad,thoughsometimesaremorsefulpangsmoteherwhenshediscoveredhowpossibleitwastogoonwithouthim,feelingalmostasifaburdenhadbeenliftedoff,sincehishappinesswastakenoutofherhands。Thetimehadnotyetcomewhentheknowledgethataman\'sheartwasinherkeepingwouldmaketheprideandjoyofherlife,andwhileshewaitedforthatmomentsheenjoyedthelibertysheseemedtohaverecovered。
Suchbeingherinwardstate,itmuchannoyedhertoberegardedasabrokenheartedgirlandpitiedforthelossofheryounglover。Shecouldnotexplaintoalltheworld,soletitpass,andoccupiedhermindwiththegoodworkswhichalwaysliereadytobetakenupandcarriedon。Havingchosenphilanthropyasherprofession,shefeltthatitwashightimetobeginthetasktoolongneglected。
Herprojectswereexcellent,butdidnotprosperasrapidlyasshehoped,for,havingtodealwithpeople,notthings,unexpectedobstacleswereconstantlyarising。The\"HomeforDecayedGentlewomen,\"astheboysinsistedoncallinghertwonewlyrepairedhouses,startedfinelyanditwasapleasantsighttoseethecomfortableroomsfilledwithrespectablewomenbusyattheirvarioustasks,surroundedbythedecenciesandmanyofthecomfortswhichmakelifeendurable。But,presently,Rosewasdisturbedtofindthatthegoodpeopleexpectedhertotakecareoftheminawayshehadnotbargainedfor。Buffum,heragent,wasconstantlyreportingcomplaints,newwants,andgeneraldiscontentiftheywerenotattendedto。Thingswereveryneglected,waterpipesfrozeandburst,drainsgotoutoforder,yardswereinamess,andrentsbehind—hand。Worstofall,outsiders,insteadofsympathizing,onlylaughedandsaid,\"Wetoldyouso,\"whichisamostdiscouragingremarktoolderandwiserworkersthanRose。
UncleAlec,however,stoodbyherstaunchlyandhelpedheroutofmanyofherwoesbygoodadviceandanoccasionalvisitofinspection,whichdidmuchtoimpressuponthedwellerstherethefactthat,iftheydidnotdotheirpart,theirleaseswouldbeshortones。
\"Ididn\'texpecttomakeanythingoutofit,butIdidthinktheywouldbegrateful,\"saidRoseononeoccasionwhenseveralcomplaintshadcomeinatonceandBuffumhadreportedgreatdifficultyincollectingthelowrents。
\"Ifyoudothisthingforthesakeofthegratitude,thenitisafailurebutifitisdonefortheloveofhelpingthosewhoneedhelp,itisasuccess,forinspiteoftheirworryeveryoneofthesewomenfeelwhatprivilegestheyenjoyandvaluethemhighly,\"saidDr。Alecastheywenthomeafteroneoftheseunsatisfactorycalls。
\"Thentheleasttheycandoistosay\'thankyou。\'I\'mafraidIhavethoughtmoreofthegratitudethanthework,butifthereisn\'tany,I
mustmakeupmymindtogowithout,\"answeredRose,feelingdefraudedofherdue。
\"Favorsoftenseparateinsteadofattractingpeoplenearertooneanother,andI\'veseenmanyafriendshipspoiltbytheobligationbeingallononeside。Can\'texplainit,butitisso,andI\'vecometotheconclusionthatitisashardtogiveintherightspiritasitistoreceive。Puzzleitout,mydear,whileyouarelearningtodogoodforitsownsake。\"