MAGISTRATE。Now，supposingwhatyousayandwhatyourhusbandsaysistrue，whatIhavetoconsideris——howdidheobtainaccesstothishouse，andwereyouinanywayapartytohisobtainingaccess？
Youarethecharwomanemployedatthehouse？
MRS。JONES。Yes，yourWorship，andofcourseifIhadlethimintothehouseitwouldhavebeenverywrongofme;andIhaveneverdonesuchathinginanyofthehouseswhereIhavebeenemployed。
MAGISTRATE。Well——soyousay。Nowletushearwhatstorythemaleprisonermakesofit。
JONES。[Wholeanswithhisarmsonthedockbehind，speaksinaslow，sullenvoice。]WotIsayiswotmywifesays。I’veneverbeen’adupinapolicecourtbefore，an’IcanproveItookitwheninliquor。Itoldher，andshecantellyouthesame，thatIwasgoin’tothrowthethingintothewatersoonerthen’aveitonmymind。
MAGISTRATE。ButhowdidyougetintotheHOUSE？
JONES。Iwaspassin’。Iwasgoin’’omefromthe\"GoatandBells。\"
MAGISTRATE。The\"GoatandBells，\"——whatisthat？Apublic—house？
JONES。Yes，atthecorner。ItwasBank’oliday，an’I’d’adadroptodrink。IseethisyoungMr。BARTHWICKtryin’tofindthekeyholeonthewrongsideofthedoor。
MAGISTRATE。Well？
JONES。[Slowlyandwithmanypauses。]Well———I’elped’imtofindit——drunkasalord’ewas。Hegoeson，an’comesbackagain，andsays，I’vegotnothin’foryou，’esays，butcomeinan’’aveadrink。SoIwentinjustasyoumight’avedoneyourself。We’adadrinko’whiskyjustasyoumighthave’ad，’ndyoungMr。BARTHWICK
saystome，\"Takeadrink’ndasmoke。Takeanythingyoulike，’esays。\"Andthenhewenttosleeponthesofa。I’adsomemorewhisky——an’I’adasmoke——andI’adsomemorewhisky——an’Icarn’ttellyerwhat’appenedafterthat。
MAGISTRATE。Doyoumeantosaythatyouweresodrunkthatyoucanremembernothing？
JACK。[Softlytohisfather。]Isay，that’sexactlywhat。
BARTHWICK。TSSh！
JONES。That’swhatIdomean。
MAGISTRATE。Andyetyousayyoustolethebox？
JONES。Ineverstolethebox。Itookit。
MAGISTRATE。[Hissingwithprotrudedneck。]Youdidnotstealit——
youtookit。Diditbelongtoyou——whatisthatbutstealing？
JONES。Itookit。
MAGISTRATE。Youtookit——youtookitawayfromtheirhouseandyoutookittoyourhouse。
JONES。[Sullenlybreakingin。]Iain’tgotahouse。
MAGISTRATE。Verywell，letushearwhatthisyoungmanMr。——Mr。
BARTHWICKhastosaytoyourstory。
[SNOWleavesthewitness—box。TheBALDCONSTABLEbeckonsJACK，who，clutchinghishat，goesintothewitness—box。ROPERmovestothetablesetapartforhisprofession。]
SWEARINGCLERK。Theevidenceyougivetothecourtshallbethetruth，thewholetruth，andnothingbutthetruth，sohelpyouGod。
Kissthebook。
[Thebookiskissed。]
ROPER。[Examining。]Whatisyourname？
JACK。[Inalowvoice。]JohnBARTHWICK，Junior。
[TheCLERKwritesitdown。]
ROPER。Wheredoyoulive？
JACK。At6，RockinghamGate。
[AllhisanswersarerecordedbytheClerk。]
ROPER。Youarethesonoftheowner？
JACK。[Inaverylowvoice。]Yes。
ROPER。Speakup，please。Doyouknowtheprisoners？
JACK。[LookingattheJONESES，inalowvoice。]I’veseenMrs。
Jones。I[inaloudvoice]don’tknowtheman。
JONES。Well，Iknowyou！
BALDCONSTABLE。HSSh！
ROPER。Now，didyoucomeinlateonthenightofEasterMonday？
JACK。Yes。
ROPER。Anddidyoubymistakeleaveyourlatchkeyinthedoor？
JACK。Yes。
MAGISTRATE。Oh！Youleftyourlatch—keyinthedoor？
ROPER。Andisthatallyoucanrememberaboutyourcomingin？
JACK。[Inaloudvoice。]Yes，itis。
MAGISTRATE。Now，youhaveheardthemaleprisoner’sstory，whatdoyousaytothat？
JACK。[TurningtotheMAGISTRATE，speakssuddenlyinaconfident，straight—forwardvoice。]Thefactofthematteris，sir，thatI’dbeenouttothetheatrethatnight，andhadsupperafterwards，andI
cameinlate。
MAGISTRATE。Doyourememberthismanbeingoutsidewhenyoucamein？
JACK。No，Sir。[Hehesitates。]Idon’tthinkIdo。
MAGISTRATE。[Somewhatpuzzled。]Well，didhehelpyoutoopenthedoor，ashesays？Didanyonehelpyoutoopenthedoor？
JACK。No，sir——Idon’tthinkso，sir——Idon’tknow。
MAGISTRATE。Youdon’tknow？Butyoumustknow。Itisn’tausualthingforyoutohavethedooropenedforyou，isit？
JACK。[Withashamefacedsmile。]No。
MAGISTRATE。Verywell，then。
JACK。[Desperately。]Thefactofthematteris，sir，I’mafraidI’dhadtoomuchchampagnethatnight。
MAGISTRATE。[Smiling。]Oh！you’dhadtoomuchchampagne？
JONES。MayIaskthegentlemanaquestion？
MAGISTRATE。Yes——yes——youmayaskhimwhatquestionsyoulike。
JONES。Don’tyourememberyousaidyouwasaLiberal，sameasyourfather，andyouaskedmewotIwas？
JACK。[Withhishandagainsthisbrow。]Iseemtoremember。
JONES。AndIsaidtoyou，\"I’mabloomin’Conservative，\"Isaid;
an’yousaidtome，\"Youlookmorelikeoneofthese’ereSocialists。Takewoteveryoulike，\"yousaid。
JACK。[Withsuddenresolution。]No，Idon’t。Idon’trememberanythingofthesort。
JONES。Well，Ido，an’myword’sasgoodasyours。I’veneverbeenhadupinapolicecourtbefore。Look’ere，don’tyourememberyouhadasky—bluebaginyour’and[BARTHWICKjumps。]
ROPER。Isubmittoyourworshipthatthesequestionsarehardlytothepoint，theprisonerhavingadmittedthathehimselfdoesnotrememberanything。[ThereisasmileonthefaceofJustice。]Itisacaseoftheblindleadingtheblind。
JONES。[Violently。]I’vedonenomorethanwothe’as。I’mapoorman;I’vegotnomoneyan’nofriends——he’satoff——hecandowotI
can’t。
MAGISTRATE:Now，now？Allthiswon’thelpyou——youmustbequiet。
Yousayyoutookthisbox？Now，whatmadeyoutakeit？Wereyoupressedformoney？
JONES。I’malwayspressedformoney。
MAGISTRATE。Wasthatthereasonyoutookit？
JONES。No。
MAGISTRATE。[ToSNOW。]Wasanythingfoundonhim？
SNOW。Yes，yourworship。Therewassixpoundstwelveshillin’sfoundonhim，andthispurse。
[TheredsilkpurseishandedtotheMAGISTRATE。BARTHWICK
riseshisseat，buthastilysitsdownagain。]
MAGISTRATE。[Staringatthepurse。]Yes，yes——letmesee[Thereisasilence。]No，no，I’venothingbeforemeastothepurse。Howdidyoucomebyallthatmoney？
JONES。[Afteralongpause，suddenly。]Ideclinestosay。
MAGISTRATE。Butifyouhadallthatmoney，whatmadeyoutakethisbox？
JONES。Itookitoutofspite。
MAGISTRATE。[Hissing，withprotrudedneck。]Youtookitoutofspite？Wellnow，that’ssomething！Butdoyouimagineyoucangoaboutthetowntakingthingsoutofspite？
JONES。Ifyouhadmylife，ifyou’dbeenoutofwork。
MAGISTRATE。Yes，yes;Iknow——becauseyou’reoutofworkyouthinkit’sanexcuseforeverything。
JONES。[PointingatJACK。]Youask’imwotmade’imtakethe。
ROPER。[Quietly。]DoesyourWorshiprequirethiswitnessintheboxanylonger？
MAGISTRATE。[Ironically。]Ithinknot;heishardlyprofitable。
[JACKleavesthewitness—box，andhanginghishead，resumeshisseat。]
JONES。Youask’imwotmade’imtakethelady’s。
[ButtheBALDCONSTABLEcatcheshimbythesleeve。]
BALDCONSTABLE。SSSh！
MAGISTRATE。[Emphatically。]Nowlistentome。
I’venothingtodowithwhathemayormaynothavetaken。Whydidyouresistthepoliceintheexecutionoftheirduty？
JONES。Itwarn’ttheirdutytotakemywife，arespectablewoman，that’adn’tdonenothing。
MAGISTRATE。ButIsayitwas。Whatmadeyoustriketheofficerablow？
JONES。Anymanwouldastruck’imablow。I’dstrike’imagain，I
would。
MAGISTRATE。Youarenotmakingyourcaseanybetterbyviolence。
Howdoyousupposewecouldgetonifeverybodybehavedlikeyou？
JONES。[Leaningforward，earnestly。]Well，wot，about’er;who’stomakeupto’erforthis？Who’stogive’erback’ergoodname？
MRS。JONES。YourWorship，it’sthechildrenthat’spreyingonhismind，becauseofcourseI’velostmywork。AndI’vehadtofindanotherroomowingtothescandal。
MAGISTRATE。Yes，yes，Iknow——butifhehadn’tactedlikethisnobodywouldhavesuffered。
JONES。[GlaringroundatJACK。]I’vedonenoworsethanwot’e’as。WotIwanttoknowiswot’sgoin’tobedoneto’im。
[TheBALDCONSTABLEagainsays\"HSSh\"]
ROPER。Mr。BARTHWICKwishesitknown，yourWorship，thatconsideringthepovertyoftheprisoners，hedoesnotpressthechargeastothebox。PerhapsyourWorshipwoulddealwiththecaseasoneofdisorder。
JONES。Idon’twantitsmotheredup，Iwantitalldealtwithfair—
—Iwantmyrights。
MAGISTRATE。[Rappinghisdesk。]Nowyouhavesaidallyouhavetosay，andyouwillbequiet。
[Thereisasilence;theMAGISTRATEbendsoverandparleyswithhisCLERK。]
Yes，IthinkImaydischargethewoman。[InakindlyvoiceheaddressesMRS。JONES，whostandsunmovingwithherhandscrossedontherail。]Itisveryunfortunateforyouthatthismanhasbehavedashehas。Itisnottheconsequencestohimbuttheconsequencestoyou。Youhavebeenbroughtheretwice，youhavelostyourwork——
[HeglaresatJONES]——andthisiswhatalwayshappens。Nowyoumaygoaway，andIamverysorryitwasnecessarytobringyouhereatall。
MRS。JONES。[Softly。]Thankyouverymuch，yourWorship。
[Sheleavesthedock，andlookingbackatJONES，twistsherfingersandisstill。]
MAGISTRATE。Yes，yes，butIcan’tpassitover。Goaway，there’sagoodwoman。
[MRS。JONESstandsback。TheMAGISTRATEleanshisheadonhishand;thenraisingithespeakstoJONES。]
Now，listentome。Doyouwishthecasetobesettledhere，ordoyouwishittogobeforeajury？
JONES。[Muttering。]Idon’twantnojury。
MAGISTRATE。Verywellthen，Iwilldealwithithere。[Afterapause。]Youhavepleadedguiltytostealingthisbox。
JONES。Nottostealin’。
BALDCONSTABLE。HSSShh！
MAGISTRATE。Andtoassaultingthepolice。
JONES。Anymanaswasaman。
MAGISTRATE。Yourconductherehasbeenmostimproper。Yougivetheexcusethatyouweredrunkwhenyoustolethebox。Itellyouthatisnoexcuse。Ifyouchoosetogetdrunkandbreakthelawafterwardsyoumusttaketheconsequences。Andletmetellyouthatmenlikeyou，whogetdrunkandgivewaytoyourspiteorwhateveritisthat’sinyou，are——are——anuisancetothecommunity。
JACK。[Leaningfromhisseat。Dad！that’swhatyousaidtome！
BARTHWICK。TSSt！
[Thereisasilence，whiletheMAGISTRATEconsultshisCLERK;
JONESleansforwardwaiting。]
MAGISTRATE。Thisisyourfirstoffence，andIamgoingtogiveyoualightsentence。[Speakingsharply，butwithoutexpression。]Onemonthwithhardlabour。
[Hebends，andparleyswithhisCLERK。TheBALDCONSTABLEandanotherhelpJONESfromthedock。]
JONES。[Stoppingandtwistinground。]Callthisjustice？Whatabout’im？’Egotdrunk！’Etookthepurse——’etookthepursebut[inamuffledshout]it’s’ismoneygot’imoff——JUSTICE！
[Theprisoner’sdoorisshutonJONES，andfromtheseedy—
lookingmenandwomencomesahoarseandwhisperinggroan。]
MAGISTRATE。Wewillnowadjournforlunch！[Herisesfromhisseat。]
[TheCourtisinastir。ROPERgetsupandspeakstothereporter。JACK，throwinguphishead，walkswithaswaggertothecorridor;BARTHWICKfollows。]
MRS。JONES。[Turningtohimzenithahumblegesture。]Oh！sir！
[BARTHWICKhesitates，thenyieldingtohisnerves，hemakesashame—facedgestureofrefusal，andhurriesoutofcourt。MRS。
JONESstandslookingafterhim。]
Thecurtainfalls。
