GEORGE[without]。——Oh，Isay！Arabella，lookhere:here’spapaa—kissingMissPrior！
LADYK。——Horace——Clarencemyson！ShadeofmyArabella！canyoubeholdthishorriblescene，andnotshudderinheaven！Bulkeley！
Clarence！goforadoctor——gotoDoctorStraitwaistattheAsylum——
HoraceMilliken，whohasmarriedthedescendantoftheKickleburysoftheConqueror，marryadancing—girloffthestage！HoraceMilliken！doyouwishtoseemedieinconvulsionsatyourfeet？I
writhethere，Igrovelthere。Look！lookatmeonmyknees！yourownmother—in—law！driveawaythisfiend！
MILLIKEN。——Hem！Ioughttothankyou，LadyKicklebury，foritisyouthathavegivenhertome。
LADYK。——Hewon’tlisten！heturnsawayandkissesherhorriblehand。Thiswillneverdo:helpmeup，Clarence，Imustgoandfetchhismother。Ah，ah！theresheis，theresheis！[LadyK。
rushesout，asthetopofabarouche，withMr。andMrs。BONNINGTON
andCoachman，isseenoverthegate。]
MRS。B。——WhatisthisIhear，myson，myson？Youaregoingtomarrya——astage—dancer？youaredrivingmemad，Horace！
MILLIKEN。——Givememysecondchance，mother，tobehappy。Youhavehadyourselftwochances。
MRS。B。——Speaktohim，Mr。Bonnington。[BONNINGTONmakesdumbshow。]
LADYK。——Implorehim，Mr。Bonnington。
MRS。B。——Pray，prayforhim，Mr。Bonnington，mylove——mylost，abandonedboy！
LADYK。——Oh，mypoordearMrs。Bonnington！
MRS。B。——Oh，mypoordearLadyKicklebury。[Theyembraceeachother。]
LADYK。——Ihavebeendownonmykneestohim，dearestMrs。
Bonnington。
MRS。B。——Letusboth——bothgodownonourknees——IWILL[toherhusband]。Edward，Iwill！[Bothladiesontheirknees。
BONNINGTONwithoutstretchedhandsbehindthem。]Look，unhappyboy！look，Horace！twomothersontheirwretchedkneesbeforeyou，imploringyoutosendawaythismonster！Speaktohim，Mr。
Bonnington。Edward！useauthoritywithhim，ifhewillnotlistentohismother——
LADYK。——Tohismothers！
EnterTOUCHIT。
TOUCHIT。——Whatisthiscomedygoingon，ladiesandgentlemen？Theladiesontheirelderlyknees——MissPriorwithherhairdownherback。Isittragedyorcomedy——isitarehearsalforacharade，orareweactingforHorace’sbirthday？or，oh！——IbegyourReverence’spardon——youwereperhapsgoingtoaprofessionalduty？
MR。B。——It’sWEwhoareprayingthischild，Touchit。Thischild，withwhomyouusedtocomehomefromWestminsterwhenyouwereboys。Youhaveinfluencewithhim;helistenstoyou。Entreathimtopauseinhismadness。
TOUCHIT。——Whatmadness？
MRS。B。——That——thatwoman——thatserpentyonder——that——thatdancing—
woman，whomyouintroducedtoArabellaMilliken，——ah！andIruetheday:——Horaceisgoingtomum——mum——marryher！
TOUCHIT。——Well！Ialwaysthoughthewould。EversinceIsawhimandherplayingatwhisttogether，whenIcamedownhereamonthago，Ithoughthewoulddoit。
MRS。B。——Oh，it’sthewhist，thewhist！WhydidIeverplayatwhist，Edward？MypoorMr。Millikenusedtolikehisrubber。
TOUCHIT。——Sincehehasbeenawidower——
LADYK。——Awidowerofthatangel！[Pointstopicture。]
TOUCHIT。——Pooh，pooh，angel！Youtwoladieshavenevergiventhepoorfellowanypeace。Youwerealwaysquarrellingoverhim。Youtookpossessionofhishouse，bulliedhisservants，spoiledhischildren;youdid，LadyKicklebury。
LADYK。——Sir，youarearude，low，presuming，vulgarman。
Clarence！beatthisrudeman！
TOUCHIT。——FromwhatIhaveheardofyouramiableson，heisnotinthewarlikeline，Ithink。MydearJulia，Iamdelightedwithallmyheartthatmyoldfriendshouldhavefoundawomanofsense，goodconduct，goodtemper——awomanwhohashadmanytrials，andbornethemwithgreatpatience——totakechargeofhimandmakehimhappy。Horace，givemeyourhand！IknewMissPrioringreatpoverty。Iamsureshewillbearasnoblyherpresentgoodfortune;forgoodfortuneitistoanywomantobecomethewifeofsuchaloyal，honest，kindlygentlemanasyouare！
EnterJOHN。
JOHN。——Ifyouplease，mylady——ifyouplease，sir——Bulkeley——
LADYK。——WhatofBulkeley，sir？
JOHN。——Hehaspackedhisthings，andCornetKicklebury’sthings，mylady。
MILLIKEN。——Letthefellowgo。
JOHN。——Hewon’tgo，sir，tillmyladyhavepaidhimhisbookandwages。Here’sthebook，sir。
LADYK。——Insolence！quitmypresence！AndI，Mr。Milliken，willquitahouse——
JOHN。——ShallIcallyourladyshipacarriage？
LADYK。——WhereIhavemetwithrudeness，cruelty，andfiendish[toMissP。，whosmilesandcurtsies]——yes，fiendishingratitude。I
willgo，Isay，assoonasIhavemadearrangementsfortakingotherlodgings。Youcannotexpectaladyoffashiontoturnoutlikeaservant。
JOHN。——Hirethe\"StarandGarter\"forher，sir。Senddowntothe\"Castle;\"anythingtogetridofher。I’lltellhermaidtopackhertraps。Pinhorn！[Beckonsmaidandgivesorders。]
TOUCHIT。——Youhadbettergoatonce，mydearLadyKicklebury。
LADYK。——Sir！
TOUCHIT。——THEOTHERMOTHER—IN—LAWISCOMING！Imetherontheroadwithallherfamily。He！he！he！[Screams。]
EnterMrs。PRIORandChildren。
MRS。P。——Mylady！Ihopeyourladyshipisquitewell！Dear，kindMrs。Bonnington！Icametopaymydutytoyou，ma’am。ThisisCharlotte，mylady——thegreatgirlwhomyourladyshipsokindlypromisedthegownfor;andthisismylittlegirl，Mrs。Bonnington，ma’am，please;andthisismyBluecoatboy。Goandspeaktodear，kindMr。Milliken——ourbestfriendandprotector——thesonandson—
in—lawofthesedearladies。Look，sir！Hehasbroughthiscopytoshowyou。[Boyshowscopy。]Ain’titcreditabletoaboyofhisage，CaptainTouchit？Andmybestandmostgratefulservicestoyou，sir。Julia，Julia，mydear，where’syourcapandspectacles，youstupidthing？You’veletyourhairdropdown。
What！what！——[Beginstobepuzzled。]
MRS。B。——Isthiscollusion，madam？
MRS。P。——Collusion，dearMrs。Bonnington！
LADYK。——Orinsolence，Mrs。Prior！
MRS。P。——Insolence，yourladyship！What——whatisit？whathashappened？What’sJulia’shairdownfor？Ah！you’venotsentthepoorgirlaway？thepoor，poorchild，andthepoor，poorchildren！
TOUCHIT。——Thatdancingatthe\"Coburg\"hascomeout，Mrs。Prior。
MRS。P。——Notthedarling’sfault。Itwastohelpherpoorfatherinprison。ItwasIwhoforcedhertodoit。Oh！don’t，don’t，dearLadyKicklebury，takethebreadoutofthemouthsofthesepoororphans！[Crying。]
MILLIKEN。——Enoughofthis，Mrs。Prior:yourdaughterisnotgoingaway。Juliahaspromisedtostaywithme——and——nevertoleaveme——
asgovernessnolonger，butaswifetome。
MRS。P。——Isit——isittrue，Julia？
MISSP。——Yes，mamma。
MRS。P。——Oh！oh！oh！[Flingsdownherumbrella，kissesJULIA，andrunningtoMILLIKEN，]Myson，myson！Comehere，children。Come，Adolphus，Amelia，Charlotte——kissyourdearbrother，children。
What，mydears！Howdoyoudo，dears？[toMILLIKEN’Schildren]。
Havetheyheardthenews？Anddoyouknowthatmydaughterisgoingtobeyourmamma？There——there——goandplaywithyourlittleunclesandaunts，that’sgoodchildren！[ShemotionsofftheChildren，whoretiretowardsgarden。Hermannerchangestooneofgreatpatronageandintensesatisfaction。]Mosthotweather，yourladyship，I’msure。Mr。Bonnington，youmustfindithotweatherforpreachin’！Lor’！there’sthatlittlewretchbeatin’Adolphus！
George，sir！havedone，sir！[Runstoseparatethem。]Howevershallwemakethosechildrenagree，Julia？
MISSP。——Theyhavebeenalittlespoiled，andIthinkMr。MillikenwillsendGeorgeandArabellatoschool，mamma:willyounot，Horace？
MR。MILLIKEN。——Ithinkschoolwillbetheverybestthingforthem。
MRS。P。——And[Mrs。P。whispers，pointingtoherownchildren]theblueroom，thegreenroom，theroomsoldLadyKickhas——plentyofroomforus，mydear！
MISSP。——No，mamma，Ithinkitwillbetoolargeaparty，——Mr。
Millikenhasoftensaidthathewouldliketogoabroad，andIhopethatnowhewillbeabletomakehistour。
MRS。P。——Oh，then！wecanliveinthehouse，youknow:what’stheuseofpayin’lodgin’，mydear？
MISSP。——Thehouseisgoingtobepainted。Youhadbestliveinyourownhouse，mamma;andifyouwantanything，Horace，Mr。
Milliken，Iamsure，willmakeitcomfortableforyou。Hehashadtoomanyvisitorsoflate，andwilllikeamorequietlife，I
think。Willyounot？
MILLIKEN。——IshalllikealifewithYOU，Julia。
JOHN。——Cab，sir，forherladyship！
LADYK。——Thisinstantletmego！Callmypeople。Clarence，yourarm！Bulkeley，Pinhorn！Mrs。Bonnington，Iwishyougood—morning！
Arabella，angel！[looksatpicture]Ileaveyou。Ishallcometoyouerelong。[Exit，refusingMILLIKEN’shand，passesupgarden，withherservantsfollowingher。MARYandotherservantsofthehousearecollectedtogether，whomLadyK。wavesoff。Bluecoatboyonwalleatingplums。Page，asshegoes，cries，Hurray，hurray！
Bluecoatboycries，Hurray！WhenLadyK。isgone，JOHNadvances。]
JOHN。——IthinkIheardyousay，sir，thatitwasyourintentiontogoabroad？
MILLIKEN。——Yes;oh，yes！Arewegoingabroad，myJulia？
MISSP。——Tosettlematters，tohavethehousepainted，andclear[pointingtochildren，mother，&c。]Don’tyouthinkitisthebestthingthatwecando？
MILLIKEN。——Surely，surely:wearegoingabroad。Howell，youwillcomewithusofcourse，andwithyourexperiencesyouwillmakeacapitalcourier。Won’tHowellmakeacapitalcourier，Julia？Goodhonestfellow，JohnHowell。Begyourpardonforbeingsorudetoyoujustnow。Butmytemperisveryhot，very。
JOHN[laughing]。——YouareaTartar，sir。Suchatyrant！isn’the，ma’am？
MISSP。——Well，no;Idon’tthinkyouhaveaverybadtemper，Mr。
Milliken，a——Horace。
JOHN。——Youmust——takecareofhim——alone，MissPrior——Julia——ImeanMrs。Milliken。ManandboyI’vewaitedonhimthisfifteenyear:
withtheexceptionofthattrialattheprinting—office，which——
whichIwon’ttalkofNOW，madam。Ineverknewhimangry;thoughmanyatimeIhaveknownhimprovoked。Ineverknewhimsayahardword，thoughsometimesperhapswe’vedeservedit。Notoften——suchagoodmasterasthatisprettysureofgettingagoodservant——
thatis，ifamanhasaheartinhisbosom;andthesethingsarefoundbothinandoutoflivery。Yes，Ihavebeenahonestservanttohim，——haven’tI，Mr。Milliken？
MILLIKEN。——Indeed，yes，John。
JOHN。——AndsohasMaryBarlow。Mary，mydear！[Marycomesforward。]Willyouallowmetointroduceyou，sir，tothefutur’
Mrs。Howell？——ifMr。BonningtondoesYOURlittlebusinessforyou，asIdaresay[turningtoMr。B。]，holdgov’nor，youwill！——Makeitupwithyourpoorson，Mrs。Bonnington，ma’am。Youhavetookasecond’elpmate，whyshouldn’tMasterHorace？[toMrs。B。]He——hewantssomebodytohelphim，andtakecareofhim，morethanyoudo。
TOUCHIT。——Youneverspokeatruerwordinyourlife，Howell。
JOHN。——It’smygeneral’abit，Capting，toindulgeinthemsortofstatements。AtruefriendIhavebeentomymaster，andatruefriendI’llremainwhenhe’smymasternomore。
MILLIKEN。——Why，John，youarenotgoingtoleaveme？
JOHN。——It’sbest，sir，Ishouldgo。I——I’mnotfittobeaservantinthishouseanylonger。Iwishtositinmyownlittlehome，withmyownlittlewifebymyside。Poordear！you’venoconversation，Mary，butyou’reagoodlittlesoul。We’vesavedahundredpoundapiece，andifwewantmore，Iknowwhowon’tgrudgeitus，agoodfellow——agoodmaster——forwhomI’vesavedmanyahundredpoundmyself，andwilltakethe\"MillikenArms\"atoldPigeoncot——andonceayearorso，atthishanniversary，wewillpayourrespectstoyou，sir，andmadam。Perhapswewillbringsomechildrenwithus，perhapswewillfindsomemoreinthisvilla。
Bless’embeforehand！Good—by，sir，andmadam——comeaway，Mary！
[going]。
MRS。P。[enteringwithclothes，&c。]——Shehasnotleftasinglethinginherroom。Amelia，comehere！thiscloakwilldocapitalforyou，andthis——thisgarmentistheverythingforAdolphus。
Oh，John！eh，Howell！willyoupleasetoseethatmychildrenhavesomethingtoeat，immediately！TheMillikenchildren，Isuppose，havedinedalready？
JOHN。——Yes，ma’am;certainly，ma’am。
MRS。P。——IseeheisinclinedtobeciviltomeNOW！
MISSP。——JohnHowellisabouttoleaveus，mamma。HeisengagedtoMaryBarlow，andwhenwegoaway，heisgoingtosetuphousekeepingforhimself。Good—by，andthankyou，JohnHowell[givesherhandtoJOHN，butwithgreatreserveofmanner]。Youhavebeenakindandtruefriendtous——ifeverwecanserveyou，countuponus——mayhenot，Mr。Milliken？
MILLIKEN。——Always，always。
MISSP。——Butyouwillstillwaituponus——uponMr。Milliken，foradayortwo，won’tyou，John，untilwe——untilMr。Millikenhasfoundsomeonetoreplaceyou。Hewillneverfindanyonemorehonestthanyou，andgood，kindlittleMary。Thankyou，Mary，foryourgoodnesstothepoorgoverness。
MARY。——Ohmiss！ohmum！[MissP。kissesMarypatronizingly]。
MISSP。[toJOHN]。——Andaftertheyhavehadsomerefreshment，getacabformybrothersandsister，ifyouplease，John。Don’tyouthinkthatwillbebest，my——mydear？
MILLIKEN。——Ofcourse，ofcourse，dearJulia！
MISSP。——And，CaptainTouchit，youwillstay，Ihope，anddinewithMr。Milliken？And，Mrs。Bonnington，ifyouwillreceiveasadaughteronewhohasalwayshadasincereregardforyou，Ithinkyouwillaidinmakingyoursonhappy，asIpromiseyouwithallmyheartandallmylifetoendeavortodo。[MissP。andM。gouptoMrs。BONNINGTON。]
MRS。BONNINGTON。——Well，there，then，sinceitmustbeso，blessyou，mychildren。
TOUCHIT。——Spokenlikeasensiblewoman！Andnow，asIdonotwishtointerruptthisfelicity，Iwillgoanddineatthe\"StarandGarter。\"
MISSP。——MydearCaptainTouchit，notforworlds！Don’tyouknowI
mustn’tbealonewithMr。Millikenuntil——until——？
MILLIKEN。——UntilIammadethehappiestmanalive！andyouwillcomedownandseeusoften，Touchit，won’tyou？Andwehopetoseeourfriendshereoften。Andwewillhavealittlelifeandspiritandgayetyintheplace。Oh，mother！oh，George！oh，Julia！whatacomfortitistometothinkthatIamreleasedfromthetyrannyofthatterriblemother—in—law！
MRS。PRIOR。——Comeintoyourteas，children。Comethismoment，I
say。[TheChildrenpassquarrellingbehindthecharacters，Mrs。
PRIORsummoningthem;JOHNandMARYstandingoneachsideofthedining—roomdoor，asthecurtainfalls。]
