BecauseItellyouthiswillyouthinkmesomelittlegirlwhocultivatesagarden—fullofillusions？You，whoarewittyandwise，haveyounotguessedthatwhenMademoiselled’Estereceivedyourpedanticlessonshesaidtoherself:\"No，dearpoet，myfirstletterwasnotthepebblewhichavagabondchildflingsaboutthehighwaytofrightentheowneroftheadjacentfruit—trees，butanetcarefullyandprudentlythrownbyafishermanseatedonarockabovethesea，hopingandexpectingamiraculousdraught。\"
Allthatyousaysobeautifullyaboutthefamilyhasmyapproval。
Themanwhoisabletopleaseme，andofwhomIbelievemyselfworthy，willhavemyheartandmylife，——withtheconsentofmyparents，forIwillneithergrievethem，nortakethemunawares:
happily，Iamcertainofreigningoverthem;and，besides，theyarewhollywithoutprejudice。Indeed，ineveryway，Ifeelmyselfprotectedagainstanydelusionsinmydream。Ihavebuiltthefortresswithmyownhands，andIhaveletitbefortifiedbytheboundlessdevotionofthosewhowatchovermeasifIwereatreasure，——notthatIamunabletodefendmyselfintheopen，ifneedbe;for，letmesay，circumstanceshavefurnishedmewitharmorofproofonwhichisengravedtheword\"Disdain。\"Ihavethedeepesthorrorofallthatiscalculating，——ofallthatisnotpure，disinterested，andwhollynoble。Iworshipthebeautiful，theideal，withoutbeingromantic;thoughIHAVEbeen，inmyheartofhearts，inmydreams。ButIrecognizethetruthofthevariousthings，justeventovulgarity，whichyouhavewrittenmeaboutSocietyandsociallife。
Forthetimebeingweare，andwecanonlybe，twofriends。Whyseekanunseenfriend？youask。Yourpersonmaybeunknowntome，butyourmind，yourheartIKNOW;theypleaseme，andIfeelaninfinitudeofthoughtswithinmysoulwhichneedamanofgeniusfortheirconfidant。Idonotwishthepoemofmyhearttobewasted;IwouldhaveitknowntoyouasitistoGod。Whatapreciousthingisatruecomrade，onetowhomwecantellall！Youwillsurelynotrejecttheunpublishedleafletsofayounggirl’sthoughtswhentheyflytoyouliketheprettyinsectsflutteringtothesun？Iamsureyouhaveneverbeforemetwiththisgoodfortuneofthesoul，——thehonestconfidencesofanhonestgirl。
Listentoherprattle;acceptthemusicthatshesingstoyouinherownheart。Later，ifoursoulsaresisters，ifourcharacterswarranttheattempt，awhite—hairedoldserving—manshallawaityoubythewaysideandleadyoutothecottage，thevilla，thecastle，thepalace——Idon’tknowyetwhatsortofboweritwillbe，norwhatitscolor，norwhetherthisconclusionwilleverbepossible;butyouwilladmit，willyounot？thatitispoetic，andthatMademoiselled’Estehasacomplyingdisposition。Hasshenotleftyoufree？HasshegonewithjealousfeettowatchyouinthesalonsofParis？Hassheimposeduponyouthelaborsofsomehighemprise，suchaspaladinssoughtvoluntarilyintheoldentime？
No，sheasksaperfectlyspiritualandmysticalliance。Cometomewhenyouareunhappy，wounded，weary。Tellmeall，hidenothing;I
havebalmsforallyourills。Iamtwentyyearsofage，dearfriend，butIhavethesenseoffifty，andunfortunatelyIhaveknownthroughtheexperienceofanotherallthehorrorsandthedelightsoflove。Iknowwhatbasenessthehumanheartcancontain，whatinfamy;yetImyselfamanhonestgirl。No，Ihavenoillusions;butIhavesomethingbetter，somethingreal，——Ihavebeliefsandareligion。See！Iopentheballofourconfidences。
WhoeverImarry——providedIchoosehimformyself——maysleepinpeaceorgototheEastIndiessurethathewillfindmeonhisreturnworkingatthetapestrywhichIbeganbeforeheleftme;
andineverystitchheshallreadaverseofthepoemofwhichhehasbeenthehero。Yes，Ihaveresolvedwithinmyheartnevertofollowmyhusbandwherehedoesnotwishmetogo。Iwillbethedivinityofhishearth。Thatismyreligionofhumanity。ButwhyshouldInottestandchoosethemantowhomIamtobelikethelifetothebody？Isamaneverimpededbylife？Whatcanthatwomanbewhothwartsthemansheloves？——anillness，adisease，notlife。Bylife，Imeanthatjoyoushealthwhichmakeseachhourapleasure。
Buttoreturntoyourletter，whichwillalwaysbeprecioustome。
Yes，jestingapart，itcontainsthatwhichIdesired，anexpressionofprosaicsentimentswhichareasnecessarytofamilylifeasairtothelungs;andwithoutwhichnohappinessispossible。Toactasanhonestman，tothinkasapoet，toloveaswomenlove，thatiswhatIlongedforinmyfriend，anditisnownolongerachimera。
Adieu，myfriend。Iampooratthismoment。ThatisoneofthereasonswhyIclingtomyconcealment，mymask，myimpregnablefortress。Ihavereadyourlastversesinthe\"Revue，\"——ah！withwhatdelight，nowthatIaminitiatedintheaustereloftinessofyoursecretsoul。
Willitmakeyouunhappytoknowthatayounggirlpraysforyou;
thatyouarehersolitarythought，——withoutarivalexceptinherfatherandmother？Cantherebeanyreasonwhyyoushouldrejectthesepagesfullofyou，writtenforyou，seenbynoeyebutyours？Sendmetheircounterpart。Iamsolittleofawomanyetthatyourconfidences——providedtheyarefullandtrue——willsufficeforthehappinessofyourO。d’EsteM。
\"Goodheavens！canIbeinlovealready？\"criedtheyoungsecretary，whenheperceivedthathehadheldtheaboveletterinhishandsmorethananhourafterreadingit。\"WhatshallIdo？Shethinkssheiswritingtothegreatpoet！CanIcontinuethedeception？Issheawomanofforty，oragirloftwenty？\"
Ernestwasnowfascinatedbythegreatgulfoftheunseen。Theunseenistheobscurityofinfinitude，andnothingismorealluring。Inthatsombrevastnessfiresflash，andfurrowandcolortheabysswithfancieslikethoseofMartin。ForabusymanlikeCanalis，anadventureofthiskindissweptawaylikeaharebellbyamountaintorrent，butinthemoreunoccupiedlifeoftheyoungsecretary，thischarminggirl，whomhisimaginationpersistentlyconnectedwiththeblondebeautyatthewindow，fasteneduponhisheart，anddidasmuchmischiefinhisregulatedlifeasafoxinapoultry—yard。LaBriereallowedhimselftobepreoccupiedbythismysteriouscorrespondent;
andheansweredherlastletterwithanother，apretentiousandcarefullystudiedepistle，inwhich，however，passionbeginstorevealitselfthroughpique。
Mademoiselle，——Isitquiteloyalinyoutoenthroneyourselfintheheartofapoorpoetwithalatentintentionofabandoninghimifheisnotexactlywhatyouwish，leavinghimtoendlessregrets，——showinghimforamomentanimageofperfection，wereitonlyassumed，andatanyrategivinghimaforetasteofhappiness？
Iwasveryshort—sightedinsolicitingthisletter，inwhichyouhavebeguntounfoldtheelegantfabricofyourthoughts。Amancaneasilybecomeenamoredwithamysteriousunknownwhocombinessuchfearlessnesswithsuchoriginality，somuchimaginationwithsomuchfeeling。Whowouldnotwishtoknowyouafterreadingyourfirstconfidence？Itrequiresastrongeffortonmyparttoretainmysensesinthinkingofyou，foryoucombineallthatcantroubletheheadortheheartofman。Ithereforemakethemostofthelittleself—possessionyouhaveleftmetoofferyoumyhumbleremonstrances。
Doyoureallybelieve，mademoiselle，thatletters，moreorlesstrueinrelationtothelifeofthewriters，moreorlessinsincere，——forthosewhichwewritetoeachotheraretheexpressionsofthemomentatwhichwepenthem，andnotofthegeneraltenorofourlives，——doyoubelieve，Isay，thatbeautifulastheymaybe，theycanatallreplacetherepresentationthatwecouldmakeofourselvestoeachotherbytherevelationsofdailyintercourse？Manisdual。Thereisalifeinvisible，thatoftheheart，towhichlettersmaysuffice;andthereisalifematerial，towhichmoreimportanceis，alas，attachedthanyouareawareofatyourage。Thesetwoexistencesmust，however，bemadetoharmonizeintheidealwhichyoucherish;andthis，Imayremarkinpassing，isveryrare。
Thepure，spontaneous，disinterestedhomageofasolitarysoulwhichisbotheducatedandchaste，isoneofthosecelestialflowerswhosecolorandfragranceconsoleforeverygrief，foreverywound，foreverybetrayalwhichmakesupthelifeofaliteraryman;andIthankyouwithanimpulseequaltoyourown。
Butafterthispoeticalexchangeofmygriefsforthepearlsofyourcharity，whatnext？whatdoyouexpect？IhaveneitherthegeniusnorthesplendidpositionofLordByron;aboveall，Ihavenotthehaloofhisfictitiousdamnationandhisfalsesocialwoes。Butwhatcouldyouhavehopedfromhiminlikecircumstances？Hisfriendship？Well，hewhooughttohavefeltonlypridewaseatenupbyvanityofeverykind，——sickly，irritablevanitywhichdiscouragedfriendship。I，athousand—foldmoreinsignificantthanhe，mayInothavediscordancesofcharacter，andmakefriendshipaburdenheavyindeedtobear？Inexchangeforyourreveries，whatwillyougain？Thedissatisfactionofalifewhichwillnotbewhollyyours。Thecompactismadness。Letmetellyouwhy。Inthefirstplace，yourprojectedpoemisaplagiarism。AyoungGermangirl，whowasnot，likeyou，semi—German，butaltogetherso，adoredGoethewiththerashintoxicationofgirlhood。Shemadehimherfriend，herreligion，hergod，knowingatthesametimethathewasmarried。
MadameGoethe，aworthyGermanwoman，lentherselftothisworshipwithaslygood—naturewhichdidnotcureBettina。Butwhatwastheendofitall？TheyoungecstaticmarriedamanwhowasyoungerandhandsomerthanGoethe。Now，betweenourselves，letusadmitthatayounggirlwhoshouldmakeherselfthehandmaidofamanofgenius，hisequalthroughcomprehension，andshouldpiouslyworshiphimtilldeath，likeoneofthosedivinefiguressketchedbythemastersontheshuttersoftheirmysticshrines，andwho，whenGermanylosthim，shouldhaveretiredtosomesolitudeawayfrommen，likethefriendofLordBolingbroke，——letusadmit，I
say，thattheyounggirlwouldhavelivedforever，inlaidinthegloryofthepoetasMaryMagdaleneinthecrossandtriumphofourLord。Ifthatissublime，whatsayyoutothereverseofthepicture？AsIamneitherGoethenorLordByron，thecolossiofpoetryandegotism，butsimplytheauthorofafewesteemedverses，Icannotexpectthehonorsofacult。NeitheramI
disposedtobeamartyr。Ihaveambition，andIhaveaheart;IamstillyoungandIhavemycareertomake。SeemeforwhatIam。
Thebountyofthekingandtheprotectionofhisministersgivemesufficientmeansofliving。Ihavetheoutwardbearingofaveryordinaryman。IgotothesoireesinParislikeanyotherempty—
headedfop;andifIdrive，thewheelsofmycarriagedonotrollonthesolidground，absolutelyindispensableinthesedays，ofpropertyinvestedinthefunds。ButifIamnotrich，neitherdoI
havethereliefsandconsolationsoflifeinagarret，thetoiluncomprehended，thefameinpenury，whichbelongtomenwhoareworthfarmorethanI，——D’Arthez，forinstance。
Ah！whatprosaicconclusionswillyouryoungenthusiasmfindtotheseenchantingvisions。Letusstophere。IfIhavehadthehappinessofseemingtoyouaterrestrialparagon，youhavebeentomeathingoflightandabeacon，likethosestarsthatshineforamomentanddisappear。Maynothingevertarnishthisepisodeofourlives。WerewetocontinueitImightloveyou;Imightconceiveoneofthosemadpassionswhichrendallobstacles，whichlightfiresintheheartwhoseviolenceisgreaterthantheirduration。AndsupposeIsucceededinpleasingyou？weshouldendourtaleinthecommonvulgarway，——marriage，ahousehold，children，BeliseandHenrietteChrysaletogether！——coulditbe？
Therefore，adieu。
CHAPTERX
THEMARRIAGEOFSOULS
ToMonsieurdeCanalis:
MyFriend，——Yourlettergivesmeasmuchpainaspleasure。Butperhapssomedayweshallfindnothingbutpleasureinwritingtoeachother。Understandmethoroughly。ThesoulspeakstoGodandaskshimformanythings;heismute。IseektoobtaininyoutheanswersthatGoddoesnotmaketome。CannotthefriendshipofMademoiselledeGournayandMontaigneberevivedinus？DoyounotrememberthehouseholdofSismondedeSismondiinGeneva？Themostlovelyhomeeverknown，asIhavebeentold;somethinglikethatoftheMarquisdePescaireandhiswife，——happytooldage。Ah！
friend，isitimpossiblethattwohearts，twoharps，shouldexistasinasymphony，answeringeachotherfromadistance，vibratingwithdeliciousmelodyinunison？Manaloneofallcreationisinhimselftheharp，themusician，andthelistener。Doyouthinktofindmeuneasyandjealouslikeordinarywomen？IknowthatyougointotheworldandmeetthehandsomestandthewittiestwomeninParis。MayInotsupposethatsomeoneofthosemermaidshasdeignedtoclaspyouinhercoldandscalyarms，andthatshehasinspiredtheanswerwhoseprosaicopinionssaddenme？ThereissomethinginlifemorebeautifulthanthegarlandsofParisiancoquetry;theregrowsaflowerfarupthoseAlpinepeakscalledmenofgenius，thegloryofhumanity，whichtheyfertilizewiththedewstheirloftyheadsdrawfromtheskies。Iseektocultivatethatflowerandmakeitbloom;foritswildyetgentlefragrancecanneverfail，——itiseternal。
Domethehonortobelievethatthereisnothingloworcommonplaceinme。WereIBettina，forIknowtowhomyouallude，IshouldneverhavebecomeMadamevonArnim;andhadIbeenoneofLordByron’smanyloves，Ishouldbeatthismomentinacloister。
Youhavetouchedmetothequick。Youdonotknowme，butyoushallknowme。Ifeelwithinmesomethingthatissublime，ofwhichIdarespeakwithoutvanity。GodhasputintomysoultherootsofthatAlpineflowerbornonthesummitsofwhichIspeak，andIcannotplantitinanearthenpotuponmywindow—sillandseeitdie。No，thatgloriousflower—cup，singleinitsbeauty，intoxicatinginitsfragrance，shallnotbedraggedthroughthevulgaritiesoflife！itisyours——yours，beforeanyeyehasblightedit，yoursforever！Yes，mypoet，toyoubelongmythoughts，——all，thosethataresecret，thosethataregayest;myheartisyourswithoutreserveandwithitsinfiniteaffection。Ifyoushouldpersonallynotpleaseme，Ishallnevermarry。Icanliveinthelifeoftheheart，Icanexistonyourmind，yoursentiments;theypleaseme，andIwillalwaysbewhatIam，yourfriend。Yoursisanoblemoralnature;Ihaverecognizedit，I
haveappreciatedit，andthatsufficesme。Inthatisallmyfuture。Donotlaughatayoungandprettyhandmaidenwhoshrinksnotfromthethoughtofbeingsomedaytheoldcompanionofapoet，——asortofmotherperhaps，orahousekeeper;theguideofhisjudgmentandasourceofhiswealth。Thishandmaiden——sodevoted，soprecioustothelivesofsuchasyou——isFriendship，pure，disinterestedfriendship，towhomyouwilltellall，wholistensandsometimesshakesherhead;whoknitsbythelightofthelampandwaitstobepresentwhenthepoetreturnshomesoakedwithrain，orvexedinmind。SuchshallbemydestinyifIdonotfindthatofahappywifeattachedforevertoherhusband;Ismilealikeatthethoughtofeitherfate。DoyoubelieveFrancewillbeanytheworseifMademoiselled’Estedoesnotgiveittwoorthreesons，andneverbecomesaMadameVilquin—something—or—other？Asforme，Ishallneverbeanoldmaid。Ishallmakemyselfamother，bytakingcareofothersandbymysecretco—operationintheexistenceofagreatman，towhomalsoIshallcarryallmythoughtsandallmyearthlyefforts。
Ihavethedeepesthorrorofcommonplaceness。IfIamfree，ifI
amrich（andIknowthatIamyoungandpretty），IwillneverbelongtoanyninnyjustbecauseheisthesonofapeerofFrance，nortoamerchantwhocouldruinhimselfandmeinaday，nortoahandsomecreaturewhowouldbeasortofwomaninthehousehold，nortoamanofanykindwhowouldmakemeblushtwentytimesadayforbeinghis。Makeyourselfeasyonthatpoint。Myfatheradoresmywishes;hewillneveropposethem。IfIpleasemypoet，andhepleasesme，thegloriousstructureofourloveshallbebuiltsohighastobeinaccessibletoanykindofmisfortune。
Iamaneaglet;andyouwillseeitinmyeyes。
IshallnotrepeatwhatIhavealreadysaid，butIwillputitssubstanceintheleastpossiblenumberofwords，andconfesstoyouthatIshouldbethehappiestofwomenifIwereimprisonedbyloveasIamnowimprisonedbythewishandwillofafather。Ah！
myfriend，maywebringtoarealendtheromancethathascometousthroughthefirstexerciseofmywill:listentoitsargument:——
Ayounggirlwithalivelyimagination，lockedupinatower，iswearywithlongingtorunlooseintheparkwherehereyesonlyareallowedtorove。Sheinventsawaytoloosenherbars;shejumpsfromthecasement;shescalestheparkwall;shefrolicsalongtheneighbor’ssward——itistheEverlastingcomedy。Well，thatyounggirlismysoul，theneighbor’sparkisyourgenius。Isitnotallverynatural？Wasthereeveraneighborthatdidnotcomplainthatunknownfeetbrokedownhistrellises？Ileaveittomypoettoanswer。
ButdoestheloftyreasonerafterthefashionofMolierewantstillbetterreasons？Well，heretheyare。MydearGeronte，marriagesareusuallymadeindefianceofcommon—sense。Parentsmakeinquiriesaboutayoungman。IftheLeander——whoissuppliedbysomefriend，orcaughtinaball—room——isnotathief，andhasnovisiblerentinhisreputation，ifhehasthenecessaryfortune，ifhecomesfromacollegeoralaw—schoolandsofulfilsthepopularideasofeducation，andifhewearshisclotheswithagentlemanlyair，heisallowedtomeettheyounglady，whosemotherhasorderedhertoguardhertongue，toletnosignofherheartorsoulappearonherface，whichmustwearthesmileofadanseusefinishingapirouette。Thesecommandsarecoupledwithinstructionsastothedangerofrevealingherrealcharacter，andtheadditionaladviceofnotseemingalarminglywelleducated。Ifthesettlementshaveallbeenagreedupon，theparentsaregood—
naturedenoughtoletthepairseeeachotherforafewmoments;
theyareallowedtotalkorwalktogether，butalwayswithouttheslightestfreedom，andknowingthattheyareboundbyrigidrules。
Themanisasmuchdressedupinsoulasheisinbody，andsoistheyounggirl。Thispitiablecomedy，mixedwithbouquets，jewels，andtheatre—partiesiscalled\"payingyouraddresses。\"Itrevoltsme:Idesirethatactualmarriageshallbetheresultofapreviousandlongmarriageofsouls。Ayounggirl，awoman，hasthroughoutherlifeonlythisonemomentwhenreflection，secondsight，andexperiencearenecessarytoher。Sheplaysherliberty，herhappiness，andsheisnotallowedtothrowthedice;sherisksherall，andisforcedtobeamerespectator。Ihavetheright，thewill，thepowertomakemyownunhappiness，andIusethem，asdidmymother，who，wonbybeautyandledbyinstinct，marriedthemostgenerous，themostliberal，themostlovingofmen。Iknowthatyouarefree，apoet，andnoble—looking。BesurethatI
shouldnothavechosenoneofyourbrothersinApollowhowasalreadymarried。Ifmymotherwaswonbybeauty，whichisperhapsthespiritofform，whyshouldInotbeattractedbythespiritandtheformunited？ShallInotknowyoubetterbystudyingyouinthiscorrespondencethanIcouldthroughthevulgarexperienceof\"receivingyouraddresses\"？Thisisthequestion，asHamletsays。
Butmyproceedings，dearChrysale，haveatleastthemeritofnotbindinguspersonally。Iknowthatlovehasitsillusions，andeveryillusionitsto—morrow。Thatiswhytherearesomanypartingsamongloversvowedtoeachotherforlife。Theproofofloveliesintwothings，——sufferingandhappiness。When，afterpassingthroughthesedoubletrialsoflifetwobeingshaveshowneachothertheirdefectsaswellastheirgoodqualities，whentheyhavereallyobservedeachother’scharacter，thentheymaygototheirgravehandinhand。MydearArgante，whotoldyouthatourlittledramathusbegunwastohavenofuture？Inanycaseshallwenothaveenjoyedthepleasuresofourcorrespondence？
Iawaityourorders，monseigneur，andIamwithallmyheart，Yourhandmaiden，O。d’EsteM。
ToMademoiselleO。d’EsteM。，——Youareawitch，aspirit，andI
loveyou！Isthatwhatyoudesireofme，mostoriginalofgirls？
Perhapsyouareonlyseekingtoamuseyourprovincialleisurewiththefollieswhichareyouabletomakeapoetcommit。Ifso，youhavedoneabaddeed。YourtwolettershaveenoughofthespiritofmischiefinthemtoforcethisdoubtintothemindofaParisian。ButIamnolongermasterofmyself;mylife，myfuturedependontheansweryouwillmakeme。Tellmeifthecertaintyofanunboundedaffection，obliviousofallsocialconventions，willtouchyou，——ifyouwillsuffermetoseekyou。ThereisanxietyenoughanduncertaintyenoughinthequestionastowhetherIcanpersonallypleaseyou。IfyourreplyisfavorableIchangemylife，Ibidadieutoalltheirksomepleasureswhichwehavethefollytocallhappiness。Happiness，mydearandbeautifulunknown，iswhatyoudreamittobe，——afusionoffeelings，aperfectaccordanceofsouls，theimprintofanobleideal（suchasGoddoespermitustoforminthislowworld）uponthetrivialroundofdailylifewhosehabitswemustneedsobey，aconstancyofheartmorepreciousfarthanwhatwecallfidelity。Canwesaythatwemakesacrificeswhentheendinviewisoureternalgood，thedreamofpoets，thedreamofmaidens，thepoemwhich，attheentranceoflifewhenthoughtessaysitswings，eachnobleintellecthasponderedandcaressedonlytoseeitshiveredtofragmentsonsomestoneofstumblingashardasitisvulgar？——fortothegreatmajorityofmen，thefootofrealitystepsinstantlyonthatmysteriouseggsoseldomhatched。
Icannotspeaktoyouanymoreofmyself;notofmypastlife，norofmycharacter，norofanaffectionalmostmaternalononeside，filialonmine，whichyouhavealreadyseriouslychanged——aneffectuponmylifewhichmustexplainmyuseoftheword\"sacrifice。\"Youhavealreadyrenderedmeforgetful，ifnotungrateful;doesthatsatisfyyou？Oh，speak！Saytomeoneword，andIwillloveyoutillmyeyescloseindeath，astheMarquisdePescairelovedhiswife，asRomeolovedJuliet，andfaithfully。
Ourlifewillbe，formeatleast，that\"felicityuntroubled\"
whichDantemadetheveryelementofhisParadiso，——apoemfarsuperiortohisInferno。Strange，itisnotmyselfthatIdoubtinthelongreveriethroughwhich，likeyou，Ifollowthewindingsofadreamedexistence;itisyou。Yes，dear，Ifeelwithinmethepowertolove，andtoloveendlessly，——tomarchtothegravewithgentleslownessandasmilingeye，withmybelovedonmyarm，andwithneveraclouduponthesunshineofoursouls。Yes，Idaretofaceourmutualoldage，toseeourselveswithwhiteningheads，likethevenerablehistorianofItaly，inspiredalwayswiththesameaffectionbuttransformedinsoulbyourlife’sseasons。Hearme，Icannolongerbeyourfriendonly。ThoughChrysale，Geronte，andArgantere—live，yousay，inme，Iamnotyetoldenoughtodrinkfromthecupheldtomylipsbythesweethandsofaveiledwomanwithoutapassionatedesiretotearoffthedominoandthemaskandseetheface。Eitherwritemenomore，orgivemehope。
Letmeseeyou，orletmego。MustIbidyouadieu？Willyoupermitmetosignmyself，YourFriend？
ToMonsieurdeCanalis，——Whatflattery！withwhatrapidityisthegraveAnselmetransformedintoahandsomeLeander！TowhatmustI
attributesuchachange？tothisblackwhichIputuponthiswhite？totheseideaswhicharetotheflowersofmysoulwhatarosedrawnincharcoalistotherosesinthegarden？Orisittoarecollectionoftheyounggirlwhomyoutookforme，andwhoispersonallyaslikemeasawaiting—womanislikehermistress？
Havewechangedroles？HaveIthesense？haveyouthefancy？Butatrucewithjesting。
Yourletterhasmademeknowtheelatingpleasuresofthesoul;
thefirstthatIhaveknownoutsideofmyfamilyaffections。What，saysapoet，arethetiesofbloodwhicharesostronginordinaryminds，comparedtothosedivinelyforgedwithinusbymysterioussympathies？Letmethankyou——no，wemustnotthankeachotherforsuchthings——butGodblessyouforthehappinessyouhavegivenme;behappyinthejoyyouhaveshedintomysoul。Youexplaintomesomeoftheapparentinjusticesinsociallife。Thereissomething，Iknownotwhat，sodazzling，sovirileinglory，thatitbelongsonlytoman;Godforbidsuswomentowearitshalo，buthemakesloveourportion，givingusthetendernesswhichsoothesthebrowscorchedbyhislightnings。Ihavefeltmymission，andyouhavenowconfirmedit。
Sometimes，myfriend，Iriseinthemorninginastateofinexpressiblesweetness;asortofpeace，tenderanddivine，givesmeanideaofheaven。Myfirstthoughtisthenlikeabenediction。
IcallthesemorningsmylittleGermanwakings，inoppositiontomySouthernsunsets，fullofheroicdeeds，battles，Romanfetesandardentpoems。Well，afterreadingyourletter，sofulloffeverishimpatience，Ifeltinmyheartallthefreshnessofmycelestialwakings，whenIlovetheairaboutmeandallnature，andfancythatIamdestinedtodieforoneIlove。Oneofyourpoems，\"TheMaiden’sSong，\"paintsthesedeliciousmoments，whengaietyistender，whenaspirationisaneed;itisoneofmyfavorites。Doyouwantmetoputallmyflatteriesintoone？——wellthen，IthinkyouworthytobeME！
Yourletter，thoughshort，enablesmetoreadwithinyou。Yes，I
haveguessedyourtumultuousstruggles，yourpiquedcuriosity，yourprojects;butIdonotyetknowyouwellenoughtosatisfyyourwishes。Hearme，dear;themysteryinwhichIamshroudedallowsmetousethatword，whichletsyouseetothebottomofmyheart。Hearme:ifweoncemeet，adieutoourmutualcomprehension！Willyoumakeacompactwithme？Wasthefirstdisadvantageoustoyou？Butrememberitwonyoumyesteem，anditisagreatdeal，myfriend，togainanadmirationlinedthroughoutwithesteem。Hereisthecompact:writemeyourlifeinafewwords;thentellmewhatyoudoinParis，daybyday，withnoreservations，andasifyouweretalkingtosomeoldfriend。Well，havingdonethat，Iwilltakeastepmyself——Iwillseeyou，I
promiseyouthat。Anditisagreatdeal。
This，dear，isnointrigue，noadventure;nogallantry，asyoumensay，cancomeofit，Iwarnyoufrankly。Itinvolvesmylife，andmorethanthat，——somethingthatcausesmeremorseforthemanythoughtsthatflytoyouinflocks——itinvolvesmyfather’sandmymother’slife。Iadorethem，andmychoicemustpleasethem;theymustfindasoninyou。
Tellme，towhatextentcanthesuperbspiritsofyourkind，towhomGodhasgiventhewingsofhisangels，withoutalwaysaddingtheiramiability，——howfarcantheybendunderafamilyyoke，andputupwithitslittlemiseries？ThatisatextIhavemeditatedupon。Ah！thoughIsaidtomyheartbeforeIcametoyou，Forward！
Onward！itdidnottrembleandpalpitateanythelessontheway;
andIdidnotconcealfrommyselfthestoninessofthepathnortheAlpinedifficultiesIhadtoencounter。Ithoughtofallinmylong，longmeditations。DoInotknowthateminentmenlikeyouhaveknownthelovetheyhaveinspiredquiteaswellasthatwhichtheythemselveshavefelt;thattheyhavehadmanyromancesintheirlives，——youparticularly，whosendforththoseairyvisionsofyoursoulthatwomenrushtobuy？YetstillIcriedtomyself，\"Onward！\"becauseIhavestudied，morethanyougivemecreditfor，thegeographyofthegreatsummitsofhumanity，whichyoutellmearesocold。DidyounotsaythatGoetheandByronwerethecolossiofegoismandpoetry？Ah，myfriend，thereyousharedamistakeintowhichsuperficialmindsareapttofall;butinyouperhapsitcamefromgenerosity，falsemodesty，orthedesiretoescapefromme。Vulgarmindsmaymistaketheeffectoftoilforthedevelopmentofpersonalcharacter，butyoumustnot。NeitherLordByron，norGoethe，norWalterScott，norCuvier，noranyinventor，belongstohimself，heistheslaveofhisidea。Andthismysteriouspowerismorejealousthanawoman;itsuckstheirblood，itmakesthemlive，itmakesthemdieforitssake。Thevisibledevelopmentsoftheirhiddenexistencedoseem，intheirresults，likeegotism;butwhoshalldaretosaythatthemanwhohasabnegatedselftogivepleasure，instruction，orgrandeurtohisepoch，isanegoist？Isamotherselfishwhensheimmolatesallthingstoherchild？Well，thedetractorsofgeniusdonotperceiveitsfecundmaternity，thatisall。Thelifeofapoetissoperpetualasacrificethatheneedsagiganticorganizationtobeareventheordinarypleasuresoflife。Therefore，intowhatsorrowsmayhenotfallwhen，likeMoliere，hewishestolivethelifeoffeelinginitsmostpoignantcrises;tome，rememberinghispersonallife，Moliere’scomedyishorrible。
Thegenerosityofgeniusseemstomehalfdivine;andIplaceyouinthisnoblefamilyofallegedegoists。Ah！ifIhadfoundself—
interest，ambition，asearednaturewhereInowcanseemybestlovedflowersofthesoul，youknownotwhatlonganguishIshouldhavehadtobear。ImetwithdisappointmentbeforeIwassixteen。
WhatwouldhavebecomeofmehadIlearnedattwentythatfameisalie，thathewhosebooksexpressthefeelingshiddeninmyheartwasincapableoffeelingthemhimself？Oh！myfriend，doyouknowwhatwouldhavebecomeofme？ShallItakeyouintotherecessesofmysoul？Ishouldhavegonetomyfatherandsaid，\"Bringmetheson—in—lawwhomyoudesire;mywillabdicates，——marrymetowhomyouplease。\"Andthemanmighthavebeenanotary，banker，miser，fool，dullard，wearisomeasarainyday，commonastheusherofaschool，amanufacturer，orsomebravesoldierwithouttwoideas，——hewouldhavehadaresignedandattentiveservantinme。Butwhatanawfulsuicide！nevercouldmysoulhaveexpandedinthelife—givingraysofabelovedsun。Nomurmurshouldhaverevealedtomyfather，ormymother，ormychildrenthesuicideofthecreaturewhoatthisinstantisshakingherfetters，castinglightningsfromhereyes，andflyingtowardsyouwitheagerwing。
See，sheisthere，attheangleofyourdesk，likePolyhymnia，breathingtheairofyourpresence，andglancingaboutherwithacuriouseye。Sometimesinthefieldswheremyhusbandwouldhavetakenmetowalk，Ishouldhavewept，apartandsecretly，atsightofagloriousmorning;andinmyheart，orhiddeninabureau—
