第4章

类别:其他 作者:Galsworthy, John字数:11203更新时间:18/12/18 13:58:46
Everycarriagewindowwasfullofthosebrownfiguresandred—brownfaces,handswerewavingvaguely,voicescallingvaguely,hereandthereonecheered;someoneleaningfaroutstartedtosing:\"Ifauldacquaintance——\"ButNoelstoodquitestillintheshadowofthemilk—cans,herlipsdrawnin,herhandshardclenchedinfrontofher;andyoungMorlandathiswindowgazedbackather。 2 HowshecametobesittinginTrafalgarSquareshedidnotknow。 Tearshadformedamistbetweenherandallthatseething,summer— eveningcrowd。Hereyesmechanicallyfollowedthewanderingsearch— lights,thosenewmilkyways,quarteringtheheavensandleadingnowhere。Allwaswonderfullybeautiful,theskyadeepdarkblue,themoonlightwhiteningthespireofSt。Martin’s,andeverywhereendowingthegreatblacked—outbuildingswithdream—life。Eventhelionshadcometolife,andstaredoutoverthismoonlitdesertoflittlehumanfigurestoosmalltobeworththestretchingoutofapaw。Shesatthere,achingdreadfully,asifthelongingofeverybereavedheartinallthetownhadsettledinher。Shefeltittonightathousandtimesworse;forlastnightshehadbeendruggedonthenewsensationoflovetriumphantlyfulfilled。Nowshefeltasiflifehadplacedherinthecornerofahugesilentroom,blownouttheflameofjoy,andlockedthedoor。Alittledrysobcamefromher。Thehay—fieldsandCyril,withshirtunbuttonedattheneck,pitchinghayandgazingatherwhileshedabbledherforkinthethinleavings。Thebrightriver,andtheirboatgroundedontheshallows,andtheswallowsflittingoverthem。Andthatlongdance,withthefeelofhishandbetweenhershoulder—blades!Memoriessosweetandsharpthatshealmostcriedout。ShesawagaintheirdarkgrassycourtyardintheAbbey,andthewhiteowlflyingoverthem。Thewhiteowl!Flyingthereagainto—night,withnoloversonthegrassbelow!ShecouldonlypictureCyrilnowasabrownatominthatswirlingbrownfloodofmen,flowingtoahugebrownsea。Thosecruelminutesontheplatform,whenshehadsearchedandsearchedthewalkingwoodforher,onetree,seemedtohaveburnedthemselvesintohereyes。Cyrilwaslost,shecouldnotsinglehimout,allblurredamongthosethousandothershapes。Andsuddenlyshethought:’AndI ——I’mlosttohim;he’sneverseenmeathome,neverseenmeinLondon;hewon’tbeabletoimagineme。It’sallinthepast,onlythepast——forbothofus。Isthereanybodysounhappy?’Andthetown’svoices—wheels,andpassingfeet,whistles,talk,laughter— seemedtoanswercallously:’Notone。’Shelookedatherwrist— watch;likehis,ithadluminoushands:’Half—pastten’wasgreenishlyimprintedthere。Shegotupindismay。Theywouldthinkshewaslost,orrunover,orsomethingsilly!Shecouldnotfindanemptytaxi,andbegantowalk,uncertainofherwayatnight。Atlastshestoppedapoliceman,andsaid: \"WhichisthewaytowardsBloomsbury,please?Ican’tfindataxi。\" Themanlookedather,andtooktimetothinkitover;thenhesaid: \"They’relinin’upforthetheatres,\"andlookedatheragain。 Somethingseemedtomoveinhismechanism: \"I’mgoin’thatway,miss。Ifyoulike,youcanstepalongwithme。\" Noelsteppedalong。 \"Thestreetsaren’twhattheyoughttobe,\"thepolicemansaid。 \"Whatwiththedarkness,andthewarturningthegirlsheads——you’dbesurprisedthenumberofthemthatcomesout。It’sthesoldiers,ofcourse。\" Noelfelthercheeksburning。 \"Idaresayyouwouldn’thavenoticedit,\"thepolicemanwenton:\"butthiswar’safunnything。ThestreetsaregayerandmorecrowdedatnightthanI’veeverseenthem;it’safairpicnicallthetime。 Whatwe’regoin’tosettledowntowhenpeacecomes,Idon’tknow。I supposeyoufinditquietenoughupyourway,miss?\" \"Yes,\"saidNoel;\"quitequiet。\" \"NosoldiersupinBloomsbury。YougotanyoneintheArmy,miss?\" Noelnodded。 \"Ah!It’sanxioustimesforladies。WhatwiththeZeps,andtheirbrothersandallinFrance,it’s’arassin’。I’velostabrothermeself,andI’vegotaboyoutthereintheGardenofEden;hismothercarriesondreadfulabouthim。Whatweshallthinkofitwhenit’sallover,Ican’ttell。TheseHunsareawickedtoughlot!\" Noellookedathim;atallman,regularandorderly,withoneofthoseperfectlydecentfacessooftenseenintheLondonpolice。 \"I’msorryyou’velostsomeone,\"shesaid。\"Ihaven’tlostanyoneverynear,yet。\" \"Well,let’s’opeyouwon’t,miss。Thesetimesmakeyoufeelforothers,an’that’ssomething。I’venoticedagreatchangeinfolksyou’dneverthinkwouldfeelforanyone。AndyetI’veseensomewickedthingstoo;wedo,inthepolice。SomeoftheseEnglishwivesofaliens,and’armlesslittleGermanbakers,an’Austrians,andwhat—not:theygetacrooltime。It’stheirmisfortune,nottheirfault,that’swhatIthink;andthewaytheygetserved——well,itmakesyouashamedo’bein’Englishsometimes——itdoesstraight:Andthewomenaretheworst。Isaidtomywifeonlylastnight,Isaid: ’TheycallthemselvesChristians,’Isaid,’butforallthecharitythat’sin’emtheymightaswellbeHuns。’Shecouldn’tseeit—notshe!’Well,whydotheydropbombs?’shesays。’What!’Isaid,’thoseEnglishwivesandbakersdropbombs?Don’tbesilly,’Isaid。 ’They’reasinnocentaswe。’It’stheinnocentthatgetspunishedfortheguilty。’Butthey’reallspies,’shesays。’Oh!’Isaid,’oldlady!Nowreally!Atyourtimeoflife!’Butthereitis;youcan’tgetawomantoseereason。It’sreadin’thepapers。Ioftenthinktheymustbewrittenbywomen——beggin’yourpardon,miss——butreely,the’ystericsandthe’atred——they’reafairknockout。D’youfindmuchhatredinyourhousehold,miss?\" Noelshookherhead。\"No;myfather’saclergyman,yousee。\" \"Ah!\"saidthepoliceman。Andintheglancehebestowedonhercouldbeseenanaddedrespect。 \"Ofcourse,\"hewenton,\"you’reboundtohaveasenseofjusticeagainsttheseHuns;someoftheirwaysofgoin’onhavebeenabovethelimit。ButwhatIalwaysthinkis——ofcourseIdon’tsaythesethings——nousetomakeyourselfunpopular——buttomeselfIoftenthink:Take’emmanforman,andyou’dfind’emmuchthesameasweare,Idaresay。It’stheviciouswaythey’rebroughtup,ofactin’ inthemass,that’smade’emsuchacroollot。Iseeagoodbitofcrowdsinmyprofession,andI’veaverylowopinionofthem。Crowdsarethemostblunderin’blightedthingsthateverwas。They’relikeanangrywomanwithabandageoverhereyes,an’youcan’thaveanythingmoredangerousthanthat。TheseGermans,itseems,arealwaysinacrowd。Theygetastateo’mindreadouttothembyBillKaserandallthatbloody—mindedlot,an’theyneverstoptothinkforthemselves。\" \"Isupposethey’dbeshotiftheydid,\"saidNoel。 \"Well,thereisthat,\"saidthepolicemanreflectively。\"They’vebroughtdisciplinetoan’ighpitch,nodoubt。An’ifyouaskme,\"—— heloweredhisvoicetillitwasalmostlostinhischin—strap,\"we’llberunnin’’emagoodsecond’ere,beforelong。Thethingswe’avetoprotectnowaregettin’beyondajoke。There’stheCityagainstlights,there’sthestreetsagainstdarkness,there’sthealiens,there’sthealiens’shops,there’stheBelgians,there’stheBritishwives,there’sthesoldiersagainstthewomen,there’sthewomenagainstthesoldiers,there’sthePeaceParty,there’s’orsesagainstcroolty,there’saCabinetMinistereverynowan’then;andnowwe’vegottheseConchies。And,mindyou,theyhaven’traisedourpay;nowarwagesinthepolice。SofarasIcansee,there’sonlyonegoodresultofthewar——theburglariesareoff。Butthereagain,youwaitabitandseeifwedon’thaveaprizecropof’m,ormyname’snot’Arris。\" \"Youmusthaveanawfullyexcitinglife!\"saidNoel。 Thepolicemanlookeddownathersideways,withoutloweringhisface,asonlyapolicemancan,andsaidindulgently: \"We’reusedtoit,yousee;there’snoexcitementinwhatyou’reusedto。Theyfindthatinthetrenches,I’mtold。Takeourseamen—— there’slotsof’embeenblownupoverandoveragain,andtheretheygoandsignonagainnextday。That’swheretheGermansmaketheirmistake!Englandinwar—time!Ithinkalot,youknow,onmygo; youcan’t’elpit——themindwillwork——an’themoreIthink,themoreIseethefightin’spiritinthepeople。Wedon’tmakeafussaboutitlikeBillKaser。Butyouwatchalittleshopman,oneo’thosefellowswho’shadhishousebombed;youwatchthewayhelooksatthemess——sortofdisgusted。Youwatchhisface,andyouseehe’sgothisteethintoit。YouwatchoneofourTommieson’iscrutches,withthesweatpourin’offhisforeheadan’’iseyesallstrainy,stumpin’along——thatgivesyouanidea!IpitythesePeacefellows,reelyIpitythem;theydon’tknowwhatthey’reupagainst。Iexpectthere’stimeswhenyouwishyouwasaman,don’tyou,miss?I’msurethere’stimeswhenIfeelI’dliketogointhetrenches。That’stheworsto’myjob;youcan’tbeahumanbein’——notinthefullsenseoftheword。Youmustn’tletyourpassionsrise,youmustn’tdrink,youmustn’ttalk;it’sanarrowwalko’life。Well,hereyouare,miss; yourSquare’sthenextturnin’totheright。Goodnightandthankyouforyourconversation。\" Noelheldoutherhand。\"Goodnight!\"shesaid。 Thepolicemantookherhandwithaqueer,flatteredembarrassment。 \"Goodnight,miss,\"hesaidagain。\"Iseeyou’vegotatrouble;andI’msureIhopeit’llturnoutforthebest。\" Noelgavehishugehandasqueeze;hereyeshadfilledwithtears,andsheturnedquicklyuptowardstheSquare,whereadarkfigurewascomingtowardsher,inwhomsherecognisedherfather。Hisfacewaswornandharassed;hewalkedirresolutely,likeamanwhohaslostsomething。 \"Nollie!\"hesaid。\"ThankGod!\"Inhisvoicewasaninfiniterelief。\"Mychild,wherehaveyoubeen?\" \"It’sallright,Daddy。Cyrilhasjustgonetothefront。I’vebeenseeinghimofffromCharingCross。\" Piersonslippedhisarmroundher。Theyenteredthehousewithoutspeaking…… 3 Bytherailofhistransport,asfar——abouttwofeet——ashecouldgetfromanyone,CyrilMorlandstoodwatchingCalais,adreamcity,brightenoutoftheheatandgrowsolid。Hecouldhearthegunsalready,thevoiceofhisnewlife—talkinginthedistance。Itcamewithitsstrangeexcitementintoabeingheldbysoftandmarvellousmemories,byonelongvisionofNoelandthemoonlitgrass,underthedarkAbbeywall。Thismomentofpassagefromwondertowonderwasquitetoomuchforaboyunusedtointrospection,andhestoodstaringstupidlyatCalais,whilethethunderofhisnewlifecamerollinginonthatpassionatemoonlitdream。 VII AftertheemotionsofthoselastthreedaysPiersonwokewiththefeelingashipmusthavewhenitmakeslandfall。Suchreliefsarenatural,andasaruledelusive;foreventsareasmuchtheparentsofthefutureastheywerethechildrenofthepast。Tobeathomewithbothhisgirls,andresting——forhisholidaywouldnotbeoverfortendays——waslikeoldtimes。NowGeorgewasgoingonsowellGratianwouldbeherselfagain;nowCyrilMorlandwasgoneNoelwouldlosethatsuddenyouthfullovefever。PerhapsintwoorthreedaysifGeorgecontinuedtoprogress,onemightgooffwithNoelsomewhereforone’slastweek。Inthemeantimetheoldhouse,whereinwasgatheredsomuchremembranceofhappinessandpain,wasjustasrestfulasanywhereelse,andthecompanionshipofhisgirlswouldbeassweetasonanyoftheirpastramblingholidaysinWalesorIreland。Andthatfirstmorningofperfectidleness——fornooneknewhewasbackinLondon——pottering,andplayingthepianointhehomelydrawing—roomwherenothingtospeakofwaschangedsincehiswife’sday,wasverypleasant。Hehadnotyetseenthegirls,forNoeldidnotcomedowntobreakfast,andGratianwaswithGeorge。 Discoverythattherewasstilla,barrierbetweenhimandthemcamebutslowlyinthenexttwodays。Hewouldnotacknowledgeit,yetitwasthere,intheirvoices,intheirmovements——ratheranabsenceofsomethingoldthanthepresenceofsomethingnew。Itwasasifeachhadsaidtohim:\"Weloveyou,butyouarenotinoursecrets——andyoumustnotbe,foryouwouldtrytodestroythem。\"Theyshowednofearofhim,butseemedtobepushinghimunconsciouslyaway,lestheshouldrestrainoralterwhatwasverydeartothem。Theywerebothfondofhim,buttheirnatureshadsetfootondefinitelydivergingpaths。Theclosertheaffection,themorewatchfultheywereagainstinterferencebythataffection。Noelhadalookonherface,halfdazed,halfproud,whichtouched,yetvexedhim。Whathadhedonetoforfeitherconfidence——surelyshemustseehownaturalandrighthisoppositionhadbeen!Hemadeonegreatefforttoshowtherealsympathyhefeltforher。Butsheonlysaid:\"Ican’ttalkofCyril,Daddy;Isimplycan’t!\"Andhe,whoeasilyshrankintohisshell,couldnotbutacquiesceinherreserve。 WithGratianitwasdifferent。Heknewthatanencounterwasbeforehim;astrugglebetweenhimandherhusband——forcharacteristicallyhesetthechangeinher,thedefectionofherfaith,downtoGeorge,nottospontaneousthoughtandfeelinginherself。Hedreadedandyetlookedforwardtothisencounter。Itcameonthethirdday,whenLairdwasup,lyingonthatverysofawherePiersonhadsatlisteningtoGratian’sconfessionofdisbelief。Exceptforputtinginhisheadtosaygoodmorning,hehadnotyetseenhisson—in—law:Theyoungdoctorcouldnotlookfragile,thebuildofhisface,withthatlawandthoseheavycheekboneswastoomuchagainstit,buttherewasabouthimenoughofthelookofhavingcomethroughahardfighttogivePierson’sheartasqueeze。 \"Well,George,\"hesaid,\"yougaveusadreadfulfright!IthankGod’smercy。\"Withthathalf—mechanicalphrasehehadflunganunconsciouschallenge。Lairdlookedupwhimsically。 \"SoyoureallythinkGodmerciful,sir?\" \"Don’tletusargue,George;you’renotstrongenough。\" \"Oh!I’mpiningforsomethingtobiteon。\" PiersonlookedatGratian,andsaidsoftly: \"God’smercyisinfinite,andyouknowitis。\" LairdalsolookedatGratian,beforeheanswered: \"God’smercyissurelytheamountofmercymanhassucceededinarrivingat。Howmuchthatis,thiswartellsyou,sir。\" Piersonflushed。\"Idon’tfollowyou,\"hesaidpainfully。\"Howcanyousaysuchthings,whenyouyourselfareonlyjustNo;Irefusetoargue,George;Irefuse。\" Lairdstretchedouthishandtohiswife,whocametohim,andstoodclaspingitwithherown。\"Well,I’mgoingtoargue,\"hesaid;\"I’msimplyburstingwithit。Ichallengeyou,sir,toshowmewherethere’sanysignofaltruisticpity,exceptinman。Motherlovedoesn’tcount——motherandchildaretoomuchone。\" Thecurioussmilehadcomealready,onboththeirfaces。 \"MydearGeorge,isnotmanthehighestworkofGod,andmercythehighestqualityinman?\" \"Notabit。Ifgeologicaltimebetakenastwenty—fourhours,man’sexistenceonearthsofarequalsjusttwosecondsofit;afterafewmoreseconds,whenmanhasbeenfrozenofftheearth,geologicaltimewillstretchforaslongagain,beforetheearthbumpsintosomething,andbecomesnebulaoncemore。God’shandshaven’tbeenparticularlyfull,sir,havethey——twosecondsoutoftwenty—fourhours——ifmanisHispetconcern?Andastomercybeingthehighestqualityin,man,that’sonlyamodernfashionoftalking。Man’shighestqualityisthesenseofproportion,forthat’swhatkeepshimalive;andmercy,logicallypursued,wouldkillhimoff。It’sasortofaluxuryorby—product。\" \"George!Youcanhavenomusicinyoursoul!Scienceissuchalittlething,ifyoucouldonlysee。\" \"Showmeabigger,sir。\" \"Faith。\" \"Inwhat?\" \"Inwhathasbeenrevealedtous。\" \"Ah!Thereitisagain!Bywhom——how? \"ByGodHimself——throughourLord。\" AfaintflushroseinLaird’syellowface,andhiseyesbrightened。 \"Christ,\"hesaid;\"ifHeexisted,whichsomepeople,asyouknow,doubt,wasaverybeautifulcharacter;therehavebeenothers。ButtoaskustobelieveinHissupernaturalnessordivinityatthistimeofdayistoaskustowalkthroughtheworldblindfold。Andthat’swhatyoudo,don’tyou?\" AgainPiersonlookedathisdaughter’sface。Shewasstandingquitestill,withhereyesfixedonherhusband。Somehowhewasawarethatallthesewordsofthesickman’swereforherbenefit。Anger,andasortofdespairrosewithinhim,andhesaidpainfully: \"Icannotexplain。TherearethingsthatIcan’tmakeclear,becauseyouarewilfullyblindtoallthatIbelievein。Forwhatdoyouimaginewearefightingthisgreatwar,ifitisnottoreestablishthebeliefinloveastheguidingprincipleoflife?\" Lairdshookhishead。\"Wearefightingtoredressabalance,whichwasindangerofbeinglost。\" \"Thebalanceofpower?\" \"Heavens!——no!Thebalanceofphilosophy。\" Piersonsmiled。\"Thatsoundsveryclever,George;butagain,Idon’tfollowyou。\" \"Thebalancebetweenthesayings:’MightisRight,’and’RightisMight。’They’rebothhalf—truth,butthefirstwasbeatingtheotheroutofthefield。Alltherestofitiscant,youknow。Andbytheway,sir,yourChurchissolidforpunishmentoftheevildoer。 Where’smercythere?EitheritsGodisnotmerciful,orelseitdoesn’tbelieveinitsGod。\" \"Justpunishmentdoesnotprecludemercy,George。\" \"ItdoesinNature。\" \"Ah!Nature,George——alwaysNature。GodtranscendsNature。\" \"ThenwhydoesHegiveitafreerein?Amantoofondofdrink,orwomen——howmuchmercydoeshegetfromNature?Hisoverindulgencebringsitsexactequivalentofpenalty;lethimpraytoGodasmuchashelikes——unlesshealtershiswayshegetsnomercy。Ifhedoesalterhisways,hegetsnomercyeither;hejustgetsNature’sduereward。WeEnglishwhohaveneglectedbrainandeducation——howmuchmercyarewegettinginthiswar?Mercy’saman—madeornament,disease,orluxury——callitwhatyouwill。Exceptthat,I’venothingtosayagainstit。Onthecontrary,Iamallforit。\" OncemorePiersonlookedathisdaughter。Somethinginherfacehurthim——thesilentintensitywithwhichshewashangingonherhusband’swords,theeagersearchofhereyes。Andheturnedtothedoor,saying: \"Thisisbadforyou,George。\" HesawGratianputherhandonherhusband’sforehead,andthought—— jealously:’HowcanIsavemypoorgirlfromthisinfidelity?Aremytwentyyearsofcaretogofornothing,againstthismodernspirit?’ Downinhisstudy,thewordswentthroughhismind:\"Holy,holy,holy,MercifulandMighty!\"Andgoingtothelittlepianointhecorner,heopenedit,andbeganplayingthehymn。Heplayeditsoftlyontheshabbykeysofthisthirty—yearoldfriend,whichhadbeenwithhimsinceCollegedays;andsangitsoftlyinhiswornvoice。 Asoundmadehimlookup。Gratianhadcomein。Sheputherhandonhisshoulder,andsaid: \"Iknowithurtsyou,Dad。Butwe’vegottofindoutforourselves,。 haven’twe?AllthetimeyouandGeorgeweretalking,Ifeltthatyoudidn’tseethatit’sIwho’vechanged。It’snotwhathethinks,butwhatI’vecometothinkofmyownaccord。Iwishyou’dunderstandthatI’vegotamindofmyown,Dad。\" Piersonlookedupwithamazement。 \"Ofcourseyouhaveamind。\" Gratianshookherhead。\"No,youthoughtmymindwasyours;andnowyouthinkit’sGeorge’s。Butit’smyown。Whenyouweremyageweren’tyoutryinghardtofindthetruthyourself,anddifferingfromyourfather?\" Piersondidnotanswer。Hecouldnotremember。Itwaslikestirringastickamongstadriftoflastyear’sleaves,toawakenbutadryrustling,avaguesenseofunsubstantiality。Searched?Nodoubthehadsearched,buttheprocesshadbroughthimnothing。Knowledgewasallsmoke!Emotionalfaithalonewastruth——reality\"Ah,Gracie!\"hesaid,\"searchifyoumust,butwherewillyoufindbottom?Thewellistoodeepforus。YouwillcomebacktoGod,mychild,whenyou’retiredout;theonlyrestisthere。\" \"Idon’twanttorest。Somepeoplesearchalltheirlives,anddiesearching。Whyshouldn’tI。 \"Youwillbemostunhappy,mychild。\" \"IfI’munhappy,Dad,it’llbebecausetheworld’sunhappy。Idon’tbelieveitoughttobe;Ithinkitonlyis,becauseitshutsitseyes。\" Piersongotup。\"YouthinkIshutmyeyes?\" Gratiannodded。 \"IfIdo,itisbecausethereisnootherwaytohappiness。\" \"Areyouhappy;Dad?\" \"Ashappyasmynaturewillletmebe。Imissyourmother。IfI loseyouandNoel——\" \"Oh,butwewon’tletyou!\" Piersonsmiled。\"Mydear,\"hesaid,\"IthinkIhave!\" VIII 1 Somewag,withabitofchalk,hadwrittentheword\"Peace\"onthreesuccessivedoorsofalittlestreetoppositeBuckinghamPalace。 ItcaughttheeyeofJimmyFort,limpinghometohisroomsfromaverylatediscussionathisClub,andtwistedhisleanshavenlipsintoasortofsmile。Hewasoneofthoserolling—stoneEnglishmen,whoseearlylivesarespentinallpartsoftheworld,andinallkindsofphysicalconflict——amanlikeahickorystick,tall,thin,bolt—upright,knotty,hardasnails,withacurvedfightingbacktohisheadandastraightfightingfronttohisbrownface。Hiswasthetypewhichbecomes,inagenerationorso,typicallyColonialorAmerican;butnoonecouldpossiblyhavetakenJimmyFortforanythingbutanEnglishman。Thoughhewasnearlyforty,therewasstillsomethingoftheboyinhisface,somethingfrankandcurly— headed,gallantandfullofsteam,andhissmallsteadygreyeyeslookedoutonlifewithasortofcombativehumour。Hewasstillinuniform,thoughtheyhadgivenhimupasabadjobafterkeepinghimninemonthstryingtomendawoundedlegwhichwouldneverbesoundagain;andhewasnowintheWarOfficeinconnectionwithhorses,aboutwhichheknew。Hedidnotlikeit,havinglivedtoolongwithallsortsandconditionsofmenwhowereneitherEnglishnorofficial,acombinationwhichhefoundtrying。Hislifeindeed,justnow,boredhimtodistraction,andhewouldtentimesratherhavebeenbackinFrance。Thiswaswhyhefoundtheword\"Peace\"soexceptionallytantalising。 Reachinghisrooms,hethrewoffhistunic,towhosestiffregularityhestillhadarootedaversion;and,pullingoutapipe,filleditandsatdownathiswindow。 Moonshinecouldnotcoolthehottown,anditseemedsleepingbadly——thesevenmillionsleepersintheirmillionhomes。Soundlingeredon,neverquiteceased;thestaleodoursclunginthenarrowstreetbelow,thoughalittlewindwascreepingabouttosweetentheair。 ’Cursethewar!’hethought。’Whatwouldn’tIgivetobesleepingout,insteadofinthisdamnedcity!’Theywhosleptintheopen,neglectingmorality,wouldcertainlyhavethebestofittonight,fornomoredewwasfallingthanfellintoJimmyFort’shearttocoolthefretofthatceaselessthought:’Thewar!Thecursedwar!’Intheunendingrowsoflittlegreyhouses,inhugecaravanserais,andthemansionsofthegreat,invillas,andhighslumtenements;inthegovernmentoffices,andfactories,andrailwaystationswheretheyworkedallnight;inthelonghospitalswheretheylayinrows;inthecampprisonsoftheinterned;inbarracks,work—houses,palaces——nohead,sleepingorwaking,wouldbefreeofthatthought:’The,cursedwar!’Aspirecaughthiseye,risingghostlyovertheroofs。 Ah!churchesalone,voidofthehumansoul,wouldbeunconscious! Butfortherest,evensleepwouldnotfreethem!Hereamotherwouldbewhisperingthenameofherboy;thereamerchantwouldsnoreanddreamhewasdrowning,weightedwithgold;andawifewouldbeturningtostretchoutherarmsto—noone;andawoundedsoldierwakeoutofadreamtrenchwithsweatonhisbrow;andanewsvendorinhisgarretmutterhoarsely。Bythousandsthebereavedwouldbetossing,stiflingtheirmoans;bythousandstheruinedwouldbegazingintothedarkfuture;andhousewivesstrugglingwithsums;andsoldierssleepinglikelogs——fortomorrowtheydied;andchildrendreamingofthem;andprostituteslyinginstalewonderatthebusynessoftheirlives;andjournalistssleepingthesleepofthejust。Andoverthemall,inthemoonlightthatthought’Thecursedwar!’flappeditsblackwings,likeanoldcrow!\"IfChristwerereal,\"hemused,\"He’dreachthatmoondown,andgochalking’Peace’withitoneverydoorofeveryhouse,alloverEurope。ButChrist’snotreal,andHindenburgandHarmsworthare!\"AsrealtheywereastwogreatbullshehadonceseeninSouthAfrica,fighting。Heseemedtohearagainthestampandsnortandcrashofthosethickskulls,toseethebeastsrecoilinganddrivingateachother,andthelittleredeyesofthem。Andpullingaletteroutofhispocket,hereaditagainbythelightofthemoon: \"15,CamelotMansions,\"St。John’sWood。 \"DEARMR。FORT,\"IcameacrossyourClubaddressto—night,lookingatsomeoldletters。DidyouknowthatIwasinLondon?IleftSteenbokwhenmyhusbanddied,fiveyearsago。I’vehadasimplyterrifictimesince。 WhiletheGermanSouthWestcampaignwasonIwasnursingoutthere,butcamebackaboutayearagotolendahandhere。Itwouldbeawfullynicetomeetyouagain,ifbyanychanceyouareinEngland。 I’mworkinginaV。A。D。hospitalintheseparts,butmyeveningsareusuallyfree。Doyourememberthatmoonlitnightatgrapeharvest?Thenightsherearen’tscentedquitelikethat。Listerine! Oh!Thiswar! \"Withallgoodremembrances,\"LEILALYNCH。\" Aterrifictime!Ifhedidnotmistake,LeilaLynchhadalwayshadaterrifictime。Andhesmiled,seeingagainthestoepofanoldDutchhouseatHighConstantia,andawomansittingthereunderthewhiteflowersofasweet—scentedcreeper——aprettywoman,witheyeswhichcouldputaspellonyou,awomanhewouldhavegotentangledwithifhehadnotcutandrunforit!Tenyearsago,andhereshewasagain,refreshinghimoutofthepast。Hesniffedthefragranceofthelittleletter。Howeverybodyalwaysmanagedtoworkintoaletterwhattheyweredoinginthewar!Ifheansweredherhewouldbesuretosay:\"SinceIgotlamed,I’vebeenattheWarOffice,workingonremounts,andadulljobitis!\"LeilaLynch!Womendidn’tgetyounger,andhesuspectedherofbeingolderthanhimself。