第6章

类别:其他 作者:Galsworthy, John字数:10154更新时间:18/12/18 13:58:46
thisfairyprincessofachildalreadytohavesomeone!Hewonderedifshewentaboutaskingeveryonethesequestions,withthatsomeoneinherthoughts。Poorchild!Andquicklyhesaid: \"Afterall,lookatme!Iwasoutthereayear,andhereIamwithonlyhalfagameleg;timeswerealotworse,then,too。IoftenwishIwerebackthere。Anything’sbetterthanLondonandtheWarOffice。\"Butjustthenhesawthepadrecoming,andtookherhand。 \"Goodnight,MissPierson。Don’tworry。Thatdoesnogood,andthereisn’thalftheriskyouthink。\" Herhandstirred,squeezedhisgratefully,asachild’swouldsqueeze。 \"Goodnight,\"shemurmured;\"thankyouawfully。\" And,inthedarkcabagain,herememberedthinking:’Fancythatchild!Ajollyluckyboy,outthere!Toobad!Poorlittlefairyprincess!’ PARTII I 1 Towashupisnotanexcitingoperation。TowashupinAugustbecameforNoelaprocesswhichtaxedherstrengthandenthusiasm。Shecombineditwithotherformsofinstructionintheartofnursing,hadverylittleleisure,andintheeveningsathomewouldoftenfallasleepcurledupinalargechintz—coveredchair。 GeorgeandGratianhadlonggonebacktotheirrespectivehospitals,andsheandherfatherhadthehousetothemselves。ShereceivedmanylettersfromCyrilwhichshecarriedaboutwithherandreadonherwaytoandfromthehospital;andeveryotherdayshewrotetohim。Hewasnotyetinthefiringline;hislettersweredescriptiveofhismen,hisfood,orthenatives,orreminiscentofKestrel;hersdescriptiveofwashingup,orreminiscentofKestrel。Butinboththerewasalwayssomelittlewordofthelongingwithinthem。 ItwastowardstheendofAugustwhenshehadtheletterwhichsaidthathehadbeenmovedup。Fromnowonhewouldbeinhourlydanger! Thateveningafterdinnershedidnotgotosleepinthechair,butsatundertheopenwindow,clenchingherhands,andreading\"PrideandPrejudice\"withoutunderstandingaword。Whileshewassoengagedherfathercameupandsaid: \"CaptainFort,Nollie。Willyougivehimsomecoffee?I’mafraidI mustgoout。\" Whenhehadgone,Noellookedathervisitordrinkinghiscoffee。Hehadbeenoutthere,too,andhewasalive;withonlyalittlelimp。 Thevisitorsmiledandsaid: \"Whatwereyouthinkingaboutwhenwecamein?\" \"Onlythewar。\" \"Anynewsofhim?\" Noelfrowned,shehatedtoshowherfeelings。 \"Yes!he’sgonetotheFront。Won’tyouhaveacigarette?\" \"Thanks。Willyou?\" \"Iwantoneawfully。Ithinksittingstillandwaitingismoredreadfulthananythingintheworld。\" \"Except,knowingthatothersarewaiting。WhenIwasoutthereI usedtoworryhorriblyovermymother。Shewasillatthetime。Thecruelestthinginwaristheanxietyofpeopleabouteachother—— nothingtouchesthat。\" ThewordsexactlysummedupNoel’shourlythought。Hesaidnicethings,thismanwiththelonglegsandthethinbrownbumpyface! \"IwishIwereaman,\"shesaid,\"Ithinkwomenhavemuchtheworsttimeinthewar。Isyourmotherold?\"Butofcourseshewasoldwhyhewasoldhimself! \"ShediedlastChristmas。\" \"Oh!I’msosorry!\" \"Youlostyourmotherwhenyouwereababe,didn’tyou?\" \"Yes。That’sherportrait。\"Attheendoftheroom,hangingonastripofblackvelvetwasapastel,veryfaintincolouring,asthoughfaded,ofayoungwoman,withaneager,sweetface,darkeyes,andbentalittleforward,asifquestioningherpainter。Fortwentuptoit。 \"It’snotabitlikeyou。Butshemusthavebeenaverysweetwoman。\" \"It’sasortofpresenceintheroom。IwishIwerelikeher!\" Fortturned。\"No,\"hesaid;\"no。Betterasyouare。Itwouldonlyhavespoiledacompletething。\" \"Shewasgood。\" \"Andaren’tyou?\" \"Oh!no。Igetadevil。\" \"You!Why,you’reoutofafairy—tale!\" \"ItcomesfromDaddy——onlyhedoesn’tknow,becausehe’saperfectsaint;butIknowhe’shadadevilsomewhere,orhecouldn’tbethesaintheis。\" \"H’m!\"saidFort。\"That’sverydeep:andIbelieveit’strue——thesaintsdidhavedevils。\" \"PoorDaddy’sdevilhasbeendeadages。It’sbeenstarvedoutofhim,Ithink。\" \"Doesyourdevilevergetawaywithyou?\" Noelfelthercheeksgrowingredunderhisstare,andsheturnedtothewindow: \"Yes。It’sarealdevil。\" VividlytherehadcomebeforeherthedarkAbbey,andthemoonbalancingoverthetopofthecrumblingwall,andthewhiteowlflyingacross。And,speakingtotheair,shesaid: \"Itmakesyoudothingsthatyouwanttodo。\" Shewonderedifhewouldlaugh——itsoundedsosilly。Buthedidnot。 \"Anddamntheconsequences?Iknow。It’sratherajollythingtohave。\" Noelshookherhead。\"Here’sDaddycomingback!\" Fortheldouthishand。 \"Iwon’tstay。Goodnight;anddon’tworrytoomuch,willyou?\" Hekeptherhandratheralongtime,andgaveitahardsqueeze。 Don’tworry!Whatadvice!Ah!ifshecouldseeCyriljustforaminute! 2 InSeptember,1916,SaturdaystillcamebeforeSunday,inspiteofthewar。ForEdwardPiersonthisSaturdayhadbeenastrenuousday,andevennow,atnearlymidnight,hewasstillconninghisjust— completedsermon。 Apatriotofpatriots,hehadoftenapassionatelongingtoresignhisparish,andgolikehiscurateforachaplainattheFront。Itseemedtohimthatpeoplemustthinkhislifeidleandshelteredanduseless。EvenintimesofpeacehehadbeensensitiveenoughtofeelthecolddraughtyblastswhichtheChurchencountersinamaterialage。Heknewthatninepeopleoutoftenlookedonhimassomethingofaparasite,withnorealworkintheworld。Andsincehewasnothingifnotconscientious,healwaysworkedhimselftothebone。 To—dayhehadrisenathalf—pastsix,andafterhisbathandexercises,hadsatdowntohissermon——for,evennow,hewroteanewsermononceamonth,thoughhehadthefruitsoftwenty—sixyearstochoosefrom。True,thesenewsermonswererathercompiledthanwritten,because,bereftofhiscurate,hehadnottimeenoughforfreshthoughtonoldsubjects。AteighthehadbreakfastedwithNoel,beforeshewentofftoherhospital,whenceshewouldreturnateightintheevening。Ninetotenwashishourforseeingparishionerswhohadtroubles,orwantedhelporadvice,andhehadreceivedthreeto—daywhoallwantedhelp,whichhehadgiven。Fromtentoelevenhehadgonebacktohissermon,andhadspentfromeleventooneathischurch,attendingtosmallmatters,writingnotices,fixinghymns,holdingthedailyhalf—hourServiceinstitutedduringwartime,towhichbutfewevercame。Hehadhurriedbacktolunch,scampingitsothathemightgettohispianoforanhourofforgetfulness。Atthreehehadchristenedaverynoisybaby,andbeendetainedbyitsparentswhowishedforinformationonavarietyoftopics。Athalf—pastfourhehadsnatchedacupoftea,readingthepaper;andhadspentfromfivetosevenvisitingtwoParishClubs,andthosewhosewar—pensionmattershehadinhand,andfillingupformswhichwouldbekeptinofficialplacestillsuchtimeasthesystemshouldbechangedandafreshsetofformsissued。 >Fromseventoeighthewasathomeagain,incasehisflockwantedtoseehim;to—dayfoursheephadcome,andgoneaway,hewasafraid,butlittlethewiser。Fromhalf—pasteighttohalf—pastninehehadspentinchoirpractice,becausetheorganistwasonhisholiday。 Slowlyinthecooloftheeveninghehadwalkedhome,andfallenasleepinhischairongettingin。Atelevenhehadwokenwithastart,and,hardeninghisheart,hadgonebacktohissermon。Andnow,atnearlymidnight,itwasstilllessthantwentyminuteslong。 Helightedoneofhisrarecigarettes,andletthoughtwander。Howbeautifulthosepalepinkroseswereinthatoldsilverbowl—likealittlestrangepoem,orapieceofDebussymusic,oraMathieuMarispicture—remindinghimoddlyofthewordLeila。WashewronginlettingNoelseesomuchofLeila?Butthenshewassoimproved—— dearLeila!……Thepinkroseswerejustgoingtofall!Andyethowbeautiful!……Itwasquietto—night;hefeltverydrowsy……DidNolliestillthinkofthatyoungman,orhaditpassed?Shehadneverconfidedinhimsince!Afterthewar,itwouldbenicetotakehertoItaly,toallthelittletowns。TheywouldseetheAssisiofSt。Francis。TheLittleFlowersofSt。Francis。TheLittleFlowers!……Hishanddropped,thecigarettewentout。Hesleptwithhisfaceinshadow。Slowlyintothesilenceofhissleeplittlesinistersoundsintruded。Shortconcussions,dragginghimbackoutofthatdeepslumber。Hestartedup。Noelwasstandingatthedoor,inalongcoat。Shesaidinhercalmvoice: \"Zeps,Daddy!\" \"Yes,mydear。Wherearethemaids?\" AnIrishvoiceansweredfromthehall:\"Here,sir;trustin’inGod; but’tisbetteronthegroundfloor。\" Hesawahuddleofthreefigures,queerlycostumed,againstthestairs。 \"Yes,Yes,Bridgie;you’resafedownhere。\"ThenhenoticedthatNoelwasgone。HefollowedheroutintotheSquare,alivewithfacesfaintlyluminousinthedarkness,andfoundheragainstthegardenrailings。 \"Youmustcomebackin,Nollie。\" \"Oh,no!Cyrilhasthiseveryday。\" Hestoodbesideher;notloth,forexcitementhadbeguntostirhisblood。Theystayedthereforsomeminutes,strainingtheireyesforsightofanythingsavethelittlezaggedsplashesofburstingshrapnel,whilevoicesbuzzed,andmuttered:\"Look!There!There! Thereitis!\" ButtheseershadeyesofgreaterfaiththanPierson’s,forhesawnothing:Hetookherarmatlast,andledherin。Inthehallshebrokefromhim。 \"Let’sgoupontheroof,Daddy!\"andranupstairs。 Againhefollowed,mountingbyaladder,throughatrapdoorontotheroof。 \"It’ssplendiduphere!\"shecried。 Hecouldseehereyesblazing,andthought:’Howmychilddoesloveexcitement——it’salmostterrible!’ Overthewide,dark,star—strewnskytravellingsearchlights,werelightingupthefewlittleclouds;thedomesandspiresrosefromamongthespread—outroofs,allfineandghostly。Thegunshadceasedfiring,asthoughpuzzled。Onedistantbangrumbledout。 \"Abomb!Oh!IfwecouldonlygetoneoftheZeps!\" Afuriousoutburstoffiringfollowed,lastingperhapsaminute,thenceasedasifbymagic。Theysawtwosearchlightsconvergeandmeetrightoverhead。 \"It’saboveus!\"murmuredNoel。 Piersonputhisarmroundherwaist。’Shefeelsnofear!’hethought。Thesearch—lightsswitchedapart;andsuddenly,fromfaraway,cameaconfusionofweirdsounds。 \"Whatisit?They’recheering。Oh!Daddy,look!\"Thereintheheavens,towardstheeast,hungadullredthing,lengtheningastheygazed。 \"They’vegotit。It’sonfire!Hurrah!\" Throughthedarkfirmamentthatfieryorangeshapebegancantingdownward;andthecheeringswelledinasavagefrenzyofsound。AndPierson’sarmtightenedonherwaist。 \"ThankGod!\"hemuttered。 Thebrightoblongseemedtobreakandspread,tilteddownbelowtheleveloftheroofs;andsuddenlytheheavensflared,asifsomehugejugofcrimsonlighthadbeenflungoutonthem。SomethingturnedoverinPierson’sheart;heflunguphishandtohiseyes。 \"Thepoormeninit!\"hesaid。\"Howterrible!\" Noel’svoiceanswered,hardandpitiless: \"Theyneedn’thavecome。They’remurderers!\" Yes,theyweremurderers——buthowterrible!Andhestoodquivering,withhishandspressedtohisface,tillthecheeringhaddiedoutintosilence。 \"Let’spray,Nollie!\"hewhispered。\"OGod,WhoinThygreatmercyhathdeliveredusfromperil,takeintoThykeepingthesoulsoftheseourenemies,consumedbyThywrathbeforeoureyes;giveusthepowertopitythem——menlikeourselves。\" ButevenwhileheprayedhecouldseeNoel’sfaceflame—whiteinthedarkness;and,asthatglowintheskyfadedout,hefeltoncemorethethrilloftriumph。 Theywentdowntotellthemaids,andforsometimeaftersatuptogether,talkingoverwhattheyhadseen,eatingbiscuitsanddrinkingmilk,whichtheywarmedonanetna。Itwasnearlytwoo’clockbeforetheywenttobed。Piersonfellasleepatonce,andneverturnedtillawakenedathalf—pastsixbyhisalarum。HehadHolyCommuniontoadministerateight,andhehurriedtogetearlytohischurchandseethatnothinguntowardhadhappenedtoit。Thereitstoodinthesunlight;tall,grey,quiet,unharmed,withbellgentlyringing。 3 AndatthathourCyrilMorland,undertheparapetofhistrench,tighteninghisbelt,waslookingathiswrist—watchforthehundredthtime,calculatingexactlywherehemeanttoputfootandhandforthegoingover:’Iabsolutelymustn’tletthosechapsgetinfrontofme,’hethought。Somanyyardsbeforethefirstlineoftrenches,somanyyardstothesecondline,andtherestop。Sohisrehearsalshadgone;itwastheperformancenow!Anotherminutebeforetheterrificracketofthedrum—fireshouldbecomethecurtain—fire,whichwouldadvancebeforethem。Heranhiseyedownthetrench。Themannexthimwaslickinghistwofirstfingers,asifhemightbegoingtobowlatcricket。Furtherdown,amanwasfeelinghisputtees。A voicesaid:\"Wotpricetheorchestranah!\"Hesawteethgleaminfacesburntalmostblack。Thenhelookedup;theskywasbluebeyondthebrownishfilmofdustraisedbythestrikingshells。Noel! Noel!Noel!……Hedughisfingersdeepintotheleftsideofhistunictillhecouldfeeltheoutlineofherphotographbetweenhisdispatch—caseandhisheart。Hisheartflutteredjustasitusedwhenhewasstretchedoutwithhandtouchingtheground,beforethestartofthe\"hundredyards\"atschool。Outofthecornerofhiseyehecaughttheflashofaman’s\"briquet\"lightingacigarette。Allrightforthosechaps,butnotforhim;hewantedallhisbreath—— thisrifle,andkitwerehandicapenough!Twodaysagohehadbeenreadinginsomepaperhowmenfeltjustbeforeanattack。Andnowheknew。Hejustfeltnervous。Ifonlythemomentwouldcome,andgetitselfover!Forallthethoughthegavetotheenemytheremighthavebeennone——nothingbutshellsandbullets,withlivesoftheirown。Heheardthewhistle;hisfootwasonthespothehadmarkeddown;hishandwherehehadseenit;hecalledout:\"Now,boys!\"Hisheadwasoverthetop,hisbodyover;hewasconsciousofsomeonefalling,andtwomenneckandneckbesidehim。Nottotryandrun,nottobreakoutofawalk;togosteady,andyetkeepahead!D——ntheseholes!Abullettorethroughhissleeve,grazinghisarm——ared—hotsensation,likethetouchofaniron。ABritishshellfromcloseoverhisheadburstsixtyyardsahead;hestumbled,fellflat,pickedhimselfup。Threeaheadofhimnow!Hewalkedfaster,anddrewalongside。Twoofthemfell。’Whatluck!’hethought;andgrippinghisrifleharder,pitchedheadlongintoadeclivity。Deadbodieslaythere!ThefirstGermantrenchline,andnothingaliveinit,nothingtocleanup,nothingofitleft!Hestopped,gettinghiswind;watchingthemenpantingandstumblingin。Theroarofthegunswaslouderthaneveragain,barragingthesecondline。Sofar,good!Andherewashiscaptain! \"Ready,boys?On,then!\" Thistimehemovedmoreslowlystill,overterriblegoing,allholesandhummocks。Halfconsciouslyhetookcoverallhecould。Theairwasalivewiththewhistlefrommachine—gunfirestormingacrosszigzagfashion—aliveitwaswithbullets,dust,andsmoke。’HowshallItellher?’hethought。Therewouldbenothingtotellbutjustasortofjaggedbrownsensation。Hekepthiseyessteadilybeforehim,notwantingtoseethemenfalling,notwantinganythingtodiverthimfromgettingthere。Hefeltthefaintfanningofthepassingbullets。Thesecondlinemustbeclosenow。Whydidn’tthatbarragelift?Wasthisnewdodgeoffiringtillthelastsecondgoingtodothemin?Anotherhundredyardsandhewouldbebangintoit。Heflunghimselfflatandwaited;lookingathiswrist—watchhenotedthathisarmwassoakedwithblood。Hethought:’Awound!NowIshallgohome。ThankGod!Oh,Noel!’Thepassingbulletswhirledabovehim;hecouldhearthemeventhroughthescreechandthunderoftheshell—fire。’Thebeastlythings!’hethought:Avoicebesidehimgaspedout: \"It’slifted,sir。\" Hecalled:\"Comeon,boys!\"andwentforward,stooping。Abulletstruckhisrifle。Theshockmadehimstaggerandsentanelectricshockspinninguphisarm。’Luckagain!’hethought。’Nowforit! Ihaven’tseenaGermanyet!’Heleapedforward,spunround,flunguphisarms,andfellonhisback,shotthroughandthrough…… Thepositionwasconsolidated,astheysay,andinthedarknessstretcher—bearerswereoutoverthehalf—mile。Likewill—o’—the— wisps,withtheirshadedlanterns,theymoved,hourafterhour,slowlyquarteringtheblackhoneycombwhichlaybehindthenewBritishline。Nowandtheninthelightofsomestar—shelltheirfiguresweredisclosed,bendingandraisingtheformsofthewounded,orwieldingpickandshovel。 \"Officer。\" \"Dead?\" \"Sure。\" \"Search。\" >Fromtheshadedlantern,loweredtojustabovethebody,ayellowishglarefellonfaceandbreast。Thehandsofthesearchermovedinthatlittlepooloflight。Thebearerwhowastakingnotesbentdown。 \"Anotherboy,\"hesaid。\"Thatallhehas?\" Thesearcherraisedhimself。 \"Justthose,andaphoto。\" \"Dispatch—case;poundloose;cigarette—case;wristwatch;photo。 Let’sseeit。\" Thesearcherplacedthephotointhepooloflight。Thetinyfaceofagirlstaredupatthem,unmoved,fromitsshorthair。 \"Noel,\"saidthesearcher,reading。 \"H’m!Takecareofit。Stickitinhiscase。Comeon!\" Thepooloflightdissolved,anddarknessforevercoveredCyrilMorland。 II WhenthosefourtooktheirseatsintheGrandCircleatQueen’sHalltheprogrammewasalreadyatthesecondnumber,which,inspiteofalltheeffortsofpatriotism,wasofGermanorigin——aBrandenburgconcertobyBach。Morecuriousstill,itwasencored。Piersondidnotapplaud,hewastoofargoneinpleasure,andsatwitharaptsmileonhisface,obliviousofhissurroundings。Heremainedthusremovedfrommortaljoysandsorrowstillthelastapplausehaddiedaway,andLeila’svoicesaidinhisear: \"Isn’titawonderfulaudience,Edward?Lookatallthatkhaki。 Who’dhavethoughtthoseyoungmencaredformusic——goodmusic—— Germanmusic,too?\" Piersonlookeddownatthepatientmassofstandingfiguresinstrawhatsandmilitarycaps,withfacesturnedalloneway,andsighed。 \"IwishIcouldgetanaudiencelikethatinmychurch。\" AsmilecreptoutatthecornerofLeila’slips。Shewasthinking: ’Ah!YourChurchisoutofdate,mydear,andsoareyou!YourChurch,withitssmellofmouldandincense,itsstained—glass,andnarrowedlengthanddroningorgan。PoorEdward,sooutoftheworld!’Butsheonlypressedhisarm,andwhispered: \"LookatNoel!\" ThegirlwastalkingtoJimmyFort。Hercheeksweregushed,andshelookedprettierthanPiersonhadseenherlookforalongtimenow,eversinceKestrel,indeed。HeheardLeilasigh。 \"Doesshegetnewsofherboy?DoyourememberthatMayWeek,Edward?Wewereveryyoungthen;evenyouwereyoung。Thatwassuchaprettylittleletteryouwroteme。Icanseeyoustill—wanderinginyourdressclothesalongtheriver,amongthe’holy’cows。\" Buthereyesslidroundagain,watchingherotherneighbourandthegirl。AviolinisthadbeguntoplaytheCesarFranckSonata。ItwasPierson’sfavouritepieceofmusic,bringinghim,asitwere,aviewofheaven,ofdevotionalblueairwheredevoutstarswereshininginasunlitnoon,aboveecstatictreesandwaterswhereecstaticswanswereswimming。 \"Queerworld,Mr。Pierson!Fancythoseboyshavingtogobacktobarracklifeafterlisteningtothat!,What’syourfeeling?Arewemovingbacktotheapes?DidwetouchtopnotewiththatSonata?\" Piersonturnedandcontemplatedhisquestionershrewdly。 \"No,CaptainFort,Idonotthinkwearemovingbacktotheapes;ifweevercamefromthem。Thoseboyshavethesoulsofheroes!\" \"Iknowthat,sir,perhapsbetterthanyoudo。\" \"Ah!yes,\"saidPiersonhumbly,\"Iforgot,ofcourse。\"Buthestilllookedathisneighbourdoubtfully。ThisCaptainFort,whowasafriendofLeila’s,andwhohadtwicebeentoseethem,puzzledhim。 Hehadafrankface,afrankvoice,butqueeropinions,orsoitseemedto,Pierson—littlebitsofMoslemism,littlebitsofthebackwoods,andtheveldt;queerunexpectedcynicisms,allsortsofsideviewsonEnglandhadlodgedinhim,andhedidnothidethem。 Theycamefromhimlikebullets,inthatfrankvoice,anddrilledlittleholesinthelistener。Thosecriticalsayingsflewsomuchmorepoignantlyfromonewhohadbeenthroughthesameeducationalmillashimself,thaniftheyhadmerelycomefromsomeroughdiamond,someartist,someforeigner,evenfromadoctorlikeGeorge。 Andtheyalwaysmadehimuncomfortable,likethetouchofapricklyleaf;theydidnotamusehim。CertainlyEdwardPiersonshrankfromtheroughtouchesofaknock—aboutphilosophy。Afterall,itwasbutnaturalthatheshould。 HeandNoelleftafterthefirstpartoftheconcert,partingfromtheothertwoatthedoor。Heslippedhishandthroughherarm;and,followingoutthosethoughtsofhisintheconcert—hall,asked: \"DoyoulikeCaptainFort,Nollie?\" \"Yes;he’saniceman。\" \"Heseemsaniceman,certainly;hehasanicesmile,butstrangeviews,I’mafraid。\" \"HethinkstheGermansarenotmuchworsethanweare;hesaysthatagoodmanyofusarebulliestoo。\" \"Yes,thatisthesortofthingImean。\" \"Butarewe,Daddy?\" \"Surelynot。\" \"ApolicemanItalkedtooncesaidthesame。CaptainFortsaysthatveryfewmencanstandhavingpowerputintotheirhandswithoutbeingspoiled。Hetoldmesomedreadfulstories。Hesayswehavenoimagination,sothatweoftendothingswithoutseeinghowbrutaltheyare。\" \"We’renotperfect,Nollie;butonthewholeIthinkwe’reakindpeople。\" Noelwassilentamoment,thensaidsuddenly: \"Kindpeopleoftenthinkothersarekindtoo,whentheyreallyaren’t。CaptainFortdoesn’tmakethatmistake。\" \"Ithinkhe’salittlecynical,andalittledangerous。\" \"Areallpeopledangerouswhodon’tthinklikeothers,Daddy?\" Pierson,incapableofmockery,wasnotincapableofseeingwhenhewasbeingmocked。Helookedathisdaughterwithasmile。 \"Notquitesobadasthat,Nollie;butMr。Fortiscertainlysubversive。Ithinkperhapshehasseentoomanyqueersidesoflife。\" \"Ilikehimthebetterforthat。\" \"Well,well,\"Piersonansweredabsently。HehadworktodoinpreparationforaConfirmationClass,andsoughthisstudyongettingin。 Noelwenttothedining—roomtodrinkherhotmilk。Thecurtainswerenotdrawn,andbrightmoonlightwascomingin。Withoutlightingup,shesettheetnagoing,andstoodlookingatthemoon—fullforthesecondtimesincesheandCyrilhadwaitedforitintheAbbey。 Andpressingherhandstoherbreast,sheshivered。Ifonlyshecouldsummonhimfromthemoonlightoutthere;ifonlyshewereawitch—couldseehim,knowwherehewas,whatdoing!Forafortnightnowshehadreceivednoletter。Everydaysincehehadleftshehadreadthecasualtylists,withthesuperstitiousfeelingthattodosowouldkeephimoutofthem。ShetookuptheTimes。Therewasjustenoughlight,andshereadtherollofhonour——tillthemoonshoneinonher,lyingonthefloor,withthedroppedjournal…… Butshewasproud,andsoontookgrieftoherroom,asonthatnightafterhelefther,shehadtakenlove。Nosignbetrayedtothehouseherdisaster;thejournalonthefloor,andthesmelloftheburntmilkwhichhadboiledover,revealednothing。Afterall,shewasbutoneofathousandheartswhichspentthatmoonlitnightinagony。 Eachnight,yearin,yearout,athousandfaceswereburiedinpillowstosmotherthatfirstawfulsenseofdesolation,andgropeforthesecretspirit—placewherebereavedsoulsgo,toreceivesomefeebletouchofhealingfromknowledgeofeachother’strouble