VI
1
Piersonwentbacktohisstudy，andwrotetoGratian。
\"Ifyoucangetleaveforafewdays，mydear，Iwantyouathome。I
amtroubledaboutNollie。Eversincethatdisasterhappenedtohershehasbeengettingpaler;andto—dayshefainted。Shewon’tseeadoctor，butperhapsyoucouldgethertoseeGeorge。Ifyoucomeup，hewillsurelybeabletorunuptousforadayortwo。Ifnot，youmusttakeherdowntohimatthesea。IhavejustseenthenewsofyoursecondcousinCharliePierson’sdeath;hewaskilledinoneofthelastattacksontheSomme;hewasnephewofmycousinLeilawhom，asyouknow，Noelseeseverydayatherhospital。BertramhastheD。S。O。Ihavebeenlesshard—pressedlately;LauderhasbeenhomeonleaveandhastakensomeServicesforme。Andnowthecolderweatherhascome，Iamfeelingmuchfresher。Tryyourbesttocome。
Iamseriouslyconcernedforourbelovedchild。
\"Youraffectionatefather\"EDWARDPIERSON。\"
Gratianansweredthatshecouldgetweek—endleave，andwouldcomeonFriday。Hemetheratthestation，andtheydrovethencestraighttothehospital，topickupNoel。Leilacametotheminthewaiting—
room，andPierson，thinkingtheywouldtalkmorefreelyaboutNoel’shealthifheleftthem，alone，wentintotherecreationroom，andstoodwatchingagameofbagatellebetweentwoconvalescents。Whenhereturnedtothelittlesitting—roomtheywerestillstandingbythehearth，talkinginlowvoices。Gratianmustsurelyhavebeenstoopingoverthefire，forherfacewasred，almostswollen，andhereyeslookedasifshehadscorchedthem。
Leilasaidlightly:
\"Well，Edward，aren’tthemendelightful？Whenarewegoingtoanotherconcerttogether？\"
She，too，wasflushedandlookingalmostyoung。
\"Ah！Ifwecoulddothethingswewantto。
\"That’sverypretty，Edward;butyoushould，youknow——foratonic。\"
Heshookhisheadandsmiled。
\"You’reatemptress，Leila。WillyouletNollieknow，please，thatwecantakeherbackwithus？Canyouletheroffto—morrow？\"
\"Foraslongasyoulike;shewantsarest。I’vebeentalkingtoGratian。Weoughtn’ttohavelethergoonafterashocklikethat——myfault，I’mafraid。Ithoughtthatworkmightbebest。\"
PiersonwasconsciousofGratianwalkingpasthimoutoftheroom。
HeheldouthishandtoLeila，andfollowed。Asmallnoiseoccurredbehindhimsuchasawomanmakeswhenshehasputafootthroughherownskirt，orhasotherpowerfulcausefordismay。ThenhesawNoelinthehall，andwasvaguelyawareofbeingthecentreofatriangleofwomenwhoseeyeswereplayingcatch—glance。Hisdaughterskissedeachother;andhebecameseatedbetweentheminthetaxi。Themostunobservantofmen，hepartedfromtheminthehallwithouthavingperceivedanythingexceptthattheywererathersilent;and，goingtohisstudy，hetookupaLifeofSirThomasMore。TherewasapassagethereinwhichheitchedtoshowGeorgeLaird，whowascomingupthatevening。
GratianandNoelhadmountedthestairswithlipstightset，andeyesaverted;bothwereverypale。WhentheyreachedthedoorofGratian’sroomtheroomwhichhadbeentheirmother’s——Noelwasforpassingon，butGratiancaughtherbythearm，andsaid:\"Comein。\"
Thefirewasburningbrightlyinthere，andthetwosistersstoodinfrontofit，oneoneachside，theirhandsclutchingthemantel—
shelf，staringattheflames。AtlastNoelputonehandinfrontofhereyes，andsaid:
\"Iaskedhertotellyou。\"
Gratianmadethemovementofonewhoisgrippedbytwostrongemotions，andlongstosurrendertooneortotheother。
\"It’stoohorrible，\"wasallshesaid。
Noelturnedtowardsthedoor。
\"Stop，Nollie！\"
Noelstoppedwithherhandonthedoorknob。\"Idon’twanttobeforgivenandsympathisedwith。Ijustwanttobeletalone。\"
\"Howcanyoubeletalone？\"
ThetideofmiserysurgedupinNoel，andshecriedoutpassionately:
\"Ihatesympathyfrompeoplewhocan’tunderstand。Idon’twantanyone’s。Icanalwaysgoaway，andlosemyself。\"
Thewords\"can’tunderstand\"gaveGratianashock。
\"Icanunderstand，\"shesaid。
\"Youcan’t;youneversawhim。Youneversaw——\"herlipsquiveredsothatshehadtostopandbitethem，tokeepbackarushoftears。
\"Besidesyouwouldneverhavedoneityourself。\"
Gratianwenttowardsher，butstopped，andsatdownonthebed。Itwastrue。Shewouldneverhavedoneitherself;itwasjustthatwhich，forallherlongingtohelphersister，icedherloveandsympathy。Howterrible，wretched，humiliating！Herownsister，heronlysister，inthepositionofallthosepoor，badlybroughtupgirls，whoforgotthemselves！Andherfather——theirfather！Tillthatmomentshehadhardlythoughtofhim，toopreoccupiedbytheshocktoherownpride。Theword:\"Dad！\"wasforcedfromher。
Noelshuddered。
\"Thatboy！\"saidGratiansuddenly;\"Ican’tforgivehim。Ifyoudidn’tknow——hedid。Itwas——itwas——\"ShestoppedatthesightofNoel’sface。
\"Ididknow，\"shesaid。\"ItwasI。Hewasmyhusband，asmuchasyoursis。Ifyousayawordagainsthim，I’llneverspeaktoyouagain:I’mglad，andyouwouldbe，ifyouweregoingtohaveone。
What’sthedifference，exceptthatyou’vehadluck，andI——haven’t。\"
Herlipsquiveredagain，andshewassilent。
Gratianstaredupather。ShehadalongingforGeorge——toknowwhathethoughtandfelt。
\"DoyoumindifItellGeorge？\"shesaid。
Noelshookherhead。，\"No！notnow。Tellanybody。\"AndsuddenlythemiserybehindthemaskofherfacewentstraighttoGratian’sheart。
Shegotupandputherarmsroundhersister。
\"Nolliedear，don’tlooklikethat！\"
Noelsufferedtheembracewithoutresponse，butwhenitwasover，wenttoherownroom。
Gratianstayed，sorry，soreandvexed，uncertain，anxious。Herpridewasdeeplywounded，herhearttorn;shewasangrywithherself。Whycouldn’tshehavebeenmoresympathetic？Andyet，nowthatNoelwasnolongerthere，sheagaincondemnedthedead。Whathehaddonewasunpardonable。Nolliewassuch——achild！Hehadcommittedsacrilege。
IfonlyGeorgewouldcome，andshecouldtalkitalloutwithhim！
She，whohadmarriedforloveandknownpassion，hadinsightenoughtofeelthatNoel’slovehadbeendeep——sofarasanything，ofcourse，couldbedeepinsuchachild。Gratianwasatthematureageoftwenty。Buttohaveforgottenherselflikethat！Andthisboy！
Ifshehadknownhim，thatfeelingmighthavebeenmitigatedbythepersonalelement，soimportanttoallhumanjudgment;butneverhavingseenhim，shethoughtofhisconductas\"caddish。\"Andsheknewthatthiswas，andwouldbe，thetroublebetweenherandhersister。Howevershemightdisguiseit，Noelwouldfeelthatjudgmentunderneath。
Shestrippedoffhernurse’sgarb，putonaneveningfrock，andfidgetedabouttheroom。Anythingratherthangodownandseeherfatheragainbeforeshemust。This，whichhadhappened，wasbeyondwordsterribleforhim;shedreadedthetalkwithhimaboutNoel’shealthwhichwouldhavetocome。Shecouldsaynothing，ofcourse，untilNoelwished;and，verytruthfulbynature，theidea，ofhavingtoactaliedistressedher。
Shewentdownatlast，andfoundthembothinthedrawing—roomalready;Noelinafrillyeveningfrock，sittingbythefirewithherchinonherhand，whileherfatherwasreadingoutthewarnewsfromtheeveningpaper。Atsightofthatcool，dainty，girlishfigurebroodingoverthefire，andofherfather’swornface，thetragedyofthisbusinessthrustitselfonherwithredoubledforce。PoorDad！
PoorNollie！Awful！ThenNoelturned，andgavealittleshakeofherhead，andhereyessaid，almostasplainlyaslipscouldhavesaidit:’Silence！’Gratiannodded，andcameforwardtothefire。
Andsobeganoneofthosecalm，domesticevenings，whichcoversometimessuchdepthsofheartache。
2
Noelstayedupuntilherfatherwenttobed，thenwentupstairsatonce。Shehadevidentlydeterminedthattheyshouldnottalkabouther。Gratiansatonalone，waitingforherhusband！Itwasnearlymidnightwhenhecame，andshedidnottellhimthefamilynewstillnextmorning。Hereceiveditwithacuriouslittlegrunt。Gratiansawhiseyescontract，astheymighthave，perhaps，lookingatsomebadandcomplicatedwound，andthenstaresteadilyattheceiling。
Thoughtheyhadbeenmarriedoverayear，shedidnotyetknowwhathethoughtaboutmanythings，andshewaitedwithaqueersinkingatherheart。Thisskeletoninthefamilycupboardwasatestofhisaffectionforherself，atestofthequalityofthemanshehadmarried。Hedidnotspeakforalittle，andheranxietygrew。Thenhishandsoughthers，andgaveitahardsqueeze。
\"PoorlittleNollie！ThisisacaseforMarkTapleyism。Butcheerup，Gracie！We’llgetherthroughsomehow。\"
\"Butfather！It’simpossibletokeepitfromhim，andimpossibletotellhim！OhGeorge！Ineverknewwhatfamilypridewastillnow。
It’sincredible。Thatwretchedboy！\"
\"’Demortuis。’Come，Gracie！Inthemidstofdeathweareinlife！
Nolliewasaplumblittleidiot。Butit’sthewar——thewar！Yourfathermustgetusedtoit;it’sararechanceforhisChristianity。\"
\"Dadwillbeassweetasanything——that’swhatmakesitsohorrible！\"
GeorgeLairdredoubledhissqueeze。\"Quiteright！Theold—fashionedfathercouldlethimselfgo。Butneedheknow？WecangetherawayfromLondon，andlateron，wemustmanagesomehow。Ifhedoeshear，wemustmakehimfeelthatNolliewas’doingherbit。’\"
Gratianwithdrewherhand。\"Don’t！\"shesaidinamuffledvoice。
GeorgeLairdturnedandlookedather。Hewasgreatlyupsethimself，realisingperhapsmoretrulythanhisyoungwifetheviolenceofthisdisaster;hewasquitecapable，too，offeelinghowdeeplyshewasstirredandhurt;but，abornpragmatist，confrontinglifealwaysintheexperimentalspirit，hewasimpatientofthe:\"Howawful！\"
attitude。Andthisstreakofherfather’sascetictraditionalisminGratianalwaysrousedinhimawishtobreakitup。Ifshehadnotbeenhiswifehewouldhaveadmittedatoncethathemightjustaswelltryandalterthebone—formationofherhead，asbreakdownsuchafundamentaltraitofcharacter，but，beinghiswife，henaturallyconsideredalterationaspossibleasputtinganewstaircaseinahouse，orthrowingtworoomsintoone。And，takingherinhisarms，hesaid:\"Iknow;butit’llallcomeright，ifweputagoodfaceonit。ShallItalktoNollie？\"
Gratianassented，fromthedesiretobeabletosaytoherfather:
\"Georgeisseeingher！\"andsostaytheneedforadiscussion。Butthewholethingseemedtohermoreandmoreacalamitywhichnothingcouldlessenorsmoothaway。
GeorgeLairdhadplentyofcoolcourage，invaluableinmenwhohavetoinflictaswellastoalleviatepain，buthedidnotlikehismission\"alittlebit\"ashewouldhavesaid;andheproposedawalkbecausehedreadedascene。Noelacceptedforthesamereason。ShelikedGeorge，andwiththedisinteresteddetachmentofasister—in—
law，andtheshrewdnessofextremeyouth，knewhimperhapsbetterthandidhiswife。Shewassure，atallevents，ofbeingneithercondemnednorsympathisedwith。
Theymighthavegone，ofcourse，inanydirection，butchosetomakefortheCity。Suchdeepdecisionsaresubconscious。Theysought，nodoubt，adry，unemotionalregion;orperhapsonewhereGeorge，whowasinuniform，mightresthisarmfromtheautomatic—toygamewhichthemilitaryplay。TheyhadreachedCheapsidebeforehewasconscioustothefullofthebizarrenatureofthiswalkwithhisprettyyoungsister—in—lawamongallthebustling，black—coatedmobofmoney—makers。’Iwishthedevilwehadn’tcomeout！’hethought;
’itwouldhavebeeneasierindoors，afterall。’
Heclearedhisthroat，however，andsqueezingherarmgently，began:
\"Gratian’stoldme，Nollie。Thegreatthingistokeepyourspiritup，andnotworry。\"
\"Isupposeyoucouldn’tcureme。\"
Thewords，inthatdelicatespurningvoice，absolutelystaggeredGeorge;buthesaidquickly:
\"Outofthequestion，Nollie;impossible！Whatareyouthinkingof？\"
\"Daddy。\"
Thewords:\"D——nDaddy！\"rosetohisteeth;hebitthemoff，andsaid:\"Blesshim！Weshallhavetoseetoallthat。Doyoureallywanttokeepitfromhim？Itmustbeonewayortheother;nouseconcealingit，ifit’stocomeoutlater。\"
\"No。\"
Hestolealookather。Shewasgazingstraightbeforeher。Howdamnablyyoungshewas，howpretty！Alumpcameupinhisthroat。
\"Ishouldn’tdoanythingyet，\"hesaid;\"tooearly。Lateron，ifyou’dlikemetotellhim。Butthat’sentirelyuptoyou，mydear;
heneedneverknow。\"
\"No。\"
Hecouldnotfollowherthought。Thenshesaid:
\"GratiancondemnsCyril。Don’tlether。Iwon’thavehimbadlythoughtof。Itwasmydoing。Iwantedtomakesureofhim。\"
Georgeansweredstoutly:
\"Gracie’supset，ofcourse，butshe’llsoonbeallright。Youmustn’tletitcomebetweenyou。Thethingyou’vegottokeepsteadilybeforeyouisthatlife’sahugewideadaptablething。Lookatallthesepeople！There’shardlyoneofthemwhohasn’tgotnow，orhasn’thad，somepersonaldifficultyortroublebeforethemasbigasyoursalmost;biggerperhaps。Andheretheyareaslivelyasfleas。That’swhatmakesthefascinationoflife——thejollyironyofitall。ItwoulddoyougoodtohaveaturninFrance，andseeyourselfinproportiontothewhole。\"Hefeltherfingerssuddenlyslipunderhisarm，andwentonwithgreaterconfidence:
\"Life’sgoingtobetheimportantthinginthefuture，Nollie;notcomfortandcloisteredvirtueandsecurity;butliving，andpressuretothesquareinch。Doyoutwig？Alltheoldhard—and—fasttraditionsanddragsonlifeareinthemelting—pot。Death’sboilingtheirbones，andthey’llmakeexcellentstockforthenewsoup。Whenyoupruneanddockthings，thesapflowsquicker。Regretsandrepiningsandrepressionsaregoingoutoffashion;weshallhavenotimeorusefortheminthefuture。You’regoingtomakelife——well，that’ssomethingtobethankfulfor，anyway。You’vekeptCyrilMorlandalive。And——well，youknow，we’veallbeenborn;someofusproperly，andsomeimproperly，andthereisn’taha’porthofdifferenceinthevalueofthearticle，orthetroubleofbringingitintotheworld。Thecheerieryouarethebetteryourchildwillbe，andthat’sallyou’vegottothinkabout。Youneedn’tbegintotroubleatallforanothercoupleofmonths，atleast;afterthat，justletusknowwhereyou’dliketogo，andI’llarrangeitsomehow。\"
Shelookedroundathim，andunderthatyoung，clear，broodinggazehehadthesuddenuncomfortablefeelingofhavingspokenlikeacharlatan。Hadhereallytouchedtheheartofthematter？Whatgoodwerehisgeneralitiestothisyoung，fastidiouslynurturedgirl，broughtuptotellthetruth，byafathersoold—fashionedanddevoted，whomsheloved？ItwasGeorge’snature，too，todespisewords;andtheconditionsofhislifetheselasttwoyearshadgivenhimasortofhorrorofthosewhoactbytalking。Hefeltinclinedtosay:’Don’tpaytheslightestattentiontome;it’sallhumbug;
whatwillbewillbe，andthere’sanendofit:
Thenshesaidquietly:
\"ShallItellDaddyornot？\"
Hewantedtosay:\"No，\"butsomehowcouldn’t。Afterall，thestraightforwardcoursewasprobablythebest。Forthiswouldhavetobealifelongconcealment。Itwasimpossibletoconcealathingforever;soonerorlaterhewouldfindout。Butthedoctorroseupinhim，andhesaid:
\"Don’tgotomeettrouble，Nollie;it’llbetimeenoughintwomonths。Thentellhim，orletme。\"
Sheshookherhead。\"No;Iwill，ifitistobedone。\"
Heputhishandonhers，withinhisarm，andgaveitasqueeze。
\"WhatshallIdotillthen？\"sheasked。
\"Takeaweek’scompleterest，andthengoonwhereyouare。\"
Noelwassilentaminute，thensaid:\"Yes;Iwill。\"
Theyspokenomoreonthesubject，andGeorgeexertedhimselftotalkabouthospitalexperiences，andthatphenomenon，theBritishsoldier。
Butjustbeforetheyreachedhomehesaid:
\"Lookhere，Nollie！Ifyou’renotashamedofyourself，noonewillbeashamedofyou。Ifyouputashesonyourownhead，yourfellow—
beingswill，assistyou;forofsuchistheircharity。\"
And，receivinganotherofthoseclear，broodinglooks，heleftherwiththethought:’Alonelychild！’
VII
Noelwentbacktoherhospitalafteraweek’srest。Georgehaddonemoreforherthanhesuspected，forhissaying:\"Life’sahugewideadaptablething！\"hadstuckinhermind。Diditmatterwhathappenedtoher？Andsheusedtolookintothefacesofthepeopleshemet，andwonderwhatwasabsorbingthem。Whatsecretgriefsandjoysweretheycarryingaboutwiththem？Thelonelinessofherownlifenowforcedhertothisspeculationconcerningothers，forshewasextraordinarilylonely;GratianandGeorgewerebackatwork，herfathermustbekeptatbay;withLeilashefeltillatease，fortheconfessionhadhurtherpride;andfamilyfriendsandacquaintancesofallsortssheshunnedliketheplague。TheonlypersonshedidnotsucceedinavoidingwasJimmyFort，whocameinoneeveningafterdinner，bringingheralargebunchofhothouseviolets。Butthen，hedidnotseemtomatter——toonewanacquaintance，toodetached。
Somethinghesaidmadeherawarethathehadheardofherloss，andthatthevioletswereatokenofsympathy。Heseemedawfullykindthatevening，tellingher\"talesofAraby，\"andsayingnothingwhichwouldshockherfather。Itwaswonderfultobeamanandrollabouttheworldashehad，andseealllife，andqueerplaces，andpeople——Chinamen，andGauchos，andBoers，andMexicans。Itgaveherakindofthirst。Andshelikedtowatchhisbrown，humorousface;whichseemedmadeofdriedleather。Itgaveherthefeelingthatlifeandexperiencewereallthatmattered，doingandseeingthings;itmadeherowntroubleseemsmaller;lessimportant。Shesqueezedhishandwhenshesaidgoodnight:\"Thankyouformyvioletsandforcoming;
itwasawfullykindofyou！IwishIcouldhaveadventures！\"Andheanswered:\"Youwill，mydearfairyprincess！\"Hesaiditqueerlyandverykindly。
FairyPrincess！Whatafunnythingtocallher！Ifhehadonlyknown！
Therewerenotmanyadventurestobehadinthoseregionswhereshewashedup。Notmuch\"wideandadaptablelife\"totakeherthoughtsoffherself。Butonherjourneystoandfromthehospitalshehadmorethanoneoddlittleexperience。Onemorningshenoticedapoorlydressedwomanwitharedandswollenface，flappingalongRegentStreetlikeawoundedbird，andbitingstrangelyatherhand。
Hearinghergroan，Noelaskedherwhatthematterwas。Thewomanheldoutthehand。\"Oh！\"shemoaned，\"Iwasscrubbin’thefloorandIgotthisgreatneedlestuckthroughmy’and，andit’sbrokeoff，andIcan’tgetitout。Oh！Oh！\"Shebitattheneedle—end，notquitevisible，butalmostwithinreachofteeth，andsuddenlywentverywhite。Indismay，Noelputanarmroundher，andturnedherintoafinechemist’sshop。Severalladieswereinthere，buyingperfumes，andtheylookedwithacerbityatthisdisordereddirtyfemaleenteringamongthem。Noelwentuptoamanbehindthecounter。\"Pleasegivemesomethingquick，forthispoorwoman，I
thinkshe’sgoingtofaint。She’srunaneedlethroughherhand，andcan’tgetitout。\"Themangaveher\"somethingquick，\"andNoelpushedpasttwoofthedamesbacktowherethewomanwassitting。
Shewasstillobstinatelybitingatherhand，andsuddenlyherchinflewup，andthere，betweenherteeth，wastheneedle。Shetookitfromthemwithherotherhand，stuckitproudlyinthefrontofherdress，andouttumbledthewords:\"Oh！there——I’vegotit！\"
Whenshehadswallowedthedraught，shelookedroundher，bewildered，andsaid:
\"Thankyoukindly，miss！\"andshuffledout。Noelpaidforthedraught，andfollowed;and，behindher，theshiningshopseemedtoexhaleaperfumedbreathofrelief。
\"Youcan’tgobacktowork，\"shesaidtothewoman。\"Wheredoyoulive？\"
\"’Ornsey，miss。\"
\"Youmusttakea’busandgostraighthome，andputyourhandatonceintoweakCondy’sfluidandwater。It’sswelling。Here’sfiveshillings。\"
\"Yes，miss;thankyou，miss，I’msure。It’sverykindofyou。Itdoesachecruel。\"
\"Ifit’snotbetterthisafternoon，youmustgotoadoctor。
Promise！\"
\"Oh，dear，yes。’Ere’smy’bus。Thankyoukindly，miss。\"
Noelsawherborneaway，stillsuckingatherdirtyswollenhand。
Shewalkedoninaglowofloveforthepoorwoman，andhatefortheladiesinthechemist’sshop，andforgotherowntroubletillshehadalmostreachedthehospital。
AnotherNovemberday，aSaturday，leavingearly，shewalkedtoHydePark。Theplane—treeswerejustattheheightoftheirspottedbeauty。Few——veryfew—yellowleavesstillhung;andtheslenderprettytreesseemedrejoicingintheirfreedomfromsummerfoliage。
Alltheirdelicateboughsandtwigswereshakinganddancinginthewind;andtheirrain—washedleopard—likebodieshadalitheun—Englishgaiety。Noelpasseddowntheirline，andseatedherselfonabench。Closeby，anartistwaspainting。Hiseaselwasonlysomethreeyardsawayfromher，andshecouldseethepicture;avistaoftheParkLanehousesthrough，thegayplane—treescreen。Hewasatallman，aboutforty，evidentlyforeign，withathin，long，oval，beardlessface，highbrow，largegreyeyeswhichlookedasifhesufferedfromheadachesandlivedmuchwithinhimself。Hecastmanyglancesather，and，pursuantofhernewinterestin\"life\"shewatchedhimdiscreetly;alittlestartledhowever，when，takingoffhisbroad—brimmedsquashhat，hesaidinabrokenaccent:
\"ForgivemethelibertyItake，mademoiselle，butwouldyousoverykindlyallowmetomakeasketchofyousittingthere？Iworkveryquick。Ibegyouwillletme。IamBelgian，andhavenomanners，yousee。\"Andhesmiled。
\"Ifyoulike，\"saidNoel。
\"Ithankyouverymuch:\"
Heshiftedhiseasel，andbegantodraw。Shefeltflattered，andalittlefluttered。Hewassopale，andhadacurious，half—fedlook，whichmovedher。
\"HaveyoubeenlonginEngland？\"shesaidpresently。
\"Eversincethefirstmonthsofthewar。\"
\"Doyoulikeit？\"
\"Iwasveryhomesickatfirst。ButIliveinmypictures;therearewonderfulthingsinLondon。\"
\"Whydidyouwanttosketchme？\"
Thepaintersmiledagain。\"Mademoiselle，youthissomysterious。
ThoseyoungtreesIhavebeenpaintingmeansomuchmorethantheoldbigtrees。Youreyesareseeingthingsthathavenotyethappened。
ThereisFateinthem，andalookofdefendingusothersfromseeingit。Wehavenotsuchfacesinmycountry;wearesimpler;wedonotdefendourexpressions。TheEnglishareverymysterious。Wearelikechildrentothem。Yetinsomewaysyouarelikechildrentous。
Youarenotpeopleoftheworldatall。YouEnglishhavebeengoodtous，butyoudonotlikeus。\"
\"AndIsupposeyoudonotlikeus，either？\"
Hesmiledagain，andshenoticedhowwhitehisteethwere。
\"Well，notverymuch。TheEnglishdothingsfromduty，buttheirheartstheykeeptothemselves。AndtheirArt——well，thatisreallyamusing！\"
\"Idon’tknowmuchaboutArt，\"Noelmurmured。
\"Itistheworldtome，\"saidthepainter，andwassilent，drawingwithincreasedpaceandpassion。
\"Itissodifficulttogetsubjects，\"heremarkedabruptly。\"I
cannotaffordtopaymodels，andtheyarenotfondofmepaintingoutofdoors。IfIhadalwaysasubjectlikeyou！You——youhaveagrief，haveyounot？\"
Atthatstartlinglittlequestion，Noellookedup，frowning。
\"Everybodyhas，now。\"
Thepaintergraspedhischin;hiseyeshadsuddenlybecometragical。
\"Yes，\"hesaid，\"everybody。Tragedyisdailybread。Ihavelostmyfamily;theyareinBelgium。HowtheyliveIdonotknow。\"
\"I’msorry;verysorry，too，ifwearen’tnicetoyou，here。Weoughttobe。\"
Heshruggedhisshoulders。\"Whatwouldyouhave？Wearedifferent。
Thatisunpardonable。Anartistisalwayslonely，too;hehasaskinfewerthanotherpeople，andheseesthingsthattheydonot。Peopledonotlikeyoutobedifferent。Ifeverinyourlifeyouactdifferentlyfromothers，youwillfinditso，mademoiselle。\"
Noelfeltherselfflushing。Washereadinghersecret？Hiseyeshadsuchapeculiar，secondsightedlook。
\"Haveyounearlyfinished？\"sheasked。
\"No，mademoiselle;Icouldgoonforhours;butIdonotwishtokeepyou。Itiscoldforyou，sittingthere。\"
Noelgotup。\"MayIlook？\"
\"Certainly。\"
Shedidnotquiterecogniseherself——whodoes？——butshesawafacewhichaffectedheroddly，ofagirllookingatsomethingwhichwas，andyetwasnot，infrontofher。
\"MynameisLavendie，\"thepaintersaid;\"mywifeandIlivehere，\"
