第10章

类别:其他 作者:Galsworthy, John字数:10785更新时间:18/12/18 13:58:46
\"Ah!\"hesaid,\"whatbeauty!Andtheydon’tseeit——notoneinathousand!Pity,isn’tit?Beautyistheholything!\" Fort,inhisturn,shruggedhisshoulders。\"Everymantohisvision!\"hesaid。\"Myleg’sbeginningtobotherme;I’mafraidI musttakeacab。Here’smyaddress;anytimeyouliketocome。I’mofteninaboutseven。Ican’ttakeyouanywhere,Isuppose?\" \"Athousandthanks,monsieur;butIgonorth。Ilovedyourwordsaboutthepack。Ioftenwakeatnightandhearthehowlingofallthepacksoftheworld。Thosewhoarebynaturegentlenowadaysfeeltheyarestrangersinafarland。Goodnight,monsieur!\" Hetookoffhisqueerhat,bowedlow,andcrossedoutintotheStrand,likeonewhohadcomeinadream,andfadedoutwiththewaking。Forthailedacab,andwenthome,stillseeingNoel’sface。 Therewasone,ifyouliked,waitingtobethrowntothewolves,waitingfortheworld’spacktobeginhowlingroundher——thatlovelychild;andthefirst,theloudestofallthepack,perhaps,mustbeherownfather,thelean,darkfigurewiththegentleface,andtheburntbrighteyes。Whataghastlybusiness!HisdreamsthatnightwerenotsuchasLeilawouldhaveapproved。 IX Wheninthecupboardthereisarealandverybonyskeleton,carefullykeptfromthesightofasinglememberofthefamily,thepositionofthatmemberisliabletobecomelonely。ButPierson,whohadbeenlonelyfifteenyears,didnotfeelitsomuch,perhaps,asmostmenwouldhave。Inhisdreamynaturetherewasacuriousself— sufficiency,whichonlyviolentshocksdisturbed,andhewentonwithhisroutineofduty,whichhadbecomeforhimassetasthepavementshetrodonhiswaytoandfromit。Itwasnotexactlytrue,asthepainterhadsaid,thatthisroutinedidnotbringhimintotouchwithlife。Afterallhesawpeoplewhentheywereborn,whentheymarried,whentheydied。Hehelpedthemwhentheywantedmoney,andwhentheywereill;hetoldtheirchildrenBiblestoriesonSundayafternoons;heservedthosewhowereinneedwithsoupandbreadfromhissoupkitchen。Heneversparedhimselfinanyway,andhisearswerealwaysattheserviceoftheirwoes。Andyethedidnotunderstandthem,andtheyknewthat。Itwasasthoughhe,orthey,werecolour—blind。Thevalueswerealldifferent。Hewasseeingonesetofobjects,theyanother。 Onestreetofhisparishtouchedamainlineofthoroughfare,andformedalittlepartofthenewhunting—groundsofwomen,who,chasedforthfromtheirusualhauntsbytheAuthoritiesunderpressureofthecountry’sdanger,nowpursuedtheircallinginthedark。ThisparticularevilhadalwaysbeenasortofnightmaretoPierson。Thestarvationwhichruledhisownexistenceinclinedhimtoaparticularlysevereviewandseveritywasnothisstrongpoint。Inconsequencetherewaseverwithinhimasortofverypersonalandpoignantstrugglegoingonbeneaththatseemingattitudeofrigiddisapproval。Hejoinedthehunters,asitwere,becausehewasafraid—not,ofcourse,ofhisowninstincts,forhewasfastidious,agentleman,andapriest,butofbeinglenienttoasin,tosomethingwhichGodabhorred:Hewas,asitwere,boundtotakeaprofessionalviewofthisparticularoffence。Wheninhiswalksabroadhepassedoneofthesewomen,hewouldunconsciouslypursehislips,andfrown。 Thedarknessofthestreetsseemedtolendthemsuchpower,suchunholysovereigntyoverthenight。Theyweresuchadangertothesoldiers,too;andinturn,thesoldiersweresuchadangertothelambsofhisflock。Domesticdisastersinhisparishcametohisearsfromtimetotime;casesofyounggirlswhoseheadswereturnedbysoldiers,sothattheywereabouttobecomemothers。Theyseemedtohimpitifulindeed;buthecouldnotforgivethemfortheirgiddiness,forputtingtemptationinthewayofbraveyoungmen,fighting,orabouttofight。Theglamourwhichsurroundedsoldierswasnotexcuseenough。Whenthebabieswereborn,andcametohisnotice,heconsultedaCommitteehehadformed,ofthreemarriedandtwomaidenladies,whovisitedthemothers,andifnecessarytookthebabiesintoacreche;forthosebabieshadanewvaluetothecountry,andwerenot——poorlittlethings!——tobeheldresponsiblefortheirmothers’faults。Hehimselfsawlittleoftheyoungmothers;shyofthem,secretlyafraid,perhaps,ofnotbeingcensoriousenough。ButonceinawayLifesethimfacetofacewithone。 OnNewYear’sEvehewassittinginhisstudyaftertea,atthathourwhichhetriedtokeepforhisparishioners,whenaMrs。Mitchettwasannounced,asmallbookseller’swife,whomheknewforanoccasionalCommunicant。Shecamein,accompaniedbyayoungdark—eyedgirlinaloosemouse—colouredcoat。Athisinvitationtheysatdowninfrontofthelongbookcaseonthetwogreenleatherchairswhichhadgrownwornintheserviceoftheparish;and,screwedroundinhischairatthebureau,withhislongmusician’sfingerspressedtogether,helookedatthemandwaited。Thewomanhadtakenoutherhandkerchief,andwaswipinghereyes;butthegirlsatquiet,asthemouseshesomewhatresembledinthatcoat。 \"Yes,Mrs。Mitchett?\"Hesaidgently,atlast。 Thewomanputawayherhandkerchief,sniffedresolutely,andbegan: \"It’s’Ilda,sir。SuchathingMitchettandmenevercould’aveexpected,comin’onussosudden。Ithoughtitbesttobring,’erround,poorgirl。Ofcourse,it’sallthewar。I’vewarned’eradozentimes;butthereitis,comin’nextmonth,andthemaninFrance。\"Piersoninstinctivelyavertedhisgazefromthegirl,whohadnotmovedhereyesfromhisface,whichshescannedwithaseemingabsenceofinterest,asifshehadlonggivenupthinkingoverherlot,andleftitnowtoothers。 \"Thatissad,\"hesaid;\"very,verysad。\" \"Yes,\"murmuredMrs。Mitchett;\"that’swhatItell’Ilda。\" Thegirl’sglance,loweredforasecond,resumeditsimpersonalscrutinyofPierson’sface。 \"Whatistheman’snameandregiment?PerhapswecangetleaveforhimtocomehomeandmarryHildaatonce。\" Mrs。Mitchettsniffed。\"Shewon’tgiveit,sir。Now,’Ilda,giveittoMr。Pierson。\"Andhervoicehadarealnoteofentreaty。Thegirlshookherhead。Mrs。Mitchettmurmureddolefully:\"That’s’owsheis,sir;notawordwillshesay。AndasItellher,wecanonlythinktheremust’avebeenmorethanone。Andthatdoesputustoshameso!\" Butstillthegirlmadenosign。 \"Youspeaktoher,sir;I’mreallyatmywit’send。\" \"Whywon’tyoutellus?\"saidPierson。\"Themanwillwanttodotherightthing,’I’msure。\" Thegirlshookherhead,andspokeforthefirsttime。 \"Idon’tknowhisname。\" Mrs。Mitchett’sfacetwitched。 \"Oh,dear!\"shesaid:\"Thinkofthat!She’sneversaidasmuchtous。\" \"Notknowhisname?\"Piersonmurmured。\"Buthow——howcouldyou——\" hestopped,buthisfacehaddarkened。\"Surelyyouwouldneverhavedonesuchathingwithoutaffection?Come,tellme!\" \"Idon’tknowit,\"thegirlrepeated。 \"It’stheseParks,\"saidMrs。Mitchett,frombehindherhandkerchief。\"Andtothinkthatthis’llbeourfirstgrandchildandall!’Ildaisdifficult;asquiet,asquiet;butthatstubborn——\" Piersonlookedatthegirl,whoseemed,ifanything,lessinterestedthanever。Thisimpenetrabilityandsomethingmulishinherattitudeannoyedhim。\"Ican’tthink,\"hesaid,\"howyoucouldsohaveforgottenyourself。It’strulygrievous。\" Mrs。Mitchettmurmured:\"Yes,sir;thegirlsgetsitintotheirheadsthatthere’sgoingtobenoyoungmenforthem。\" \"That’sright,\"saidthegirlsullenly。 Pierson’slipsgrewtighter。\"Well,whatcanIdoforyou,Mrs。 Mitchett?\"hesaid。\"Doesyourdaughtercometochurch?\" Mrs。Mitchettshookherheadmournfully。\"Neversinceshehadherbyke。\" Piersonrosefromhischair。Theoldstory!Controlanddisciplineundermined,andthesebitterapplestheresult! \"Well,\"hesaid,\"ifyouneedourcreche,youhaveonlytocometome,\"andheturnedtothegirl。\"Andyou——won’tyouletthisdreadfulexperiencemoveyourheart?Mydeargirl,wemustallmasterourselves,ourpassions,andourfoolishwilfulness,especiallyinthesetimeswhenourcountryneedsusstrong,andself— disciplined,notthinkingofourselves。I’msureyou’reagoodgirlatheart。\" Thegirl’sdarkeyes,unmovedfromhisface,rousedinhimaspasmofnervousirritation。\"Yoursoulisingreatdanger,andyou’reveryunhappy,Icansee。TurntoGodforhelp,andinHismercyeverythingwillbemadesodifferentforyou——soverydifferent! Come!\" Thegirlsaidwithasortofsurprisingquietness:\"Idon’twantthebaby!\" Theremarkstaggeredhim,almostasifshehadutteredahideousoath。 ’Ildawasinmunitions,\"saidhermotherinanexplanatoryvoice: \"earnin’amatteroffourpoundaweek。Oh!dear,itisawastean’ all!\"Aqueer,ratherterriblelittlesmilecurledPierson’slips。 \"Ajudgment!\"hesaid。\"Goodevening,Mrs。Mitchett。Goodevening,Hilda。Ifyouwantmewhenthetimecomes,sendforme。\" Theystoodup;heshookhandswiththem;andwassuddenlyawarethatthedoorwasopen,andNoelstandingthere。Hehadheardnosound; andhowlongshehadbeentherehecouldnottell。Therewasasingularfixityinherfaceandattitude。Shewasstaringatthegirl,who,asshepassed,liftedherface,sothatthedarkeyesandthegreyeyesmet。Thedoorwasshut,andNoelstoodtherealonewithhim。 \"Aren’tyouearly,mychild?\"saidPierson。\"Youcameinveryquietly。\" \"Yes;Iheard。\" Aslightshockwentthroughhimatthetoneofhervoice;herfacehadthatpossessedlookwhichhealwaysdreaded。\"Whatdidyouhear?\"hesaid。 \"Iheardyousay:’Ajudgment!’You’llsaythesametome,won’tyou?Only,Idowantmybaby。\" Shewasstandingwithherbacktothedoor,overwhichadarkcurtainhung;herfacelookedyoungandsmallagainstitsstuff,hereyesverylarge。Withonehandshepluckedatherblouse,justoverherheart。 Piersonstaredather,andgrippedthebackofthechairhehadbeensittingin。Alifetimeofrepressionservedhiminthehalf—realisedhorrorofthatmoment。Hestammeredoutthesingleword\"Nollie!\" \"It’squitetrue,\"shesaid,turnedround,andwentout。 Piersonhadasortofvertigo;ifhehadmoved,hemusthavefallendown。Nollie!Heslidroundandsankintohischair,andbysomehorriblecruelfictionofhisnerves,heseemedtofeelNoelonhisknee,as,whenalittlegirl,shehadbeenwonttosit,withherfairhairfluffingagainsthischeek。Heseemedtofeelthathairticklinghisskin;itusedtobethegreatestcomforthehadknownsincehermotherdied。Atthatmomenthisprideshrivelledlikeaflowerheldtoaflame;allthatabundantsecretprideofafatherwholovesandadmires,whoworshipsstilladeadwifeinthechildrenshehaslefthim;who,humblebynature,yetneverknowshowproudheistillthebitterthinghappens;allthelongprideofthepriestwho,bydintofexhortationandremonstrancehascoatedhimselfinasuperiorityhehardlysuspects——allthisprideshrivelledinhim。 Thensomethingwrithedandcriedwithin,asatorturedbeastcries,atlosstoknowwhyitisbeingtortured。Howmanytimeshasnotamanusedthosewords:\"MyGod!MyGod!WhyhastThouforsakenme!\" Hesprangupandtriedtopacehiswayoutofthiscageofconfusion: Histhoughtsandfeelingsmadethestrangestmedley,spiritualandworldly——Socialostracism——hersoulinperil——atrialsentbyGod! Thefuture!Imaginationfailedhim。Hewenttohislittlepiano,openedit,closeditagain;tookhishat,andstoleout。Hewalkedfast,withoutknowingwhere。Itwasverycold——aclear,bitterevening。Silentrapidmotioninthefrostyairwassomerelief。AsNoelhadfledfromhim,havingutteredhernews,sodidheflyfromher。Theafflictedwalkfast。Hewassoondownbytheriver,andturnedWestalongitswall。Themoonwasup,brightandnearlyfull,andthesteel—likeshimmerofitslightburnishedtheebbingwater。 Acruelnight!HecametotheObelisk,andleanedagainstit,overcomebyaspasmofrealisation。Heseemedtoseehisdeadwife’sfacestaringathimoutofthepast,likeanaccusation。\"HowhaveyoucaredforNollie,thatsheshouldhavecometothis?\"Itbecamethefaceofthemoonlitsphinx,staringstraightathim,thebroaddarkfacewithwidenostrils,cruellips,fulleyesblankofpupils,alllivenedandwhitenedbythemoonlight——anembodimentofthemarvellousunseeingenergyofLife,twistingandturningheartswithoutmercy。Hegazedintothoseeyeswithasortofscareddefiance。Thegreatclawedpawsofthebeast,thestrengthandremorselessserenityofthatcrouchingcreaturewithhumanhead,madelivingbyhisimaginationandthemoonlight,seemedtohimlikeatemptationtodenyGod,likearefutationofhumanvirtue。 Then,thesenseofbeautystirredinhim;hemovedwherehecouldseeitsflankscoatedinsilverbythemoonlight,theribsandthegreatmuscles,andthetailwithtipcoiledoverthehaunch,liketheheadofaserpent。Itwasweirdlyliving;fineandcruel,thatgreatman— madething。Itexpressedsomethinginthesoulofman,pitilessandremotefromlove——orrather,theremorselessnesswhichmanhadseen,lurkingwithinman’sfate。Piersonrecoiledfromit,andresumedhismarchalongtheEmbankment,almostdesertedinthebittercold。Hecametowhere,intheopeningoftheUndergroundrailway,hecouldseethelittleformsofpeoplemoving,littleorangeandredlightsglowing。Thesightarrestedhimbyitswarmthandmotion。Wasitnotalladream?Thatwomanandherdaughter,hadtheyreallycome? HadnotNoelbeenbutanapparition,herwordsatrickwhichhisnerveshadplayedhim?Then,toovividlyagain,hesawherfaceagainstthedarkstuffofthecurtain,thecurveofherhandpluckingatherblouse,heardthesoundofhisownhorrified:\"Nollie!\"Noillusion,nodeception!Theedificeofhislifewasinthedust。 Andaqueerandghastlycompanyoffacescameabouthim;faceshehadthoughtfriendly,ofgoodmenandwomenwhomheknew,yetatthatmomentdidnotknow,allgatheredroundNoel,withfingerspointingather。Hestaggeredbackfromthatvision,couldnotbearit,couldnotrecognisethiscalamity。Withasortofcomfort,yetanachingsenseofunreality,hismindflewtoallthosesummerholidaysspentinScotland,Ireland,Cornwall,Wales,bymountainandlake,withhistwogirls;whatsunsets,andturningleaves,birds,beasts,andinsectstheyhadwatchedtogether!Fromtheiryouthfulcompanionship,theireagerness,theirconfidenceinhim,hehadknownsomuchwarmthandpleasure。Ifallthosememoriesweretrue,surelythiscouldnotbetrue。Hefeltsuddenlythathemusthurryback,gostraighttoNoel,tellherthatshehadbeencrueltohim,orassurehimselfthat,forthemoment,shehadbeeninsane:Histemperrosesuddenly,tookfire。Hefeltangeragainsther,againsteveryoneheknew,againstlifeitself。Thrustinghishandsdeepintothepocketsofhisthinblackovercoat,heplungedintothatnarrowglowingtunnelofthestationbooking—office,whichledbacktothecrowdedstreets。Butbythetimehereachedhomehisangerhadevaporated; hefeltnothingbututterlassitude。Itwasnineo’clock,andthemaidshadclearedthediningtable。IndespairNoelhadgoneuptoherroom。Hehadnocourageleft,andsatdownsupperlessathislittlepiano,lettinghisfingersfindsoftpainfulharmonies,sothatNoelperhapsheardthefaintfarthrummingofthatmusicthroughuneasydreams。Andtherehestayed,tillitbecametimeforhimtogoforthtotheOldYear’sMidnightService。 Whenhereturned,Piersonwrappedhimselfinarugandlaydownontheoldsofainhisstudy。Themaid,cominginnextmorningto\"do\" thegrate,foundhimstillasleep。Shestoodcontemplatinghiminawe;abroad—faced,kindly,fresh—colouredgirl。Helaywithhisfacerestingonhishand,hisdark,justgrizzlinghairunruffled,asifhehadnotstirredallnight;hisotherhandclutchedtherugtohischest,andhisbootedfeetprotrudedbeyondit。Toheryoungeyeshelookedratherappallinglyneglected。Shegazedwithinterestatthehollowsinhischeeks,andthefurrowsinhisbrow,andthelips,dark—moustachedandbearded,sotightlycompressed,evenin。 sleep。Beingholydidn’tmakeamanhappy,itseemed!Whatfascinatedherwerethecinderyeyelashesrestingonthecheeks,thefaintmovementoffaceandbodyashebreathed,thegentlehissofbreathescapingthroughthetwitchingnostrils。Shemovednearer,bendingdownoverhim,withthechildlikenotionofcountingthoselashes。Herlipspartedinreadinesstosay:\"Oh!\"ifhewaked。 Somethinginhisface,andthelittletwitcheswhichpassedoverit,madeherfeel\"thatsorry\"forhim。Hewasagentleman,hadmoney,preachedtohereverySunday,andwasnotsoveryold——whatmorecouldamanwant?Andyet——helookedsotired,withthosecheeks。 Shepitiedhim;helplessandlonelyheseemedtoher,asleepthereinsteadofgoingtobedproperly。Andsighing,shetiptoedtowardsthedoor。 \"Isthatyou,Bessie?\" Thegirlturned:\"Yes,sir。I’msorryIwokeyou,sir。’AppyNewYear,sir!\" \"Ah,yes。AHappyNewYear,Bessie。\" Shesawhisusualsmile,sawitdie,andafixedlookcomeonhisface;itscaredher,andshehurriedaway。Piersonhadremembered。 Forfullfiveminuteshelaytherestaringatnothing。Thenherose,foldedtherugmechanically,andlookedattheclock。Eight!Hewentupstairs,knockedonNoel’sdoor,andentered。 Theblindsweredrawnup,butshewasstillinbed。Hestoodlookingdownather。\"AHappyNewYear,mychild!\"hesaid;andhetrembledallover,shiveringvisibly。Shelookedsoyoungandinnocent,soround—facedandfresh,afterhernight’ssleep,thatthethoughtsprangupinhimagain:’Itmusthavebeenadream!’Shedidnotmove,butaslowflushcameupinhercheeks。Nodream——dream!Hesaidtremulously:\"Ican’trealise。I——IhopedIhadheardwrong。 Didn’tI,Nollie?Didn’tI?\" Shejustshookherhead。 \"Tellme——everything,\"hesaid;\"forGod’ssake!\" Hesawherlipsmoving,andcaughtthemurmur:Theresnothingmore。 GratianandGeorgeknow,andLeila。Itcan’tbeundone,Daddy。 PerhapsIwouldn’thavewantedtomakesure,ifyouhadn’ttriedtostopCyrilandme——andI’mgladsometimes,becauseIshallhavesomethingofhis——\"Shelookedupathim。\"Afterall,it’sthesame,really;only,there’snoring。It’snogoodtalkingtomenow,asifIhadn’tbeenthinkingofthisforages。I’musedtoanythingyoucansay;I’vesaidittomyself,yousee。There’snothingbuttomakethebestofit。\" Herhothandcameoutfromunderthebedclothes,andclutchedhisverytight。Herflushhaddeepened,andhereyesseemedtohimtoglitter。 \"Oh,Daddy!Youdolooktired!Haven’tyoubeentobed?PoorDaddy!\" Thathotclutch,andthewords:\"PoorDaddy!\"broughttearsintohiseyes。Theyrolledslowlydowntohisbeard,andhecoveredhisfacewiththeotherhand。Hergriptightenedconvulsively;suddenlyshedraggedittoherlips,kissedit,andletitdrop。 \"Don’t!\"shesaid,andturnedawayherface。 Piersoneffacedhisemotion,andsaidquitecalmly: \"Shallyouwishtobeathome,mydear,ortogoelsewhere?\" Noelhadbeguntotossherheadonherpillow,likeafeverishchildwhosehairgetsinitseyesandmouth。 \"Oh!Idon’tknow;whatdoesitmatter?\" \"Kestrel;wouldyouliketogothere?Youraunt——Icouldwritetoher。\"Noelstaredathimamoment;astruggleseemedgoingonwithinher。 \"Yes,\"shesaid,\"Iwould。Only,notUncleBob。\" \"Perhapsyourunclewouldcomeuphere,andkeepmecompany。\" Sheturnedherfaceaway,andthattossingmovementofthelimbsbeneaththeclothesbeganagain。\"Idon’tcare,\"shesaid; \"anywhere——itdoesn’tmatter。\" Piersonputhischillyhandonherforehead。\"Gently!\"hesaid,andkneltdownbythebed。\"MercifulFather,\"hemurmured,\"giveusstrengthtobearthisdreadfultrial。Keepmybelovedchildsafe,andbringherpeace;andgivemetounderstandhowIhavedonewrong,howIhavefailedtowardsThee,andher。Inallthingschastenandstrengthenher,mychild,andme。\" Histhoughtsmovedonintheconfused,inarticulatesuspenseofprayer,tillheheardhersay:\"Youhaven’tfailed;whydoyoutalkoffailing——itisn’ttrue;anddon’tprayforme,Daddy。\" Piersonraisedhimself,andmovedbackfromthebed。Herwordsconfoundedhim,yethewasafraidtoanswer。Shepushedherheaddeepintothepillow,andlaylookingupattheceiling。 \"Ishallhaveason;Cyrilwon’tquitehavedied。AndIdon’twanttobeforgiven。\" Hedimlyperceivedwhatlongdumbprocessesofthoughtandfeelinghadgoneoninhertoproducethishardenedstateofmind,whichtohimseemedalmostblasphemous。Andintheverymidstofthisturmoilinhisheart,hecouldnothelpthinkinghowlovelyherfacelooked,lyingbacksothatthecurveofherthroatwasbared,withtheshorttendrilsofhaircoilingaboutit。Thatflung—backhead,movingrestlesslyfromsidetosideintheheatofthesoftpillow,hadsuchapassionofprotestinglifeinit!Andhekeptsilence。 \"Iwantyoutoknowitwasallme。ButIcan’tpretend。OfcourseI’lltryandnotletithurtyoumorethanIpossiblycan。I’msorryforyou,poorDaddy;oh!I’msorryforyou!\"Withamovementincrediblylitheandswift,sheturnedandpressedherfacedowninthepillow,sothatallhecouldseewashertumbledhairandthebedclothestremblingabovehershoulders。Hetriedtostrokethathair,butsheshookherheadfree,andhestoleout。 Shedidnotcometobreakfast;andwhenhisownwretchedmealwasover,themechanismofhisprofessionallifecaughthimagainatonce。NewYear’sDay!Hehadmuchtodo。Hehad,beforeall,tobeofacheerfulcountenancebeforehisflock,togreetallandanywithanairofhopeandcourage。 X 1 ThirzaPierson,seeingherbrother—in—law’shandwriting,naturallysaid:\"Here’saletterfromTed。\" BobPierson,withamouthfullofsausage,asnaturallyresponded: \"Whatdoeshesay?\" Inreadingon,shefoundthattoanswerthatquestionwasoneofthemostdifficulttaskseversether。Itsnewsmovedanddisturbedherdeeply。Underherwingthisdisasterhadhappened!Downherehadbeenwroughtthismostdeplorablemiracle,fraughtwithsuchdislocationoflives!Noel’sface,absorbedandpassionate,outsidethedoorofherroomonthenightwhenCyrilMorlandwentaway——herinstincthadbeenright! \"Hewantsyoutogoupandstaywithhim,Bob。\" \"Whynotbothofus?\" \"HewantsNollietocomedowntome;she’snotwell。\" \"Notwell?What’sthematter?\" Totellhimseemeddisloyaltytohersex;nottotellhim,disloyaltytoherhusband。Asimpleconsiderationoffactandnotofprinciple,decidedher。Hewouldcertainlysayinamoment:’Here!Pitchitover!’andshewouldhaveto。Shesaidtranquilly: \"YourememberthatnightwhenCyrilMorlandwentaway,andNoelbehavedsostrangely。Well,mydear;sheisgoingtohaveachildatthebeginningofApril。Thepoorboyisdead,Bob;hediedfortheCountry。\" Shesawtheredtideflowupintohisface。 \"What!\" \"PoorEdwardisdreadfullyupset。Wemustdowhatwecan。Iblamemyself。\"Byinstinctsheusedthosewords。 \"Blameyourself?Stuff!Thatyoung——!\"Hestopped。 Thirzasaidquietly:\"No,Bob;ofthetwo,I’msureitwasNoel;shewasdesperatethatday。Don’tyourememberherface?Oh!thiswar! It’sturnedthewholeworldupsidedown。That’stheonlycomfort; nothing’snormal\" BobPiersonpossessedbeyondmostmenthesecretofhappiness,forhewasalwaysabsorbedinthemoment,tothepointofunself— consciousness。Eatinganegg,cuttingdownatree,sittingonaTribunal,makinguphisaccounts,plantingpotatoes,lookingatthemoon,ridinghiscob,readingtheLessons——nopartofhimstoodasidetoseehowhewasdoingit,orwonderwhyhewasdoingit,ornotdoingitbetter。Hegrewlikeacork—tree,andactedlikeasturdyandwell—natureddog。Hisgriefs,angers,andenjoymentsweresimpleasachild’s,orashissomewhatnoisyslumbers。Theywerenotablywell—suited,forThirzahadthesamesecretofhappiness,thoughher,absorptioninthemomentdidnot——asbecameawoman——preventherbeingconsciousofothers;indeed,suchformedthechiefsubjectofherabsorptions。Onemightsaythattheyneitherofthemhadphilosophyyetwereasphilosophicacoupleasonecouldmeetonthisearthoftheself—conscious。Dailylifetothesetwowasstillofsimplesavour。Tobeabsorbedinlife——thequeerendlesstissueofmomentsandthingsfeltanddoneandsaidandmade,theoddinspiritingconjunctionsofcountlesspeople——wasnaturaltothem; buttheyneverthoughtwhethertheywereabsorbedornot,orhadanyparticularattitudetoLifeorDeath——agreatblessingattheepochinwhichtheywereliving。 BobPierson,then,pacedtheroom,soabsorbedinhisdismayandconcern,thathewasalmosthappy。 \"ByJove!\"hesaid,\"whataghastlything! Nollie,ofallpeople!Ifeelperfectlywretched,Thirza;wretchedbeyondwords。\"Butwitheachrepetitionhisvoicegrewcheerier,andThirzafeltthathewasalreadyovertheworst。 \"Yourcoffee’sgettingcold!\"shesaid。 \"Whatdoyouadvise?ShallIgoup,heh?\" \"Ithinkyou’llbeagodsendtopoorTed;you’llkeephisspiritsup。