第12章

类别:其他 作者:Galsworthy, John字数:11142更新时间:18/12/18 13:58:46
Itwassomuchmoreregularandnaturallikethat,and\"her\"babyinvestedwithhisproperdignity。Shewentdownstairstogeta\"cupo’tea,\"thinking:’Apicturetheymake——thattheydo,blesshislittleheart;andhisprettylittlemother——nomorethanachild,allsaidanddone。’ Noelhadbeenstandingtheresomeminutesinthefailinglight,absorbedinthefaceofthesleepingbaby,when,raisinghereyes,shesawinamirrortherefectionofherfather’sdarkfigurebythedoor。Shecouldhearhimbreathingasiftheascentofthestairshadtiredhim;andmovingtotheheadofthecot,sherestedherhandonit,andturnedherfacetowardshim。Hecameupandstoodbesideher,lookingsilentlydownatthebaby。ShesawhimmakethesignoftheCrossaboveit,andthemovementofhislipsinprayer。Loveforherfather,andrebellionagainstthisintercessionforherperfectbabyfoughtsohardinthegirl’sheartthatshefeltsuffocated,andgladofthedark,sothathecouldnotseehereyes。 Thenhetookherhandandputittohislips,butstillwithoutaword;andforthelifeofhershecouldnotspeakeither。Insilence,hekissedherforehead;andtheremountedinNoelasuddenpassionoflongingtoshowhimherprideandloveforherbaby。Sheputherfingerdownandtouchedoneofhishands。Thetinysleepingfingersuncurledand,likesomelittleseaanemone,clutchedroundit。Sheheardherfatherdrawhisbreathin;sawhimturnawayquickly,silently,andgoout。Andshestayed,hardlybreathing,withthehandofherbabysqueezingherfinger。 II 1 WhenEdwardPierson,afraidofhisownemotion,leftthetwilitnursery,heslippedintohisownroom,andfellonhiskneesbesidehisbed,absorbedinthevisionhehadseen。ThatyoungfigureinMadonnablue,withthehaloofbrighthair;thesleepingbabeinthefinedusk;thesilence,theadorationinthatwhiteroom!Hesaw,too;avisionofthepast,whenNoelherselfhadbeenthesleepingbabewithinhermother’sarm,andhehadstoodbesidethem,wonderingandgivingpraise。Itpassedwithitsother—worldlinessandthefineholinesswhichbelongstobeauty,passedandleftthetormentingrealismoflife。Ah!tolivewithonlytheinnermeaning,spiritualandbeautifed,inararewondermentsuchashehadexperiencedjustnow! Hisalarumclock,whilehekneltinhisnarrow,monkishlittleroom—— tickedtheeveninghourawayintodarkness。Andstillheknelt,dreadingtocomebackintoitall,tofacetheworld’seyes,andthesoundoftheworld’stongue,andthetouchoftherough,thegross,theunseemly。Howcouldheguardhischild?Howpreservethatvisioninherlife,inherspirit,abouttoentersuchcold,roughwaters?Butthegongsounded;hegotup,andwentdownstairs。 Butthisfirstfamilymoment,whichallhaddreaded,wasrelieved,asdreadedmomentssooftenare,bytheunexpectedappearanceoftheBelgianpainter。Hehadageneralinvitation,ofwhichheoftenavailedhimself;buthewassosilent,andhisthin,beardlessface,whichseemedalleyesandbrow,somournful,thatallthreefeltinthepresenceofasorrowdeepereventhantheirownfamilygrief。 DuringthemealhegazedsilentlyatNoel。Oncehesaid:\"Youwillletmepaintyounow,mademoiselle,Ihope?\"andhisfacebrightenedalittlewhenshenodded。Therewasnevermuchtalkwhenhecame,foranydepthofdiscussion,evenofart,broughtoutatoncetoowideadifference。AndPiersoncouldneveravoidavagueirritationwithonewhoclearlyhadspirituality,butofasortwhichhecouldnotunderstand。Afterdinnerheexcusedhimself,andwentofftohisstudy。Monsieurwouldbehappieralonewiththetwogirls!Gratian,too,gotup。ShehadrememberedNoel’swords:\"Imindhimlessthananybody。\"ItwasachanceforNollietobreaktheice。 2 \"Ihavenotseenyouforalongtime,mademoiselle,\"saidthepainter,whentheywerealone。 Noelwassittinginfrontoftheemptydrawing—roomhearth,withherarmsstretchedoutasiftherehadbeenafirethere。 \"I’vebeenaway。Howareyougoingtopaintme,monsieur?\" \"Inthatdress,mademoiselle;Justasyouarenow,warmingyourselfatthefireoflife。\" \"Butitisn’tthere。\" \"Yes,firessoongoout。Mademoiselle,willyoucomeandseemywife?Sheisill。\" \"Now?\"askedNoel,startled。 \"Yes,now。Sheisreallyill,andIhavenoonethere。ThatiswhatIcametoaskofyoursister;but——nowyouarehere,it’sevenbetter。Shelikesyou。\" Noelgotup。\"Waitoneminute!\"shesaid,andranupstairs。Herbabywasasleep,andtheoldnursedozing。Puttingonacloakandcapofgreyrabbit’sfur,sherandownagaintothehallwherethepainterwaswaiting;andtheywentouttogether。 \"IdonotknowifIamtoblame,\"hesaid,\"mywifehasbeennorealwifetomesincesheknewIhadamistressandwasnorealhusbandtoher。\" Noelstaredroundathisfacelightedbyaqueer,smile。 \"Yes,\"hewenton,\"fromthathascomehertragedy。ButsheshouldhaveknownbeforeImarriedher。Nothingwasconcealed。BonDieu! sheshouldhaveknown!Whycannotawomanseethingsastheyare? Mymistress,mademoiselle,isnotathingofflesh。Itismyart。 Ithasalwaysbeenfirstwithme,andalwayswill。Shehasneveracceptedthat,sheisincapableofacceptingit。Iamsorryforher。 Butwhatwouldyou?Iwasafooltomarryher。Cheremademoiselle,notroublesareanythingbesidethetroublewhichgoesondayandnight,mealaftermeal,year,afteryear,betweentwopeoplewhoshouldneverhavemarried,becauseonelovestoomuchandrequiresall,andtheotherlovesnotatall——no,notatall,now,itislongdead——andcangivebutlittle。\" \"Can’tyouseparate?\"askedNoel,wondering。 \"Itishardtoseparatefromonewhocravesforyouasshecravesherdrugs——yes,shetakesdrugsnow,mademoiselle。Itisimpossibleforonewhohasanycompassioninhissoul。Besides,whatwouldshedo? Welivefromhandtomouth,inastrangeland。Shehasnofriendshere,notone。HowcouldIleaveherwhilethiswarlasts?Aswellcouldtwopersonsonadesertislandseparate。Sheiskillingherself,too,withthesedrugs,andIcannotstopher。\" \"Poormadame!\"murmuredNoel。\"Poormonsieur!\" Thepainterdrewhishandacrosshiseyes。 \"Icannotchangemynature,\"hesaidinastifledvoice,\"norshehers。Sowegoon。Butlifewillstopsuddenlysomedayforoneofus。Afterall,itismuchworseforherthanforme。Enter,mademoiselle。DonottellherIamgoingtopaintyou;shelikesyou,becauseyourefusedtoletme。\" Noelwentupthestairs,shuddering;shehadbeenthereoncebefore,andrememberedthatsicklyscentofdrugs。Onthethirdfloortheyenteredasmallsitting—roomwhosewallswerecoveredwithpaintingsanddrawings;fromonecorneratriangularstackofcanvasesjuttedout。Therewaslittlefurnituresaveanoldredsofa,andonthiswasseatedastoutishmaninthegarbofaBelgiansoldier,withhiselbowsonhiskneesandhisbeardedcheeksrestingonhisdoubledfists。Besidehimonthesofa,nursingadoll,wasalittlegirl,wholookedupatNoel。Shehadamoststrange,attractive,palelittleface,withpointedchinandlargeeyes,whichnevermovedfromthisapparitioningreyrabbits’skins。 \"Ah,Barra!Youhere!\"saidthepainter: \"Mademoiselle,thisisMonsieurBarra,afriendofoursfromthefront;andthisisourlandlady’slittlegirl。Alittlerefugee,too,aren’tyou,Chica?\" Thechildgavehimasuddenbrilliantsmileandresumedhergravescrutinyofthevisitor。Thesoldier,whohadrisenheavily,offeredNoeloneofhispodgyhands,withasadandheavygiggle。 \"Sitdown,mademoiselle,\"saidLavendie,placingachairforher:\"I willbringmywifein,\"andhewentoutthroughsomedoubledoors。 Noelsatdown。Thesoldierhadresumedhisoldattitude,andthelittlegirlhernursingofthedoll,thoughherbigeyesstillwatchedthevisitor。Overcomebystrangeness,Noelmadenoattempttotalk。Andpresentlythroughthedoubledoorsthepainterandhiswifecamein。Shewasathinwomaninaredwrapper,withhollowcheeks,highcheek—bones,andhungryeyes;herdarkhairhungloose,andonehandplayedrestlesslywithafoldofhergown。ShetookNoel’shand;andherupliftedeyesseemedtodigintothegirl’sface,toletgosuddenly,andflutter。 \"Howdoyoudo?\"shesaidinEnglish。\"SoPierrebroughtyou,toseemeagain。Irememberyousowell。Youwouldnotlethimpaintyou。Ah!quec’estdrole!Youaresopretty,too。Hein,MonsieurBarra,isnotmademoisellepretty?\" Thesoldiergavehisheavygiggle,andresumedhisscrutinyofthefloor。 \"Henriette,\"saidLavendie,\"sitdownbesideChica——youmustnotstand。Sitdown,mademoiselle,Ibeg。\" \"I’msosorryyou’renotwell,\"saidNoel,andsatdownagain。 Thepainterstoodleaningagainstthewall,andhiswifelookedupathistall,thinfigure,witheyeswhichhadinthemanger,andasortofcunning。 \"Agreatpainter,myhusband,ishenot?\"shesaidtoNoel。\"Youwouldnotimaginewhatthatmancando。Andhowhepaints——alldaylong;andallnightinhishead。Andsoyouwouldnotlethimpaintyou,afterall?\" Lavendiesaidimpatiently:\"Voyons,Henriette,causezd’autrechose。\" Hiswifepluckednervouslyatafoldinherredgown,andgavehimthelookofadogthathasbeenrebuked。 \"Iamaprisonerhere,mademoiselle,Ineverleavethehouse。HereI livedayafterday——myhusbandisalwayspainting。Whowouldgooutaloneunderthisgreyskyofyours,andthehatredsofthewarineveryface?Iprefertokeepmyroom。Myhusbandgoespainting; everyfaceheseesinterestshim,exceptthatwhichheseeseveryday。ButIamaprisoner。MonsieurBarraisourfirstvisitorforalongtime。\" Thesoldierraisedhisfacefromhisfists。\"Prisonnier,madame! Whatwouldyousayifyouwereoutthere?\"Andhegavehisthickgiggle。\"Wearetheprisoners,weothers。Whatwouldyousaytoimprisonmentbyexplosiondayandnight;neveraminutefree。Bom! Bom!Bom!Ah!lestranchees!It’snotsofreeasallthat,there。\" \"Everyonehashisownprison,\"saidLavendiebitterly。 \"Mademoiselleeven,hasherprison——andlittleChica,andherdoll。 Everyonehashisprison,Barra。MonsieurBarraisalsoapainter,mademoiselle。\" \"Moi!\"saidBarra,liftinghisheavyhairyhand。\"Ipaintpuddles,star—bombs,horses’ribs——Ipaintholesandholesandholes,wireandwireandwire,andwater——longwhiteuglywater。Ipaintsplinters,andmen’ssoulsnaked,andmen’sbodiesdead,andnightmare—— nightmare——alldayandallnight——Ipainttheminmyhead。\"Hesuddenlyceasedspeakingandrelapsedintocontemplationofthecarpet,withhisbeardedcheeksrestingonhisfists。\"Andtheirsoulsaswhiteassnow,lescamarades,\"headdedsuddenlyandloudly,\"millionsofBelgians,English,French,eventheBoches,withwhitesouls。Ipaintthosesouls!\" AlittleshiverranthroughNoel,andshelookedappealinglyatLavendie。 \"Barra,\"hesaid,asifthesoldierwerenotthere,\"isagreatpainter,buttheFronthasturnedhisheadalittle。Whathesaysistrue,though。Thereisnohatredoutthere。Itisherethatweareprisonersofhatred,mademoiselle;avoidhatreds——theyarepoison!\" Hiswifeputoutherhandandtouchedthechild’sshoulder。 \"Whyshouldwenothate?\"shesaid。\"WhokilledChica’sfather,andblewherhometo—rags?WhothrewheroutintothishorribleEngland— —pardon,mademoiselle,butitishorrible。Ah!lesBoches!Ifmyhatredcoulddestroythemtherewouldnotbeoneleft。Evenmyhusbandwasnotsomadabouthispaintingwhenwelivedathome。Buthere——!\"Hereyesdartedathisfaceagain,andthensankasifrebuked。Noelsawthepainter’slipsmove。Thesickwoman’swholefigurewrithed。 \"Itismania,yourpainting!\"ShelookedatNoelwithasmile。 \"Willyouhavesometea,mademoiselle?MonsieurBarra,sometea?\" Thesoldiersaidthickly:\"No,madame;inthetrencheswehaveteaenough。Itconsolesus。Butwhenwegetaway——giveuswine,lebonvin;lebonpetitvin!\" \"Getsomewine,Pierre!\" Noelsawfromthepainter’sfacethattherewasnowine,andperhapsnomoneytogetany;buthewentquicklyout。Sheroseandsaid: \"Imustbegoing,madame。\" MadameLavendieleanedforwardandclutchedherwrist。\"Waitalittle,mademoiselle。Weshallhavesomewine,andPierreshalltakeyoubackpresently。Youcannotgohomealone——youaretoopretty。 Isshenot,MonsieurBarra?\" Thesoldierlookedup:\"Whatwouldyousay,\"hesaid,\"tobottlesofwineburstingintheair,burstingredandburstingwhite,alldaylong,allnightlong?Greatsteelbottles,largeasChica:bitsofbottles,carryingoffmen’sheads?Bsum,garra—a—a,andahousecomesdown,andlittlebitsofpeopleeversosmall,eversosmall,tinybitsintheairandallovertheground。Greatsoulsoutthere,madame。ButIwilltellyouasecret,\"andagainhegavehisheavygiggle,\"allalittle,littlemad;nothingtospeakof——justalittlebitmad;likeawatch,youknow,thatyoucanwindforever。Thatisthediscoveryofthiswar,mademoiselle,\"hesaid,addressingNoelforthefirsttime,\"youcannotgainagreatsoultillyouarealittlemad。\"Andloweringhispiggygreyeyesatonce,heresumedhisformerattitude。\"ItisthatmadnessIshallpaintsomeday,\"heannouncedtothecarpet;\"lurkinginonetinycornerofeachsoulofallthosemillions,asitcreeps,asitpeeps,eversosudden,eversolittlewhenweallthinkithasbeenputtobed,here——there,now——then,whenyouleastthink;inandoutlikeamousewithbrighteyes。Millionsofmenwithwhitesouls,allalittlemad。Agreatsubject,Ithink,\"headdedheavily。InvoluntarilyNoelputherhandtoherheart,whichwasbeatingfast。Shefeltquitesick。 \"HowlonghaveyoubeenattheFront,monsieur?\" \"Twoyears,mademoiselle。Timetogohomeandpaint,isitnot?Butart——!\"heshruggedhisheavyroundshoulders,hiswholebear—likebody。\"Alittlemad,\"hemutteredoncemore。\"Iwilltellyouastory。OnceinwinterafterIhadrestedafortnight,Igobacktothetrenchesatnight,andIwantsomeearthtofillupaholeinthegroundwhereIwassleeping;whenonehassleptinabedonebecomesparticular。Well,Iscratchitfrommyparapet,andIcometosomethingfunny。Istrikemybriquet,andthereisaBoche’sfaceallfrozenandearthyanddeadandgreeny—whiteintheflamefrommybriquet。\" \"Oh,no!\" \"Oh!butyes,mademoiselle;trueasIsithere。Veryusefulintheparapet——deadBoche。Onceamanlikeme。ButinthemorningIcouldnotstandhim;wedughimoutandburiedhim,andfilledtheholeupwithotherthings。ButthereIstoodinthenight,andmyfaceasclosetohisasthis\"——andheheldhisthickhandafootbeforehisface。\"Wetalkedofourhomes;hehadasoul,thatman。Ilmedisaitdescboses,howhehadsuffered;andI,too,toldhimmysufferings。DearGod,weknowall;weshallneverknowmorethanweknowoutthere,weothers,forwearemad——nothingtospeakof,butjustalittle,littlemad。Whenyouseeus,mademoiselle,walkingthestreets,rememberthat。\"Andhedroppedhisfaceontohisfistsagain。 Asilencehadfallenintheroom—veryqueerandcomplete。Thelittlegirlnursedherdoll,thesoldiergazedatthefloor,thewoman’smouthmovedstealthily,andinNoelthethoughtrushedcontinuallytothevergeofaction:’Couldn’tIgetupandrundownstairs?’Butshesaton,hypnotisedbythatsilence,tillLavendiereappearedwithabottleandfourglasses。 \"Todrinkourhealth,andwishusluck,mademoiselle,\"hesaid。 Noelraisedtheglasshehadgivenher。\"Iwishyouallhappiness。\" \"Andyou,mademoiselle,\"thetwomenmurmured。 Shedrankalittle,androse。 \"Andnow,mademoiselle,\"saidLavendie,\"ifyoumustgo,Iwillseeyouhome。\" NoeltookMadameLavendie’shand;itwascold,andreturnednopressure;hereyeshadtheglazedlookthatsheremembered。Thesoldierhadputhisemptyglassdownonthefloor,andwasregardingitunconsciousofher。Noelturnedquicklytothedoor;thelastthingshesawwasthelittlegirlnursingherdoll。 InthestreetthepainterbeganatonceinhisrapidFrench: ’Ioughtnottohaveaskedyoutocome,mademoiselle;IdidnotknowourfriendBarrawasthere。Besides,mywifeisnotfittoreceivealady;vousvoyezqu’ilyadelamaniedanscettepauvretote。I shouldnothaveaskedyou;butIwassomiserable。\" \"Oh!\"murmuredNoel,\"Iknow。\" \"Inourhomeoverthereshehadinterests。Inthisgreattownshecanonlynursehergriefagainstme。Ah!thiswar!Itseemstomeweareallinthestomachofagreatcoilingserpent。Weliethere,beingdigested。Inawayitisbetteroutthereinthetrenches; theyarebeyondhate,theyhaveattainedaheightthatwehavenot。 ItiswonderfulhowtheystillcanbeforgoingontilltheyhavebeatentheBoche;thatiscuriousanditisverygreat。DidBarratellyouhow,whentheycomeback——allthesefighters——theyaregoingtorule,andmanagethefutureoftheworld?Butitwillnotbeso。 Theywillmixinwithlife,separate——bescattered,andtheywillberuledastheywerebefore。Thetongueandthepenwillrulethem: thosewhohavenotseenthewarwillrulethem。\" \"Oh!\"’criedNoel,\"surelytheywillbethebravestandstrongestinthefuture。\" Thepaintersmiled。 \"Warmakesmensimple,\"hesaid,\"elemental;lifeinpeaceisneithersimplenorelemental,itissubtle,fullofchangingenvironments,towhichmanmustadapthimself;thecunning,theastute,theadaptable,willeverruleintimesofpeace。Itispathetic,thebeliefofthosebravesoldiersthatthe—futureistheirs。\" \"Hesaid,astrangething,\"murmuredNoel;\"thattheywereallalittlemad。\" \"Heisamanofqueergenius——Barra;youshouldseesomeofhisearlierpictures。Madisnotquitetheword,butsomethingisloosened,israttlingroundinthem,theyhavelostproportion,theyarebeingforcedinonedirection。Itellyou,mademoiselle,thiswarisonegreatforcing—house;everylivingplantisbeingmadetogrowtoofast,eachquality,eachpassion;hateandlove,intoleranceandlustandavarice,courageandenergy;yes,andself—sacrifice—— allarebeingforcedandforcedbeyondtheirstrength,beyondthenaturalflowofthesap,forcedtilltherehascomeagreatwildluxuriantcrop,andthen——Psum!Presto!Thechangecomes,andtheseplantswillwitherandrotandstink。ButwewhoseeLifeinformsofArtaretheonlyoneswhofeelthat;andwearesofew。Thenaturalshapeofthingsislost。Thereisamistofbloodbeforealleyes。Menareafraidofbeingfair。Seehowweallhatenotonlyourenemies,butthosewhodifferfromus。Lookatthestreetstoo——seehowmenandwomenrushtogether,howVenusreignsinthisforcing—house。IsitnotnaturalthatYouthabouttodieshouldyearnforpleasure,forlove,forunion,beforedeath?\" Noelstaredupathim。’Now!’shethought:Iwill。’ \"Yes,\"shesaid,\"Iknowthat’strue,becauseIrushed,myself。I’dlikeyoutoknow。Wecouldn’tbemarried——therewasn’ttime。And—— hewaskilled。Buthissonisalive。That’swhyI’vebeenawaysolong。Iwanteveryonetoknow。\"Shespokeverycalmly,buthercheeksfeltburninghot。 Thepainterhadmadeanupwardmovementofhishands,asiftheyhadbeenjerkedbyanelectriccurrent,thenhesaidquitequietly: \"Myprofoundrespect,mademoiselle,andmygreatsympathy。Andyourfather?\" \"It’sawfulforhim。\" Thepaintersaidgently:\"Ah!mademoiselle,Iamnotsosure。 Perhapshedoesnotsuffersogreatly。Perhapsnotevenyourtroublecanhurthimverymuch。Helivesinaworldapart。That,Ithink,ishistruetragedytobealive,andyetnotlivingenoughtofeelreality。DoyouknowAnatoleFrance’sdescriptionofanoldwoman: ’Ellevivait,maissipeu。’WouldthatnotbewellsaidoftheChurchinthesedays:’Ellevivait,maissipeu。’Iseehimalwayslikearatherbeautifuldarkspireinthenight—timewhenyoucannotseehowitisattachedtotheearth。Hedoesnotknow,heneverwillknow,Life。\" Noellookedroundathim。\"WhatdoyoumeanbyLife,monsieur?I’malwaysreadingaboutLife,andpeopletalkofseeingLife!Whatisit——whereisit?IneverseeanythingthatyoucouldcallLife。\" Thepaintersmiled。 \"To’seelife’!\"hesaid。\"Ah!thatisdifferent。Toenjoyyourself!Well,itismyexperiencethatwhenpeopleare’seeinglife’astheycallit,theyarenotenjoyingthemselves。Youknowwhenoneisverythirstyonedrinksanddrinks,butthethirstremainsallthesame。Thereareplaceswhereonecanseelifeasitiscalled,buttheonlypersonsyouwillseeenjoyingthemselvesatsuchplacesareafewhumdrumslikemyself,whogothereforatalkoveracupofcoffee。Perhapsatyourage,though,itisdifferent。\" Noelclaspedherhands,andhereyesseemedtoshineinthegloom。 \"Iwantmusicanddancingandlight,andbeautifulthingsandfaces; butInevergetthem。\" \"No,theredoesnotexistinthistown,orinanyother,aplacewhichwillgiveyouthat。Fox—trotsandragtimeandpaintandpowderandglareandhalf—drunkenyoungmen,andwomenwithredlipsyoucangettheminplenty。Butrhythmandbeautyandcharmnever。InBrusselswhenIwasyoungerIsawmuch’life’astheycallit,butnotonelovelythingunspoiled;itwasallasashesinthemouth。 Ah!youmaysmile,butIknowwhatIamtalkingof。Happinessnevercomeswhenyouarelookingforit,mademoiselle;beautyisinNatureandinrealart,neverinthesefalsesillymakebelieves。ThereisaplacejustherewhereweBelgiansgo;wouldyouliketoseehowtruemywordsare? \"Oh,yes!\" \"Tres—bien!Letusgoin?\" Theypassedintoarevolvingdoorwaywithlittleglasscompartmentswhichshotthemoutintoashiningcorridor。AttheendofthisthepainterlookedatNoelandseemedtohesitate,thenheturnedofffromtheroomtheywereabouttoenterintoaroomontheright。Itwaslarge,fullofgiltandplushandmarbletables,wherecoupleswereseated;youngmeninkhakiandoldermeninplainclothes,togetherorwithyoungwomen。AttheselastNoellooked,faceafterface,whiletheywerepassingdownalongwaytoanemptytable。Shesawthatsomewerepretty,andsomeonlytryingtobe,thatnearlyallwerepowderedandhadtheireyesdarkenedandtheirlipsreddened,tillshefeltherownfacetobedreadfullyungarnished:Upinagalleryasmallbandwasplayinganattractivejinglinghollowlittletune;andthebuzzoftalkandlaughterwasalmostdeafening。 \"Whatwillyouhave,mademoiselle?\"saidthepainter。\"Itisjustnineo’clock;wemustorderquickly。\" \"MayIhaveoneofthosegreenthings?\" \"Deuxcremesdementhe,\"saidLavendietothewaiter。 Noelwastooabsorbedtoseethequeer,bitterlittlesmilehoveringabouthisface。Shewasbusylookingatthefacesofwomenwhoseeyes,furtivelycoldandenquiring,werefixedonher;andatthefacesofmenwitheyesthatwerefurtivelywarmandwondering。 \"IwonderifDaddywaseverinaplacelikethis?\"shesaid,puttingtheglassofgreenstufftoherlips。\"Isitnice?Itsmellsofpeppermint。\" \"Abeautifulcolour。Goodluck,mademoiselle!\"andhechinkedhisglasswithhers。 Noelsipped,helditaway,andsippedagain。 \"It’snice;butawfullysticky。MayIhaveacigarette?\" \"Descigarettes,\"saidLavendietothewaiter,\"Etdeuxcafesnoirs。 Now,mademoiselle,\"hemurmuredwhentheywerebrought,\"ifweimaginethatwehavedrunkabottleofwineeach,weshallhaveexhaustedallthepreliminariesofwhatiscalledVice。Amusing,isn’tit?\"Heshruggedhisshoulders。 HisfacestruckNoelsuddenlyastarnishedandalmostsullen。 \"Don’tbeangry,monsieur,it’sallnewtome,yousee。\" Thepaintersmiled,hisbright,skin—deepsmile。 \"Pardon!Iforgetmyself。Only,ithurtsmetoseebeautyinaplacelikethis。Itdoesnotgowellwiththattune,andthesevoices,andthesefaces。Enjoyyourself,mademoiselle;drinkitallin!Seethewaythesepeoplelookateachother;whatloveshinesintheireyes!Apity,too,wecannothearwhattheyaresaying。 Believeme,theirtalkismostsubtle,tres—spirituel。Theseyoungwomenare’doingtheirbit,’asyoucallit;bringingleplaisirtoallthesewhoareservingtheircountry。Eat,drink,love,fortomorrowwedie。Whocaresfortheworldsimpleortheworldbeautiful,indayslikethese?Thehouseofthespiritisempty。\" Hewaslookingathersidelongasifhewouldenterherverysoul。 Noelgotup。\"I’mreadytogo,monsieur。\" Heputhercloakonhershoulders,paidthebill,andtheywentout,threadingagainthroughthelittletables,throughthebuzzoftalkandlaughterandthefumesoftobacco,whileanotherhollowlittletunejingledawaybehindthem。 \"Throughthere,\"saidthepainter,pointingtoanotherdoor,\"theydance。Soitgoes。Londoninwar—time!Well,afterall,itisneververydifferent;nogreattownis。Didyouenjoyyoursightof’life,’mademoiselle?\" \"Ithinkonemustdance,tobehappy。Isthatwhereyourfriendsgo?\" \"Oh,no!Toaroommuchrougher,andplaydominoes,anddrinkcoffeeandbeer,andtalk。Theyhavenomoneytothrowaway。\" \"Whydidn’tyoushowme?\" \"Mademoiselle,inthatroomyoumightseesomeoneperhapswhomonedayyouwouldmeetagain;intheplacewevisitedyouweresafeenoughatleastIhopeso。\" Noelshrugged。\"Isupposeitdoesn’tmatternow,whatIdo。\" Andarushofemotioncaughtatherthroat——awavefromthepast——themoonlitnight,thedarkoldAbbey,thewoodsandtheriver。Twotearsrolleddownhercheeks。 \"Iwasthinkingof——something,\"shesaidinamuffledvoice。\"It’sallright。\" \"Cheremademoiselle!\"Lavendiemurmured;andallthewayhomehewastimidanddistressed。Shakinghishandatthedoor,shemurmured: \"I’msorryIwassuchafool;andthankyouawfully,monsieur。Goodnight。\" \"Goodnight;andbetterdreams。Thereisagoodtimecoming——PeaceandHappinessoncemoreintheworld。ItwillnotalwaysbethisForcing—House。Goodnight,cheremademoiselle!\" Noelwentuptothenursery,andstolein。Anight—lightwasburning,Nurseandbabywerefastasleep。Shetiptoedthroughintoherownroom。Oncethere,shefeltsuddenlysotiredthatshecouldhardlyundress;andyetcuriouslyrested,asifwiththatrushofemotion,Cyrilandthepasthadslippedfromherforever。