III
1
Noel’sfirstencounterwithOpiniontookplacethefollowingday。
Thebabyhadjustcomeinfromitsairing;shehadseenitcomfortablysnoozing，andwasonherwaydownstairs，whenavoicefromthehallsaid:
\"Howdoyoudo？\"andshesawthekhaki—cladfigureofAdrianLauder，herfather’scurate！Hesitatingjustamoment，shefinishedherdescent，andputherfingersinhis。Hewasaratherheavy，dough—
colouredyoungmanofnearlythirty，unsuitedbykhaki，witharoundwhitecollarbuttonedbehind;buthisaspiringeyesredeemedhim，proclaimingthebestintentionsintheworld，andaninclinationtowardssentimentinthepresenceofbeauty。
\"Ihaven’tseenyouforages，\"hesaidratherfatuously，followingherintoherfather’sstudy。
\"No，\"saidNoel。\"How——doyoulikebeingattheFront？\"
\"Ah！\"hesaid，\"they’rewonderful！\"Andhiseyesshone。\"It’ssonicetoseeyouagain。\"
\"Isit？\"
Heseemedpuzzledbythatanswer;stammered，andsaid:
\"Ididn’tknowyoursisterhadababy。Ajollybaby。\"
\"Shehasn’t。\"
Lauder’smouthopened。’Asillymouth，’shethought。
\"Oh！\"hesaid。\"Isitaprotegee——Belgianorsomething？\"
\"No，it’smine;myown。\"And，turninground，sheslippedthelittleringoffherfinger。Whensheturnedbacktohim，hisfacehadnotrecoveredfromherwords。Ithadahaplesslook，asofonetowhomsuchathingoughtnottohavehappened。
\"Don’tlooklikethat，\"saidNoel。\"Didn’tyouunderstand？It’smine—mine。\"Sheputoutherlefthand。\"Look！There’snoring。\"
Hestammered:\"Isay，yououghtn’tto——yououghtn’tto——！\"
\"What？\"
\"Jokeabout——aboutsuchthings;oughtyou？\"
\"Onedoesn’tjokeifone’shadababywithoutbeingmarried，youknow。\"
Lauderwentsuddenlyslack。Ashellmighthaveburstafewpacesfromhim。Andthen，justasonewouldinsuchacase，hemadeaneffort，bracedhimself，andsaidinacuriousvoice，bothstiffandheavy:\"Ican’t——onedoesn’t——it’snot——\"
\"Itis，\"saidNoel。\"Ifyoudon’tbelieveme，askDaddy。\"
Heputhishanduptohisroundcollar;andwiththewildthoughtthathewasgoingtotearitoff，shecried:\"Don’t！\"
\"You！\"hesaid。\"You！But——\"
Noelturnedawayfromhimtothewindow:Shestoodlookingout，butsawnothingwhatever。
\"Idon’twantithidden，\"shesaidwithoutturninground，\"Iwanteveryonetoknow。It’sstupidasitis——stupid！\"andshestampedherfoot。\"Can’tyouseehowstupiditis——everybody’smouthfallingopen！\"
Heutteredalittlesoundwhichhadpaininit，andshefeltarealpangofcompunction。Hehadgrippedthebackofachair;hisfacehadlostitsheaviness。Adullflushcolouredhischeeks。Noelhadafeeling，asifshehadbeenconvictedoftreachery。Itwashissilence，thecuriouslookofanimpersonalpainbeyondpowerofwords;shefeltinhimsomethingmuchdeeperthanmeredisapproval——
somethingwhichechoedwithinherself。Shewalkedquicklypasthimandescaped。Sheranupstairsandthrewherselfonherbed。Hewasnothing:itwasnotthat！Itwasinherself，theawfulfeeling，forthefirsttimedevelopedandpoignant，thatshehadbetrayedhercaste，forfeitedtherighttobethoughtalady，betrayedhersecretreserveandrefinement，repaidwithblackingratitudethelovelavishedonherupbringing，bybehavinglikeanyuncared—forcommongirl。Shehadneverfeltthisbefore——notevenwhenGratianfirstheardofit，andtheyhadstoodoneateachendofthehearth，unabletospeak。Thenshestillhadherpassion，andhergriefforthedead。Thatwasgonenowasifithadneverbeen;andshehadnodefence，nothingbetweenherandthiscrushinghumiliationandchagrin。Shehadbeenmad！Shemusthavebeenmad！TheBelgianBarrawasright:\"Allalittlemad\"inthis\"forcing—house\"ofawar！
Sheburiedherfacedeepinthepillow，tillitalmoststoppedherpowerofbreathing;herheadandcheeksandearsseemedtobeonfire。Ifonlyhehadshowndisgust，donesomethingwhichrousedhertemper，hersenseofjustice，herfeelingthatFatehadbeentoocrueltoher;，buthehadjuststoodthere，bewildermentincarnate，likeacreaturewithsomeverydeepillusionshattered。Itwashorrible！Then，feelingthatshecouldnotstaystill，mustwalk，run，getawaysomehowfromthisfeelingoftreacheryandbetrayal，shesprangup。Allwasquietbelow，andsheslippeddownstairsandout，speedingalongwithnoknowledgeofdirection，takingthewayshehadtakendayafterdaytoherhospital。ItwasthelastofApril，treesandshrubswerelusciouswithblossomandleaf;thedogsrangaily;peoplehadalmosthappyfacesinthesunshine。’IfI
couldgetawayfrommyself，Iwouldn’tcare，’shethought。Easytogetawayfrompeople，fromLondon，evenfromEnglandperhaps;butfromoneself——impossible！Shepassedherhospital;andlookedatitdully，attheRedCrossflagagainstitsstuccowall，andasoldierinhisblueslopsandredtie，comingout。Shehadspentmanymiserablehoursthere，butnonequitesomiserableasthis。ShepassedthechurchoppositetotheflatswhereLeilalived，andrunningsuddenlyintoatallmancomingroundthecorner，sawFort。
Shebentherhead，andtriedtohurrypast。Buthishandwasheldout，shecouldnothelpputtinghersintoit;andlookinguphardily，shesaid:
\"Youknowaboutme，don’tyou？\"
Hisface，naturallysofrank，seemedtoclenchup，asifhewereridingatafence。’He’lltellalie，’shethoughtbitterly。Buthedidnot。
\"Yes，Leilatoldme。\"
Andshethought:’Isupposehe’lltryandpretendthatI’venotbeenabeast！’
\"Iadmireyourpluck，\"hesaid。
\"Ihaven’tany。\"
\"Weneverknowourselves，dowe？Isupposeyouwouldn’twalkmypaceaminuteortwo，wouldyou？I’mgoingthesameway。\"
\"Idon’tknowwhichwayI’mgoing。\"
\"Thatismycase，too。\"
Theywalkedoninsilence。
\"IwishtoGodIwerebackinFrance，\"saidFortabruptly。\"Onedoesn’tfeelcleanhere。\"
Noel’sheartapplauded。
Ah！togetaway——awayfromoneself！Butatthethoughtofherbaby，herheartfellagain。\"Isyourlegquitehopeless？\"shesaid。
\"Quite。\"
\"Thatmustbehorrid。\"
\"Hundredsofthousandswouldlookonitassplendidluck;andsoitisifyoucountitbettertobealivethandead，whichIdo，inspiteoftheblues。\"
\"HowisCousinLeila？\"
\"Verywell。Shegoesonpeggingawayatthehospital;she’sabrick。\"Buthedidnotlookather，andagaintherewassilence，tillhestoppedbyLord’sCricket—ground。
\"Imustn’tkeepyoucrawlingalongatthispace。\"
\"Oh，Idon’tmind！\"
\"IonlywantedtosaythatifIcanbeofanyservicetoyouatanytimeinanywaywhatever，pleasecommandme。\"
Hegaveherhandasqueeze，tookhishatoff;andNoelwalkedslowlyon。Thelittleinterview，withitssuppressions，anditsimplications，hadbutexasperatedherrestlessness，andyet，inaway，ithadsoothedthesorenessofherheart。CaptainFortatalleventsdidnotdespiseher;andhewasintroublelikeherself。Shefeltthatsomehowbythelookofhisface，andthetoneofhisvoicewhenhespokeofLeila。Shequickenedherpace。George’swordscamebacktoher:\"Ifyou’renotashamedofyourself，noonewillbeofyou！\"Howeasytosay！Theolddays，herschool，thelittlehalfgrown—updancessheusedtogoto，wheneverythingwashappy。Gone！
Allgone！
ButhermeetingswithOpinionwerenotoverfortheday，forturningagainatlastintothehomeSquare，tiredoutbyherthreehours’
ramble，shemetanoldladywhomsheandGratianhadknownfrombabyhood——ahandsomedame，thewidowofanofficial，whospentherdays，whichshowednosymptomofdeclining，inadmirableworks。Herdaughter，thewidowofanofficerkilledattheMarne，waswithher，andthetwogreetedNoelwithashowerofcordialquestions:Soshewasbackfromthecountry，andwasshequitewellagain？Andworkingatherhospital？Andhowwasherdearfather？Theyhadthoughthimlookingverythinandworn。ButnowGratianwasathome——Howdreadfullythewarkepthusbandsandwivesapart！Andwhosewasthedearlittlebabytheyhadinthehouse？
\"Mine，\"saidNoel，walkingstraightpastthemwithherheadup。Ineveryfibreofherbeingshecouldfeelthehurt，startled，utterlybewilderedlooksofthosefirmfriendlypersonsleftthereonthepavementbehindher;couldfeelthewaytheywouldgatherthemselvestogether，andwalkon，perhapswithoutaword，andthenroundthecornerbegin:\"WhathascometoNoel？Whatdidshemean？\"Andtakingthelittlegoldhoopoutofherpocket，sheflungitwithallhermightintotheSquareGarden。Theactionsavedherfromabreakdown;andshewentincalmly。Lunchwaslongover，butherfatherhadnotgoneout，forhemetherinthehallanddrewherintothedining—room。
\"Youmusteat，mychild，\"hesaid。Andwhileshewasswallowingdownwhathehadcausedtobekeptbackforher，hestoodbythehearthinthatfavouriteattitudeofhis，onefootonthefender，andonehandgripping。themantel—shelf。
\"You’vegotyourwish，Daddy，\"shesaiddully:\"Everybodyknowsnow。
I’vetoldMr。Lauder，andMonsieur，andtheDinnafords。\"
Shesawhisfingersuncrisp，thengriptheshelfagain。\"I’mglad，\"
hesaid。
\"AuntThirzagavemearingtowear，butI’vethrownitaway。\"
\"Mydearestchild，\"hebegan，butcouldnotgoon，forthequiveringofhislips。
\"Iwantedtosayoncemore，Daddy，thatI’mfearfullysorryaboutyou。AndIamashamedofmyself;IthoughtIwasn’t，butIam——only，Ithinkitwascruel，andI’mnotpenitenttoGod;andit’snogoodtryingtomakeme。\"
Piersonturnedandlookedather。Foralongtimeafter，shecouldnotgetthatlookoutofhermemory。
JimmyForthadturnedawayfromNoelfeelingparticularlywretched。
EversincethedaywhenLeilahadtoldhimofthegirl’smisfortunehehadbeenawarethathisliaisonhadnodecentfoundation，saveasortofpity。Oneday，inaqueeraccessofcompunction，hehadmadeLeilaanofferofmarriage。Shehadrefused;andhehadrespectedherthemore，realisingbythequiverinhervoiceandthelookinhereyesthatsherefusedhim，notbecauseshedidnotlovehimwellenough，butbecauseshewasafraidoflosinganyofhisaffection。
Shewasawomanofgreatexperience。
To—dayhehadtakenadvantageoftheluncheonintervaltobringhersomeflowers，withanotetosaythathecouldnotcomethatevening。
Lettinghimselfinwithhislatchkey，hehadcarefullyputthoseJapaneseazaleasinthebowl\"FamilleRose，\"takingwaterfromherbedroom。Thenhehadsatdownonthedivanwithhisheadinhishands。
Thoughhehadrolledsomuchabouttheworld，hehadneverhadmuchtodowithwomen。AndtherewasnothinginhimoftheFrenchman，whotakeswhatlifeputsinhiswayassomuchenjoymentonthecreditside，andacceptstheendsofsuchaffairsastheynaturallyandratherrapidlyarrive。Ithadbeenapleasure，andwasnolongerapleasure;butthisapparentlydidnotdissolveit，orabsolvehim。
Hefelthimselfboundbyanobscurebutdeepinstincttogoonpretendingthathewasnottiredofher，solongasshewasnottiredofhim。Andhesattheretryingtorememberanysign，howeversmall，ofsuchaconsummation，quitewithoutsuccess。Onthecontrary，hehadeventhewretchedfeelingthatifonlyhehadlovedher，shewouldhavebeenmuchmorelikelytohavetiredofhimbynow。Forherhewasstilltheunconquered，inspiteofhisloyalendeavourtoseemconquered。Hehadmadeafatalmistake，thateveningaftertheconcertatQueen’sHall，tolethimselfgo，onamixedtideofdesireandpity！
HisfollycametohimwithincreasedpoignancyafterhehadpartedfromNoel。Howcouldhehavebeensuchabasefool，astohavecommittedhimselftoLeilaonaneveningwhenhehadactuallybeeninthecompanyofthatchild？Wasitthevague，unseizablelikenessbetweenthemwhichhadpushedhimovertheedge？’I’vebeenanass，’
hethought;’ahorribleass。’IwouldalwayshavegiveneveryhourI’veeverspentwithLeila，foronerealsmilefromthatgirl。’
ThissuddensightofNoelaftermonthsduringwhichhehadtriedloyallytoforgetherexistence，andnotsucceededatall，madehimrealiseasheneverhadyetthathewasinlovewithher;soverymuchinlovewithherthatthethoughtofLeilawasbecomenauseating。Andyettheinstinctsofagentlemanseemedtoforbidhimtobetraythatsecrettoeitherofthem。Itwasanaccursedcoil！Hehailedacab，forhewaslate;andallthewaybacktotheWarOfficehecontinuedtoseethegirl’sfigureandherfacewithitsshorthair。Andafearfultemptationrosewithinhim。Wasitnotshewhowasnowtherealobjectforchivalryandpity？Hadhenottherighttoconsecratehimselftochampionshipofoneinsuchadeplorableposition？Leilahadlivedherlife;butthischild’slife——prettywellwrecked——wasallbeforeher。Andthenhegrinnedfromsheerdisgust。ForheknewthatthiswasJesuitry。Notchivalrywasmovinghim，butlove！Love！Loveoftheunattainable！
Andwithaheavyheart，indeed，heenteredthegreatbuilding，where，inasmallroom，companionedbythetelephone，andsurroundedbysheetsofpapercoveredwithfigures，hepassedhisdays。Thewarmadeeverythingseemdreary，hopeless。Nowonderhehadcaughtatanydistractionwhichcamealong——caughtatit，tillithadcaughthim！
IV
1
Tofindouttheworstis，forhumannature，onlyaquestionoftime。
Butwherethe\"worst\"isattachedtoafamilyhaloed，asitwere，bytheauthorityandreputationofaninstitutionliketheChurch，theprocessofdiscoveryhastobreakthroughmanyalittlehedge。Sheerunlikelihood，genuinerespect，thedefensiveinstinctinthoseidentifiedwithaninstitution，whowillthemselvesfeelweakerifitsstrengthbediminished，thefeelingthatthescandalistoogoodtobetrue——alltheselittlehedges，andmore，hadtobebrokenthrough。TotheDinnafords，theunholyimportanceofwhatNoelhadsaidtothemwouldhavecontinuedtokeepthemdumb，outofself—
protection;butitsmonstrosityhadgiventhemthefeelingthattheremustbesomemistake，thatthegirlhadbeenovertakenbyawilddesireto\"pulltheirlegs\"asdearCharliewouldsay。Withthehopeofgettingthisviewconfirmed，theylayinwaitfortheoldnursewhotookthebabyout，andobtainedtheinformation，shortlyimparted:\"Oh，yes;MissNoel’s。Her’usbandwaskilled——poorlamb！\"
Andtheyfeltrewarded。Theyhadbeensuretherewassomemistake。
Thereliefofhearingthatword\"’usband\"wasintense。Oneofthesehastywarmarriages，ofwhichthedearVicarhadnotapproved，andsoithadbeenkeptdark。Quiteintelligible，butsosad！Enoughmisgivinghoweverremainedintheirminds，topreventtheirgoingtocondolewiththedearVicar;butnotenoughtopreventtheirroundlycontradictingtherumoursandgossipalreadycomingtotheirears。
Andthenoneday，whentheirfriendMrs。Curtishadsaidtoopositively:\"Well，shedoesn’twearawedding—ring，thatI’llswear，becauseItookverygoodcaretolook！\"theydeterminedtoaskMr。
Lauder。Hewould——indeedmust——know;and，ofcourse，wouldnottellastory。Whentheyaskedhimitwassomanifestthathedidknow，thattheyalmostwithdrewthequestion。Thepooryoungmanhadgonethecolourofatomato。
\"Iprefernottoanswer，\"hesaid。Therestofaveryshortinterviewwaspassedinexquisitediscomfort。Indeeddiscomfort，exquisiteandotherwise，withinafewweeksofNoel’sreturn，hadbeguntopervadeallthehabitualcongregationofPierson’schurch。
ItwasnoticedthatneitherofthetwosistersattendedServicenow。
CertainpeoplewhowentinthesincerehopeofseeingNoel，onlyfelloffagainwhenshedidnotappear。Afterall，shewouldnothavetheface！AndGratianwastooashamed，nodoubt。ItwasconstantlyremarkedthattheVicarlookedverygraveandthin，evenforhim。Astherumourshardenedintocertainty，thefeelingtowardshimbecameacuriousmedleyofsympathyandcondemnation。TherewasaboutthewholebusinessthatwhichEnglishpeopleespeciallyresent。BytheveryfactofhispresencebeforethemeverySunday，andhispublicministrations，hewasexhibitingtothem，asitwere，theseamedandblushingfaceofhisdaughter’sprivatelife，besidesaffordingonelongandglaringdemonstrationofthefailureoftheChurchtoguideitsflock:Ifamancouldnotkeephisowndaughterinthestraightpath——whomcouldhe？Resign！Thewordbegantobethoughtabout，butnotyetspoken。Hehadbeentheresolong;hehadspentsomuchmoneyonthechurchandtheparish;hisgentledreamymannerwasgreatlyliked。Hewasagentleman;andhadhelpedmanypeople;and，thoughhisloveofmusicandvestmentshadalwayscausedheart—
burnings，yetithadgivenacertaincachettothechurch。Thewomen，atanyrate，werealwaysgladtoknowthatthechurchtheywenttowascapableofdrawingtheirfellowwomenawayfromotherchurches。Besides，itwaswar—time，andmoraldelinquencywhichintimeofpeacewouldhavebulkedtoolargetoneglect，wasnowlessinsistentlydwelton，bymindspreoccupiedbyfoodandair—raids。
Things，ofcourse，couldnotgoonastheywere;butasyettheydidgoon。
Thetalked—aboutisalwaysthelasttohearthetalk;andnothingconcreteortangiblecamePierson’sway。Hewentabouthisusualroutinewithoutseemingchange。Andyettherewasachange，secretandcreeping。Woundedalmosttodeathhimself，hefeltasthoughsurroundedbyonegreatwoundinothers;butitwassomeweeksbeforeanythingoccurredtorousewithinhimtheweaponofangerortheprotectiveimpulse。
Andthenonedayalittleswiftbrutalityshookhimtotheverysoul。
Hewascominghomefromalongparishround，andhadturnedintotheSquare，whenalowvoicebehindhimsaid:
\"Wotpricethelittlebarstard？\"
Acold，sickfeelingstifledhisverybreathing;hegasped，andspunround，toseetwobigloutishboyswalkingfastaway。Withswiftandstealthypassionhesprangafterthem，andputtinghishandsontheirtwoneighbouringshoulders，wrenchedthemroundsothattheyfacedhim，withmouthsfallenopeninalarm。Shakingthemwithallhisforce，hesaid:
\"Howdareyou——howdareyouusethatword？\"Hisfaceandvoicemusthavebeenratherterrible，forthescareintheirfacesbroughthimtosuddenconsciousnessofhisownviolence，andhedroppedhishands。Intwosecondstheywereatthecorner。Theystoppedthereforasecond;oneofthemshouted\"Gran’pa\";thentheyvanished。Hewasleftwithlipsandhandsquivering，andafeelingthathehadnotknownforyears——theweakwhiteemptyfeelingonehasafteryieldingutterlytosuddenmurderousrage。Hecrossedover，andstoodleaningagainsttheGardenrailings，withthethought:’Godforgiveme！I
couldhavekilledthem——Icouldhavekilledthem！’Therehadbeenadevilinhim。Ifhehadhadsomethinginhishand，hemightnowhavebeenamurderer:Howawful！Onlyonehadspoken;buthecouldhavekilledthemboth！Andthewordwastrue，andwasinallmouths——alllowcommonmouths，dayafterday，ofhisowndaughter’schild！Theghastlinessofthisthought，broughthomesoutterly，madehimwrithe，andgrasptherailingsasifhewouldhavebentthem。
>Fromthatdayon，acreepingsensationofbeingrejectedofmen，neverlefthim;thesenseofidentificationwithNoelandhertinyoutcastbecameevermorepoignant，morereal;thedesiretoprotectthemevermorepassionate;andthefeelingthatroundabouttherewerewhisperingvoices，pointingfingers，andagrowingmalevolencewasevermoresickening。Hewasbeginningtootorealisethedeepandhiddentruth:Howeasilythebreathofscandaldestroystheinfluenceandsanctityofthoseendowedtherewithbyvocation;howinvaluableitistofeeluntarnished，andhowdifficulttofeelthatwhenothersthinkyoutarnished。
HetriedtobewithNoelasmuchaspossible;andintheeveningstheysometimeswentwalkstogether，withoutevertalkingofwhatwasalwaysintheirminds。BetweensixandeightthegirlwasgivingsittingstoLavendieinthedrawing—room，andsometimesPiersonwouldcomethereandplaytothem。HewasalwayspossessednowbyasenseofthedangerNoelranfromcompanionshipwithanyman。Onthreeoccasions，JimmyFortmadehisappearanceafterdinner。Hehadsolittletosaythatitwasdifficulttounderstandwhyhecame;but，sharpenedbythisnewdreadforhisdaughter，Piersonnoticedhiseyesalwaysfollowingher。’Headmiresher，’hethought;andoftenhewouldtryhisutmosttograspthecharacterofthisman，whohadlivedsucharovinglife。’Ishe——canhebethesortofmanIwouldtrustNollieto？’hewouldthink。’Oh，thatIshouldhavetohopelikethisthatsomegoodmanwouldmarryher——mylittleNollie，achildonlytheotherday！’
Inthesesad，painful，lonelyweekshefoundaspotofsomethinglikerefugeinLeila’ssitting—room，andwouldgothereoftenforhalfanhourwhenshewasbackfromherhospital。Thatlittleblack—walledroomwithitsJapaneseprintsanditsflowers，soothedhim。AndLeilasoothedhim，innocentashewasofanyknowledgeofherlatestaberration，andperhapsconsciousthatsheherselfwasnottoohappy。
Towatchherarrangingflowers，singingherlittleFrenchsongs，ortofindherbesidehim，listeningtohisconfidences，wastheonlyrealpleasureheknewinthesedays。AndLeila，inturn，wouldwatchhimandthink:’PoorEdward！Hehasneverlived;andneverwill;
now！’Butsometimesthethoughtwouldshootthroughher:’Perhapshe’stobeenvied。Hedoesn’tfeelwhatIfeel，anyway。WhydidI
fallinloveagain？’
TheydidnotspeakofNoelasarule，butoneeveningsheexpressedherviewsroundly。
\"ItwasagreatmistaketomakeNoelcomeback。Edward。ItwasQuixotic。You’llbeluckyifrealmischiefdoesn’tcomeofit。
She’snotapatientcharacter;onedayshe’lldosomethingrash。
And，mindyou，she’llbemuchmorelikelytobreakoutifsheseestheworldtreatingyoubadlythanifithappenstoherself。Ishouldsendherbacktothecountry，beforeshemakesbadworse。\"
\"Ican’tdothat，Leila。Wemustliveitdowntogether。\"
\"Wrong，Edward。Youshouldtakethingsastheyare。\"
WithaheavysighPiersonanswered:
\"IwishIcouldseeherfuture。She’ssoattractive。Andherdefencesaregone。She’slostfaith，andbeliefinallthatagoodwomanshouldbe。Thedayaftershecamebackshetoldmeshewasashamedofherself。Butsince——she’snotgivenasign。She’ssoproud——mypoorlittleNollie。Iseehowmenadmireher，too。OurBelgianfriendispaintingher。He’sagoodman;buthefindsherbeautiful，andwhocanwonder。AndyourfriendCaptainFort。
Fathersaresupposedtobeblind，buttheyseeveryclearsometimes。\"
Leilaroseanddrewdownablind。
\"Thissun，\"shesaid。\"DoesJimmyFortcometoyou——often？\"
\"Oh！no;veryseldom。Butstill——Icansee。\"
’Youbat——youblunderer！’thoughtLeila:’See！Youcan’tevenseethisbesideyou！’
\"Iexpecthe’ssorryforher，\"shesaidinaqueervoice。
\"Whyshouldhebesorry？Hedoesn’tknow:\"
\"Oh，yes！Heknows;Itoldhim。\"
\"Youtoldhim！\"
\"Yes，\"Leilarepeatedstubbornly;\"andhe’ssorryforher。\"
Andeventhen\"thismonk\"besideherdidnotsee，andwentblunderingon。
\"No，no;it’snotmerelythathe’ssorry。Bythewayhelooksather，IknowI’mnotmistaken。I’vewondered——whatdoyouthink，Leila。He’stoooldforher;butheseemsanhonourable，kindman。\"
\"Oh！amosthonourable，kindman。\"Butonlybypressingherhandagainstherlipshadshesmotheredaburstofbitterlaughter。He，whosawnothing，couldyetnoticeFort’seyeswhenhelookedatNoel，andbepositivethathewasinlovewithher！Howplainlythoseeyesmustspeak！Hercontrolgaveway。
\"Allthisisveryinteresting，\"shesaid，spurningherwordslikeNoel，\"consideringthathe’smorethanmyfriend，Edward。\"Itgaveherasortofpleasuretoseehimwince。’Theseblindbats！’shethought，terriblystungthatheshouldsoclearlyassumeheroutoftherunning。Thenshewassorry，hisfacehadbecomesostillandwistful。Andturningaway，shesaid:
\"Oh！Ishan’tbreakmyheart;I’magoodloser。AndI’magoodfighter，too;perhapsIshan’tlose。\"Andsnappingoffasprigofgeranium，shepressedittoherlips。
\"Forgiveme，\"saidPiersonslowly;\"Ididn’tknow。I’mstupid。I
thoughtyourloveforyourpoorsoldiershadleftnoroomforotherfeelings。\"
Leilautteredashrilllaugh。\"Whathavetheytodowitheachother？
Didyouneverhearofpassion，Edward？Oh！Don’tlookatmelikethat。Doyouthinkawomancan’tfeelpassionatmyage？Asmuchasever，morethanever，becauseit’sallslippingaway。\"
Shetookherhandfromherlips，butageraniumpetalwasleftclingingthere，likeabloodstain。\"Whathasyourlifebeenalltheseyears，\"shewentonvehemently——\"suppressionofpassion，nothingelse！YoumonkstwistNatureupwithholywords，andtrytodisguisewhattheeeriestsimpletoncansee。Well，Ihaven’tsuppressedpassion，Edward。That’sall。\"
\"Andareyouhappierforthat？\"
\"Iwas;andIshallbeagain。\"
AlittlesmilecurledPierson’slips。\"Shallbe？\"hesaid。\"Ihopeso。It’sjusttwowaysoflookingatthings，Leila。\"
\"Oh，Edward！Don’tbesogentle！Isupposeyoudon’tthinkapersonlikemecaneverreallylove？\"
Hewasstandingbeforeherwithhisheaddown，andasensethat，naiveandbat—likeashewas，therewassomethinginhimshecouldnotreachorunderstand，madehercryout:
\"I’venotbeennicetoyou。Forgiveme，Edward！I’msounhappy。\"
\"TherewasaGreekwhousedtosay:’Godisthehelpingofmanbyman。’Itisn’ttrue，butit’sbeautiful。Good—bye，dearLeila，anddon’tbesorrowful\"
Shesqueezedhishand，andturnedtothewindow。
Shestoodtherewatchinghisblackfigurecrosstheroadinthesunshine，andpassroundthecornerbytherailingsofthechurch。
Hewalkedquickly，veryupright;therewassomethingunseeingevenaboutthatbackviewofhim;orwasitthathesaw—anotherworld？
Shehadneverlostthementalhabitsofherorthodoxgirlhood，andinspiteofallimpatience，recognisedhissanctity。Whenhehaddisappearedshewentintoherbedroom。Whathehadsaid，indeed，wasnodiscovery。Shehadknown。Oh！Shehadknown。’Whydidn’tI
acceptJimmy’soffer？Whydidn’tImarryhim？Isittoolate？’shethought。’CouldI？Wouldhe——evennow？’Butthenshestartedawayfromherownthought。Marryhim！knowinghisheartwaswiththisgirl？
