HeleftBertonhiswall，graveandpensive，withhiscaponthebackofhishead，andacigarettesmoulderinginthecornerofhismouth。
\"Ifwhathesaysistrue，\"saidBert，\"meandGrubb，webeenwastingourblessedoldtime。Besidesincurringexpensewiththetgreen—’ouse。\"
5
ItwaswhilethismysterioustalkwiththesoldierstillstirredinBertSmallways’imaginationthatthemostastoundingincidentinthewholeofthatdramaticchapterofhumanhistory，thecomingofflying，occurred。Peopletalkgliblyenoughofepoch—makingevents;thiswasanepoch—makingevent。ItwastheunanticipatedandentirelysuccessfulflightofMr。AlfredButteridgefromtheCrystalPalacetoGlasgowandbackinasmallbusinesslike—lookingmachineheavierthanair——anentirelymanageableandcontrollablemachinethatcouldflyaswellasapigeon。
Itwasn’t，onefelt，afreshstepforwardinthemattersomuchasagiantstride，aleap。Mr。Butteridgeremainedintheairaltogetherforaboutninehours，andduringthattimeheflewwiththeeaseandassuranceofabird。Hismachinewas，howeverneitherbird—likenorbutterfly—like，norhaditthewide，lateralexpansionoftheordinaryaeroplane。Theeffectupontheobserverwasrathersomethinginthenatureofabeeorwasp。
Partsoftheapparatuswerespinningveryrapidly，andgaveoneahazyeffectoftransparentwings;butparts，includingtwopeculiarlycurved\"wing—cases\"——ifonemayborrowafigurefromtheflyingbeetles——remainedexpandedstiffly。Inthemiddlewasalongroundedbodylikethebodyofamoth，andonthisMr。
Butteridgecouldbeseensittingastride，muchasamanbestridesahorse。Thewasp—likeresemblancewasincreasedbythefactthattheapparatusflewwithadeepboominghum，exactlythesoundmadebyawaspatawindowpane。
Mr。Butteridgetooktheworldbysurprise。HewasoneofthosegentlemenfromnowhereFatestillsucceedsinproducingforthestimulationofmankind。Hecame，itwasvariouslysaid，fromAustraliaandAmericaandtheSouthofFrance。HewasalsodescribedquiteincorrectlyasthesonofamanwhohadamassedacomfortablefortuneinthemanufactureofgoldnibsandtheButteridgefountainpens。ButthiswasanentirelydifferentstrainofButteridges。Forsomeyears，inspiteofaloudvoice，alargepresence，anaggressiveswagger，andanimplacablemanner，hehadbeenanundistinguishedmemberofmostoftheexistingaeronauticalassociations。ThenonedayhewrotetoalltheLondonpaperstoannouncethathehadmadearrangementsforanascentfromtheCrystalPalaceofamachinethatwoulddemonstratesatisfactorilythattheoutstandingdifficultiesinthewayofflyingwerefinallysolved。Fewofthepapersprintedhisletter，stillfewerwerethepeoplewhobelievedinhisclaim。NoonewasexcitedevenwhenafracasonthestepsofaleadinghotelinPiccadilly，inwhichhetriedtohorse—whipaprominentGermanmusicianuponsomepersonalaccount，delayedhispromisedascent。Thequarrelwasinadequatelyreported，andhisnamespeltvariouslyBetteridgeandBetridge。Untilhisflightindeed，hedidnotandcouldnotcontrivetoexistinthepublicmind。Therewerescarcelythirtypeopleonthelook—outforhim，inspiteofallhisclamour，whenaboutsixo’clockonesummermorningthedoorsofthebigshedinwhichhehadbeenputtingtogetherhisapparatusopened——itwasnearthebigmodelofamegatheriumintheCrystalPalacegrounds——andhisgiantinsectcamedroningoutintoanegligentandincredulousworld。
ButbeforehehadmadehissecondcircuitoftheCrystalPalacetowers，Famewasliftinghertrumpet，shedrewadeepbreathasthestartledtrampswhosleepontheseatsofTrafalgarSquarewererousedbyhisbuzzandawoketodiscoverhimcirclingtheNelsoncolumn，andbythetimehehadgottoBirmingham，whichplacehecrossedabouthalf—pastten，herdeafeningblastwasechoingthroughoutthecountry。Thedespaired—ofthingwasdone。
Amanwasflyingsecurelyandwell。
Scotlandwasagapeforhiscoming。Glasgowhereachedbyoneo’clock，anditisrelatedthatscarcelyaship—yardorfactoryinthatbusyhiveofindustryresumedworkbeforehalf—pasttwo。
ThepublicmindwasjustsufficientlyeducatedintheimpossibilityofflyingtoappreciateMr。Butteridgeathispropervalue。HeeircledtheUniversitybuildings，anddroppedtowithinshoutingdistanceofthecrowdsinWestEndParkandontheslopeofGilmorehill。Thethingflewquitesteadilyatapaceofaboutthreemilesanhour，inawidecircle，makingadeephumthat，wouldhavedrownedhisfull，richvoicecompletelyhadhenotprovidedhimselfwithamegaphone。Heavoidedchurches，buildings，andmono—railcableswithconsummateeaseasheconversed。
\"Mename’sButteridge，\"heshouted;\"B—U—T—T—E—R—I—D—G—E。—Gotit？MemotherwasScotch。\"
Andhavingassuredhimselfthathehadbeenunderstood，heroseamidstcheersandshoutingandpatrioticcries，andthenflewupveryswiftlyandeasilyintothesouth—easternsky，risingandfallingwithlong，easyundulationsinanextraordinarilywasp—likemanner。
HisreturntoLondon——hevisitedandhoveredoverManchesterandLiverpoolandOxfordonhisway，andspelthisnameouttoeachplace——wasanoccasionofunparalleledexcitement。Everyonewasstaringheavenward。Morepeoplewererunoverinthestreetsuponthatoneday，thaninthepreviousthreemonths，andaCountyCouncilsteamboat，theIsaacWalton，collidedwithapierofWestminsterBridge，andnarrowlyescapeddisasterbyrunningashore——itwaslowwater——onthemudonthesouthside。HereturnedtotheCrystalPalacegrounds，thatclassicstarting—pointofaeronauticaladventure，aboutsunset，re—enteredhisshedwithoutdisaster，andhadthedoorslockedimmediatelyuponthephotographersandjournalistswhobeenwaitinghisreturn。
\"Lookhere，youchaps，\"hesaid，ashisassistantdidso，\"I’mtiredtodeath，andsaddlesore。Ican’tgiveyouawordoftalk。I’mtoo——done。Myname’sButteridge。B—U—T—T—E—R—I—D—
G—E。Getthatright。I’manImperialEnglishman。I’lltalktoyouallto—morrow。\"
Foggysnapshotsstillsurvivetorecordthatincident。Hisassistantstrugglesinaseaofaggressiveyoungmencarryingnote—booksorupholdingcamerasandwearingbowlerhatsandenterprisingties。Hehimselftowersupinthedoorway，abigfigurewithamouth——aneloquentcavitybeneathavastblackmoustache——distortedbyhisshouttotheserelentlessagentsofpublicity。Hetowersthere，themostfamousmaninthecountry，。
Almostsymbolicallyheholdsandgesticulateswithamegaphoneinhislefthand。
6
TomandBertSmallwaysbothsawthatreturn。TheywatchedfromthecrestofBunHill，fromwhichtheyhadsooftensurveyedthepyrotechnicsoftheCrystalPalace。Bertwasexcited，Tomkeptcalmandlumpish，butneitherofthemrealisedhowtheirownlivesweretobeinvadedbythefruitsofthatbeginning。
\"P’rapsoldGrubb’llmindtheshopabitnow，\"hesaid，\"andputhisblessedmodelinthefire。Notthatthatcansaveus，ifwedon’ttideoverwithSteinhart’saccount。\"
Bertknewenoughofthingsandtheproblemofaeronauticstorealisethatthisgiganticimitationofabeewould，tousehisownidiom，\"givethenewspapersfits。\"Thenextdayitwasclearthefitshadbeengivenevenashesaid:theirmagazinepageswereblackwithhastyphotographs，theirprosewasconvulsivetheyfoamedattheheadline。Thenextdaytheywereworse。
Beforetheweekwasouttheywerenotsomuchpublishedascarriedscreamingintothestreet。
ThedominantfactintheuproarwastheexceptionalpersonalityofMr。Butteridge，andtheextraordinarytermshedemandedforthesecretofhismachine。
Foritwasasecretandhekeptitsecretinthemostelaboratefashion。HebuilthisapparatushimselfinthesafeprivacyofthegreatCrystalPalacesheds，withtheassistanceofinattentiveworkmen，andthedaynextfollowinghisflighthetookittopiecessinglehanded，packedcertainportions，andthensecuredunintelligentassistanceinpackinganddispersingtherest。Sealedpacking—caseswentnorthandeastandwesttovariouspantechnicons，andtheengineswereboxedwithpeculiarcare。Itbecameevidenttheseprecautionswerenotinadvisableinviewoftheviolentdemandforanysortofphotographorimpressionsofhismachine。ButMr。Butteridge，havingoncemadehisdemonstration，intendedtokeephissecretsafefromanyfurtherriskofleakage。HefacedtheBritishpublicnowwiththequestionwhethertheywantedhissecretornot;hewas，hesaidperpetually，an\"ImperialEnglishman，\"andhisfirstwishandhislastwastoseehisinventiontheprivilegeandmonopolyoftheEmpire。Only——
Itwastherethedifficultybegan。
Mr。Butteridge，itbecameevident，wasamansingularlyfreefromanyfalsemodesty——indeed，fromanymodestyofanykind——singularlywillingtoseeinterviewers，answerquestionsuponanytopicexceptaeronautics，volunteeropinions，criticisms，andautobiography，supplyportraitsandphotographsofhimself，andgenerallyspreadhispersonalityacrosstheterrestrialsky。Thepublishedportraitsinsistedprimarilyuponanimmenseblackmoustache，andsecondarilyuponafiercenessbehindthemoustache。ThegeneralimpressionuponthepublicwasthatButteridge，wasasmallman。Noonebig，itwasfelt，couldhavesovirulentlyaggressiveanexpression，though，asamatteroffact，Butteridgehadaheightofsixfeettwoinches，andaweightaltogetherproportionatetothat。Moreover，hehadaloveaffairoflargeandunusualdimensionsandirregularcircumstancesandthestilllargelydecorousBritishpubliclearntwithreluctanceandalarmthatasympathetictreatmentofthisaffairwasinseparablefromtheexclusiveacquisitionofthepricelesssecretofaerialstabilitybytheBritishEmpire。Theexactparticularsofthesimilaritynevercametolight，butapparentlytheladyhad，inafitofhigh—mindedinadvertence，hadgonethroughtheceremonyofmarriagewith，onequotestheunpublisheddiscourseofMr。Butteridge——\"awhite—liveredskunk，\"
andthiszoologicalaberrationdidinsomelegalandvexatiousmannermarhersocialhappines。Hewantedtotalkaboutthebusiness，toshowthesplendourofhernatureinthelightofitscomplications。Itwasreallymostembarrassingtoapressthathasalwayspossessedaconsiderableturnforreticence，thatwantedthingspersonalindeedinthemodernfashion。Yetnottoopersonal。Itwasembarrassing，Isay，tobeinexorablyconfrontedwithMr。Butteridge’sgreatheart，toseeitlaidopeninrelentlesssself—vivisection，anditspulsatingdissepiments’
adornedwithemphaticflaglabels。
Confrontedtheywere，andtherewasnogettingawayfromit。Hewouldmakethisappallingviscusbeatandthrobbeforetheshrinkingjournalists——nounclewithabigwatchandalittleeverbabyeverharpeduponitsorelentlessly;whateverevasiontheyattemptedhesetaside。He\"gloriedinhislove，\"hesaid，andcompelledthemtowriteitdown。
\"That’sofcourseaprivateaffair，Mr。Butteridge，\"theywouldobject。
\"Theinjustice，sorr，ispublic。IdonotcareeitherIamupagainstinstitutionsorindividuals。IdonotcareifIamupagainsttheuniversalAll。Iampleadingthecauseofawoman，awomanIlurve，sorr——anoblewoman——misunderstood。Iintendtovindicateher，sorr，tothefourwindsofheaven！\"
\"IlurveEngland，\"heusedtosay——\"lurveEngland，butPuritanism，sorr，Iabhor。Itfillsmewithloathing。Itraisesmygorge。Takemyowncase。\"
Heinsistedrelentlesslyuponhisheart，anduponseeingproofsoftheinterview。Iftheyhadnotdonejusticetohiseroticbellowingsandgesticulations，hestuckin，inalargeinkyscrawl，allandmorethantheyhadomitted。
ItwasastrangelyembarrassingthingforBritishjournalism。
Neverwasthereamoreobviousoruninterestingaffair;neverhadtheworldheardthestoryoferraticaffectionwithlessappetiteorsympathy。OntheotherhanditwasextremelycuriousaboutMr。Butteridge’sinvention。ButwhenMr。Butteridgecouldbedeflectedforamomentfromthecauseoftheladyhechampioned，thenhetalkedchiefly，andusuallywithtearsoftendernessinhisvoice，abouthismotherandhischildhood——hismotherwhocrownedacompleteencyclopediaofmaternalvirtuebybeing\"largelyScotch。\"Shewasnotquiteneat，butnearlyso。\"Ioweeverythinginmetomemother，\"heasserted——\"everything。Eh！\"
and——\"askanymanwho’sdoneanything。You’llhearthesamestory。Allwehaveweowetowomen。Theyarethespecies，sorr。
Manisbutadream。Hecomesandgoes。Thewoman’ssoulleadethusupwardandon！\"
Hewasalwaysgoingonlikethat。
WhatinparticularhewantedfromtheGovernmentforhissecretdidnotappear，norwhatbeyondamoneypaymentcouldbeexpectedfromamodemstateinsuchanaffair。Thegeneraleffectuponjudiciousobservers，indeed，wasnotthathewastreatingforanything，butthathewasusinganunexampledopportunitytobellowandshowofftoanattentiveworld。Rumoursofhisrealidentityspreadabroad。ItwassaidthathehadbeenthelandlordofanambiguoushotelinCapeTown，andhadtheregivenshelterto，andwitnessed，theexperimentsandfinallystolenthepapersandplansof，anextremelyshyandfriendlessyounginventornamedPalliser，whohadcometoSouthAfricafromEnglandinanadvancedstageofconsumption，anddiedthere。
This，atanyrate，wastheallegationofthemoreoutspokenAmericanpress。Buttheproofordisproofofthatneverreachedthepublic。
Mr。Butteridgealsoinvolvedhimselfpassionatelyinatangleofdisputesforthepossessionofagreatnumberofvaluablemoneyprizes。Someofthesehadbeenofferedsolongagoas1906forsuccessfulmechanicalflight。BythetimeofMr。Butteridge’ssuccessareallyveryconsiderablenumberofnewspapers，temptedbytheimpunityofthepioneersinthisdirection，hadpledgedthemselvestopayinsomecases，quiteoverwhelmingsumstothefirstpersontoflyfromManchestertoGlasgow，fromLondontoManchester，onehundredmiles，twohundredmilesinEngland，andthelike。Mosthadhedgedalittlewithambiguousconditions，andnowofferedresistance;oneortwopaidatonce，andvehementlycalledattentiontothefact;andMr。Butteridgeplungedintolitigationwiththemorerecalcitrant，whileatthesametimesustainingavigorousagitationandcanvasstoinducetheGovernmenttopurchasehisinvention。
Onefact，however，remainedpermanentthroughoutallthedevelopmentsofthisaffairbehindButteridge’spreposterousloveinterest，hispoliticsandpersonality，andallhisshoutingandboasting，andthatwasthat，sofarasthemassofpeopleknew，hewasinsolepossessionofthesecretofthepracticableaeroplaneinwhich，forallonecouldtelltothecontrary，thekeyofthefutureempireoftheworldresided。Andpresently，tothegreatconsternationofinnumerablepeople，includingamongothersMr。BertSmallways，itbecameapparentthatwhatevernegotiationswereinprogressfortheacquisitionofthisprecioussecretbytheBritishGovernmentwereindangeroffallingthrough。TheLondonDailyRequiemfirstvoicedtheuniversalalarm，andpublishedaninterviewundertheterrificcaptionof，\"Mr。ButteridgeSpeakshisMind。\"
Thereintheinventor——ifhewasaninventor——pouredouthisheart。
\"Icamefromtheendoftheearth，\"hesaid，whichratherseemedtoconfirmtheCapeTownstory，\"bringingmeMotherlandthesecretthatwouldgivehertheempireoftheworld。AndwhatdoIget？\"Hepaused。\"Iamsniffedatbyelderlymandarins！……
AndthewomanIloveistreatedlikealeper！\"
\"IamanImperialEnglishman，\"hewentoninasplendidoutburst，subsequentlywrittenintotheinterviewbyhisownhand;\"buttheretherearelimitstothehumanheart！Thereareyoungernations——livingnations！Nationsthatdonotsnoreandgurglehelplesslyinparoxysmsofplethorauponbedsofformalityandredtape！Therearenationsthatwillnotflingawaytheempireofearthinordertoslightanunknownmanandinsultanoblewomanwhosebootstheyarenotfittedtounlatch。TherearenationsnotblindedtoScience，notgivenoverhandandfoottoeffetesnobocraciesandDegenerateDecadents。Inshort，markmywords——THEREAREOTHERNATIONS！\"
ThisspeechitwasthatparticularlyimpressedBertSmallways。
\"IfthemGermansorthemAmericansgetholdofthis，\"hesaidimpressivelytohisbrother，\"theBritishEmpire’sdone。It’sU—P。TheUnionJack，sotospeak，won’tbeworththepaperit’swrittenon，Tom。\"
\"Isupposeyoucouldn’tlendusahandthismorning，\"saidJessica，inhisimpressivepause。\"EverybodyinBunHillseemswantingearlypotatoesatonce。Tomcan’tcarryhalfofthem。\"
\"We’relivingonavolcano，\"saidBert，disregardingthesuggestion。\"Atanymomentwarmaycome——suchawar！\"
Heshookhisheadportentously。
\"You’dbettertakethislotfirst，Tom，\"saidJessica。SheturnedbrisklyonBert。\"Canyouspareusamorning？\"sheasked。
\"IdessayIcan，\"saidBert。\"Theshop’sveryquiets’morning。
ThoughallthisdangertotheEmpireworriesmesomethingfrightful。\"
\"Work’lltakeitoffyourmind，\"saidJessica。
Andpresentlyhetoowasgoingoutintoaworldofchangeandwonder，bowedbeneathaloadofpotatoesandpatrioticinsecurity，thatmergedatlastintoaverydefiniteirritationattheweightandwantofstyleofthepotatoesandaveryclearconceptionoftheentiredetestablenessofJessica。
CHAPTERII
HOWBERTSMALLWAYSGOTINTODIFFICULTIES
ItdidnotoccurtoeitherTomorBertSmallwaysthatthisremarkableaerialperformanceofMr。Butteridgewaslikelytoaffecteitheroftheirlivesinanyspecialmanner，thatitwouldinanywaysinglethemoutfromthemillionsaboutthem;andwhentheyhadwitnesseditfromthecrestofBunHillandseenthefly—likemechanism，itsrotatingplanesagoldenhazeinthesunset，sinkhummingtotheharbourofitsshedagain，theyturnedbacktowardsthesunkengreen—grocerybeneaththegreatironstandardoftheLondontoBrightonmono—rail，andtheirmindsrevertedtothediscussionthathadengagedthembeforeMr。
Butteridge’striumphhadcomeinsightoutoftheLondonhaze。
Itwasadifficultandunsuccessfuldiscussions。Theyhadtocarryitoninshoutsbecauseofthemoaningandroaringofthegyroscopicmotor—carsthattraversedtheHighStreet，andinitsnatureitwascontentiousandprivate。TheGrubbbusinesswasindifficulties，andGrubbinamomentoffinancialeloquencehadgivenahalf—shareinittoBert，whoserelationswithhisemployerhadbeenforsometimeunsalariedandpallishandinformal。
BertwastryingtoimpressTomwiththeideathatthereconstructedGrubb&Smallwaysofferedunprecedentedandunparalleledopportunitiestothejudicioussmallinvestor。ItwascominghometoBert，asthoughitwereanentirelynewfact，thatTomwassingularlyimpervioustoideas。Intheendheputthefinancialissuesononeside，and，makingthethingentirelyamatteroffraternalaffection，succeededinborrowingasovereignonthesecurityofhiswordofhonour。
ThefirmofGrubb&Smallways，formerlyGrubb，hadindeedbeensingularlyunluckyinthelastyearorso。Formanyyearsthebusinesshadstruggledalongwithaflavourofromanticinsecurityinasmall，dissolute—lookingshopintheHighStreet，adornedwithbrilliantlycolouredadvertisementsofcycles，adisplayofbells，trouser—clips，oil—cans，pump—clips，frame—cases，wallets，andotheraccessories，andtheannouncementof\"BicyclesonHire，\"\"Repairs，\"\"Freeinflation，\"\"Petrol，\"
andsimilarattractions。Theywereagentsforseveralobscuremakesofbicycle，——twosamplesconstitutedthestock，——andoccasionallytheyeffectedasale;theyalsorepairedpuncturesanddidtheirbest——thoughluckwasnotalwaysontheirside——
withanyotherrepairingthatwasbroughttothem。Theyhandledalineofcheapgramophones，anddidalittlewithmusicalboxes。
Thestapleoftheirbusinesswas，however，thelettingofbicyclesonhire。Itwasasingulartrade，obeyingnoknowncommercialoreconomicprinciples——indeed，noprinciples。Therewasastockofladies’andgentlemen’sbicyclesinastateofdisrepairthatpassesdescription，andthese，thehiringstock，werelettounexactingandrecklesspeople，inexpertinthethingsofthisworld，atanominalrateofoneshillingforthefirsthourandsixpenceperhourafterwards。Butreallytherewerenofixedprices，andinsistentboyscouldgetbicyclesandthethrillofdangerforanhourforsolowasumasthreepence，providedtheycouldconvinceGrubbthatthatwasalltheyhad。
Thesaddleandhandle—barwerethensketchilyadjustedbvGrubb，adepositexacted，exceptinthecaseoffamiliarboys，themachinelubricated，andtheadventurerstarteduponhiscareer。
Usuallyheorshecameback，butattimes，whentheaccidentwasserious，BertorGrubbhadtogooutandfetchthemachinehome。
Hirewasalwayschargeduptothehourofreturntotheshopanddeductedfromthedeposit。Itwasrarethatabicyclestartedoutfromtheirhandsinastateofpedanticefficiency。Romanticpossibilitiesofaccidentlurkedinthewornthreadofthescrewthatadjustedthesaddle，intheprecariouspedals，intheloose—knitchain，inthehandle—bars，aboveallinthebrakesandtyres。Tappingsandclankingsandstrangerhythmiccreakingsawokeastheintrepidhirerpedalledoutintothecountry。Thenperhapsthebellwouldjamorabrakefailtoactonahill;ortheseat—pillarwouldgetloose，andthesaddledropthreeorfourincheswithadisconcertingbump;orthelooseandrattlingchainwouldjumpthecogsofthechain—wheelasthemachinerandownhill，andsobringthemechanismtoanabruptanddisastrousstopwithoutatthesametimearrestingtheforwardmomentumoftherider;oratyrewouldbang，orsighquietly，andgiveupthestruggleforefficiency。
Whenthehirerreturned，aheatedpedestrian，Grubbwouldignoreallverbalcomplaints，andexaminethemachinegravely。
\"Thisain’t’adfairusage，\"heusedtobegin。
Hebecameamildembodimentofthespiritofreason。\"Youcan’texpectabicycletotakeyouupinitsarmsandcarryyou，\"heusedtosay。\"Yougottoshowintelligence。Afterall——it’smachinery。\"
Sometimestheprocessofliquidatingtheconsequentclaimsborderedonviolence。Itwasalwaysaveryrhetoricalandoftenatryingaffair，butintheseprogressivetimesyouhavetomakeanoisetogetaliving。Itwasoftenhardwork，butneverthelessthishiringwasafairlysteadysourceofprofit，untilonedayallthepanesinthewindowanddoorwerebrokenandthestockonsaleinthewindowgreatlydamagedanddisorderedbvtwoover—criticalhirerswithnosenseofrhetoricalirrelevance。Theywerebig，coarsestokersfromGravesend。Onewasannoyedbecausehisleftpedalhadcomeoff，andtheotherbecausehistyrehadbecomedeflated，smallandindeednegligibleaccidentsbyBunHillstandards，dueentirelytotheungentlehandlingofthedelicatemachinesentrustedtothem——andtheyfailedtoseeclearlyhowtheyputthemselvesinthewrongbythismethodofargument。Itisapoorwayofconvincingamanthathehasletyouadefectivemachinetothrowhisfoot—pumpabouthisshop，andtakehisstockofgongsoutsideinordertoreturnthemthroughthewindow—panes。ItcarriednorealconvictiontothemindsofeitherGrubborBert;itonlyirritatedandvexedthem。Onequarrelmakesmany，andthisunpleasantnessledtoaviolentdisputebetweenGrubbandthelandlorduponthemoralaspectsofandlegalresponsibilityfortheconsequentre—glazing。IntheendGrubbandSmallwayswereputtotheexpenseofastrategicnocturnalremovaltoanotherposition。
Itwasapositiontheyhadlongconsidered。Itwastsmall，shed—likeshopwithaplate—glasswindowandoneroombehind，justatthesharpbendintheroadatthebottomofBunHill;andheretheystruggledalongbravely，inspiteofpersistentannoyancefromtheirformerlandlord，hopingforcertaineventualitiesthepeculiarsituationoftheshopseemedtopromise。Here，too，theyweredoomedtodisappointment。
TheHighRoadfromLondontoBrightonthatranthroughBunHillwasliketheBritishEmpireortheBritishConstitution——athingthathadgrowntoitspresentimportance。UnlikeanyotherroadsinEuropetheBritishhighroadshaveneverbeensubjectedtoanyorganisedattemptstogradeorstraightenthemout，andtothatnodoubttheirpeculiarpicturesquenessistobeascribed。TheoldBunHillHighStreetdropsatitsendforperhapseightyorahundredfeetofdescentatanangleofoneinfive，turnsatrightanglestotheleft，runsinacurveforaboutthirtyyardstoabrickbridgeoverthedryditchthathadoncebeentheOtterbourne，andthenbendssharplytotherightagainroundadenseclumpoftreesandgoeson，asimple，straightforward，peacefulhighroad。Therehadbeenoneortwohorse—and—vanandbicycleaccidentsintheplacebeforetheshopBertandGrubbtookwasbuilt，and，tobefrank，itwastheprobabilityofothersthatattractedthemtoit。
Itspossibilitieshadcometothemfirstwithahumorousflavour。
\"Here’soneoftheplaceswhereachapmightgetalivingbykeepinghens，\"saidGrubb。
\"Youcan’tgetalivingbykeepinghens，\"saidBert。
\"You’dkeepthehenandhaveitspatch—cocked，\"saidGrubb。\"Themotorchapswouldpayforit。\"
Whentheyreallycametotaketheplacetheyrememberedthisconversation。Hens，however，wereoutofthequestion;therewasnoplaceforarununlesstheyhaditintheshop。Itwouldhavebeenobviouslyoutofplacethere。Theshopwasmuchmoremodernthantheirformerone，andhadaplate—glassfront。\"Soonerorlater，\"saidBert，\"weshallgetamotor—carthroughthis。\"
\"That’sallright，\"saidGrubb。\"Compensation。Idon’tmindwhenthatmotor—carcomesalong。Idon’tmindevenifitgivesmeashocktothesystem。
\"Andmeanwhile，\"saidBert，withgreatartfulness，\"I’mgoingtobuymyselfadog。\"
Hedid。Heboughtthreeinsuccession。HesurprisedthepeopleattheDogs’HomeinBatterseabydemandingadeafretriever，andrejectingeverycandidatethatprickedupitsears。\"Iwantagood，deaf，slow—movingdog，\"hesaid。\"Adogthatdoesn’tputhimselfoutforthings。\"
Theydisplayedinconvenientcuriosity;theydeclaredagreatscarcityofdeafdogs。
\"Yousee，\"theysaid，\"dogsaren’tdeaf。\"
\"Mine’sgottobe，\"saidBert。\"I’veHADdogsthataren’tdeaf。
AllIwant。It’slikethis，yousee——Isellgramophones。
NaturallyIgottomake’emtalkandtootleabittoshow’emorf。Well，adogthatisn’tdeafdoesn’tlikeit——getsexcited，smellsround，barks，growls。Thatupsetsthecustomer。See？
Thenadogthathashishearingfanciesthings。Makesburglarsoutofpassingtramps。Wantstofighteverymotorthatmakesawhizz。Allverywellifyouwantliveningup，butourplaceislivelyenough。Idon’twantadogofthatsort。Iwantaquietdog。\"
Intheendhegotthreeinsuccession，butnoneofthemturnedoutwell。Thefirststrayedoffintotheinfinite，heedingnoappeals;thesecondwaskilledinthenightbyafruitmotor—waggonwhichfledbeforeGrubbcouldgetdown;thethirdgotitselfentangledinthefrontwheelofapassingcyclist，whocamethroughtheplateglass，andprovedtobeanactoroutofworkandanundischargedbankrupt。Hedemandedcompensationforsomefanciedinjury，wouldhearnothingofthevaluabledoghehadkilledorthewindowhehadbroken，obligedGrubbbysheerphysicalobduracytostraightenhisbuckledfrontwheel，andpesteredthestrugglingfirmwithaseriesofinhumanlywordedsolicitor’sletters。Grubbansweredthem——stingingly，andputhimself，Bertthought，inthewrong。
Affairsgotmoreandmoreexasperatingandstrainedunderthesepressures。Thewindowwasboardedup，andanunpleasantaltercationabouttheirdelayinrepairingitwiththenewlandlord，aBunHillbutcher——andaloud，bellowing，unreasonablepersonatthat——servedtoremindthemoftheirunsettledtroubleswiththeold。ThingswereatthispitchwhenBertbethoughthimselfofcreatingasortofdebenturecapitalinthebusinessforthebenefitofTom。But，asIhavesaid，Tomhadnoenterpriseinhiscomposition。Hisideaofinvestmentwasthestocking;hebribedhisbrothernottokeeptheofferopen。
Andthenill—luckmadeitslastlungeattheircrumblingbusinessandbroughtittotheground。
2
Itisapoorheartthatneverrejoices，andWhitsuntidehadanairofcomingasanagreeablebreakinthebusinesscomplicationsofGrubb&Smallways。EncouragedbythepracticaloutcomeofBert’snegotiationswithhisbrother，andbythefactthathalfthehiring—stockwasoutfromSaturdaytoMonday，theydecidedtoignoretheresiduumofhiring—tradeonSundayanddevotethatdaytomuch—neededrelaxationandrefreshment——tohave，infact，anunstintedgoodtime，abeanoonWhitSundayandreturninvigoratedtograpplewiththeirdifficultiesandtheBankHolidayrepairsontheMonday。Nogoodthingwaseverdonebyexhaustedanddispiritedmen。IthappenedthattheyhadmadetheacquaintanceoftwoyoungladiesinemploymentinClapham，MissFlossieBrightandMissEdnaBunthorne，anditwasresolvedthereforetomakeacheerfullittlecyclistpartyoffourintotheheartofKent，andtopicnicandspendanindolentafternoonandeveningamongthetreesandbrackenbetweenAshfordandMaidstone。
MissBrightcouldrideabicycle，andamachinewasfoundforher，notamongthehiringstock，butspecially，inthesampleheldforsale。MissBunthorne，whomBertparticularlyaffected，couldnotride，andsowithsomedifficultyhehiredabasket—
worktrailerfromthebigbusinessofWray’sintheClaphamRoad。
