第9章

类别:其他 作者:John Galsworthy字数:10465更新时间:18/12/18 14:50:10
\"Let’shearwhatyoumakeofme,\"hesaid。 WhenDawneyhadexaminedhim,heasked: \"Well?\" \"Well,\"answeredDawneyslowly,\"there’strouble,ofcourse。\" Mr。Treffrybrokeoutwithahuskywhisper:\"Outwithit,Doctor; don’thumbugme。\" Dawneybentdown,andtookhiswrist。 \"Idon’tknowhowyou’vegotintothisstate,sir,\"hesaidwiththebrusquenessofemotion。\"You’reinabadway。It’stheoldtrouble; andyouknowwhatthatmeansaswellasI。AllIcantellyouis,I’mgoingtohaveabigfightwithit。Itshan’tbemyfault,there’smyhandonthat。\" Mr。Treffrylaywithhiseyesfixedontheceiling;atlasthesaid: \"Iwanttolive。\" \"Yes——yes。\" \"Ifeelbetternow;don’tmakeafussaboutit。It’llbeveryawkwardifIdiejustnow。Patchmeup,forthesakeofmyniece。\" Dawneynodded。\"Oneminute,thereareafewthingsIwant,\"andhewentout。 AmomentlaterGretastoleinontiptoe。ShebentovertillherhairtouchedMr。Treffry’sface。 \"UncleNic!\"shewhispered。Heopenedhiseyes。 \"Hallo,Greta!\" \"Ihavecometobringyoumylove,UncleNic,andtosaygood—bye。 PapasaysthatIandScruffandMissNayloraregoingtoViennawithhim;wehavehadtopackinhalfanhour;infiveminuteswearegoingtoVienna,anditismyfirstvisitthere,UncleNic。\" \"ToVienna!\"Mr。Treffryrepeatedslowly。\"Don’thaveaguide,Greta;they’rehumbugs。\" \"No,UncleNic,\"saidGretasolemnly。 \"Drawthecurtains,oldgirl,let’shavealookatyou。Why,you’reassmartasninepence!\" \"Yes,\"saidGretawithasigh,touchingthebuttonsofhercape,\"becauseIamgoingtoVienna;butIamsorrytoleaveyou,UncleNic。\" \"Areyou,Greta?\" \"ButyouwillhaveChris,andyouarefonderofChristhanofme,UncleNic。\" \"I’veknownherlonger。\" \"Perhapswhenyou’veknownmeaslongasChris,youshallbeasfondofme。\" \"WhenI’veknownyouaslong——maybe。\" \"WhileIamgone,UncleNic,youaretogetwell,youarenotverywell,youknow。\" \"Whatputthatintoyourhead?\" \"Ifyouwerewellyouwouldbesmokingacigar——itisjustthreeo’clock。Thiskissisformyself,thisisforScruff,andthisisforMissNaylor。\" Shestooduprightagain;atremulous,joyfulgravitywasinhereyesandonherlips。 \"Good—bye,mydear;takecareofyourselves;anddon’tyouhaveaguide,they’rehumbugs。\" \"No,UncleNic。Thereisthecarriage!ToVienna,UncleNic!\"Thedeadgoldofherhairgleamedinthedoorway。Mr。Treffryraisedhimselfuponhiselbow。 \"Giveusonemore,forluck!\" Gretaranback。 \"Iloveyouverymuch!\"shesaid,andkissinghim,backedslowly,then,turning,flewoutlikeabird。 Mr。Treffryfixedhiseyesontheshutdoor。 XXI Aftermanydaysofhot,stillweather,thewindhadcome,andwhirledthedustalongtheparchedroads。Theleaveswereallastir,liketinywings。RoundVillaRubeinthepigeonscooeduneasily,alltheotherbirdsweresilent。LateintheafternoonChristiancameoutontheveranda,readingaletter: \"DEARCHRIS,——Weareherenowsixdays,anditisaverylargeplacewithmanychurches。Inthefirstplacethenwehavebeentoagreatmany,butthenicestofthemisnotSt。Stephan’sKirche,itisanother,butIdonotrememberthename。Papaisoutnearlyallthenight;hesaysheisrestinghere,soheisnotabletocometothechurcheswithus,butIdonotthinkherestsverymuch。Thedaybeforeyesterdaywe,thatis,Papa,I,andMissNaylor,wenttoanexhibitionofpictures。Itwasquitebeautifulandinteresting(MissNaylorsaysitisnotrighttosay’quite’beautiful,butIdonotknowwhatotherwordcouldmean’quite’excepttheword’quite,’ becauseitisnotexceedinglyandnotextremely。AndOChris!therewasonepicturepaintedbyhim;itwasaboutashipwithoutmasts—— MissNaylorsaysitisabarge,butIdonotknowwhatabargeis——onfire,and,floatingdownariverinafog。Ithinkitisextremelybeautiful。MissNaylorsaysitisveryimpressionistick——whatisthat?andPapasaid’Puh!’buthedidnotknowitwaspaintedbyHerrHarz,soIdidnottellhim。 \"TherehasalsobeenstayingatourhotelthatCountSarelliwhocameoneeveningtodinneratourhouse,butheisgoneawaynow。Hesatalldayinthewintergardenreading,andatnighthewentoutwithPapa。MissNaylorsaysheisunhappy,butIthinkhedoesnottakeenoughexercise;andOChris!onedayhesaidtome,’Thatisyoursister,Mademoiselle,thatyoungladyinthewhitedress?Doesshealwayswearwhitedresses?’andIsaidtohim:’Itisnotalwaysawhitedress;inthepicture,itisgreen,becausethepictureiscalled\"Spring。’\"ButIdidnottellhimthecoloursofallyourdressesbecausehelookedsotired。Thenhesaidtome:’Sheisverycharming。’SoItellyouthis,Chris,becauseIthinkyoushallliketoknow。Scruff’hasasoretoe;itisbecausehehaseatentoomuchmeat。 \"Itisnotnicewithoutyou,Chris,andMissNaylorsaysIamimprovingmymindhere,butIdonotthinkitshallimproveverymuch,becauseatnightIlikeitalwaysbest,whentheshopsarelightedandthecarriagesaredrivingpast;thenIamwantingtodance。ThefirstnightPapasaidhewouldtakemetothetheatre,butyesterdayhesaiditwasnotgoodforme;perhapsto—morrowheshallthinkitgoodformeagain。 \"YesterdaywehavebeeninthePrater,andsawmanypeople,andsomethatPapaknew;andthencamethemostinterestingpartofall,sittingunderthetreesintherainfortwohoursbecausewecouldnotgetacarriage(veryexciting)。 \"Thereisoneyoungladyhere,onlysheisnotanylongerveryyoung,whoknewPapawhenhewasaboy。Ilikeherverymuch;sheshallsoonknowmequitetothebottomandisverykind。 \"TheillhusbandofCousinTeresawhowentwithustoMeranandlostherumbrellaandDr。Edmundwassosorryaboutit,hasbeenverymuchworse,sosheisnotherebutinBaden。Iwrotetoherbuthavenonews,soIdonotknowwhetherheisstilllivingornot,atanyratehecan’tgetwellagainsosoon(andIdon’tthinkheevershall)。I thinkastheweatherisverywarmyouandUncleNicaresittingmuchoutofdoors。Iamsendingpresentstoyouallinawoodenboxandscrewedveryfirm,soyoushallhavetouseagainthebigscrew— driverofFritz。ForAuntConstance,photographs;forUncleNic,agreenbirdonastandwithaholeinthebackofthebirdtoputhisashesin;itisagoodgreenandnotexpensifpleasetellhim,becausehedoesnotlikeexpensifpresents(MissNaylorsaysthebirdhasaninquiringeye——itisaparrat);foryou,alittlebroochofturquoisebecauseIlikethembest;forDr。EdmundamachinetoweighmedicinesinbecausehesaidhecouldnotgetagoodoneinBotzen; thisisaverygoodone,theshopmantoldmeso,andisthemostexpensifofallthepresents——sothatisallmymoney,excepttwogulden。IfPapashallgivemesomemore,IshallbuyforMissNayloraparasol,becauseitisusefulandthehandleofhersis’wobbley’ (thatisoneofDr。Edmund’swordsandIlikeit)。 \"Good—byeforthistime。Gretasendsyouherkiss。 \"PS。——MissNaylorhasreadallthisletter(exceptabouttheparasol) andthereareseveralthingsshedidnotwantmetoput,soIhavecopieditwithoutthethings,butatthelastIhavekeptthatcopymyself,sothatiswhythisissmudgyandseveralwordsarenotspeltwell,butallthethingsarehere。\" Christianread,smiling,buttofinishitwaslikedroppingatalisman,andherfaceclouded。Asuddendraughtblewherhairabout,andfromwithin,Mr。Treffry’scoughmingledwiththesoughingofthewind;theskywasfastblackening。Shewentindoors,tookapenandbegantowrite: \"MYFRIEND,——Whyhaven’tyouwrittentome?Itisso,longtowait。 UnclesaysyouareinItaly——itisdreadfulnottoknowforcertain。 Ifeelyouwouldhavewrittenifyoucould;andIcan’thelpthinkingofallthethingsthatmayhavehappened。Iamunhappy。UncleNicisill;hewillnotconfessit,thatishisway;butheisveryill。 Thoughperhapsyouwillneverseethis,Imustwritedownallmythoughts。SometimesIfeelthatIambrutaltobealwaysthinkingaboutyou,scheminghowtobewithyouagain,whenheislyingtheresoill。Howgoodhehasalwaysbeentome;itisterriblethatloveshouldpulloneapartso。Surelyloveshouldbebeautiful,andpeaceful,insteadoffillingmewithbitter,wickedthoughts。Iloveyou——andIlovehim;IfeelasifIweretornintwo。Whyshoulditbeso?Whyshouldthebeginningofonelifemeantheendingofanother,onelovethedestructionofanother?Idon’tunderstand。 Thesamespiritmakesmeloveyouandhim,thesamesympathy,thesametrust——yetitsometimesseemsasifIwereacriminalinlovingyou。Youknowwhathethinks——heistoohonestnottohaveshownyou。Hehastalkedtome;helikesyouinaway,butyouareaforeigner——hesays—yourlifeisnotmylife。’Heisnotthemanforyou!’Thosewerehiswords。Andnowhedoesn’ttalktome,butwhenIamintheroomhelooksatme——that’sworse——athousandtimes;whenhetalksitrousesmetofight——whenit’shiseyesonly,I’macowardatonce;IfeelIwoulddoanything,anything,onlynottohurthim。 Whycan’thesee?Isitbecausehe’soldandweareyoung?Hemayconsent,buthewillnever,neversee;itwillalwayshurthim。 \"Iwanttotellyoueverything;Ihavehadworsethoughtsthanthese— —sometimesIhavethoughtthatIshouldneverhavethecouragetofacethestrugglewhichyouhavetoface。ThenIfeelquitebroken; itislikesomethinggivingwayinme。ThenIthinkofyou,anditisover;butithasbeenthere,andIamashamed——ItoldyouIwasacoward。It’slikethefeelingonewouldhavegoingoutintoastormonadarknight,awayfromawarmfire——onlyofthespiritnotthebody——whichmakesitworse。Ihadtotellyouthis;youmustn’tthinkofitagain,Imeantofightitawayandforgetthatithaseverbeenthere。ButUncleNic——whatamItodo?IhatemyselfbecauseIamyoung,andheisoldandweak——sometimesIseemeventohatehim。Ihaveallsortsofthoughts,andalwaysattheendofthem,likeadarkholeattheendofapassage,thethoughtthatI oughttogiveyouup。OughtI?Tellme。Iwanttoknow,Iwanttodowhatisright;Istillwanttodothat,thoughsometimesIthinkI amallmadeofevil。 \"Doyourememberoncewhenweweretalking,yousaid:’Naturealwayshasananswerforeveryquestion;youcannotgetananswerfromlaws,conventions,theories,words,onlyfromNature。’Whatdoyousaytomenow;doyoutellmeitisNaturetocometoyouinspiteofeverything,andso,thatitmustberight?Ithinkyouwould;butcanitbeNaturetodosomethingwhichwillhurtterriblyonewhomI loveandwholovesme?Ifitis——Natureiscruel。Isthatoneofthe’lessonsoflife’?IsthatwhatAuntConstancemeanswhenshesays:’Iflifewerenotaparadox,wecouldnotgetonatall’?Iambeginningtoseethateverythinghasitsdarkside;Ineverbelievedthatbefore。 \"UncleNicdreadsthelifeforme;hedoesn’tunderstand(howshouldhe?——hehasalwayshadmoney)howlifecanbetolerablewithoutmoney——itishorriblethattheaccidentofmoneyshouldmakesuchdifferenceinourlives。Iamsometimesafraidmyself,andIcan’toutfacethatfearinhim;heseestheshadowofhisfearinme——hiseyesseemtoseeeverythingthatisinmenow;theeyesofoldpeoplearethesaddestthingsintheworld。Iamwritinglikeawretchedcoward,butyouwillneverseethisletterIsuppose,andsoitdoesn’tmatter;butifyoudo,andIpraythatyoumay——well,ifIamonlyworthtakingatmybest,Iamnotworthtakingatall。Iwantyoutoknowtheworstofme——you,andnooneelse。 \"WithUncleNicitisnotaswithmystepfather;hisoppositiononlymakesmeangry,mad,readytodoanything,butwithUncleNicIfeelsobruised——sosore。Hesaid:’Itisnotsomuchthemoney,becausethereisalwaysmine。’Icouldneverdoathinghecannotbear,andtakehismoney,andyouwouldneverletme。Oneknowsverylittleofanythingintheworldtilltroublecomes。Youknowhowitiswithflowersandtrees;intheearlyspringtheylooksoquietandself— contained;thenallinamomenttheychange——Ithinkitmustbelikethatwiththeheart。IusedtothinkIknewagreatdeal,understoodwhyandhowthingscameabout;Ithoughtself—possessionandreasonsoeasy;nowIknownothing。AndnothingintheworldmattersbuttoseeyouandhideawayfromthatlookinUncleNic’seyes。ThreemonthsagoIdidnotknowyou,nowIwritelikethis。WhateverI lookat,Itrytoseeasyouwouldsee;Ifeel,nowyouareawayevenmorethanwhenyouwerewithme,whatyourthoughtswouldbe,howyouwouldfeelaboutthisorthat。Somethingsyouhavesaidseemalwaysinmymindlikelights——\" Aslantingdriftofrainwasstrikingtheverandatileswithacold,ceaselesshissing。Christianshutthewindow,andwentintoheruncle’sroom。 Hewaslyingwithclosedeyes,growlingatDominique,whomovedaboutnoiselessly,puttingtheroomreadyforthenight。Whenhehadfinished,andwithacompassionatebowhadlefttheroom,Mr。Treffryopenedhiseyes,andsaid: \"Thisisbeastlystuffofthedoctor’s,Chris,itputsmymonkeyup; Ican’thelpswearingafterI’vetakenit;it’sasbeastlyasavulgarwoman’slaugh,andIdon’tknowanythingbeastlierthanthat!\" \"IhavealetterfromGreta,UncleNic;shallIreadit?\" Henodded,andChristianreadtheletter,leavingoutthementionofHarz,andforsomeundefinedreasonthepartaboutSarelli。 \"Ay!\"saidMr。Treffrywithafeeblelaugh,\"Gretaandhermoney! Sendhersomemore,Chris。WishIwereayoungsteragain;that’sabeastofaproverbaboutadogandhisday。I’dliketogofishingagainintheWestCountry!Afinetimewehadwhenwewereyoungsters。Youdon’tgetsuchtimesthesedays。’Twasn’toftenthefishing—smackswentoutwithoutus。We’dwatchtheirlightsfromourbedroomwindow;whentheywereswungaboardwewereoutanddowntothequaybeforeyoucouldsay’knife。’Theyalwayswaitedforus; butyourUncleDanwasthefavourite,hewasthechapforluck。WhenIgetonmylegs,wemightgodownthere,youandI?Forabit,justtosee?Whatd’yousay,oldgirl?\" Theireyesmet。 \"I’dliketolookatthesmacklightsgoingtoseaonadarknight; pityyou’resuchadufferinaboat——wemightgooutwiththem。Doyouapowerofgood!You’renotlookingthething,mydear。\" Hisvoicediedwistfully,andhisglance,sweepingherface,restedonherhands,whichheldandtwistedGreta’sletter。Afteraminuteortwoofsilenceheboomedoutagainwithsuddenenergy: \"Youraunt’llwanttocomeandsitwithme,afterdinner;don’tlether,Chris,Ican’tstandit。TellherI’masleep——thedoctor’llbeheredirectly;askhimtomakeupsomehumbugforyou——it’shisbusiness。\" Hewasseizedbyaviolentfitofpainwhichseemedtostabhisbreathaway,andwhenitwasoversignedthathewouldbeleftalone。 Christianwentbacktoherletterintheotherroom,andhadwrittenthesewords,whenthegongsummonedhertodinner: ’I’mlikealeafinthewind,Iputoutmyhandtoonething,andit’sseizedandtwistedandflungaside。Iwantyou——Iwantyou;ifIcouldseeyouIthinkIshouldknowwhattodo——\" XXII Theraindrovewithincreasingfury。Thenightwasveryblack。 NicholasTreffrysleptheavily。Bythesideofhisbedthenight— lampcastontotheoppositewallabrightdiscfestoonedbythehangingshadowoftheceiling。Christianwasleaningoverhim。Forthemomenthefilledallherheart,lyingthere,sohelpless。Fearfulofwakinghimsheslippedintothesitting—room。Outsidethewindowstoodamanwithhisfacepressedtothepane。Herheartthumped; shewentupandunlatchedthewindow。ItwasHarz,withtheraindrippingoffhim。Heletfallhishatandcape。 \"You!\"shesaid,touchinghissleeve。\"You!You!\" Hewassoddenwithwet,hisfacedrawnandtired;adarkgrowthofbeardcoveredhischeeksandchin。 \"Whereisyouruncle?\"hesaid;\"Iwanttoseehim。\" Sheputherhanduptohislips,buthecaughtitandcovereditwithkisses。 \"He’sasleep——ill——speakgently!\" \"Icametohimfirst,\"hemuttered。 Christianlitthelamp;andhelookedatherhungrilywithoutaword。 \"It’snotpossibletogoonlikethis;Icametotellyouruncleso。 Heisaman。Asfortheother,Iwanttohavenothingtodowithhim!Icamebackonfootacrossthemountains。It’snotpossibletogoonlikethis,Christian。\" Shehandedhimherletter。Heheldittothelight,clearinghisbrowofraindrops。Whenhehadreadtothelastwordhegaveitherback,andwhispered:\"Come!\" Herlipsmoved,butshedidnotspeak。 \"WhilethisgoesonIcan’twork;Icandonothing。Ican’t——Iwon’tbargainwithmywork;ifit’stobethat,wehadbetterendit。Whatarewewaitingfor?Soonerorlaterwemustcometothis。I’msorrythathe’sill,Godknows!Butthatchangesnothing。Towaitistyingmehandandfoot——it’smakingmeafraid!Fearkills!Itwillkillyou!Itkillswork,andImustwork,Ican’twastetime——I won’t!Iwillsoonergiveyouup。\"Heputhishandsonhershoulders。\"Iloveyou!Iwantyou!Lookinmyeyesandseeifyoudareholdback!\" Christianstoodwiththegripofhisstronghandsonhershoulders,withoutamovementorsign。Herfacewasverywhite。Andsuddenlyhebegantokissthatpale,stillface,tokissitseyesandlips,tokissitfromitschinuptoitshair;anditstayedpale,asawhiteflower,beneaththosekisses——asawhiteflower,whosestalkthefingersbendbackalittle。 Therewasasoundofknockingonthewall;Mr。Treffrycalledfeebly。 ChristianbrokeawayfromHarz。 \"To—morrow!\"hewhispered,andpickinguphishatandcloak,wentoutagainintotherain。 XXIII ItwasnottillmorningthatChristianfellintoatroubledsleep。 Shedreamedthatavoicewascallingher,andshewasfilledwithahelpless,dumbdreamterror。 Whenshewokethelightwasstreamingin;itwasSunday,andthecathedralbellswerechiming。HerfirstthoughtwasofHarz。Onestep,onemomentofcourage!Whyhadshenottoldheruncle?Ifhehadonlyasked!Butwhy——whyshouldshetellhim?Whenitwasoverandshewasgone,hewouldseethatallwasforthebest。 HereyesfellonGreta’semptybed。Shesprangup,andbendingover,kissedthepillow。’Shewillmindatfirst;butshe’ssoyoung! Nobodywillreallymissme,exceptUncleNic!’Shestoodalongwhileinthewindowwithoutmoving。Whenshewasdressedshecalledouttohermaid: \"Bringmesomemilk,Barbi;I’mgoingtochurch。\" \"Ach!gnadigesFrdulein,willyounobreakfasthave?\" \"Nothankyou,Barbi。\" \"LiebesFraulein,whatabeautifulmorningaftertherainithasbecome!Howcool!Itisforyougood——forthecolourinyourcheeks;nowtheywillbloomagain!\"andBarbistrokedherownwell— colouredcheeks。 Dominique,sunninghimselfoutsidewithaclothacrosshisarm,bowedasshepassed,andsmiledaffectionately: \"Heisbetterthismorning,M’mselle。Wemarch——wearegettingon。 Goodnewswillputtheheartintoyou。\" Christianthought:’Howsweeteveryoneisto—day!’ EventheVillaseemedtogreether,withthesunaslantonit;andthetrees,tremblingandweepinggoldentears。Atthecathedralshewasearlyfortheservice,buthereandtherewerefiguresontheirknees;thefaint,sicklyodouroflong—burntincenseclungintheair;apriestmovedsilentlyatthefarend。Sheknelt,andwhenatlastsherosetheservicehadbegun。Withthesoundoftheintoningasenseofpeacecametoher——thepeaceofresolution。Forgoodorbadshefeltthatshehadfacedherfate。 Shewentoutwithalookofquietserenityandwalkedhomealongthedyke。ClosetoHarz’sstudioshesatdown。Now——itwasherown;allthathadbelongedtohim,thathadeverhadapartinhim。 Anoldbeggar,whohadbeenwatchingher,camegentlyfrombehind。 \"Graciouslady!\"hesaid,peeringathereyes,\"thisistheluckydayforyou。Ihavelostmyluck。\" Christianopenedherpurse,therewasonlyonecoininit,agoldpiece;thebeggar’seyessparkled。 Shethoughtsuddenly:’It’snolongermine;Imustbegintobecareful,’butshefeltashamedwhenshelookedattheoldman。 \"Iamsorry,\"shesaid;\"yesterdayIwouldhavegivenyouthis,but—— butnowit’salreadygiven。\" Heseemedsooldandpoor——whatcouldshegivehim?Sheunhookedalittlesilverbroochatherthroat。\"Youwillgetsomethingforthat,\"shesaid;\"it’sbetterthannothing。Iamverysorryyouaresooldandpoor。\" Thebeggarcrossedhimself。\"Graciouslady,\"hemuttered,\"mayyouneverwant!\" Christianhurriedon;therustlingofleavessooncarriedthewordsaway。Shedidnotfeelinclinedtogoin,andcrossingthebridgebegantoclimbthehill。Therewasagentlebreeze,driftingthecloudsacrossthesun;lizardsdartedoutoverthewalls,lookedather,andwhiskedaway。 Thesunshine,dapplingthroughthetopsoftrees,gasheddownonatorrent。Theearthsmeltsweet,thevineyardsroundthewhitefarmsglistened;everythingseemedtoleapanddancewithsapandlife;itwasamomentofSpringinmidsummer。Christianwalkedon,wonderingatherownhappiness。 ’AmIheartless?’shethought。’Iamgoingtoleavehim——Iamgoingintolife;Ishallhavetofightnow,there’llbenolookingback。’ Thepathbrokeawayandwounddowntothelevelofthetorrent;ontheothersideitroseagain,andwaslostamongtrees。Thewoodsweredank;shehastenedhome。 Inherroomshebegantopack,sortingandtearingupoldletters。 ’Onlyonethingmatters,’shethought;’singlenessofheart;toseeyourway,andkeeptoitwithallyourmight。’ ShelookedupandsawBarbistandingbeforeherwithtowelsinherhands,andascaredface。 \"Areyougoingajourney,gnadigesFraulein?\" \"Iamgoingawaytobemarried,Barbi,\"saidChristianatlast; \"don’tspeakofittoanyone,please。\" Barbileantalittleforwardwiththetowelsclaspedtothebluecottonbosomofherdress。 \"No,no!Iwillnotspeak。But,dearFraulein,thatisabigmatter;haveyouwellthought?\" \"Thought,Barbi?HaveInot!\" \"But,dearFrauIein,willyouberich?\" \"No!Ishallbeaspoorasyou。\" \"Ach!dearGod!thatisterrible。Katrina,mysister,sheismarried;shetellsmeallherlife;shetellsmeitisveryhard,andbutforthemoneyinherstockingitwouldbeharder。DearFraulein,thinkagain!Andishegood?Sometimestheyarenotgood。\" \"Heisgood,\"saidChristian,rising;\"itisallsettled!\"andshekissedBarbionthecheek。 \"Youarecrying,liebesFraulein!Thinkyetagain,perhapsitisnotquiteallsettled;itisnotpossiblethatamaidenshouldnotawayoutleave?\" Christiansmiled。\"Idon’tdothingsthatway,Barbi。\" Barbihungthetowelsonthehorse,andcrossedherself。 Mr。Treffry’sgazewasfixedonatortoise—shellbutterflyflutteringroundtheceiling。Theinsectseemedtofascinatehim,asthingswhichmovequicklyalwaysfascinatethehelpless。Christiancamesoftlyin。 \"Couldn’tstayinbed,Chris,\"hecalledoutwithanairofguilt。 \"Theheatwassomethingawful。Thedoctorpipedoffinahuff,justbecauseo’this。\"Hemotionedtowardsajugofclaret—cupandapipeonthetablebyhiselbow。\"Iwasonlylookingat’em。\" Christian,sittingdownbesidehim,tookupafan。 \"IfIcouldgetoutofthisheat——\"hesaid,andclosedhiseyes。 ’Imusttellhim,’shethought;’Ican’tslinkaway。’ \"Pourmeoutsomeofthatstuff,Chris。\" Shereachedforthejug。Yes!Shemusttellhim!Herheartsank。 Mr。Treffrytookalengthydraught。\"Brokenmypromise;don’tmatter——won’thurtanyonebutme。\"Hetookupthepipeandpressedtobaccointoit。\"I’vebeenlyingherewiththispaingoingrightthroughme,andneverasmoke!D’youtellmeanythingtheparsonssaycandomehalfthegoodofthispipe?\"Heleanedback,steepedinaluxuryofsatisfaction。Hewenton,pursuingaprivatetrainofthought:\"Thingshavechangedalotsincemyyoungdays。WhenIwasayoungster,ayoungfellowhadtolookoutforpeckandperch——heputthefutureinhispocket。Hedidwellornot,accordingashehadstuffinhim。Nowhe’snotcontentwiththat,itseems——tradesonhisownopinionofhimself;thinksheiswhathesayshe’sgoingtobe。\" \"Youareunjust,\"saidChristian。 Mr。Treffrygrunted。\"Ah,well!IliketoknowwhereIam。IfI lendmoneytoaman,Iliketoknowwhetherhe’sgoingtopayitback;Imaynotcarewhetherhedoesornot,butIliketoknow。Thesamewithotherthings。Idon’tcarewhatamanhas——though,mindyou,Chris,it’snotabadrulethatmeasuresmenbythebalanceattheirbanks;butwhenitcomestomarriage,there’saverysimplerule,What’snotenoughforoneisnotenoughfortwo。Youcan’ttalkblackwhite,orbreadintoyourmouth。Idon’tcaretospeakaboutmyself,asyouknow,Chris,butItellyouthis——whenIcametoLondonIwantedtomarry——Ihadn’tanymoney,andIhadtowant。 WhenIhadthemoney——butthat’sneitherherenorthere!\"Hefrowned,fingeringhispipe。