\"Let’shearwhatyoumakeofme,\"hesaid。
WhenDawneyhadexaminedhim,heasked:
\"Well?\"
\"Well,\"answeredDawneyslowly,\"there’strouble,ofcourse。\"
Mr。Treffrybrokeoutwithahuskywhisper:\"Outwithit,Doctor;
don’thumbugme。\"
Dawneybentdown,andtookhiswrist。
\"Idon’tknowhowyou’vegotintothisstate,sir,\"hesaidwiththebrusquenessofemotion。\"You’reinabadway。It’stheoldtrouble;
andyouknowwhatthatmeansaswellasI。AllIcantellyouis,I’mgoingtohaveabigfightwithit。Itshan’tbemyfault,there’smyhandonthat。\"
Mr。Treffrylaywithhiseyesfixedontheceiling;atlasthesaid:
\"Iwanttolive。\"
\"Yes——yes。\"
\"Ifeelbetternow;don’tmakeafussaboutit。It’llbeveryawkwardifIdiejustnow。Patchmeup,forthesakeofmyniece。\"
Dawneynodded。\"Oneminute,thereareafewthingsIwant,\"andhewentout。
AmomentlaterGretastoleinontiptoe。ShebentovertillherhairtouchedMr。Treffry’sface。
\"UncleNic!\"shewhispered。Heopenedhiseyes。
\"Hallo,Greta!\"
\"Ihavecometobringyoumylove,UncleNic,andtosaygood—bye。
PapasaysthatIandScruffandMissNayloraregoingtoViennawithhim;wehavehadtopackinhalfanhour;infiveminuteswearegoingtoVienna,anditismyfirstvisitthere,UncleNic。\"
\"ToVienna!\"Mr。Treffryrepeatedslowly。\"Don’thaveaguide,Greta;they’rehumbugs。\"
\"No,UncleNic,\"saidGretasolemnly。
\"Drawthecurtains,oldgirl,let’shavealookatyou。Why,you’reassmartasninepence!\"
\"Yes,\"saidGretawithasigh,touchingthebuttonsofhercape,\"becauseIamgoingtoVienna;butIamsorrytoleaveyou,UncleNic。\"
\"Areyou,Greta?\"
\"ButyouwillhaveChris,andyouarefonderofChristhanofme,UncleNic。\"
\"I’veknownherlonger。\"
\"Perhapswhenyou’veknownmeaslongasChris,youshallbeasfondofme。\"
\"WhenI’veknownyouaslong——maybe。\"
\"WhileIamgone,UncleNic,youaretogetwell,youarenotverywell,youknow。\"
\"Whatputthatintoyourhead?\"
\"Ifyouwerewellyouwouldbesmokingacigar——itisjustthreeo’clock。Thiskissisformyself,thisisforScruff,andthisisforMissNaylor。\"
Shestooduprightagain;atremulous,joyfulgravitywasinhereyesandonherlips。
\"Good—bye,mydear;takecareofyourselves;anddon’tyouhaveaguide,they’rehumbugs。\"
\"No,UncleNic。Thereisthecarriage!ToVienna,UncleNic!\"Thedeadgoldofherhairgleamedinthedoorway。Mr。Treffryraisedhimselfuponhiselbow。
\"Giveusonemore,forluck!\"
Gretaranback。
\"Iloveyouverymuch!\"shesaid,andkissinghim,backedslowly,then,turning,flewoutlikeabird。
Mr。Treffryfixedhiseyesontheshutdoor。
XXI
Aftermanydaysofhot,stillweather,thewindhadcome,andwhirledthedustalongtheparchedroads。Theleaveswereallastir,liketinywings。RoundVillaRubeinthepigeonscooeduneasily,alltheotherbirdsweresilent。LateintheafternoonChristiancameoutontheveranda,readingaletter:
\"DEARCHRIS,——Weareherenowsixdays,anditisaverylargeplacewithmanychurches。Inthefirstplacethenwehavebeentoagreatmany,butthenicestofthemisnotSt。Stephan’sKirche,itisanother,butIdonotrememberthename。Papaisoutnearlyallthenight;hesaysheisrestinghere,soheisnotabletocometothechurcheswithus,butIdonotthinkherestsverymuch。Thedaybeforeyesterdaywe,thatis,Papa,I,andMissNaylor,wenttoanexhibitionofpictures。Itwasquitebeautifulandinteresting(MissNaylorsaysitisnotrighttosay’quite’beautiful,butIdonotknowwhatotherwordcouldmean’quite’excepttheword’quite,’
becauseitisnotexceedinglyandnotextremely。AndOChris!therewasonepicturepaintedbyhim;itwasaboutashipwithoutmasts——
MissNaylorsaysitisabarge,butIdonotknowwhatabargeis——onfire,and,floatingdownariverinafog。Ithinkitisextremelybeautiful。MissNaylorsaysitisveryimpressionistick——whatisthat?andPapasaid’Puh!’buthedidnotknowitwaspaintedbyHerrHarz,soIdidnottellhim。
\"TherehasalsobeenstayingatourhotelthatCountSarelliwhocameoneeveningtodinneratourhouse,butheisgoneawaynow。Hesatalldayinthewintergardenreading,andatnighthewentoutwithPapa。MissNaylorsaysheisunhappy,butIthinkhedoesnottakeenoughexercise;andOChris!onedayhesaidtome,’Thatisyoursister,Mademoiselle,thatyoungladyinthewhitedress?Doesshealwayswearwhitedresses?’andIsaidtohim:’Itisnotalwaysawhitedress;inthepicture,itisgreen,becausethepictureiscalled\"Spring。’\"ButIdidnottellhimthecoloursofallyourdressesbecausehelookedsotired。Thenhesaidtome:’Sheisverycharming。’SoItellyouthis,Chris,becauseIthinkyoushallliketoknow。Scruff’hasasoretoe;itisbecausehehaseatentoomuchmeat。
\"Itisnotnicewithoutyou,Chris,andMissNaylorsaysIamimprovingmymindhere,butIdonotthinkitshallimproveverymuch,becauseatnightIlikeitalwaysbest,whentheshopsarelightedandthecarriagesaredrivingpast;thenIamwantingtodance。ThefirstnightPapasaidhewouldtakemetothetheatre,butyesterdayhesaiditwasnotgoodforme;perhapsto—morrowheshallthinkitgoodformeagain。
\"YesterdaywehavebeeninthePrater,andsawmanypeople,andsomethatPapaknew;andthencamethemostinterestingpartofall,sittingunderthetreesintherainfortwohoursbecausewecouldnotgetacarriage(veryexciting)。
\"Thereisoneyoungladyhere,onlysheisnotanylongerveryyoung,whoknewPapawhenhewasaboy。Ilikeherverymuch;sheshallsoonknowmequitetothebottomandisverykind。
\"TheillhusbandofCousinTeresawhowentwithustoMeranandlostherumbrellaandDr。Edmundwassosorryaboutit,hasbeenverymuchworse,sosheisnotherebutinBaden。Iwrotetoherbuthavenonews,soIdonotknowwhetherheisstilllivingornot,atanyratehecan’tgetwellagainsosoon(andIdon’tthinkheevershall)。I
thinkastheweatherisverywarmyouandUncleNicaresittingmuchoutofdoors。Iamsendingpresentstoyouallinawoodenboxandscrewedveryfirm,soyoushallhavetouseagainthebigscrew—
driverofFritz。ForAuntConstance,photographs;forUncleNic,agreenbirdonastandwithaholeinthebackofthebirdtoputhisashesin;itisagoodgreenandnotexpensifpleasetellhim,becausehedoesnotlikeexpensifpresents(MissNaylorsaysthebirdhasaninquiringeye——itisaparrat);foryou,alittlebroochofturquoisebecauseIlikethembest;forDr。EdmundamachinetoweighmedicinesinbecausehesaidhecouldnotgetagoodoneinBotzen;
thisisaverygoodone,theshopmantoldmeso,andisthemostexpensifofallthepresents——sothatisallmymoney,excepttwogulden。IfPapashallgivemesomemore,IshallbuyforMissNayloraparasol,becauseitisusefulandthehandleofhersis’wobbley’
(thatisoneofDr。Edmund’swordsandIlikeit)。
\"Good—byeforthistime。Gretasendsyouherkiss。
\"PS。——MissNaylorhasreadallthisletter(exceptabouttheparasol)
andthereareseveralthingsshedidnotwantmetoput,soIhavecopieditwithoutthethings,butatthelastIhavekeptthatcopymyself,sothatiswhythisissmudgyandseveralwordsarenotspeltwell,butallthethingsarehere。\"
Christianread,smiling,buttofinishitwaslikedroppingatalisman,andherfaceclouded。Asuddendraughtblewherhairabout,andfromwithin,Mr。Treffry’scoughmingledwiththesoughingofthewind;theskywasfastblackening。Shewentindoors,tookapenandbegantowrite:
\"MYFRIEND,——Whyhaven’tyouwrittentome?Itisso,longtowait。
UnclesaysyouareinItaly——itisdreadfulnottoknowforcertain。
Ifeelyouwouldhavewrittenifyoucould;andIcan’thelpthinkingofallthethingsthatmayhavehappened。Iamunhappy。UncleNicisill;hewillnotconfessit,thatishisway;butheisveryill。
Thoughperhapsyouwillneverseethis,Imustwritedownallmythoughts。SometimesIfeelthatIambrutaltobealwaysthinkingaboutyou,scheminghowtobewithyouagain,whenheislyingtheresoill。Howgoodhehasalwaysbeentome;itisterriblethatloveshouldpulloneapartso。Surelyloveshouldbebeautiful,andpeaceful,insteadoffillingmewithbitter,wickedthoughts。Iloveyou——andIlovehim;IfeelasifIweretornintwo。Whyshoulditbeso?Whyshouldthebeginningofonelifemeantheendingofanother,onelovethedestructionofanother?Idon’tunderstand。
Thesamespiritmakesmeloveyouandhim,thesamesympathy,thesametrust——yetitsometimesseemsasifIwereacriminalinlovingyou。Youknowwhathethinks——heistoohonestnottohaveshownyou。Hehastalkedtome;helikesyouinaway,butyouareaforeigner——hesays—yourlifeisnotmylife。’Heisnotthemanforyou!’Thosewerehiswords。Andnowhedoesn’ttalktome,butwhenIamintheroomhelooksatme——that’sworse——athousandtimes;whenhetalksitrousesmetofight——whenit’shiseyesonly,I’macowardatonce;IfeelIwoulddoanything,anything,onlynottohurthim。
Whycan’thesee?Isitbecausehe’soldandweareyoung?Hemayconsent,buthewillnever,neversee;itwillalwayshurthim。
\"Iwanttotellyoueverything;Ihavehadworsethoughtsthanthese—
—sometimesIhavethoughtthatIshouldneverhavethecouragetofacethestrugglewhichyouhavetoface。ThenIfeelquitebroken;
itislikesomethinggivingwayinme。ThenIthinkofyou,anditisover;butithasbeenthere,andIamashamed——ItoldyouIwasacoward。It’slikethefeelingonewouldhavegoingoutintoastormonadarknight,awayfromawarmfire——onlyofthespiritnotthebody——whichmakesitworse。Ihadtotellyouthis;youmustn’tthinkofitagain,Imeantofightitawayandforgetthatithaseverbeenthere。ButUncleNic——whatamItodo?IhatemyselfbecauseIamyoung,andheisoldandweak——sometimesIseemeventohatehim。Ihaveallsortsofthoughts,andalwaysattheendofthem,likeadarkholeattheendofapassage,thethoughtthatI
oughttogiveyouup。OughtI?Tellme。Iwanttoknow,Iwanttodowhatisright;Istillwanttodothat,thoughsometimesIthinkI
amallmadeofevil。
\"Doyourememberoncewhenweweretalking,yousaid:’Naturealwayshasananswerforeveryquestion;youcannotgetananswerfromlaws,conventions,theories,words,onlyfromNature。’Whatdoyousaytomenow;doyoutellmeitisNaturetocometoyouinspiteofeverything,andso,thatitmustberight?Ithinkyouwould;butcanitbeNaturetodosomethingwhichwillhurtterriblyonewhomI
loveandwholovesme?Ifitis——Natureiscruel。Isthatoneofthe’lessonsoflife’?IsthatwhatAuntConstancemeanswhenshesays:’Iflifewerenotaparadox,wecouldnotgetonatall’?Iambeginningtoseethateverythinghasitsdarkside;Ineverbelievedthatbefore。
\"UncleNicdreadsthelifeforme;hedoesn’tunderstand(howshouldhe?——hehasalwayshadmoney)howlifecanbetolerablewithoutmoney——itishorriblethattheaccidentofmoneyshouldmakesuchdifferenceinourlives。Iamsometimesafraidmyself,andIcan’toutfacethatfearinhim;heseestheshadowofhisfearinme——hiseyesseemtoseeeverythingthatisinmenow;theeyesofoldpeoplearethesaddestthingsintheworld。Iamwritinglikeawretchedcoward,butyouwillneverseethisletterIsuppose,andsoitdoesn’tmatter;butifyoudo,andIpraythatyoumay——well,ifIamonlyworthtakingatmybest,Iamnotworthtakingatall。Iwantyoutoknowtheworstofme——you,andnooneelse。
\"WithUncleNicitisnotaswithmystepfather;hisoppositiononlymakesmeangry,mad,readytodoanything,butwithUncleNicIfeelsobruised——sosore。Hesaid:’Itisnotsomuchthemoney,becausethereisalwaysmine。’Icouldneverdoathinghecannotbear,andtakehismoney,andyouwouldneverletme。Oneknowsverylittleofanythingintheworldtilltroublecomes。Youknowhowitiswithflowersandtrees;intheearlyspringtheylooksoquietandself—
contained;thenallinamomenttheychange——Ithinkitmustbelikethatwiththeheart。IusedtothinkIknewagreatdeal,understoodwhyandhowthingscameabout;Ithoughtself—possessionandreasonsoeasy;nowIknownothing。AndnothingintheworldmattersbuttoseeyouandhideawayfromthatlookinUncleNic’seyes。ThreemonthsagoIdidnotknowyou,nowIwritelikethis。WhateverI
lookat,Itrytoseeasyouwouldsee;Ifeel,nowyouareawayevenmorethanwhenyouwerewithme,whatyourthoughtswouldbe,howyouwouldfeelaboutthisorthat。Somethingsyouhavesaidseemalwaysinmymindlikelights——\"
Aslantingdriftofrainwasstrikingtheverandatileswithacold,ceaselesshissing。Christianshutthewindow,andwentintoheruncle’sroom。
Hewaslyingwithclosedeyes,growlingatDominique,whomovedaboutnoiselessly,puttingtheroomreadyforthenight。Whenhehadfinished,andwithacompassionatebowhadlefttheroom,Mr。Treffryopenedhiseyes,andsaid:
\"Thisisbeastlystuffofthedoctor’s,Chris,itputsmymonkeyup;
Ican’thelpswearingafterI’vetakenit;it’sasbeastlyasavulgarwoman’slaugh,andIdon’tknowanythingbeastlierthanthat!\"
\"IhavealetterfromGreta,UncleNic;shallIreadit?\"
Henodded,andChristianreadtheletter,leavingoutthementionofHarz,andforsomeundefinedreasonthepartaboutSarelli。
\"Ay!\"saidMr。Treffrywithafeeblelaugh,\"Gretaandhermoney!
Sendhersomemore,Chris。WishIwereayoungsteragain;that’sabeastofaproverbaboutadogandhisday。I’dliketogofishingagainintheWestCountry!Afinetimewehadwhenwewereyoungsters。Youdon’tgetsuchtimesthesedays。’Twasn’toftenthefishing—smackswentoutwithoutus。We’dwatchtheirlightsfromourbedroomwindow;whentheywereswungaboardwewereoutanddowntothequaybeforeyoucouldsay’knife。’Theyalwayswaitedforus;
butyourUncleDanwasthefavourite,hewasthechapforluck。WhenIgetonmylegs,wemightgodownthere,youandI?Forabit,justtosee?Whatd’yousay,oldgirl?\"
Theireyesmet。
\"I’dliketolookatthesmacklightsgoingtoseaonadarknight;
pityyou’resuchadufferinaboat——wemightgooutwiththem。Doyouapowerofgood!You’renotlookingthething,mydear。\"
Hisvoicediedwistfully,andhisglance,sweepingherface,restedonherhands,whichheldandtwistedGreta’sletter。Afteraminuteortwoofsilenceheboomedoutagainwithsuddenenergy:
\"Youraunt’llwanttocomeandsitwithme,afterdinner;don’tlether,Chris,Ican’tstandit。TellherI’masleep——thedoctor’llbeheredirectly;askhimtomakeupsomehumbugforyou——it’shisbusiness。\"
Hewasseizedbyaviolentfitofpainwhichseemedtostabhisbreathaway,andwhenitwasoversignedthathewouldbeleftalone。
Christianwentbacktoherletterintheotherroom,andhadwrittenthesewords,whenthegongsummonedhertodinner:
’I’mlikealeafinthewind,Iputoutmyhandtoonething,andit’sseizedandtwistedandflungaside。Iwantyou——Iwantyou;ifIcouldseeyouIthinkIshouldknowwhattodo——\"
XXII
Theraindrovewithincreasingfury。Thenightwasveryblack。
NicholasTreffrysleptheavily。Bythesideofhisbedthenight—
lampcastontotheoppositewallabrightdiscfestoonedbythehangingshadowoftheceiling。Christianwasleaningoverhim。Forthemomenthefilledallherheart,lyingthere,sohelpless。Fearfulofwakinghimsheslippedintothesitting—room。Outsidethewindowstoodamanwithhisfacepressedtothepane。Herheartthumped;
shewentupandunlatchedthewindow。ItwasHarz,withtheraindrippingoffhim。Heletfallhishatandcape。
\"You!\"shesaid,touchinghissleeve。\"You!You!\"
Hewassoddenwithwet,hisfacedrawnandtired;adarkgrowthofbeardcoveredhischeeksandchin。
\"Whereisyouruncle?\"hesaid;\"Iwanttoseehim。\"
Sheputherhanduptohislips,buthecaughtitandcovereditwithkisses。
\"He’sasleep——ill——speakgently!\"
\"Icametohimfirst,\"hemuttered。
Christianlitthelamp;andhelookedatherhungrilywithoutaword。
\"It’snotpossibletogoonlikethis;Icametotellyouruncleso。
Heisaman。Asfortheother,Iwanttohavenothingtodowithhim!Icamebackonfootacrossthemountains。It’snotpossibletogoonlikethis,Christian。\"
Shehandedhimherletter。Heheldittothelight,clearinghisbrowofraindrops。Whenhehadreadtothelastwordhegaveitherback,andwhispered:\"Come!\"
Herlipsmoved,butshedidnotspeak。
\"WhilethisgoesonIcan’twork;Icandonothing。Ican’t——Iwon’tbargainwithmywork;ifit’stobethat,wehadbetterendit。Whatarewewaitingfor?Soonerorlaterwemustcometothis。I’msorrythathe’sill,Godknows!Butthatchangesnothing。Towaitistyingmehandandfoot——it’smakingmeafraid!Fearkills!Itwillkillyou!Itkillswork,andImustwork,Ican’twastetime——I
won’t!Iwillsoonergiveyouup。\"Heputhishandsonhershoulders。\"Iloveyou!Iwantyou!Lookinmyeyesandseeifyoudareholdback!\"
Christianstoodwiththegripofhisstronghandsonhershoulders,withoutamovementorsign。Herfacewasverywhite。Andsuddenlyhebegantokissthatpale,stillface,tokissitseyesandlips,tokissitfromitschinuptoitshair;anditstayedpale,asawhiteflower,beneaththosekisses——asawhiteflower,whosestalkthefingersbendbackalittle。
Therewasasoundofknockingonthewall;Mr。Treffrycalledfeebly。
ChristianbrokeawayfromHarz。
\"To—morrow!\"hewhispered,andpickinguphishatandcloak,wentoutagainintotherain。
XXIII
ItwasnottillmorningthatChristianfellintoatroubledsleep。
Shedreamedthatavoicewascallingher,andshewasfilledwithahelpless,dumbdreamterror。
Whenshewokethelightwasstreamingin;itwasSunday,andthecathedralbellswerechiming。HerfirstthoughtwasofHarz。Onestep,onemomentofcourage!Whyhadshenottoldheruncle?Ifhehadonlyasked!Butwhy——whyshouldshetellhim?Whenitwasoverandshewasgone,hewouldseethatallwasforthebest。
HereyesfellonGreta’semptybed。Shesprangup,andbendingover,kissedthepillow。’Shewillmindatfirst;butshe’ssoyoung!
Nobodywillreallymissme,exceptUncleNic!’Shestoodalongwhileinthewindowwithoutmoving。Whenshewasdressedshecalledouttohermaid:
\"Bringmesomemilk,Barbi;I’mgoingtochurch。\"
\"Ach!gnadigesFrdulein,willyounobreakfasthave?\"
\"Nothankyou,Barbi。\"
\"LiebesFraulein,whatabeautifulmorningaftertherainithasbecome!Howcool!Itisforyougood——forthecolourinyourcheeks;nowtheywillbloomagain!\"andBarbistrokedherownwell—
colouredcheeks。
Dominique,sunninghimselfoutsidewithaclothacrosshisarm,bowedasshepassed,andsmiledaffectionately:
\"Heisbetterthismorning,M’mselle。Wemarch——wearegettingon。
Goodnewswillputtheheartintoyou。\"
Christianthought:’Howsweeteveryoneisto—day!’
EventheVillaseemedtogreether,withthesunaslantonit;andthetrees,tremblingandweepinggoldentears。Atthecathedralshewasearlyfortheservice,buthereandtherewerefiguresontheirknees;thefaint,sicklyodouroflong—burntincenseclungintheair;apriestmovedsilentlyatthefarend。Sheknelt,andwhenatlastsherosetheservicehadbegun。Withthesoundoftheintoningasenseofpeacecametoher——thepeaceofresolution。Forgoodorbadshefeltthatshehadfacedherfate。
Shewentoutwithalookofquietserenityandwalkedhomealongthedyke。ClosetoHarz’sstudioshesatdown。Now——itwasherown;allthathadbelongedtohim,thathadeverhadapartinhim。
Anoldbeggar,whohadbeenwatchingher,camegentlyfrombehind。
\"Graciouslady!\"hesaid,peeringathereyes,\"thisistheluckydayforyou。Ihavelostmyluck。\"
Christianopenedherpurse,therewasonlyonecoininit,agoldpiece;thebeggar’seyessparkled。
Shethoughtsuddenly:’It’snolongermine;Imustbegintobecareful,’butshefeltashamedwhenshelookedattheoldman。
\"Iamsorry,\"shesaid;\"yesterdayIwouldhavegivenyouthis,but——
butnowit’salreadygiven。\"
Heseemedsooldandpoor——whatcouldshegivehim?Sheunhookedalittlesilverbroochatherthroat。\"Youwillgetsomethingforthat,\"shesaid;\"it’sbetterthannothing。Iamverysorryyouaresooldandpoor。\"
Thebeggarcrossedhimself。\"Graciouslady,\"hemuttered,\"mayyouneverwant!\"
Christianhurriedon;therustlingofleavessooncarriedthewordsaway。Shedidnotfeelinclinedtogoin,andcrossingthebridgebegantoclimbthehill。Therewasagentlebreeze,driftingthecloudsacrossthesun;lizardsdartedoutoverthewalls,lookedather,andwhiskedaway。
Thesunshine,dapplingthroughthetopsoftrees,gasheddownonatorrent。Theearthsmeltsweet,thevineyardsroundthewhitefarmsglistened;everythingseemedtoleapanddancewithsapandlife;itwasamomentofSpringinmidsummer。Christianwalkedon,wonderingatherownhappiness。
’AmIheartless?’shethought。’Iamgoingtoleavehim——Iamgoingintolife;Ishallhavetofightnow,there’llbenolookingback。’
Thepathbrokeawayandwounddowntothelevelofthetorrent;ontheothersideitroseagain,andwaslostamongtrees。Thewoodsweredank;shehastenedhome。
Inherroomshebegantopack,sortingandtearingupoldletters。
’Onlyonethingmatters,’shethought;’singlenessofheart;toseeyourway,andkeeptoitwithallyourmight。’
ShelookedupandsawBarbistandingbeforeherwithtowelsinherhands,andascaredface。
\"Areyougoingajourney,gnadigesFraulein?\"
\"Iamgoingawaytobemarried,Barbi,\"saidChristianatlast;
\"don’tspeakofittoanyone,please。\"
Barbileantalittleforwardwiththetowelsclaspedtothebluecottonbosomofherdress。
\"No,no!Iwillnotspeak。But,dearFraulein,thatisabigmatter;haveyouwellthought?\"
\"Thought,Barbi?HaveInot!\"
\"But,dearFrauIein,willyouberich?\"
\"No!Ishallbeaspoorasyou。\"
\"Ach!dearGod!thatisterrible。Katrina,mysister,sheismarried;shetellsmeallherlife;shetellsmeitisveryhard,andbutforthemoneyinherstockingitwouldbeharder。DearFraulein,thinkagain!Andishegood?Sometimestheyarenotgood。\"
\"Heisgood,\"saidChristian,rising;\"itisallsettled!\"andshekissedBarbionthecheek。
\"Youarecrying,liebesFraulein!Thinkyetagain,perhapsitisnotquiteallsettled;itisnotpossiblethatamaidenshouldnotawayoutleave?\"
Christiansmiled。\"Idon’tdothingsthatway,Barbi。\"
Barbihungthetowelsonthehorse,andcrossedherself。
Mr。Treffry’sgazewasfixedonatortoise—shellbutterflyflutteringroundtheceiling。Theinsectseemedtofascinatehim,asthingswhichmovequicklyalwaysfascinatethehelpless。Christiancamesoftlyin。
\"Couldn’tstayinbed,Chris,\"hecalledoutwithanairofguilt。
\"Theheatwassomethingawful。Thedoctorpipedoffinahuff,justbecauseo’this。\"Hemotionedtowardsajugofclaret—cupandapipeonthetablebyhiselbow。\"Iwasonlylookingat’em。\"
Christian,sittingdownbesidehim,tookupafan。
\"IfIcouldgetoutofthisheat——\"hesaid,andclosedhiseyes。
’Imusttellhim,’shethought;’Ican’tslinkaway。’
\"Pourmeoutsomeofthatstuff,Chris。\"
Shereachedforthejug。Yes!Shemusttellhim!Herheartsank。
Mr。Treffrytookalengthydraught。\"Brokenmypromise;don’tmatter——won’thurtanyonebutme。\"Hetookupthepipeandpressedtobaccointoit。\"I’vebeenlyingherewiththispaingoingrightthroughme,andneverasmoke!D’youtellmeanythingtheparsonssaycandomehalfthegoodofthispipe?\"Heleanedback,steepedinaluxuryofsatisfaction。Hewenton,pursuingaprivatetrainofthought:\"Thingshavechangedalotsincemyyoungdays。WhenIwasayoungster,ayoungfellowhadtolookoutforpeckandperch——heputthefutureinhispocket。Hedidwellornot,accordingashehadstuffinhim。Nowhe’snotcontentwiththat,itseems——tradesonhisownopinionofhimself;thinksheiswhathesayshe’sgoingtobe。\"
\"Youareunjust,\"saidChristian。
Mr。Treffrygrunted。\"Ah,well!IliketoknowwhereIam。IfI
lendmoneytoaman,Iliketoknowwhetherhe’sgoingtopayitback;Imaynotcarewhetherhedoesornot,butIliketoknow。Thesamewithotherthings。Idon’tcarewhatamanhas——though,mindyou,Chris,it’snotabadrulethatmeasuresmenbythebalanceattheirbanks;butwhenitcomestomarriage,there’saverysimplerule,What’snotenoughforoneisnotenoughfortwo。Youcan’ttalkblackwhite,orbreadintoyourmouth。Idon’tcaretospeakaboutmyself,asyouknow,Chris,butItellyouthis——whenIcametoLondonIwantedtomarry——Ihadn’tanymoney,andIhadtowant。
WhenIhadthemoney——butthat’sneitherherenorthere!\"Hefrowned,fingeringhispipe。