第8章

MYDEARBURROUGHS，——AsyoudescribemeIcanpicturemyselfasIwas20 yearsago。Theportraitiscorrect。YouthinkIhavegrownsome；uponmywordtherewasroomforit。Youhavedescribedacallowfool，aself- sufficientass，amerehumantumble-bug……imaginingthatheisremodelingtheworldandisentirelycapableofdoingitright。 Ignorance，intolerance，egotism，self-assertion，opaqueperception，denseandpitifulchuckle-headedness——andanalmostpatheticunconsciousnessofitall。ThatiswhatIwasat19and20；andthatiswhattheaverageSouthernerisat60today。Northerners，too，ofacertaingrade。Itisofchildrenlikethisthatvotersaremade。Andsuchistheprimalsourceofourgovernment！Amanhardlyknowswhethertoswearorcryoverit。 IthinkIcomprehendthepositionthere——perfectfreedomtovotejustasyouchoose，providedyouchoosetovoteasotherpeoplethink——socialostracism，otherwise。Thesamethingexistshere，amongtheIrish。 AnIrishRepublicanisapariahamonghispeople。YetthatracefindfaultwiththesamespiritinKnow-Nothingism。 Fortunatelyagooddealofexperienceofmenenabledmetochoosemyresidencewisely。Iliveinthefreestcornerofthecountry。TherearenosocialdisabilitiesbetweenmeandmyDemocraticpersonalfriends。 Webreakthebreadandeatthesaltofhospitalityfreelytogetherandneverdreamofsuchathingasofferingimpertinentinterferenceineachother”spoliticalopinions。 Don”tyouevercometoNewYorkagainandnotrunupheretoseeme。I SupposewewereawayforthesummerwhenyouwereEast；butnomatter，youcouldhavetelegraphedandfoundout。WewereatElmiraN。Y。andrightonyourroad，andcouldhavegivenyouagoodtimeifyouhadallowedusthechance。 Yes，WillBowenandIhaveexchangedlettersnowandthenforseveralyears，butIsuspectthatImadehimmadwithmylast——shortlyafteryousawhiminSt。Louis，Ijudge。ThereisonethingwhichIcan”tstandandwon”tstand，frommanypeople。Thatisshamsentimentality——thekindaschool-girlputsintohergraduatingcomposition；thesortthatmakesuptheOriginalPoetrycolumnofacountrynewspaper；therotthatdealsinthe“happydaysofyore，“the“sweetyetmelancholypast，“withits“blightedhopes“andits“vanisheddreams“andallthatsortofdrivel。 Will”swerealwaysofthisstamp。Istoodityears。WhenIgetaletterlikethatfromagrownmanandheawidowerwithafamily，itgivesmethestomachache。AndIjusttoldWillBowenso，lastsummer。Itoldhimtostopbeing16at40；toldhimtostopdroolingaboutthesweetyetmelancholypast，andtakeapill。Isaidtherewasbutonesolitarythingaboutthepastworthremembering，andthatwasthefactthatitisthepast——can”tberestored。Well，Iexaggeratedsomeofthesetruthsalittle——butonlyalittle——butmyideawastokillhisshamsentimentalityonceandforever，andsomakeagoodfellowofhimagain。 Iwenttotheunheard-oftroubleofre-writingtheletterandsayingthesameharshthingssoftly，soastosugarcoattheanguishandmakeitalittlemoreendurableandIaskedhimtowriteandthankmehonestlyfordoinghimthebestandkindliestfavorthatanyfriendeverhaddonehim——buthehasn”tdoneityet。Maybehewill，sometime。IamgratefultoGodthatIgotthatletteroffbeforehewasmarried(Igetthatnewsfromyou)elsehewouldjusthaveslobberedallovermeanddrownedmewhenthateventhappened。 Ienclosephotographfortheyoungladies。IwillremarkthatIdonotwearseal-skinforgrandeur，butbecauseIfound，whenIusedtolectureinthewinter，thatnothingelsewasabletokeepamanwarmsometimes，inthesehighlatitudes。Iwishyouhadsentpicturesofyourselfandfamily——I”lltradepictureforpicturewithyou，straightthrough，ifyouarecommerciallyinclined。 Youroldfriend，SAMLL。CLEMENS。 XVII。 LETTERS，1877。TOBERMUDAWITHTWICHELL。PROPOSITIONTOTH。NAST。 THEWHITTIERDINNER MarkTwainmusthavebeentoobusytowritelettersthatwinter。 Thosethathavesurvivedarefewandunimportant。Asamatteroffact，hewaswritingtheplay，“AhSin，“withBretHarte，andgettingitreadyforproduction。HartewasaguestintheClemenshomewhiletheplaywasbeingwritten，andnotalwaysapleasantone。Hewasfullofrequirements，criticalastothe”menage”tothepointofsarcasm。ThelongfriendshipbetweenClemensandHarteweakenedunderthestrainofcollaborationandintimatedailyintercourse，nevertorenewitsoldfiber。Itwasanunhappyoutcomeofanenterprisewhichinitselfwastoproveoflittleprofit。Theplay，“AhSin，“hadmanygoodfeatures，andwithCharlesT。ParsloeinanamusingChinesepartmighthavebeenmadeasuccess，ifthetwoauthorscouldhaveharmoniouslyundertakentheneededrepairs。ItopenedinWashingtoninMay，andaletterfromParsloe，writtenatthemoment，givesahintofthesituation。 FromCharlesT。ParsloetoS。L。Clemens： WASHINGTON，D。C。May11th，1877。 MR。CLEMENS，——IforgotwhetherIacknowledgedreceiptofcheckbytelegram。HartehasbeenheresinceMondaylastanddonelittleornothingyet，butpromisestohavesomethingfixedbytomorrowmorning。 Wehavebeenmakingsomeimprovementsamongourselves。Thelastactisweakattheend，andIdohopeMr。Hartewillhavesomethingforagoodfinishtothepiece。TheotheractsIthinkareallright，now。 Hopeyouhaveentirelyrecovered。Iamnotverywellmyself，theexcitementofafirstnightisbadenough，buttohavetheannoyancewithHartethatIhaveistoomuchforabeginner。Iain”tusedtoit。ThehouseshavebeenpickingupsinceTuesdayMr。Fordhasworkedwellandhardforus。 Yoursin，haste，CHAS。THOS。PARSLOE。 TheplaydrewsomegoodhousesinWashington，butitcouldnotholdthemforarun。Nevermindwhatwasthematterwithit；perhapsaverysmallchangeattherightpointwouldhaveturneditintoafinesuccess。WehaveseeninaformerlettertheobligationwhichMarkTwainconfessedtoHarte——adebthehadtriedinmanywaystorepay——obtainingforhimaliberalbookcontractwithBliss； advancinghimfrequentandlargesumsofmoneywhichHartecouldnot，ordidnot，repay；seekingtoadvancehisfortunesinmanydirections。Themistakecamewhenheintroducedanothergeniusintotheintracaciesofhisdailylife。ClemenswentdowntoWashingtonduringtheearlyrehearsalsof“AhSin。” Meantime，RutherfordB。HayeshadbeenelectedPresident，andClemensonedaycalledwithaletterofintroductionfromHowells，thinkingtomeettheChiefExecutive。HisownlettertoHowells，later，probablydoesnotgivetherealreasonofhisfailure，butitwillbeamusingtothosewhorecalltheerraticpersonalityofGeorgeFrancisTrain。TrainandTwainweresometimesconfusedbytheveryunlettered；orpretendedly，byMarkTwain”sfriends。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： BALTIMORE，May1，”77。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——FoundIwasnotabsolutelyneededinWashingtonsoI onlystaid24hours，andamonmywayhome，now。IcalledattheWhiteHouse，andgotadmissiontoCol。Rodgers，becauseIwantedtoinquirewhatwastherighthourtogoandinfestthe，President。Itwasmylucktostriketheplaceinthedeadwasteandmiddleoftheday，theverybusiesttime。IperceivedthatMr。RodgerstookmeforGeorgeFrancisTrainandhadmadeuphismindnottoletmegetatthePresident；soattheendofhalfanhourItookmyletterofintroductionfromthetableandwentaway。Itwasagreatpityallround，andagreatlosstothenation，forIwasbrimfulloftheEasternquestion。Ididn”tgettoseethePresidentortheChiefMagistrateeither，thoughIhadsortofaglimpseofaladyatawindowwhoresembledherportraits。 Yrsever，MARK。 HowellscondoledwithhimonhisfailuretoseethePresident，“but，“headded，“ifyouandIhadbothbeenthere，ourcombinedskillwouldhavenodoubtprocuredustobeexpelledfromtheWhiteHousebyFredDouglass。Butthethingseemstobeacompletefailureasitwas。”DouglassatthistimebeingtheMarshalofColumbia，givesspecialpointtoHowells”ssuggestion。 Later，inMay，ClemenstookTwichellforanexcursiontoBermuda。 HehadbeggedHowellstogowiththem，butHowells，asusual，wasfullofliteraryaffairs。TwichellandClemensspentfourgloriousdaystrampingthelengthandbreadthofthebeautifulisland，andremembereditalwaysasoneoftheirhappiestadventures。“PutitdownasanOasis！“wroteTwichellonhisreturn，“I”mafraidIshallnotseeasgreenaspotagainsoon。Anditwasyourinventionandyourgift。Andyourcompanywasthebestofit。Indeed，Inevertookmorecomfortinbeingwithyouthanonthisjourney，which，myboy，issayingagreatdeal。” ToHowells，Clemenstriumphantlyreportedthesuccessoftheexcursion。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： FARMINGTONAVENUE，HARTFORD，May29，1877。 Confoundyou，JoeTwichellandIroamedaboutBermudadayandnightandneverceasedtogabbleandenjoy。Abouthalfthetalkwas”ItisaburningshamethatHowellsisn”there。”“NobodycouldgetattheverymeatandmarrowofthispervadingcharmanddeliciousnesslikeHowells；“ “HowHowellswouldrevelinthequaintness，andthesimplicityofthispeopleandtheSabbathreposeofthisland。”“WhatanimperishablesketchHowellswouldmakeofCapt。Westthewhaler，andCapt。Hopewiththepatient，patheticface，wandererinalltheoceansfor42years，luckyinnone；cominghomedefeatedoncemore，now，minushisship—— resigned，uncomplaining，beingusedtothis。”“WhatarattlingchapterHowellswouldmakeoutofthesmallboyAlfred，withhisalerteyeandmilitarybrevityandexactnessofspeech；andoutoftheoldlandlady； andhersacredonions；andherdaughter；andthevisitingclergyman；andtheancientpianosofHamiltonandthevenerablemusicinvoguethere—— andfortyotherthingswhichweshallleaveuntouchedortouchedbutlightlyupon，wenotbeingworthy。”“DamHowellsfornotbeinghere！“ (thisusuallyfromme，notTwichell。) O，yourinsufferablepride，whichwillhaveafallsomeday！Ifyouhadgonewithusandletmepaythe$50whichthetripandtheboardandthevariousnicknacksandmementoeswouldcost，Iwouldhavepickedupenoughdroppingsfromyourconversationtopayme500percentprofitinthewayoftheseveralmagazinearticleswhichIcouldhavewritten，whereasI cannowwriteonlyoneortwoandamthereforelargelyoutofpocketbyyourproudways。Ponderthesethings。Lord，whataperfectlybewitchingexcursionitwas！Itraveledunderanassumednameandwasnevermolestedwithapoliteattentionfromanybody。 Lovetoyouall。 YrseverMARK Aldrich，meantime，hadinvitedtheClemensestoPonkapogduringtheBermudaabsence，andClemenshastenedtosendhimalineexpressingregrets。Attheclosehesaid： ToT。B。Aldrich，inPonkapog，Mass。： FARMINGTONAVENUE，HARTFORD，June3，1877。 DayaftertomorrowweleaveforthehillsbeyondElmira，N。Y。forthesummer，whenIshallhopetowriteabookofsomesortorothertobeatthepeoplewith。AworksimilartoyournewoneintheAtlanticiswhatImean，thoughIhavenotheardwhatthenatureofthatoneis。Immoral，Isuppose。Well，youareright。Suchbookssellbest，Howellssays。 Howellssaysheisgoingtomakehisnextbookindelicate。Hesayshethinksthereismoneyinit。Hesaysthereisalargeclassoftheyoung，inschoolsandseminarieswho——Butyoulethimtellyou。Hehasciphereditalldowntoademonstration。 WiththewarmestremembrancestothepairofyouEverYoursSAMUELL。CLEMENS。 ClemenswouldnaturallywritesomethingaboutBermuda，andbeganatonce，“RandomNotesofanIdleExcursion，“andpresentlycompletedfourpapers，whichHowellseagerlyacceptedfortheAtlantic。Thenwefindhimplungingintoanotherplay，thistimealone。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： ELMIRA，June27，1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Ifyoushouldnotlikethefirst2chapters，sendthemtomeandbeginwithChapter3——orPart3，Ibelieveyoucallthesethingsinthemagazine。IhavefinishedNo。4。，whichclosestheseries，andwillmailittomorrowifIthinkofit。Ilikethisone，Ilikedtheprecedingone(alreadymailedtoyousometimeago)butIhadmydoubtsabout1and2。Donothesitatetosquelchthem，evenwithderisionandinsult。 TodayIamdeepinacomedywhichIbeganthismorning——principalcharacter，thatolddetective——Iskeletonedthefirstactandwrotethesecond，today；andamdog-tired，now。Fifty-fourclosepagesofMSin7 hours。OnceIwrote55pagesatasitting——thatwasontheopeningchaptersofthe“GildedAge“novel。WhenIcooldown，anhourfromnow，Ishallgotozero，Ijudge。 Yrsever，MARK。 ClemenshaddoubtsastothequalityoftheBermudapapers，andwithsomereason。Theydidnotrepresenthimathisbest。Nevertheless，theywerepleasantlyentertaining，andHowellsexpressedfullapprovalofthemforAtlanticuse。Theauthorremainedtroubled。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： ELMIRA，July4，1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Itissplendidofyoutosaythosepleasantthings。 ButIamstillplaguedwithdoubtsaboutParts1and2。Ifyouhaveany，don”tprint。Ifotherwise，pleasemakesomecoldvillainlikeLathropreadandpasssentenceonthem。Mind，Ithoughttheyweregood，atfirst——itwasthesecondreadingthataccomplisheditshellishpurposeonme。Putthemupforanewverdict。Part4haslaininmypigeon-holeagoodwhile，andwhenIputitthereIhadaChristian”sconfidencein4 acesinit；andyoucanbesureitwillskiptowardConnecticuttomorrowbeforeanyfatalfreshreadingmakesmedrawmybet。 I”vepiledup151MSpagesonmycomedy。Thefirst，secondandfourthactsaredone，anddonetomysatisfaction，too。Tomorrowandnextdaywillfinishthe3rdactandtheplay。Ihavenotwrittenlessthan30 pagesanydaysinceIbegan。Neverhadsomuchfunoveranythinginmylife-neversuchconsuminginterestanddelight。(ButLordblessyouthesecondreadingwillfetchit！)Andjustthink！——IhadSolSmithRussellinmymind”seyefortheolddetective”spart，andhangithehasgoneoffpotteringwithOliverOptic，orelsethepaperslie。 IreadeverythingaboutthePresident”sdoingstherewithexultation。 Iwishthatoldassofaprivatesecretaryhadn”ttakenmeforGeorgeFrancisTrain。IfignorancewereameansofgraceIwouldn”ttradethatgorilla”schancesfortheArchbishopofCanterbury”s。 IshallcallonthePresidentagain，byandby。Ishallgoinmywarpaint；andifIamobstructedthenationwillhavetheunusualspectacleofaprivatesecretarywithapenoveroneearatomahawkovertheother。 IreadtheentireAtlanticthistime。Wonderfulnumber。Mrs。RoseTerryCooke”sstorywasaten-strike。Iwishshewouldwrite12old-timeNewEnglandtalesayear。 Goodtimestoyouall！Mindifyoudon”trunhereforafewdaysyouwillgotohencewithouthavinghadafore-glimpseofheaven。 MARK。 Theplay，“AhSin，“thathaddonelittleenoughinWashington，wasthatsummergivenanothertrialbyAugustinDaly，attheFifthAvenueTheater，NewYork，withafinecompany。Clemenshadundertakentodoctortheplay，anditwouldseemtohavehadanenthusiasticreceptionontheopeningnight。Butitwasasummeraudience，unspoiledbymanyattractions。“AhSin“wasneverasuccessintheNewYorkseason——neveramoney-makerontheroad。 ThereferenceinthefirstparagraphoftheletterthatfollowsistotheBermudachapterswhichMarkTwainwaspublishingsimultaneouslyinEnglandandAmerica。 ELMIRA，Aug3，1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——IhavemailedonesetoftheslipstoLondon，andtoldBentleyyouwouldprintSept。15，inOctoberAtlantic，andhemustnotprintearlierinTempleBar。HaveIgotthedatesandthingsright？ IampowerfulgladtoseethatNo。1readsanationsightbetterinprintthanitdidinMS。ItoldBentleywe”dsendhimtheslips，eachtime，6 weeksbeforedayofpublication。Wecandothatcan”twe？TwomonthsaheadwouldbestillbetterIsuppose，butIdon”tknow。 “AhSin“wenta-boomingattheFifthAvenue。ThereceptionofCol。 Sellerswascalmcomparedtoit。 *Thecriticismswerejust；thecriticismsofthegreatNewYorkdailiesarealwaysjust，intelligent，andsquareandhonest——notwithstanding，byablunderwhichnobodywasseriouslytoblamefor，Iwasmadetosayexactlytheoppositeofthisinanewspapersometimeago。Neversaiditatall，andmoreoverIneverthoughtit。IcouldnotpubliclycorrectitbeforetheplayappearedinNewYork，becausethatwouldlookasifIhadreallysaidthatthingandthenwasmovedbyfearsformypocketandmyreputationtotakeitback。ButIcancorrectitnow，andshalldoit； fornowmymotivescannotbeimpugned。WhenIbeganthisletter，ithadnotoccurredtometouseyouinthisconnection，butitoccurstomenow。Youropinionandmine，utteredayearago，andrepeatedmorethanoncesince，thatthecandorandabilityoftheNewYorkcriticswerebeyondquestion，isamatterwhichmakesitproperenoughthatIshouldspeakthroughyouatthistime。Thereforeifyouwillprintthisparagraphsomewhere，itmayremovetheimpressionthatIsayunjustthingswhichIdonotthink，merelyforthepleasureoftalking。 There，now，Can”tyousay—— “InalettertoMr。HowellsoftheAtlanticMonthly，MarkTwaindescribesthereceptionofthenewcomedy”AliSin”andthengoesontosay：“etc。 Beginningatthestarwiththewords，“Thecriticismswerejust。”Mrs。 Clemenssays，“Don”taskthatofMr。Howells——itwillbedisagreeabletohim。”Ihadn”tthoughtofit，butIwillbettwotooneonthecorrectnessofherinstinct。Weshallsee。 Willyoucutthatparagraphoutofthisletterandprecedeitwiththeremarkssuggested(orwithbetterones，)andsendittotheGlobeorsomeotherpaper？Youcan”tdomeabiggerfavor；andyetifitisintheleastdisagreeable，youmustn”tthinkofit。Butletmeknow，rightaway，forIwanttocorrectthisthingbeforeitgrowsstaleagain。 Iexplainedmyselftoonlyonecritic(theWorld)——theconsequencewasanoblenoticeoftheplay。Thisonecalledonme，elseIshouldn”thaveexplainedmyselftohim。 IhavebeenputtinginadealofhardworkonthatplayinNewYork，butitisfullofincurabledefects。 MyoldPlunkettfamilyseemedwonderfullycoarseandvulgaronthestage，butitwasbecausetheywereplayedinsuchanoutrageouslyandinexcusablycoarseway。TheChinamaniskillinglyfunny。Idon”tknowwhenIhaveenjoyedanythingasmuchasIdidhim。Thepeoplesaythereisn”tenoughofhiminthepiece。That”satriumph——there”llneverbeanymoreofhiminit。 JohnBroughamsaid，“Readthelistofthingswhichthecriticshavecondemnedinthepiece，andyouhaveunassailableproofsthattheplaycontainsalltherequirementsofsuccessandalonglife。” Thatistrue。NearlyeverytimetheaudienceroaredIknewitwasoversomethingthatwouldbecondemnedinthemorning(justly，too)butmustbeleftin——forlowcomediesarewrittenforthedrawing-room，thekitchenandthestable，andifyoucutoutthekitchenandthestablethedrawing-roomcan”tsupporttheplaybyitself。 TherewasasmuchmoneyinthehousethefirsttwonightsasinthefirsttenofSellers。Haven”theardfromthethird——Icameaway。 Yrsever，MARK。 InaformerletterwehaveseenhowMarkTwain，workingonastorythatwastostandasanexampleofhisbestwork，andbecomeoneofhissurestclaimstoimmortality(TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn)，displayedlittleenthusiasminhisundertaking。Inthefollowingletter，whichrelatestheconclusionofhisdetectivecomedy，wefindhimattheotherextreme，onverytiptoewithenthusiasmoversomethingwhollywithoutliteraryvalueordramaticpossibility。Oneofthehall-marksofgeniusistheinabilitytodiscriminateastothevalueofitsoutput。“SimonWheeler，AmateurDetective“wasadreary，absurd，impossibleperformance，aswildandunconvincinginincidentanddialogueasanythingoutofanasylumcouldwellbe。Thetitlewhichhefirstchoseforit，“Balaam”sAss，“wasproperlyinkeepingwiththegeneralscheme。YetMarkTwain，stillwarmwiththecreativefever，hadthefullestfaithinitasaworkofartandawinneroffortune。Itwouldneverseethelightofproduction，ofcourse。Weshallseepresentlythatthedistinguishedplaywright，DionBoucicault，good-naturedlycomplimenteditasbeingbetterthan“AhiSin。”Onemustwonderwhatthatskilledartistreallythought，andhowhecoulddoeventhisviolencetohisconscience。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： ELMIRA，WednesdayP。M。(1877) MYDEARHOWELLS，——It”sfinished。Iwasmisledbyhurriedmis-paging。 Thereweretenpagesofnotes，andover300pagesofMSwhentheplaywasdone。Diditin42hours，bytheclock；40pagesoftheAtlantic——butthenofcourseit”svery“fat。”Thosearethefigures，butIdon”tbelievethemmyself，becausethething”simpossible。 Butletthatpass。Alldaylong，andeveryday，sinceIfinished(intherough)Ihavebeendiligentlyaltering，amending，re-writing，cuttingdown。Ifinishedfinallytoday。Can”tthinkofanythingelseinthewayofanimprovement。IthoughtIwouldsticktoitwhiletheinterestwashot——andIammightygladIdid。Aweekfromnowitwillbefrozen——thenrevisingwouldbedrudgery。(YouseeIlearnedsomethingfromthefatalblunderofputting“AhSin“asidebeforeitwasfinished。) She”sallright，now。Shereadsintwohoursand20minutesandwillplaynotlongerthan23/4hours。Nineteencharacters；3acts；(I bunched2into1。) TomorrowIwilldrawupanexhaustivesynopsistoinsertintheprintedtitle-pageforcopyrighting，andthenonFridayorSaturdayIgotoNewYorktoremainaweekortendaysandlayforanactor。Wishyoucouldrundownthereandhaveaholiday。”Twouldbefun。 Mywifewon”thave“Balaam”sAss“；thereforeIcallthepiece“Cap”nSimonWheeler，TheAmateurDetective。” YrsMARK。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： ELMIRA，Aug。29，1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Justgotyourletterlastnight。No，dernthatarticle，——[OneoftheBermudachapters。]——itmademecrywhenIreaditinproof，itwassooppressivelyandostentatiouslypoor。SkimyoureyeoveritagainandyouwillthinkasIdo。IfIsaacandtheprophetsofBaalcanbedoctoredgentlyandmadepermissible，itwillredeemthething：butifitcan”t，let”sburnallofthearticlesexceptthetail- endofitandusethatasanintroductiontothenextarticle——asI suggestedinmylettertoyouofdaybeforeyesterday。(IhadthisprooffromCambridgebeforeyourscame。) Boucicaultsaysmynewplayiseversomuchbetterthan“AhSin；“saystheAmateurdetectiveisabullycharacter，too。AnactorischawingovertheplayinNewYork，toseeiftheoldDetectiveissuitedtohisabilities。Haven”theardfromhimyet。 Ifyou”vegotthatparagraphbyyouyet，andifinyourjudgmentitwouldbegoodtopublishit，andifyouabsolutelywouldnotminddoingit，thenIthinkI”dliketohaveyoudoit——orelseputsomeotherwordsinmymouththatwillbeproperer，andpublishthem。Butmind，don”tthinkofitforamomentifitisdistasteful——anddoubtlessitis。Ivalueyourjudgmentmorethanmyown，astothewisdomofsayinganythingatallinthismatter。Tosaynothingleavesmeinaninjuriousposition—— andyetmaybeImightdobettertospeaktothementhemselveswhenIgotoNewYork。Thiswasmylatestidea，anditlookedwise。 WeexpecttoleavehereforhomeSept。4，reachingtherethe8th——butwemaybedelayedaweek。 Curiousthing。Ireadpassagesfrommyplay，andafullsynopsis，toBoucicault，whowasre-writingaplay，whichhewroteandlaidaside3or4yearsago。(Mydetectiveisaboutthatage，youknow。)Thenhereadapassagefromhisplay，wherearealdetectivedoessomethingsthatareasidioticassomeofmyoldWheeler”sperformances。Showedmethepassages，andbehold，hisman”snameisWheeler！However，hisWheelerisnotaprominentcharacter，sowe”llnotalterthenames。MyWheeler”snameistakenfromtheoldjumpingFrogsketch。 Iamre-readingTicknor”sdiary，andamcharmedwithit，thoughIstillsayhereferstotoomanygoodthingswhenhecouldjustaswellhavetoldthem。Thinkofthemantraveling8daysinconvoyandfamiliarintercoursewithabandofoutlawsthroughthemountainfastnessesofSpain——hethefourthstrangertheyhadencounteredinthirtyyears——andcompressingthispricelessexperienceintoasinglecolorlessparagraphofhisdiary！Theyspunyarnstothisunworthydevil，too。 Iwroteyouaverylongletteradayortwoago，butSusyCranewantedtomakeacopyofittokeep，soithasnotgoneyet。Itmaygotoday，possibly。 Weuniteinwarmregardstoyouandyours。 Yrsever，MARK。 TheTicknorreferredtoinaformerletterwasProfessorGeorgeTicknor，ofHarvardCollege，ahistory-writerofdistinction。Onthemarginofthe“Diary“MarkTwainoncewrote，“TicknorisaMillet，whomakesallmenfallinlovewithhim。”Andadds：“Milletwasthecauseoflovablequalitiesinpeople，andthenheadmiredandlovedthosepersonsfortheveryqualitieswhichhe(withoutknowingit)hadcreatedinthem。Perhapsitwouldbestrictlytruerofthesetwomentosaythattheyborewithinthemthedivinesomethinginwhosepresencetheevilinpeoplefledawayandhiditself，whileallthatwasgoodinthemcamespontaneouslyforwardoutoftheforgottenwallsandcomersintheirsystemswhereitwasaccustomedtohide。” ItisFrankMillet，theartist，heisspeakingof——aknightlysoulwhomalltheClemenshouseholdloved，andwhowouldonedaymeethisknightlyendwiththoseotherbravementhatfounddeathtogetherwhentheTitanicwentdown。 TheClemensfamilywasstillatQuarryFarmattheendofAugust，andoneafternoonthereoccurredastartlingincidentwhichMarkTwainthoughtworthsettingdowninpracticallyduplicateletterstoHowellsandtoDr。JohnBrown。ItmaybeofinteresttothereadertoknowthatJohnT。Lewis，thecoloredmanmentioned，livedtoagoodoldage——apensioneroftheClemensfamilyand，inthecourseoftime，ofH。H。Rogers。Howells”sletterfollows。Itisthe“verylongletter“referredtointheforegoing。 ToW。D。Howellsandwife，inBoston： ELMIRA，Aug。25”77。 MYDEARHOWELLSES，——IthoughtIoughttomakeasortofrecordofitforfurtherreference；thepleasantestwaytodothatwouldbetowriteittosomebody；butthatsomebodywouldletitleakintoprintandthatwewishtoavoid。TheHowellseswouldbesafe——soletustelltheHowellsesaboutit。 Daybeforeyesterdaywasafinesummerdayawayuphereonthesummit。 AuntMarshandCousinMayMarshwereherevisitingSusieCraneandLivyatourfarmhouse。ByandbymotherLangdoncameupthehillinthe“highcarriage“withNorathenurseandlittleJervis(CharleyLangdon”slittleboy)——Timothythecoachmandriving。BehindthesecameCharley”swifeandlittlegirlinthebuggy，withthenew，young，spry，grayhorse——ahigh- stepper。TheodoreCranearrivedalittlelater。 TheBayandSusywereonhandwiththeirnurse，Rosa。Iwasonhand，too。SusyCrane”strioofcoloredservantsditto——thesebeingJosie，house-maid；AuntyCord，cook，aged62，turbaned，verytall，verybroad，veryfineeveryway(seeherportraitin“ATrueStoryjustasIHeardIt“inmySketches；)Chocklate(thelaundress)(astheBaycallsher——shecan”tsayCharlotte，)stilltaller，stillmoremajesticofproportions，turbaned，veryblack，straightasanIndian——age24。Thentherewasthefarmer”swife(colored)andherlittlegirl，Susy。 Wasn”titagoodaudiencetogetupanexcitementbefore？Goodexcitable，inflammablematerial？ Lewiswasstilldowntown，threemilesaway，withhistwo-horsewagon，togetaloadofmanure。Lewisisthefarmer(colored)。Heisofmightyframeandmuscle，stocky，stooping，ungainly，hasagoodmanlyfaceandacleareye。Ageabout45——andthemostpicturesqueofmen，whenhesitsinhisflutteringwork-dayrags，humpedforwardintoabunch，withhisagedslouchhatmasheddownoverhisearsandneck。Itisaspectacletomakethebroken-heartedsmile。Lewishasworkedmightyhardandremainedmightypoor。Attheendofeachwholeyear”stoilhecan”tshowagainoffiftydollars。HehadborrowedmoneyoftheCranestillheowedthem$700andhebeingconscientiousandhonest，imaginewhatitwastohimtohavetocarrythisstubborn，helplessloadyearinandyearout。 Well，sunsetcame，andIdatheyoungandcomely(CharleyLangdon”swife) andherlittleJuliaandthenurseNora，droveoutatthegatebehindthenewgrayhorseandstarteddownthelonghill——thehighcarriagereceivingitsloadundertheportecochere。Idawasseentoturnherfacetowardusacrossthefenceandinterveninglawn——Theodorewavedgood-byetoher，forhedidnotknowthathersignwasaspeechlessappealforhelp。 ThenextmomentLivysaid，“Ida”sdrivingtoofastdownhill！“Shefolloweditwithasortofscream，“Herhorseisrunningaway！“ Wecouldseetwohundredyardsdownthatdescent。Thebuggyseemedtofly。Itwouldstrikeobstructionsandapparentlyspringtheheightofamanfromtheground。 TheodoreandIlefttheshriekingcrowdbehindandrandownthehillbare-headedandshouting。Aneighborappearedathisgate——atenthofasecondtoolate！thebuggyvanishedpasthimlikeathought。Mylastglimpseshoweditforoneinstant，fardownthedescent，springinghighintheairoutofacloudofdust，andthenitdisappeared。AsIflewdowntheroadmyimpulsewastoshutmyeyesasIturnedthemtotherightorleft，andsodelayforamomenttheghastlyspectacleofmutilationanddeathIwasexpecting。 Iranonandon，stillsparedthisspectacle，butsayingtomyself： “Ishallseeitattheturnoftheroad；theynevercanpassthatturnalive。”WhenIcameinsightofthatturnIsawtwowagonstherebunchedtogether——oneofthemfullofpeople。Isaid，“Justso——theyarestaringpetrifiedattheremains。” ButwhenIgotamongstthatbunch，theresatIdainherbuggyandnobodyhurt，noteventhehorseorthevehicle。Idawaspalebutserene。AsI cametearingdown，shesmiledbackoverhershoulderatmeandsaid，“Well，we”realiveyet，aren”twe？“Amiraclehadbeenperformed—— nothingelse。 YouseeLewis，theprodigious，humpeduponhisfrontseat，hadbeentoilingup，onhisloadofmanure；hesawthefrantichorseplungingdownthehilltowardhim，onafullgallop，throwinghisheelsashighasaman”sheadateveryjump。SoLewisturnedhisteamdiagonallyacrosstheroadjustatthe“turn，“thusmakingaVwiththefence——therunninghorsecouldnotescapethat，butmustenterit。ThenLewissprangtothegroundandstoodinthisV。Hegatheredhisvaststrength，andwithaperfectCreedmooraimheseizedthegrayhorse”sbitasheplungedbyandfetchedhimupstanding！ Itwasdownhill，mindyou。TenfeetfurtherdownhillneitherLewisnoranyothermancouldhavesavedthem，fortheywouldhavebeenontheabrupt“turn，“then。Buthowthismiraclewaseveraccomplishedatall，byhumanstrength，generalshipandaccuracy，iscleanbeyondmycomprehension——andgrowsmoresothemoreIgoandexaminethegroundandtrytobelieveitwasactuallydone。Iknowonething，well；ifLewishadmissedhisaimhewouldhavebeenkilledonthespotinthetraphehadmadeforhimself，andweshouldhavefoundtherestoftheremainsawaydownatthebottomofthesteepravine。 TenminuteslaterTheodoreandIarrivedoppositethehouse，withtheservantsstragglingafterus，andshoutedtothedistractedgroupontheporch，“Everybodysafe！“ Believeit？Whyhowcouldthey？Theyknewtheroadperfectly。WemightaswellhavesaidittopeoplewhohadseentheirfriendsgooverNiagara。 However，weconvincedthem；andthen，insteadofsayingsomething，orgoingoncrying，theygrewverystill——wordscouldnotexpressit，I suppose。 Nobodycoulddoanythingthatnight，orsleep，either；buttherewasadealofmovingtalk，withlongpausesbetweenpicturesofthatflyingcarriage，thesepausesrepresented——thispictureintrudeditselfallthetimeanddisjointedthetalk。 Butyesterdayeveninglate，whenLewisarrivedfromdowntownhefoundhissupperspread，andsomepresentsofbooksthere，withverycomplimentarywritingsonthefly-leaves，andcertainverycomplimentaryletters，andmoreorlessgreenbacksofdignifieddenominationpinnedtotheselettersandfly-leaves，——andonesaid，amongotherthings，(signedbytheCranes)“Wecancel$400ofyourindebtednesstous，“&c。&c。 (Theendthereofisnotyet，ofcourse，forCharleyLangdonisWestandwillarriveignorantofallthesethings，today。) Thesupper-roomhadbeenkeptlockedandimposinglysecretandmysteriousuntilLewisshouldarrive；butaroundthatpartofthehouseweregatheredLewis”swifeandchild，Chocklate，Josie，AuntyCordandourRosa，canvassingthingsandwaitingimpatiently。Theywereallonhandwhenthecurtainrose。 Now，AuntyCordisaviolentMethodistandLewisanimplacableDunker—— Baptist。Thosetwoareinveteratereligiousdisputants。TherevealmentshavingbeenmadeAuntyCordsaidwitheffusion—— “Now，letfolksgoonsayingthereain”tnoGod！Lewis，theLordsentyoutheretostopthathorse。” SaysLewis： “Thenwhosentthehorsethereinsichashape？“ ButIwanttocallyourattentiontoonething。WhenLewisarrivedtheotherevening，aftersavingthoselivesbyafeatwhichIthinkisthemostmarvelousofanyIcancalltomind——whenhearrived，huncheduponhismanurewagonandasgrotesquelypicturesqueasusual，everybodywantedtogoandseehowhelooked。Theycamebackandsaidhewasbeautiful。Itwasso，too——andyethewouldhavephotographedexactlyashewouldhavedoneanydaythesepast7yearsthathehasoccupiedthisfarm。 Aug。27。 P。S。Ourlittleromanceinreallifeishappilyandsatisfactorilycompleted。Charleyhascome，listened，acted——andnowJohnT。Lewishasceasedtoconsiderhimselfasbelongingtothatclasscalled“thepoor。” Ithasbeenknown，duringsomeyears，thatitwasLewis”spurposetobuyathirtydollarsilverwatchsomeday，ifheevergotwherehecouldaffordit。TodayIdahasgivenhimanew，sumptuousgoldSwissstem- windingstop-watch；andifanyscoffershallsay，“Beholdthisthingisoutofcharacter，“thereisaninscriptionwithin，whichwillsilencehim；foritwillteachhimthatthisweareraggrandizesthewatch，notthewatchthewearer。 Iwasaskedbeforehand，ifthiswouldbeawisegift，andIsaid“Yes，theverywisestofall；Iknowthecoloredrace，andIknowthatinLewis”seyesthisfinetoywillthrowtheothermorevaluabletestimonialsfarawayintotheshade。IfhelivedinEnglandtheHumaneSocietywouldgivehimagoldmedalascostlyasthiswatch，andnobodywouldsay：“Itisoutofcharacter。”IfLewischosetowearatownclock，whowouldbecomeitbetter？ Lewishassoundcommonsense，andisnotgoingtobespoiled。Theinstanthefoundhimselfpossessedofmoney，heforgothimselfinaplantomakehisoldfathercomfortable，whoiswretchedlypoorandlivesdowninMaryland。Hisnextact，onthespot，wastheproffertotheCranesofthe$300ofhisremainingindebtednesstothem。Thiswasputoffbythemtotheindefinitefuture，forheisnotgoingtobeallowedtopaythatatall，thoughhedoesn”tknowit。 AletterofacknowledgmentfromLewiscontainsasentencewhichraisesittothedignityofliterature： “ButIbegtosay，humbly，thatinasmuchasdivineprovidencesawfittousemeasainstrumentforthesavingofthosepresshiouslives，thehonnerconferduponmewasgreaterthanthefeatperformed。” Thatiswellsaid。 YrseverMARK。 Howellswasmovedtousethestoryinthe。“Contributors”Club，“ andwarnedClemensagainstlettingitgetintothenewspapers。Hedeclaredhethoughtitoneofthemostimpressivethingshehadeverread。ButClemensseemsnevertohaveallowedittobeusedinanyform。Initsentirety，therefore，itisquitenewmatter。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： HARTFORD，Sept。19，1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Idon”treallyseehowthestoryoftherunawayhorsecouldreadwellwiththelittledetailsofnamesandplacesandthingsleftout。Theyarethetruelifeofallnarrative。Itwouldn”tquitedotoprintthematthistime。We”lltalkaboutitwhenyoucome。 Delicacy——asad，sadfalsedelicacy——robsliteratureofthebesttwothingsamongitsbelongings。Family-circlenarrativeandobscenestories。Butnomatter；inthatbetterworldwhichItrustweareallgoingtoIhavethehopeandbeliefthattheywillnotbedeniedus。 Say——TwichellandIhadanadventureatsea，4monthsago，whichIdidnotputinmyBermudaarticles，becausetherewasnotenoughtoit。Butthepressdispatchesbringthesequeltoday，andnowthere”splentytoit。Asailless，wasteless，chartless，compassless，grublessoldcondemnedtubthathasbeendriftinghelplessabouttheoceanfor4 monthsandahalf，beggingbreadandwaterlikeanyothertramp，flyingasignalofdistresspermanently，andwith13innocent，marvelingchuckleheadedBermudaniggersonboard，takingaPleasureExcursion！Ourshipfedthepoordevilsonthe25thoflastMay，faroutatseaandleftthemtobullyragtheirwaytoNewYork——andnowtheyain”tasnearNewYorkastheywerethenby250miles！Theyhavedrifted750milesandarestilldriftingintherelentlessGulfStream！Whatadeliciousmagazinechapteritwouldmake——butIhadtodenymyself。Ihadtocomerightoutinthepapersatonce，withmydetails，soastotrytoraisethegovernment”ssympathysufficientlytohavebettersuccorsentthemthanthecutterColfax，whichwentalittlewayinsearchofthemtheotherdayandthenstruckafogandgaveitup。 IfthePresidentwereinWashingtonIwouldtelegraphhim。 WhenIhearthatthe“JonasSmith“hasbeenfoundagain，Imeantosendforoneofthosedarkies，tocometoHartfordandgivemehisadventuresforanAtlanticarticle。 Likelyyouwillseemytoday”sarticleinthenewspapers。 Yrsever，MARK。 TherevenuecutterColfaxwentaftertheJonasSmith，thinkingtherewasmutinyorothercrimeonboard。Itoccurstomenowthat，sincethereisonlymeresufferingandmiseryandnobodytopunish，itceasestobeamatterwhich(arepublicanformof)governmentwillfeelauthorizedtointerfereinfurther。Damarepublicanformofgovernment。 Clemensthoughthehadgivenuplecturingforgood；hewasprosperousandhehadnolovefortheplatform。Butonedayanideapoppedintohishead：ThomasNast，the“fatheroftheAmericancartoon，“haddeliveredasuccessfulseriesofillustratedlectures- talksforwhichhemadethedrawingsashewentalong。MarkTwain”sideawastomakeacombinationwithNast。Hislettergivesustheplaninfull。 ToThomasNast，Morristown，N。J。： HARTFORD，CONN。1877。 MYDEARNAST，——IdidnotthinkIshouldeverstandonaplatformagainuntilthetimewascomeformetosay“Idieinnocent。”Butthesameoldofferskeeparriving。Ihavedeclinedthemall，justasusual，thoughsorelytempted，asusual。 Now，IdonotdeclinebecauseImindtalkingtoanaudience，butbecause(1)travelingaloneissoheartbreakinglydreary，and(2)shoulderingthewholeshowissuchacheer-killingresponsibility。 Therefore，Inowproposetoyouwhatyouproposedtomein1867，tenyearsago(whenIwasunknown，)viz。，thatyoustandontheplatformandmakepictures，andIstandbyyouandblackguardtheaudience。Ishouldenormouslyenjoymeanderingaround(tobigtowns——don”twanttogotothelittleones)withyouforcompany。 Myideaisnottofattenthelectureagentsandlyceumsonthespoils，butputalltheducatsreligiouslyintotwoequalpiles，andsaytotheartistandlecturer，“Absorbthese。” Forinstance——[Herefollowsaplanandapossiblelistofcitiestobevisited。Thelettercontinues] Callthegrossreceipts$100，000forfourmonthsandahalf，andtheprofitfrom$60，000to$75，000(Itrytomakethefigureslargeenough，andleaveittothepublictoreducethem。) IdidnotputinPhiladelphiabecausePughownsthattown，andlastwinterwhenImadealittlereading-tripheonlypaidme$300andpretendedhisconcert(Ireadfifteenminutesinthemidstofaconcert) costhimavastsum，andsohecouldn”taffordanymore。Icouldgetupabetterconcertwithabarrelofcats。 Ihaveimaginedtwoorthreepicturesandconcoctedtheaccompanyingremarkstoseehowthethingwouldgo。Iwascharmed。 Well，youthinkitover，Nast，anddropmealine。Weshouldhavesomefun。 Yourstruly，SAMUELL。CLEMENS。 Theplancametonothing。Nast，likeClemens，hadnospecialtasteforplatforming，andwhileundoubtedlytherewouldhavebeenlargeprofitsinthecombination，thepromiseoftheventuredidnotcompelhisacceptance。 InspiteofhisdistastefortheplatformMarkTwainwasalwaysgivingreadingsandlectures，withoutcharge，forsomeworthyHartfordcause。Hewasreadytodowhathecouldtohelpanentertainmentalong，ifhecoulddoitinhisownway——anoriginalway，sometimes，andnotalwaysgratifyingtothecommittee，whoseplanswerelikelytobeprearranged。 Foronething，Clemens，supersensitiveinthematterofputtinghimselfforwardinhisowntown，oftenobjectedtoanyspecialexploitationofhisname。Thisalwaysdistressedthecommittee，whosawalargeprofittotheirventureintheprestigeofhisfame。 Thefollowingcharacteristicletterwaswritteninself-defensewhen，ononesuchoccasion，acommitteehadbecomesufficientlypeevishtoabandonaworthyenterprise。 ToanEntertainmentCommittee，inHartford： Nov。9。 E。S。SYKES，Esq： Dr。SIR，——Mr。Burton”snoteputsuponmealltheblameofthedestructionofanenterprisewhichhadforitsobjectthesuccoroftheHartfordpoor。Thatistosay，thisenterprisehasbeendroppedbecauseofthe“dissatisfactionwithMr。Clemens”sstipulations。”ThereforeImustbeallowedtosayawordinmydefense。 Thereweretwo“stipulations“——exactlytwo。Imadeoneofthem；iftheotherwasmadeatall，itwasajointone，fromthechoirandme。 Myindividualstipulationwas，thatmynameshouldbekeptoutofthenewspapers。Thejointonewasthatsufficientticketstoinsureagoodsumshouldbesoldbeforethedateoftheperformanceshouldbeset。 (Understand，wewantedagoodsum——Idonotthinkanyofusbotheredaboutagoodhouse；itwasmoneywewereafter) Nowyouperceivethatmyconcernissimplywithmyindividualstipulation。Didthatbreakuptheenterprise？ EugeneBurtonsaidhewouldsell$300worthoftheticketshimself——Mr。 Smithsaidhewouldsell$200or$300worthhimself。MyplanforAsylumHillChurchwouldhaveensured$150fromthatquarter——Allthisinthefaceofmy“Stipulation。”Itwasproposedtoraise$1000；didmystipulationrendertheraisingof$400or$500inadozenchurchesimpossible？ Mystipulationiseasilydefensible。Whenamerereaderorlecturerhasappeared3or4timesinatownofHartford”ssize，heisagooddealmorethanlikelytogetaveryunpleasantsnubifheshoveshimselfforwardaboutonceortwicemore。ThereforeIlongagomadeupmymindthatwheneverIagainappearedhere，itshouldbeonlyinaminorcapacityandnotasachiefattraction。 Now，Iplacedthatharmlessandveryjustifiablestipulationbeforethecommitteetheotherday；theycarriedittoheadquartersanditwasacceptedthere。Iamnotinformedthatanyobjectionwasmadetoit，orthatitwasregardedasanoffense。Itseemslateintheday，now，afteragooddealoftroublehasbeentakenandagooddealofthanklessworkdonebythecommittees，to，suddenlytearupthecontractandthenturnandbowlmedownfromlongrangeasbeingthedestroyerofit。 Iftheenterprisehasfailedbecauseofmyindividualstipulation，hereyouhavemyproperandreasonablereasonsformakingthatstipulation。 Ifithasfailedbecauseofthejointstipulation，puttheblamethere，andletusshareitcollectively。 Ithinkourplanwasagoodone。IdonotdoubtthatMr。Burtonstillapprovesofit，too。Ibelievetheobjectionscomefromotherquarters，andnotfromhim。Mr。TwichellusedthefollowingwordsinlastSunday”ssermon，(ifIremembercorrectly)： “Myhearers，theprophetDeuteronomysaysthiswisething：”Thoughyeplanagoodlyhouseforthepoor，andplanitwithwisdom，anddotakeoffyourcoatsandsettotobuildit，withhighcourage，yetshallthecroakerpresentlycome，andliftuphisvoice，(havinghiscoaton，)andsay，Verilythisplanisnotwellplanned——andhewillgohisway；andtheobstructionistwillcome，andliftuphisvoice，(havinghiscoaton，)andsay，Behold，thisisbutasickplan——andhewillgohisway； andthemanthatknowsitallwillcome，andliftuphisvoice，(havinghiscoaton，)andsay，Lo，calltheythisaplan？thenwillhegohisway；andtheplaceswhichknewhimonceshallknowhimnomoreforever，becausehewasnot，forGodtookhim。NowthereforeIsayuntoyou，Verilythathousewillnotbebudded。AndIsaythisalso：Hethatwaitethforallmentobesatisfiedwithhisplan，lethimseeketernallife，forheshallneedit。”“ ThisportionofMr。Twichell”ssermonmadeagreatimpressionuponme，andIwasgrievedthatsomeonehadnotwakenedmeearliersothatI mighthaveheardwhatwentbefore。 S。L。CLEMENS。 Mr。Sykes(ofthefirmofSykes&Newton，theAllenHousePharmacy) repliedthathehadreadthelettertothecommitteeandthatithadsetthosegentlemenrightwhohadnotbeforeunderstoodthesituation。“Ifotherswereasreadytodotheirpartasyourselfourpoorwouldnotwantassistance，“hesaid，inclosing。 Wecomenowtoanincidentwhichassumestheproportionsofanepisode-evenofacatastrophe——inMarkTwain”scareer。Thedisasterwasduetoaconditionnotedafewpagesearlier——theinabilityofgeniustojudgeitsownefforts。Thestoryhasnowbecomehistory—— printedhistory——ithavingbeensympatheticallytoldbyHowellsinMyMarkTwain，andmoreexhaustively，withareportofthespeechthatinvitedthelightning，inaformerworkbythepresentwriter。 ThespeechwasmadeatJohnGreenleafWhittier”sseventiethbirthdaydinner，givenbytheAtlanticstaffontheeveningofDecember17，1877。Itwasintendedasahugejoke——ajokethatwouldshakethesidesofthesevenerableBostondeities，Longfellow，Emerson，Holmes，andtherestofthatveneratedgroup。ClemenshadbeenafavoriteattheAtlanticlunchesanddinners——aspeechbyhimalwaysanevent。Thistimehedecidedtooutdohimself。 Hedidthat，butnotinthewayhehadintended。Touseoneofhisownmetaphors，hesteppedouttomeettherainbowandgotstruckbylightning。HisjokewasnotoftheBostonkindorsize。Whenitsfullnatureburstuponthecompany——whentheearsoftheassembleddinersheardthesacrednamesofLongfellow，Emerson，andHolmeslightlyassociatedwithhumanaspectsremoved——oh，veryfarremoved——fromCambridgeandConcord，achillfelluponthedinersthatpresentlybecameamazement，andthencreepingparalysis。Nobodyknewafterwardwhetherthegreatspeechthathehadsogailyplannedevercametoanaturalendornot。Somebody——thenextontheprogram——attemptedtofollowhim，butpresentlythecompanymeltedoutofthedoorsandcreptawayintothenight。 ItseemedtoMarkTwainthathiscareerhadcometoanend。BackinHartford，sweatingandsufferingthroughsleeplessnights，hewroteHowellshisanguish。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： SundayNight。1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Mysenseofdisgracedoesnotabate。Itgrows。Iseethatitisgoingtoadditselftomylistofpermanencies——alistofhumiliationsthatextendsbacktowhenIwassevenyearsold，andwhichkeeponpersecutingmeregardlessofmyrepentancies。 Ifeelthatmymisfortunehasinjuredmealloverthecountry；thereforeitwillbebestthatIretirefrombeforethepublicatpresent。ItwillhurttheAtlanticformetoappearinitspages，now。Soitismyopinionandmywife”sthatthetelephonestoryhadbetterbesuppressed。 Willyoureturnthoseproofsorrevisestome，sothatIcanusethesameonsomefutureoccasion？ ItseemsasifImusthavebeeninsanewhenIwrotethatspeechandsawnoharminit，nodisrespecttowardthosemenwhomIreverencedsomuch。 AndwhatshameIbroughtuponyou，afterwhatyousaidinintroducingme！ Itburnsmelikefiretothinkofit。 Thewholematterisadreadfulsubject——letmedropithere——atleastonpaper。 Penitentlyyrs，MARK。 Howellssentbackacomfortingletter。“IhavenoideaofdroppingyououtoftheAtlantic，“hewrote；“andMr。Houghtonhasstillless，ifpossible。Youaregoingtohelpandnothurtusmanyayearyet，ifyouwill……Youarenotgoingtobeflooredbyit； thereismorejusticethanthat，eveninthisworld。” HowellsaddedthatCharlesElliotNortonhadexpressedjusttherightfeelingconcerningthewholeaffair，andthatmanywhohadnotheardthespeech，butreadthenewspaperreportsofit，hadfounditwithoutoffense。 ClemenswrotecontriteletterstoHolmes，Emerson，andLongfellow，andreceivedmostgraciousacknowledgments。Emerson，indeed，hadnotheardthespeech：Hisfacultieswerealreadyblurredbythementalmiststhatwouldeventuallyshuthimin。ClemenswroteagaintoHowells，thistimewithlessanguish。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： HARTFORD，Friday，1877。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Yourletterwasagodsend；andperhapsthewelcomestpartofitwasyourconsentthatIwritetothosegentlemen；foryoudiscouragedmyhintsinthatdirectionthatmorninginBoston——rightly，too，formyoffensewasyettoonew，then。Warnerhastriedtoholdupourhandslikethegoodfellowheis，butpoorTwichellcouldnotsayaword，andconfessedthathewouldrathertakenearlyanypunishmentthanfaceLivyandme。Hehasn”tbeenheresince。 Itiscurious，butIpitchedearlyuponMr。Nortonastheverymanwhowouldthinksomegenerousthingaboutthatmatter，whetherhesaiditornot。Itissplendidtobeamanlikethat——butitisgiventofewtobe。 Iwrotealetteryesterday，andsentacopytoeachofthethree。I wantedtosendacopytoMr。Whittieralso，sincetheoffensewasdonealsoagainsthim，beingcommittedinhispresenceandhetheguestoftheoccasion，besidesholdingthewell-nighsacredplacehedoesinhispeople”sestimation；butIdidn”tknowwhethertoventureornot，andsoendedbydoingnothing。Itseemedanintrusiontoapproachhim，andevenLivyseemedtohaveherdoubtsastothebestandproperestwaytodointhecase。IdonotreverenceMr。Emersonless，butsomehowIcouldapproachhimeasier。 Sendmethoseproofs，ifyouhavegotthemhandy；IwanttosubmitthemtoWylie；hewon”tshowthemtoanybody。 HadaverypleasantandconsiderateletterfromMr。Houghton，today，andwasverygladtoreceiveit。 Youcan”timaginehowbrilliantandbeautifulthatnewbrassfenderis，andhowperfectlynaturallyittakesitsplaceunderthecarvedoak。Howtheydidscouritupbeforetheysentit！IliedagooddealaboutitwhenIcamehome——soforonceIkeptasecretandsurprisedLivyonaChristmasmorning！ Ihaven”tdoneastrokeofworksincetheAtlanticdinner；haveonlymopedaround。ButI”mgoingtotrytomorrow。HowcouldIeverhave。 Ah，well，Iamagreatandsublimefool。ButthenIamGod”sfool，andallHisworksmustbecontemplatedwithrespect。 LivyandIjoininthewarmestregardstoyouandyours，Yrsever，MARK。 Longfellow，inhisreply，said：“Idonotbelieveanybodywasmuchhurt。 CertainlyIwasnot，andHolmestellsmehewasnot。SoIthinkyoumaydismissthematterfromyourmindwithoutfurtherremorse。” Holmeswrote：“Itneveroccurredtomeforamomenttotakeoffense，orfeelwoundedbyyourplayfuluseofmyname。” MissEllenEmersonrepliedforherfather(inalettertoMrs。Clemens) thatthespeechhadmadenoimpressionuponhim，givingatconsiderablelengththeimpressionithadmadeonherselfandothermembersofthefamily。 Clearly，itwasnottheprincipalswhowerehurt，butonlythosewhoheldtheminawe，thoughonecanrealizethatthiswouldnotmakeitmucheasierforMarkTwain。 XVIII。 LETTERSFROMEUROPE，1878-79。TRAMPINGWITHTWICHELL。WRITINGANEW TRAVELBOOK。LIFEINMUNICH WhethertheunhappyoccurrenceattheWhittierdinnerhadanythingtodowithMarkTwain”sresolvetospendayearortwoinEuropecannotbeknownnow。Therewereothergoodreasonsforgoing，oneinparticularbeingademandforanotherbookoftravel。Itwasalsotrue，asheexplainsinalettertohismother，thathisdayswerefullofannoyances，makingitdifficultforhimtowork。Hehadatendencytoinvestmoneyinalmostanyglitteringenterprisethatcamealong，andatthistimehewasinvolvedinthepromotionofavarietyofpatentrightsthatbroughthimnoreturnotherthanassessmentandvexation。 Clemens”smotherwasbythistimelivingwithhersonOnionandhiswife，inIowa。 ToMrs。JaneClemens，inKeokuk，Iowa： HARTFORD，Feb。17，1878 MYDEARMOTHER，——IsupposeIamtheworstcorrespondentinthewholeworld；andyetIgrowworseandworseallthetime。Myconscienceblistersmefornotwritingyou，butithasceasedtoabusemefornotwritingotherfolks。 Lifehascometobeaveryseriousmatterwithme。Ihaveabadgered，harassedfeeling，agoodpartofmytime。Itcomesmainlyofbusinessresponsibilitiesandannoyances，andthepersecutionofkindlylettersfromwellmeaningstrangers——towhomImustberudelysilentorelseputinthebiggesthalfofmytimebotheringoveranswers。Thereareotherthingsalsothathelptoconsumemytimeanddefeatmyprojects。Well，theconsequenceis，Icannotwriteabookathome。Thiscutsmyincomedown。Therefore，IhaveaboutmadeupmymindtotakemytribeandflytosomelittlecornerofEuropeandbudgenomoreuntilIshallhavecompletedoneofthehalfdozenbooksthatliebegun，upstairs。Pleasesaynothingaboutthisatpresent。 Weproposetosailthe11thofApril。IshallgotoFredoniatomeetyou，butitwillnotbewellforLivytomakethattripIamafraid。 However，weshallsee。Iwillhopeshecango。 Mr。Twichellhasjustcomein，soImustgotohim。Weareallwell，andsendlovetoyouall。 Affly，SAM。 Hewaswritingfewlettersatthistime，anddoingbutlittlework。 Therewerealwaysmanysocialeventsduringthewinter，andwhatwithhisEuropeanplansandadiligentstudyoftheGermanlanguage，whichtheentirefamilyundertook，hisdaysandeveningswerefullenough。HowellswroteprotestingagainsttheEuropeantravelandberatinghimforhissilence： “IneverwasinBerlinanddon”tknowanyfamilyhotelthere。 IshouldbegladIdidn”t，ifitwouldkeepyoufromgoing。YoudeservetoputupattheSignoftheSavageinVienna。Really，it”sagreatblowtometohearofthatprospectedsojourn。It”sashame。Imustseeyou，somehow，beforeyougo。I”mindreadfullylowspiritsaboutit。 “Iwasafraidyoursilencemeantsomethingwicked。” Clemensrepliedpromptly，urgingavisittoHartford，addingapostscriptforMrs。Howells，characteristicenoughtowarrantpreservation。 P。S。toMrs。Howells，inBoston： Feb。”78。 DEARMRS。HOWELLS。Mrs。Clemenswroteyoualetter，andhandedittomehalfanhourago，whileIwasfoldingminetoMr。Howells。IlaidthatletteronthistablebeforemewhileIaddedtheparagraphaboutR”sapplication。SincethenIhavebeenhuntingandswearing，andswearingandhunting，butIcan”tfindasignofthatletter。ItisthemostastonishingdisappearanceIeverheardof。Mrs。Clemenshasgoneoffdriving——soIwillhavetotryandgiveyouanideaofhercommunicationfrommemory。Mainlyitconsistedofanurgentdesirethatyoucometoseeusnextweek，ifyoucanpossiblymanageit，forthatwillbeareposefultime，theturmoilofbreakingupbeginningtheweekafter。ShewantsyoutotellheraboutItaly，andadviseherinthatconnection，ifyouwill。Thenshespokeofherplans——hers，mindyou，forIneverhaveanythingquitesodefiniteasaplan。Sheproposestostopafortnightin(confoundtheplace，I”veforgottenwhatitwas，)thengoandliveinDresdentillsometimeinthesummer；thenretiretoSwitzerlandforthehottestseason，thenstayawhileinVeniceandputinthewinterinMunich。Thisprogramsubjecttomodificationsaccordingtocircumstances。Shesaidsomethingaboutsomelittleby-tripshereandthere，buttheydidn”tstickinmymemorybecausetheideadidn”tcharmme。 (TheyhavejusttelephonedmefromtheCourantofficethatBayardTaylorandfamilyhavetakenroomsinourship，theHolsatia，forthe11thApril。) Docome，ifyoupossiblycan！——andrememberanddon”tforgettoavoidlettingMrs。ClemensfindoutIlostherletter。Justanswerherthesameasifyouhadgotit。 SincerelyyoursS。L。CLEMENS。 TheHowellsescame，asinvited，forafinalreunionbeforethebreakingup。ThiswasintheearlyhalfofMarch；theClemensesweretosailonthe11thofthefollowingmonth。 OrionClemens，meantime，hadconceivedanewliteraryideaandwaspilinginhisMS。asfastaspossibletogethisbrother”sjudgmentonitbeforethesailing-date。ItwasnotaverygoodtimetosendMS。，butMarkTwainseemstohavereaditandgivenitsomeconsideration。“TheJourneyinHeaven，“ofhisown，whichhementions，wasthestorypublishedsomanyyearslaterunderthetitleof“CaptainStormfield”sVisittoHeaven。”Hehadbeganitin1868，onhisvoyagetoSanFrancisco，ithavingbeensuggestedbyconversationswithCapt。NedWakeman，ofoneofthePacificsteamers。Wakemanalsoappearsin”RoughingIt”Chap。L，asCapt。 NedBlakely，andagaininoneofthe“RamblingNotesofanIdleExcursion，“as“CaptainHurricaneJones。” ToOrionClemens，inKeokuk： HARTFORD，Mch。23，1878。 MYDEARBRO。，——Everymanmustlearnhistrade——notpickitup。Godrequiresthathelearnitbyslowandpainfulprocesses。Theapprentice- hand，inblack-smithing，inmedicine，inliterature，ineverything，isathingthatcan”tbehidden。Italwaysshows。 Buthappilythereisamarketforapprenticework，elsethe“InnocentsAbroad“wouldhavehadnosale。Happily，too，there”sawidermarketforsomesortsofapprenticeliteraturethanthereisfortheverybestofjourney-work。Thisworkofyoursisexceedinglycrude，butIamfreetosayitislesscrudethanIexpectedittobe，andconsiderablybetterworkthanIbelievedyoucoulddo，itistoocrudetooffertoanyprominentperiodical，soIshallspeaktotheN。Y。Weeklypeople。Topublishittherewillbetoburyit。WhycouldnotsamegoodgeniushavesentmetotheN。Y。Weeklywithmyapprenticesketches？ Youshouldnotpublishitinbookformatall——forthisreason：itisonlyanimitationofVerne——itisnotaburlesque。ButIthinkitmayberegardedasproofthatVernecannotbeburlesqued。 InaccompanyingnotesIhavesuggestedthatyouvastlymodifythefirstvisittohell，andleaveoutthesecondvisitaltogether。Nobodywould，oroughttoprintthosethings。Youarenotadvancedenoughinliteraturetoventureuponamatterrequiringsomuchpractice。Letmeshowyouwhatamanhasgottogothrough： NineyearsagoImappedoutmy“JourneyinHeaven。”IdiscusseditwithliteraryfriendswhomIcouldtrusttokeepittothemselves。 Igaveitadealofthought，fromtimetotime。AfterayearormoreI wroteitup。Itwasnotasuccess。FiveyearsagoIwroteitagain，alteringtheplan。ThatMSisatmyelbownow。Itwasaconsiderableimprovementonthefirstattempt，butstillitwouldn”tdo——lastyearandyearbeforeItalkedfrequentlywithHowellsaboutthesubject，andhekepturgingmetodoitagain。 SoIthoughtandthought，atoddmomentsandatlastIstruckwhatI consideredtobetherightplan！MindIhaveneveralteredtheideas，fromthefirst——theplanwasthedifficulty。WhenHowellswasherelast，IlaidbeforehimthewholestorywithoutreferringtomyMSandhesaid： “Youhavegotitsurethistime。Butdroptheideaofmakingmeremagazinestuffofit。Don”twasteit。Printitbyitself——publishitfirstinEngland——askDeanStanleytoendorseit，whichwilldrawsomeoftheteethofthereligiouspress，andthenreprintinAmerica。”IdoubtmyabilitytogetDeanStanleytodoanythingofthesort，butIshalldotherest——andthisisallasecretwhichyoumustnotdivulge。 Nowlookhere——Ihavetried，alltheseyears，tothinkofsomewayof“doing“helltoo——andhavealwayshadtogiveitup。Hell，inmybook，willnotoccupyfivepagesofMSIjudge——itwillbeonlycoverthints，Isuppose，andquicklydropped，Imayendbynotevenreferringtoit。 Andmindyou，inmyopinionyouwillfindthatyoucan”twriteuphellsoitwillstandprinting。NeitherHowellsnorIbelieveinhellorthedivinityoftheSavior，butnomatter，theSaviorisnonethelessasacredPersonage，andamanshouldhavenodesireordispositiontorefertohimlightly，profanely，orotherwisethanwiththeprofoundestreverence。 Theonlysafethingisnottointroducehim，orrefertohimatall，Isuspect。Ihaveentirelyrewrittenonebook3(perhaps4。)times，changingtheplaneverytime——1200pagesofMS。wastedandburned——andshalltackleitagain，oneoftheseyearsandmaybesucceedatlast。 Thereforeyouneednotexpecttogetyourbookrightthefirsttime。 Gotoworkandrevamporrewriteit。Godonlyexhibitshisthunderandlightningatintervals，andsotheyalwayscommandattention。TheseareGod”sadjectives。Youthunderandlightningtoomuch；thereaderceasestogetunderthebed，byandby。 Mr。PerkinswillsendyouandMayourcheckswhenwearegone。Butdon”twritehim，ever，exceptasinglelineincaseheforgetsthechecks——forthemanisdriventodeathwithwork。 Iseeyouarehalfpromisingyourselfamonthlyreturnforyourbook。 Inmyexperience，previouslycountedchickensneverdohatch。HowmanyofmineIhavecounted！andneveraoneofthembutfailed！Itismuchbettertohedgedisappointmentbynotcounting——Unexpectedmoneyisadelight。Thesamesumisabitternesswhenyouexpectedmore。 MytimeinAmericaisgrowingmightyshort。Perhapswecanmanageinthisway：Imprimis，iftheN。Y。Weeklypeopleknowthatyouaremybrother，theywillturnthatfactintoanadvertisement——athingofvaluetothem，butnottoyouandme。Thismustbeprevented。IwillwritethemanotetosayyouhaveafriendnearKeokuk，CharlesS。Miller，whohasaMSforsalewhichyouthinkisaprettyclevertravestyonVerne；andiftheywantittheymightwritetohiminyourcare。Thenifanycorrespondenceensuesbetweenyouandthem，letMolliewriteforyouandsignyourname——yourownhandwritingrepresentingMiller”s。Keepyourselfoutofsighttillyoumakeastrikeonyourownmeritsthereisnootherwaytogetafairverdictuponyourmerits。 Later-I”vewrittenthenotetoSmith，andwithnothinginitwhichhecanuseasanadvertisement。I”mcalled——Goodbye-lovetoyouboth。 WeleaveherenextWednesdayforElmira：weleavethereApl。9or10——andsail11thYrBro。 SAM。 IntheletterthatfollowsthementionofAnnieandSamrefers，ofcourse，tothechildrenofMrs。Moffett，whohadbeen，PamelaClemens。Theyweregrownnow，andAnnieMoffettwasmarriedtoCharlesL。Webster，wholaterwastobecomeMarkTwain”sbusinesspartner。TheMoffettsandWebsterswerelivinginFredoniaatthistime，andClemenshadbeentopaythemagood-byvisit。TheTaylordinnermentionedwasafarewellbanquetgiventoBayardTaylor，whohadbeenappointedMinistertoGermany，andwastosailontheshipwithMarkTwain。MarkTwain”smotherwasvisitinginFredoniawhenthisletterwaswritten。 ToMrs。JaneClemens，inFredonia： Apr。7，”78。 MYDEARMOTHER，——IhavetoldLivyallaboutAnnie”sbeautifulhouse，andaboutSamandCharley，andaboutCharley”singeniousmanufacturesandhisstrongmanhoodandgoodpromise，andhowgladIamthatheandAnniemarried。AndIhavetoldheraboutAnnie”sexcellenthouse-keeping，alsoaboutthegreatBaconconflict；(ItoldyouitwasahundredtoonethatneitherLivynortheEuropeanpowershadheardofthatdesolatingstruggle。) AndIhavetoldherhowbeautifulyouareinyourageandhowbrightyourmindiswithitsold-timebrightness，andhowsheandthechildrenwouldenjoyyou。AndIhavetoldherhowsingularlyyoungPamelaislooking，andwhatafinelargefellowSamis，andhowillthelingeringsyllable“my“tohisnamefitshisportandfigure。 Well，Pamela，afterthinkingitoverforadayorso，Icamenearinquiringaboutastate-roominourshipforSam，topleaseyou，butmywiserformerresolutioncamebacktome。Itisnotforhisgoodthathehavefriendsintheship。HisconductintheBaconbusinessshowsthathewilldeveloprapidlyintoamanlymanassoonasheiscastloosefromyourapronstrings。 Youdon”tteachhimtopushaheadanddoanddarethingsforhimself，butyoudojustthereverse。Youareassistedinyourdamagingworkbythetyrannouswaysofavillage——villagerswatcheachotherandsomakecowardsofeachother。AfterSamshallhavevoyagedtoEuropebyhimself，andrubbedagainsttheworldandtakenandreturneditscuffs，doyouthinkhewillhesitatetoescortaguestintoanywhisky-millinFredoniawhenhehimselfhasnosinfulbusinesstotransactthere？ No，hewillsmileattheidea。Ifheavoidsthiscourtesynowfromprinciple，ofcourseIfindnofaultwithitatall——onlyifhethinksitisprinciplehemaybemistaken；acloseexaminationmayshowitisonlyabowingtothetyrannyofpublicopinion。 Ionlysayitmay——Icannotventuretosayitwill。Hartfordisnotalargeplace，butitisbroaderthantohavewaysofthatsort。Threeorfourweeksago，ataMoodyandSankeymeeting，thepreacherreadaletterfromsomebody“exposing“thefactthataprominentclergymanhadgonefromoneofthosemeetings，boughtabottleoflagerbeeranddrankitonthepremises(adrugstore。) Atempestofindignationsweptthetown。Ourclergymenandeverybodyelsesaidthe“culprit“hadnotonlydoneaninnocentthing，buthaddoneitinanopen，manlyway，anditwasnobody”srightorbusinesstofindfaultwithit。Perhapsthisdangerouslatitudecomesofthefactthatweneverhaveanytemperance“rot“goingoninHartford。 IfindherealetterfromOrion，submittingsomenewmatterinhisstoryforcriticism。Whenyouwritehim，pleasetellhimtodothebesthecanandbangaway。Icandonothingfurtherinthismatter，forIhavebut3 daysleftinwhichtosettleadealofimportantbusinessandanswerabushelandahalfofletters。Iamverynearlytiredtodeath。 Iwassojadedandworn，attheTaylordinner，thatIfoundIcouldnotremember3sentencesofthespeechIhadmemorized，andthereforegotupandsaidsoandexcusedmyselffromspeaking。Iarrivedhereat3 o”clockthismorning。Ithinkthenext3dayswillfinishme。Theideaofsittingdowntoajobofliterarycriticismissimplyludicrous。 AyoungladypassengerinourshiphasbeenplacedunderLivy”scharge。 Livycouldn”teasilygetoutofit，anddidnotwantto，onherownaccount，butfullyexpectedIwouldmaketroublewhenIheardofit。 ButIdidn”t。Agirlcan”twelltravelalone，soIofferednoobjection。 SheleavesusatHamburg。SoI”vegot6peopleinmycare，now——whichisjust6toomanyforamanofmyunexecutivecapacity。Iexpectnothingelsebuttolosesomeofthemoverboard。 Wesendourlovinggood-byestoallthehouseholdandhopetoseeyouagainafteraspell。 AfflyYrs。 SAM。 TherearenootherAmericanlettersofthisperiod。TheClemensparty，whichincludedMissClaraSpaulding，ofElmira，sailedasplanned，ontheHolsatia，April11，1878。Asbeforestated，BayardTaylorwasontheship；alsoMuratHalsteadandfamily。Ontheeveofdeparture，ClemenssenttoHowellsthisfarewellword： “Andthatremindsme，ungratefuldogthatIam，thatIoweasmuchtoyourtrainingastherudecountryjob-printerowestothecitybosswhotakeshiminhandandteacheshimtherightwaytohandlehisart。IwastalkingtoMrs。Clemensaboutthistheotherday，andgrievingbecauseInevermentionedittoyou，therebyseemingtoignoreit，ortobeunawareofit。Nothingthathaspassedunderyoureyeneedsanyrevisionbeforegoingintoavolume，whileallmyotherstuffdoesneedsomuch。” Acharacteristictribute，andfromtheheart。 ThefirstEuropeanlettercamefromFrankfort，arestontheirwaytoHeidelberg。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： FRANKFORTONTHEMAIN，May4，1878。