第12章

ThestoryofHuckFinnwashavingawidesuccess。Websterhandleditskillfully，andthesaleswerelarge。Inalmosteveryquarteritswelcomewasenthusiastic。Hereandthere，however，couldbefoundanexception；Huck”smoralswerenotalwaysapprovedofbylibraryreading-committees。ThefirstinstanceofthiskindwasreportedfromConcord；andwouldseemnottohavedepressedtheauthor-publisher。 ToChas。L。Webster，inNewYork： Mch18，”85。 DEARCHARLEY，——TheCommitteeofthePublicLibraryofConcord，Mass，havegivenusarattlingtip-toppuffwhichwillgointoeverypaperinthecountry。TheyhaveexpelledHuckfromtheirlibraryas“trashandsuitableonlyfortheslums。”Thatwillsell25，000copiesforussure。 S。L。C。 PerhapstheConcordFreeTradeClubhadsomeideaofmakingamendstoMarkTwainfortheslightputuponhisbookbytheirlibrarians，forimmediatelyaftertheHuckFinnincidenttheynotifiedhimofhiselectiontohonorarymembership。 Thosewerethedaysof“authors”readings，“andClemensandHowellsnotinfrequentlyassistedatthesefunctions，usuallygivenasbenefitsofonekindoranother。Fromthenextletter，writtenfollowinganentertainmentgivenfortheLongfellowmemorial，wegatherthatMarkTwain”sopinionofHowells”sreadingwassteadilyimproving。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： HARTFORD，May5，”85。 MYDEARHOWELLS，……Whotaughtyoutoread？Observationandthought，Iguess。AndpracticeattheTavernClub？——yes；andthatwasthebestteachingofall： Well，yousentevenyourdaintiestandmostdelicateandfleetingpointshometothataudience——absoluteproofofgoodreading。Butyoucouldn”treadworthadamnafewyearsago。Idonotsaythistoflatter。ItistrueIlookedaroundforyouwhenIwasleaving，butyouhadalreadygone。 Alas，Osgoodhasfailedatlast。Itwaseasytoseethathewasontheveryvergeofitayearago，anditwasalsoeasytoseethathewasstillonthevergeofitamonthortwoago；butIcontinuedtohope——butnotexpectthathewouldpullthrough。TheLibraryofHumorisathisdwellinghouse，andhewillhandittoyouwheneveryouwantit。 Tosaveitfromanypossibilityofgettingmixedupinthefailure，perhapsyouhadbettersenddownandgetit。Itoldhim，theotherday，thatanorderofanykindfromyouwouldbehissufficientwarrantforitsdeliverytoyou。 IntwodaysGeneralGranthasdictated50pagesoffoolscap，andthustheWildernessandAppomattoxstandforalltimeinhisownwords。Thismakesthesecondvolumeofhisbookasvaluableasthefirst。 Helooksmightywell，theselatterdays。 YrsEverMARK。 “Iamexceedinglyglad，“wroteHowells，“thatyouapproveofmyreading，foritgivesmesomehopethatImaydosomethingontheplatformnextwinter……butIwouldneverreadwithinahundredmilesofyou，ifIcouldhelpit。Yousimplystraddleddowntothefootlightsandtookthathouseupinthehollowofyourhandandtickledit。” ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： ELMIRA，July21，1885。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Youarereallymyonlyauthor；Iamrestrictedtoyou，Iwouldn”tgiveadamnfortherest。 IboredthroughMiddlemarchduringthepastweek，withitslaboredandtediousanalysesoffeelingsandmotives，itspaltryandtiresomepeople，itsunexcitinganduninterestingstory，anditsfrequentblindingflashesofsingle-sentencepoetry，philosophy，wit，andwhatnot，andnearlydiedfromtheoverwork。Iwouldn”treadanotherofthosebooksforafarm。 Ididtrytoreadoneother——DanielDeronda。Idraggedthroughthreechapters，losingfleshallthetime，andthenwashonestenoughtoquit，andconfesstomyselfthatIhaven”tanyromanceliteratureappetite，asfarasIcansee，exceptforyourbooks。 ButwhatIstartedtosay，was，thatIhavejustreadPartIIofIndianSummer，andtomymindthereisn”tawastelineinit，oronethatcouldbeimproved。Ireadityesterday，endingwiththatopinion；andreaditagainto-day，endingwiththesameopinionemphasized。Ihaven”treadPartIyet，becausethatnumbermusthavereachedHartfordafterweleft； butwearegoingtosenddowntownforacopy，andwhenitcomesIamtoreadbothpartsaloudtothefamily。Itisabeautifulstory，andmakesabodylaughallthetime，andcryinside，andfeelsooldandsoforlorn；andgiveshimgraciousglimpsesofhislostyouththatfillhimwithameasurelessregret，andbuildupinhimacloudysenseofhishavingbeenaprince，once，insomeenchantedfar-offland，andofbeinganexilenow，anddesolate——andLord，nochanceevertogetbackthereagain！Thatisthethingthathurts。Well，youhavedoneitwithmarvelousfacilityandyoumakeallthemotivesandfeelingsperfectlyclearwithoutanalyzingthegutsoutofthem，thewayGeorgeEliotdoes。 Ican”tstandGeorgeEliotandHawthorneandthosepeople；Iseewhattheyareatahundredyearsbeforetheygettoitandtheyjusttiremetodeath。Andasfor“TheBostonians，“IwouldratherbedamnedtoJohnBunyan”sheaventhanreadthat。 YrsEverMARK ItisaseasytounderstandMarkTwain”senjoymentofIndianSummerashisrevoltagainstDanielDerondaandTheBostonians。Hecaredlittleforwritingthatdidnotconveyitspurposeinthesimplestandmostdirectterms。ItisinterestingtonotethatinthankingClemensforhiscomplimentHowellswrote：“WhatpeoplecannotseeisthatIanalyzeaslittleaspossible；theygoontalkingabouttheanalyticalschool，whichIamsupposedtobelongto，andIwanttothankyouforusingyoureyes……DidyoueverreadDeFoe”s”Roxana”？Ifnot，thenreadit，notmerelyforsomeofthedeepestinsightsintothelying，suffering，sinning，well-meaninghumansoul，butforthebestandmostnaturalEnglishthatabookwaseverwrittenin。” GeneralGrantworkedsteadilyonhisbook，dictatingwhenhecould，makingbriefnotesonslipsofpaperwhenhecouldnolongerspeak。 ClemensvisitedhimatMt。McGregorandbroughtthedyingsoldierthecomfortingnewsthatenoughofhisbookswerealreadysoldtoprovidegenerouslyforhisfamily，andthatthesaleswouldaggregateatleasttwiceasmuchbytheendoftheyear。 ThiswassometimeinJuly。Onthe23dofthatmonthGeneralGrantdied。Immediatelytherewasanewspaperdiscussionastothemostsuitableplaceforthegreatchieftaintolie。MarkTwain”scontributiontothisdebate，thoughintheformofanopenletter，seemsworthyofpreservationhere。 TotheNewYork“Sun，“ontheproperplaceforGrant”sTomb： ToTHEEDITOROP”THESUN：——SIR，——ThenewspaperatmosphereischargedwithobjectionstoNewYorkasaplaceofsepulchreforGeneralGrant，andtheobjectorsarestrenuousthatWashingtonistherightplace。Theyoffergoodreasons——goodtemporaryreasons——forbothofthesepositions。 Butitseemstomethattemporaryreasonsarenotmetefortheoccasion。 Weneedtoconsiderposterityratherthanourowngeneration。Weshouldselectagravewhichwillnotmerelybeintherightplacenow，butwillstillbeintherightplace500yearsfromnow。 HowdoesWashingtonpromiseastothat？Youhaveonlytohititinoneplacetokillit。Somedaythewestwillbenumericallystrongenoughtomovetheseatofgovernment；herpastattemptsareafairwarningthatwhenthedaycomesshewilldoit。ThenthecityofWashingtonwillloseitsconsequenceandpassoutofthepublicviewandpublictalk。Itisquitewithinthepossibilitiesthat，acenturyhence，peoplewouldwonderandsay，“Howdidyourpredecessorscometoburytheirgreatdeadinthisdesertedplace？“ ButaslongasAmericancivilisationlastsNewYorkwilllast。Icannotbutthinkshehasbeenwellandwiselychosenastheguardianofagravewhichisdestinedtobecomealmostthemostconspicuousintheworld”shistory。TwentycenturiesfromnowNewYorkwillstillbeNewYork，stillavastcity，andthemostnotableobjectinitwillstillbethetombandmonumentofGeneralGrant。 IobservethatthecommonandstrongestobjectiontoNewYorkisthatsheisnot“nationalground。”Letusgiveourselvesnouneasinessaboutthat。WhereverGeneralGrant”sbodylies，thatisnationalground。 S。L。CLEMENS。 ELMIRA，July27。 Theletterthatfollowsisverylong，butitseemstooimportantandtoointerestingtobeomittedinanypart。GeneralGrant”searlyindulgenceinliquorshadlongbeenamatterofwide，thoughnotverydefinite，knowledge。EveryonehadheardhowLincoln，onbeingtoldthatGrantdrank，remarkedsomethingtotheeffectthathewouldliketoknowwhatkindofwhiskyGrantusedsothathemightgetsomeofitforhisothergenerals。HenryWardBeecher，selectedtodeliveraeulogyonthedeadsoldier，anddoubtlesswishingneithertoignorethematternortomaketoomuchofit，naturallyturnedforinformationtothepublisherofGrant”sownmemoirs，hopingfromanadvancecopytoobtainlight。 ToHenryWardBeecher，。Brooklyn： ELMIRA，N。Y。Sept。11，”85。 MYDEARMR。BEECHER，——MynephewWebsterisinEuropemakingcontractsfortheMemoirs。Beforehesailedhecametomewithawriting，directedtotheprintersandbinders，tothiseffect： “HonornoorderforasightorcopyoftheMemoirswhileIamabsent，eventhoughitbesignedbyMr。Clemenshimself。” Igavemypermission。TherewereweightyreasonswhyIshouldnotonlygivemypermission，butholditamatterofhonortonotdissolvetheorderormodifyitatanytime。SoIdidallofthat——saidtheordershouldstandundisturbedtotheend。Ifaprincipalcoulddissolvehispromiseasinnocentlyashecandissolvehiswrittenorderunguardedbyhispromise，IwouldsendyouacopyoftheMemoirsinstantly。Ididnotforeseeyou，orIwouldhavemadeanexception…… Myideagainedfromarmymen，isthatthedrunkenness(andsometimesprettyrecklessspreeing，nights，)ceasedbeforehecameEasttobeLt。 General。(ReferespeciallytoGen。Wm。B。Franklin——[IfyoucouldseeFranklinandtalkwithhim——thenhewouldunbosom，])ItwaswhileGrantwasstillintheWestthatMr。Lincolnsaidhewishedhecouldfindoutwhatbrandofwhiskythatfellowused，sohecouldfurnishittosomeoftheothergenerals。FranklinsawGranttumblefromhishorsedrunk，whilereviewingtroopsinNewOrleans。Thefallgavehimagooddealofahurt。HewasthenonthepointofleavingfortheChattanoogaregion。 Inaturallyput“thatandthattogether“whenIreadGen。O。O。Howards”sarticleintheChristianUnion，threeorfourweeksago——wherehementionsthatthenewGeneralarrivedlamefromarecentaccident。 (Seethatarticle。)AndwhynotwriteHoward？ Franklinspokepositivelyofthefrequentspreeing。Incamp——intimeofwar…… CaptainGrantwasfrequentlythreatenedbytheCommandantofhisOregonpostwithareporttotheWarDepartmentofhisconductunlesshemodifiedhisintemperance。Thereportwouldmeandismissalfromtheservice。Atlastthereporthadtobemadeout；andthen，sogreatlywasthecaptainbeloved，thathewasprivatelyinformed，andwasthusenabledtorushhisresignationtoWashingtonaheadofthereport。Didthereportgo，nevertheless？Idon”tknow。Ifitdid，itisintheWarDepartmentnow，possibly，andseeable。Igotallthisfromaregulararmyman，butIcan”tnamehimtosaveme。 TheonlytimeGeneralGrantevermentionedliquortomewasaboutlastAprilorpossiblyMay。Hesaid： “IfIcouldonlybuildupmystrength！Thedoctorsurgewhiskyandchampagne；butIcan”ttakethem；Ican”tabidethetasteofanykindofliquor。” Hadhemadeaconquestsocompletethateventhetasteofliquorwasbecomeanoffense？Orwashesosoreoverwhathadbeensaidabouthishabitthathewantedtopersuadeothersandlikewisehimselfthathehadn”teveneverhadanytasteforit？Itsoundedlikethelatter，butthat”snoevidence。 Hetoldmeinthefallof”84thattherewassomethingthematterwithhisthroat，andthatatthesuggestionofhisphysicianshehadreducedhissmokingtoonecigaraday。Thenheadded，inacasualfashion，thathedidn”tcareforthatone，andseldomsmokedit。 Icouldunderstandthatfeeling。Hehadsetouttoconquernotthehabitbuttheinclination——thedesire。Hehadgoneattheroot，notthetrunk。 It”stheperfectwayandtheonlytrueway(Ispeakfromexperience。) HowIdohatethoseenemiesofthehumanracewhogoaroundenslavingGod”sfreepeoplewithpledges——toquitdrinkinginsteadoftoquitwantingtodrink。 ButShermanandVanVlietknoweverythingconcerningGrant；andifyoutellthemhowyouwanttousethefacts，bothofthemwilltestify。 Regulararmymenhavenoconcealmentsabouteachother；andyettheymaketheirawfulstatementswithoutshadeorcolorormalicewithafranknessandachild-likenaivety，indeed，whichisenchanting-andstupefying。 WestPointseemstoteachthemthat，amongotherpricelessthingsnottobegotinanyothercollegeinthisworld。Ifwetalkedaboutourguild- matesasIhaveheardSherman，Grant，VanVlietandotherstalkabouttheirs——mateswithwhomtheywereonthebestpossibleterms——wecouldneverexpectthemtospeaktousagain…… Iamreminded，now，ofanothermatter。ThedayofthefuneralIsatanhouroverasingledrinkandseveralcigarswithVanVlietandShermanandSenatorSherman。；andamongotherthingsGen。Shermansaid，withimpatientscorn： “TheideaofallthisnonsenseaboutGrantnotbeingabletostandrudelanguageandindelicatestories！WhyGrantwasfullofhumor，andfulloftheappreciationofit。IhavesatwithhimbythehourlisteningtoJimNye”syarns，andIreckonyouknowthestyleofJimNye”shistories，Clemens。Itmakesmesick——thatnewspapernonsense。Grantwasnonamby- pambyfool，hewasaman——allover——roundedandcomplete。” IwishIhadthoughtofit！IwouldhavesaidtoGeneralGrant：“PutthedrunkennessintheMemoirs——andtherepentanceandreform。Trustthepeople。” ButIwillwagerthereisnotahintinthebook。Hewassore，there。 AsmuchofthebookasIhavereadgivesnohint，asfarasIrecollect。 Thesick-roombroughtoutthepointsofGen。Grant”scharacter——someofthemparticularly，towit： Hispatience；hisindestructibleequabilityoftemper；hisexceedinggentleness，kindness，forbearance，lovingness，charity；hisloyalty：tofriends，toconvictions，topromises，half-promises，infinitesimalfractionsandshadowsofpromises；(TherewasarequirementofhimwhichIconsideredanatrocity，aninjustice，anoutrage；Iwantedtoimplorehimtorepudiateit；FredGrantsaid，“Saveyourlabor，Iknowhim；heisindoubtastowhetherhemadethathalf-promiseornot——and，hewillgivethethingthebenefitofthedoubt；hewillfulfillthathalf- promiseorkillhimselftrying；“FredGrantwasright——hedidfulfillit；)hisaggravatinglytrustfulnature；hisgenuineness，simplicity，modesty，diffidence，self-depreciation，povertyinthequalityofvanity- and，innocontradictionofthislast，hissimplepleasureintheflowersandgeneralrucksenttohimbyTom，DickandHarryfromeverywhere——apleasurethatsuggestedaperennialsurprisethatheshouldbetheobjectofsomuchfineattention——hewasthemostlovablegreatchildintheworld；(Imentionedhisloyalty：yourememberHarrison，thecoloredbody- servant？thewholefamilyhatedhim，butthatdidnotmakeanydifference，theGeneralalwaysstoodathisback，wouldn”tallowhimtobescolded；alwaysexcusedhisfailuresanddeficiencieswiththeoneunvaryingformula，“Weareresponsibleforthesethingsinhisrace——itisnotfairtovisitourfaultuponthem——lethimalone；“sotheydidlethimalone，undercompulsion，untilthegreatheartthatwashisshieldwastakenaway；then——welltheysimplycouldn”tstandhim，andsotheywereexcusablefordeterminingtodischargehim——athingwhichtheymortallyhatedtodo，andbyluckyaccidentweresavedfromthenecessityofdoing；)histoughnessasabargainerwhendoingbusinessforotherpeopleorforhiscountry(witnesshis“terms“atDonelson，Vicksburg，etc。；FredGranttoldmehisfatherwoundupanestateforthewidowandorphansofafriendinSt。Louis——ittookseveralyears；attheendeverycomplicationhadbeenstraightenedout，andthepropertyputuponaprosperousbasis；greatsumshadpassedthroughhishands，andwhenhehandedoverthepaperstherewerevoucherstoshowwhathadbeendonewitheverypenny)andhistrusting，easy，unexactingfashionwhendoingbusinessforhimself(atthatsametimehewaspayingoutmoneyindribletstoamanwhowasrunninghisfarmforhim——andinhisfirstPresidencyhepaideveryoneofthosedribletsagain(total，$3，000F。 said，)forhehadn”tascrapofpapertoshowthathehadeverpaidthembefore；inhisdealingswithmehewouldnotlistentotermswhichwouldplacemymoneyatriskandleavehimprotected——thethoughtplainlygavehimpain，andheputitfromhim，waveditoffwithhishands，asonedoesaccountsofcrushingsandmutilations——wouldn”tlisten，changedthesubject；)andhisfortitude！Hewasunder，sentenceofdeathlastspring；hesatthinking，musing，severaldays——nobodyknowswhatabout； thenhepulledhimselftogetherandsettoworktofinishthatbook，acolossaltaskforadyingman。Presentlyhishandgaveout；fateseemedtohavegothimcheckmated。Dictationwassuggested。No，henevercoulddothat；hadnevertriedit；toooldtolearn，now。Byandby——ifhecouldonlydoAppomattox-well。Sohesentforastenographer，anddictated9，000wordsatasinglesitting！——neverpausing，neverhesitatingforaword，neverrepeating——andinthewritten-outcopyhemadehardlyacorrection。Hedictatedagain，everytwoorthreedays—— theintervalswereintervalsofexhaustionandslowrecuperation——andatlasthewasabletotellmethathehadwrittenmorematterthancouldbegotintothebook。Ithenenlargedthebook——hadto。Thenhelosthisvoice。Hewasnotquitedoneyet，however：——therewasnoendoflittleplumsandspicestobestuckin，hereandthere；andthisworkhepatientlycontinued，afewlinesaday，withpadandpencil，tillfarintoJuly，atMt。McGregor。Onedayheputhispencilaside，andsaidhewasdone——therewasnothingmoretodo。IfIhadbeenthereIcouldhaveforetoldtheshockthatstrucktheworldthreedayslater。 Well，I”vewrittenallthis，anditdoesn”tseemtoamounttoanything。 ButIdowanttohelp，ifIonlycould。IwillenclosesomescrapsfrommyAutobiography——scrapsaboutGeneralGrant——theymaybeofsometrifleofuse，andtheymaynot——theyatleastverifyknowntraitsofhischaracter。MyAutobiographyisprettyfreelydictated，butmyideaistojack-planeitalittlebeforeIdie，somedayorother；Imeantherudeconstructionandrottengrammar。ItistheonlydictatingIeverdid，anditwasmosttroublesomeandawkwardwork。YoumayreturnittoHartford。 SincerelyYoursS。L。CLEMENS。 Theoldlong-deferredLibraryofHumorcameupagainfordiscussion，wheninthefallof1885HowellsassociatedhimselfwithHarper& Brothers。Howells”scontractprovidedthathisnamewasnottoappearonanybooknotpublishedbytheHarperfirm。Hewrote，therefore，offeringtosellouthisinterestintheenterprisefortwothousanddollars，inadditiontothefivehundredwhichhehadalreadyreceived——anamountconsideredtobelessthanhewastohavereceivedasjointauthorandcompiler。MarkTwain”sanswerprettyfullycoversthedetailsofthisundertaking。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： HARTFORD，Oct。18，1885。 Private。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Ireckonitwouldruinthebookthatis，makeitnecessarytopigeon-holeitandleaveitunpublished。Icouldn”tpublishitwithoutaveryresponsiblenametosupportmyownonthetitlepage，becauseithassomuchofmyownmatterinit。IboughtOsgood”srightsfor$3，000cash，IhavepaidClark$800andowehim$700more，whichmustofcoursebepaidwhetherIpublishornot。YetIfullyrecognizethatI havenosortofmoralrighttoletthatancientandprocrastinatedcontracthamperyouinanyway，andImostcertainlywon”t。So，itismydecision，——afterthinkingoverandrejectingtheideaoftryingtobuypermissionoftheHarpersfor$2，500touseyourname，(apropositionwhichtheywouldhatetorefusetoamaninaperplexedposition，andyetwouldnaturallyhavetorefuseit，)topigeon-holethe“Library“：notdestroyit，butmerelypigeon-holeitandwaitafewyearsandseewhatnewnotionProvidencewilltakeconcerningit。Hewillnotdesertusnow，afterputtinginfourlickstoouroneonthisbookallthistime。 Itreallyseemsinasensediscourteousnottocallit“Providence”sLibraryofHumor。” Nowthatdealisallsettled，thenextquestionis，doyouneedandmustyourequirethat$2，000now？SincelastMarch，youknow，Iamcarryingamightyload，solitaryandalone——GeneralGrant”sbook——andmustcarryittillthefirstvolumeis30daysold(Jan。1st)beforethereliefmoneywillbegintoflowin。FromnowtillthefirstofJanuaryeverydollarisasvaluabletomeasitcouldbetoafamishingtramp。Ifyoucanwaittillthen——Imeanwithoutdiscomfort，withoutinconvenience——itwillbealargeaccommodationtome；butIwillnotallowyoutodothisfavorifitwilldiscommodeyou。So，speakrightout，frankly，andifyouneedthemoneyIwillgooutonthehighwayandgetit，usingviolence，ifnecessary。 Mind，Iamnotinfinancialdifficulties，andamnotgoingtobe。Iammerelyastarvingbeggarstandingoutsidethedoorofplenty——obstructedbyaYaletime-lockwhichissetforJan。1st。Icanstandit，andstanditperfectlywell；butthedaysdoseemtofoolalongconsiderableslowerthantheyusedto。 IammightygladyouarewiththeHarpers。Ihavenoticedthatgoodmenintheiremploygotheretostay。 Yoursever，MARK。 InthenextletterwebegintogetsomeideaofthesizeofMarkTwain”sfirstpublishingventure，andabriefsummaryofresultsmaynotbeoutofplacehere。 TheGrantLifewasissuedintwovolumes。Intheearlymonthsoftheyearwhentheagents”canvasswasjustbeginning，MarkTwain，withwhatseemsnowalmostclairvoyantvision，prophesiedasaleofthreehundredthousandsets。Theactualsalesransomewhatmorethanthisnumber。OnFebruary27，1886，CharlesL。Webster&Co。 paidtoMrs。Grantthelargestsingleroyaltycheckinthehistoryofbook-publishing。Theamountofitwastwohundredthousanddollars。Subsequentchecksincreasedtheaggregatereturntoconsiderablymorethandoublethisfigure。InamemorandummadebyClemensinthemidstofthecanvasshewrote。” “During100consecutivedaysthesales(i。e。，subscriptions)ofGeneralGrant”sbookaveraged3，000sets(6，000singlevolumes)perday：Roughlystated，Mrs。Grant”sincomeduringallthattimewas$5，000aday。” ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： HOTELNORMANDIE NEWYORK，Dec。2，”85。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——ItoldWebster，thisafternoon，tosendyouthat$2，000；butheisinsucharush，thesefirstdaysofpublication，thathemaypossiblyforgetit；soIwritelestIforgetittoo。Remindme，ifheshouldforget。WhenIpostponedyoulately，IdiditbecauseI thoughtIshouldbecrampedformoneyuntilJanuary，butthathasturnedouttobeanerror，soIhastentocutshortthepostponement。 IjudgebythenewspapersthatyouareinAuburndale，butIdon”tknowitofficially。 I”vegotthefirstvolumelaunchedsafely；consequently，halfofthesuspenseisover，andIamthatmuchnearerthegoal。We”veboundandshipped200，000books；andbythe10thshallfinishandshiptheremaining125，000ofthefirstedition。Igotnervousandcamedowntohelphump-upthebinderies；andImeantostayhereprettymuchallthetimetillthefirstdaysofMarch，whenthesecondvolumewillissue。 Shan”thavesomuchtrouble，thistime，though，ifwegettopressprettysoon，becausewecangetmorebinderiesthenthanaretobehadinfrontoftheholidays。Onelivesandlearns。Ifindittakes7binderiesfourmonthstobind325，000books。 Thisisagoodbooktopublish。Iheardacanvassersay，yesterday，thatwhiledeliveringelevenbookshetook7newsubscriptions。Butweshallbeinahellofafixifthatgoeson——itwill“ballup“thebinderiesagain。 YrseverMARK。 November30ththatyearwasMarkTwain”sfiftiethbirthday，aneventnoticedbythenewspapersgenerally，andespeciallyobservedbymanyofhisfriends。Warner，Stocktonandmanyotherssentletters； AndrewLangcontributedafinepoem；alsoOliverWendell。Holmes—— thelatterbyspecialrequestofMissGilder——fortheCritic。Theseattentionscameasasortofcrowninghappinessattheendofagoldenyear。AtnotimeinhislifewereMarkTwain”sfortunesandprospectsbrighter；hehadabeautifulfamilyandaperfecthome。 Also，hehadgreatprosperity。Thereading-tourwithCablehadbeenafinesuccess。Hislatestbook，TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn，hadaddedlargelytohisfameandincome。ThepublicationoftheGrantMemoirshadbeenadazzlingtriumph。MarkTwainhadbecomerecognized，notonlyasAmerica”smostdistinguishedauthor，butasitsmostenviedpublisher。Andnow，withhisfiftiethbirthday，hadcomethislaurelfromHolmes，lastoftheBrahmins，toaddatouchofglorytoalltherest。Wefeelhisexaltationinhisnoteofacknowledgment。 ToDr。OliverWendellHolmes，inBoston： DEARMR。HOLMES，——Ishallneverbeabletotellyouthehalfofhowproudyouhavemademe。IfIcouldyouwouldsayyouwerenearlypaidforthetroubleyoutook。Andthenthefamily：IfIcanconveytheelectricalsurpriseandgratitudeandexaltationofthewifeandthechildrenlastnight，whentheyhappeneduponthatCriticwhereIhad，withartfulartlessness，spreaditopenandretiredoutofviewtoseewhatwouldhappen——well，itwasgreatandfineandbeautifultosee，andmademefeelasthevictorfeelswhentheshoutinghostsmarchby；andifyoualsocouldhaveseenityouwouldhavesaidtheaccountwassquared。ForIhavebroughtthemupinyourcompany，asinthecompanyofawarmandfriendlyandbeneficentbutfar-distantsun；andso，foryoutodothisthingwasforthesuntosenddownoutoftheskiesthemiracleofaspecialrayandtransfiguremebeforetheirfaces。Iknewwhatthatpoemwouldbetothem；Iknewitwouldraisemeuptoremoteandshiningheightsintheireyes，toveryfellowshipwiththechamberedNautilusitself，andthatfromthatfellowshiptheycouldnevermoredissociatemewhiletheyshouldlive；andsoImadesuretobebywhenthesurpriseshouldcome。 CharlesDudleyWarnerischarmedwiththepoemforitsownfelicitoussake；andsoindeedamI，butmorebecauseithasdrawnthestingofmyfiftiethyear；takenawaythepainofit，thegriefofit，thesomehowshameofit，andmademegladandproudithappened。 Withreverenceandaffection，Sincerelyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。 Holmeswrotewithhisownhand：“DidMissGildertellyouIhadtwenty-threelettersspreadoutforanswerwhenhersuggestioncameaboutyouranniversary？Istoppedmycorrespondenceandmademyletterswaituntilthelinesweredone。” EndLettersVol。4 byMarkTwainVOLUMEIV。 MARKTWAIN”SLETTERS1886-1900 XXVI LETTERS，1886-87。JANECLEMENS”SROMANCE。UNMAILEDLETTERS，ETC。 WhenClemenshadbeenplatformingwithCableandreturnedtoHartfordforhisChristmasvacation，theWarnerandClemensfamilieshadjoinedinpreparingforhimasurpriseperformanceofThePrinceandthePauper。TheClemenshouseholdwasalwaysgiventotheatricals，anditwasaboutthistimethatsceneryandastagewereprepared——mainlybythesculptorGerhardt——forthesehomeperformances，afterwhichproductionsofThePrinceandthePauperweregivenwithconsiderableregularitytoaudiencesconsistingofparentsandinvitedfriends。Thesubjectisafascinatingone，butithasbeendweltuponelsewhere——[InMarkTwain：ABiography，chaps。cliffandclx。]——WegetaglimpseofoneoftheseoccasionsaswellasofMarkTwain”sfinancialprogressinthenextbriefnote。 ToW。D。Howells；inBoston： Jan。3，”86。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——ThedatesetforthePrinceandPauperplayistendayshence——Jan。13。IhopeyouandPillacantakeatrainthatarriveshereduringtheday；theonethatleavesBostontowardtheendoftheafternoonwouldbeatriflelate；theperformancewouldhavealreadybegunwhenyoureachedthehouse。 I”moutofthewoods。OnthelastdayoftheyearIhadpaidout$182，000ontheGrantbookanditwastotallyfreefromdebt。 YrseverMARK。 MarkTwain”smotherwasawomanofsturdycharacterandwithakeensenseofhumorandtendersympathies。Herhusband，JohnMarshallClemens，hadbeenamanofhighmoralcharacter，honoredbyallwhoknewhim，respectedandapparentlylovedbyhiswife。Noonewouldeverhavesupposedthatduringallheryearsofmarriage，andalmosttoherdeath，shecarriedasecretromancethatwouldonlybetoldatlastinthewearydisappointmentofoldage。Itisacuriousstory，anditcametolightinthiscuriousway： ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： HARTFORD，May19，”86。 MYDEARHOWELLS，……Here”sasecret。Amostcuriousandpatheticromance，whichhasjustcometolight。Readthesethings，butdon”tmentionthem。Lastfall，myoldmother——then82——tookanotiontoattendaconventionofoldsettlersoftheMississippiValleyinanIowatown。 Mybrother”swifewasastonished；andrepresentedtoherthehardshipsandfatiguesofsuchatrip，andsaidmymothermightpossiblynotevensurvivethem；andsaidtherecouldbenopossibleinterestforherinsuchameetingandsuchacrowd。Butmymotherinsisted，andpersisted； andfinallygainedherpoint。Theystarted；andallthewaymymotherwasyoungagainwithexcitement，interest，eagerness，anticipation。Theyreachedthetownandthehotel。Mymotherstrodewiththesameeagernessinhereyeandherstep，tothecounter，andsaid： “IsDr。BarrettofSt。Louis，here？“ “No。Hewashere，buthereturnedtoSt。Louisthismorning。” “Willhecomeagain？“ “No。” Mymotherturnedaway，thefireallgonefromher，andsaid，“Letusgohome。” TheywentstraightbacktoKeokuk。Mymothersatsilentandthinkingformanydays——athingwhichhadneverhappenedbefore。Thenonedayshesaid： “Iwilltellyouasecret。WhenIwaseighteen，ayoungmedicalstudentnamedBarrettlivedinColumbia(Ky。)eighteenmilesaway；andheusedtorideovertoseeme。Thiscontinuedforsometime。Ilovedhimwithmywholeheart，andIknewthathefeltthesametowardme，thoughnowordshadbeenspoken。Hewastoobashfultospeak——hecouldnotdoit。 Everybodysupposedwewereengaged——tookitforgrantedwewere——butwewerenot。Byandbytherewastobeapartyinaneighboringtown，andhewrotemyuncletellinghimhisfeelings，andaskinghimtodrivemeoverinhisbuggyandlethim(Barrett)drivemeback，sothathemighthavethatopportunitytopropose。Myuncleshouldhavedoneashewasasked，withoutexplaininganythingtome；butinstead，hereadmetheletter；andthen，ofcourse，Icouldnotgo——anddidnot。He(Barrett) leftthecountrypresently，andI，tostoptheclackingtongues，andtoshowhimthatIdidnotcare，married，inapet。Inallthesesixty-fouryearsIhavenotseenhimsince。IsawinapaperthathewasgoingtoattendthatOldSettlers”Convention。Onlythreehoursbeforewereachedthathotel，hehadbeenstandingthere！“ Sincethen，hermemoryiswhollyfadedoutandgone；andnowshewritesletterstotheschool-mateswhohadbeendeadfortyyears，andwonderswhytheyneglectheranddonotanswer。 Thinkofhercarryingthatpatheticburdeninheroldheartsixty-fouryears，andnohumanbeingeversuspectingit！ Yrsever，MARK。 Wedonotgettheideafromthisletterthatthosetwolongagosweetheartsquarreled，butMarkTwainoncespokeoftheirhavingdoneso，andtheremayhavebeenadisagreement，assumingthattherewasasubsequentmeeting。Itdoesnotmatter，now。Inspeakingofit，MarkTwainoncesaid：“Itisaspatheticaromanceasanythathascrossedthefieldofmypersonalexperienceinalonglifetime。”——[WhenMarkTwain： ABiographywaswrittenthisletterhadnotcometolight，andthematterwasstatedthereinaccordancewithMarkTwain”slatestmemoryofit。] Howellswrote：“Afterall，howpoorandhackneyedalltheinventionsarecomparedwiththesimpleandstatelyfacts。Whocouldhaveimaginedsuchaheart-breakasthat？Yetitwentalongwiththefulfillmentofeverydaydutyandmadenomorenoisethanagraveunderfoot。Idoubtiffictionwillevergettheknackofsuchthings。” JaneClemensnowlivedwithhersonOrionandhiswife，inKeokuk，whereshewasmorecontentedthanelsewhere。Intheselaterdayshermemoryhadbecomeerratic，herrealizationofeventsaboutheruncertain，butthereweretimeswhenshewasquiteherformerself，rememberingclearlyandtalkingwithherold-timegaietyofspirit。MarkTwainfrequentlysentherplayfulletterstoamuseher，lettersfullofsuchboyishgaietyashadamusedherlongyearsbefore。Theonethatfollowsisafairexample。ItwaswrittenafteravisitwhichClemensandhisfamilyhadpaidtoKeokuk。 ToJaneClemens，inKeokuk： ELMIRA，Aug。7，”86。 DEARMA，——IheardthatMollyandOrionandPamelahadbeensick，butI seebyyourletterthattheyaremuchbetternow，ornearlywell。Whenwevisitedyouamonthago，itseemedtousthatyourKeokukweatherwasprettyhot；JeanandClarasatupinbedatMrs。McElroy”sandcriedaboutit，andsodidI；butIjudgebyyourletterthatithascooleddown，now，sothatapersoniscomparativelycomfortable，withhisskinoff。Wellitdidneedcooling；IrememberthatIburntaholeinmyshirt，there，withsomeicecreamthatfellonit；andMissJenkinstoldmetheyneverusedastove，butcookedtheirmealsonamarble-toppedtableinthedrawing-room，justwiththenaturalheat。Ifanybodyelsehadtoldme，Iwouldnothavebelievedit。IwastoldbytheBishopofKeokukthathedidnotallowcryingatfunerals，becauseitscaldedthefurniture。IfMissJenkinshadtoldmethat，Iwouldhavebelievedit。 ThisremindsmethatyouspeakofDr。Jenkinsandhisfamilyasiftheywerestrangerstome。Indeedtheyarenot。Don”tyousupposeIremembergratefullyhowtenderthedoctorwaswithJeanwhenshehurtherarm，andhowquicklyhegotthepainoutofthehurt，whereasIsupposeditwasgoingtolastatleastanhour？No，Idon”tforgetsomethingsaseasilyasIdoothers。 Yes，itwasprettyhotweather。Nowhere，whenapersonisgoingtodie，heisalwaysinasweataboutwhereheisgoingto；butinKeokukofcoursetheydon”tcare，becausetheyarefixedforeverything。Ithassetmereflecting，ithastaughtmealesson。Byandby，whenmyhealthfails，Iamgoingtoputallmyaffairsinorder，andbidgood-byetomyfriendshere，andkillallthepeopleIdon”tlike，andgoouttoKeokukandpreparefordeath。 Theyareallwellinthisfamily，andweallsendlove。 AfflyYourSonSAM。 Thewaysofcityofficialsandcorporationsareoftenpastunderstanding，andMarkTwainsometimesfounditnecessarytowritepicturesquelettersofprotest。ThefollowingtoaHartfordlightingcompanyisafairexampleofthesedocuments。 Toagasandelectric-lightingcompany，inHartford： GENTLEMEN，——Therearebuttwoplacesinourwholestreetwherelightscouldbeofanyvalue，byanyaccident，andyouhavemeasuredandappointedyourintervalssoingeniouslyastoleaveeachofthoseplacesinthecentreofacoupleofhundredyardsofsoliddarkness。WhenI noticedthatyouweresettingoneofyourlightsinsuchawaythatI couldalmostseehowtogetintomygateatnight，Isuspectedthatitwasapieceofcarelessnessonthepartoftheworkmen，andwouldbecorrectedassoonasyoushouldgoaroundinspectingandfinditout。 Myjudgmentwasright；itisalwaysright，whenyouaxeconcerned。Forfifteenyears，inspiteofmyprayersandtears，youpersistentlykeptagaslampexactlyhalfwaybetweenmygates，sothatIcouldn”tfindeitherofthemafterdark；andthenfurnishedsuchexecrablegasthatI hadtohangadangersignalonthelampposttokeepteamsfromrunningintoit，nights。NowIsupposeyourpresentideais，toleaveusalittlemoreinthedark。 Don”tmindus——outourway；wepossessbutonevoteapiece，andnorightswhichyouareinanywayboundtorespect。Pleasetakeyourelectriclightandgoto——butnevermind，itisnotformetosuggest；youwillprobablyfindtheway；andanywayyoucanreasonablycountondivineassistanceifyouloseyourbearings。 S。L。CLEMENS。 [EtextEditor”sNote：TwainwroteanothernotetoHartfordGasandElectric，whichhemaynothavemailedandwhichPainedoesnotincludeinthesevolumes： “Gentleman：——SomedayyouaregoingtomovemealmosttothepointofirritationwithyourGod-damnedchuckleheadedfashionofturningoffyourGod-damnedgaswithoutgivingnoticetoyourGod-damnedparishioners——andyoudiditagainlastnight” D。W。] FrequentlyClemensdidnotsendlettersofthissortaftertheywerewritten。Sometimesherealizedtheuselessnessofsuchprotest，sometimesthemerewritingofthemhadfurnishedthenecessaryrelief，andheput，theletteraway，orintothewastebasket，andwrotesomethingmoretemperate，ornothingatall。Afewsuchlettersherefollow。 Clemenswasallthetimereceivingapplicationfrompeoplewhowishedhimtorecommendonearticleoranother；books，plays，tobacco，andwhatnot。Theyweregenerallypersistentpeople，unabletoacceptapoliteorkindlydenial。Oncehesetdownsomeremarksonthisparticularphaseofcorrespondence。Hewrote： I NodoubtMr。Edisonhasbeenofferedalargeinterestinmanyandmanyanelectricalproject，fortheuseofhisnametofloatitwithal。Andnodoubtallmenwhohaveachievedfortheirnames，inanylineofactivitywhatever，asuremarketvalue，havebeenfamiliarwiththissortofsolicitation。Reputationisahall-mark：itcanremovedoubtfrompuresilver，anditcanalsomaketheplatedarticlepassforpure。 Andso，peoplewithoutahall-markoftheirownarealwaystryingtogettheloanofsomebodyelse”s。 Asarule，thatkindofapersonseesonlyonesideofthecase。Heseesthathisinventionorhispaintingorhisbookis——apparently——atriflebetterthanyouyourselfcando，thereforewhyshouldn”tyoubewillingtoputyourhall-markonit？Youwillbegivingthepurchaserhisfullmoney”sworth；sowhoishurt，andwhereistheharm？Besides，areyounothelpingastrugglingfellow-craftsman，andisitnotyourdutytodothat？ Thatsideisplentyclearenoughtohim，buthecan”tandwon”tseetheotherside，to-wit：thatyouarearascalifyouputyourhall-markuponathingwhichyoudidnotproduceyourself，howsoevergooditmaybe。 Howsimplethatis；andyettherearenottwoapplicantsinahundredwhocan，bemadetoseeit。 Whenonereceivesanapplicationofthissort，hisfirstemotionisanindignantsenseofinsult；hisfirstdeedisthepenningofasharpanswer。Heblamesnobodybutthatotherperson。Thatpersonisaverybasebeing；hemustbe；hewoulddegradehimselfformoney，otherwiseitwouldnotoccurtohimthatyouwoulddosuchathing。Butallthesame，thatapplicationhasdoneitswork，andtakenyoudowninyourownestimation。Yourecognizethateverybodyhasn”tashighanopinionofyouasyouhaveofyourself；andinspiteofyouthereensuesanintervalduringwhichyouarenot，inyourownestimationasfineabirdasyouwerebefore。 However，beingoldandexperienced，youdonotmailyoursharpletter，butleaveitlyingaday。Thatsavesyou。Forbythattimeyouhavebeguntoreflectthatyouareapersonwhodealsinexaggerations——andexaggerationsarelies。Youmeantyourstobeplayful，andthoughtyoumadethemunmistakablyso。Butyoucouldn”tmakethemplayfulnessestoamanwhohasnosenseoftheplayfulandcanseenothingbuttheserioussideofthings。Yourattleonquiteplayfully，andwithmeasurelessextravagance，abouthowyouweptatthetombofAdam；andallingoodtimeyoufindtoyourastonishmentthatnoendofpeopletookyouatyourwordandbelievedyou。Andpresentlytheyfindoutthatyouwerenotinearnest。Theyhavebeendeceived；therefore，(astheyargue——andthereisasortofargumentinit，)youareadeceiver。Ifyouwilldeceiveinoneway，whyshouldn”tyouinanother？Sotheyapplyfortheuseofyourtrade-mark。Youareamazedandaffronted。Youretortthatyouarenotthatkindofperson。Thentheyareamazedandaffronted；andwonder“sincewhen？“ Bythistimeyouhavegotyourbearings。Yourealizethatperhapsthereisalittleblameonbothsides。Youareintherightframe，now。Soyouwritealettervoidofoffense，declining。Youmailthisone；youpigeon-holetheother。 Thatis，beingoldandexperienced，youdo，butearlyinyourcareer，youdon”t：youmailthefirstone。 II Anenthusiastwhohadanewsystemofmusicalnotation，wrotetomeandsuggestedthatamagazinearticlefromme，contrastingtheabsurditiesoftheoldsystemwiththesimplicitiesofhisnewone，wouldbesuretomakea“rousinghit。”Heshoutedandshoutedoverthemarvelswroughtbyhissystem，andquotedthehandsomecomplimentswhichhadbeenpaiditbyfamousmusicalpeople；butheforgottotellmewhathisnotationwaslike，orwhatitssimplicitiesconsistedin。SoIcouldnothavewrittenthearticleifIhadwantedto——whichIdidn”t；becauseIhatestrangerswithaxestogrind。IwrotehimacourteousnoteexplaininghowbusyI was——IalwaysexplainhowbusyIam——andcasuallydroopedthisremark： “IjudgetheX-Xnotationtobearationalmodeofrepresentingmusic，inplaceoftheprevailingfashion，whichwastheinventionofanidiot。” Nextmailheaskedpermissiontoprintthatmeaninglessremark。 Ianswered，no——courteously，butstill，no；explainingthatIcouldnotaffordtobeplacedintheattitudeoftryingtoinfluencepeoplewithamereworthlessguess。WhatascorcherIgot，nextmail！Suchirony！ suchsarcasm，suchcausticpraiseofmysuperhonorableloyaltytothepublic！Andwithal，suchcompassionformystupidity，too，innotbeingabletounderstandmyownlanguage。Icannotrememberthewordsofthisletterbroadside，buttherewasaboutapageusedupinturningthisidearoundandroundandexposingitindifferentlights。 UnmailedAnswer： DEARSIR，——Whatisthetroublewithyou？Ifitisyourviscera，youcannothavethemtakenoutandreorganizedamomenttoosoon。Imean，iftheyareinside。Butifyouarecomposedofthem，thatisanothermatter。Isityourbrain？Butitcouldnotbeyourbrain。Possiblyitisyourskull：youwanttolookoutforthat。Somepeople，whentheygetanidea，itpriesthestructureapart。Yoursystemofnotationhasgotinthere，andcouldn”tfindroom，withoutadoubtthatiswhatthetroubleis。Yourskullwasnotmadetoputideasin，itwasmadetothrowpotatoesat。 YoursTruly。 MailedAnswer： DEARSIR，——Come，come——takeawalk；youdisturbthechildren。 YoursTruly。 Therewasaday，nowhappilynearlyover，whencertainnewspapersmadeapracticeofinvitingmendistinguishedinanywalkoflifetogivetheirtimeandeffortwithoutchargetoexpressthemselvesonsomesubjectoftheday，orperhapstheywereaskedtosendtheirfavoritepassagesinproseorverse，withthereasonswhy。Suchsymposiumswere“features“ thatcostthenewspapersonlythewritingofanumberofletters，stationery，andpostage。ToonesuchinvitationMarkTwainwrotetworeplies。Theyfollowherewith： UnmailedAnswer： DEARSIR，——Ihavereceivedyourproposition——whichyouhaveimitatedfromapauperLondonperiodicalwhichhadpreviouslyimitatedtheideaofthissortofmendicancyfromseventh-rateAmericanjournalism，whereitoriginatedasavariationoftheinexpensive“interview。” WhydoyoubuyAssociatedPressdispatches？Tomakeyourpaperthemoresalable，youanswer。Butwhydon”tyoutrytobegthem？Whydoyoudiscriminate？Icansellmystuff；whyshouldIgiveittoyou？Whydon”tyouaskmeforashirt？Whatisthedifferencebetweenaskingmefortheworthofashirtandaskingmefortheshirtitself？Perhapsyoudidn”tknowyouwerebegging。Iwouldnotusethatargument——itmakestheuserafool。Thepassageofpoetry——orprose，ifyouwill——whichhastakendeepestrootinmythought，andwhichIoftenestreturntoanddwelluponwithkeenestnomatterwhat，isthis：Thattheproperplaceforjournalistswhosolicitliterarycharityisonthestreetcornerwiththeirhatsintheirhands。 MailedAnswer： DEARSIR，——Yourfavorofrecentdateisreceived，butIamobligedbypressofworktodecline。 ThemanagerofatravelingtheatricalcompanywrotethathehadtakenthelibertyofdramatizingTomSawyer，andwouldlikealsotheuseoftheauthor”sname——theideabeingtoconveytothepublicthatitwasaMarkTwainplay。InreturnforthisslightfavorthemanagersentaninvitationforMarkTwaintocomeandseetheplay—— tobepresentontheopeningnight，asitwere，athis(themanager”s)expense。Headdedthatiftheplayshouldbeagointhecitiestheremightbesome“arrangement“ofprofits。ApparentlytheseinducementsdidnotappealtoMarkTwain。Thelongunmailedreplyisthemoreinteresting，butprobablythebrieferonethatfollowsitwasquiteaseffective。 UnmailedAnswer： HARTFORD，Sept。8，”87。 DEARSIR，——Andsoithasgotaroundtoyou，atlast；andyoualsohave“takentheliberty。”YouareNo。1365。When1364sweeterandbetterpeople，includingtheauthor，have“tried“todramatizeTomSawyeranddidnotarrive，whatsortofshowdoyousupposeyoustand？Thatisabook，dearsir，whichcannotbedramatized。Onemightaswelltrytodramatizeanyotherhymn。TomSawyerissimplyahymn，putintoproseformtogiveitaworldlyair。 Whythepaledoubtthatflittethdimandnebulousathwarttheforecastleofyourthirdsentence？Havenofears。YourpiecewillbeaGo。 Itwillgooutthebackdooronthefirstnight。They”vealldoneit——the1364。Sowill1365。Notoneofuseverthoughtofthesimpledeviceofhalf-solinghimselfwithastove-lid。Ah，whatsufferingalittlehindsightwouldhavesavedus。Treasurethishint。 Howkindofyoutoinvitemetothefuneral。Goto；Ihaveattendedathousandofthem。IhaveseenTomSawyer”sremainsinallthedifferentkindsofdramaticshroudsthereare。Youcannotstartanythingfresh。 Areyouseriouswhenyouproposetopaymyexpence——ifthatistheSusquehannianwayofspellingit？AndcanyoubeawarethatIchargeahundreddollarsamilewhenItravelforpleasure？Doyourealizethatitis432milestoSusquehanna？Woulditbehandyforyoutosendmethe$43，200first，soIcouldbecountingitasIcomealong；becauserailroadingisprettydrearytoasensitivenaturewhenthere”snothingsordidtobuckatforZeitvertreib。 NowasIunderstandit，dearandmagnanimous1365，youaregoingtorecreateTomSawyerdramatically，andthendomethecomplimenttoputmeinthebillsasfatherofthisshadyoffspring。Sir，doyouknowthatthiskindofacomplimenthasdestroyedpeoplebeforenow？Listen。 Twenty-fouryearsago，Iwasstrangelyhandsome。Theremainsofitarestillvisiblethroughtheriftsoftime。IwassohandsomethathumanactivitiesceasedasifspellboundwhenIcameinview，andeveninanimatethingsstoppedtolook——likelocomotives，anddistrictmessengerboysandso-on。InSanFrancisco，intherainyseasonIwasoftenmistakenforfairweather。UpononeoccasionIwastravelingintheSonoraregion，andstoppedforanhour”snooning，torestmyhorseandmyself。Allthetowncameouttolook。ThetribesofIndiansgatheredtolook。APiutesquawnamedherbabyforme，——avoluntarycomplimentwhichpleasedmegreatly。Otherattentionswerepaidme。 LastofallarrivedthepresidentandfacultyofSonoraUniversityandofferedmethepostofProfessorofMoralCultureandtheDogmaticHumanities；whichIacceptedgratefully，andenteredatonceuponmyduties。ButmynamehadpleasedtheIndians，andinthedeadlykindnessoftheirheartstheywentonnamingtheirbabiesafterme。Itriedtostopit，buttheIndianscouldnotunderstandwhyIshouldobjecttosomanifestacompliment。Thethinggrewandgrewandspreadandspreadandbecameexceedinglyembarrassing。TheUniversitystooditacoupleofyears；butthenforthesakeofthecollegetheyfeltobligedtocallahalt，althoughIhadthesympathyofthewholefaculty。Thepresidenthimselfsaidtome，“IamassorryasIcanbeforyou，andwouldstillholdoutiftherewereanyhopeahead；butyouseehowitis：thereareahundredandthirty-twoofthemalready，andfourteenprecinctstohearfrom。Thecircumstancehasbroughtyournameintomostwideandunfortunaterenown。Itcausesmuchcomment——Ibelievethatthatisnotanover-statement。Someofthiscommentispalliative，butsomeofit——bypatronsatadistance，whoonlyknowthestatisticswithouttheexplanation，——isoffensive，andinsomecasesevenviolent。Ninestudentshavebeencalledhome。Thetrusteesofthecollegehavebeengrowingmoreandmoreuneasyalltheselastmonths——steadilyalongwiththeimplacableincreaseinyourcensus——andIwillnotconcealfromyouthatmorethanoncetheyhavetouchedupontheexpediencyofachangeintheProfessorshipofMoralCulture。Thecoarselysarcasticeditorialinyesterday”sAlta，headedGivetheMoralAcrobataRest——hasbroughtthingstoacrisis，andIamchargedwiththeunpleasantdutyofreceivingyourresignation。” Iknowyouonlymeanmeakindness，dear1365，butitisamostdeadlymistake。PleasedonotnameyourInjunforme。TrulyYours。 MailedAnswer： NEWYORK，Sept。8。1887。 DEARSIR，——NecessarilyIcannotassenttosostrangeaproposition。AndIthinkitbutfairtowarnyouthatifyouputthepieceonthestage，youmusttakethelegalconsequences。 Yoursrespectfully，S。L。CLEMENS。 BeforethedaysofinternationalcopyrightnoAmericanauthor”sbookswerepiratedmorefreelybyCanadianpublishersthanthoseofMarkTwain。Itwasalwaysasorepointwithhimthatthesebooks，cheaplyprinted，foundtheirwayintotheUnitedStates，andweresoldincompetitionwithhisbettereditions。Thelawonthesubjectseemedtoberatherhazy，anditsvariousinterpretationsexasperating。InthenextunmailedletterMarkTwainrelieveshimselftoamisguidedofficial。Theletterisworthreadingtoday，iffornootherreason，toshowtheabsurdityofcopyrightconditionswhichprevailedatthattime。 UnmailedLettertoH。C。Christiancy，onbookPiracy： HARTFORD，Dec。18，”87。 H。C。CHRISTIANCY，ESQ。 DEARSIR，——AsIunderstandit，thepositionoftheU。S。Governmentisthis：Ifapersonbecapturedontheborderwithcounterfeitbondsinhishands——bondsoftheN。Y。CentralRailway，forinstance——theprocedureinhiscaseshallbeasfollows： 1。IftheN。Y。C。havenotpreviouslyfiledintheseveralpoliceofficesalongtheborder，proofofownershipoftheoriginalsofthebonds，thegovernmentofficialsmustcollectadutyonthecounterfeits，andthenletthemgoaheadandcirculateinthiscountry。 2。Butifthereisproofalreadyonfile，thentheN。Y。C。maypaythedutyandtakethecounterfeits。 ButinnocasewilltheUnitedStatesconsenttogowithoutitsshareoftheswag。Itisdelicious。Thebiggestandproudestgovernmentonearthturnedsneak-thief；collectingpenniesonstolenproperty，andpocketingthemwithagreasyandlibidinousleer；goingintopartnershipwithforeignthievestorobitsownchildren；andwhenthechildescapestheforeigner，descendingtotheabysmalbasenessofhangingonandrobbingtheinfantallalonebyitself！Dearsir，thisisnotanymorerespectablethanforafathertocollecttollontheforcedprostitutionofhisowndaughter；infactitisthesamething。Upontheseterms，whatisaU。S。customhousebuta“fence？“Thatisallitis：alegalizedtraderinstolengoods。 Andthisnastylaw，thisfilthylaw，thisunspeakablelawcallsitselfa“regulationfortheprotectionofownersofcopyright！“Cansarcasmgofurtherthanthat？Inwhatwaydoesitprotectthem？Inspirationitselfcouldnotfurnisharationalanswertothatquestion。Whomdoesitprotect，then？Nobody，asfarasIcansee，buttheforeignthief- sometimes——andhisfellow-footpadtheU。S。government，allthetime。 WhatcouldtheCentralCompanydowiththecounterfeitbondsafterithadboughtthemofthestarspangledbannerMaster-thief？Sellthematadollarapieceandfetchdownthemarketforthegenuinehundred-dollarbond？WhatcouldIdowiththat20-centcopyof“RoughingIt“whichtheUnitedStateshascollaredontheborderandiswaitingtoreleasetomeforcashincaseIamwillingtocomedowntoitsmorallevelandhelprobmyself？Sellitattenorfifteencents——dutyadded——anddestroythemarketfortheoriginal$3，50book？Whoeverdidinventthatlaw？I wouldliketoknowthenameofthatimmortaljackass。 Dearsir，Iappreciateyourcourtesyinstretchingyourauthorityinthedesiretodomeakindness，andIsincerelythankyouforit。ButIhavenouseforthatbook；andifIwereevenstarvingforitIwouldnotpaydutyonineithertogetitorsuppressit。NodoubttherearewaysinwhichImightconsenttogointopartnershipwiththievesandfences，butthisisnotoneofthem。Thisonerevoltstheremainsofmyself- respect；turnsmystomach。IthinkIcouldcompanionwithahighwaymanwhocarriedashot-gunandtookmanyrisks；yes，IthinkIshouldlikethatifIwereyounger；buttogoinwithabigrichgovernmentthatrobspaupers，andthewidowsandorphansofpaupersandtakesnorisk——whythethoughtjustgagsme。 Oh，no，Ishallneverpayanydutiesonpiratedbooksofmine。Iammuchtoorespectableforthat——yetawhile。Buthere——onethingthatgrovelsmeisthis：asfarasIcandiscover——whilefreelygrantingthattheU。S。copyrightlawsarefarandawaythemostidioticthatexistanywhereonthefaceoftheearth——theydon”tauthorizethegovernmenttoadmitpiratedbooksintothiscountry，tollornotoll。AndsoIthinkthatthatregulationistheinventionofoneofthosepeople——asarule，earlystrickenofGod，intellectually——thedepartmentalinterpretersofthelaws，inWashington。Theycanalwaysbedependedontotakeanyreasonablygoodlawandinterpretthecommonsensealloutofit。Theycanbedependedon，everytime，todefeatagoodlaw，andmakeitinoperative——yes，andutterlygrotesque，too，merematterforlaughterandderision。TakesomeofthedecisionsofthePost-officeDepartment，forinstance——thoughIdonotmeantosuggestthatthatasylumisanyworsethantheothersforthebreedingandnourishingofincrediblelunatics——Imerelyinstanceitbecauseithappenstobethefirsttocomeintomymind。TakethatcaseofafewyearsagowheretheP。M。GeneralsuddenlyissuedanedictrequiringyoutoaddthenameoftheStateafterBoston，NewYork，Chicago，&c，inyoursuperscriptions，onpainofhavingyourletterstoppedandforwardedtothedead-letteroffice；yes，andI believeherequiredthecounty，too。HemadeonelittleconcessioninfavorofNewYork：youcouldsay“NewYorkCity，“andstopthere；butifyouleftoffthe“city，“youmustadd“N。Y。”toyour“NewYork。”Why，itthrewthebusinessofthewholecountryintochaosandbroughtcommercealmosttoastand-still。Nowthinkofthat！Whenthatmangoesto——to——well，whereverheisgoingto——weshan”twantthemicroscopicdetailsofhisaddress。Iguesswecanfindhim。 Well，asIwassaying，IbelievethatthiswholepaltryandridiculousswindleisapurecreationofoneofthosecabbagesthatusedtobeattheheadofoneofthoseRetreatsdownthere——Departments，youknow——andthatyouwillfinditso，ifyouwilllookintoit。Andmoreover——butland，Ireckonwearebothtiredbythistime。 TrulyYours，MARKTWAIN。 XXVII MISCELLANEOUSLETTERSOF1887。LITERARYARTICLES。PEACEFULDAYSATTHE FARM。FAVORITEREADING。APOLOGYTOMRS。CLEVELAND，ETC。 WehaveseenintheprecedingchapterhowunknownaspirantsinonefieldoranotherwerealwaysseekingtobenefitbyMarkTwain”sreputation。 Onceheremarked，“Thesymbolofthehumanraceoughttobeanax；everyhumanbeinghasoneconcealedabouthimsomewhere。”Hedeclaredwhenastrangercalledonhim，orwrotetohim，inninecasesoutoftenhecoulddistinguishthegleamoftheaxalmostimmediately。Thefollowingletteriscloselyrelatedtothoseoftheforegoingchapter，onlythatthisonewasmailed——notonce，butmanytimes，insomeformadaptedtothespecificapplicant。Itdoesnotmattertowhomitwasoriginallywritten，thenamewouldnotberecognized。 ToMrs。T。Concerningunearnedcredentials，etc。 HARTFORD，1887。 MYDEARMADAM，——Itisanideawhichmanypeoplehavehad，butitisofnovalue。Ihaveseenittriedoutmanyandmanyatime。IhaveseenaladylecturerurgedandurgeduponthepublicinalavishlycomplimentarydocumentsignedbyLongfellow，Whittier，Holmesandsomeothersofsupremecelebrity，but——therewasnothinginherandshefailed。Iftherehadbeenanygreatmeritinhersheneverwouldhaveneededthosemen”shelpand(atherrathermatureage，)wouldneverhaveconsentedtoaskforit。 Thereisanunwrittenlawabouthumansuccesses，andyoursistermustbowtothatlaw，shemustsubmittoitsrequirements。Inbriefthislawis： 1。Nooccupationwithoutanapprenticeship。 2。Nopaytotheapprentice。 ThislawstandsrightinthewayofthesubalternwhowantstobeaGeneralbeforehehassmeltpowder；anditstands(andshouldstand)ineverybody”swaywhoappliesforpayorpositionbeforehehasservedhisapprenticeshipandprovedhimself。Yoursister”scourseisperfectlyplain。LetherenclosethislettertoMaj。J。B。Pond，andoffertolectureayearfor$10aweekandherexpenses，thecontracttobeannullablebyhimatanytime，afteramonth”snotice，butnotannullablebyheratall。Thesecondyear，hetohaveherservices，ifhewantsthem，atatrifleunderthebestpriceofferedherbyanybodyelse。 Shecanlearnhertradeinthosetwoyears，andthenbeentitledtoremuneration——butshecannotlearnitinanylesstimethanthat，unlesssheisahumanmiracle。 Tryit，anddonotbeafraid。Itisthefairandrightthing。Ifshewins，shewillwinsquarelyandrighteously，andneverhavetoblush。 Trulyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。 Howellswrote，inFebruary，offeringtogetapublishertotaketheLibraryofHumoroffMarkTwain”shands。Howellshadbeenpaidtwenty-sixhundreddollarsfortheworkonit，andhisconsciencehurthimwhenhereflectedthatthebookmightneverbeused。InthisletterhealsoreferstooneofthedisastrousinventionsinwhichClemenshadinvested——amethodofcastingbrassdiesforstampingbook-coversandwall-paper。Howells”spurposewastointroducesomethingofthematterintohisnextstory。MarkTwain”sreplygivesusalightonthisparticularinvention。 HARTFORD，Feb。15，”87。 DEARHOWELLS，——IwasinNewYorkfivedaysago，andWebstermentionedtheLibrary，andproposedtopublishitayearorayearandhalfhence。 Ihavewrittenhimyourpropositionto-day。(TheLibraryispartofthepropertyoftheC。L。W。&Co。firm。) Idon”trememberwhatthattechnicalphrasewas，butIthinkyouwillfinditinanyCyclopediaundertheheadof“Brass。”ThethingIbestrememberis，thattheself-styled“inventor“hadaveryingeniouswayofkeepingmefromseeinghimapplyhisinvention：thefirstappointmentwasspoiledbyhisburningdowntheman”sshopinwhichitwastobedone，thenightbefore；thesecondwasspoiledbyhisburningdownhisownshopthenightbefore。Heunquestionablydidbothofthesethings。Hereallyhadnoinvention；thewholeprojectwasablackmailingswindle，andcostmeseveralthousanddollars。 TheslipyousentmefromtheMay“Study“hasdelightedMrs。Clemensandmetothemarrow。Tothinkthatthingmightbepossibletomany；buttobebraveenoughtosayitispossibletoyouonly，Icertainlybelieve。 ThelongerIlivetheclearerIperceivehowunmatchable，howunapproachable，acomplimentonepayswhenhesaysofaman“hehasthecourage(toutter)hisconvictions。”Haven”tyouhadreviewerstalkAlpstoyou，andthenprintpotatohills？ Ihaven”tasgoodanopinionofmyworkasyouholdofit，butI”vealwaysdonewhatIcouldtosecureandenlargemygoodopinionofit。 I”vealwayssaidtomyself，“Everybodyreadsitandthat”ssomething——itsurelyisn”tpernicious，orthemostacceptablepeoplewouldgetprettytiredofit。”Andwhenacriticsaidbyimplicationthatitwasn”thighandfine，throughtheremark“Highandfineliteratureiswine“I retorted(confidentially，tomyself，)“yes，highandfineliteratureiswine，andmineisonlywater；buteverybodylikeswater。” Youdidn”ttellmetoreturnthatproof-slip，soIhavepasteditintomyprivatescrap-book。Nonewillseeitthere。Withathousandthanks。 YsEverMARK。 Ournextletterisanunmailedanswer，butitdoesnotbelongwiththeothers，havingbeenwithheldforreasonsofquiteadifferentsort。JeanetteGilder，thenoftheCritic，wasoneofMarkTwain”svaluedfriends。Inthecommentwhichhemade，whenitwasshowntohimtwenty-twoyearslater，hetellsuswhyhethinksthisletterwasnotsent。Thename，“Rest-and-be-Thankful，“wastheofficialtitlegiventothesummerplaceatElmira，butitwasmoreoftenknownas“QuarryFarm。” ToJeannetteGilder(notmailed)： HARTFORD，May14，”87。 MYDEARMISSGILDER，——Weshallspendthesummeratthesameoldplace-theremotefarmcalled“Rest-and-be-Thankful，“ontopofthehillsthreemilesfromElmira，N。Y。Yourotherquestionishardertoanswer。Itismyhabittokeepfourorfivebooksinprocessoferectionallthetime，andeverysummeraddafewcoursesofbrickstotwoorthreeofthem；butIcannotforecastwhichofthetwoorthreeitisgoingtobe。Ittakessevenyearstocompleteabookbythismethod，butstillitisagoodmethod：givesthepublicarest。Ihavebeenaccusedof“rushingintoprint“prematurely，movedtheretobygreedinessformoney；butintruthIhaveneverdonethat。Doyoucarefortriflesofinformation？(Well，then，“TomSawyer“and“ThePrinceandthePauper“wereeachonthestockstwoorthreeyears，and“OldTimesontheMississippi“eight。 Oneofmyunfinishedbookshasbeenonthestockssixteenyears；anotherseventeen。Thislatterbookcouldhavebeenfinishedinaday，atanytimeduringthepastfiveyears。ButasinthefirstofthesetwonarrativesalltheactiontakesplaceinNoah”sark，andasintheothertheactiontakesplaceinheaven，thereseemedtobenohurry，andsoI havenothurried。Talesofstirringadventureinthoselocalitiesdonotneedtoberushedtopublicationlesttheygetstalebywaiting。Intwenty-oneyears，withallmytimeatmyfreedisposalIhavewrittenandcompletedonlyelevenbooks，whereaswithhalfthelaborthatajournalistdoesIcouldhavewrittensixtyinthattime。Idonotgreatlymindbeingaccusedofaproclivityforrushingintoprint，butatthesametimeIdon”tbelievethatthechargeisreallywellfounded。 SupposeIdidwriteelevenbooks，haveyounothingtobegratefulfor？ Goto——remembertheforty-ninewhichIdidn”twrite。 TrulyYoursS。L。CLEMENS。 Notes(addedtwenty-twoyearslater)： Stormfield，April30，1909。Itseemstheletterwasnotsent。I probablyfearedshemightprintit，andIcouldn”tfindawaytosaysowithoutrunningariskofhurtingher。NoonewouldhurtJeannetteGilderpurposely，andnoonewouldwanttoruntheriskofdoingitunintentionally。Sheismyneighbor，sixmilesaway，now，andImustaskheraboutthisancientletter。 InotewithprideandpleasurethatItoldnountruthsinmyunsentanswer。Istillhavethehabitofkeepingunfinishedbookslyingaroundyearsandyears，waiting。Ihavefourorfivenovelsonhandatpresentinahalf-finishedcondition，anditismorethanthreeyearssinceI havelookedatanyofthem。Ihavenointentionoffinishingthem。 Icouldcompletealloftheminlessthanayear，iftheimpulseshouldcomepowerfullyuponme：Long，longagomoney-necessityfurnishedthatimpulseonce，(“FollowingtheEquator“)，butmeredesireformoneyhasneverfurnishedit，sofarasIremember。Notevenmoney-necessitywasabletoovercomemeonacoupleofoccasionswhenperhapsIoughttohaveallowedittosucceed。WhileIwasabankruptandindebttwooffersweremademeforweeklyliterarycontributionstocontinueduringayear，andtheywouldhavemadeadebtlessmanofme，butIdeclinedthem，withmywife”sfullapproval，forIhadknownofnoinstancewhereamanhadpumpedhimselfoutonceaweekandfailedtorun“emptyings“beforetheyearwasfinished。 Astothat“Noah”sArk“book，IbeganitinEdinburghin1873；——[Thisisnotquitecorrect。The“Noah”sArk“bookwasbeguninBuffaloin1870。] Idon”tknowwherethemanuscriptisnow。ItwasaDiary，whichprofessedtobetheworkofShem，butwasn”t。Ibeganitagainseveralmonthsago，butonlyforrecreation；Ihadn”tanyintentionofcarryingittoafinish——oreventotheendofthefirstchapter，infact。 Astothebookwhoseaction“takesplaceinHeaven。”Thatwasasmallthing，(“CaptainStormfield”sVisittoHeaven。”)Itlayinmypigeon- holes40years，thenItookitoutandprinteditinHarper”sMonthlylastyear。 S。L。C。 Inthenextletterwegetaprettyandpeacefulpictureof“Rest-and-be- Thankful。”ThesewereMarkTwain”sbalmydays。Thefinancialdrainofthetype-machinewasheavybutnotyetexhausting，andtheprospectofvastreturnsfromitseemedtogrowbrightereachday。Hispublishingbusiness，thoughlessprofitable，wasstillprosperous，hisfamilylifewasideal。Howgratefully，then，hecouldenterintothepeaceofthat“perfectday。” ToMrs。OrionClemens，inKeokuk，Ia。： ONTHEHILLNEARELMIRA，July10，”87。 DEARMOLLIE，——ThisisasuperbSundayforweather——verycloudy，andthethermometeraslowas65。Thecityinthevalleyispurplewithshade，asseenfromuphereatthestudy。TheCranesarereadingandloafinginthecanvas-curtainedsummer-house50yardsawayonahigher(thehighest) point；thecatsareloafingoverat“Ellerslie“whichisthechildren”sestateanddwellinghouseintheirownprivategrounds(bydeedfromSusieCrane)ahundredyardsfromthestudy，amongstthecloverandyoungoaksandwillows。Livyisdownatthehouse，butIshallnowgoandbringheruptotheCranestohelpusoccupytheloungesandhammocks——whenceagreatpanoramaofdistanthillandvalleyandcityisseeable。Thechildrenhavegoneonalarkthroughtheneighboringhillsandwoods。 Itisaperfectdayindeed。 Withlovetoyouall。 SAM。 Twodaysafterthisletterwaswrittenwegetahintofwhatwasthebeginningofbusinesstrouble——thatistosay，ofthefailinghealthofCharlesL。Webster。Websterwasambitious，nervous，andnotrobust。 Hehadoverworkedandwaspayingthepenalty。Histroublewasneurasthenia，andhewaspresentlyobligedtoretirealtogetherfromthebusiness。The“SamandMary“mentionedwereSamuelMoffetandhiswife。 ToMrs。PamelaMoffett，inFredonia，N。Y。 ELMIRA，July12，”87 MYDEARSISTER，——IhadnoideathatCharley”scasewassoserious。 Iknewitwasbad，andpersistent，butIwasnotawareofthefullsizeofthematter。 IhavejustbeenwritingtoafriendinHartford”whotreatedwhatI imaginewasasimilarcasesurgicallylastfall，andproducedapermanentcure。Ifthisisalikecase，Charleymustgotohim。 Ifrelieffailsthere，hemusttaketherequiredrest，whetherthebusinesscanstanditornot。 ItismostpleasanttohearsuchprosperousaccountsofSamandMary，IdonotseehowSamcouldwellbemoreadvantageouslyfixed。Hecangrowupwiththatpaper，andachieveasuccessfullife。 ItisnotallholidayherewithSusieandClarathistime。Theyhavetoputinsomelittletimeeverydayontheirstudies。Jeanthinkssheisstudyingtoo，butIdon”tknowwhatitisunlessitisthehorses；shespendsthedayundertheirheelsinthestables——andthatisbutacontinuationofherHartfordsystemofculture。 Withlovefromusalltoyouall。 AffectionatelySAM。 MarkTwainhadafewbooksthathereadregularlyeveryyearortwo。 Amongthesewere”Pepys”sDiary”，Suetonius”s”LivesoftheTwelveCaesars”，andThomasCarlyle”s”FrenchRevolution”。Hehadapassionforhistory，biography，andpersonalmemoirsofanysort。Inhisearlylifehehadcaredverylittleforpoetry，butalonginthemiddleeightieshesomehowacquiredatasteforBrowningandbecameabsorbedinit。 ABrowningclubassembledasoftenasonceaweekattheClemenshomeinHartfordtolistentohisreadingsofthemaster。Hewasanimpressivereader，andhecarefullypreparedhimselffortheseoccasions，indicatingbygraduatedunderscorings，theexactvalueshewishedtogivetowordsandphrases。Thosewerememorablegatherings，andtheymusthavecontinuedthroughatleasttwowinters。ItisoneofthepuzzlingphasesofMarkTwain”scharacterthat，notwithstandinghispassionfordirectandlucidexpression，heshouldhavefoundpleasureinthepoemsofRobertBrowning。 ToW。D。Howells，inBoston： ELMIRA，Aug。22，”87。 MYDEARHOWELLS，——Howstunningarethechangeswhichagemakesinamanwhilehesleeps。WhenIfinishedCarlyle”sFrenchRevolutionin1871，IwasaGirondin；everytimeIhavereaditsince，Ihavereaditdifferentlybeinginfluencedandchanged，littlebylittle，bylifeandenvironment(andTaineandSt。Simon)：andnowIlaythebookdownoncemore，andrecognizethatIamaSansculotte！——Andnotapale，characterlessSansculotte，butaMarat。Carlyleteachesnosuchgospelsothechangeisinme——inmyvisionoftheevidences。 PeoplepretendthattheBiblemeansthesametothemat50thatitdidatallformermilestonesintheirjourney。Iwonderhowtheycanlieso。 Itcomesofpractice，nodoubt。TheywouldnotsaythatofDickens”sorScott”sbooks。Nothingremainsthesame。Whenamangoesbacktolookatthehouseofhischildhood，ithasalwaysshrunk：thereisnoinstanceofsuchahousebeingasbigasthepictureinmemoryandimaginationcallfor。Shrunkhow？Why，toitscorrectdimensions：thehousehasn”taltered；thisisthefirsttimeithasbeeninfocus。 Well，that”sloss。TohavehouseandBibleshrinkso，underthedisillusioningcorrectedangle，isloss-foramoment。Buttherearecompensations。Youtiltthetubeskywardandbringplanetsandcometsandcoronaflamesahundredandfiftythousandmileshighintothefield。 WhichIseeyouhavedone，andfoundTolstoi。Ihaven”tgothiminfocusyet，butI”vegotBrowning…… YsEverMARK。 MentionhasbeenmadealreadyofMarkTwain”stendencytoabsentmindedness。Hewasalwaysforgettingengagements，orgettingthemwrong。Oncehehurriedtoanafternoonparty，andfindingthemistressofthehousealone，satdownandtalkedtohercomfortablyforanhourortwo，notrememberinghiserrandatall。Itwasonlywhenhereachedhomethathelearnedthatthepartyhadtakenplacetheweekbefore。Itwasalwaysdangerousforhimtomakeengagements，andheneverseemedtoprofitbysorrowfulexperience。 We，however，mayprofitnowbyoneofhisamusingapologies。