IdonotthinkthereisanythingdeservingthenameofsocietytobefoundoutofLondon；andthatforthetwofollowingreasons。First，thereis_neighbourhood_elsewhere，accidentalorunavoidableacquaintance：peoplearethrowntogetherbychanceorgrowtogetherliketrees；butyoucanpickyoursocietynowherebutinLondon。Theverypersonsthatofallothersyouwouldwishtoassociatewithinalmosteverylineoflife(oratleastofintellectualpursuit)aretobemetwiththere。Itishardifoutofamillionofpeopleyoucannotfindhalfadozentoyourliking。Individualsmayseemlostandhidinthesizeoftheplace；butinfact，fromthisverycircumstance，youarewithintwoorthreemiles”reachofpersonsthat，withoutit，youwouldbesomehundredsapartfrom。Secondly，Londonistheonlyplaceinwhicheachindividualincompanyistreatedaccordingtohisvalueincompany，andtothatonly。Ineveryotherpartofthekingdomhecarriesanothercharacteraboutwithhim，whichsupersedestheintellectualorsocialone。ItisknowninManchesterorLiverpoolwhateverymanintheroomisworthinlandormoney；whatarehisconnectionsandprospectsinlife——andthisgivesacharacterofservilityorarrogance，ofmercenariesorimpertinencetothewholeofprovincialintercourse。Youlaughnotinproportiontoaman”swit，buthiswealth；youhavetoconsidernotwhat，butwhomyoucontradict。Youspeakbythepound，andareheardbytherood。Inthemetropolisthereisneithertimenorinclinationfortheseremotecalculations。Everymandependsonthequantityofsense，wit，orgoodmannershebringsintosocietyforthereceptionhemeetswithinit。AMemberofParliamentsoonfindshislevelasacommoner：themerchantandmanufacturercannotbringhisgoodstomarkethere：thegreatlandedproprietorshrinksfrombeingthelordofacresintoapleasantcompanionoradullfellow。Whenavisitorentersorleavesaroom，itisnotinquiredwhetherheisrichorpoor，whetherhelivesinagarretorapalace，orcomesinhisownorahackneycoach，butwhetherhehasagoodexpressionofcountenance，withanunaffectedmanner，andwhetherheisamanofunderstandingorablockhead。Thesearethecircumstancesbywhichyoumakeafavourableimpressiononthecompany，andbywhichtheyestimateyouintheabstract。Inthecountry，theyconsiderwhetheryouhaveavoteatthenextelectionoraplaceinyourgift，andmeasurethecapacityofotherstoinstructorentertainthembythestrengthoftheirpocketsandtheircreditwiththeirbanker。
Personalmeritisataprodigiousdiscountintheprovinces。IlikethecountryverywellifIwanttoenjoymyowncompany；butLondonistheonlyplaceforequalsociety，orwhereamancansayagoodthingorexpressanhonestopinionwithoutsubjectinghimselftobeinginsulted，unlesshefirstlayshispurseonthetabletobackhispretensionstotalentorindependenceofspirit。Ispeakfromexperience。[5]
NOTEStoESSAYIV。
[1]ItisnotverylongagothatIsawtwoDissentingMinisters(the_UltimaThud_ofthesanguine，visionarytemperamentinpolitics)
stuffingtheirpipeswithdriedcurrant-leaves，callingitRadicalTobacco，lightingitwithalensintheraysofthesun，andateverypufffancyingthattheyunderminedtheBoroughmongers，asTrimblewupthearmyopposedtotheAllies！Theyhad_deceivedtheSenate。_
MethinksIseethemnow，smilingasinscornofCorruption。
Dreamon，blestpair：
Yethappierifyouknewyourhappiness，Andknewtoknownomore！
TheworldofReformthatyoudoteon，likeBerkeley”smaterialworld，livesonlyinyourownbrain，andlongmayitlivethere！ThosesameDissentingMinistersthroughoutthecountry(ImeanthedescendantsoftheoldPuritans)aretothishourasortofFifth-monarchymen：veryturbulentfellows，inmyopinionaltogetherincorrigible，andaccordingtothesuggestionsofothers，shouldbehangedoutofthewaywithoutjudgeorjuryforthesafetyofchurchandstate。Marry，hangthem！
theymaybelefttodieanaturaldeath：theraceisnearlyextinctofitself，andcandolittlemoregoodorharm！
[2]William，ourwaiter，isdressedneatlyinblack，takesintheTICKLER(whichmanyofthegentlemenliketolookinto)，wears，Iamtold，adiamondpininhisshirt-collar，hasamusic-mastertoteachhimtoplayontheflageolettwohoursbeforethemaidsareup，complainsofconfinementandadelicateconstitution，andisacompleteMasterStepheninhisway。
[3]HisaccountofDr。Whittlewasprodigious-ofhisoccultsagacity，ofhiseyesprominentandwildlikeahare”s，fugaciousoffollowers，oftheartsbywhichhehadlefttheCitytolurethepatientsthathewantedafterhimtotheWestEnd，oftheounceofteathathepurchasedbystratagemasanunusualtreattohisguest，andofthenarrowwindingstaircase，fromtheheightofwhichhecontemplatedinsecuritytheimaginaryapproachofduns。Hewasalarge，plain，fair-facedMoravianpreacher，turnedphysician。Hewasanhonestman，butvainofheknewnotwhat。HewasoncesittingwhereSarrattwasplayingagameatchesswithoutseeingtheboard；andafterremainingforsometimeabsorbedinsilentwonder，heturnedsuddenlytomeandsaid，”Doyouknow，Mr。
Hazlitt，thatIthinkthereissomethingIcoulddo？””Well，whatisthat？””Why，perhapsyouwouldnotguess，butIthinkIcoulddance，I”msureIcould；ay，IcoulddancelikeVestris！”Sarratt，whowasamanofvariousaccomplishments(amongothersoneoftheFancy)，afterwardsbaredhisarmtoconvinceusofhismuscularstrength，andMrs。Sarrattgoingoutoftheroomwithanotherladysaid，”Doyouknow，Madam，theDoctorisagreatjumper！”Molierecouldnotoutdothis。
NevershallIforgethispullingoffhiscoattoeatbeef-steaksonequaltermswithMartinBurney。Lifeisshort，butfullofmirthandpastime，didwenotsosoonforgetwhatwehavelaughedat，perhapsthatwemaynotrememberwhatwehavecriedat！Sarratt，thechess-player，wasanextraordinaryman。Hehadthesametenacious，epilepticfacultyinotherthingsthathehadatchess，andcouldnomoregetanyotherideasoutofhismindthanhecouldthoseofthefiguresontheboard。
Hewasagreatreader，buthadnottheleasttaste。Indeedtheviolenceofhismemorytyrannisedoveranddestroyedallpowerofselection。Hecouldrepeat[all]Ossianbyheart，withoutknowingthebestpassagefromtheworst；anddidnotperceivehewastiringyoutodeathbygivinganaccountofthebreed，education，andmannersoffighting-dogsforhourstogether。Thesenseofrealityquitesupersededthedistinctionbetweenthepleasurableandthepainful。Hewasaltogetheramechanicalphilosopher。
[4]Ilsnepouvoientcroirequ”uncorpsdecettebeautefutdequelquechoseauvisagedeMademoiselleChurchill。”——_MemoiresdeGrammont，_
vol。ii。p。254。
[5]WhenIwasyoungIspentagooddealofmytimeatManchesterandLiverpool；andIconfessIgivethepreferencetotheformer。Thereyouwereoppressedonlybythearistocracyofwealth；inthelatterbythearistocracyofwealthandlettersbyturns。Youcouldnothelpfeelingthatsomeoftheirgreatmenwereauthorsamongmerchantsandmerchantsamongauthors。Theirbreadwasbutteredonbothsides，andtheyhadyouatadisadvantageeitherway。TheManchestercotton-spinners，onthecontrary，setupnopretensionsbeyondtheirlooms，wereheartygoodfellows，andtookanyinformationordisplayofingenuityonothersubjectsingoodpart。IrememberwellbeingintroducedtoadistinguishedpatronofartandrisingmeritatalittledistancefromLiverpool，andwasreceivedwitheverymarkofattentionandpoliteness；
till，theconversationturningonltalianliterature，ourhostremarkedthattherewasnothingintheEnglishlanguagecorrespondingtotheseverityoftheItalianode——exceptperhapsDryden”s_Alexander”sFeast_
andPope”s_St。Cecilia！_Icouldnolongercontainmydesiretodisplaymysmatteringincriticism，andbegantomaintainthatPope”sOdewas，asitappearedtome，farfromanexampleofseverityinwriting。IsoonperceivedwhatIhaddone，buthereamIwriting_Table-talks_inconsequence。Alas！IknewaslittleoftheworldthenasIdonow。Inevercouldunderstandanythingbeyondanabstractdefinition。
ESSAYV
ONTHEARISTOCRACYOFLETTERS
Ha！here”sthreeofusaresophisticated：——off，youlendings。
Thereissuchathingasanaristocracyorprivilegedorderinletterswhichhassometimesexcitedmywonder，andsometimesmyspleen。Wemeetwithauthorswhohaveneverdoneanything，butwhohaveavastreputationforwhattheycouldhavedone。Theirnamesstandhigh，andareineverybody”smouth，buttheirworksareneverheardof，orhadbetterremainundiscoveredforthesakeoftheiradmirers——_Statnominisumbra_——theirpretensionsareloftyandunlimited，astheyhavenothingtorestupon，orbecauseitisimpossibletoconfrontthemwiththeproofsoftheirdeficiency。Ifyouinquirefarther，andinsistuponsomeactofauthorshiptoestablishtheclaimsoftheseEpicureanvotariesoftheMuses，youfindthattheyhadagreatreputationatCambridge，thattheywereseniorwranglersorsuccessfulprize-essayists，thattheyvisitatHollandHouse，and，tosupportthathonour，mustbesupposed，ofcourse，tooccupythefirstrankintheworldofletters。[1]Itispossible，however，thattheyhavesomemanuscriptworkinhand，whichisoftoomuchimportance(andthewriterhastoomuchatstakeinpublishingit)hastilytoseethelight：orperhapstheyoncehadanarticleintheEdinburghReview，whichwasmuchadmiredatthetime，andiskeptbythemeversinceasakindofdiplomaandunquestionabletestimonialofmerit。TheyarenotlikeGrubStreetauthors，whowriteforbread，andarepaidbythesheet。Likemiserswhohoardtheirwealth，theyaresupposedtobemastersofallthewitandsensetheydonotimparttothepublic。”Continentshavemostofwhattheycontain”saysaconsiderablephilosopher；andthesepersons，itmustbeconfessed，haveaprodigiouscommandoverthemselvesintheexpenditureoflightandlearning。TheOrientalcurse，”0thatmineenemyhadwrittenabook！”hangssuspendedoverthem。Bynevercommittingthemselves，theyneithergiveahandletothemaliceoftheworld，norexcitethejealousyoffriends；andkeepallthereputationtheyhavegot，notbydiscreetlyblotting，butbyneverwritingaline。
SomeonetoldSheridan，whowasalwaysbusyaboutsomenewworkandneveradvancinganyfartherinit，thathewouldnotwritebecausehewasafraidoftheauthorofthe_SchoolforScandal。_Sotheseidlepretendersareafraidofundergoingacomparisonwiththemselvesinsomethingtheyhaveneverdone，buthavehadcreditfordoing。Theydonotacquirecelebrity，theyassumeit；andescapedetectionbyneverventuringoutoftheirimposingandmysteriousincognito。Theydonotletthemselvesdownbyeverydaywork：forthemtoappearinprintisaworkofsupererogationasmuchasinlordsandkings；andlikegentlemenwithalargelandedestate，theyliveontheirestablishedcharacter，anddonothing(oraslittleaspossible)toincreaseorloseit。Thereisnotamoredeliberatepieceofgraveimposturegoing。Iknowapersonofthisdescriptionwhohasbeenemployedmanyyears(byimplication)inatranslationofThucydides，ofwhichnooneeversawaword，butitdoesnotanswerthepurposeofbolsteringupafactitiousreputationthelessonthataccount。Thelongeritisdelayedandkeptsacredfromthevulgargaze，themoreitswellsintoimaginaryconsequence；thelabourandcarerequiredforaworkofthiskindbeingimmense；——andthentherearenofaultsinanunexecutedtranslation。
Theonlyimpeccablewritersarethosethatneverwrote。Anotherisanoracleonsubjectsoftasteandclassicalerudition，because(hesaysatleast)hereadsCiceroonceayeartokeepupthepurityofhisLatinity。Athirdmakestheindecencypassforthedepthofhisresearchesandforahighgustoin_virtu，_till，fromhisseeingnothinginthefinestremainsofancientart，theworldbythemerestaccidentfindoutthatthereisnothinginhim。Thereisscarcelyanythingthatagravefacewithanimpenetrablemannerwillnotaccomplish，andwhoeverisweakenoughtoimposeuponhimselfwillhavewitenoughtoimposeuponthepublic——particularlyifhecanmakeittheirinteresttobedeceivedbyshallowboasting，andcontrivesnottohurttheirself-lovebysterlingacquirements。DoyousupposethattheunderstoodtranslationofThucydidescostsitssupposedauthornothing？
Aselectpartyoffriendsandadmirersdinewithhimonceaweekatamagnificenttownmansion，oramoreelegantandpicturesqueretreatinthecountry。TheybroachtheirHoraceandtheiroldhock，andsometimesalludewithaconsiderabledegreeofcandourtothedefectsofworkswhicharebroughtoutbycontemporarywriters——theephemeraloffspringofhasteandnecessity！
Amongotherthings，thelearnedlanguagesareareadypassporttothissortofunmeaning，unanalysedreputation。Theypresentlyliftamanupamongthecelestialconstellations，thesignsofthezodiac(asitwere)
andthirdheavenofinspiration，fromwhencehelooksdownonthosewhoaretoilingoninthislowersphere，andearningtheirbreadbythesweatoftheirbrain，atleisureandinscorn。IfthegraduatesinthiswaycondescendtoexpresstheirthoughtsinEnglish，itisunderstoodtobe_infradignitatem_——suchlightandunaccustomedessaysdonotfittheponderousgravityoftheirpen——theyonlydrawtoadvantageandwithfulljusticetothemselvesinthebowoftheancients。Theirnativetongueistothemstrange，inelegant，unapt，andcrude。They”cannotcommandittoanyutteranceofharmony。Theyhavenottheskill。”Thisistrueenough；butyoumustnotsayso，underaheavypenalty——thedispleasureofpedantsandblockheads。Itwouldbesacrilegeagainsttheprivilegedclasses，theAristocracyofLetters。What！willyouaffirmthataprofoundLatinscholar，aperfectGrecian，cannotwriteapageofcommonsenseorgrammar？Isitnottobepresumed，byallthechartersoftheUniversitiesandthefoundationsofgrammar-schools，thathewhocanspeakadeadlanguagemustbe_afortiori_conversantwithhisown？Surelythegreaterimpliestheless。Hewhoknowseveryscienceandeveryartcannotbeignorantofthemostfamiliarformsofspeech。Orifthispleaisfoundnottoholdwater，thenourscholasticbunglerissaidtobeabovethisvulgartrialofskill，”somethingmustbeexcusedtowantofpractice——butdidyounotobservetheeleganceoftheLatinity，howwellthatperiodwouldbecomeaclassicalandstudieddress？”Thusdefectsare”monster”d”intoexcellences，andtheyscreentheiridol，andrequireyou，atyourperil，topayprescriptivehomagetofalseconcordsandinconsequentialcriticisms，becausethewriterofthemhasthecharacterofthefirstorsecondGreekorLatinscholarinthekingdom。Ifyoudonotsweartothetruthofthesespuriouscredentials，youareignorantandmalicious，aquackandascribbler——_flagrantidelicto！_Thusthemanwhocanmerelyreadandconstruesomeoldauthorisofaclasssuperiortoanylivingone，and，byparityofreasoning，tothoseoldauthorsthemselves：thepoetorprose-writeroftrueandoriginalgenius，bythecourtesyofcustom，”duckstothelearnedfool”；or，astheauthorof_Hudibras_hassowellstatedthesamething——
HethatisbutabletoexpressNosenseatallinseverallanguages，Willpassforlearnederthanhethat”sknownTospeakthestrongestreasoninhisown。
Thesepreposterousandunfoundedclaimsofmerescholarstoprecedenceinthecommonwealthofletterswhichtheysetupsoformallythemselvesandwhichotherssoreadilybowto，arepartlyowingtotraditionalprejudice：therewasatimewhenlearningwastheonlydistinctionfromignorance，andwhentherewasnosuchthingaspopularEnglishliterature。Again，thereissomethingmorepalpableandpositiveinthiskindofacquiredknowledge，likeacquiredwealth，whichthevulgareasilyrecognise。Thatothersknowthemeaningofsignswhichtheyareconfessedlyandaltogetherignorantofistothembothamatteroffactandasubjectofendlesswonder。Thelanguagesarewornlikeadressbyaman，anddistinguishhimsoonerthanhisnaturalfigure；andweare，frommotivesofself-love，inclinedtogiveotherscreditfortheideastheyhaveborrowedorhavecomeintoindirectpossessionof，ratherthanforthosethatoriginallybelongtothemandareexclusivelytheirown。
Themeritinthemandtheimpliedinferiorityinourselvesisless。
Learningisakindofexternalappendageortransferableproperty——”Twasmine，”tishis，andmaybeanyman”s。
Geniusandunderstandingareaman”sself，anintegrantpartofhispersonalidentity；andthetitletotheselast，asitisthemostdifficulttobeascertained，isalsothemostgrudginglyacknowledged。
FewpersonswouldpretendtodenythatPorsonhadmoreGreekthanthey；
itwasaquestionoffactwhichmightbeputtotheimmediateproof，andcouldnotbegainsaid；butthemeanestfrequenteroftheCiderCellarortheHoleintheWallwouldbeinclined，inhisownconceit，todisputethepalmofwitorsensewithhim，andindemnifyhisself-complacencyfortheadmirationpaidtolivinglearningbysignificanthintstofriendsandcasualdroppers-in，thatthegreatestmen，whenyoucametoknowthem，werenotwithouttheirweaksidesaswellasothers。
Pedants，Iwilladdhere，talktothevulgaraspedagoguestalktoschoolboys，onanunderstoodprincipleofcondescensionandsuperiority，andthereforemakelittleprogressintheknowledgeofmenorthings。
Whiletheyfancytheyareaccommodatingthemselvesto，orelseassumingairsofimportanceover，inferiorcapacities，theseinferiorcapacitiesarereallylaughingatthem。Therecanbenotruesuperioritybutwhatarisesoutofthepresupposedgroundofequality：therecanbenoimprovementbutfromthefreecommunicationandcomparingofideas。
Kingsandnobles，forthisreason，receivelittlebenefitfromsociety——whereallissubmissionononeside，andcondescensionontheother。Themindstrikesouttruthbycollision，assteelstrikesfirefromtheflint！
Therearewholefamilieswhoarebornclassical，andareenteredintheheralds”collegeofreputationbytherightofconsanguinity。
Literature，likenobility，runsintheblood。ThereistheBurneyfamily。Thereisnoendofitoritspretensions。Itproduceswits，scholars，novelists，musicians，artistsin”numbersnumberless。”ThenameisaloneapassporttotheTempleofFame。ThosewhobearitarefreeofParnassusbybirthright。Thefounderofitwashimselfanhistorianandamusician，butmoreofacourtierandmanoftheworldthaneither。Thesecretofhissuccessmayperhapsbediscoveredinthefollowingpassage，where，inalludingtothreeeminentperformersondifferentinstruments，hesays：”ThesethreeillustriouspersonageswereintroducedattheEmperor”scourt”etc。；speakingofthemasiftheywereforeignambassadorsorprincesoftheblood，andthusmagnifyinghimselfandhisprofession。Thisovershadowingmannercarriesnearlyeverythingbeforeit，andmystifiesagreatmany。Thereisnothinglikeputtingthebestfaceuponthings，andleavingotherstofindoutthedifference。Hewhocouldcallthreemusicians”personages”wouldhimselfplayapersonagethroughlife，andsucceedinhisleadingobject。SirJoshuaReynolds，remarkingonthispassage，said：”Noonehadagreaterrespectthanhehadforhisprofession，butthatheshouldneverthinkofapplyingtoitepithetsthatwereappropriatedmerelytoexternalrankanddistinction。”Madamed”Arblay，itmustbeowned，hadclevernessenoughtostockawholefamily，andtosetuphercousin-germans，maleandfemale，forwitsandvirtuosostothethirdandfourthgeneration。Theresthavedonenothing，thatIknowof，butkeepupthename。
Themostcelebratedauthorinmoderntimeshaswrittenwithoutaname，andhasbeenknightedforanonymousproductions。LordByroncomplainsthatHoraceWalpolewasnotproperlyappreciated，”first，becausehewasagentleman；andsecondly，becausehewasanobleman。”HisLordshipstandsinone，atleast，ofthepredicamentsherementioned，andyethehashadjustice，orsomewhatmore，donehim。Hetowersabovehisfellowsbyalltheheightofthepeerage。Ifthepoetlendsagracetothenobleman，thenoblemanpaysitbacktothepoetwithinterest。Whatafineadditionistenthousandayearandatitletotheflauntingpretensionsofamodernrhapsodist！Hisnamesoaccompaniedbecomesthemouthwell：itisrepeatedthousandsoftimes，insteadofhundreds，becausethereaderinbeingfamiliarwiththePoet”sworksseemstoclaimacquaintancewiththeLord。
Letbutalordonceownthehappylines：
Howthewitbrightens，andthestylerefines！
Hesmilesatthehigh-flownpraiseorpettycavilsoflittlemen。Doeshemakeaslipindecorum，whichMiltondeclarestobetheprincipalthing？Hisproudcrestandarmorialbearingssupporthim：nobend-sinisterslurshispoeticalescutcheon！Ishedull，ordoesheputofsometrashyproductiononthepublic？Itisnotchargedtohisaccount，asadeficiencywhichhemustmakegoodattheperilofhisadmirers。HisLordshipisnotanswerableforthenegligenceorextravagancesofhisMuse。He”bearsacharmedreputation，whichmustnotyield”likeoneofvulgarbirth。TheNobleBardisforthisreasonscarcelyvulnerabletothecritics。Thedoublebarrierofhispretensionsbafflestheirpuny，timidefforts。Stripoffsomeofhistarnishedlaurels，andthecoronetappearsglitteringbeneath：restorethem，anditstillshinesthroughwithkeenerlustre。Infact，hisLordship”sblazeofreputationculminatesfromhisrankandplaceinsociety。Hesustainstwoloftyandimposingcharacters；andinordertosimplifytheprocessofouradmiration，and”leavenorubsorbotchesintheway”weequalisehispretensions，andtakeitforgrantedthathemustbeassuperiortoothermeningeniusasheisinbirth。Or，togiveamorefamiliarsolutionoftheenigma，thePoetandthePeeragreetohonoureachother”sacceptancesonthebankofFame，andsometimescozenthetowntosometunebetweenthem。Really，however，andwithallhisprivileges，LordByronmightaswellnothavewrittenthatstrangeletteraboutPope。Icouldnotaffordit，poorasIam。Whydoeshepronounce，_excathedra_androbed，thatCowperisnopoet？Cowperwasagentlemanandofnoblefamilylikehiscritic。Hewasateacherofmoralityaswellasadescriberofnature，whichismorethanhisLordshipis。His_JohnGilpin_willlastaslongas_Beppo，_andhisversestoMaryarenotlesstouchingthanthe_Farewell。_IfIhadventureduponsuchanassertionasthis，itwouldhavebeenworseformethanfindingoutaborrowedlineinthe_PleasuresofHope。_
Thereisnotamorehelplessormoredespisedanimalthanamereauthor，withoutanyextrinsicadvantagesofbirth，breeding，orfortunetosethimoff。Therealoreoftalentsorlearningmustbestampedbeforeitwillpasscurrent。Tobeatalllookeduponasanauthor，amanmustbesomethingmoreorlessthananauthor——arichmerchant，abanker，alord，oraploughman。Heisadmiredforsomethingforeigntohimself，thatactsasabribetotheservilityoraset-offtotheenvyofthecommunity。”Whatshouldsuchfellowsaswedo，crawlingbetwixtheavenandearth”；——”coiningourheartsfordrachmas”；nowscorchedinthesun，nowshiveringinthebreeze，nowcomingoutinournewestglossandbestattire，likeswallowsinthespring，now”sentbacklikehollowmasorshortestday”？Thebestwits，likethehandsomestfaces_uponthetown，_leadaharassing，precariouslife——aretakenupforthebudandpromiseoftalent，whichtheynosoonerfulfilthantheyarethrownasidelikeanoldfashion——arecaressedwithoutreason，andinsultedwithimpunity——aresubjecttoallthecaprice，themalice，andfulsomeadvancesofthatgreatkeeper，thePublic——andintheendcometonogood，likeallthosewholavishtheirfavoursonmankindatlarge，andlooktothegratitudeoftheworldfortheirreward。InsteadofthissetofGrubStreetauthors，themere_canaille_ofletters，thiscorporationofMendicity，thisraggedregimentofgeniussuingatthecornersofstreetsin_formapauperis，_givemethegentlemanandscholar，withagoodhouseoverhisheadandahandsometable”withwineofAttictaste”toaskhisfriendsto，andwherewantandsorrownevercome。Fillupthesparklingbowl；heaphighthedessertwithrosescrowned；bringoutthehot-pressedpoem，thevellummanuscripts，themedals，theportfolios，theintaglios——thisisthetruemodelofthelifeofamanoftasteand_virtu_——thepossessors，nottheinventorsofthesethings，arethetruebenefactorsofmankindandornamentsofletters。Lookin，andthere，amidstsilverservicesandshiningchandeliers，youwillseethemanofgeniusathisproperpost，pickinghisteethandmincinganopinion，shelteredbyrank，bowingtowealth——apoetframed，glazed，andhunginastrikinglight；notastragglingweed，tornandtrampledon；notapoor_Kit-run-the-street，_butapowderedbeau，asycophantplant，anexoticrearedinaglasscase，hermeticallysealed，FreefromtheSirianstarandthedreadthunder-strokewhosemealycoatnomothcancorruptnorblightcanwither。ThepoetKeatshadnotthissortofprotectionforhisperson——helaybaretoweather——theserpentstunghim，andthepoison-treedroppeduponthislittlewesternflower：whenthemercenaryservilecrewapproachedhim，hehadnopedigreetoshowthem，norent-rolltoholdoutinreversionfortheirpraise：hewasnotinanygreatman”strain，northebuttandpuppetofalord——hecouldonlyofferthem”thefairestflowersoftheseason，carnationsandstreakedgilliflowers”——”rueforremembranceandpansiesforthoughts”——theyreckednotofhisgift，buttorehimwithhideousshoutsandlaughter，NorcouldtheMuseprotectherson！
Unlessanauthorhasallestablishmentofhisown，orisenteredonthatofsomeotherperson，hewillhardlybeallowedtowriteEnglishortospellhisownname。Tobewellspokenof，hemustenlistundersomestandard；hemustbelongtosome_coterie。_Hemustgetthe_espritdecorps_onhisside：hemusthaveliterarybailinreadiness。Thustheypropuponeanother”sricketyheadsatMurray”sshop，andaspuriousreputation，likefalseargument，runsinacircle。CrokeraffirmsthatGiffordissprightly，andGiffordthatCrokerisgenteel；DisraelithatJacobiswise，andJacobthatDisraeliisgood-natured。AMemberofParliamentmustbeanswerablethatyouarenotdangerousordullbeforeyoucanbeofthe_entree。_Youmustcommencetoad-eatertohaveyourobservationsattendedto；ifyouareindependent，unconnected，youwillberegardedasapoorcreature。Youropinionishonest，youwillsay；
thententooneitisnotprofitable。Itisatanyrateyourown。Somuchtheworse；forthenitisnottheworld”s。TomHillisaverytolerablebarometerinthisrespect。Heknowsnothing，hearseverything，andrepeatsjustwhathehears；sothatyoumayguessprettywellfromthisround-facedechowhatissaidbyothers！Almosteverythinggoesbypresumptionandappearances。”DidyounotthinkMr。
B——”slanguageveryelegant？”——Ithoughthebowedverylow。”Didyounotthinkhimremarkablywell-behaved？”——Hewasunexceptionablydressed。”ButwerenotMr。C——”smannersquiteinsinuating？”——Hesaidnothing。”Youwillatleastallowhisfriendtobeawell-informedman。”——Hetalkeduponallsubjectsalike。Suchwouldbeaprettyfaithfulinterpretationofthetoneofwhatiscalled_goodsociety。_Thesurfaceiseverything；wedonotpiercetothecore。Thesettingismorevaluablethanthejewel。Isitnotsoinotherthingsaswellasletters？IsnotanR。A。bythesuppositionagreatermaninhisprofessionthananyonewhoisnotsoblazoned？Comparedwiththatunrivalledlist，Raphaelhadbeenillegitimate，Claudenotclassical，andMichaelAngeloadmittedbyspecialfavour。Whatisaphysicianwithoutadiploma？Analdermanwithoutbeingknighted？Anactorwhosenamedoesnotappearingreatletters？Allothersarecounterfeits——men”ofnomarkorlikelihood。”ThiswaswhatmadetheJackalsoftheNorthsoeagertoprovethatIhadbeenturnedoutofthe_EdinburghReview。_
Itwasnotthemeritofthearticleswhichexcitedtheirspleen——buttheirbeingthere。Ofthestyletheyknewnothing；forthethoughttheycarednothing：allthattheyknewwasthatIwroteinthatpowerfuljournal，andthereforetheyassertedthatIdidnot！
Wefindaclassofpersonswholabourunderanobviousnaturalinaptitudeforwhatevertheyaspireto。Theirmannerofsettingaboutitisavirtualdisqualification。Thesimpleaffirmation，”Whatthismanhassaid，Iwilldo”isnotalwaysconsideredasthepropertestofcapacity。Onthecontrary，therearepeoplewhosebarepretensionsareasgoodorbetterthantheactualperformanceofothers。WhatImyselfhavedone，forinstance，IneverfindadmittedasproofofwhatIshallbeabletodo：whereasIobserveotherswhobringasproofoftheircompetencetoanytask(andaretakenattheirword)whattheyhaveneverdone，andwhogravelyassurethosewhoareinclinedtotrustthemthattheirtalentsareexactlyfittedforsomepostbecausetheyarejustthereverseofwhattheyhaveevershownthemtobe。OnemanhastheairofanEditorasmuchasanotherhasthatofabutlerorporterinagentleman”sfamily——isthemodelofthischaracter，withaprodigiouslookofbusiness，anairofsuspicionwhichpassesforsagacity，andanairofdeliberationwhichpassesforjudgment。Ifhisowntalentsarenowaysprominent，itisinferredhewillbemoreimpartialandinearnestinmakinguseofthoseofothers。ThereisBritton，theresponsibleconductorofseveralworksoftasteanderudition，yet(Godknows)withoutanideainhisheadrelatingtoanyoneofthem。Heislearnedbyproxy，andsuccessfulfromsheerimbecility。Ifheweretogetthesmallestsmatteringofthedepartmentswhichareunderhiscontrol，hewouldbetrayhimselffromhisdesiretoshine；butasitis，heleavesotherstodoallthedrudgeryforhim。Hesignshisnameinthetitle-pageoratthebottomofavignette，andnobodysuspectsanymistake。Thiscontractorforusefulandornamentalliteratureonceofferedmetwoguineasfora_LifeandCharacterofShakespear，_withanadmissiontohis_converzationi。_
Iwentonce。Therewasacollectionoflearnedlumber，ofantiquaries，lexicographers，andother”illustriousobscure”andIhadgivenupthedayforlost，whenindroppedJackTaylorofthe_Sun_——(whowoulddaretodenythathewas”theSunofourtable”？)——andIhadnothingnowtodobuthearandlaugh。Mr。Taylorknowsmostofthegoodthingsthathavebeensaidinthemetropolisforthelastthirtyyears，andisinparticularanexcellentretailerofthehumoursandextravagancesofhisoldfriendPeterPindar。Hehadrecountedaseriesofthem，eachrisingabovetheotherinasortofmagnificentburlesqueandwantofliteralpreciseness，toamedleyoflaughingandsourfaces，whenonhisproceedingtostateajokeofapracticalnaturebythesaidPeter，aMr——(Iforgetthename)objectedtothemoralofthestory，andtothewholetextureofMr。Taylor”sfacetiae——uponwhichourhost，whohadtillnowsupposedthatallwasgoingonswimmingly，thoughtittimetointerfereandgiveaturntotheconversationbysaying，”Why，yes，gentlemen，whatwehavehithertoheardfallfromthelipsofourfriendhasbeennodoubtentertainingandhighlyagreeableinitsway；butperhapswehavehadenoughofwhatisaltogetherdelightfulandpleasantandlightandlaughableinconduct。Suppose，therefore，weweretoshiftthesubject，andtalkofwhatisseriousandmoralandindustriousandlaudableincharacter——LetustalkofMr。TomkinsthePenman！”——Thisstaggeredthegravestofus，brokeupourdinner-party，andwewentupstairstotea。Somuchforthedidacticveinofoneofourprincipalguidesintheembellishedwalksofmoderntaste，andmastermanufacturersofletters。Hehadfoundthatgravityhadbeenanever-failingresourcewhentakenatapinch——foroncethejokemiscarried——andMr。TomkinsthePenmanfigurestothisdaynowherebutinSirJoshua”spictureofhim！
TocompletethenaturalAristocracyofLetters，weonlywantaRoyalSocietyofAuthors！
NOTEStoESSAYV
[1]LordHollandhadmadeadiary(inthemannerofBoswell)oftheconversationheldathishouse，andreaditattheendofaweek_probonopublico。_SirJamesMackintoshmadeaconsiderablefigureinit，andacelebratedpoetnoneatall，merelyansweringYesandNo。Withthisresulthewasbynomeanssatisfied，andtalkedincessantlyfromthatdayforward。Attheendoftheweekheasked，withsomeanxietyandtriumph，IfhisLordshiphadcontinuedhisdiary，expectinghimselftoshinein”thefirstrowoftherubric。”TowhichhisNoblePatronansweredinthenegative，withanintimationthatithadnotappearedtohimworthwhile。Ourpoetwasthusthrownagainintothebackground，andSirJamesremainedmasterofthefield！
ESSAYVI
ONCRITICISM
Criticismisanartthatundergoesagreatvarietyofchanges，andaimsatdifferentobjectsatdifferenttimes。
Atfirst，itisgenerallysatisfiedtogiveanopinionwhetheraworkisgoodorbad，andtoquoteapassageortwoinsupportofthisopinion：
afterwards，itisboundtoassignthereasonsofitsdecisionandtoanalysesupposedbeautiesordefectswithmicroscopicminuteness。A
criticdoesnothingnowadayswhodoesnottrytotorturethemostobviousexpressionintoathousandmeanings，andenterintoacircuitousexplanationofallthatcanbeurgedfororagainstitsbeinginthebestorworststylepossible。Hisobjectindeedisnottodojusticetohisauthor，whomhetreatswithverylittleceremony，buttodohimselfhomage，andtoshowhisacquaintancewithallthetopicsandresourcesofcriticism。Ifherecurstothestipulatedsubjectintheend，itisnottillafterhehasexhaustedhisbudgetofgeneralknowledge；andheestablisheshisownclaimsfirstinanelaborateinauguraldissertation_deomniscibileetquibusdamaliis，_beforehedeignstobringforwardthepretensionsoftheoriginalcandidateforpraise，whoisonlythesecondfigureinthepiece。Wemaysometimesseearticlesofthissort，inwhichnoallusionwhateverismadetotheworkundersentenceofdeath，afterthefirstannouncementofthetitle-page；andIapprehenditwouldbeaclearimprovementonthisspeciesofnominalcriticismtogivestatedperiodicalaccountsofworksthathadneverappearedatall，whichwouldsavethehaplessauthorthemortificationofwriting，andhisreviewerthetroubleofreadingthem。Iftherealauthorismadeofsolittleaccountbythemoderncritic，heisscarcelymoreanobjectofregardtothemodernreader；anditmustbeconfessedthatafteradozenclose-packedpagesofsubtlemetaphysicaldistinctionorsolemndidacticdeclamation，inwhichthedisembodiedprinciplesofallartsandsciencesfloatbeforetheimaginationinundefinedprofusion，theeyeturnswithimpatienceandindifferencetotheimperfectembryospecimensofthem，andthehopelessattemptstorealisethissplendidjargoninonepoorworkbyonepoorauthor，whichisgivenuptosummaryexecutionwithaslittlejusticeaspity。”Aswhenawell-gracedactorleavesthestage，men”seyesareidlybentonhimthatentersnext”——soitishere。
Whetherthisstateofthepressisnotaseriousabuseandaviolentencroachmentintherepublicofletters，ismorethanIshallpretendtodetermine。Thetruthis，thatinthequantityofworksthatissuefromthepress，itisutterlyimpossibletheyshouldallbereadbyallsortsofpeople。Theremustbe_tasters_forthepublic，whomusthaveadiscretionarypowervestedinthem，forwhichitisdifficulttomakethemproperlyaccountable。Authorsinproportiontotheirnumbersbecomenotformidable，butdespicable。Theywouldnotbeheardoforseveredfromthecrowdwithoutthecritic”said，andallcomplaintsofill-treatmentarevain。Heconsidersthemaspensionersonhisbountyforanypittanceorpraise，andingeneralsetsthemupasbuttsforhiswitandspleen，orusesthemasastalking-horsetoconveyhisownfavouritenotionsandopinions，whichhecandobythismeanswithoutthepossibilityofcensureorappeal。Helooksuponhisliterary_protege_(muchasPeterPouncelookeduponParsonAdams)asakindofhumblecompanionorunnecessaryinterloperinthevehicleoffame，whomhehastakenuppurelytoobligehim，andwhomhemaytreatwithneglectorinsult，orsetdowninthecommonfootpath，wheneveritsuitshishumourorconvenience。Henaturallygrowsarbitrarywiththeexerciseofpower。Hebydegreeswantstohaveaclearstagetohimself，andwouldbethoughttohavepurchasedamonopolyofwit，learning，andwisdom——
Assumestherod，affectstheGod，Andseemstoshakethespheres。
Besides，somethingofthisoverbearingmannergoesagreatwaywiththepublic。Theycannotexactlytellwhetheryouarerightorwrong；andifyoustateyourdifficultiesorpaymuchdeferencetothesentimentsofothers，theywillthinkyouaverysillyfelloworamerepretender。A
sweeping，unqualifiedassertionendsallcontroversy，andsetsopinionatrest。Asharp，sententious，cavalier，dogmaticaltoneisthereforenecessary，eveninself-defence，totheofficeofareviewer。Ifyoudonotdeliveryouroracleswithouthesitation，howaretheworldtoreceivethemontrustandwithoutinquiry？Peoplereadtohavesomethingtotalkabout，and”toseemtoknowthatwhichtheydonot。”
Consequently，therecannotbetoomuchdialecticsanddebatablematter，toomuchpompandparadox，inareview。_Toelevateandsurprise_isthegreatruleforproducingadramaticorcriticaleffect。Themoreyoustartlethereader，themorehewillbeabletostartleotherswithasuccessionofsmartintellectualshocks。ThemostadmiredofourReviewsissaturatedwiththissortofelectricalmatter，whichisregularlyplayedoffsoastoproduceagooddealofastonishmentandastrongsensationinthepublicmind。Theintrinsicmeritsofanauthorareaquestionofverysubordinateconsiderationtothekeepingupthecharacteroftheworkandsupplyingthetownwithasufficientnumberofgraveorbrillianttopicsfortheconsumptionofthenextthreemonths！
Thisdecidedandparamounttoneincriticismisthegrowthofthepresentcentury，andwasnotatallthefashioninthatcalm，peaceableperiodwhenthe_MonthlyReview_bore”solesovereignswayandmasterdom”overallliteraryproductions。Thoughnothingcanbesaidagainsttherespectabilityorusefulnessofthatpublicationduringitslongandalmostexclusiveenjoymentofthepublicfavour，yetthestyleofcriticismadoptedinitissuchastoappearslightandunsatisfactorytoamodernreader。Thewriters，insteadof”outdoingtermagantorout-HerodingHerod”weresomewhatpreciseandprudish，gentlealmosttoafault，fullofcandourandmodesty，Andoftheirportasmeekasisamaid！[1]
TherewasnoneofthatDrawcansirworkgoingonthenthatthereisnow；
noscalpingofauthors，nohackingandhewingoftheirLivesandOpinions，exceptthattheyusedthoseofTristramShandy，gent。，ratherscurvily；whichwastobeexpected。All，however，hadashowofcourtesyandgoodmanners。Thesatirewascovertandartfullyinsinuated；thepraisewasshortandsweet。Wemeetwithnooraculartheories；noprofoundanalysisofprinciples；nounsparingexposureoftheleastdiscernibledeviationfromthem。Itwasdeemedsufficienttorecommendtheworkingeneralterms，”Thisisanagreeablevolume”or”Thisisaworkofgreatlearningandresearch”tosetforththetitleandtableofcontents，andproceedwithoutfartherprefacetosomeappropriateextracts，forthemostpartconcurringinopinionwiththeauthor”stext，butnowandtheninterposinganobjectiontomaintainappearancesandassertthejurisdictionofthecourt。Thiscursorymannerofhintingapprobationordissentwouldmakebutalamefigureatpresent。Wemusthavenotonlyanannouncementthat”Thisisanagreeableorablework”；butwemusthaveitexplainedatfulllength，andsoastosilenceallcavillers，inwhattheagreeablenessorabilityoftheworkconsists：theauthormustbereducedtoaclass，allthelivingordefunctexamplesofwhichmustbecharacteristicallyandpointedly_differenced_fromoneanother；thevalueofthisclassofwritingmustbedevelopedandascertainedincomparisonwithothers；theprinciplesoftaste，theelementsofoursensations，thestructureofthehumanfaculties，allmustundergoastrictscrutinyandrevision。
Themodernormetaphysicalsystemofcriticism，inshort，supposesthequestion，_Why？_toberepeatedattheendofeverydecision；andtheanswergivesbirthtointerminableargumentsanddiscussion。Theformerlaconicmodewaswelladaptedtoguidethosewhomerelywantedtobeinformedofthecharacterandsubjectofaworkinordertoreadit：thepresentismoreusefultothosewhoseobjectislesstoreadtheworkthantodisputeuponitsmerits，andgointocompanycladinthewholedefensiveandoffensivearmourofcriticism。
Neitherarewelessremovedatpresentfromthedryandmeagremodeofdissectingtheskeletonsofworks，insteadoftransfusingtheirlivingprinciples，whichprevailedinDryden”sPrefaces，[2]andinthecriticismswrittenonthemodeloftheFrenchschoolaboutacenturyago。Agenuinecriticismshould，asItakeit，reflectthecolours，thelightandshade，thesoulandbodyofawork：herewehavenothingbutitssuperficialplanandelevation，asifapoemwereapieceofformalarchitecture。Wearetoldsomethingoftheplotorfable，ofthemoral，andoftheobservanceorviolationofthethreeunitiesoftime，place，andaction；andperhapsawordortwoisaddedonthedignityofthepersonsorthebaldnessofthestyle；butwenomoreknow，afterreadingoneofthesecomplacent_tirades，_whattheessenceoftheworkis，whatpassionhasbeentouched，orhowskilfully，whattoneandmovementtheauthor”smindimpartstohissubjectorreceivesfromit，thanifwehadbeenreadingahomilyoragazette。Thatis，weareleftquiteinthedarkastothefeelingsofpleasureorpaintobederivedfromthegeniusoftheperformanceorthemannerinwhichitappealstotheimagination：weknowtoanicetyhowitsquareswiththethreadbarerulesofcomposition，notintheleasthowitaffectstheprinciplesoftaste。Weknoweverythingaboutthework，andnothingofit。Thecritictakesgoodcarenottobaulkthereader”sfancybyanticipatingtheeffectwhichtheauthorhasaimedatproducing。Tobesure，theworkssohandledwereoftenworthyoftheircommentators；theyhadtheformofimaginationwithoutthelifeorpower；andwhenanyonehadgoneregularlythroughthenumberofactsintowhichtheyweredivided，themeasureinwhichtheywerewritten，orthestoryonwhichtheywerefounded，therewaslittleelsetobesaidaboutthem。Itiscurioustoobservetheeffectwhichthe_ParadiseLost_hadonthisclassofcritics，likethrowingatubtoawhale：theycouldmakenothingofit。”Itwasoutofallplumb——notoneoftheanglesatthefourcornerswasarightangle！”Theydidnotseekfor，norwouldtheymuchrelish，themarrowofpoetryitcontained。Likepolemicsinreligion，theyhaddiscardedtheessentialsoffinewritingfortheoutwardformandpointsofcontroversy。TheywereatissuewithGeniusandNaturebywhatrouteandinwhatgarbtheyshouldentertheTempleoftheMuses。AccordinglywefindthatDrydenhadnootherwayofsatisfyinghimselfofthepretensionsofMiltonintheepicstylebutbytranslatinghisanomalousworkintorhymeanddramaticdialogue。[3]Sothereareconnoisseurswhogiveyouthesubject，thegrouping，theperspective，andallthemechanicalcircumstancesofapicture；buttheyneversayawordabouttheexpression。Thereasonis，theyseetheformer，butnotthelatter。
Therearepersons，however，whocannotemploythemselvesbetterthanintakinganinventoryofworksofart(theywantafacultyforhigherstudies)，asthereareworksofart，socalled，whichseemedtohavebeencomposedexpresslywithaneyetosuchaclassofconnoisseurs。Inthemaretobefoundnoreconditenamelessbeautiesthrownawayuponthestupidvulgargaze；no”gracessnatchedbeyondthereachofart”；
nothingbutwhatthemerestpretendermaynotedowningoodsettermsinhiscommon-placebook，justasitisbeforehim。Placeoneofthesehalf-informed，imperfectlyorganisedspectatorsbeforeatallcanvaswithgroupsongroupsoffigures，ofthesizeoflife，andengagedinacomplicatedaction，ofwhichtheyknowthenameandalltheparticulars，andtherearenoboundstotheirburstofinvoluntaryenthusiasm。TheymountonthestiltsofthesubjectandascendthehighestHeavenofInvention，fromwhencetheyseesightsandhearrevelationswhichtheycommunicatewithallthefervourofplenaryexplanationtothosewhomaybedisposedtoattendtotheirraptures。Theyfloatwithwingsexpandedinloftycircles，theystalkoverthecanvasatlargestrides，nevercondescendingtopauseatanythingoflessmagnitudethanagrouporacolossalfigure。Thefaceformsnopartoftheircollectiveinquiries；
orsothatitoccupiesonlyasixthoraneighthproportiontothewholebody，allisaccordingtothereceivedrulesofcomposition。PointtoadivineportraitofTitian，toanangelicheadofGuido，closeby——theyseeandheeditnot。Whatarethe”lookscommercingwiththeskies”
thesoulspeakingintheface，tothem？Itasksanotherandaninnersensetocomprehendthem；butforthetrigonometryofpainting，naturehasconstitutedthemindifferentlywell。Theytakeastandonthedistinctionbetweenportraitandhistory，andtheretheyarespell-bound。Tellthemthattherecanbenofinehistorywithoutportraiture，thatthepaintermustproceedfromthatgroundtotheoneaboveit，andthatahundredbadheadscannotmakeonegoodhistoricalpicture，andtheywillnotbelieveyou，thoughthethingisobvioustoanygrosscapacity。Theirideasalwaysflytothecircumference，andneverfixatthecentre。Artmustbeonagrandscale；accordingtothem，thewholeisgreaterthanapart，andthegreaternecessarilyimpliestheless。Theoutlineis，inthisviewofthematter，thesamethingasthefilling-up，and”thelimbsandflourishesofadiscourse”
thesubstance。Again，thesamepersonsmakeanabsolutedistinction，withoutknowingwhy，betweenhighandlowsubjects。SaythatyouwouldassoonhaveMurillo”sTwoBeggarBoysattheDulwichGalleryasalmostanypictureintheworld，thatis，thatitwouldbeoneyouwouldchooseoutoften(hadyouthechoice)，andtheyreiterateuponyouthatsurelyalowsubjectcannotbeofequalvaluewithahighone。Itisinvainthatyouturntothepicture：theykeeptotheclass。Theyhaveeyes，butseenot；and，upontheirprinciplesofrefinedtaste，wouldbejustasgoodjudgesofthemeritofthepicturewithoutseeingitaswiththatsupposedadvantage。Theyknowwhatthesubjectis_fromthecatalogue！_——Yetitisnottrue，asLordByronasserts，thatexecutioniseverything，andtheclassorsubjectnothing。Thehighestsubjects，equallywellexecuted(which，however，rarelyhappens)，arethebest。
Butthepowerofexecution，themannerofseeingnature，isonething，andmaybesosuperlative(ifyouareonlyabletojudgeofit)astocountervaileverydisadvantageofsubject。Raphael”sstorksintheMiraculousDraughtofFishes，exultingintheevent，arefinerthantheheadofChristwouldhavebeeninalmostanyotherhands。Thecantofcriticismisontheothersideofthequestion；becauseexecutiondependsonvariousdegreesofpowerintheartist，andaknowledgeofitonvariousdegreesoffeelinganddiscriminationinyou；buttocommenceartistorconnoisseurinthegrandstyleatonce，withoutanydistinctionofqualificationswhatever，itisonlynecessaryforthefirsttochoosehissubjectandforthelasttopinhisfaithonthesublimityoftheperformance，forbothtolookdownwithineffablecontemptonthepaintersandadmirersofsubjectsoflowlife。I
rememberayoungScotchmanoncetryingtoprovetomethatMrs。DickonswasasuperiorsingertoMissStephens，becausetheformerexcelledinsacredmusicandthelatterdidnot。Atthatrate，thatis，ifitisthesingingsacredmusicthatgivesthepreference，MissStephenswouldonlyhavetosingsacredmusictosurpassherselfandviewithherpretendedrival；forthistheoryimpliesthatallsacredmusicisequallygood，and，therefore，betterthananyother。IgrantthatMadameCatalani”ssingingofsacredmusicissuperiortoMissStephens”sballad-strains，becausehersingingisbetteraltogether，andanoceanofsoundmorewonderfulthanasimplestreamofdulcetharmonies。Insingingthelastverseof”GodSavetheKing”notlongagohervoicetoweredabovethewholeconfusednoiseoftheorchestralikeaneaglepiercingtheclouds，andpoured”suchsweetthunder”throughtheearasexcitedequalastonishmentandrapture！
Somekindsofcriticismareasmuchtooinsipidasothersaretoopragmatical。Itisnoteasytocombinepointwithsolidity，spiritwithmoderationandcandour。Manypersonsseenothingbutbeautiesinawork，othersnothingbutdefects。Thosecloyyouwithsweets，andare”theverymilkofhumankindness”flowingoninastreamoflusciouspanegyrics；thesetakedelightinpoisoningthesourcesofyoursatisfaction，andputtingyououtofconceitwithnearlyeveryauthorthatcomesintheirway。Thefirstarefrequentlyactuatedbypersonalfriendship，thelastbyallthevirulenceofpartyspirit。Underthelatterheadwouldfallwhatmaybetermed_politicalcriticism。_Thebasisofthisstyleofwritingisa_caputmortuum_ofimpotentspiteanddulness，tillitisvarnishedoverwiththeslimeofservility，andthrownintoastateofunnaturalactivitybythevenomofthemostrancorousbigotry。Theeminentprofessorsinthisgrovellingdepartmentareatfirstmerelyoutofsortswiththemselves，andventtheirspleeninlittleinterjectionsandcontortionsofphrase——cry_Pish_ataluckyhit，and_Hem_atafault，aresmartonpersonaldefects，andsneerat”Beautyoutoffavourandoncrutches”——arethrownintoanague-fitbyhearingthenameofarival，startbackwithhorroratanyapproachtotheirmorbidpretensions，likeJusticeWoodcockwithhisgoutylimbs——rifletheflowersoftheDellaCruscanschool，andgiveyouintheirstead，asmodelsofapleasingpastoralstyle，VersesuponAnna——whichyoumayseeinthenotestothe_Baviad_and_Maeviad。_Allthisislikethefableof”TheKittenandtheLeaves。”Butwhentheygettheirbrasscollaronandshaketheirbellsofoffice，theysetuptheirbacksliketheGreatCatRodilardus，andpounceuponmenandthings。Woetoanylittleheedessreptileofanauthorthatventuresacrosstheirpathwithoutasafe-conductfromtheBoardofControl。
Theysnaphimupatamouthful，andsitlickingtheirlips，strokingtheirwhiskers，andrattlingtheirbellsovertheimaginaryfragmentsoftheirdevotedprey，tothealarmandastonishmentofthewholebreedofliterary，philosophical，andrevolutionaryverminthatwerenaturalisedinthiscountrybyaPrinceofOrangeandanElectorofHanoverahundredyearsago。[4]Whenoneofthesepampered，sleek，”demure-looking，spring-nailed，velvet-pawed，green-eyed”criticsmakeshisKingandCountrypartiestothissortofsportliterary，youhavenotmuchchanceofescapingoutofhisclutchesinawholeskin。
Treacherybecomesaprinciplewiththem，andmischiefaconscience，thatis，alivelihood。Theynotonly_damn_theworkinthelump，butvilifyandtraducetheauthor，andsubstitutelyingabuseandsheermalignityforsenseandsatire。Tohavewrittenapopularworkisasmuchasaman”scharacterisworth，andsometimeshislife，ifhedoesnothappentobeontherightsideofthequestion。Thewayinwhichtheysetabout_stultifying_anadversaryisnottoaccuseyouoffaults，ortoexaggeratethosewhichyoumayreallyhave，buttheydenythatyouhaveanymeritsatall，leastofallthosethattheworldhavegivenyoucreditfor；blessthemselvesfromunderstandingasinglesentenceinawholevolume；andunlessyouarereadytosubscribetoalltheirarticlesofpeace，willnotallowyoutobequalifiedtowriteyourownname。Itisnotaquestionofliterarydiscussion，butofpoliticalproscription。Itisamarkofloyaltyandpatriotismtoextendnoquartertothoseoftheoppositeparty。Insteadofreplyingtoyourarguments，theycallyounames，putwordsandopinionsintoyourmouthwhichyouhaveneveruttered，andconsideritaspeciesofmisprisionoftreasontoadmitthataWhigauthorknowsanythingofcommonsenseorEnglish。Theonlychanceofputtingastoptothisunfairmodeofdealingwouldperhapsbetomakeafewreprisalsbywayofexample。TheCourtpartyboastsomewriterswhohaveareputationtolose，andwhowouldnotliketohavetheirnamesdraggedthroughthekennelofdirtyabuseandvulgarobloquy。Whatsilencedthemaskedbatteryof_Blackwood”sMagazine_wastheimplicationofthenameofSirWalterScottinsomeremarksuponit——(anhonourofwhichitseemsthatextraordinarypersonwasnotambitious)——tobe”pilloriedoninfamy”shighstage”wasadistinctionandanamusementtotheothergentlemenconcernedinthatpraiseworthypublication。Iwascomplainingnotlongagoofthisprostitutionofliterarycriticismaspeculiartoourowntimes，whenIwastoldthatitwasjustasbadinthetimeofPopeandDryden，andindeedworse，inasmuchaswehavenoPopesorDrydensnowontheobnoxioussidetobenicknamed，metamorphosedintoscarecrows，andimpaledalivebybigotsanddunces。Ishallnotpretendtosayhowfarthisremarkmaybetrue。TheEnglish(itmustbeowned)areratherafoul-mouthednation。
Besidestemporaryoraccidentalbiasesofthiskind，thereseemtobesectsandpartiesintasteandcriticism(withasetofappropriatewatchwords)coevalwiththeartsofcomposition，andthatwilllastaslongasthedifferencewithwhichmen”smindsareoriginallyconstituted。Therearesomewhoareallfortheeleganceofanauthor”sstyle，andsomewhoareequallydelightedwithsimplicity。ThelastreferyoutoSwiftasamodelofEnglishprose，thinkingallotherwriterssophisticatedandnaught；theformerpreferthemoreornamentedandsparklingperiodsofJuniusorGibbon。Itistonopurposetothinkofbringingaboutanunderstandingbetweentheseoppositefactions。Itisanaturaldifferenceoftemperamentandconstitutionofmind。Theonewillneverrelishtheantitheticalpointandperpetualglitteroftheartificialprosestyle；astheplain，unpervertedEnglishidiomwillalwaysappeartriteandinsipidtotheothers。Atoleration，notanuniformityofopinion，isasmuchascanbeexpectedinthiscase；andbothsidesmayacknowledge，withoutimputationontheirtasteorconsistency，thatthesedifferentwritersexcelledeachintheirway。I
mightremarkherethattheepithet_elegant_isverysparinglyusedinmoderncriticism。Ithasprobablygoneoutoffashionwiththeappearanceofthe_LakeSchool，_who，Iapprehend，havenosuchphraseintheirvocabulary。Mr。Rogerswas，Ithink，almostthelastpoettowhomitwasappliedasacharacteristiccompliment。Atpresentitwouldbeconsideredasasortofdiminutiveofthetitleofpoet，liketheterms_pretty_or_fanciful_，andisbanishedfromthe_hautton_ofletters。Itmayperhapscomeintorequestatsomefutureperiod。
Again，thedisputebetweentheadmirersofHomerandVirgilhasneverbeensettledandneverwill，fortherewillalwaysbemindstowhomtheexcellencesofVirgilwillbemorecongenial，andthereforemoreobjectsofadmirationanddelightthanthoseofHomer，and_viceversa。_Botharerightinpreferringwhatsuitsthembest，thedelicacyandselectnessoftheone，orthefulnessandmajesticflowoftheother。
Thereisthesamedifferenceintheirtastesthattherewasinthegeniusoftheirtwofavourites。NeithercanthedisagreementbetweentheFrenchandEnglishschooloftragedyeverbereconciledtilltheFrenchbecomeEnglishortheEnglishFrench。[5]Botharerightinwhattheyadmire，botharewrongincondemningtheothersforwhattheyadmire。WeseethedefectsofRacine，theyseethefaultsofShakespearprobablyinanexaggeratedpointofview。Butwemaybesureofthis，thatwhenweseenothingbutgrossnessandbarbarism，orinsipidityandverbiage，inawriterthatisthegodofanation”sidolatry，itisweandnottheywhowanttruetasteandfeeling。ThecontroversyaboutPopeandtheoppositeschoolinourownpoetrycomestomuchthesamething。Pope”scorrectness，smoothness，etc。，areverygoodthingsandmuchtobecommendedinhim。Butitisnottobeexpectedorevendesiredthatothersshouldhavethesequalitiesinthesameparamountdegree，totheexclusionofeverythingelse。Ifyoulikecorrectnessandsmoothnessofallthingsintheworld，theretheyareforyouinPope。Ifyoulikeotherthingsbetter，suchasstrengthandsublimity，youknowwheretogoforthem。WhytroublePopeoranyotherauthorforwhattheyhavenot，anddonotprofesstogive？ThosewhoseemtoimplythatPopepossessed，besideshisownpeculiar，exquisitemerits，allthatistobefoundinShakespearorMilton，are，Ishouldhardlythink，ingoodearnest。ButIdonotthereforeseethat，becausethiswasnotthecase，Popewasnopoet。Wecannotbyalittleverbalsophistryconfoundthequalitiesofdifferentminds，norforceoppositeexcellencesintoaunionbyalltheintoleranceintheworld。WemaypullPopeinpiecesaslongaswepleasefornotbeingShakespearorMilton，aswemaycarpatthemfornotbeingPope，butthiswillnotmakeapoetequaltoallthree。Ifwehaveatasteforsomeoneprecisestyleormanner，wemaykeepittoourselvesandletothershavetheirs。
Ifwearemorecatholicinournotions，andwantvarietyofexcellenceandbeauty，itisspreadabroadforustoprofusioninthevarietyofbooksandintheseveralgrowthofmen”sminds，fetteredbynocapriciousorarbitraryrules。Thosewhowouldproscribewhateverfallsshortofagivenstandardofimaginaryperfectiondoso，notfromahighercapacityoftasteorrangeofintellectthanothers，buttodestroy，to”cribandcabinin”allenjoymentsandopinionsbuttheirown。
Wefindpeopleofadecidedandoriginal，andothersofamoregeneralandversatiletaste。Ihavesometimesthoughtthatthemostacuteandoriginal-mindedmenmadebadcritics。Theyseeeverythingtoomuchthroughaparticularmedium。Whatdoesnotfallinwiththeirownbiasandmodeofcompositionstrikesthemascommon-placeandfactitious。
Whatdoesnotcomeintothedirectlineoftheirvision，theyregardidly，withvacant，”lack-lustreeye。”Theextremeforceoftheiroriginalimpressions，comparedwiththefeeblenessofthosetheyreceiveatsecond-handfromothers，oversetsthebalanceandjustproportionoftheirminds。Menwhohavefewernativeresources，andareobligedtoapplyoftenertothegeneralstock，acquirebyhabitagreateraptitudeinappreciatingwhattheyowetoothers。Theirtasteisnotmadeasacrificetotheiregotismandvanity，andtheyenrichthesoiloftheirmindswithcontinualaccessionsofborrowedstrengthandbeauty。I
mighttakethisopportunityofobserving，thatthepersonofthemostrefinedandleastcontractedtasteIeverknewwasthelateJosephFawcett，thefriendofmyyouth。HewasalmostthefirstliteraryacquaintanceIevermade，andIthinkthemostcandidandunsophisticated。Hehadamasterlyperceptionofallstylesandofeverykindanddegreeofexcellence，sublimeorbeautiful，fromMilton”s_ParadiseLost_toShenstone”s_PastoralBallad，_fromButler”s_Analogy_downto_HumphreyClinker。_Ifyouhadafavouriteauthor，hehadreadhimtoo，andknewallthebestmorsels，thesubtletraits，thecapitaltouches。”DoyoulikeSterne？””Yes，tobesure”hewouldsay；”IshoulddeservetobehangedifIdidn”t！”Hisrepeatingsomepartsof_Comus_withhisfine，deep，mellow-tonedvoice，particularlythelines，”IhaveheardmymotherCircewiththeSirensthree”etc。，andtheenthusiasticcommentshemadeafterwards，wereafeasttotheearandtothesoul。HereadthepoetryofMiltonwiththesamefervourandspiritofdevotionthatIhavesinceheardothersreadtheirown。”Thatisthemostdeliciousfeelingofall”Ihaveheardhimexplain，”tolikewhatisexcellent，nomatterwhoseitis。”Inthisrespecthepractisedwhathepreached。Hewasincapableofharbouringasinistermotive，andjudgedonlyfromwhathefelt。Therewasnoflawormistintheclearmirrorofhismind。Hewasasopentoimpressionsashewasstrenuousinmaintainingthem。Hedidnotcarearushwhetherawriterwasoldornew，inproseorinverse——”Whathewanted”hesaid，”wassomethingtomakehimthink。”Mostmen”smindsaretomelikemusicalinstrumentsoutoftune。Touchaparticularkey，anditjarsandmakesharshdiscordwithyourown。Theylike_GilBlas，_butcanseenothingtolaughatin_DonQuixote：_theyadoreRichardson，butaredisgustedwithFielding。Fawcetthadatasteaccommodatedtoallthese。Hewasnotexceptious。Hegaveacordialwelcometoallsort，providedtheywerethebestintheirkind。Hewasnotfondofcounterfeitsorduplicates。Hisownstylewaslabouredandartificialtoafault，whilehischaracterwasfrankandingenuousintheextreme。HewasnottheonlyindividualwhomIhaveknowntocounteracttheirnaturaldispositionincomingbeforethepublic，andbyavoidingwhattheyperhapsthoughtaninherentinfirmity，debarthemselvesoftheirrealstrengthandadvantages。AheartierfriendorhonestercriticInevercopedwithal。Hehasmademefeel(bycontrast)thewantofgenuinesincerityandgeneroussentimentinsomethatIhavelistenedtosince，andconvincedme(ifpracticalproofwerewanting)ofthetruthofthattextofScripture——”ThathadIallknowledgeandcouldspeakwiththetonguesofangels，yetwithoutcharityIwerenothing！”Iwouldratherbeamanofdisinterestedtasteandliberalfeeling，toseeandacknowledgetruthandbeautywhereverIfoundit，thanamanofgreaterandmoreoriginalgenius，tohate，envy，anddenyallexcellencebutmyown——butthatpoorscantypittanceofit(comparedwiththewhole)whichIhadmyselfproduced！
Thereisanotherraceofcriticswhomightbedesignatedasthe_OccultSchool_——_vereadepti。_Theydiscernnobeautiesbutwhatareconcealedfromsuperficialeyes，andoverlookallthatareobvioustothevulgarpartofmankind。Theirartisthetransmutationofstyles。Byhappyalchemyofmindtheyconvertdrossintogold——andgoldintotinsel。
Theyseefartherintoamillstonethanmostothers。Ifanauthorisutterlyunreadable，theycanreadhimforever：hisintricaciesaretheirdelight，hismysteriesaretheirstudy。TheypreferSirThomasBrownetothe_Rambler_byDr。Johnson，andBurton”s_AnatomyofMelancholy_toallthewritersoftheGeorgianAge。Theyjudgeofworksofgeniusasmisersdoofhidtreasure——itisofnovalueunlesstheyhaveitalltothemselves。Theywillnomoreshareabookthanamistresswithafriend。Iftheysuspectedtheirfavouritevolumesofdelightinganyeyesbuttheirown，theywouldimmediatelydiscardthemfromthelist。Theirsaresuperannuatedbeautiesthateveryoneelsehasleftoffintriguingwith，bedriddenhags，a”studofnightmares。”
Thisisnotenvyoraffectation，butanaturalpronenesstosingularity，aloveofwhatisoddandoutoftheway。Theymustcomeattheirpleasureswithdifficulty，andsupportadmirationbyanuneasysenseofridiculeandopposition。Theydespisethosequalitiesinaworkwhicharecheapandobvious。Theylikeamonopolyoftasteandareshockedattheprostitutionofintellectimpliedinpopularproductions。Inlikemanner，theywouldchooseafriendorrecommendamistressforgrossdefects；andtoleratethesweetnessofanactress”svoiceonlyfortheuglinessofherface。Purepleasuresareintheirjudgmentcloyingandinsipid——
Anounceofsourisworthapoundofsweet！
Nothinggoesdownwiththembutwhatis_caviare_tothemultitude。
Theyareeatersofolivesandreadersofblack-letter。Yettheysmackofgenius，andwouldbeworthanymoney，wereitonlyfortherarityofthething！
ThelastsortIshallmentionare_verbalcritics_——mereword-catchers，fellowsthatpickoutawordinasentenceandasentenceinavolume，andtellyouitiswrong。[6]Theseeruditepersonsconstantlyfindoutbyanticipationthatyouaredeficientinthesmallestthings——thatyoucannotspellcertainwordsorjointhenominativecaseandtheverbtogether，becausetodothisistheheightoftheirownambition，andofcoursetheymustsetyoudownlowerthantheiropinionofthemselves。
Theydegradebyreducingyoutotheirownstandardofmerit；forthequalificationstheydenyyou，orthefaultstheyobject，aresoveryinsignificant，thattoproveyourselfpossessedoftheoneorfreefromtheotheristomakeyourselfdoublyridiculous。Littlenessistheirelement，andtheygiveacharacterofmeannesstowhatevertheytouch。
Theycreep，buzz，andfly-blow。Itismucheasiertocrushthantocatchthesetroublesomeinsects；andwhentheyareinyourpoweryourself-respectsparesthem。Theraceisalmostextinct：——oneortwoofthemaresometimesseencrawlingoverthepagesofthe_QuarterlyReview！_
NOTEStoESSAYVI
[1]AMr。RoseandtheRev。Dr。Kippiswereformanyyearsitsprincipalsupport。Mrs。Rose(Ihaveheardmyfathersay)contributedtheMonthlyCatalogue。Thereissometimesacertaintartnessandthewoman”stongueinit。ItissaidofGray”s_Elegy_，”Thislittlepoem，howeverhumbleitspretensions，isnotwithouteleganceormerit。”Thecharactersofprophetandcriticarenotalwaysunited。
[2]Therearesomesplendidexceptionstothiscensure。HiscomparisonbetweenOvidandVirgilandhischaracterofShakespeararemasterpiecesoftheirkind。
[3]WehavecriticsInthepresentday[1821]whocannottellwhattomakeofthetragicwritersofQueenElizabeth”sage(exceptShakespear，whopassesbyprescriptiveright)，andareextremelypuzzledtoreducetheeffortsoftheir”greatandirregular”powertothestandardoftheirownslightandshowycommon-places。Thetruthis，theyhadbettergiveuptheattempttoreconcilesuchcontradictionsasanartificialtasteandnaturalgenius；andreposeontheadmirationofverseswhichderivetheirodourfromthescentofroseleavesinsertedbetweenthepages，andtheirpolishfromthesmoothnessofthepaperonwhichtheyareprinted。They，andsuchwritersasDecker，andWebster，BeaumontandFletcher，FordandMarlowe，moveindifferentorbitsofthehumanintellect，andneedneverjostle。
[4]TheintelligentreaderwillbepleasedtounderstandthatthereishereatacitallusiontoSquireWestern”ssignificantphraseof_HanoverRats。_
[5]Ofthetwothelatteralternativeismorelikelytohappen。Weabuseandimitatethem。Theylaughat，butdonotimitateus。
[6]Thetitleof_Ultra-Crepidariancritics_hasbeengiventoavarietyofthisspecies。
ESSAYVII
ONGREATANDLITTLETHINGS
Theselittlethingsaregreattolittleman——Goldsmith。
Thegreatandthelittlehave，nodoubt，arealexistenceinthenatureofthings；buttheybothfindprettymuchthesamelevelinthemindofman。Itisacommonmeasure，whichdoesnotalwaysaccommodateitselftothesizeandimportanceoftheobjectsitrepresents。Ithasacertaininteresttospareforcertainthings(andnomore)accordingtoitshumourandcapacity；andneitherlikestobestintedinitsallowance，nortomusterupanunusualshareofsympathy，justastheoccasionmayrequire。Perhaps，ifwecouldrecollectdistinctly，weshoulddiscoverthatthetwothingsthathaveaffectedusmostinthecourseofourliveshavebeen，oneofthemofthegreatest，andtheotherofthesmallestpossibleconsequence。Toletthatpassastoofineaspeculation，weknowwellenoughthatverytriflingcircumstancesdogiveusgreatanddailyannoyance，andasoftenprovetoomuchforourphilosophyandforbearance，asmattersofthehighestmoment。A
lumpofsootspoilingaman”sdinner，aplateoftoastfallingintheashes，thebeingdisappointedofaribbontoacaporaticketforaball，haveledtoseriousandalmosttragicalconsequences。Friendsnotunfrequentlyfalloutandnevermeetagainforsomeidlemisunderstanding，”sometricknotworthanegg”whohavestoodtheshockofseriousdifferencesofopinionandclashinginterestsinlife；
andthereisanexcellentpaperinthe_Tatler，_toprovethatifamarriedcoupledonotquarrelaboutsomepointinthefirstinstancenotworthcontesting，theywillseldomfindanopportunityafterwardstoquarrelaboutaquestionofrealimportance。Gravedivines，greatstatesmen，anddeepphilosophersareputoutoftheirwaybyverylittlethings：nay，discreet，worthypeople，withoutanypretensionsbuttogood-natureandcommonsense，readilysurrenderthehappinessoftheirwholelivessoonerthangiveupanopiniontowhichtheyhavecommittedthemselves，thoughinalllikelihooditwasthemereturnofafeatherwhichsidetheyshouldtakeintheargument。Itisthebeingbaulkedorthwartedinanythingthatconstitutesthegrievance，theunpardonableaffront，notthevalueofthethingtowhichwehadmadeupourminds。
Isitthatwedespiselittlethings；thatwearenotpreparedforthem；
thattheytakeusinourcareless，unguardedmoments，andteaseusoutofourordinarypatiencebytheirpetty，incessant，insectwarfare，buzzingaboutusandstinginguslikegnats，sothatwecanneithergetridofnorgrapplewiththem；whereaswecollectallourfortitudeandresolutiontomeetevilsofgreatermagnitude？Orisitthatthereisacertainstreamofirritabilitythatiscontinuallyfrettinguponthewheelsoflife，whichfindssufficientfoodtoplaywithinstrawsandfeathers，whilegreatobjectsaretoomuchforit，eitherchokeitup，ordivertitscourseintoseriousandthoughtfulinterest？Someattemptmightbemadetoexplainthisinthefollowingmanner。
Oneisalwaysmorevexedatlosingagameofanysortbyasingleholeoracethanifonehasneverhadachanceofwinningit。Thisisnodoubtinpartorchieflybecausetheprospectofsuccessirritatesthesubsequentdisappointment。Butpeoplehavebeenknowntopineandfallsickfromholdingthenextnumbertothetwentythousandpoundprizeinthelottery。Nowthiscouldonlyarisefromtheirbeingsonearwinninginfancy，fromthereseemingtobesothinapartitionbetweenthemandsuccess。Whentheywerewithinoneoftherightnumber，whycouldtheynothavetakenthenext——itwassoeasy：thishauntstheirmindsandwillnotletthemrest，notwithstandingtheabsurdityofthereasoning。
Itisthatthewillherehasaslightimaginaryobstacletosurmounttoattainitsend；itshouldappearithadonlyanexceedinglytriflingefforttomakeforthispurpose，thatitwasabsolutelyinitspower(haditknown)toseizetheenviedprize，anditiscontinuallyharassingitselfbymakingtheobvioustransitionfromonenumbertotheother，whenitistoolate。Thatistosay，thewillactsinproportiontoitsfanciedpower，toitssuperiorityoverimmediateobstacles。Nowinlittleorindifferentmattersthereseemsnoreasonwhyitshouldnothaveitsownway，andthereforeadisappointmentvexesitthemore。Itgrowsangryaccordingtotheinsignificanceoftheoccasion，andfretsitselftodeathaboutanobject，merelybecausefromitsveryfutilitytherecanbesupposedtobenorealdifficultyinthewayofitsattainment，noranythingmorerequiredforthispurposethanadeterminationofthewill。Thebeingbaulkedofthisthrowsthemindoffitsbalance，orputsitintowhatiscalled_apassion；_andasnothingbutanactofvoluntarypowerstillseemsnecessarytogetridofeveryimpediment，weindulgeourviolencemoreandmore，andheightenourimpatiencebydegreesintoasortoffrenzy。Theobjectisthesameasitwas，butwearenolongeraswewere。Thebloodisheated，themusclesarestrained。Thefeelingsarewounduptoapitchofagonywiththevainstrife。Thetemperistriedtotheutmostitwillbear。
Themorecontemptibletheobjectortheobstructionsinthewaytoit，themoreareweprovokedatbeinghinderedbythem。Itlookslikewitchcraft。Wefancythereisaspelluponus，sothatwearehamperedbystrawsandentangledincobwebs。Webelievethatthereisafatalityaboutouraffairs。Itisevidentlydoneonpurposetoplagueus。A
demonisatourelbowtotormentanddefeatusineverything，eveninthesmallestthings。Weseehimsittingandmockingus，andweraveandgnashourteethathiminreturn，Itisparticularlyhardthatwecannotsucceedinanyonepoint，howevertrifling。thatwesetourheartson。
Wearethesportofimbecilityandmischance。Wemakeanotherdesperateeffort，andflyoutintoalltheextravaganceofimpotentrageoncemore。Ourangerrunsawaywithourreason，because，asthereislittletogiveitbirth，thereisnothingtocheekitorrecallustooursensesintheprospectofconsequences。Wetakeupandrendinpiecesthemeretoysofhumour，asthegustsofwindtakeupandwhirlaboutchaffandstubble。Passionplaysthetyrant，inagrandtragi-comicstyle，overtheLilliputiandifficultiesandpettydisappointmentsithastoencounter，giveswaytoallthefretfulnessofgriefandalltheturbulenceofresentment，makesafussaboutnothingbecausethereisnothingtomakeafussabout——whenanimpendingcalamity，anirretrievableloss，wouldinstantlybringittoitsrecollection，andtameitinitspreposterouscareer。Amanmaybeinagreatpassionandgivehimselfstrangeairsatsosimpleathingasagameatball，forinstance；mayragelikeawildbeast，andbereadytodashhisheadagainstthewallaboutnothing，oraboutthatwhichhewilllaughatthenextminute，andthinknomoreoftenminutesafter，atthesametimethatagoodsmartblowfromtheball，theeffectsofwhichhemightfeelasaseriousinconvenienceforamonth，wouldcalmhimdirectly——
Anonaspatientasthefemaledove，Hissilencewillsitdrooping。
Thetruthis，wepamperlittlegriefsintogreatones，andbeargreatonesaswellaswecan。Wecanaffordtodallyandplaytrickswiththeone，buttheotherswehaveenoughtodowith，withoutanyofthewantonnessandbombastofpassion——withouttheswaggeringofPistolortheinsolenceofKingCambyses”vein。Togreatevilswesubmit；weresentlittleprovocations。Ihavebeforenowbeendisappointedofahundredpoundjobandlosthalfacrownatracketsonthesameday，andbeenmoremortifiedatthelatterthantheformer。Thatwhichislastingwesharewiththefuture，wedefertheconsiderationoftillto-morrow：thatwhichbelongstothemomentwedrinkupinallitsbitterness，beforethespiritevaporates。Weprobeminutemischiefstothequick；welacerate，tear，andmangleourbosomswithmisfortune”sfinest，brittlestpoint，andwreakourvengeanceonourselvesanditforgoodandall。Smallpainsaremoremanageable，orewithinourreach；wecanfretandworryourselvesaboutthem，canturnthemintoanyshape，cantwistandtorturethemhowweplease：——agrainofsandintheeye，athornintheflesh，onlyirritatesthepart，andleavesusstrengthenoughtoquarrelandgetoutofallpatiencewithit：aheavyblowstunsandtakesawayallpowerofsenseaswellasofresistance。Thegreatandmightyreversesoffortune，liketherevolutionsofnature，maybesaidtocarrytheirownweightandreasonalongwiththem：theyseemunavoidableandremediless，andwesubmittothemwithoutmurmuringastoafatalnecessity。Themagnitudeoftheeventsinwhichwemayhappentobeconcernedfillsthemind，andcarriesitoutofitself，asitwere，intothepageofhistory。Ourthoughtsareexpandedwiththesceneonwhichwehavetoact，andlendusstrengthtodisregardourownpersonalshareinit。Somemenareindifferenttothestrokeoffate，asbeforeandafterearthquakesthereisacalmintheair。Fromthecommandingsituationwhencetheyhavebeenaccustomedtoviewthings，theylookdownatthemselvesasonlyapartofthewhole，andcanabstracttheirmindsfromthepressureofmisfortune，bytheaidofitsveryviolence。Theyareprojected，intheexplosionofevents，intoadifferentsphere，farfromtheirformerthoughts，purposes，andpassions。Thegreatnessofthechangeanticipatesthesloweffectsoftimeandreflection：——theyatoncecontemplatethemselvesfromanimmensedistance，andlookupwithspeculativewonderattheheightonwhichtheystood。Hadthedownfallbeenlesscomplete，itwouldhavebeenmoregallingandbornewithlessresignation，becausetheremightstillbeachanceofremedyingitbyfarthereffortsandfartherendurance——butpastcure，pasthope。Itischieflythiscause(togetherwithsomethingofconstitutionalcharacter)whichhasenabledthegreatestmaninmodernhistorytobearhisreversesoffortunewithgaymagnanimity，andtosubmittothelossoftheempireoftheworldwithaslittlediscomposureasifhehadbeenplayingagameatchess。[1]
ThisdoesnotprovebyourtheorythathedidnotusetoflyintoviolentpassionswithTalleyrandforplaguinghimwithbadnewswhenthingswentwrong。Hewasmadatuncertainforebodingsofdisaster，butresignedtoitsconsummation。Amanmaydislikeimpertinence，yethavenoquarrelwithnecessity！
Thereisanotherconsiderationthatmaytakeoffourwonderatthefirmnesswithwhichtheprincipalsingreatvicissitudesoffortunebeartheirfate，whichis，thattheyareinthesecretofitsoperations，andknowthatwhattoothersappearschance-medleywasunavoidable。Theclearnessoftheirperceptionofallthecircumstancesconvertstheuneasinessofdoubtintocertainty：theyhavenotthequalmsofconsciencewhichtheiradmirershave，whocannottellhowmuchoftheeventistobeattributedtotheleaders，andhowmuchtounforeseenaccidents：theyareawareeitherthattheresultwasnottobehelped，orthattheydidalltheycouldtopreventit。
SiPergarnadextraDefendipossent，etiamhacdefensafuissent。
Itisthemistandobscuritythroughwhichweviewobjectsthatmakesusfancytheymighthavebeenormightstillbeotherwise，ThepreciseknowledgeofantecedentsandconsequentsmakesmenpracticalaswellasphilosophicalNecessarians——Itisthewantofthisknowledgewhichistheprincipleandsoulofgambling，andofallgamesofchanceorpartialskill。Thesuppositionis，thattheissueisuncertain，andthatthereisnopositivemeansofascertainingit。Itisdependentontheturnofadie，onthetossingupofahalfpenny：tobefairitmustbealottery；thereisnoknowingbutbytheevent；anditisthiswhichkeepstheinterestalive，andworksupthepassionlittleshortofmadness。Thereisalltheagitationofsuspense，allthealternationofhopeandfear，ofgoodandbadsuccess，alltheeagernessofdesire，withoutthepossibilityofreducingthistocalculation，thatis，ofsubjectingtheincreasedactionofthewilltoaknownrule，orrestrainingtheexcessesofpassionwithintheboundsofreason。Weseenocausebeforehandwhytherunofthecardsshouldnotbeinourfavour：wewillhearofnoneafterwardswhyitshouldnothavebeenso。
Asintheabsenceofalldatatojudgeby，wewantonlyfilluptheblankwiththemostextravagantexpectations，so，whenallisover，weobstinatelyrecurtothechancewehadpreviously。Thereisnothingtotameusdowntotheevent，nothingtoreconcileustoourhardluck，forsowethinkit。Weseenoreasonwhywefailed(andtherewasnone，anymorethanwhyweshouldsucceed)——wethinkthat，reasonapart，ourwillisthenextbestthing；westilltrytohaveitourownway，andfret，torment，andharrowourselvesupwithvainimaginationstoeffectimpossibilities。[2]Weplaythegameoveragain：wewonderhowitwaspossibleforustofail。Weturnourbrainwithstrainingatcontradictions，andstrivingtomakethingswhattheyarenot，or，inotherwords，tosubjectthecourseofnaturetoourfastasticalwishes。
_”Ifithadbeenso——ifwehaddonesuchandsuchathing”_——wetryitinathousanddifferentways，andarejustasfaroffthemarkasever。
Weappealedtochanceinthefirstinstance，andyet，whenithasdecidedagainstus，wewillnotgivein，andsitdowncontentedwithourloss，butrefusetosubmittoanythingbutreason，whichhasnothingtodowiththematter。Indrawingtwostraws，forexample，toseewhichisthelongest，therewasnoapparentnecessityweshouldfixuponthewrongone，itwassoeasytohavefixedupontheother，nay，atonetimeweweregoingtodoit——ifwehad，——themindthusrunsbacktowhatwassopossibleandfeasibleatonetime，whilethethingwaspending，andwouldfaingiveabiastocausessoslenderandinsignificant，astheskittle-playerbendshisbodytogiveabiastothebowlhehasalreadydeliveredfromhishand，notconsideringthatwhatisoncedetermined，bethecauseseversotrivialorevanescent，isintheindividualinstanceunalterable。Indeed，tobeagreatphilosopher，inthepracticalandmostimportantsenseoftheterm，littlemoreseemsnecessarythantobeconvincedofthetruthofthemaximwhichthewisemanrepeatedtothedaughterofKingCophetua，_Thatifathingis，itis，_andthereisanendofit！
Weoftenmakelifeunhappyinwishingthingstohaveturnedoutotherwisethantheydid，merelybecausethatispossibletotheimagination，whichisimpossibleinfact。Iremember，whenLamb”sfarcewasdamned(fordamneditwas，that”scertain)，Iusedtodreameverynightforamonthafter(andthenIvowedIwouldplaguemyselfnomoreaboutit)thatitwasrevivedatoneoftheminororprovincialtheatreswithgreatsuccess，thatsuchandsuchretrenchmentsandalterationshadbeenmadeinit，andthatitwasthought_itmightdoattheotherHouse。_Ihadheardindeed(thiswastoldinconfidencetoLamb)that_Gentleman_Lewiswaspresentonthenightofitsperformance，andsaidthatifhehadhadithewouldhavemadeit，byafewjudiciouscurtailments，”themostpopularlittlethingthathadbeenbroughtoutforsometime。”HowoftendidIconjureupinrecollectionthefulldiapasonofapplauseattheendofthe_Prologue，_andhearmyingeniousfriendinthefirstrowofthepitroarwithlaughterathisownwit！
ThenIdweltwithforcedcomplacencyonsomepartinwhichithadbeendoingwell：thenwewouldconsider(inconcert)whetherthelongtediousoperaofthe_Travellers，_whichprecededit，hadnottiredpeoplebeforehand，sothattheyhadnotspiritsleftforthequaintandsparkling”witskirmishes”ofthedialogue；andweallagreeditmighthavegonedownafteratragedy，exceptLambhimself，whosworehehadnohopesofitfromthebeginning，andthatheknewthenameoftheherowhenitcametobediscoveredcouldnotbegotover。Mr。_H——，_thouwertdamned！Brightshonethemorningontheplay-billsthatannouncedthyappearance，andthestreetswerefilledwiththebuzzofpersonsaskingoneanotheriftheywouldgotosee_Mr。H——，_andansweringthattheywouldcertainly；butbeforenightthegaiety，notoftheauthor，butofhisfriendsandthetown。waseclipsed，forthouweredamned！Hadstthoubeenanonymousthouhaplymightsthavelived。Butthoudidstcometoanuntimelyendforthytricks，andforwantofabetternametopassthemoff！
Inthismannerwegobacktothecriticalminutesonwhichtheturnofourfate，orthatofanyoneelseinwhomweareinterested；depended；
trythemoveragainwithnewknowledgeandsharpenedsensibility；andthusthinktoalterwhatisirrevocable，andeaseforamomentthepangoflastingregret。Soinagameatrackets[3](tocomparesmallthingswithgreat)，IthinkifatsuchapointIhadfollowedupmysuccess，ifIhadnotbeentoosecureorover-anxiousinanotherpart，ifIhadplayedforsuchanopening——inshort，ifIhaddoneanythingbutwhatI
didandwhathasprovedunfortunateintheresult，thechanceswereallinmyfavour。ButitismerelybecauseIdonotknowwhatwouldhavehappenedintheothercasethatIinterpretitsoreadilytomyownadvantage。Ihavesometimeslainawakeawholenight，tryingtoserveoutthelastballofaninterestinggameinaparticularcornerofthecourt，whichIhadmissedfromanervousfeeling。Rackets(Imightobserve，forthesakeoftheuninformedreader)is，likeanyotherathleticgame，verymuchathingofskillandpractice；butitisalsoathingofopinion，”subjecttoalltheskyeyinfluences。”Ifyouthinkyoucanwin，youcanwin。Faithisnecessarytovictory。Ifyouhesitateinstrikingattheball，itistentoonebutyoumissit。Ifyouareapprehensiveofcommittingsomeparticularerror(suchasstrikingtheball_foul_)youwillbenearlysuretodoit。Whilethinkingofthatwhichyouaresoearnestlybentuponavoiding，yourhandmechanicallyfollowsthestrongestidea，andobeystheimaginationratherthantheintentionofthestriker。Arunofluckisaforerunnerofsuccess，andcourageisasmuchwantedasskill。Nooneis，however，freefromnervoussensationsattimes。Agoodplayermaynotbeabletostrikeasinglestrokeifanothercomesintothecourtthathehasaparticulardreadof；anditfrequentlysohappensthataplayercannotbeatanother，eventhoughhecangivehalfthegametoanequalplayer，becausehehassomeassociationsofjealousyorpersonalpiqueagainstthefirstwhichhehasnottowardsthelast。_Sedhaechactenus。_
ChessisagameIdonotunderstand，andhavenotcomprehensionenoughtoplayat。ButIbelieve，thoughitissomuchlessathingofchancethanscienceorskill，eagerplayerspasswholenightsinmarchingandcountermarchingtheirmenandcheckmatingasuccessfuladversary，supposingthatatacertainpointofthegametheyhaddetermineduponmakingaparticularmoveinsteadoftheonewhichtheyactuallydidmake。Ihaveheardastoryoftwopersonsplayingatbackgammon，oneofwhomwassoenragedatlosinghismatchataparticularpointofthegamethathetooktheboardandthrewitoutofthewindow。Itfellupontheheadofoneofthepassengersinthestreet，whocameuptodemandinstantsatisfactionfortheaffrontandinjuryhehadsustained。
Thelosinggamesteronlyaskedhimifheunderstoodbackgammon，andfindingthathedid，said，thatifuponseeingthestateofthegamehedidnotexcusetheextravaganceofhisconduct，hewouldgivehimanyothersatisfactionhewishedfor。Thetableswereaccordinglybrought，andthesituationofthetwocontendingpartiesbeingexplained，thegentlemanputuphisswordandwentawayperfectlysatisfied。Toreturnfromthis，whichtosomewillseemadigression，andtootherswillserveasaconfirmationofthedoctrineIaminsistingon。
Itisnot，then，thevalueoftheobject，butthetimeandpainsbestoweduponit，thatdeterminesthesenseanddegreeofourloss。
Manymensettheirmindsonlyontrifles，andhavenotacompassofsoultotakeaninterestinanythingtrulygreatandimportantbeyondformsandminutiae。Suchpersonsarereallymenoflittleminds，ormaybecomplimentedwiththetitleofgreatchildren，Pleasedwithafeather，tickledwithastraw。
Largerobjectseludetheirgrasp，whiletheyfasteneagerlyonthelightandinsignificant。Theyfidgetthemselvesandotherstodeathwithincessantanxietyaboutnothing。Apartoftheirdressthatisawrykeepstheminafeverofrestlessnessandimpatience；theysitpickingtheirteeth，orparingtheirnails，orstirringthefire，orbrushingaspeckofdirtofftheircoats，whilethehouseortheworldtumblingabouttheirearswouldnotrousethemfromtheirmorbidinsensibility。
Theycannotsitstillontheirchairsfortheirlives，thoughiftherewereanythingforthemtodotheywouldbecomeimmovable。Theirnervesareasirritableastheirimaginationsarecallousandinert。Theyareaddictedtoaninveteratehabitoflittlenessandperversity，whichrejectseveryothermotivetoactionorobjectofcontemplationbutthedaily，teasing，contemptible，familiar，favouritesourcesofuneasinessanddissatisfaction。Whentheyareofasanguineinsteadofamorbidtemperament，theybecome_quid-nuncs_andvirtuosos——collectorsofcaterpillarsandoddvolumes，makersoffishing-rodsandcuriousinwatch-chains。WillWimbledabbledinthisway，tohisimmortalhonour。
