”Ihavehadrepeatedproofsofhavinglostretentionofvisualobjects，atvariousdistancesoftime，thoughtheyhadoncebeenfamiliar。I havenot，duringthirtyyears，forgotthedelicate，andinitselfmosttriflingsensationthatthepalmofmyhandusedtoconvey，whenIwasaboy，tryingthedifferenteffectsofwhatboyscall_light_and_heavy_
tops；butIcannotrememberwithinseveralshadesofthebrowncoatwhichIleftoffaweekago。Ifanymanthinkshecandobetter，lethimtakeanidealsurveyofhiswardrobe，andthenactuallyrefertoitforproof。”Afterretentionofsuchideas，itcertainlywouldbeverydifficulttopersuademethatfeeling，taste，andsmellcanscarcebesaidtoleaveideas，unlessindistinctandobscureones……”ShowaLondonercorrectmodelsoftwentyLondonchurches，and，atthesametime，amodelofeach，whichdiffers，inseveralconsiderablefeatures，fromthetruth，andIventuretosayheshallnottellyou，inanyinstance，whichisthecorrectone，exceptbymerechance。”Ifheisanarchitecthemaybemuchmorecorrectthananyordinaryperson：andthisobviouslyisbecausehehasfeltaninterestinviewingthesestructures，whichanordinarypersondoesnotfeel：andhereinterestisthesolereasonofhisrememberingmorecorrectlythanhisneighbour。”Ionceheardapersonquaintlyaskanother，HowmanytreesthereareinSt。Paul”schurchyard？Thequestionitselfindicatesthatmanycannotanswerit；andthisisfoundtobethecasewiththosewhohavepassedthechurchahundredtimes：whilstthecauseis，thateveryindividualinthebusystreamwhichglidespastSt。Paul”sisengrossedinvariousotherinterests。”Howoftendoesithappenthatweenterawell-knownapartment，ormeetawell-knownfriend，andreceivesomevagueideaofvisibledifference，butcannotpossiblyfindout_what_itis；untilatlengthwecometoperceive(orperhapsmustbetold)thatsomeornamentorfurnitureisremoved，altered，oraddedintheapartment；orthatourfriendhascuthishair，takenawig，orhasmadeanyoftwentyconsiderablealterationsinhisappearance。Atothertimeswehavenoperceptionofalterationwhatever，thoughthelikehastakenplace。”Itis，however，certainthatsight，appositedwithinterest，canretaintolerablyexactcopiesofsensations，especiallyifnottoocomplex，suchasofthehumancountenanceandfigure：yetthevoicewillconvinceuswhenthecountenancewillnot；andheisreckonedanexcellentpainter，andnoordinarygenius，whocanmakeatolerablelikenessfrommemory。Nay，more，itisaconspicuousproofoftheinaccuracyofvisualideas，thatitisaneffortofconsummateart，attainedbymanyyears”practice，totakeastrictlikenessofthehumancountenance，evenwhentheobjectispresent；andamongthosecaseswherethewilfulcheatofflatteryhasbeenavoided，westillfindinhowveryfewinstancesthebestpaintersproducealikenessuptothelife，thoughpracticeandinterestjoinintheattempt。”Iimagineanordinarypersonwouldfinditverydifficult，supposinghehadsomeknowledgeofdrawing，toaffordfrommemoryatolerablesketchofsuchafamiliarobjectashiscurtain，hiscarpet，orhisdressing-gown，ifthepatternofeitherbeatallvariousorirregular；
yethewillinstantlytell，withprecision，eitherifhissnufforhiswinehasnotthesamecharacterithadyesterday，thoughboththesearecompounds。”BeyondallthisImayobserve，thatadraperwhoisinthedailyhabitofsuchcomparisonscannotcarryinhismindtheparticularshadeofacolourduringasecondoftime；andhasnocertaintyoftolerablymatchingtwosimplecolours，exceptbyplacingthepatternsincontact。”[2]
IwillconcludethesubjectofthisEssaywithobservingthat(asitappearstome)anearerandmorefamiliaracquaintancewithpersonshasadifferentandmorefavourableeffectthanthatwithplacesorthings。
Thelatterimprove(asanalmostuniversalrule)bybeingremovedtoadistance：theformer，generallyatleast，gainbybeingbroughtnearerandmorehometous。Reportorimaginationseldomraisesanyindividualsohighinourestimationastodisappointusgreatlywhenweareintroducedtohim：prejudiceandmaliceconstantlyexaggeratedefectsbeyondthereality。Ignorancealonemakesmonstersorbugbears：ouractualacquaintancesareallverycommonplacepeople。Thethingis，thatasamatterofhearsayorconjecture，wemakeabstractionsofparticularvices，andirritateourselvesagainstsomeparticularqualityoractionofthepersonwedislike：whereasindividualsareconcreteexistences，notarbitrarydenominationsornicknames；andhaveinnumerableotherqualities，good，bad，andindifferent，besidesthedamningfeaturewithwhichwefilluptheportraitorcaricatureinourpreviousfancies。Wecanscarcelyhateanyonethatweknow。Anacuteobservercomplained，thatiftherewasanyonetowhomhehadaparticularspite，andawishtolethimseeit，themomenthecametositdownwithhimhisenmitywasdisarmedbysomeunforeseencircumstance。IfitwasaQuarterlyReviewer，hewasinotherrespectslikeanyotherman。Suppose，again，youradversaryturnsoutaveryuglyman，orwantsaneye，youarebaulkedinthatway：heisnotwhatyouexpected，theobjectofyourabstracthatredandimplacabledisgust。
Hemaybeaverydisagreeableperson，butheisnolongerthesame。Ifyoucomeintoaroomwhereamanis，youfind，ingeneral，thathehasanoseuponhisface。”There”ssympathy！”Thisaloneisadiversiontoyourunqualifiedcontempt。Heisstupid，andsaysnothing，butheseemstohavesomethinginhimwhenhelaughs。YouhadconceivedofhimasarankWhigorTory——yethetalksuponothersubjects。Youknewthathewasavirulentparty-writer；butyoufindthatthemanhimselfisatamesortofanimalenough。Hedoesnotbite。That”ssomething。Inshort，youcanmakenothingofit。Evenoppositevicesbalanceoneanother。A
manmaybepertincompany，butheisalsodull；sothatyoucannot，thoughyoutry，hatehimcordially，merelyforthewishtobeoffensive。
Heisaknave。Granted。Youlearn，onaneareracquaintance，whatyoudidnotknowbefore——thatheisafoolaswell；soyouforgivehim。Ontheotherhand，hemaybeaprofligatepubliccharacter，andmaymakenosecretofit；buthegivesyouaheartyshakebythehand，speakskindlytoservants，andsupportsanagedfatherandmother。Politicsapart，heisaveryhonestfellow。Youaretoldthatapersonhascarbunclesonhisface；butyouhaveocularproofsthatheissallow，andpaleasaghost。Thisdoesnotmuchmendthematter；butitbluntstheedgeoftheridicule，andturnsyourindignationagainsttheinventorofthelie；butheis——，theeditorofaScotchmagazine；soyouarejustwhereyouwere。Iamnotveryfondofanonymouscriticism；Iwanttoknowwhotheauthorcanbe：butthemomentIlearnthis，Iamsatisfied。
Even——woulddowelltocomeoutofhisdisguise。Itisthemaskonlythatwedreadandhate：themanmayhavesomethinghumanabouthim！
Thenotions，inshort，whichweentertainofpeopleatadistance，orfrompartialrepresentations，orfromguess-work，aresimpleuncompoundedideas，whichanswertonothinginreality：thosewhichwederivefromexperiencearemixedmodes，theonlytrue，and，ingeneral，themostfavourableones。Insteadofnakeddeformity，orabstractperfection——
Thosefaultlessmonsterswhichtheworldne”ersaw——”thewebofourlivesisofmingledyarn，goodandilltogether：ourvirtueswouldbeproud，ifourfaultswhiptthemnot；andourviceswoulddespair，iftheywerenotencouragedbyourvirtues。”Thiswastrulyandfinelysaidlongago，byonewhoknewthestrongandweakpointsofhumannature；butitiswhatsects，andparties，andthosephilosopherswhoseprideandboastitistoclassifybynicknames，haveyettoknowthemeaningof！
NOTEStoESSAYX
[1]SeeWilkie”sBlindFiddler。
[2]_EssayonConsciousness，p。303。
ESSAYXI
ONCORPORATEBODIES
Corporatebodieshavenosoul。
Corporatebodiesaremorecorruptandprofligatethanindividuals，becausetheyhavemorepowertodomischief，andarelessamenabletodisgraceorpunishment。Theyfeelneithershame，remorse，gratitude，norgoodwill。Theprincipleofprivateornaturalconscienceisextinguishedineachindividual(wehavenomoralsenseinthebreastsofothers)，andnothingisconsideredbuthowtheunitedeffortsofthewhole(releasedfromidlescruples)maybebestdirectedtotheobtainingofpoliticaladvantagesandprivilegestobesharedascommonspoil。Eachmemberreapsthebenefit，andlaystheblame，ifthereisany，upontherest。The_espritdecorps_becomestherulingpassionofeverycorporatebody，comparedwithwhichthemotivesofdelicacyordecorumtowardsothersarelookeduponasbeingbothimpertinentandimproper。Ifanypersonsetsupapleaofthissortinoppositiontotherest，heisoverruled，hegetsill-blood，anddoesnogood：heisregardedasaninterloper，a_blacksheep_intheflock，andiseither_senttoCoventry_orobligedtoacquiesceinthenotionsandwishesofthoseheassociatesandisexpectedtoco-operatewith。Therefinementsofprivatejudgmentarereferredtoandnegativedinacommitteeofthewholebody，whiletheprojectsandinterestsoftheCorporationmeetwithasecretbutpowerfulsupportintheself-loveofthedifferentmembers。Remonstrance，opposition，isfruitless，troublesome，invidious；itanswersnooneend；andaconformitytothesenseofthecompanyisfoundtobenolessnecessarytoareputationforgood-fellowshipthantoaquietlife。Self-loveandsocialherelooklikethesame；andinconsultingtheinterestsofaparticularclass，whicharealsoyourown，thereisevenashowofpublicvirtue。Hewhoisacaptious，impracticable，dissatisfiedmemberofhislittleclubor_coterie_isimmediatelysetdownasabadmemberofthecommunityingeneral，asnofriendtoregularityandorder，as”apestilentfellow”
andonewhoisincapableofsympathy，attachment，orcordialco-operationinanydepartmentorundertaking。Thusthemostrefractorynoviceinsuchmattersbecomesweanedfromhisobligationstothelargersociety，whichonlybreedhiminconveniencewithoutanyadequaterecompense，andweddedtoaneareranddearerone，wherehefindseverykindofcomfortandconsolation。HecontractsthevagueandunmeaningcharacterofManintothemoreemphatictitleofFreemanandAlderman。
Theclaimsofanundefinedhumanitysitlooserandlooseruponhim，atthesametimethathedrawsthebandsofhisnewengagementscloserandtighterabouthim。Helosessight，bydegrees，ofallcommonsenseandfeelinginthepettysquabbles，intrigues，feuds，andairsofaffectedimportancetowhichhehasmadehimselfanaccessory。Heisquiteanalteredman。”Reallythesocietywereunderconsiderableobligationstohiminthatlastbusiness”；thatistosay，insomepaltryjoborunderhandattempttoencroachupontherightsordictatetotheunderstandingsoftheneighbourhood。Inthemeantimetheyeat，drink，andcarousetogether。Theywashdownallminoranimositiesandunavoidabledifferencesofopinioninpintbumpers；andthecomplaintsofthemultitudearelostintheclatterofplatesandtheroaringofloyalcatchesateveryquarter”smeetingormayor”sfeast。Thetown-hallreelswithanunwieldysenseofself-importance；”theverystonesprate”ofprocessions；thecommonpumpcreaksinconcertwiththeuncorkingofbottlesandtappingofbeer-barrels：themarket-crosslooksbigwithauthority。Everythinghasanambiguous，upstart，repulsiveair。Circlewithincircleisformed，an_imperiuminimperio_：andthebusinessistoexcludefromthefirstcircleallthenotions，opinions，ideas，interests，andpretensionsofthesecond。Hencetherearisesnotonlyanantipathytocommonsenseanddecencyinthosethingswherethereisarealoppositionofinterestorclashingofprejudice，butitbecomesahabitandafavouriteamusementinthosewhoare”dressedinalittlebriefauthority”tothwart，annoy，insult，andharassothersonalloccasionswheretheleastopportunityorpretextforitoccurs。
Spite，bickerings，back-biting，insinuations，lies，jealousies，nicknamesaretheorderoftheday，andnobodyknowswhatit”sallabout。Onewouldthinkthatthemayor，aldermen，andliverymenwereahigherandmoreselectspeciesofanimalsthantheirtownsmen；thoughthereisnodifferencewhateverbutintheirgownsandstaffofoffice！
Thisistheessenceofthe_espritdecorps_。Itiscertainlynotaverydelectablesourceofcontemplationorsubjecttotreatof。
Publicbodiesaresofarworsethantheindividualscomposingthem，becausethe_official_takesplaceofthe_moralsense。_Thenervesthatinthemselvesweresoftandpliableenough，andrespondednaturallytothetouchofpity，whenfastenedintoamachineofthatsortbecomecallousandrigid，andthrowoffeveryextraneousapplicationthatcanbemadetothemwithperfectapathy。Anappealismadetothetiesofindividualfriendship：thebodyingeneralknownothingofthem。Acasehasoccurredwhichstronglycalledforththecompassionofthepersonwhowaswitnessofit；butthebody(oranyspecialdeputationofthem)
werenotpresentwhenithappened。Theselittleweaknessesand”compunctiousvisitingsofnature”areeffectuallyguardedagainst，indeed，bytheveryrulesandregulationsofthesociety，aswellasbyitsspirit。Theindividualisthecreatureofhisfeelingsofallsorts，thesportofhisvicesandhisvirtues——likethefoolinShakespear，”motley”shisproperwear”：——corporatebodiesaredressedinamoraluniform；mixedmotivesdonotoperatethere，frailtyismadeintoasystem，”diseasesareturnedintocommodities。”Onlysomuchofanyone”snaturalorgenuineimpulsescaninfluencehiminhisartificialcapacityasformallycomeshometotheaggregateconscienceofthosewithwhomheacts，orbearsupontheinterests(realorpretended)，theimportance，respectability，andprofessedobjectsofthesociety。Beyondthatpointthenerveisboundup，theconscienceisseared，andthetorpedo-touchofsomuchinertmatteroperatestodeadenthebestfeelingsandhardentheheart。Laughterandtearsaresaidtobethecharacteristicsignsofhumanity。Laughteriscommonenoughinsuchplacesasaset-offtothemock-gravity；butwhoeversawapublicbodyintears？Nothingbutajoborsomeknaverycankeepthemseriousfortenminutestogether。[1]
Sucharethequalificationsandtheapprenticeshipnecessarytomakeamantolerated，toenablehimtopassasacypher，orbeadmittedasamerenumericalunit，inanycorporatebody：tobealeaderanddictatorhemustbediplomaticinimpertinence，andofficiousineverydirtywork。Hemustnotmerelyconformtoestablishedprejudices；hemustflatterthem。Hemustnotmerelybeinsensibletothedemandsofmoderationandequity；hemustbeloudagainstthem。Hemustnotsimplyfallinwithallsortsofcontemptiblecabalsandintrigues；hemustbeindefatigableinfomentingthem，andsettingeverybodytogetherbytheears。Hemustnotonlyrepeat，butinventlies。Hemustmakespeechesandwritehandbills；hemustbedevotedtothewishesandobjectsofthesociety，itscreature，itsjackal，itsbusybody，itsmouthpiece，itsprompter；hemustdealinlawcases，indemurrers，incharters，intraditions，incommon-places，inlogicandrhetoric——ineverythingbutcommonsenseandhonesty。Hemust(inMr。Burke”sphrase)”disembowelhimselfofhisnaturalentrails，andbestuffedwithpaltry，blurredsheetsofparchmentabouttherights”oftheprivilegedfew。Hemustbeaconcentratedessence，avarnished，powderedrepresentativeofthevices，absurdities，hypocrisy，jealousy，pride，andpragmaticalnessofhisparty。Suchaone，bybustleandself-importanceandpuffing，byflatteringonetohisfaceandabusinganotherbehindhisback，bylendinghimselftotheweaknessesofsome，andpamperingthemischievouspropensitiesofothers，willpassforagreatmaninalittlesociety。
Agedoesnotimprovethemoralityofpublicbodies。Theygrowmoreandmoretenaciousoftheiridleprivilegesandsenselessself-consequence。
Theygetweakandobstinateatthesametime。Thosewhobelongtothemhavealltheupstartprideandpettifoggingspiritoftheirpresentcharacteringraftedonthevenerablenessandsuperstitioussanctityofancientinstitutions。Theyarenaturallyatissue，firstwiththeirneighbours，andnextwiththeircontemporaries，onallmattersofcommonproprietyandjudgment。Theybecomemoreattachedtoforms，themoreobsoletetheyare；andthedefenceofeveryabsurdandinvidiousdistinctionisadebtwhich(byimplication)theyowetothedeadaswellastheliving。Whatmightoncehavebeenofseriouspracticalutilitytheyturntofarce，byretainingtheletterwhenthespiritisgone：andtheydothisthemore，themoreglaringtheinconsistencyandwantofsoundreasoning；fortheythinktheythusgiveproofoftheirzealandattachmenttotheabstractprincipleonwhicholdestablishmentsexist，thegroundofprescriptionandauthority。_Thegreaterthewrong，thegreatertheright，_inallsuchcases。The_espritdecorps_doesnottakemuchmerittoitselfforupholdingwhatisjustifiableinanysystem，ortheproceedingsofanyparty，butforadheringtowhatispalpablyinjurious。Youmayexactthefirstfromanenemy：thelastistheprovinceofafriend。Ithasbeenmadeasubjectofcomplaint，thatthechampionsoftheChurch，forexample，whoareadvancedtodignitiesandhonours，arehardlyeverthosewhodefendthecommonprinciplesofChristianity，butthosewhovolunteertomantheout-works，andsetupingeniousexcusesforthequestionablepoints，theticklishplacesintheestablishedformofworship，thatis，forthosewhichareattackedfromwithout，andaresupposedindangerofbeingunderminedbystratagem，orcarriedbyassault！
Thegreatresortsandseatsoflearningoftenoutliveinthiswaytheintentionofthefoundersastheworldoutgrowsthem。Theymaybesaidtoresembleantiquatedcoquettesofthelastage，whothinkeverythingridiculousandintolerablebutwhatwasinfashionwhentheywereyoung，andyetarestandingproofsoftheprogressoftasteandthevanityofhumanpretensions。Ouruniversitiesare，inagreatmeasure，becomecisternstohold，notconduitstodisperseknowledge。Theagehasthestartofthem；thatis，othersourcesofknowledgehavebeenopenedsincetheirformation，towhichtheworldhavehadaccess，andhavedrunkplentifullyatthoselivingfountains，butfromwhichtheyaredebarredbythetenoroftheircharter，andasamatterofdignityandprivilege。Theyhavegrownpoor，liketheoldgrandeesinsomecountries，bysubsistingontheinheritanceoflearning，whilethepeoplehavegrownrichbytrade。Theyaretoomuchinthenatureof_fixtures_inintellect：theystopthewayintheroadtotruth；oratanyrate(fortheydonotthemselvesadvance)theycanonlybeofserviceasacheck-weightonthetoohastyandrapidcareerofinnovation。Allthathasbeeninventedorthoughtinthelasttwohundredyearstheytakenocognizanceof，oraslittleaspossible；theyareaboveit；theystandupontheancientlandmarks，andwillnotbudge；
whateverwasnotknownwhentheywerefirstendowed，theyarestillinprofoundandloftyignoranceof。Yetinthatperiodhowmuchhasbeendoneinliterature，arts，andscience，ofwhich(withtheexceptionofmathematicalknowledge，thehardesttogainsayorsubjecttothetrammelsofprejudiceandbarbarous_ipsedixits_)scarceanytraceistobefoundintheauthenticmodesofstudyandlegitimateinquirywhichprevailateitherofourUniversities！Theunavoidableaimofallcorporatebodiesoflearningisnottogrowwise，orteachotherswisdom，buttopreventanyoneelsefrombeingorseemingwiserthanthemselves；inotherwords，theirinfallibletendencyisintheendtosuppressinquiryanddarkenknowledge，bysettinglimitstothemindofman，andsayingtohisproudspirit，_Hithertoshaltthoucome，andnofarther！_ItwouldnotbeanunedifyingexperimenttomakeacollectionofthetitlesofworkspublishedinthecourseoftheyearbyMembersoftheUniversities。Ifanyattemptistobemadetopatchupanidlesysteminpolicyorlegislation，orchurchgovernment，itisbyamemberoftheUniversity：ifanyhashed-upspeculationonanoldexplodedargumentistobebroughtforward”inspiteof_shame，_inerringreason”sspite”itisbyaMemberoftheUniversity：ifapaltryprojectisusheredintotheworldforcombiningancientprejudiceswithmoderntime-serving，itisbyaMemberoftheUniversity。ThuswegetatastatedsupplyoftheannualDefencesoftheSinkingFund，ThoughtsontheEvilsofEducation，TreatisesonPredestination，andEulogiesonMr。Malthus，allfromthesamesource，andthroughthesamevent。Iftheycamefromanyotherquarternobodywouldlookatthem；buttheyhavean_Imprimatur_fromdulnessandauthority：weknowthatthereisnooffenceinthem；andtheyarestuckintheshopwindows，andread(intheintervalsofLordByron”sworks，ortheScotchnovels)incathedraltownsandcloseboroughs！
Itis，Iunderstandandbelieve，prettymuchthesameinmoremoderninstitutionsfortheencouragementoftheFineArts。Theendislostinthemeans：rulestakeplaceofnatureandgenius；cabalandbustle，andstruggleforrankandprecedence，supersedethestudyandtheloveofart。ARoyalAcademyisakindofhospitalandinfirmaryfortheobliquitiesoftasteandingenuity——areceptaclewhereenthusiasmandoriginalitystopandstagnate，andspreadtheirinfluencenofarther，insteadofbeingaschoolfoundedforgenius，oratemplebuilttofame。
Thegeneralityofthosewhowriggle，orfawn，orbegtheirwaytoaseatthere，liveontheircertificateofmerittoagoodoldage，andareseldomheardofafterwards。Ifamanofsterlingcapacitygetsamongthem，andmindshisownbusinessheisnobody；hemakesnofigureincouncil，invoting，inresolutionsorspeeches。IfhecomesforwardwithplansandviewsforthegoodoftheAcademyandtheadvancementofart，heisimmediatelysetuponasavisionary，afanatic，withnotionshostiletotheinterestandcreditoftheexistingmembersofthesociety。IfhedirectstheambitionofthescholarstothestudyofHistory，thisstrikesatonceattheemolumentsoftheprofession，whoaremostofthem(byGod”swill)portraitpainters。IfheeulogisestheAntique，andspeakshighlyoftheOldMasters，heissupposedtobeactuatedbyenvytolivingpaintersandnativetalent。If，again，heinsistsonaknowledgeofanatomyasessentialtocorrectdrawing，thiswouldseemtoimplyawantofitinourmosteminentdesigners。Everyplan，suggestion，argument，thathasthegeneralpurposesandprinciplesofartforitsobject，isthwarted，scouted，ridiculed，slandered，ashavingamalignantaspecttowardstheprofitsandpretensionsofthegreatmassofflourishingandrespectableartistsinthecountry。Thisleadstoirritationandill-willonallsides。Theobstinacyoftheconstitutedauthoritieskeepspacewiththeviolenceandextravaganceopposedtoit；andtheylayalltheblameonthefollyandmistakestheyhavethemselvesoccasionedorincreased。Itisconsideredasapersonalquarrel，notapublicquestion；bywhichmeansthedignityofthebodyisimplicatedinresentingtheslipsandinadvertenciesofitsmembers，notinpromotingtheircommonanddeclaredobjects。Inthissortofwretched_tracasserie_theBarrysandH——sstandnochancewiththeCatons，theTubbs，andF——s。SirJoshuaevenwasobligedtoholdhimselfalooffromthem，andFuselipassesasakindofnondescript，oroneofhisowngrotesques。Theairofanacademy，inshort，isnottheairofgeniusandimmortality；itistoocloseandheated，andimpregnatedwiththenotionsofthecommonsort。Amansteepedinacorruptatmosphereofthisdescriptionisnolongeropentothegenialimpulsesofnatureandtruth，norseesvisionsofidealbeauty，nordreamsofantiquegraceandgrandeur，norhasthefinestworksofartcontinuallyhoveringandfloatingthroughhisupliftedfancy；buttheimagesthathauntitarerulesoftheacademy，charters，inauguralspeeches，resolutionspassedorrescinded，cardsofinvitationtoacouncil-meeting，ortheannualdinner，prizemedals，andtheking”sdiploma，constitutinghimagentlemanandesquire。He”wipesoutalltrivial，fondrecords”；allromanticaspirations；”theRaphaelgrace，theGuidoair”；andthecommandsoftheacademyalone”mustlivewithinthebookandvolumeofhisbrain，unmixedwithbasermatter。”Itmaybedoubtedwhetheranyworkoflastingreputationanduniversalinterestcanspringupinthissoil，oreverhasdoneinthatofanyacademy。
Thelastquestionisamatteroffactandhistory，notofmereopinionorprejudice；andmaybeascertainedassuchaccordingly。Themightynamesofformertimesrosebeforetheexistenceofacademies；andthethreegreatestpainters，undoubtedly，thatthiscountryhasproduced，Reynolds，Wilson，andHogarth，werenot”dandledandswaddled”intoartistsinanyinstitutionforthefinearts。IdonotapprehendthatthenamesofChantreyorWilkie(greatasone，andconsiderableastheotherofthemis)canbemadeuseofinanywaytoimpugnthejetofthisargument。Wemayfindaconsiderableimprovementinsomeofourartists，whentheygetoutofthevortexforatime。SirThomasLawrenceisallthebetterforhavingbeenabstractedforayearortwofromSomersetHouse；andMr。Dawe，theysay，hasbeendoingwondersintheNorth。Whenwillhereturn，andoncemore”bidBritanniarivalGreece”？
Mr。Canningsomewherelaysitdownasarule，thatcorporatebodiesarenecessarilycorrectandpureintheirconduct，fromtheknowledgewhichtheindividualscomposingthemhaveofoneanother，andthejealousvigilancetheyexerciseovereachother”smotivesandcharacters；
whereaspeoplecollectedintomobsaredisorderlyandunprincipledfrombeingutterlyunknownandunaccountabletoeachother。Thisisacurious_pass_ofwit。Idifferwithhiminbothpartsofthedilemma。
Tobeginwiththefirst，andtohandleitsomewhatcavalierly，accordingtothemodelbeforeus；weknow，forinstance，thereissaidtobehonouramongthieves，butverylittlehonestytowardsothers。Theirhonourconsistsinthedivisionofthebooty，notinthemodeofacquiringit：theydonot(often)betrayoneanother，buttheywillwaylayastranger，orknockoutatraveller”sbrains：theymaybedependedoningivingthealarmwhenanyoftheirpostsareindangerofbeingsurprised；andtheywillstandtogetherfortheirill-gottengainstothelastdropoftheirblood。Yettheyformadistinctsociety，andarestrictlyresponsiblefortheirbehaviourtooneanotherandtotheirleader。Theyarenotamob，buta_gang，_completelyinoneanother”spowerandsecrets。Theirfamiliarity，however，withtheproceedingsofthe_corps_doesnotleadthemtoexpectortoexactfromitaveryhighstandardofmoralhonesty；thatisoutofthequestion；buttheyaresuretogainthegoodopinionoftheirfellowsbycommittingallsortsofdepredations，fraud，andviolenceagainstthecommunityatlarge。So(nottospeakitprofanely)someofMr。Croker”sfriendsmaybeveryrespectablepeopleintheirway——”allhonourablemen”——buttheirrespectabilityisconfinedwithinpartylimits；everyonedoesnotsympathiseintheintegrityoftheirviews；theunderstandingbetweenthemandthepublicisnotwelldefinedorreciprocal。Or，supposeagangofpickpocketshustleapassengerinthestreet，andthemobsetuponthem，andproceedtoexecutesummaryjusticeuponsuchastheycanlayhandson，amItoconcludethattheroguesareintheright，becausetheirsisasystemofwell-organisedknavery，whichtheysettledinthemorning，withtheireyesoneupontheother，andwhichtheyregularlyreviewatnight，withadueestimateofeachother”smotives，character，andconductinthebusiness；andthatthehonestmenareinthewrong，becausetheyareacasualcollectionofunprejudiced，disinterestedindividuals，takenataventurefromthemassofthepeople，actingwithoutconcertorresponsibility，onthespuroftheoccasion，andgivingwaytotheirinstantaneousimpulsesandhonestanger？Mobs，infact，then，arealmostalwaysrightintheirfeelings，andoftenintheirjudgments，onthisveryaccount——thatbeingutterlyunknowntoanddisconnectedwitheachother，theyhavenopointofunionorprincipleofco-operationbetweenthem，butthenaturalsenseofjusticerecognisedbyallpersonsincommon。Theyappeal，atthefirstmeeting，nottocertainsymbolsandwatchwordsprivatelyagreedupon，likeFreemasons，buttothemaximsandinstinctspropertoalltheworld。
Theyhavenoothercluetoguidethemtotheirobjectbuteitherthedictatesoftheheartortheuniversallyunderstoodsentimentsofsociety，neitherofwhicharelikelytobeinthewrong。Theflamewhichburstsoutandblazesfrompopularsympathyismadeofhonestbuthomelymaterials。Itisnotkindledbysparksofwitorsophistry，nordampedbythecoldcalculationsofself-interest。Themultitudemaybewantonlysetonbyothers，asistoooftenthecase，orbecarriedtoofarintheimpulseofrageanddisappointment；buttheirresentment，whentheyarelefttothemselves，isalmostuniformly，inthefirstinstance，excitedbysomeevidentabuseandwrong；andtheexcessesintowhichtheyrunarisefromthatverywantofforesightandregularsystemwhichisapledgeoftheuprightnessandheartinessoftheirintentions。
Inshort，theonlyclassofpersonstowhomtheabovecourtlychargeofsinisterandcorruptmotivesisnotapplicableisthatbodyofindividualswhichusuallygoesbythenameofthe_People！_
NOTEStoESSAYXI
[1]Wesometimesseeawholeplayhouseintears。Buttheaudienceatatheatre，thoughapublicassembly，arenotapublicbody。TheyarenotIncorporatedintoaframeworkofexclusive，narrow-mindedinterestsoftheirown。Eachindividuallooksoutofhisowninsignificanceatascene，_ideal_perhaps，andforeigntohimself，buttruetonature；
friends，strangers，meetonthecommongroundofhumanity，andthetearsthatspringfromtheirbreastsarethosewhich”sacredpityhasengendered。”TheyareamixedmultitudemeltedIntosympathybyremote，imaginaryevents，notacombinationcementedbypettyviews，andsordid，selfishprejudices。
ESSAYXII
WHETHERACTORSOUGHTTOSITINTHEBOXES？
Ithinknot；andthatforthefollowingreasons，aswellasIcangivethem：——
Actorsbelongtothepublic：theirpersonsarenottheirownproperty。
Theyexhibitthemselvesonthestage：thatisenough，withoutdisplayingthemselvesintheboxesofthetheatre。Iconceivethatanactor，onaccountoftheverycircumstancesofhisprofession，oughttokeephimselfasmuchincognitoaspossible。Heplaysanumberofpartsdisguised，transformedintothemasmuchashecan”byhissopotentart”andheshouldnotdisturbthisborrowedimpressionbyunmaskingbeforecompanymorethanhecanhelp。Lethimgointothepit，ifhepleases，tosee——notintothefirstcircle，tobeseen。Heisseenenoughwithoutthat：heisthecentreofanillusionthatheisboundtosupport，both，asitappearstome，byacertainself-respectwhichshouldrepelidlecuriosity，andbyacertaindeferencetothepublic，inwhomhehasinspiredcertainprejudiceswhichheiscovenantednottobreak。Herepresentsthemajestyofsuccessivekings；hetakestheresponsibilityofheroesandloversonhimself；themantleofgeniusandnaturefallsonhisshoulders；we”pilemillions”ofassociationsonhim，underwhichheshouldbe”buriedquick”andnotperkoutaninauspiciousfaceuponus，withaplain-cutcoat，tosay，”Whatfoolsyouallwere！——IamnotHamlettheDane！”
ItisverywellandinstrictproprietyforMr。Mathews，inhisATHOME，afterhehasbeenimitatinghisinimitableScotchwoman，toslipoutasquickaslightning，andappearintheside-boxshakinghandswithouroldfriendJackBannister。Itaddstooursurpriseattheversatilityofhischangesofplaceandappearance，andhehadbeenbeforeusinhisownpersonduringagreatpartoftheevening。Therewasnoharmdone——noimaginaryspellbroken——nodiscontinuityofthoughtorsentiment。Mr。Mathewsishimself(withoutoffencebeitspoken)bothaclevererandmorerespectablemanthanmanyofthecharactersherepresents。NotsowhenO”erthestagetheGhostofHamletstalks，Othellorages，Desdemonamourns，AndpoorMonimiapourshersoulinlove。
Adifferentfeelingthenprevails：——close，closethesceneuponthem，andneverbreakthatfinephantasmagoriaofthebrain。Orifitmustbedoneatall，letuschoosesomeothertimeandplaceforit：letnoonewantonlydashtheCirecancupfromourlips，ordissolvethespiritofenchantmentintheverypalaceofenchantment。Go，Mr——，andsitsomewhereelse！Whatathingitis，forinstance，foranypartofanactor”sdresstocomeoffunexpectedlywhileheisplaying！Whata_cut_itisuponhimselfandtheaudience！Whatanefforthehastorecoverhimself，andstrugglethroughthisexposureofthenakedtruth！
IthasbeenconsideredasoneofthetriumphsofGarrick”stragicpower，thatonce，whenhewasplayingLear，hiscrownofstrawcameoff，andnobodylaughedortooktheleastnotice，somuchhadheidentifiedhimselfwiththecharacter。Washe，afterthis，topaysolittlerespecttothefeelingshehadinspired，astotearoffhistatteredrobes，andtaketheoldcrazedkingwithhimtoplaythefoolintheboxes？
No；lethimpass。Vexnothispartingspirit，NorontherackofthisroughworldStretchhimoutfarther！
SomeladyissaidtohavefalleninlovewithGarrickfrombeingpresentwhenheplayedthepartofRomeo，onwhichheobserved，thathewouldundertaketocureherofherfollyifshewouldonlycomeandseehiminAbelDrugger。Sothemoderntragedianandfinegentleman，byappearingtoadvantage，andconspicuously，_inpropriapersona，_mayeasilycureusofourpredilectionforalltheprincipalcharactersheshinesin。”Sir！doyouthinkAlexanderlookedo”thisfashioninhislifetime，orwasperfumedso？HadJuliusCaesarsuchanose？orworehisfrillasyoudo？YouhaveslainIdon”tknowhowmanyheroes“withabarebodkin，“thegoldpininyourshirt，andspoiledallthefinelovespeechesyouwillevermakebypickingyourteethwiththatinimitableair！”
Anactor，afterhavingperformedhispartwell，insteadofcourtingfartherdistinction，shouldaffectobscurity，and”stealmostguilty-likeaway”consciousofadmirationthathecansupportnowherebutinhispropersphere，andjealousofhisownandothers”goodopinionofhim，inproportionasheisadarlinginthepubliceye。Hecannotavoidattractingdisproportionateattention：whyshouldhewishtofixitonhimselfinaperfectlyflatandinsignificantpart，viz。
hisowncharacter？Itwasabadcustomtobringauthorsonthestagetocrownthem。_OmneIgnotumpromagnificoest。_Evenprofessedcritics，Ithink，shouldbeshyofputtingthemselvesforwardtoapplaudloudly：
anyoneinacrowdhas”avoicepotential”asthepress：itiseithercommittingtheirpretensionsalittleindiscreetly，orconfirmingtheirownjudgmentbyaclappingofhands。Ifyouonlygoandgivethecuelustily，thehouseseemsinwonderfulaccordwithyouropinions。Anactor，likeaking，shouldonlyappearonstateoccasions。Helosespopularitybytoomuchpublicity；or，accordingtotheproverb，_familiaritybreedscontempt。_Bothcharacterspersonateacertainabstractidea，areseeninafictitiouscostume，andwhentheyhave”shuffledoffthismorethanmortalcoil”theyhadbetterkeepoutoftheway——theactsandsentimentsemanatingfromthemselveswillnotcarryontheillusionofourprepossessions。Ordinarytransactionsdonotgivescopetograceanddignitylikeromanticsituationsorpreparedpageants，andthe_little_isapttoprevailoverthe_great，_ifwecometocounttheinstances。
Themottoofagreatactorshouldbe_autCaesarautnihil。_Idonotseehowwithhiscrown，orplumeoffeathers，hecangetthroughthoselittlebox-doorswithoutstoopingandsqueezinghisartificialimportancetotatters。Theentranceofthestageisarchedsohigh”that_players_maygetthrough，andkeeptheirgorgeousturbanson，withoutgood-morrowtothegods！”
Thetop-tragedianofthedayhastoolargeandsplendidatrainfollowinghimtohaveroomfortheminoneofthedress-boxes。Whenheappearsthere，itshouldbeenlargedexpresslyfortheoccasion；forathisheelsmarchthefigures，infullcostume，ofCato，andBrutus，andCassius，andofhimwiththefalconeye，andOthello，andLear，andcrook-backedRichard，andHamlet，PrinceofDenmark，andnumbersmore，anddemandentrancealongwithhim，shadowstowhichhealonelendsbodilysubstance！”Thegravesyawnandrenderuptheirdeadtopushusfromourstools。”Thereisamightybustleatthedoor，agibberingandsqueakinginthelobbies。Anactor”sretinueisimperial，itpressesupontheimaginationtoomuch，andheshouldthereforeslideunnoticedintothepit。Authors，whoareinamannerhismakersandmasters，sittherecontented——whyshouldnothe？”Heisusedtoshowhimself。”
That，then，istheveryreasonheshouldconcealhispersonatothertimes。Ahabitofostentationshouldnotbereducedtoaprinciple。IfIhadseenthelateGentlemanLewisflutteringinaprominentsituationintheboxes，IshouldhavebeenpuzzledwhethertothinkofhimastheCopperCaptain，orasBobadil，orRanger，orYoungRapid，orLordFoppington，orfiftyotherwhimsicalcharacters；thenIshouldhavegotMundenandQuickandaparcelmoreoftheminmyhead，till”mybrainwouldhavebeenlikeasmoke-jack”：Ishouldnothaveknownwhattomakeofit；butifIhadseenhiminthepit，Ishouldmerelyhaveeyedhimwithrespectfulcuriosity，andhavetoldeveryonethatthatwasGentlemanLewis。Weshouldhaveconcludedfromthecircumstancethathewasamodest，sensibleman：weallknewbeforehandthathecouldshowoffwheneverhepleased！
ThereisoneclassofperformersthatIthinkisquiteexemptfromtheforegoingreasoning，Imean_retiredactors。_Comewhentheywillandwheretheywill，theyarewelcometotheiroldfriends。Theyhaveasgoodarighttositintheboxesaschildrenattheholidays。Buttheydonot，somehow，comeoften。Itisbutamelancholyrecollectionwiththem：——
Thensweet，Nowsadtothinkon！
Mrs。Garrickstillgoesoften，andhearstheapplauseofherhusbandoveragainintheshoutsofthepit。HadMrs。PritchardorMrs。Clivebeenliving，Iamafraidweshouldhaveseenlittleofthem-itwouldhavebeentoo_home_afeelingwiththem。Mrs。Siddonsseldomifevergoes，andyetsheisalmosttheonlythingleftworthseeingthere。SheneednotstayawayonaccountofanytheorythatIcanform。Sheisoutofthepaleofalltheories，andannihilatesallrules。Wherevershesitsthereisgraceandgrandeur，thereistragedypersonified。HerseatistheundividedthroneoftheTragicMuse。Shehadnoneedoftherobes，thesweepingtrain，theornamentsofthestage；inherselfsheisasgreatasanybeingsheeverrepresentedintheripenessandplenitudeofherpower！Ishouldnot，Iconfess，havehadthesameparamountabstractedfeelingatseeingJohnKemblethere，whomIvenerateatadistance，andshouldnothaveknownwhetherhewasplayingoffthegreatmanorthegreatactor：——
Alittlemorethankin，andlessthankind。
Iknowitmaybesaidinanswertoallthispretextofkeepingthecharacteroftheplayerinviolate，”Whatistheremorecommon，infact，thanfortheheroofatragedytospeaktheprologue，orthanfortheheroine，whohasbeenstabbedorpoisoned，torevive，andcomeforwardlaughingintheepilogue？”Astotheepilogue，itisspokentogetridoftheideaofthetragedyaltogether，andtowardoffthefuryofthepit，whomaybebentonitsdamnation。Thegreatestincongruityyoucanhituponis，therefore，themostproperforthispurpose。ButIdenythattheheroofatragedy，ortheprincipalcharacterinit，iseverpitchedupontodelivertheprologue。Itisalways，byprescription，somewalkingshadow，somepoorplayer，whocannotevenspoilapartofanyconsequence。IstherenotMr。Claremontalwaysathandforthispurpose，whomthelatekingpronouncedthreetimestobe”abadactor”？[1]Whatisthereincommonbetweenthataccustomedwaveofthehandandthecockedhatunderthearm，andanypassionorpersonthatcanbebroughtforwardonthestage？ItisnotthatwecanbesaidtoacquireaprejudiceagainstsoharmlessanactorasMr。Claremont：wearebornwithaprejudiceagainstaspeakerofprologues。Itisaninnateidea：anaturalinstinct：thereisaparticularorganinthebrainprovidedforit。Dowenotallhateamanager？Itisnotbecauseheisinsolentorimpertinent，orfondofmakingridiculousspeeches，oranotoriouspuffer，orignorant，ormean，orvain，butitisbecauseweseehiminacoat，waistcoat，andbreeches。Thestageistheworldoffantasy：itisQueenMabthathasinvitedustoherrevelsthere，andallthathavetodowithitshouldwearmotley！
Lastly，therearesomeactorsbyprofessionwhosefacesweliketoseeintheboxesoranywhereelse；butitisbecausetheyarenoactors，butrathergentlemenandscholars，andintheirproperplacesintheboxes，orwherevertheyare。Doesnotanactorhimself，Iwouldask，feelconsciousandawkwardintheboxesifhethinksthatheisknown？Anddoeshenotsitthereinspiteofthisuneasyfeeling，andrunthegauntletofimpertinentlooksandwhispers，onlytogetalittleby-admiration，ashethinks？Itishardlytobesupposedthathecomestoseetheplay——theshow。Hemusthaveenoughofplaysandfinery。
Buthewantstoseeafavourite(perhapsarival)actorinastrikingpart。Thentheplaceforhimtodothisisthepit。Painters，Iknow，alwaysgetascloseuptoapicturetheywanttocopyastheycan；andI
shouldimagineactorswouldwanttodothesame，inordertolookintothetextureandmechanismoftheirart。Eventheatricalcriticscanmakenothingofapartthattheyseefromtheboxes。Ifyousitinthestage-box，yourattentionisdrawnoffbythecompanyandothercircumstances。Ifyougettoadistance(soastobeoutofthereachofnotice)youcanneitherhearnorseewell。Formyself，IwouldassoontakeaseatonthetopoftheMonumenttogiveanaccountofafirstappearance，asgointothesecondorthirdtierofboxestodoit。
Iwent，buttheotherday，withabox-tickettoseeMissFannyBruntoncomeoutinJuliet，andMr。MacreadymakeafirstappearanceinRomeo；
andthoughIwastold(byatolerablejudge)thatthenewJulietwasthemostelegantfigureonthestage，andthatMr。Macready”sRomeowasquitebeautiful，IvowtoGodIknewnothingofit。SolittlecouldI
tellofthematterthatatonetimeImistookMr。HorrebowforMr。
Abbott。IhaveseenMr。KeanplaySirGilesOverreachonenightfromthefrontofthepit，andafewnightsafterfromthefrontboxesfacingthestage。Itwasanotherthingaltogether。Thatwhichhadbeensolatelynothingbutfleshandblood，alivingfibre，”instinctwithfire”
andspirit，wasnobetterthanalittlefantoccinifigure，dartingbackwardsandforwardsonthestage，starting，screaming，andplayinganumberoffantastictricksbeforetheaudience。Icouldaccount，inthelatterinstance，forthelittleapprobationoftheperformancemanifestedaroundme，andalsoforthegeneralscepticismwithrespecttoMr。Kean”sacting，whichhasbeensaidtoprevailamongthosewhocannotcondescendtogointothepit，andhavenotinterestintheorchestra——toseehimact。Theymay，then，stayawayaltogether。Hisfaceistherunningcommentonhisacting，whichreconcilestheaudiencetoit。Withoutthatindextohismind，youarenotpreparedforthevehemenceandsuddennessofhisgestures；hispausesarelong，abrupt，andunaccountable，ifnotfilledupbytheexpression；itisintheworkingofhisfacethatyouseethewrithingandcoilingupofthepassionsbeforetheymaketheirserpent-spring；thelightningofhiseyeprecedesthehoarseburstofthunderfromhisvoice。
Onemaygointotheboxes，indeed，andcriticiseactingandactorswithSterne”sstop-watch，butnototherwise——”“Andbetweenthenominativecaseandtheverb(which，asyourlordshipknows，shouldagreetogetherinnumber，person，etc。)therewasafullpauseofasecondandtwo-thirds。””Butwastheeyesilent——didthelooksaynothing？““I
lookedonlyatthestop-watch，mylord。””Excellentcritic！“”——Ifanyotheractor，indeed，goestoseeMr。Keanact，withaview_toavoidimitation，_thismaybetheplace，orratheritisthewaytorunintoit，foryouseeonlyhisextravagancesanddefects，whicharethemosteasilycarriedaway。Mr。MathewsmaytranslatehimintoanATHOMEevenfromthe_slips！_——Distinguishedactors，then，ought，Iconceive，tosettheexampleofgoingintothepit，wereitonlyfortheirownsakes。I
rememberatriflingcircumstance，whichIworkedupatthetimeintoaconfirmationofthistheoryofmine，engraftedonoldprejudiceandtradition。[2]Ihadgotintothemiddleofthepit，atconsiderableriskofbrokenbones，toseeMr。Keaninoneofhisearlyparts，whenI
perceivedtwoyoungmenseatedalittlebehindme，withacertainspaceleftroundthem。Theyweredressedintheheightofthefashion，inlightdrab-colouredgreatcoats，andwiththeirshirt-sleevesdrawndownovertheirhands，atatimewhenthiswasnotsocommonasithassincebecome。Itookthemforyoungersonsofsomeoldfamilyatleast。Oneofthem，thatwasverygood-looking，IthoughtmightbeLordByron，andhiscompanionmightbeMr。Hobhouse。Theyseemedtohavewanderedfromanothersphereofthisourplanettowitnessamasterlyperformancetotheutmostadvantage。Thisstampedthething。Theywere，undoubtedly，youngmenofrankandfashion；buttheirtastewasgreaterthantheirregardforappearances。Thepitwas，afterall，thetrueresortofthoroughbredcriticsandamateurs。Whentherewasanythingworthseeing，thiswastheplace；andIbegantofeelasortofreflectedimportanceintheconsciousnessthatIalsowasacritic。Nobodysatnearthem——itwouldhaveseemedlikeanintrusion。Notasyllablewasuttered——TheyweretwoclerksintheVictuallingOffice！
WhatIwouldinsiston，then，isthis——thatforMr。Kean，orMr。Young，orMr。Macready，oranyofthosethatare”criedoutuponinthetopofthecompass”toobtrudethemselvesvoluntarilyorostentatiouslyuponournotice，whentheyareoutofcharacter，isasolecismintheatricals。Forthemtothrustthemselvesforwardbeforethescenes，istodragusbehindthemagainstourwill，thanwhichnothingcanbemorefataltoatruepassionforthestage，andwhichisaprivilegethatshouldbekeptsacredforimpertinentcuriosity。Oh！whileIlive，letmenotbeadmitted(underspecialfavour)toanactor”sdressing-room。LetmenotseehowCatopainted，orhowCaesarcombed！
Letmenotmeettheprompt-boysinthepassage，norseethehalf-lightedcandlesstuckagainstthebarewalls，norhearthecreakingofmachines，orthefiddlerslaughing；norseeaColumbinepractisingapirouetteinsobersadness，norMr。Grimaldi”sfacedropfrommirthtosuddenmelancholyashepassestheside-scene，asifashadowcrossedit，norwitnessthelong-chinnedgenerationofthepantomimesittwirlingtheirthumbs，noroverlookthefellowwhoholdsthecandleforthemooninthescenebetweenLorenzoandJessica！SparemethisinsightintosecretsI
amnotboundtoknow。Thestageisnotamistressthatwearesworntoundress。Whyshouldwelookbehindtheglassoffashion？Whyshouldweprickthebubblethatreflectstheworld，andturnittoalittlesoapandwater？Trustalittletofirstappearances——leavesomethingtofancy。Iobservethatthegreatpuppetsoftherealstage，whothemselvesplayagrandpart，liketogetintotheboxesoverthestage；
wheretheyseenothingfromtheproperpointofview，butpeepandpryintowhatisgoingonlikeamagpielookingintoamarrow-bone。Thisisjustlikethem。Sotheylookdownuponhumanlife，ofwhichtheyareignorant。Theyseetheexitsandentrancesoftheplayers，somethingthattheysuspectismeanttobekeptfromthem(fortheythinktheyarealwaysliabletobeimposedupon)：thepettypageantofanhourendswitheachscenelongbeforethecatastrophe，andthetragedyoflifeisturnedtofarceundertheireyes。Thesepeoplelaughloudatapantomime，andaredelightedwithclownsandpantaloons。Theypaynoattentiontoanythingelse。Thestage-boxesexistincontemptofthestageandcommonsense。Theprivateboxes，onthecontrary，shouldbereservedasthereceptaclefortheofficersofstateandgreatdiplomaticcharacters，whowishtoavoid，ratherthancourtpopularnotice！
NOTEStoESSAYXII
[1]Mr。MundenandMr。ClaremontwentoneSundaytoWindsortoseetheking。Theypassedwithotherspectatorsonceortwice：atlast，hislatemajestydistinguishedMundeninthecrowdandcalledhimtohim。
Aftertreatinghimwithmuchcordialfamiliarity，thekingsaid，”And，pray，whoisthatwithyou？”Munden，withmanycongees，andcontortionsofface，replied，”Anpleaseyourmajesty，it”sMr。ClaremontoftheTheatreRoyalDruryLane。””Oh！yes”saidtheking，”Iknowhimwell——abadactor，abadactor，abadactor！”Whykingsshouldrepeatwhattheysaythreetimesisodd：theirsayingitonceisquiteenough。
IhavealwayslikedMr。Claremont”sfacesinceIheardthisanecdote，andperhapsthetellingitmayhavethesameeffectonotherpeople。
[2]Thetrunk-maker，Igrant，inthe_Spectator”s_time，satinthetwo-shillinggallery。Butthatwasinthe_Spectator”s_time，andnotinthedaysofMr。SmirkeandMr。Wyatt。
ESSAYXIII
ONTHEDISADVANTAGESOFINTELLECTUALSUPERIORITY
Thechiefdisadvantageofknowingmoreandseeingfartherthanothers，isnottobegenerallyunderstood。Amanis，inconsequenceofthis，liabletostartparadoxes，whichimmediatelytransporthimbeyondthereachofthecommon-placereader。Apersonspeakingonceinaslightingmannerofaveryoriginal-mindedman，receivedforanswer，”Hestridesonsofarbeforeyouthathedwindlesinthedistance！“
Petrarchcomplainsthat”Naturehadmadehimdifferentfromotherpeople”——_singular”d”altrigenti。_Thegreathappinessoflifeis，tobeneitherbetternorworsethanthegeneralrunofthoseyoumeetwith。
Ifyouarebeneaththem，youaretrampledupon；ifyouareabovethem，yousoonfindamortifyinglevelintheirdifferencetowhatyouparticularlypiqueyourselfupon。Whatistheuseofbeingmoralinanight-cellar，orwiseinBedlam？”Tobehonest，asthisworldgoes，istobeonemanpickedoutoftenthousand。”SosaysShakespear；andthecommentatorshavenotaddedthat，underthesecircumstances，amanismorelikelytobecomethebuttofslanderthanthemarkofadmirationforbeingso。”Hownow，thouparticularfellow？”[1]isthecommonanswertoallsuchout-of-the-waypretensions。BynotdoingasthoseatRomedo，wecutourselvesofffromgood-fellowshipandsociety。Wespeakanotherlanguage，havenotionsofourown，andaretreatedasofadifferentspecies。Nothingcanbemoreawkwardthantointrudewithanysuchfar-fetchedideasamongthecommonherd，whowillbesuretoStandallastonished，likeasortofsteers，”MongstwhomsomebeastofstrangeandforeignraceUnwaresischanced，farstrayingfromhispeers：
Sowilltheirghastlygazebetraytheirhiddenfears。
Ignoranceofanother”smeaningisasufficientcauseoffear，andfearproduceshatred：hencethesuspicionandrancourentertainedagainstallthosewhosetupforgreaterrefinementandwisdomthantheirneighbours。Itisinvaintothinkofsofteningdownthisspiritofhostilitybysimplicityofmanners，orbycondescendingtopersonsoflowestate。Themoreyoucondescend，themoretheywillpresumeuponit；theywillfearyouless，buthateyoumore；andwillbethemoredeterminedtotaketheirrevengeonyouforasuperiorityastowhichtheyareentirelyinthedark，andofwhichyouyourselfseemtoentertainconsiderabledoubt。Allthehumilityintheworldwillonlypassforweaknessandfolly。Theyhavenonotionofsuchathing。Theyalwaysputtheirbestfootforward；andarguethatyouwoulddothesameifyouhadanysuchwonderfultalentsaspeoplesay。Youhadbetter，therefore，playoffthegreatmanatonce——hector，swagger，talkbig，andridethehighhorseoverthem：youmaybythismeansextortoutwardrespectorcommoncivility；butyouwillgetnothing(withlowpeople)
byforbearanceandgood-naturebutopeninsultorsilentcontempt。
Coleridgealwaystalkstopeopleaboutwhattheydon”tunderstand：I，forone，endeavourtotalktothemaboutwhattheydounderstand，andfindIonlygetthemoreill-willbyit。TheyconceiveIdonotthinkthemcapableofanythingbetter；thatIdonotthinkitworthwhile，asthevulgarsayingis，to_throwawordtoadog。_IoncecomplainedofthistoColeridge，thinkingithardIshouldbesenttoCoventryfornotmakingaprodigiousdisplay。Hesaid：”Asyouassumeacertaincharacter，yououghttoproduceyourcredentials。Itisataxuponpeople”sgood-naturetoadmitsuperiorityofanykind，evenwherethereisthemostevidentproofofit；butitistoohardataskfortheimaginationtoadmititwithoutanyapparentgroundatall。”
Thereisnotagreatererrorthantosupposethatyouavoidtheenvy，malice，anduncharitableness，socommonintheworld，bygoingamongpeoplewithoutpretensions。Therearenopeoplewhohavenopretensions；orthefewertheirpretensions，thelesstheycanaffordtoacknowledgeyourswithoutsomesortofvaluereceived。Themoreinformationindividualspossess，orthemoretheyhaverefineduponanysubject，themorereadilycantheyconceiveandadmitthesamekindofsuperioritytothemselvesthattheyfeeloverothers。Butfromthelow，dull，levelsinkofignoranceandvulgarity，noideaorloveofexcellencecanarise。Youthinkyouaredoingmightywellwiththem；
thatyouarelayingasidethebuckramofpedantryandpretence，andgettingthecharacterofaplain，unassuming，goodsortoffellow。Itwillnotdo。Allthewhilethatyouaremakingthesefamiliaradvances，andwantingtobeatyourease，theyaretryingtorecoverthewindofyou。Youmayforgetthatyouareanauthor，anartist，orwhatnot——theydonotforgetthattheyarenothing，norbateonejotoftheirdesiretoproveyouinthesamepredicament。Theytakeholdofsomecircumstanceinyourdress；yourmannerofenteringaroomisdifferentfromthatofotherpeople；youdonoteatvegetables——that”sodd；youhaveaparticularphrase，whichtheyrepeat，andthisbecomesasortofstandingjoke；youlookgrave，orill；youtalk，oraremoresilentthanusual；youareinoroutofpocket：allthesepetty，inconsiderablecircumstances，inwhichyouresemble，orareunlikeotherpeople，formsomanycountsintheindictmentwhichisgoingonintheirimaginationsagainstyou，andaresomanycontradictionsinyourcharacter。Inanyoneelsetheywouldpassunnoticed，butinapersonofwhomtheyhadheardsomuchtheycannotmakethemoutatall。Meanwhile，thosethingsinwhichyoumayreallyexcelgofornothing，becausetheycannotjudgeofthem。Theyspeakhighlyofsomebookwhichyoudonotlike，andthereforeyoumakenoanswer。YourecommendthemtogoandseesomePictureinwhichtheydonotfindmuchtoadmire。Howareyoutoconvincethemthatyouareright？Canyoumakethemperceivethatthefaultisinthem，andnotinthepicture，unlessyoucouldgivethemyourknowledge？TheyhardlydistinguishthedifferencebetweenaCorreggioandacommondaub。Doesthisbringyouanynearertoanunderstanding？Themoreyouknowofthedifference，themoredeeplyyoufeelit，orthemoreearnestlyyouwishtoconveyit，thefartherdoyoufindyourselfremovedtoanimmeasurabledistancefromthepossibilityofmakingthementerintoviewsandfeelingsofwhichtheyhavenoteventhefirstrudiments。Youcannotmakethemseewithyoureyes，andtheymustjudgeforthemselves。
Intellectualisnotlikebodilystrength。Youhavenoholdoftheunderstandingofothersbutbytheirsympathy。Yourknowing，infact，somuchmoreaboutasubjectdoesnotgiveyouasuperiority，thatis，apoweroverthem，butonlyrendersitthemoreimpossibleforyoutomaketheleastimpressiononthem。Isit，then，anadvantagetoyou？Itmaybe，asitrelatestoyourownprivatesatisfaction，butitplacesagreatergulfbetweenyouandsociety。Itthrowsstumbling-blocksinyourwayateveryturn。Allthatyoutakemostprideandpleasureinislostuponthevulgareye。Whattheyarepleasedwithisamatterofindifferenceorofdistastetoyou。Inseeinganumberofpersonsturnoveraportfolioofprintsfromdifferentmasters，whatatrialitistothepatience，howitjarsthenervestohearthemfallintorapturesatsomecommon-placeflimsything，andpassoversomedivineexpressionofcountenancewithoutnotice，orwitharemarkthatitisverysingular-looking？Howuselessitisinsuchcasestofretorargue，orremonstrate？Isitnotquiteaswelltobewithoutallthishypercritical，fastidiousknowledge，andtobepleasedordispleasedasithappens，orstruckwiththefirstfaultorbeautythatispointedoutbyothers？Iwouldbegladalmosttochangemyacquaintancewithpictures，withbooks，and，certainly，whatIknowofmankind，foranybody”signoranceofthem！
Itisrecordedinthelifeofsomeworthy(whosenameIforget)thathewasoneofthose”wholovedhospitalityandrespect”：andIprofesstobelongtothesameclassificationofmankind。Civilityiswithmeajewel。Ilikealittlecomfortablecheer，andcareless，indolentchat，Ihatetobealwayswise，oraimingatwisdom。Ihaveenoughtodowithliterarycabals，questions，critics，actors，essay-writing，withouttakingthemoutwithmeforrecreation，andintoallcompanies。Iwishatthesetimestopassforagood-humouredfellow；andgood-willisallIaskinreturntomakegoodcompany。Idonotdesiretobealwaysposingmyselforotherswiththequestionsoffate，free-will，foreknowledgeabsolute，etc。Imustunbendsometimes。Imustoccasionallyliefallow。ThekindofconversationthatIaffectmostiswhatsortofadayitis，andwhetheritislikelytorainorholdupfineforto-morrow。ThisIconsiderasenjoyingthe_otiumcumdignitate，_astheendandprivilegeofalifeofstudy。Iwouldresignmyselftothisstateofeasyindifference，butIfindIcannot。Imustmaintainacertainpretension，whichisfarenoughfrommywish。Imustheputonmydefence，Imusttakeupthegauntletcontinually，orIfindIloseground。”Iamnothing，ifnotcritical。”WhileIamthinkingwhato”clockitis，orhowIcametoblunderinquotingawell-knownpassage，asifIhaddoneitonpurpose，othersarethinkingwhetherI
amnotreallyasdullafellowasIamsometimessaidtobe。Ifadrizzlingshowerpattersagainstthewindows，itputsmeinmindofamildspringrain，fromwhichIretiredtwentyyearsago，intoalittlepublic-housenearWeminShropshire，andwhileIsawtheplantsandshrubsbeforethedoorimbibethedewymoisture，quaffedaglassofsparklingale，andwalkedhomeintheduskofevening，brightertomethannoondaysunsatpresentare！WouldIindulgethisfeeling？Invain。Theyaskmewhatnewsthereis，andstareifIsayIdon”tknow。
Ifanewactresshascomeout，whymustIhaveseenher？Ifanewnovelhasappeared，whymustIhavereadit？I，atonetime，usedtogoandtakeahandatcribbagewithafriend，andafterwardsdiscussacoldsirloinofbeef，andthrowoutafewlackadaisicalremarks，inawaytopleasemyself，butitwouldnotdolong。Isetuplittlepretension，andthereforethelittlethatIdidsetupwastakenfromme。AsIsaidnothingonthatsubjectmyself，itwascontinuallythrowninmyteeththatIwasanauthor。Fromhavingmeatthisdisadvantage，myfriendwantedtopegonaholeortwointhegame，andwasdispleasedifI
wouldnotlethim。IfIwonoffhim，itwashardheshouldbebeatbyanauthor。Ifhewon，itwouldbestrangeifhedidnotunderstandthegamebetterthanIdid。IfImentionedmyfavouritegameofrackets，therewasageneralsilence，asifthiswasmyweakpoint。IfI
complainedofbeingill，itwasaskedwhyImademyselfso。IfIsaidsuchanactorhadplayedapartwell，theanswerwas，therewasadifferentaccountinoneofthenewspapers。Ifanyallusionwasmadetomenofletters，therewasasuppressedsmile。IfItoldahumorousstory，itwasdifficulttosaywhetherthelaughwasatmeoratthenarrative。Thewifehatedmeformyuglyface；theservants，becauseI
couldnotalwaysgetthemticketsfortheplay，andbecausetheycouldnottellexactlywhatanauthormeant。IfaparagraphappearedagainstanythingIhadwritten，Ifounditwasreadytherebeforeme，andIwastoundergoaregular_roasting。_IsubmittedtoallthistillIwastired，andthenIgaveitup。
Oneofthemiseriesofintellectualpretensionsis，thatnine-tenthsofthoseyoucomeincontactwithdonotknowwhetheryouareanimpostorornot。IdreadthatcertainanonymouscriticismsshouldgetintothehandsofservantswhereIgo，orthatmyhatterorshoemakershouldhappentoreadthem，whocannotpossiblytellwhethertheyarewellorillfounded。Theignoranceoftheworldleavesoneatthemercyofitsmalice。Therearepeoplewhosegoodopinionorgood-willyouwant，settingasideallliterarypretensions；anditishardtolosebyanillreport(whichyouhavenomeansofrectifying)whatyoucannotgainbyagoodone。Aftera_diatribe_inthe_Quarterly_(whichistakeninbyagentlemanwhooccupiesmyoldapartmentsonthefirstfloor)，mylandlordbringsmeuphisbill(ofsomestanding)，andonmyofferingtogivehimsomuchinmoneyandanoteofhandfortherest，shakeshishead，andsaysheisafraidhecouldmakenouseofit。Soonafter，thedaughtercomesin，and，onmymentioningthecircumstancecarelesslytoher，repliesgravely，”thatindeedherfatherhasbeenalmostruinedbybills。”_Thisistheunkindestcutofall。_ItisinvainformetoendeavourtoexplainthatthepublicationinwhichIamabusedisameregovernmentengine——anorganofapoliticalfaction。Theyknownothingaboutthat。Theyonlyknowsuchandsuchimputationsarethrownout；
andthemoreItrytoremovethem，themoretheythinkthereissometruthinthem。PerhapsthepeopleofthehousearestrongTories——governmentagentsofsomesort。Isitformetoenlightentheirignorance？IfIsay，Ioncewroteathingcalled_PrinceMaurice”sParrot_，andan_EssayontheRegalCharacter_，intheformerofwhichallusionismadetoanoblemarquis，andinthelattertoagreatpersonage(soatleast，Iamtold，ithasbeenconstrued)，andthatMr。
Crokerhasperemptoryinstructionstoretaliate，theycannotconceivewhatconnectiontherecanbebetweenmeandsuchdistinguishedcharacters。Icangetnofarther。Suchisthemiseryofpretensionsbeyondyoursituation，andwhicharenotbackedbyanyexternalsymbolsofwealthorrank，intelligibletoallmankind！
Theimpertinenceofadmirationisscarcelymoretolerablethanthedemonstrationsofcontempt。IhaveknownapersonwhomIhadneverseenbeforebesiegemealldinner-timewithaskingwhatarticlesIhadwritteninthe_EdinburghReview？_Iwasatlastashamedtoanswertomysplendidsinsinthatway。Otherswillpickoutsomethingnotyours，andsaytheyaresurenooneelsecouldwriteit。Bythefirstsentencetheycanalwaystellyourstyle。NowIhatemystyletobeknown，asI
hateall_idiosyncrasy。_Theseobsequiousflattererscouldnotpaymeaworsecompliment。Thentherearethosewhomakeapointofreadingeverythingyouwrite(whichisfulsome)；whileothers，moreprovoking，regularlylendyourworkstoafriendassoonastheyreceivethem。
Theyprettywellknowyournotionsonthedifferentsubjects，fromhavingheardyoutalkaboutthem。Besides，theyhaveagreatervalueforyourpersonalcharacterthantheyhaveforyourwritings。Youexplainthingsbetterinacommonway，whenyouarenotaimingateffect。Otherstellyouofthefaultstheyhaveheardfoundwithyourlastbook，andthattheydefendyourstyleingeneralfromachargeofobscurity。Afriendoncetoldmeofaquarrelhehadhadwithanearrelation，whodeniedthatIknewhowtospellthecommonestwords。
Thesearecomfortableconfidentialcommunicationstowhichauthorswhohavetheirfriendsandexcusersaresubject。Agentlemantoldmethataladyhadobjectedtomyuseoftheword_learneder_asbadgrammar。HesaidhethoughtitapitythatIdidnottakemorecare，butthattheladywasperhapsprejudiced，asherhusbandheldagovernmentoffice。I
lookedfortheword，andfounditinamottofromButler。Iwaspiqued，anddesiredhimtotellthefaircriticthatthefaultwasnotinme，butinonewhohadfarmorewit，morelearning，andloyaltythanIcouldpretendto。Then，again，somewillpickouttheflattestthingofyourstheycanfindtoloaditwithpanegyrics；andotherstellyou(bywayoflettingyouseehowhightheyrankyourcapacity)thatyourbestpassagesarefailures。Lambhasaknackoftasting(orashewouldsay，_palating_)theinsipid。LeighHunthasatrickofturningawayfromtherelishingmorselsyouputonhisplate。Thereisnogettingthestartofsomepeople。Dowhatyouwill，theycandoitbetter；meetwithwhatsuccessyoumay，theirowngoodopinionstandstheminbetterstead，andrunsbeforetheapplauseoftheworld。Ionceshowedapersonofthisoverweeningturn(withnosmalltriumph，Iconfess)aletterofaveryflatteringdescriptionIhadreceivedfromthecelebratedCountStendhal，datedRome。Hereturneditwithasmileofindifference，andsaid，hehadhadaletterfromRomehimselfthedaybefore，fromhisfriendS——！Ididnotthinkthis”germanetothematter。”GodwinpretendsIneverwroteanythingworthafarthingbutmy”AnswerstoVetus”andthatIfailaltogetherwhenIattempttowriteanessay，oranythinginashortcompass。
Whatcanonedoinsuchcases？ShallIconfessaweakness？Theonlyset-offIknowtotheserebuffsandmortificationsissometimesinanaccidentalnoticeorinvoluntarymarkofdistinctionfromastranger。I
feeltheforceofHorace”s_digitomonstrari_——Iliketobepointedoutinthestreet，ortohearpeopleaskinMr。Powell”scourt，_WhichisMr。Hazlitt？_Thisistomeapleasingextensionofone”spersonalidentity。Yournamesorepeatedleavesanecholikemusicontheear：
itstirsthebloodlikethesoundofatrumpet。Itshowsthatotherpeoplearecurioustoseeyou；thattheythinkofyou，andfeelaninterestinyouwithoutyourknowingit。Thisisabolstertoleanupon；aliningtoyourpoor，shivering，threadbareopinionofyourself。
Youwantsomesuchcordialtoexhaustedspirits，andrelieftothedrearinessofabstractspeculation。Youaresomething；and，fromoccupyingaplaceinthethoughtsofothers，thinklesscontemptuouslyofyourself。Youarethebetterabletorunthegauntletofprejudiceandvulgarabuse。Itispleasantinthiswaytohaveyouropinionquotedagainstyourself，andyourownsayingsrepeatedtoyouasgoodthings。Iwasoncetalkingtoanintelligentmaninthepit，andcriticisingMr。Knight”sperformanceofFilch。”Ah！”hesaid，”littleSimmonswasthefellowtoplaythatcharacter。”Headded，”Therewasamostexcellentremarkmadeuponhisactingitinthe_Examiner_(Ithinkitwas)——_Thathelookedasifhehadthegallowsinoneeyeandaprettygirlintheother。_”Isaidnothing，butwasinremarkablygoodhumourtherestoftheevening。Ihaveseldombeeninacompanywherefives-playinghasbeentalkedofbutsomeonehasaskedinthecourseofit，”Pray，didanyoneeverseeanaccountofoneCavanaghthatappearedsometimebackinmostofthepapers？Isitknownwhowroteit？”Thesearetryingmoments。Ihadatriumphoveraperson，whosenameIwillnotmention，onthefollowingoccasion。IhappenedtobesayingsomethingaboutBurke，andwasexpressingmyopinionofhistalentsinnomeasuredterms，whenthisgentlemaninterruptedmebysayinghethought，forhispart，thatBurkehadbeengreatlyoverrated，andthenadded，inacarelessway，”Pray，didyoureadacharacterofhiminthelastnumberofthe——？””Iwroteit！”——Icouldnotresisttheantithesis，butwasafterwardsashamedofmymomentarypetulance。YetnoonethatIfindeversparesme。
Somepersonsseekoutandobtrudethemselvesonpubliccharactersinorder，asitmightseem，topickouttheirfailings，andafterwardsbetraythem。Appearancesareforit，buttruthandabetterknowledgeofnatureareagainstthisinterpretationofthematter。Sycophantsandflatterersareundesignedlytreacherousandfickle。Theyarepronetoadmireinordinatelyatfirst，andnotfindingaconstantsupplyoffoodforthiskindofsicklyappetite，takeadistastetotheobjectoftheiridolatry。Tobeevenwiththemselvesfortheircredulity，theysharpentheirwitstospyoutfaults，andaredelightedtofindthatthisanswersbetterthantheirfirstemployment。Itisacourseofstudy，”lively，audible，andfullofvent。”Theyhavetheorganofwonderandtheorganoffearinaprominentdegree。Thefirstrequiresnewobjectsofadmirationtosatisfyitsuneasycravings：thesecondmakesthemcrouchtopowerwhereveritsshiftingstandardappears，andwillingtocurryfavourwithallparties，andreadytobetrayanyoutofsheerweaknessandservility。Idonotthinktheymeananyharm：atleast，I
canlookatthisobliquitywithindifferenceinmyownparticularcase。
IhavebeenmoredisposedtoresentitasIhaveseenitpractiseduponothers，whereIhavebeenbetterabletojudgeoftheextentofthemischief，andtheheartlessnessandidiotfollyitdiscovered。
Idonotthinkgreatintellectualattainmentsareanyrecommendationtothewomen。Theypuzzlethem，andareadiversiontothemainquestion。
Ifscholarstalktoladiesofwhattheyunderstand，theirhearersarenonethewiser：iftheytalkofotherthings，theyprovethemselvesfools。TheconversationbetweenAngelicaandForesightin_LoveforLove_isareceiptinfullforallsuchoverstrainednonsense：whileheiswanderingamongthesignsofthezodiac，sheisstandinga-tiptoeontheearth。Ithasbeenremarkedthatpoetsdonotchoosemistressesverywisely。Ibelieveitisnotchoice，butnecessity。IftheycouldthrowthehandkerchiefliketheGrandTurk，Iimagineweshouldseescarcemortals，butrathergoddesses，surroundingtheirsteps，andeachexclaiming，withLordByron”sownIonianmaid——
Soshaltthoufindmeeveratthyside，Hereandhereafter，ifthelastmaybe！
Ah！no，thesearebespoke，carriedofbymenofmortal，notofetherealmould，andthenceforththepoetfromwhosemindtheideasofloveandbeautyareinseparableasdreamsfromsleep，goesontheforlornhopeofthepassion，anddressesupthefirstDulcineathatwilltakecompassiononhiminallthecoloursoffancy。Whatbootsittocomplainifthedelusionlastsforlife，andtherainbowstillpaintsitsforminthecloud？
ThereisonemistakeIwouldwish，ifpossible，tocorrect。Menofletters，artists，andothersnotsucceedingwithwomeninacertainrankoflife，thinktheobjectionistotheirwantoffortune，andthattheyshallstandabetterchancebydescendinglower，whereonlytheirgoodqualitiesortalentswillbethoughtof。Oh！worseandworse。Theobjectionistothemselves，nottotheirfortune——totheirabstraction，totheirabsenceofmind，totheirunintelligibleandromanticnotions。
Womenofeducationmayhaveaglimpseoftheirmeaning，maygetacluetotheircharacter，buttoallotherstheyarethickdarkness。Ifthemistresssmilesattheiridealadvances，themaidwilllaughoutright；
shewillthrowwateroveryou，gethersistertolisten，sendhersweethearttoaskyouwhatyoumean，willsetthevillageorthehouseuponyourback；itwillbeafarce，acomedy，astandingjestforayear，andthenthemurderwillout。ScholarsshouldbeswornatHighgate。Theyarenomatchforchambermaids，orwenchesatlodging-houses。Theyhadbettertrytheirhandsonheiressesorladiesofquality。Theselasthavehighnotionsofthemselvesthatmayfitsomeofyourepithets！Theyareabovemortality；soareyourthoughts！
Butwithlowlife，trick，ignorance，andcunning，youhavenothingincommon。Whoeveryouare，thatthinkyoucanmakeacompromiseoraconquesttherebygoodnatureorgoodsense，bewarnedbafriendlyvoice，andretreatintimefromtheunequalcontest。
If，asIhavesaidabove，scholarsarenomatchforchambermaids，ontheotherhandgentlemenarenomatchforblackguards。Theformerareontheirhonour，actonthesquare；thelattertakealladvantages，andhavenoideaofanyotherprinciple。Itisastonishinghowsoonafellowwithouteducationwilllearntocheat。Heisimpervioustoanyrayofliberalknowledge；hisunderstandingisNotpierceablebypowerofanystar——
butitisporoustoallsortsoftricks，chicanery，stratagems，andknavery，bywhichanythingistobegot。Mrs。Peachum，indeed，says，thattosucceedatthegaming-table，thecandidateshouldhavetheeducationofanobleman。Idonotknowhowfarthisexamplecontradictsmytheory。Ithinkitisarulethatmeninbusinessshouldnotbetaughtotherthings。Anyonewillbealmostsuretomakemoneywhohasnootherideainhishead。Acollegeeducation，orintensestudyofabstracttruth，willnotenableamantodriveabargain，tooverreachanother，oreventoguardhimselffrombeingoverreached。AsShakespearsays，that”tohaveagoodfaceistheeffectofstudy，butreadingandwritingcomebynature”；soitmightbeargued，thattobeaknaveisthegiftoffortune，buttoplaythefooltoadvantageitisnecessarytobealearnedman。Thebestpoliticiansarenotthosewhoaredeeplygroundedinmathematicalorinethicalscience。Rulesstandinthewayofexpediency。Manyamanhasbeenhinderedfrompushinghisfortuneintheworldbyanearlycultivationofhismoralsense，andhasrepentedofitatleisureduringtherestofhislife。Ashrewdmansaidofmyfather，thathewouldnotsendasonofhistoschooltohimonanyaccount，forthatbyteachinghimtospeakthetruthhewoulddisqualifyhimfromgettinghislivingintheworld！
Itishardlynecessarytoaddanyillustrationtoprovethatthemostoriginalandprofoundthinkersarenotalwaysthemostsuccessfulorpopularwriters。Thisisnotmerelyatemporarydisadvantage；butmanygreatphilosophershavenotonlybeenscoutedwhiletheywereliving，butforgottenassoonastheyweredead。ThenameofHobbesisperhapssufficienttoexplainthisassertion。ButIdonotwishtogofartherintothispartofthesubject，whichisobviousinitself。Ihavesaid，Ibelieve，enoughtotakeofftheairofparadoxwhichhangsoverthetitleofthisEssay。
NOTEStoESSAYXIII
[1]JackCade”ssalutationtoonewhotriestorecommendhimselfbysayinghecanwriteandread——see_HenryVI。_PartSecond。
ESSAYXIV
ONPATRONAGEANDPUFFING
Agentleusher，Vanitybyname——Spenser。
Aladywascomplainingtoafriendofmineofthecredulityofpeopleinattendingtoquackadvertisements，andwonderingwhocouldbetakeninbythem”forthatshehadneverboughtbutonehalf-guineabottleofDr——”sElixirofLife，andithaddonehernosortofgood！”Thisanecdoteseemedtoexplainprettywellwhatmadeitworththedoctor”swhiletoadvertisehiswaresineverynewspaperinthekingdom。Hewouldnodoubtbesatisfiedifeverydelicate，scepticalinvalidinhismajesty”sdominionsgavehisElixironetrial，merelytoshowtheabsurdityofthething。Weaffecttolaughatthefollyofthosewhoputfaithinnostrums，butarewillingtoseeourselveswhetherthereisanytruthinthem。
Thereisastrongtendencyinthehumanmindtoflatteritselfwithsecrethopes，withsomeluckyreservationinourownfavour，thoughreasonmaypointoutthegrossnessofthetrickingeneral；and，besides，thereisawonderfulpowerinwords，formedintoregularpropositions，andprintedincapitalletters，todrawtheassentafterthem，tillwehaveproofoftheirfallacy。Theignorantandidlebelievewhattheyread，asScotchphilosophersdemonstratetheexistenceofamaterialworld，andotherlearnedpropositions，fromtheevidenceoftheirsenses。Theocularproofisallthatiswantingineithercase。Ashypocrisyissaidtobethehighestcomplimenttovirtue，theartoflyingisthestrongestacknowledgmentoftheforceoftruth。Wecanhardly_believe_athingtobealie，thoughwe_know_ittobeso。
The”puffdirect”evenasitstandsinthecolumnsofthe_Times_
newspaper，brandedwiththetitleofAdvertisementbeforeit，claimssomesortofattentionandrespectforthemeritsthatitdiscloses，thoughwethinkthecandidateforpublicfavourandsupporthashitupon(perhaps)aninjudiciouswayoflayingthembeforetheworld。Stilltheremaybesomethinginthem；andeventheoutrageousimprobabilityandextravaganceofthestatementontheveryfaceofitstaggerus，andleaveahankeringtoinquirefartherintoit，becausewethinktheadvertiserwouldhardlyhavetheimpudencetohazardsuchbarefacedabsurditieswithoutsomefoundation。Suchisthestrengthoftheassociationbetweenwordsandthingsinthemind——somuchoftenermustourcredulityhavebeenjustifiedbytheeventthanimposedupon。Ifeverysecondstoryweheardwasaninvention，weshouldloseourmechanicaldispositiontotrusttothemeaningofsounds，justaswhenwehavemetwithanumberofcounterfeitpiecesofcoin，wesuspectgoodones；butourimplicitassenttowhatwehearisaproofhowmuchmoresincerityandgoodfaiththereisinthesumtotalofourdealingswithoneanotherthanartificeandimposture。”Toelevateandsurprise”isthegreatartofquackeryandpuffing；toraisealivelyandexaggeratedimageinthemind，andtakeitbysurprisebeforeitcanrecoverbreath，asitwere；sothatbyhavingbeencaughtinthetrap，itisunwillingtoretractentirely——hasasecretdesiretofinditselfintheright，andadeterminationtoseewhetheritisornot。Describeapictureas_lofty，__imposing，_and_grand，_thesewordsexcitecertainideasinthemindlikethesoundofatrumpet，whicharenottobequelled，exceptbyseeingthepictureitself，noreventhen，ifitisviewedbythehelpofacatalogue，writtenexpresslyfortheoccasionbytheartisthimself。Itisnottobesupposedthat_he_wouldsaysuchthingsofhispictureunlesstheywereallowedbyalltheworld；andherepeatsthem，onthisgentleunderstanding，tillalltheworldallowsthem。[1]SoReputationrunsinaviciouscircle，andMeritlimpsbehindit，mortifiedandabashedatitsowninsignificance。Ithasbeensaidthatthetestoffameorpopularityistoconsiderthenumberoftimesyournameisrepeatedbyothers，orisbroughttotheirrecollectioninthecourseofayear。Atthisrate，amanhashisreputationinhisownhands，and，bythehelpofpuffingandthepress，mayforestallthevoiceofposterity，andstunthe”groundling”earofhiscontemporaries。Anameletoffinyourhearingcontinually，withsomebouncingepithetaffixedtoit，startlesyoulikethereportofapistolcloseatyourcar：youcannothelptheeffectupontheimagination，thoughyouknowitisperfectlyharmless——_voxetpraetereanihil。_So，ifyouseethesamenamestaringyouinthefaceingreatlettersatthecornerofeverystreet，youinvoluntarilythinktheownerofitmustbeagreatmantooccupysolargeaspaceintheeyeofthetown。Theappealismade，inthefirstinstance，tothesenses，butitsinksbelowthesurfaceintothemind。
Therearesome，indeed，whopublishtheirowndisgrace，andmaketheirnamesacommonby-wordandnuisance，notorietybeingallthattheywant。
AquackgetshimselfsurreptitiouslydubbedDoctororKnight；andthoughyoumaylaughinhisface，itpaysexpenses。Parollesandhisdrumtypifymanyamodernadventurerandcourt-candidateforunearnedlaurelsandunblushinghonours。Ofallpuffs，lotterypuffsarethemostingeniousandmostinnocent。Acollectionofthemwouldmakeanamusing_Vademecum。_Theyarestillvariousandthesame，withthatinfiniterusewithwhichtheylullthereaderattheoutsetoutofallsuspicion。theinsinuatingturninthemiddle，thehome-thrustattherulingpassionatlast，bywhichyoursparecashisconjuredcleanoutofthepocketinspiteofresolution，bythesamestale，well-known，thousandth-timerepeatedartificeof_Allprizes_and_Noblanks_——aself-evidentimposition！Nothing，however，canbeastrongerproofofthepoweroffascinatingthepublicjudgmentthroughtheeyealone。I
knowagentlemanwhoamassedaconsiderablefortune(soastobeabletokeephiscarriage)byprintingnothingbutlotteryplacardsandhandbillsofacolossalsize。Anotherfriendofmine(ofnomeantalents)wasappliedto(asasnugthinginthewayofbusiness)towriteregularlotterypuffsforalargehouseinthecity，andonhavingaparcelofsamplesreturnedonhishandsasdoneintoosevereandterseastyle，complainedquaintlyenough，_”Thatmodestmeritnevercouldsucceed！”_EvenLordByron，ashetellsus，hasbeenaccusedofwritinglottery-puffs。Therearevariouswaysofplayingone”s-selfoffbeforethepublic，andkeepingone”snamealive。Thenewspapers，thelamp-posts，thewallsofemptyhouses，theshuttersofwindows，theblankcoversofmagazinesandreviews，areopentoeveryone。Ihaveheardofamanofliterarycelebritysittinginhisstudywritinglettersofremonstrancetohimself，onthegrossdefectsofaplanofeducationhehadjustpublished，andwhichremainedunsoldonthebookseller”scounter。Anotherfeignedhimselfdeadinordertoseewhatwouldbesaidofhiminthenewspapers，andtoexciteasensationinthisway。Aflashypamphlethasbeenruntoafive-and-thirtiethedition，andthusensuredthewritera”deathlessdate”amongpoliticalcharlatans，byregularlystrikingoffanewtitle-pagetoeveryfiftyorahundredcopiesthatweresold。Thisisavilepractice。Itisanerroneousideagotabroad(andwhichIwillcontradicthere)thatparagraphsarepaidforintheleadingjournals。Itisquiteoutofthequestion。Afavourablenoticeofanauthor，anactress，etc。，maybeinsertedthroughinterest，ortoobligeafriend，butitmustinvariablybedonefor_love，_not_money！_
WhenIformerlyhadtodowiththesesortofcriticalverdicts，Iwasgenerallysentoutofthewaywhenany_debutant_hadafriendatcourt，andwastobetenderlyhandled。Fortherest，orthoseofrobustconstitutions，Ihad_carteblanche_givenme。SometimesIranoutofthecourse，tobesure。PoorPerry！whatbittercomplaintsheusedtomake，thatby_running-a-muck_atlordsandScotchmenIshouldnotleavehimaplacetodineoutat！Theexpressionofhisfaceatthesemoments，asifheshouldshortlybewithoutafriendintheworld，wastrulypitiable。WhatsquabblesweusedtohaveaboutKeanandMissStephens，theonlytheatricalfavouritesIeverhad！Mrs。BillingtonhadgotsomenotionthatMissStephenswouldnevermakeasinger，anditwasthetormentofPerry”slife(ashetoldmeinconfidence)thathecouldnotgetanytwopeopletobeofthesameopiniononanyonepoint。
Ishallnoteasilyforgetbringinghimmyaccountofherfirstappearanceinthe_Beggar”sOpera。_Ihavereasontorememberthatarticle：itwasalmostthelastIeverwrotewithanypleasuretomyself。IhadbeendownonavisittomyfriendsnearChertsey，andonmyreturnhadstoppedataninnnearKingston-upon-Thames，whereIhadgotthe_Beggar”sOpera_，andhadreaditover-night。ThenextdayI
walkedcheerfullytotown。Itwasafinesunnymorning，intheendofautumn，andasIrepeatedthebeautifulsong，”LifeknowsnoreturnofSpring”Imeditatedmynextday”scriticism，tryingtodoallthejusticeIcouldtosoinvitingasubject。Iwasnotalittleproudofitbyanticipation。Ihadjustthenbeguntostammeroutmysentimentsonpaper，andwasinakindofhoneymoonofauthorship。Butsoonafter，myfinalhopesofhappinessandofhumanlibertywereblightednearlyatthesametime；andsincethenIhavehadnopleasureinanything——
AndLovehimselfcanflattermenomore。
Itwasnotsotenyearssince(tenshortyearssince——Ah！howfastthoseyearsrunthathurryusawayfromourlastfonddreamofbliss！)
whenIloiteredalongthygreenretreats，OTwickenham！andconnedover(withenthusiasticdelight)thechequeredviewwhichoneofthyfavouritesdrewofhumanlife！IdepositedmyaccountoftheplayattheMorningChronicleofficeintheafternoon，andwenttoseeMissStephensasPolly。Thosewerehappytimes，inwhichshefirstcameoutinthischaracter，inMandane，whereshesangthedeliciousair，”Ifo”erthecrueltyrant，Love”(soasitcanneverbesungagain)，in_LoveinaVillage_，wherethesceneopenedwithherandMissMatthewsinapaintedgardenofrosesandhoneysuckles，and”Hope，thounurseofyoungDesire”thrilledfromtwosweetvoicesinturn。Oh！maymyearssometimesstilldrinkthesamesweetsounds，embalmedwiththespiritofyouth，ofhealth，andjoy，butinthethoughtsofaninstant，butinadreamoffancy，andIshallhardlyneedtocomplain！WhenIgotback，aftertheplay，Perrycalledout，withhiscordial，gratingvoice，”Well，howdidshedo？”andonmyspeakinginhighterms，answered，that”hehadbeentodinewithhisfriendtheDuke，thatsomeconversationhadpassedonthesubject，hewasafraiditwasnotthething，itwasnotthetrue_sostenuto_style；butasIhadwrittenthearticle”
(holdingmyperorationonthe_Beggar”sOpera_carelesslyinhishand)，”itmightpass！”Icouldperceivethattheroguelickedhislipsatit，andhadalreadyinimagination”boughtgoldenopinionsofallsortsofpeople”bythisverycriticism，andIhadthesatisfactionthenextdaytomeetMissStephenscomingoutoftheeditor”sroom，whohadbeentothankhimforhisveryflatteringaccountofher。
IwassenttoseeKeanthefirstnightofhisperformanceinShylock，whentherewereaboutahundredpeopleinthepit；butfromhismasterlyandspiriteddeliveryofthefirststrikingspeech，”Onsuchadayyoucalledmeadog”etc。，Iperceiveditwasahollowthing。Soitwasgivenoutinthe_Chronicle_；butPerrywascontinuallyatmeasotherpeoplewereathim，andwasafraiditwouldnotlast。ItwastonopurposeIsaid_itwouldlast：_yetIamintherighthitherto。Ithasbeensaid，ridiculously，thatMr。Keanwaswrittenupinthe_Chronicle。_Ibegleavetostatemyopinionthatnoactorcanbewrittenupordownbyapaper。Anauthormaybepuffedintonotice，ordamnedbycriticism，becausehisbookmaynothavebeenread。Anartistmaybeoverrated，orundeservedlydecried，becausethepublicisnotmuchaccustomedtoseeorjudgeofpictures。Butanactorisjudgedbyhispeers，theplay-goingpublic，andmuststandorfallbyhisownmeritsordefects。Thecriticmaygivethetoneorhaveacastingvoicewherepopularopinionisdivided；buthecannomore_force_thatopinioneitherway，orwrestitfromitsbaseincommonsenseandfeeling，thanhecanmoveStonehenge。Mr。Keanhad，however，physicaldisadvantagesandstrongprejudicestoencounter，andsofarthe_liberal_and_independent_partofthepressmighthavebeenofserviceinhelpinghimtohisseatinthepublicfavour。Mayhelongkeepitwithdignityandfirmness！[2]
