EvenatthehourwhenthegreySt。Petersburgskyhadquitedispersed，andalltheofficialworldhadeatenordined，eachashecould，inaccordancewiththesalaryhereceivedandhisownfancy；whenallwererestingfromthedepartmentaljarofpens，runningtoandfrofromtheirownandotherpeople”sindispensableoccupations，andfromalltheworkthatanuneasymanmakeswillinglyforhimself，ratherthanwhatisnecessary；whenofficialshastentodedicatetopleasurethetimewhichislefttothem，onebolderthantherestgoingtothetheatre；another，intothestreetlookingunderallthebonnets；
anotherwastinghiseveningincomplimentstosomeprettygirl，thestarofasmallofficialcircle；another——andthisisthecommoncaseofall——visitinghiscomradesonthefourthorthirdfloor，intwosmallroomswithanante-roomorkitchen，andsomepretensionstofashion，suchasalamporsomeothertriflewhichhascostmanyasacrificeofdinnerorpleasuretrip；inaword，atthehourwhenallofficialsdisperseamongthecontractedquartersoftheirfriends，toplaywhist，astheysiptheirteafromglasseswithakopek”sworthofsugar，smokelongpipes，relateattimessomebitsofgossipwhichaRussianmancannever，underanycircumstances，refrainfrom，and，whenthereisnothingelsetotalkof，repeateternalanecdotesaboutthecommandanttowhomtheyhadsentwordthatthetailsofthehorsesontheFalconetMonumenthadbeencutoff，whenallstrivetodivertthemselves，AkakiyAkakievitchindulgedinnokindofdiversion。Noonecouldeversaythathehadseenhimatanykindofeveningparty。
Havingwrittentohisheart”scontent，helaydowntosleep，smilingatthethoughtofthecomingday——ofwhatGodmightsendhimtocopyonthemorrow。
Thusflowedonthepeacefullifeoftheman，who，withasalaryoffourhundredrubles，understoodhowtobecontentwithhislot；andthusitwouldhavecontinuedtoflowon，perhaps，toextremeoldage，wereitnotthattherearevariousillsstrewnalongthepathoflifefortitularcouncillorsaswellasforprivate，actual，court，andeveryotherspeciesofcouncillor，evenforthosewhonevergiveanyadviceortakeanythemselves。
ThereexistsinSt。Petersburgapowerfulfoeofallwhoreceiveasalaryoffourhundredrublesayear，orthereabouts。ThisfoeisnootherthantheNortherncold，althoughitissaidtobeveryhealthy。
Atnineo”clockinthemorning，attheveryhourwhenthestreetsarefilledwithmenboundforthevariousofficialdepartments，itbeginstobestowsuchpowerfulandpiercingnipsonallnosesimpartiallythatthepoorofficialsreallydonotknowwhattodowiththem。Atanhourwhentheforeheadsofeventhosewhooccupyexaltedpositionsachewiththecold，andtearsstarttotheireyes，thepoortitularcouncillorsaresometimesquiteunprotected。Theironlysalvationliesintraversingasquicklyaspossible，intheirthinlittlecloaks，fiveorsixstreets，andthenwarmingtheirfeetintheporter”sroom，andsothawingalltheirtalentsandqualificationsforofficialservice，whichhadbecomefrozenontheway。
AkakiyAkakievitchhadfeltforsometimethathisbackandshoulderssufferedwithpeculiarpoignancy，inspiteofthefactthathetriedtotraversethedistancewithallpossiblespeed。Hebeganfinallytowonderwhetherthefaultdidnotlieinhiscloak。Heexamineditthoroughlyathome，anddiscoveredthatintwoplaces，namely，onthebackandshoulders，ithadbecomethinasgauze：theclothwasworntosuchadegreethathecouldseethroughit，andthelininghadfallenintopieces。YoumustknowthatAkakiyAkakievitch”scloakservedasanobjectofridiculetotheofficials：theyevenrefuseditthenoblenameofcloak，andcalleditacape。Infact，itwasofsingularmake：
itscollardiminishingyearbyyear，butservingtopatchitsotherparts。Thepatchingdidnotexhibitgreatskillonthepartofthetailor，andwas，infact，baggyandugly。Seeinghowthematterstood，AkakiyAkakievitchdecidedthatitwouldbenecessarytotakethecloaktoPetrovitch，thetailor，wholivedsomewhereonthefourthfloorupadarkstair-case，andwho，inspiteofhishavingbutoneeye，andpock-marksalloverhisface，busiedhimselfwithconsiderablesuccessinrepairingthetrousersandcoatsofofficialsandothers；thatistosay，whenhewassoberandnotnursingsomeotherschemeinhishead。
Itisnotnecessarytosaymuchaboutthistailor；but，asitisthecustomtohavethecharacterofeachpersonageinanovelclearlydefined，thereisnohelpforit，sohereisPetrovitchthetailor。AtfirsthewascalledonlyGrigoriy，andwassomegentleman”sserf；hecommencedcallinghimselfPetrovitchfromthetimewhenhereceivedhisfreepapers，andfurtherbegantodrinkheavilyonallholidays，atfirstonthegreatones，andthenonallchurchfestivitieswithoutdiscrimination，whereveracrossstoodinthecalendar。Onthispointhewasfaithfultoancestralcustom；andwhenquarrellingwithhiswife，hecalledheralowfemaleandaGerman。Aswehavementionedhiswife，itwillbenecessarytosayawordortwoabouther。
Unfortunately，littleisknownofherbeyondthefactthatPetrovitchhasawife，whowearsacapandadress；butcannotlayclaimtobeauty，atleast，noonebutthesoldiersoftheguardevenlookedunderhercapwhentheymether。
AscendingthestaircasewhichledtoPetrovitch”sroom——whichstaircasewasallsoakedwithdish-water，andreekedwiththesmellofspiritswhichaffectstheeyes，andisaninevitableadjuncttoalldarkstairwaysinSt。Petersburghouses——ascendingthestairs，AkakiyAkakievitchponderedhowmuchPetrovitchwouldask，andmentallyresolvednottogivemorethantworubles。Thedoorwasopen；forthemistress，incookingsomefish，hadraisedsuchasmokeinthekitchenthatnoteventhebeetleswerevisible。AkakiyAkakievitchpassedthroughthekitchenunperceived，evenbythehousewife，andatlengthreachedaroomwherehebeheldPetrovitchseatedonalargeunpaintedtable，withhislegstuckedunderhimlikeaTurkishpasha。Hisfeetwerebare，afterthefashionoftailorswhositatwork；andthefirstthingwhichcaughttheeyewashisthumb，withadeformednailthickandstrongasaturtle”sshell。AboutPetrovitch”sneckhungaskeinofsilkandthread，anduponhiskneeslaysomeoldgarment。Hehadbeentryingunsuccessfullyforthreeminutestothreadhisneedle，andwasenragedatthedarknessandevenatthethread，growlinginalowvoice，“Itwon”tgothrough，thebarbarian！youprickedme，yourascal！“
AkakiyAkakievitchwasvexedatarrivingattheprecisemomentwhenPetrovitchwasangry；helikedtoordersomethingofPetrovitchwhenthelatterwasalittledownhearted，or，ashiswifeexpressedit，“whenhehadsettledhimselfwithbrandy，theone-eyeddevil！“Undersuchcircumstances，Petrovitchgenerallycamedowninhispriceveryreadily，andevenbowedandreturnedthanks。Afterwards，tobesure，hiswifewouldcome，complainingthatherhusbandwasdrunk，andsohadfixedthepricetoolow；but，ifonlyaten-kopekpiecewereadded，thenthematterwassettled。ButnowitappearedthatPetrovitchwasinasobercondition，andthereforerough，taciturn，andinclinedtodemand，Satanonlyknowswhatprice。AkakiyAkakievitchfeltthis，andwouldgladlyhavebeataretreat；buthewasinforit。Petrovitchscreweduphisoneeyeveryintentlyathim，andAkakiyAkakievitchinvoluntarilysaid：“Howdoyoudo，Petrovitch？“
“Iwishyouagoodmorning，sir，“saidPetrovitch，squintingatAkakiyAkakievitch”shands，toseewhatsortofbootyhehadbrought。
“Ah！I——toyou，Petrovitch，this”ItmustbeknownthatAkakiyAkakievitchexpressedhimselfchieflybyprepositions，adverbs，andscrapsofphraseswhichhadnomeaningwhatever。Ifthematterwasaverydifficultone，hehadahabitofnevercompletinghissentences；
sothatfrequently，havingbegunaphrasewiththewords，“This，infact，isquite”heforgottogoon，thinkingthathehadalreadyfinishedit。
“Whatisit？“askedPetrovitch，andwithhisoneeyescannedAkakievitch”swholeuniformfromthecollardowntothecuffs，theback，thetailsandthebutton-holes，allofwhichwerewellknowntohim，sincetheywerehisownhandiwork。Suchisthehabitoftailors；
itisthefirstthingtheydoonmeetingone。
“ButI，here，this——Petrovitch——acloak，cloth——hereyousee，everywhere，indifferentplaces，itisquitestrong——itisalittledusty，andlooksold，butitisnew，onlyhereinoneplaceitisalittle——ontheback，andhereononeoftheshoulders，itisalittleworn，yes，hereonthisshoulderitisalittle——doyousee？thatisall。Andalittlework”
Petrovitchtookthecloak，spreaditout，tobeginwith，onthetable，lookedhardatit，shookhishead，reachedouthishandtothewindow-sillforhissnuff-box，adornedwiththeportraitofsomegeneral，thoughwhatgeneralisunknown，fortheplacewherethefaceshouldhavebeenhadbeenrubbedthroughbythefinger，andasquarebitofpaperhadbeenpastedoverit。Havingtakenapinchofsnuff，Petrovitchheldupthecloak，andinspecteditagainstthelight，andagainshookhisheadoncemore。Afterwhichheagainliftedthegeneral-adornedlidwithitsbitofpastedpaper，andhavingstuffedhisnosewithsnuff，closedandputawaythesnuff-box，andsaidfinally，“No，itisimpossibletomendit；it”sawretchedgarment！“
AkakiyAkakievitch”sheartsankatthesewords。
“Whyisitimpossible，Petrovitch？“hesaid，almostinthepleadingvoiceofachild；“allthatailsitis，thatitiswornontheshoulders。Youmusthavesomepieces”
“Yes，patchescouldbefound，patchesareeasilyfound，“saidPetrovitch，“butthere”snothingtosewthemto。Thethingiscompletelyrotten；ifyouputaneedletoit——see，itwillgiveway。”
“Letitgiveway，andyoucanputonanotherpatchatonce。”
“Butthereisnothingtoputthepatchesonto；there”snouseinstrengtheningit；itistoofargone。It”sluckythatit”scloth；for，ifthewindweretoblow，itwouldflyaway。”
“Well，strengthenitagain。Howwillthis，infact”
“No，“saidPetrovitchdecisively，“thereisnothingtobedonewithit。It”sathoroughlybadjob。You”dbetter，whenthecoldwinterweathercomeson，makeyourselfsomegaitersoutofit，becausestockingsarenotwarm。TheGermansinventedtheminordertomakemoremoney。”Petrovitchloved，onalloccasions，tohaveaflingattheGermans。“Butitisplainyoumusthaveanewcloak。”
Attheword“new，“allgrewdarkbeforeAkakiyAkakievitch”seyes，andeverythingintheroombegantowhirlround。TheonlythinghesawclearlywasthegeneralwiththepaperfaceonthelidofPetrovitch”ssnuff-box。“Anewone？“saidhe，asifstillinadream：“why，Ihavenomoneyforthat。”
“Yes，anewone，“saidPetrovitch，withbarbarouscomposure。
“Well，ifitcametoanewone，howwouldit——？“
“Youmeanhowmuchwoulditcost？“
“Yes。”
“Well，youwouldhavetolayoutahundredandfiftyormore，“saidPetrovitch，andpurseduphislipssignificantly。Helikedtoproducepowerfuleffects，likedtostunutterlyandsuddenly，andthentoglancesidewaystoseewhatfacethestunnedpersonwouldputonthematter。
“Ahundredandfiftyrublesforacloak！“shriekedpoorAkakiyAkakievitch，perhapsforthefirsttimeinhislife，forhisvoicehadalwaysbeendistinguishedforsoftness。
“Yes，sir，“saidPetrovitch，“foranykindofcloak。Ifyouhaveamartenfuronthecollar，orasilk-linedhood，itwillmountuptotwohundred。”
“Petrovitch，please，“saidAkakiyAkakievitchinabeseechingtone，nothearing，andnottryingtohear，Petrovitch”swords，anddisregardingallhis“effects，““somerepairs，inorderthatitmaywearyetalittlelonger。”
“No，itwouldonlybeawasteoftimeandmoney，“saidPetrovitch；andAkakiyAkakievitchwentawayafterthesewords，utterlydiscouraged。
ButPetrovitchstoodforsometimeafterhisdeparture，withsignificantlycompressedlips，andwithoutbetakinghimselftohiswork，satisfiedthathewouldnotbedropped，andanartistictailoremployed。
AkakiyAkakievitchwentoutintothestreetasifinadream。“Suchanaffair！“hesaidtohimself：“Ididnotthinkithadcometo”andthenafterapause，headded，“Well，soitis！seewhatithascometoatlast！andIneverimaginedthatitwasso！“Thenfollowedalongsilence，afterwhichheexclaimed，“Well，soitis！seewhatalready——nothingunexpectedthat——itwouldbenothing——whatastrangecircumstance！“Sosaying，insteadofgoinghome，hewentinexactlytheoppositedirectionwithouthimselfsuspectingit。Ontheway，achimney-sweepbumpedupagainsthim，andblackenedhisshoulder，andawholehatfulofrubbishlandedonhimfromthetopofahousewhichwasbuilding。Hedidnotnoticeit；andonlywhenheranagainstawatchman，who，havingplantedhishalberdbesidehim，wasshakingsomesnufffromhisboxintohishornyhand，didherecoverhimselfalittle，andthatbecausethewatchmansaid，“Whyareyoupokingyourselfintoaman”sveryface？Haven”tyouthepavement？“Thiscausedhimtolookabouthim，andturntowardshome。
Thereonly，hefinallybegantocollecthisthoughts，andtosurveyhispositioninitsclearandactuallight，andtoarguewithhimself，sensiblyandfrankly，aswithareasonablefriendwithwhomonecandiscussprivateandpersonalmatters。“No，“saidAkakiyAkakievitch，“itisimpossibletoreasonwithPetrovitchnow；heisthat——evidentlyhiswifehasbeenbeatinghim。I”dbettergotohimonSundaymorning；
afterSaturdaynighthewillbealittlecross-eyedandsleepy，forhewillwanttogetdrunk，andhiswifewon”tgivehimanymoney；andatsuchatime，aten-kopekpieceinhishandwill——hewillbecomemorefittoreasonwith，andthenthecloak，andthat”ThusarguedAkakiyAkakievitchwithhimself，regainedhiscourage，andwaiteduntilthefirstSunday，when，seeingfromafarthatPetrovitch”swifehadleftthehouse，hewentstraighttohim。
Petrovitch”seyewas，indeed，verymuchaskewafterSaturday：hisheaddrooped，andhewasverysleepy；butforallthat，assoonasheknewwhatitwasaquestionof，itseemedasthoughSatanjoggedhismemory。“Impossible，“saidhe：“pleasetoorderanewone。”ThereuponAkakiyAkakievitchhandedovertheten-kopekpiece。“Thankyou，sir；I
willdrinkyourgoodhealth，“saidPetrovitch：“butasforthecloak，don”ttroubleyourselfaboutit；itisgoodfornothing。Iwillmakeyouacapitalnewone，soletussettleaboutitnow。”
AkakiyAkakievitchwasstillformendingit；butPetrovitchwouldnothearofit，andsaid，“Ishallcertainlyhavetomakeyouanewone，andyoumaydependuponitthatIshalldomybest。Itmayevenbe，asthefashiongoes，thatthecollarcanbefastenedbysilverhooksunderaflap。”
ThenAkakiyAkakievitchsawthatitwasimpossibletogetalongwithoutanewcloak，andhisspiritsankutterly。How，infact，wasittobedone？Wherewasthemoneytocomefrom？Hemight，tobesure，depend，inpart，uponhispresentatChristmas；butthatmoneyhadlongbeenallottedbeforehand。Hemusthavesomenewtrousers，andpayadebtoflongstandingtotheshoemakerforputtingnewtopstohisoldboots，andhemustorderthreeshirtsfromtheseamstress，andacoupleofpiecesoflinen。Inshort，allhismoneymustbespent；andevenifthedirectorshouldbesokindastoorderhimtoreceiveforty-fiverublesinsteadofforty，orevenfifty，itwouldbeamerenothing，ameredropintheoceantowardsthefundsnecessaryforacloak：althoughheknewthatPetrovitchwasoftenwrong-headedenoughtoblurtoutsomeoutrageousprice，sothatevenhisownwifecouldnotrefrainfromexclaiming，“Haveyoulostyoursenses，youfool？“Atonetimehewouldnotworkatanyprice，andnowitwasquitelikelythathehadnamedahighersumthanthecloakwouldcost。
ButalthoughheknewthatPetrovitchwouldundertaketomakeacloakforeightyrubles，still，wherewashetogettheeightyrublesfrom？
Hemightpossiblymanagehalf，yes，halfmightbeprocured，butwherewastheotherhalftocomefrom？Butthereadermustfirstbetoldwherethefirsthalfcamefrom。AkakiyAkakievitchhadahabitofputting，foreveryrublehespent，agroschenintoasmallbox，fastenedwithalockandkey，andwithaslitinthetopforthereceptionofmoney。Attheendofeveryhalf-yearhecountedovertheheapofcoppers，andchangeditforsilver。Thishehaddoneforalongtime，andinthecourseofyears，thesumhadmounteduptooverfortyrubles。Thushehadonehalfonhand；butwherewashetofindtheotherhalf？wherewashetogetanotherfortyrublesfrom？AkakiyAkakievitchthoughtandthought，anddecidedthatitwouldbenecessarytocurtailhisordinaryexpenses，forthespaceofoneyearatleast，todispensewithteaintheevening；toburnnocandles，and，iftherewasanythingwhichhemustdo，togointohislandlady”sroom，andworkbyherlight。Whenhewentintothestreet，hemustwalkaslightlyashecould，andascautiously，uponthestones，almostupontiptoe，inordernottowearhisheelsdownintooshortatime；hemustgivethelaundressaslittletowashaspossible；and，inordernottowearouthisclothes，hemusttakethemoff，assoonashegothome，andwearonlyhiscottondressing-gown，whichhadbeenlongandcarefullysaved。
Totellthetruth，itwasalittlehardforhimatfirsttoaccustomhimselftothesedeprivations；buthegotusedtothematlength，afterafashion，andallwentsmoothly。Heevengotusedtobeinghungryintheevening，buthemadeupforitbytreatinghimself，sotosay，inspirit，bybearingeverinmindtheideaofhisfuturecloak。Fromthattimeforthhisexistenceseemedtobecome，insomeway，fuller，asifheweremarried，orasifsomeothermanlivedinhim，asif，infact，hewerenotalone，andsomepleasantfriendhadconsentedtotravelalonglife”spathwithhim，thefriendbeingnootherthanthecloak，withthickwaddingandastrongliningincapableofwearingout。Hebecamemorelively，andevenhischaractergrewfirmer，likethatofamanwhohasmadeuphismind，andsethimselfagoal。Fromhisfaceandgait，doubtandindecision，allhesitatingandwaveringtraitsdisappearedofthemselves。Firegleamedinhiseyes，andoccasionallytheboldestandmostdaringideasflittedthroughhismind；whynot，forinstance，havemartenfuronthecollar？Thethoughtofthisalmostmadehimabsent-minded。Once，incopyingaletter，henearlymadeamistake，sothatheexclaimedalmostaloud，“Ugh！“andcrossedhimself。Once，inthecourseofeverymonth，hehadaconferencewithPetrovitchonthesubjectofthecloak，whereitwouldbebettertobuythecloth，andthecolour，andtheprice。Healwaysreturnedhomesatisfied，thoughtroubled，reflectingthatthetimewouldcomeatlastwhenitcouldallbebought，andthenthecloakmade。
Theaffairprogressedmorebrisklythanhehadexpected。Farbeyondallhishopes，thedirectorawardedneitherfortynorforty-fiverublesforAkakiyAkakievitch”sshare，butsixty。WhetherhesuspectedthatAkakiyAkakievitchneededacloak，orwhetheritwasmerelychance，atallevents，twentyextrarubleswerebythismeansprovided。Thiscircumstancehastenedmatters。TwoorthreemonthsmoreofhungerandAkakiyAkakievitchhadaccumulatedabouteightyrubles。
Hisheart，generallysoquiet，begantothrob。Onthefirstpossibleday，hewentshoppingincompanywithPetrovitch。Theyboughtsomeverygoodcloth，andatareasonableratetoo，fortheyhadbeenconsideringthematterforsixmonths，andrarelyletamonthpasswithouttheirvisitingtheshopstoinquireprices。Petrovitchhimselfsaidthatnobetterclothcouldbehad。Forlining，theyselectedacottonstuff，butsofirmandthickthatPetrovitchdeclaredittobebetterthansilk，andevenprettierandmoreglossy。Theydidnotbuythemartenfur，becauseitwas，infact，dear，butinitsstead，theypickedouttheverybestofcat-skinwhichcouldbefoundintheshop，andwhichmight，indeed，betakenformartenatadistance。
Petrovitchworkedatthecloaktwowholeweeks，fortherewasagreatdealofquilting：otherwiseitwouldhavebeenfinishedsooner。Hechargedtwelverublesforthejob，itcouldnotpossiblyhavebeendoneforless。Itwasallsewedwithsilk，insmall，doubleseams；andPetrovitchwentovereachseamafterwardswithhisownteeth，stampinginvariouspatterns。
Itwas——itisdifficulttosaypreciselyonwhatday，butprobablythemostgloriousoneinAkakiyAkakievitch”slife，whenPetrovitchatlengthbroughthomethecloak。Hebroughtitinthemorning，beforethehourwhenitwasnecessarytostartforthedepartment。Neverdidacloakarrivesoexactlyinthenickoftime；fortheseverecoldhadsetin，anditseemedtothreatentoincrease。Petrovitchbroughtthecloakhimselfasbefitsagoodtailor。Onhiscountenancewasasignificantexpression，suchasAkakiyAkakievitchhadneverbeheldthere。Heseemedfullysensiblethathehaddonenosmalldeed，andcrossedagulfseparatingtailorswhoonlyputinlinings，andexecuterepairs，fromthosewhomakenewthings。Hetookthecloakoutofthepockethandkerchiefinwhichhehadbroughtit。Thehandkerchiefwasfreshfromthelaundress，andheputitinhispocketforuse。Takingoutthecloak，hegazedproudlyatit，helditupwithbothhands，andflungitskilfullyovertheshouldersofAkakiyAkakievitch。Thenhepulleditandfitteditdownbehindwithhishand，andhedrapeditaroundAkakiyAkakievitchwithoutbuttoningit。AkakiyAkakievitch，likeanexperiencedman，wishedtotrythesleeves。Petrovitchhelpedhimonwiththem，anditturnedoutthatthesleevesweresatisfactoryalso。Inshort，thecloakappearedtobeperfect，andmostseasonable。
Petrovitchdidnotneglecttoobservethatitwasonlybecausehelivedinanarrowstreet，andhadnosignboard，andhadknownAkakiyAkakievitchsolong，thathehadmadeitsocheaply；butthatifhehadbeeninbusinessontheNevskyProspect，hewouldhavechargedseventy-fiverublesforthemakingalone。AkakiyAkakievitchdidnotcaretoarguethispointwithPetrovitch。Hepaidhim，thankedhim，andsetoutatonceinhisnewcloakforthedepartment。Petrovitchfollowedhim，and，pausinginthestreet，gazedlongatthecloakinthedistance，afterwhichhewenttoonesideexpresslytorunthroughacrookedalley，andemergeagainintothestreetbeyondtogazeoncemoreuponthecloakfromanotherpoint，namely，directlyinfront。
MeantimeAkakiyAkakievitchwentoninholidaymood。Hewasconsciouseverysecondofthetimethathehadanewcloakonhisshoulders；andseveraltimeshelaughedwithinternalsatisfaction。Infact，thereweretwoadvantages，onewasitswarmth，theotheritsbeauty。Hesawnothingoftheroad，butsuddenlyfoundhimselfatthedepartment。Hetookoffhiscloakintheante-room，lookeditovercarefully，andconfidedittotheespecialcareoftheattendant。ItisimpossibletosaypreciselyhowitwasthateveryoneinthedepartmentknewatoncethatAkakiyAkakievitchhadanewcloak，andthatthe“cape“nolongerexisted。Allrushedatthesamemomentintotheante-roomtoinspectit。Theycongratulatedhimandsaidpleasantthingstohim，sothathebeganatfirsttosmileandthentogrowashamed。Whenallsurroundedhim，andsaidthatthenewcloakmustbe“christened，“andthathemustgiveawholeeveningatleasttothis，AkakiyAkakievitchlosthisheadcompletely，anddidnotknowwherehestood，whattoanswer，orhowtogetoutofit。Hestoodblushingalloverforseveralminutes，andwasonthepointofassuringthemwithgreatsimplicitythatitwasnotanewcloak，thatitwassoandso，thatitwasinfacttheold“cape。”
Atlengthoneoftheofficials，asub-chiefprobably，inordertoshowthathewasnotatallproud，andongoodtermswithhisinferiors，said，“Sobeit，onlyIwillgivethepartyinsteadofAkakiyAkakievitch；Iinviteyoualltoteawithmeto-night；ithappensquiteapropos，asitismyname-day。”Theofficialsnaturallyatonceofferedthesub-chieftheircongratulationsandacceptedtheinvitationswithpleasure。AkakiyAkakievitchwouldhavedeclined，butalldeclaredthatitwasdiscourteous，thatitwassimplyasinandashame，andthathecouldnotpossiblyrefuse。Besides，thenotionbecamepleasanttohimwhenherecollectedthatheshouldtherebyhaveachanceofwearinghisnewcloakintheeveningalso。
ThatwholedaywastrulyamosttriumphantfestivaldayforAkakiyAkakievitch。Hereturnedhomeinthemosthappyframeofmind，tookoffhiscloak，andhungitcarefullyonthewall，admiringafreshtheclothandthelining。Thenhebroughtouthisold，worn-outcloak，forcomparison。Helookedatitandlaughed，sovastwasthedifference。
Andlongafterdinnerhelaughedagainwhentheconditionofthe“cape“recurredtohismind。Hedinedcheerfully，andafterdinnerwrotenothing，buttookhiseaseforawhileonthebed，untilitgotdark。Thenhedressedhimselfleisurely，putonhiscloak，andsteppedoutintothestreet。Wherethehostlived，unfortunatelywecannotsay：ourmemorybeginstofailusbadly；andthehousesandstreetsinSt。Petersburghavebecomesomixedupinourheadthatitisverydifficulttogetanythingoutofitagaininproperform。Thismuchiscertain，thattheofficiallivedinthebestpartofthecity；andthereforeitmusthavebeenanythingbutneartoAkakiyAkakievitch”sresidence。AkakiyAkakievitchwasfirstobligedtotraverseakindofwildernessofdeserted，dimly-lightedstreets；butinproportionasheapproachedtheofficial”squarterofthecity，thestreetsbecamemorelively，morepopulous，andmorebrilliantlyilluminated。Pedestriansbegantoappear；handsomelydressedladiesweremorefrequentlyencountered；themenhadotterskincollarstotheircoats；peasantwaggoners，withtheirgrate-likesledgesstuckoverwithbrass-headednails，becamerarer；whilstontheotherhand，moreandmoredriversinredvelvetcaps，lacqueredsledgesandbear-skincoatsbegantoappear，andcarriageswithrichhammer-clothsflewswiftlythroughthestreets，theirwheelsscrunchingthesnow。AkakiyAkakievitchgazeduponallthisasuponanovelsight。Hehadnotbeeninthestreetsduringtheeveningforyears。Hehaltedoutofcuriositybeforeashop-windowtolookatapicturerepresentingahandsomewoman，whohadthrownoffhershoe，therebybaringherwholefootinaveryprettyway；whilstbehindhertheheadofamanwithwhiskersandahandsomemoustachepeepedthroughthedoorwayofanotherroom。AkakiyAkakievitchshookhisheadandlaughed，andthenwentonhisway。Whydidhelaugh？Eitherbecausehehadmetwithathingutterlyunknown，butforwhicheveryonecherishes，nevertheless，somesortoffeeling；
orelsehethought，likemanyofficials，asfollows：“Well，thoseFrench！Whatistobesaid？Iftheydogoinanythingofthatsort，why”Butpossiblyhedidnotthinkatall。
AkakiyAkakievitchatlengthreachedthehouseinwhichthesub-chieflodged。Thesub-chieflivedinfinestyle：thestaircasewaslitbyalamp；hisapartmentbeingonthesecondfloor。Onenteringthevestibule，AkakiyAkakievitchbeheldawholerowofgoloshesonthefloor。Amongthem，inthecentreoftheroom，stoodasamovarortea-urn，hummingandemittingcloudsofsteam。Onthewallshungallsortsofcoatsandcloaks，amongwhichtherewereevensomewithbeavercollarsorvelvetfacings。Beyond，thebuzzofconversationwasaudible，andbecameclearandloudwhentheservantcameoutwithatrayfulofemptyglasses，cream-jugs，andsugar-bowls。Itwasevidentthattheofficialshadarrivedlongbefore，andhadalreadyfinishedtheirfirstglassoftea。
AkakiyAkakievitch，havinghunguphisowncloak，enteredtheinnerroom。Beforehimallatonceappearedlights，officials，pipes，andcard-tables；andhewasbewilderedbythesoundofrapidconversationrisingfromallthetables，andthenoiseofmovingchairs。Hehaltedveryawkwardlyinthemiddleoftheroom，wonderingwhatheoughttodo。Buttheyhadseenhim。Theyreceivedhimwithashout，andallthrongedatonceintotheante-room，andtheretookanotherlookathiscloak。AkakiyAkakievitch，althoughsomewhatconfused，wasfrank-hearted，andcouldnotrefrainfromrejoicingwhenhesawhowtheypraisedhiscloak。Then，ofcourse，theyalldroppedhimandhiscloak，andreturned，aswasproper，tothetablessetoutforwhist。
Allthis，thenoise，thetalk，andthethrongofpeoplewasratheroverwhelmingtoAkakiyAkakievitch。Hesimplydidnotknowwherehestood，orwheretoputhishands，hisfeet，andhiswholebody。
Finallyhesatdownbytheplayers，lookedatthecards，gazedatthefaceofoneandanother，andafterawhilebegantogape，andtofeelthatitwaswearisome，themoresoasthehourwasalreadylongpastwhenheusuallywenttobed。Hewantedtotakeleaveofthehost；buttheywouldnotlethimgo，sayingthathemustnotfailtodrinkaglassofchampagneinhonourofhisnewgarment。Inthecourseofanhour，supper，consistingofvegetablesalad，coldveal，pastry，confectioner”spies，andchampagne，wasserved。TheymadeAkakiyAkakievitchdrinktwoglassesofchampagne，afterwhichhefeltthingsgrowlivelier。
Still，hecouldnotforgetthatitwastwelveo”clock，andthatheshouldhavebeenathomelongago。Inorderthatthehostmightnotthinkofsomeexcusefordetaininghim，hestoleoutoftheroomquickly，soughtout，intheante-room，hiscloak，which，tohissorrow，hefoundlyingonthefloor，brushedit，pickedoffeveryspeckuponit，putitonhisshoulders，anddescendedthestairstothestreet。
Inthestreetallwasstillbright。Somepettyshops，thosepermanentclubsofservantsandallsortsoffolk，wereopen。Otherswereshut，but，nevertheless，showedastreakoflightthewholelengthofthedoor-crack，indicatingthattheywerenotyetfreeofcompany，andthatprobablysomedomestics，maleandfemale，werefinishingtheirstoriesandconversationswhilstleavingtheirmastersincompleteignoranceastotheirwhereabouts。AkakiyAkakievitchwentoninahappyframeofmind：heevenstartedtorun，withoutknowingwhy，aftersomelady，whoflewpastlikeaflashoflightning。Buthestoppedshort，andwentonveryquietlyasbefore，wonderingwhyhehadquickenedhispace。Soontherespreadbeforehimthosedesertedstreets，whicharenotcheerfulinthedaytime，tosaynothingoftheevening。Nowtheywereevenmoredimandlonely：thelanternsbegantogrowrarer，oil，evidently，hadbeenlessliberallysupplied。Thencamewoodenhousesandfences：notasoulanywhere；onlythesnowsparkledinthestreets，andmournfullyveiledthelow-roofedcabinswiththeirclosedshutters。Heapproachedthespotwherethestreetcrossedavastsquarewithhousesbarelyvisibleonitsfartherside，asquarewhichseemedafearfuldesert。
Afar，atinysparkglimmeredfromsomewatchman”sbox，whichseemedtostandontheedgeoftheworld。AkakiyAkakievitch”scheerfulnessdiminishedatthispointinamarkeddegree。Heenteredthesquare，notwithoutaninvoluntarysensationoffear，asthoughhisheartwarnedhimofsomeevil。Heglancedbackandonbothsides，itwaslikeaseaabouthim。“No，itisbetternottolook，“hethought，andwenton，closinghiseyes。Whenheopenedthem，toseewhetherhewasneartheendofthesquare，hesuddenlybeheld，standingjustbeforehisverynose，somebeardedindividualsofpreciselywhatsorthecouldnotmakeout。Allgrewdarkbeforehiseyes，andhisheartthrobbed。
“But，ofcourse，thecloakismine！“saidoneoftheminaloudvoice，seizingholdofhiscollar。AkakiyAkakievitchwasabouttoshout“watch，“whenthesecondmanthrustafist，aboutthesizeofaman”shead，intohismouth，muttering，“Nowscream！“
AkakiyAkakievitchfeltthemstripoffhiscloakandgivehimapushwithaknee：hefellheadlonguponthesnow，andfeltnomore。Inafewminutesherecoveredconsciousnessandrosetohisfeet；butnoonewasthere。Hefeltthatitwascoldinthesquare，andthathiscloakwasgone；hebegantoshout，buthisvoicedidnotappeartoreachtotheoutskirtsofthesquare。Indespair，butwithoutceasingtoshout，hestartedatarunacrossthesquare，straighttowardsthewatchbox，besidewhichstoodthewatchman，leaningonhishalberd，andapparentlycurioustoknowwhatkindofacustomerwasrunningtowardshimandshouting。AkakiyAkakievitchranuptohim，andbeganinasobbingvoicetoshoutthathewasasleep，andattendedtonothing，anddidnotseewhenamanwasrobbed。Thewatchmanrepliedthathehadseentwomenstophiminthemiddleofthesquare，butsupposedthattheywerefriendsofhis；andthat，insteadofscoldingvainly，hehadbettergotothepoliceonthemorrow，sothattheymightmakeasearchforwhoeverhadstolenthecloak。
AkakiyAkakievitchranhomeincompletedisorder；hishair，whichgrewverythinlyuponhistemplesandthebackofhishead，whollydisordered；hisbody，arms，andlegscoveredwithsnow。Theoldwoman，whowasmistressofhislodgings，onhearingaterribleknocking，spranghastilyfromherbed，and，withonlyoneshoeon，rantoopenthedoor，pressingthesleeveofherchemisetoherbosomoutofmodesty；butwhenshehadopenedit，shefellbackonbeholdingAkakiyAkakievitchinsuchastate。Whenhetoldherabouttheaffair，sheclaspedherhands，andsaidthathemustgostraighttothedistrictchiefofpolice，forhissubordinatewouldturnuphisnose，promisewell，anddropthematterthere。Theverybestthingtodo，therefore，wouldbetogotothedistrictchief，whomsheknew，becauseFinnishAnna，herformercook，wasnownurseathishouse。Sheoftensawhimpassingthehouse；andhewasatchurcheverySunday，praying，butatthesametimegazingcheerfullyateverybody；sothathemustbeagoodman，judgingfromallappearances。Havinglistenedtothisopinion，AkakiyAkakievitchbetookhimselfsadlytohisroom；andhowhespentthenightthereanyonewhocanputhimselfinanother”splacemayreadilyimagine。
Earlyinthemorning，hepresentedhimselfatthedistrictchief”s；
butwastoldthatthisofficialwasasleep。Hewentagainattenandwasagaininformedthathewasasleep；ateleven，andtheysaid：“Thesuperintendentisnotathome；“atdinnertime，andtheclerksintheante-roomwouldnotadmithimonanyterms，andinsisteduponknowinghisbusiness。Sothatatlast，foronceinhislife，AkakiyAkakievitchfeltaninclinationtoshowsomespirit，andsaidcurtlythathemustseethechiefinperson；thattheyoughtnottopresumetorefusehimentrance；thathecamefromthedepartmentofjustice，andthatwhenhecomplainedofthem，theywouldsee。
Theclerksdaredmakenoreplytothis，andoneofthemwenttocallthechief，wholistenedtothestrangestoryofthetheftofthecoat。
Insteadofdirectinghisattentiontotheprincipalpointsofthematter，hebegantoquestionAkakiyAkakievitch：Whywashegoinghomesolate？Washeinthehabitofdoingso，orhadhebeentosomedisorderlyhouse？SothatAkakiyAkakievitchgotthoroughlyconfused，andlefthimwithoutknowingwhethertheaffairofhiscloakwasinpropertrainornot。
Allthatday，forthefirsttimeinhislife，heneverwentnearthedepartment。Thenextdayhemadehisappearance，verypale，andinhisoldcape，whichhadbecomeevenmoreshabby。Thenewsoftherobberyofthecloaktouchedmany；althoughthereweresomeofficialspresentwhoneverlostanopportunity，evensuchaoneasthepresent，ofridiculingAkakiyAkakievitch。Theydecidedtomakeacollectionforhimonthespot，buttheofficialshadalreadyspentagreatdealinsubscribingforthedirector”sportrait，andforsomebook，atthesuggestionoftheheadofthatdivision，whowasafriendoftheauthor；andsothesumwastrifling。
Oneofthem，movedbypity，resolvedtohelpAkakiyAkakievitchwithsomegoodadviceatleast，andtoldhimthatheoughtnottogotothepolice，foralthoughitmighthappenthatapolice-officer，wishingtowintheapprovalofhissuperiors，mighthuntupthecloakbysomemeans，stillhiscloakwouldremaininthepossessionofthepoliceifhedidnotofferlegalproofthatitbelongedtohim。Thebestthingforhim，therefore，wouldbetoapplytoacertainprominentpersonage；sincethisprominentpersonage，byenteringintorelationswiththeproperpersons，couldgreatlyexpeditethematter。
Astherewasnothingelsetobedone，AkakiyAkakievitchdecidedtogototheprominentpersonage。Whatwastheexactofficialpositionoftheprominentpersonageremainsunknowntothisday。Thereadermustknowthattheprominentpersonagehadbutrecentlybecomeaprominentpersonage，havinguptothattimebeenonlyaninsignificantperson。
Moreover，hispresentpositionwasnotconsideredprominentincomparisonwithothersstillmoreso。Butthereisalwaysacircleofpeopletowhomwhatisinsignificantintheeyesofothers，isimportantenough。Moreover，hestrovetoincreasehisimportancebysundrydevices；forinstance，hemanagedtohavetheinferiorofficialsmeethimonthestaircasewhenheentereduponhisservice；
noonewastopresumetocomedirectlytohim，butthestrictestetiquettemustbeobserved；thecollegiaterecordermustmakeareporttothegovernmentsecretary，thegovernmentsecretarytothetitularcouncillor，orwhateverothermanwasproper，andallbusinessmustcomebeforehiminthismanner。InHolyRussiaallisthuscontaminatedwiththeloveofimitation；everymanimitatesandcopieshissuperior。Theyevensaythatacertaintitularcouncillor，whenpromotedtotheheadofsomesmallseparateroom，immediatelypartitionedoffaprivateroomforhimself，calledittheaudiencechamber，andpostedatthedooralackeywithredcollarandbraid，whograspedthehandleofthedoorandopenedtoallcomers；thoughtheaudiencechambercouldhardlyholdanordinarywriting-table。
Themannersandcustomsoftheprominentpersonageweregrandandimposing，butratherexaggerated。Themainfoundationofhissystemwasstrictness。“Strictness，strictness，andalwaysstrictness！“hegenerallysaid；andatthelastwordhelookedsignificantlyintothefaceofthepersontowhomhespoke。Buttherewasnonecessityforthis，forthehalf-scoreofsubordinateswhoformedtheentireforceoftheofficewereproperlyafraid；oncatchingsightofhimafarofftheylefttheirworkandwaited，drawnupinline，untilhehadpassedthroughtheroom。Hisordinaryconversewithhisinferiorssmackedofsternness，andconsistedchieflyofthreephrases：“Howdareyou？““Doyouknowwhomyouarespeakingto？““Doyourealisewhostandsbeforeyou？“
Otherwisehewasaverykind-heartedman，goodtohiscomrades，andreadytooblige；buttherankofgeneralthrewhimcompletelyoffhisbalance。Onreceivinganyoneofthatrank，hebecameconfused，losthisway，asitwere，andneverknewwhattodo。Ifhechancedtobeamongsthisequalshewasstillaverynicekindofman，averygoodfellowinmanyrespects，andnotstupid；buttheverymomentthathefoundhimselfinthesocietyofpeoplebutoneranklowerthanhimselfhebecamesilent；andhissituationarousedsympathy，themoresoashefelthimselfthathemighthavebeenmakinganincomparablybetteruseofhistime。Inhiseyestherewassometimesvisibleadesiretojoinsomeinterestingconversationorgroup；buthewaskeptbackbythethought，“Woulditnotbeaverygreatcondescensiononhispart？
Woulditnotbefamiliar？andwouldhenottherebylosehisimportance？“Andinconsequenceofsuchreflectionshealwaysremainedinthesamedumbstate，utteringfromtimetotimeafewmonosyllabicsounds，andtherebyearningthenameofthemostwearisomeofmen。
TothisprominentpersonageAkakiyAkakievitchpresentedhimself，andthisatthemostunfavourabletimeforhimselfthoughopportunefortheprominentpersonage。TheprominentpersonagewasinhiscabinetconversinggailywithanoldacquaintanceandcompanionofhischildhoodwhomhehadnotseenforseveralyearsandwhohadjustarrivedwhenitwasannouncedtohimthatapersonnamedBashmatchkinhadcome。Heaskedabruptly，“Whoishe？“”Someofficial，“hewasinformed。“Ah，hecanwait！thisisnotimeforhimtocall，“saidtheimportantman。
Itmustberemarkedherethattheimportantmanliedoutrageously：hehadsaidallhehadtosaytohisfriendlongbefore；andtheconversationhadbeeninterspersedforsometimewithverylongpauses，duringwhichtheymerelyslappedeachotherontheleg，andsaid，“Youthinkso，IvanAbramovitch！““Justso，StepanVarlamitch！“
Nevertheless，heorderedthattheofficialshouldbekeptwaiting，inordertoshowhisfriend，amanwhohadnotbeenintheserviceforalongtime，buthadlivedathomeinthecountry，howlongofficialshadtowaitinhisante-room。
Atlength，havingtalkedhimselfcompletelyout，andmorethanthat，havinghadhisfillofpauses，andsmokedacigarinaverycomfortablearm-chairwithrecliningback，hesuddenlyseemedtorecollect，andsaidtothesecretary，whostoodbythedoorwithpapersofreports，“Soitseemsthatthereisatchinovnikwaitingtoseeme。Tellhimthathemaycomein。”OnperceivingAkakiyAkakievitch”smodestmienandhiswornundressuniform，heturnedabruptlytohimandsaid，“Whatdoyouwant？“inacurthardvoice，whichhehadpractisedinhisroominprivate，andbeforethelooking-glass，forawholeweekbeforebeingraisedtohispresentrank。
AkakiyAkakievitch，whowasalreadyimbuedwithadueamountoffear，becamesomewhatconfused：andaswellashistonguewouldpermit，explained，witharathermorefrequentadditionthanusualoftheword“that，“thathiscloakwasquitenew，andhadbeenstoleninthemostinhumanmanner；thathehadappliedtohiminorderthathemight，insomeway，byhisintermediation——thathemightenterintocorrespondencewiththechiefofpolice，andfindthecloak。
Forsomeinexplicablereasonthisconductseemedfamiliartotheprominentpersonage。“What，mydearsir！“hesaidabruptly，“areyounotacquaintedwithetiquette？Wherehaveyoucomefrom？Don”tyouknowhowsuchmattersaremanaged？Youshouldfirsthaveenteredacomplaintaboutthisatthecourtbelow：itwouldhavegonetotheheadofthedepartment，thentothechiefofthedivision，thenitwouldhavebeenhandedovertothesecretary，andthesecretarywouldhavegivenittome。”
“But，yourexcellency，“saidAkakiyAkakievitch，tryingtocollecthissmallhandfulofwits，andconsciousatthesametimethathewasperspiringterribly，“I，yourexcellency，presumedtotroubleyoubecausesecretaries——areanuntrustworthyrace。”
“What，what，what！“saidtheimportantpersonage。“Wheredidyougetsuchcourage？Wheredidyougetsuchideas？Whatimpudencetowardstheirchiefsandsuperiorshasspreadamongtheyounggeneration！“TheprominentpersonageapparentlyhadnotobservedthatAkakiyAkakievitchwasalreadyintheneighbourhoodoffifty。Ifhecouldbecalledayoungman，itmusthavebeenincomparisonwithsomeonewhowastwenty。“Doyouknowtowhomyouspeak？Doyourealisewhostandsbeforeyou？Doyourealiseit？doyourealiseit？Iaskyou！“ThenhestampedhisfootandraisedhisvoicetosuchapitchthatitwouldhavefrightenedevenadifferentmanfromAkakiyAkakievitch。
AkakiyAkakievitch”ssensesfailedhim；hestaggered，trembledineverylimb，and，iftheportershadnotruntosupporthim，wouldhavefallentothefloor。Theycarriedhimoutinsensible。Buttheprominentpersonage，gratifiedthattheeffectshouldhavesurpassedhisexpectations，andquiteintoxicatedwiththethoughtthathiswordcouldevendepriveamanofhissenses，glancedsidewaysathisfriendinordertoseehowhelookeduponthis，andperceived，notwithoutsatisfaction，thathisfriendwasinamostuneasyframeofmind，andevenbeginning，onhispart，tofeelatriflefrightened。
AkakiyAkakievitchcouldnotrememberhowhedescendedthestairsandgotintothestreet。Hefeltneitherhishandsnorfeet。Neverinhislifehadhebeensoratedbyanyhighofficial，letaloneastrangeone。Hewentstaggeringonthroughthesnow-storm，whichwasblowinginthestreets，withhismouthwideopen；thewind，inSt。Petersburgfashion，darteduponhimfromallquarters，anddowneverycross-street。Inatwinklingithadblownaquinsyintohisthroat，andhereachedhomeunabletoutteraword。Histhroatwasswollen，andhelaydownonhisbed。Sopowerfulissometimesagoodscolding！
Thenextdayaviolentfevershoweditself。ThankstothegenerousassistanceoftheSt。Petersburgclimate，themaladyprogressedmorerapidlythancouldhavebeenexpected：andwhenthedoctorarrived，hefound，onfeelingthesickman”spulse，thattherewasnothingtobedone，excepttoprescribeafomentation，sothatthepatientmightnotbeleftentirelywithoutthebeneficentaidofmedicine；butatthesametime，hepredictedhisendinthirty-sixhours。Afterthisheturnedtothelandlady，andsaid，“Andasforyou，don”twasteyourtimeonhim：orderhispinecoffinnow，foranoakonewillbetooexpensiveforhim。”DidAkakiyAkakievitchhearthesefatalwords？andifheheardthem，didtheyproduceanyoverwhelmingeffectuponhim？
Didhelamentthebitternessofhislife？——Weknownot，forhecontinuedinadeliriouscondition。Visionsincessantlyappearedtohim，eachstrangerthantheother。NowhesawPetrovitch，andorderedhimtomakeacloak，withsometrapsforrobbers，whoseemedtohimtobealwaysunderthebed；andcriedeverymomenttothelandladytopulloneofthemfromunderhiscoverlet。Thenheinquiredwhyhisoldmantlehungbeforehimwhenhehadanewcloak。Nexthefanciedthathewasstandingbeforetheprominentperson，listeningtoathoroughsetting-down，andsaying，“Forgiveme，yourexcellency！“butatlasthebegantocurse，utteringthemosthorriblewords，sothathisagedlandladycrossedherself，neverinherlifehavingheardanythingofthekindfromhim，themoresoasthosewordsfolloweddirectlyafterthewords“yourexcellency。”Lateronhetalkedutternonsense，ofwhichnothingcouldbemade：allthatwasevidentbeing，thathisincoherentwordsandthoughtshoveredeveraboutonething，hiscloak。
AtlengthpoorAkakiyAkakievitchbreathedhislast。Theysealedupneitherhisroomnorhiseffects，because，inthefirstplace，therewerenoheirs，and，inthesecond，therewasverylittletoinheritbeyondabundleofgoose-quills，aquireofwhiteofficialpaper，threepairsofsocks，twoorthreebuttonswhichhadburstoffhistrousers，andthemantlealreadyknowntothereader。Towhomallthisfell，Godknows。Iconfessthatthepersonwhotoldmethistaletooknointerestinthematter。TheycarriedAkakiyAkakievitchoutandburiedhim。
AndSt。PetersburgwasleftwithoutAkakiyAkakievitch，asthoughhehadneverlivedthere。Abeingdisappearedwhowasprotectedbynone，deartonone，interestingtonone，andwhoneverevenattractedtohimselftheattentionofthosestudentsofhumannaturewhoomitnoopportunityofthrustingapinthroughacommonfly，andexaminingitunderthemicroscope。Abeingwhoboremeeklythejibesofthedepartment，andwenttohisgravewithouthavingdoneoneunusualdeed，buttowhom，nevertheless，atthecloseofhislifeappearedabrightvisitantintheformofacloak，whichmomentarilycheeredhispoorlife，anduponwhom，thereafter，anintolerablemisfortunedescended，justasitdescendsuponthemightyofthisworld！
Severaldaysafterhisdeath，theporterwassentfromthedepartmenttohislodgings，withanorderforhimtopresenthimselfthereimmediately；thechiefcommandingit。Buttheporterhadtoreturnunsuccessful，withtheanswerthathecouldnotcome；andtothequestion，“Why？“replied，“Well，becauseheisdead！hewasburiedfourdaysago。”InthismannerdidtheyhearofAkakiyAkakievitch”sdeathatthedepartment，andthenextdayanewofficialsatinhisplace，withahandwritingbynomeanssoupright，butmoreinclinedandslanting。
ButwhocouldhaveimaginedthatthiswasnotreallytheendofAkakiyAkakievitch，thathewasdestinedtoraiseacommotionafterdeath，asifincompensationforhisutterlyinsignificantlife？Butsoithappened，andourpoorstoryunexpectedlygainsafantasticending。
ArumoursuddenlyspreadthroughSt。PetersburgthatadeadmanhadtakentoappearingontheKalinkinBridgeanditsvicinityatnightintheformofatchinovnikseekingastolencloak，andthat，underthepretextofitsbeingthestolencloak，hedragged，withoutregardtorankorcalling，everyone”scloakfromhisshoulders，beitcat-skin，beaver，fox，bear，sable；inaword，everysortoffurandskinwhichmenadoptedfortheircovering。OneofthedepartmentofficialssawthedeadmanwithhisowneyesandimmediatelyrecognisedinhimAkakiyAkakievitch。This，however，inspiredhimwithsuchterrorthatheranoffwithallhismight，andthereforedidnotscanthedeadmanclosely，butonlysawhowthelatterthreatenedhimfromafarwithhisfinger。Constantcomplaintspouredinfromallquartersthatthebacksandshoulders，notonlyoftitularbutevenofcourtcouncillors，wereexposedtothedangerofacoldonaccountofthefrequentdraggingoffoftheircloaks。
Arrangementsweremadebythepolicetocatchthecorpse，aliveordead，atanycost，andpunishhimasanexampletoothersinthemostseveremanner。Inthistheynearlysucceeded；forawatchman，onguardinKirushkinAlley，caughtthecorpsebythecollarontheverysceneofhisevildeeds，whenattemptingtopulloffthefriezecoatofaretiredmusician。Havingseizedhimbythecollar，hesummoned，withashout，twoofhiscomrades，whomheenjoinedtoholdhimfastwhilehehimselffeltforamomentinhisboot，inordertodrawouthissnuff-boxandrefreshhisfrozennose。Butthesnuffwasofasortwhichevenacorpsecouldnotendure。Thewatchmanhavingclosedhisrightnostrilwithhisfinger，hadnosoonersucceededinholdinghalfahandfuluptotheleftthanthecorpsesneezedsoviolentlythathecompletelyfilledtheeyesofallthree。Whiletheyraisedtheirhandstowipethem，thedeadmanvanishedcompletely，sothattheypositivelydidnotknowwhethertheyhadactuallyhadhimintheirgripatall。Thereafterthewatchmenconceivedsuchaterrorofdeadmenthattheywereafraideventoseizetheliving，andonlyscreamedfromadistance，“Hey，there！goyourway！“SothedeadtchinovnikbegantoappearevenbeyondtheKalinkinBridge，causingnolittleterrortoalltimidpeople。
Butwehavetotallyneglectedthatcertainprominentpersonagewhomayreallybeconsideredasthecauseofthefantasticturntakenbythistruehistory。Firstofall，justicecompelsustosaythatafterthedepartureofpoor，annihilatedAkakiyAkakievitchhefeltsomethinglikeremorse。Sufferingwasunpleasanttohim，forhisheartwasaccessibletomanygoodimpulses，inspiteofthefactthathisrankoftenpreventedhisshowinghistrueself。Assoonashisfriendhadlefthiscabinet，hebegantothinkaboutpoorAkakiyAkakievitch。Andfromthatdayforth，poorAkakiyAkakievitch，whocouldnotbearupunderanofficialreprimand，recurredtohismindalmosteveryday。
Thethoughttroubledhimtosuchanextentthataweeklaterheevenresolvedtosendanofficialtohim，tolearnwhetherhereallycouldassisthim；andwhenitwasreportedtohimthatAkakiyAkakievitchhaddiedsuddenlyoffever，hewasstartled，hearkenedtothereproachesofhisconscience，andwasoutofsortsforthewholeday。
Wishingtodiverthismindinsomeway，anddriveawaythedisagreeableimpression，hesetoutthateveningforoneofhisfriends”houses，wherehefoundquitealargepartyassembled。Whatwasbetter，nearlyeveryonewasofthesamerankashimself，sothatheneednotfeelintheleastconstrained。Thishadamarvellouseffectuponhismentalstate。Hegrewexpansive，madehimselfagreeableinconversation，inshort，hepassedadelightfulevening。
Aftersupperhedrankacoupleofglassesofchampagne——notabadrecipeforcheerfulness，aseveryoneknows。Thechampagneinclinedhimtovariousadventures；andhedeterminednottoreturnhome，buttogoandseeacertainwell-knownladyofGermanextraction，KarolinaIvanovna，alady，itappears，withwhomhewasonaveryfriendlyfooting。
Itmustbementionedthattheprominentpersonagewasnolongerayoungman，butagoodhusbandandrespectedfatherofafamily。Twosons，oneofwhomwasalreadyintheservice，andagood-looking，sixteen-year-olddaughter，witharatherretroussebutprettylittlenose，cameeverymorningtokisshishandandsay，“Bonjour，papa。”
Hiswife，astillfreshandgood-lookingwoman，firstgavehimherhandtokiss，andthen，reversingtheprocedure，kissedhis。Buttheprominentpersonage，thoughperfectlysatisfiedinhisdomesticrelations，considereditstylishtohaveafriendinanotherquarterofthecity。Thisfriendwasscarcelyprettieroryoungerthanhiswife；buttherearesuchpuzzlesintheworld，anditisnotourplacetojudgethem。Sotheimportantpersonagedescendedthestairs，steppedintohissledge，saidtothecoachman，“ToKarolinaIvanovna”s，“and，wrappinghimselfluxuriouslyinhiswarmcloak，foundhimselfinthatdelightfulframeofmindthanwhichaRussiancanconceivenobetter，namely，whenyouthinkofnothingyourself，yetwhenthethoughtscreepintoyourmindoftheirownaccord，eachmoreagreeablethantheother，givingyounotroubleeithertodrivethemawayorseekthem。Fullysatisfied，herecalledallthegayfeaturesoftheeveningjustpassed，andallthemotswhichhadmadethelittlecirclelaugh。Manyofthemherepeatedinalowvoice，andfoundthemquiteasfunnyasbefore；soitisnotsurprisingthatheshouldlaughheartilyatthem。Occasionally，however，hewasinterruptedbygustsofwind，which，comingsuddenly，Godknowswhenceorwhy，cuthisface，drovemassesofsnowintoit，filledouthiscloak-collarlikeasail，orsuddenlyblewitoverhisheadwithsupernaturalforce，andthuscausedhimconstanttroubletodisentanglehimself。
Suddenlytheimportantpersonagefeltsomeoneclutchhimfirmlybythecollar。Turninground，heperceivedamanofshortstature，inanold，wornuniform，andrecognised，notwithoutterror，AkakiyAkakievitch。Theofficial”sfacewaswhiteassnow，andlookedjustlikeacorpse”s。Butthehorroroftheimportantpersonagetranscendedallboundswhenhesawthedeadman”smouthopen，and，withaterribleodourofthegrave，gaveventtothefollowingremarks：“Ah，hereyouareatlast！Ihaveyou，that——bythecollar！Ineedyourcloak；youtooknotroubleaboutmine，butreprimandedme；sonowgiveupyourown。”
Thepallidprominentpersonagealmostdiedoffright。Braveashewasintheofficeandinthepresenceofinferiorsgenerally，andalthough，atthesightofhismanlyformandappearance，everyonesaid，“Ugh！howmuchcharacterhehad！“atthiscrisis，he，likemanypossessedofanheroicexterior，experiencedsuchterror，that，notwithoutcause，hebegantofearanattackofillness。Heflunghiscloakhastilyfromhisshouldersandshoutedtohiscoachmaninanunnaturalvoice，“Homeatfullspeed！“Thecoachman，hearingthetonewhichisgenerallyemployedatcriticalmomentsandevenaccompaniedbysomethingmuchmoretangible，drewhisheaddownbetweenhisshouldersincaseofanemergency，flourishedhiswhip，andflewonlikeanarrow。Inalittlemorethansixminutestheprominentpersonagewasattheentranceofhisownhouse。Pale，thoroughlyscared，andcloakless，hewenthomeinsteadoftoKarolinaIvanovna”s，reachedhisroomsomehoworother，andpassedthenightinthedirestdistress；sothatthenextmorningovertheirteahisdaughtersaid，“Youareverypaleto-day，papa。”Butpaparemainedsilent，andsaidnotawordtoanyoneofwhathadhappenedtohim，wherehehadbeen，orwherehehadintendedtogo。
Thisoccurrencemadeadeepimpressionuponhim。Heevenbegantosay：
“Howdareyou？doyourealisewhostandsbeforeyou？“lessfrequentlytotheunder-officials，andifhedidutterthewords，itwasonlyafterhavingfirstlearnedthebearingsofthematter。Butthemostnoteworthypointwas，thatfromthatdayforwardtheapparitionofthedeadtchinovnikceasedtobeseen。Evidentlytheprominentpersonage”scloakjustfittedhisshoulders；atallevents，nomoreinstancesofhisdraggingcloaksfrompeople”sshoulderswereheardof。Butmanyactiveandapprehensivepersonscouldbynomeansreassurethemselves，andassertedthatthedeadtchinovnikstillshowedhimselfindistantpartsofthecity。
Infact，onewatchmaninKolomnasawwithhisowneyestheapparitioncomefrombehindahouse。Butbeingratherweakofbody，hedarednotarresthim，butfollowedhiminthedark，until，atlength，theapparitionlookedround，paused，andinquired，“Whatdoyouwant？“atthesametimeshowingafistsuchasisneverseenonlivingmen。Thewatchmansaid，“It”sofnoconsequence，“andturnedbackinstantly。
Buttheapparitionwasmuchtootall，worehugemoustaches，and，directingitsstepsapparentlytowardstheObukhoffbridge，disappearedinthedarknessofthenight。
HOWTHETWOIVANSQUARRELLED
CHAPTERI
IVANIVANOVITCHANDIVANNIKIFOROVITCH
AfinepelissehasIvanIvanovitch！splendid！Andwhatlambskin！deucetakeit，whatlambskin！blue-blackwithsilverlights。I”llforfeit，I
knownotwhat，ifyoufindanyoneelseowningsuchaone。Lookatit，forheaven”ssake，especiallywhenhestandstalkingwithanyone！
lookathimside-ways：whatapleasureitis！Todescribeitisimpossible：velvet！silver！fire！NikolaitheWonder-worker，saintofGod！whyhaveInotsuchapelisse？HehaditmadebeforeAgafyaFedosyevnawenttoKief。YouknowAgafyaFedosyevnawhobittheassessor”searoff？
IvanIvanovitchisaveryhandsomeman。WhatahousehehasinMirgorod！Arounditoneverysideisabalconyonoakenpillars，andonthebalconyarebenches。IvanIvanovitch，whentheweathergetstoowarm，throwsoffhispelisseandhisremaininguppergarments，andsits，inhisshirtsleeves，onthebalconytoobservewhatisgoingoninthecourtyardandthestreet。Whatapplesandpearshehasunderhisverywindows！Youhavebuttoopenthewindowandthebranchesforcethemselvesthroughintotheroom。Allthisisinfrontofthehouse；butyoushouldseewhathehasinthegarden。Whatistherenotthere？Plums，cherries，everysortofvegetable，sunflowers，cucumbers，melons，peas，athreshing-floor，andevenaforge。
Averyfineman，IvanIvanovitch！Heisveryfondofmelons：theyarehisfavouritefood。Assoonashehasdined，andcomeoutonhisbalcony，inhisshirtsleeves，heordersGapkatobringtwomelons，andimmediatelycutsthemhimself，collectstheseedsinapaper，andbeginstoeat。ThenheordersGapkatofetchtheink-bottle，and，withhisownhand，writesthisinscriptiononthepaperofseeds：“Thesemelonswereeatenonsuchandsuchadate。”Iftherewasaguestpresent，thenitreads，“Suchandsuchapersonassisted。”
ThelatejudgeofMirgorodalwaysgazedatIvanIvanovitch”shousewithpleasure。Thelittlehouseisverypretty。Itpleasesmebecauseshedsandotherlittleadditionsarebuiltontoitonallsides；sothat，lookingatitfromadistance，onlyroofsarevisible，risingoneaboveanother，andgreatlyresemblingaplatefullofpancakes，or，betterstill，fungigrowingonthetrunkofatree。Moreover，theroofisallovergrownwithweeds：awillow，anoak，andtwoapple-treesleantheirspreadingbranchesagainstit。Throughthetreespeeplittlewindowswithcarvedandwhite-washedshutters，whichprojectevenintothestreet。
Averyfineman，IvanIvanovitch！ThecommissionerofPoltavaknowshimtoo。DoroshTarasovitchPukhivotchka，whenheleavesKhorola，alwaysgoestohishouse。AndwhenFatherPeter，theProtopopewholivesatKoliberdas，invitesafewguests，healwayssaysthatheknowsofnoonewhosowellfulfilsallhisChristiandutiesandunderstandssowellhowtoliveasIvanIvanovitch。
Howtimeflies！Morethantenyearshavealreadypassedsincehebecameawidower。Heneverhadanychildren。Gapkahaschildrenandtheyrunaboutthecourt-yard。IvanIvanovitchalwaysgiveseachofthemacake，orasliceofmelon，orapear。
Gapkacarriesthekeysofthestoreroomsandcellars；butthekeyofthelargechestwhichstandsinhisbedroom，andthatofthecentrestoreroom，IvanIvanovitchkeepshimself；Gapkaisahealthygirl，withruddycheeksandcalves，andgoesaboutincoarseclothgarments。
AndwhatapiousmanisIvanIvanovitch！EverySundayhedonshispelisseandgoestochurch。Onentering，hebowsonallsides，generallystationshimselfinthechoir，andsingsaverygoodbass。
Whentheserviceisover，IvanIvanovitchcannotrefrainfrompassingthepoorpeopleinreview。Heprobablywouldnothavecaredtoundertakethistiresomeworkifhisnaturalgoodnesshadnoturgedhimtoit。“Good-day，beggar！“hegenerallysaid，selectingthemostcrippledoldwoman，inthemostpatchedandthreadbaregarments。
“Whencecomeyou，mypoorwoman？“
“Icomefromthefarm，sir。”TistwodayssinceIhaveeatenordrunk：
myownchildrendrovemeout。”
“Poorsoul！whydidyoucomehither？“
“Tobegalms，sir，toseewhethersomeonewillnotgivemeatleastenoughforbread。”
“Hm！soyouwantbread？“IvanIvanovitchgenerallyinquired。
“Howshoulditbeotherwise？Iamashungryasadog。”
“Hm！“repliedIvanIvanovitchusually，“andperhapsyouwouldlikebuttertoo？“
“Yes；everythingwhichyourkindnesswillgive；Iwillbecontentwithall。”
“Hm！Isbutterbetterthanbread？“
“Howisahungrypersontochoose？Anythingyouplease，allisgood。”
Thereupontheoldwomangenerallyextendedherhand。
“Well，gowithGod”sblessing，“saidIvanIvanovitch。“Whydoyoustandthere？I”mnotbeatingyou。”Andturningtoasecondandathirdwiththesamequestions，hefinallyreturnshome，orgoestodrinkalittleglassofvodkawithhisneighbour，IvanNikiforovitch，orthejudge，orthechiefofpolice。
IvanIvanovitchisveryfondofreceivingpresents。Theypleasehimgreatly。
AveryfinemantooisIvanNikiforovitch。Theyaresuchfriendsastheworldneversaw。AntonProkofievitchPupopuz，whogoesabouttothishourinhiscinnamon-colouredsurtoutwithbluesleevesanddineseverySundaywiththejudge，wasinthehabitofsayingthattheDevilhimselfhadboundIvanIvanovitchandIvanNikiforovitchtogetherwitharope：whereonewent，theotherfollowed。
IvanNikiforovitchhasnevermarried。Althoughitwasreportedthathewasmarrieditwascompletelyfalse。IknowIvanNikiforovitchverywell，andamabletostatethatheneverevenhadanyintentionofmarrying。Wheredoallthesescandalsoriginate？InthesamewayitwasrumouredthatIvanNikiforovitchwasbornwithatail！ButthisinventionissoclumsyandatthesametimesohorribleandindecentthatIdonotevenconsideritnecessarytorefuteitforthebenefitofcivilisedreaders，towhomitisdoubtlessknownthatonlywitches，andveryfewevenofthese，havetails。Witches，moreover，belongmoretothefemininethantothemasculinegender。
Inspiteoftheirgreatfriendship，theserarefriendsarenotalwaysagreedbetweenthemselves。Theircharacterscanbestbejudgedbycomparingthem。IvanIvanovitchhastheusualgiftofspeakinginanextremelypleasantmanner。Heavens！Howhedoesspeak！Thefeelingcanbestbedescribedbycomparingittothatwhichyouexperiencewhensomeonecombsyourheadordrawshisfingersoftlyacrossyourheel。
Youlistenandlistenuntilyoudropyourhead。Pleasant，exceedinglypleasant！likethesleepafterabath。IvanNikiforovitch，onthecontrary，ismorereticent；butifheoncetakesuphisparable，lookoutforyourself！Hecantalkyourheadoff。
IvanIvanovitchistallandthin：IvanNikiforovitchisrathershorterinstature，buthemakesitupinthickness。IvanIvanovitch”sheadislikearadish，taildown；IvanNikiforovitch”slikearadishwiththetailup。IvanIvanovitchlollsonthebalconyinhisshirtsleevesafterdinneronly：intheeveninghedonshispelisseandgoesoutsomewhere，eithertothevillageshop，wherehesuppliesflour，orintothefieldstocatchquail。IvanNikiforovitchliesalldayathisporch：ifthedayisnottoohothegenerallyturnshisbacktothesunandwillnotgoanywhere。Ifithappenstooccurtohiminthemorninghewalksthroughtheyard，inspectsthedomesticaffairs，andretiresagaintohisroom。InearlydaysheusedtocallonIvanIvanovitch。IvanIvanovitchisaveryrefinedman，andneveruttersanimpoliteword。IvanNikiforovitchisnotalwaysonhisguard。OnsuchoccasionsIvanIvanovitchusuallyrisesfromhisseat，andsays，“Enough，enough，IvanNikiforovitch！It”sbettertogooutatoncethantouttersuchgodlesswords。”
IvanIvanovitchgetsintoaterriblerageifaflyfallsintohisbeet-soup。Thenheisfairlybesidehimself；heflingsawayhisplateandthehousekeepercatchesit。IvanNikiforovitchisveryfondofbathing；andwhenhegetsuptotheneckinwater，ordersatableandasamovar，orteaurn，tobeplacedonthewater，forheisveryfondofdrinkingteainthatcoolposition。IvanIvanovitchshavestwiceaweek；IvanNikiforovitchonce。IvanIvanovitchisextremelycurious。
Godpreserveyouifyoubegintotellhimanythinganddonotfinishit！Ifheisdispleasedwithanythingheletsitbeseenatonce。ItisveryhardtotellfromIvanNikiforovitch”scountenancewhetherheispleasedorangry；evenifheisrejoicedatanything，hewillnotshowit。IvanIvanovitchisofarathertimidcharacter：IvanNikiforovitch，onthecontrary，has，asthesayingis，suchfullfoldsinhistrousersthatifyouweretoinflatethemyoumightputthecourtyard，withitsstorehousesandbuildings，insidethem。
IvanIvanovitchhaslarge，expressiveeyes，ofasnuffcolour，andamouthshapedsomethingliketheletterV；IvanNikiforovitchhassmall，yellowisheyes，quiteconcealedbetweenheavybrowsandfatcheeks；andhisnoseistheshapeofaripeplum。IfIvanovitchtreatsyoutosnuff，healwayslicksthecoverofhisboxfirstwithhistongue，thentapsonitwithhisfingerandsays，asheraisesit，ifyouareanacquaintance，“DareIbegyou，sir，togivemethepleasure？“ifastranger，“DareIbegyou，sir，thoughIhavenotthehonourofknowingyourrank，name，andfamily，todomethefavour？“
butIvanNikiforovitchputshisboxstraightintoyourhandandmerelyadds，“Domethefavour。”NeitherIvanIvanovitchnorIvanNikiforovitchlovesfleas；andtherefore，neitherIvanIvanovitchnorIvanNikiforovitchwill，onnoaccount，admitaJewwithhiswares，withoutpurchasingofhimremediesagainsttheseinsects，afterhavingfirstratedhimwellforbelongingtotheHebrewfaith。
Butinspiteofnumerousdissimilarities，IvanIvanovitchandIvanNikiforovitcharebothveryfinefellows。
CHAPTERII
FROMWHICHMAYBESEENWHENCEAROSETHEDISCUSSIONBETWEEN
IVANIVANOVITCHANDIVANNIKIFOROVITCH
Onemorning——itwasinJuly——IvanIvanovitchwaslyingonhisbalcony。
Thedaywaswarm；theairwasdry，andcameingusts。IvanIvanovitchhadbeentotown，tothemower”s，andatthefarm，andhadsucceededinaskingallthemuzhiksandwomenwhomhemetallmannerofquestions。Hewasfearfullytiredandhadlaiddowntorest。Ashelaythere，helookedatthestorehouse，thecourtyard，thesheds，thechickensrunningabout，andthoughttohimself，“Heavens！Whatawell-to-domanIam！WhatistherethatIhavenot？Birds，buildings，granaries，everythingItakeafancyto；genuinedistilledvodka；
pearsandplumsintheorchard；poppies，cabbages，peasinthegarden；
whatistherethatIhavenot？IshouldliketoknowwhatthereisthatIhavenot？“
Asheputthisquestiontohimself，IvanIvanovitchreflected；andmeantimehiseyes，intheirsearchafterfreshobjects，crossedthefenceintoIvanNikiforovitch”syardandinvoluntarilytooknoteofacurioussight。Afatwomanwasbringingoutclothes，whichhadbeenpackedaway，andspreadingthemoutonthelinetoair。Presentlyanolduniformwithworntrimmingswasswingingitssleevesintheairandembracingabrocadegown；frombehinditpeepedacourt-coat，withbuttonsstampedwithcoats-of-arms，andmoth-eatencollar；andwhitekersymerepantaloonswithspots，whichhadonceuponatimeclothedIvanNikiforovitch”slegs，andmightnowpossiblyfithisfingers。
Behindthemwerespeedilyhungsomemoreintheshapeoftheletterpi。ThencameablueCossackjacket，whichIvanNikiforovitchhadhadmadetwentyyearsbefore，whenhewaspreparingtoenterthemilitia，andallowedhismoustachetogrow。Andoneafteranotherappearedasword，projectingintotheairlikeaspit，andtheskirtsofagrass-greencaftan-likegarment，withcopperbuttonsthesizeofafive-kopekpiece，unfoldedthemselves。Fromamongthefoldspeepedavestboundwithgold，withawideopeninginfront。Thevestwassoonconcealedbyanoldpetticoatbelongingtohisdeadgrandmother，withpocketswhichwouldhaveheldawater-melon。
AllthesethingspiledtogetherformedaveryinterestingspectacleforIvanIvanovitch；whilethesun”srays，fallinguponablueorgreensleeve，aredbinding，orascrapofgoldbrocade，orplayinginthepointofasword，formedanunusualsight，similartotherepresentationsoftheNativitygivenatfarmhousesbywanderingbands；particularlythatpartwherethethrongofpeople，pressingclosetogether，gazeatKingHerodinhisgoldencrownoratAnthonyleadinghisgoat。
Presentlytheoldwomancrawled，grunting，fromthestoreroom，draggingafterheranold-fashionedsaddlewithbrokenstirrups，wornleatherholsters，andsaddle-cloth，oncered，withgiltembroideryandcopperdisks。
“Here”sastupidwoman，“thoughtIvanIvanovitch。“She”llbedraggingIvanNikiforovitchoutandairinghimnext。”
IvanIvanovitchwasnotsofarwronginhissurmise。Fiveminuteslater，IvanNikiforovitch”snankeentrousersappeared，andtooknearlyhalftheyardtothemselves。Afterthatshefetchedoutahatandagun。“What”sthemeaningofthis？“thoughtIvanIvanovitch。“IneverknewIvanNikiforovitchhadagun。Whatdoeshewantwithit？Whetherheshoots，ornot，hekeepsagun！Ofwhatuseisittohim？Butit”sasplendidthing。Ihavelongwantedjustsuchaone。Ishouldlikethatgunverymuch：Iliketoamusemyselfwithagun。Hello，there，woman，woman！“shoutedIvanIvanovitch，beckoningtoher。
Theoldwomanapproachedthefence。
“What”sthatyouhavethere，mygoodwoman？“
“Agun，asyousee。”
“Whatsortofagun？“
“Whoknowswhatsortofagun？Ifitweremine，perhapsIshouldknowwhatitismadeof；butitismymaster”s，thereforeIknownothingofit。”
IvanIvanovitchrose，andbegantoexaminethegunonallsides，andforgottoreprovetheoldwomanforhangingitandtheswordouttoair。
“Itmustbeiron，“wentontheoldwoman。
“Hm，iron！whyiron？“saidIvanIvanovitch。“Hasyourmasterhaditlong？“
“Yes；long，perhaps。”
“It”sanicegun！“continuedIvanIvanovitch。“Iwillaskhimforit。
Whatcanhewantwithit？I”llmakeanexchangewithhimforit。Isyourmasterathome，mygoodwoman？“
“Yes。”
“Whatishedoing？lyingdown？“
“Yes，lyingdown。”
“Verywell，Iwillcometohim。”
IvanIvanovitchdressedhimself，tookhiswell-seasonedstickforthebenefitofthedogs，for，inMirgorod，therearemoredogsthanpeopletobemetinthestreet，andwentout。
AlthoughIvanNikiforovitch”shousewasnextdoortoIvanIvanovitch”s，sothatyoucouldhavegotfromonetotheotherbyclimbingthefence，yetIvanIvanovitchwentbywayofthestreet。
Fromthestreetitwasnecessarytoturnintoanalleywhichwassonarrowthatiftwoone-horsecartschancedtomeettheycouldnotgetout，andwereforcedtoremainthereuntilthedrivers，seizingthehind-wheels，draggedthembackinoppositedirectionsintothestreet，whilstpedestriansdrewasidelikeflowersgrowingbythefenceoneitherhand。IvanIvanovitch”swaggon-shedadjoinedthisalleyononeside；andontheotherwereIvanNikiforovitch”sgranary，gate，andpigeon-house。
IvanIvanovitchwentuptothegateandrattledthelatch。Withinarosethebarkingofdogs；butthemotley-hairedpackranback，waggingtheirtailswhentheysawthewell-knownface。IvanIvanovitchtraversedthecourtyard，inwhichwerecollectedIndiandoves，fedbyIvanNikiforovitch”sownhand，melon-rinds，vegetables，brokenwheels，barrel-hoops，andasmallboywallowingwithdirtyblouse——apicturesuchaspainterslove。Theshadowsoftheflutteringclothescoverednearlythewholeoftheyardandlentitadegreeofcoolness。Thewomangreetedhimwithabendofherheadandstood，gaping，inonespot。Thefrontofthehousewasadornedwithasmallporch，withitsroofsupportedontwooakpillars——awelcomeprotectionfromthesun，whichatthatseasoninLittleRussialovesnottojest，andbathesthepedestrianfromheadtofootinperspiration。ItmaybejudgedhowpowerfulIvanIvanovitch”sdesiretoobtainthecovetedarticlewaswhenhemadeuphismind，atsuchanhour，todepartfromhisusualcustom，whichwastowalkabroadonlyintheevening。
TheroomwhichIvanIvanovitchenteredwasquitedark，fortheshutterswereclosed；andtherayofsunlightpassingthroughaholemadeinoneofthemtookonthecoloursoftherainbow，and，strikingtheoppositewall，sketcheduponitaparti-colouredpictureoftheoutlinesofroofs，trees，andtheclothessuspendedintheyard，onlyupsidedown。Thisgavetheroomapeculiarhalf-light。
“Godassistyou！“saidIvanIvanovitch。
“Ah！howdoyoudo，IvanIvanovitch？“repliedavoicefromthecorneroftheroom。ThenonlydidIvanIvanovitchperceiveIvanNikiforovitchlyinguponarugwhichwasspreadonthefloor。“Excusemeforappearingbeforeyouinastateofnature。”
“Notatall。Youhavebeenasleep，IvanNikiforovitch？“
“Ihavebeenasleep。Haveyoubeenasleep，IvanIvanovitch？“
“Ihave。”
“Andnowyouhaverisen？“
“NowIhaverisen。Christbewithyou，IvanNikiforovitch！Howcanyousleepuntilthistime？Ihavejustcomefromthefarm。There”sveryfinebarleyontheroad，charming！andthehayistallandsoftandgolden！“
“Gorpina！“shoutedIvanNikiforovitch，“fetchIvanIvanovitchsomevodka，andsomepastryandsourcream！“
“Fineweatherwe”rehavingto-day。”
“Don”tpraiseit，IvanIvanovitch！Deviltakeit！Youcan”tgetawayfromtheheat。”
“Now，whyneedyoumentionthedevil！Ah，IvanNikiforovitch！youwillrecallmywordswhenit”stoolate。Youwillsufferinthenextworldforsuchgodlesswords。”
“HowhaveIoffendedyou，IvanIvanovitch？Ihavenotattackedyourfathernoryourmother。Idon”tknowhowIhaveinsultedyou。”
“Enough，enough，IvanNikiforovitch！“
“ByHeavens，IvanIvanovitch，Ididnotinsultyou！“
“It”sstrangethatthequailshaven”tcomeyettothewhistle。”
“Thinkwhatyouplease，butIhavenotinsultedyouinanyway。”
“Idon”tknowwhytheydon”tcome，“saidIvanIvanovitch，asifhedidnothearIvanNikiforovitch；“itismorethantimeforthemalready；
buttheyseemtoneedmoretimeforsomereason。”
“Yousaythatthebarleyisgood？“
“Splendidbarley，splendid！“
Asilenceensued。
“Soyouarehavingyourclothesaired，IvanNikiforovitch？“saidIvanIvanovitchatlength。
“Yes；thosecursedwomenhaveruinedsomebeautifulclothes；almostnewtheyweretoo。NowI”mhavingthemaired；theclothisfineandgood。Theyonlyneedturningtomakethemfittowearagain。”
“Onethingamongthempleasedmeextremely，IvanNikiforovitch。”
“Whatwasthat？“
“Tellme，please，whatusedoyoumakeofthegunthathasbeenputtoairwiththeclothes？“HereIvanIvanovitchofferedhissnuff。“MayI
askyoutodomethefavour？“
“Bynomeans！takeityourself；Iwillusemyown。”ThereuponIvanNikiforovitchfeltabouthim，andgotholdofhissnuff-box。“Thatstupidwoman！Soshehungthegunouttoair。ThatJewatSorotchintzimakesgoodsnuff。Idon”tknowwhatheputsinit，butitissoveryfragrant。Itisalittleliketansy。Here，takealittleandchewit；
isn”titliketansy？“
“IvanNikiforovitch，Iwanttotalkaboutthatgun；whatareyougoingtodowithit？Youdon”tneedit。”
“Whydon”tIneedit？Imightwanttogoshooting。”
“Godbewithyou，IvanNikiforovitch！Whenwillyougoshooting？Atthemillennium，perhaps？SofarasIknow，oranyonecanrecollect，youneverkilledevenaduck；yes，andyouarenotbuilttogoshooting。Youhaveadignifiedbearingandfigure；howareyoutodragyourselfaboutthemarshes，especiallywhenyourgarment，whichitisnotpolitetomentioninconversationbyname，isbeingairedatthisverymoment？No；yourequirerest，repose。”IvanIvanovitchashasbeenhintedatabove，employeduncommonlypicturesquelanguagewhenitwasnecessarytopersuadeanyone。Howhetalked！Heavens，howhecouldtalk！“Yes，andyourequirepoliteactions。Seehere，giveittome！“
“Theidea！Thegunisvaluable；youcan”tfindsuchgunsanywherenowadays。IboughtitofaTurkwhenIjoinedthemilitia；andnow，togiveitawayallofasudden！Impossible！Itisanindispensablearticle。”
“Indispensableforwhat？“
“Forwhat？Whatifrobbersshouldattackthehouse？……
Indispensableindeed！GlorytoGod！Iknowthatagunstandsinmystorehouse。”
“Afinegunthat！Why，IvanNikiforovitch，thelockisruined。”
“Whatdoyoumeanbyruined？Itcanbesetright；allthatneedstobedoneistorubitwithhemp-oil，sothatitmaynotrust。”
“Iseeinyourwords，IvanNikiforovitch，anythingbutafriendlydispositiontowardsme。Youwilldonothingformeintokenoffriendship。”
“Howcanyousay，IvanIvanovitch，thatIshowyounofriendship？Yououghttobeashamedofyourself。YouroxenpastureonmysteppesandI
haveneverinterferedwiththem。WhenyougotoPoltava，youalwaysaskformywaggon，andwhatthen？HaveIeverrefused？Yourchildrenclimboverthefenceintomyyardandplaywithmydogs——Ineversayanything；letthemplay，solongastheytouchnothing；letthemplay！“
“Ifyouwon”tgiveittome，thenletusmakesomeexchange。”
“Whatwillyougivemeforit？“ThereuponIvanNikiforovitchraisedhimselfonhiselbow，andlookedatIvanIvanovitch。
“Iwillgiveyoumydark-brownsow，theoneIhavefedinthesty。A
magnificentsow。You”llsee，she”llbringyoualitterofpigsnextyear。”
“Idonotsee，IvanIvanovitch，howyoucantalkso。WhatcouldIdowithyoursow？Makeafuneraldinnerforthedevil？“
“Again！Youcan”tgetalongwithoutthedevil！It”sasin！byHeaven，it”sasin，IvanNikiforovitch！“
“Whatdoyoumean，IvanIvanovitch，byofferingthedeuceknowswhatkindofasowformygun？“
“Whyisshe”thedeuceknowswhat”IvanNikiforovitch？“
“Why？Youcanjudgeforyourselfperfectlywell；here”sthegun，aknownthing；butthedeuceknowswhatthatsowislike！Ifithadnotbeenyouwhosaidit，IvanIvanovitch，Imighthaveputaninsultingconstructiononit。”
“Whatdefecthaveyouobservedinthesow？“
“Forwhatdoyoutakeme——forasow？“
“Sitdown，sitdown！Iwon”t——Nomatteraboutyourgun；letitrotandrustwhereitstandsinthecornerofthestoreroom。Idon”twanttosayanythingmoreaboutit！“
Afterthisapauseensued。
