第7章

Ruth’ssenseofhearingwasquickenedtomiserableintensityasshestoodbeforethechimney-piece，graspingittightwithbothhands——gazingintothedyingfire，butseeing——notthedeadgreyembers，orthelittlesparksofvividlightthatranhitherandthitheramongthewood-ashes——butanoldfarmhouse，andclimbing，windingroad，andalittlegoldenbreezycommon，witharuralinnonthehill-top，far，faraway。Andthroughthethoughtsofthepastcamethesharpsoundsofthepresent——ofthreevoices，oneofwhichwasalmostsilence，itwassohushed。IndifferentpeoplewouldonlyhaveguessedthatMr。Donnewasspeakingbythequietnessinwhichtheotherslistened;butRuthheardthevoiceandmanyofthewords，thoughtheyconveyednoideatohermind。Shewastoomuchstunnedeventofeelcurioustoknowtowhattheyrelated。Hespoke。Thatwasheronefact。PresentlyupcameMary，bounding，exultant。Papahadletherstayuponequarterofanhourlonger，becauseMr。Hicksonhadasked。Mr。Hicksonwassoclever！ShedidnotknowwhattomakeofMr。Donne，heseemedsuchadawdle。Buthewasveryhandsome。HadRuthseenhim？Oh，no！Shecouldnot，itwassodarkonthosestupidsands。Well，nevermind，shewouldseehimto-morrow。Shemustbewellto-morrow。PapaseemedagooddealputoutthatneithershenorElizabethwereinthedrawing-roomto-night; andhislastwordswere，“TellMrs。DenbighIhope“(andpapa’s“hopes“ alwaysmeant“expect“)“shewillbeabletomakebreakfastatnineo’clock;“ andthenshewouldseeMr。Donne。ThatwasallRuthheardabouthim。ShewentwithMaryintoherbedroom，helpedhertoundress，andputthecandleout。Atlengthshewasaloneinherownroom！Atlength！，Butthetensiondidnotgivewayimmediately。Shefastenedherdoor，andthrewopenthewindow，coldandthreateningaswasthenight。Shetoreoffhergown;sheputherhairbackfromherheatedface。Itseemednowasifshecouldnotthink——asifthoughtandemotionhadbeenrepressedsosternlythattheywouldnotcometorelieveherstupefiedbrain。Tillallatonce，likeaflashoflightning，herlife，pastandpresent，wasrevealedtohertoitsminutestdetail。Andwhenshesawherverypresent“Now，“thestrangeconfusionofagonywastoogreattobeborne，andshecriedaloud。Thenshewasquitedead，andlistenedastothesoundofgallopingarmies。”IfImightseehim！IfImightseehim！IfImightjustaskhimwhyheleftme;ifIhadvexedhiminanyway;itwassostrange——socruel！Itwasnothim;itwashismother，“saidshe，almostfiercely，asifansweringherself。“OGod！buthemighthavefoundmeoutbeforethis，“shecontinuedsadly。“Hedidnotcareforme，asIdidforhim。Hedidnotcareformeatall，“shewentonwildlyandsharply。“Hedidmecruelharm。Icanneveragainliftupmyfaceininnocence。TheythinkIhaveforgottenall，becauseIdonotspeak。Oh，darlinglove！amItalkingagainstyou？”askedshetenderly。“Iamsotornandperplexed！You，whoarethefatherofmychild！”Butthatverycircumstance，fullofsuchtendermeaninginmanycases; threwanewlightintohermind。Itchangedherfromthewomanintothemother——thesternguardianofherchild。Shewasstillforatime，thinking。 Thenshebeganagain，butinalow，deepvoice。”Heleftme。Hemighthavebeenhurriedoff，buthemighthaveinquired——hemighthavelearnedandexplained。Heleftmetobeartheburdenandtheshame;andneveroaredtolearn，ashemighthavedone，ofLeonard’sbirth。 Hehasnoloveforhischild，andIwillhavenoloveforhim。”，Sheraisedhervoicewhileutteringthisdetermination，andthen，feelingherownweakness，shemoanedout，“Alas！alas！”Andthenshestartedup，forallthistimeshehadbeenrockingherselfbackwardsandforwardsasshesatontheground，andbegantopacetheroomwithhurriedsteps。”WhatamIthinkingof？WhereamI？IwhohavebeenprayingtheseyearsandyearstobeworthytobeLeonard’smother。MyGod！Whatadepthofsinisinmyheart！Why，theoldtimewouldbeaswhiteassnowtowhatitwouldbenow，ifIsoughthimout，andprayedfortheexplanation，whichwouldre-establishhiminmyheart。Iwhohavestriven(ormadeamockoftrying)tolearnGod’sholywill，inordertobringupLeonardintothefullstrengthofaChristian——Iwhohavetaughthissweetinnocentlipstopray，’Leadusnotintotemptation，butdeliverusfromevil;’ andyet，somehow，I’vebeenlongingtogivehimtohisfather，whois——whois“——shealmostchoked，tillatlastshecriedsharpout，“Oh，myGod！ IdobelieveLeonard’sfatherisabadman，andyet，oh！pitifulGod，I lovehim;Icannotforget——Icannot！”Shethrewherbodyhalfoutofthewindowintothecoldnightair。Thewindwasrising，andcameingreatgusts。Therainbeatdownonher。Itdidhergood。Astill，calmnightwouldnothavesoothedherasthisdid。 Thewildtatteredclouds，hurryingpastthemoon，gaveherafoolishkindofpleasurethatalmostmadehersmileavacantsmile。Theblast-drivenraincameonheragain，anddrenchedherhairthroughandthrough。Thewords“stormywindfulfillingHisword“cameintohermind。Shesatdownonthefloor。Thistimeherhandswereclaspedroundherknees。 Theuneasyrockingmotionwasstilled。”Iwonderifmydarlingisfrightenedwiththisblustering，noisywind。 Iwonderifheisawake。”，Andthenherthoughtswentbacktothevarioustimesofold，when，affrightedbytheweather——soundssomysteriousinthenight——hehadcreptintoherbedandclungtoher，andshehadsoothedhim，andsweetlyawedhimintostillnessandchildlikefaith，bytellinghimofthegoodnessandpowerofGod。Ofasuddenshecrepttoachair，andtherekneltasintheverypresenceofGod，hidingherface，atfirstnotspeakingaword(fordidHenotknowherheart)，butby-and-bymoaningout，amidhersobsandtears(andnowforthefirsttimeshewept)——，“Oh，myGod，helpme，forIamveryweak。MyGod！IprayTheebemyrockandmystrongfortress，forIofmyselfamnothing。IfIaskinHisname，Thouwiltgiveitme。InthenameofJesusChristIprayforstrengthtodoThywill！”Shecouldnotthink，er，indeed，rememberanythingbutthatshewasweak，andGodwasstrong，and“averypresenthelpintimeoftrouble;“andthewindroseyethigher，andthehouseshookandvibratedas，inmeasuredtime，thegreatandterriblegustscamefromthefourquartersoftheheavensandblewaroundit，dyingawayinthedistancewithloudandunearthlywails，whichwerenotutterlystillbeforethesoundofthecomingblastwasheardlikethetrumpetsofthevanguardofthePrinceofAir。Therewasaknockatthebedroomdoor——alittle，gentleknock，andasoftchild’svoice。”Mrs。Denbigh，mayIcomein，please？Iamsofrightened！”ItwasElizabeth。Ruthcalmedherpassionatebreathingbyonehastydraughtofwater，andopenedthedoortothetimidgirl。”Oh，Mrs。Denbigh！didyoueverhearsuchanight？IamsofrightenedI andMarysleepssosound。”，Ruthwastoomuchshakentobeabletospeakallatonce;butshetookElizabethinherarmstoreassureher。Elizabethstoodback。”Why，howwetyouare，Mrs。Denbigh！andthere’sthewindowopen，Idobelieve！Oh，howcolditis！”saidshe，shivering。”Getintomybed，dear！”saidRuth。”Butdocometoo！Thecandlegivessuchastrangelightwiththatlongwick，and，somehow，yourfacedoesnotlooklikeyou。Please，putthecandleout，andcometobed。Iamsofrightened，anditseemsasifIshouldbesaferifyouwerebyme。”，Ruthshutthewindow，andwenttobed。Elizabethwasallshiveringandquaking。Tosootheher，Ruthmadeagreateffort;andspokeofLeonardandhisfears，and，inalowhesitatingvoice，shespokeofGod’stendermercy，butveryhumbly，forshefearedlestElizabethshouldthinkherbetterandholierthanshewas。Thelittlegirlwassoonasleep，herfearsforgotten;andRuth，wornoutbypassionateemotion，andobligedtobestillforfearofawakingherbedfellow，wentoffintoashortslumber，throughthedepthsofwhichtheechoesofherwakingsobsquiveredup。Whensheawokethegreylightofautumnaldawnwasintheroom。Elizabethslepton;butRuthheardtheservantsbout，andtheearlyfarmyardsounds。 Aftershehadrecoveredfromtheshockofconsciousnessandrecollection，shecollectedherthoughtswithasterncalmness。Hewashere。Inafewhoursshemustmeethim。Therewasnoescape，exceptthroughsubterfugesandcontrivancesthatwerebothfalseandcowardly。Howitwouldallturnoutshecouldnotsay，orevenguess。Butofonethingshewasclear，andtoonethingshewouldholdfast：thatwas，that，comewhatmight，shewouldobeyGod’slaw，and，betheendofallwhatitmight，shewouldsay，“Thywillbedone！”Sheonlyaskedforstrengthenoughtodothiswhenthetimecame。Howthetimewouldcome——whatspeechoractionwouldberequisiteonherpartshedidnotknow——shedidnoteventrytoconjecture。 SheleftthatinHishands。Shewasicycold，butverycalm，whenthebreakfast-bellrang。Shewentdownimmediately;becauseshefeltthattherewaslesschanceofarecognitionifshewerealreadyatherplacebehindthetea-urn，andbusiedwiththecups，thanifshecameinafterallweresettled。Herheartseemedtostandstill，butshefeltalmostastrangeexultantsenseofpoweroverherself。 Shefelt，ratherthansaw，thathewasnotthere。Mr。BradshawandMr。 Hicksonwere，andsobusytalkingelection-politicsthattheydidnotinterrupttheirconversationevenwhentheybowedtoher。Herpupilssatoneoneachsideofher。Beforetheywerequitesettled，andwhiletheothertwogentlemenyethungoverthefire，Mr。Donnecamein。Ruthfeltasifthatmomentwaslikedeath。Shehadakindofdesiretomakesomesharpsound，torelieveachokingsensation，butitwasoverinaninstant，andshesatonverycomposedandsilent——toalloutwardappearancetheverymodelofagovernesswhoknewherplace。Andby-and-byshefeltstrangelyateaseinhersenseofpower。Shecouldevenlistentowhatwasbeingsaid。ShehadneverdaredasyettolookatMr。Donne，thoughherheartburnedtoseehimonceagain。 Hesoundedchanged。Thevoicehadlostitsfreshandyouthfuleagernessoftone，thoughinpeculiarityofmodulationitwasthesame。Itcouldneverbemistakenforthevoiceofanotherperson。Therewasagooddealsaidatthatbreakfast，fornoneseemedinclinedtohurry，althoughitwasSundaymorning。Ruthwascompelledtositthere，anditwasgoodforherthatshedid。Thathalf-hourseemedtoseparatethepresentMr。DonneveryeffectivelyfromherimaginationofwhatMr。Bellinghamhadbeen。 Shewasnoanalyser;shehardlyevenhadlearnttonoticecharacter;butshefelttherewassomestrangedifferencebetweenthepeopleshehadlivedwithlatelyandthemanwhonowleantbackinhischair，listeninginacarelessmannertotheconversation，butneverjoiningin，orexpressinganyinterestinit，unlessitsomewhere，orsomehow，touchedhimself。Now，Mr。Bradshawalwaysthrewhimselfintoasubject;itmightbeinapompous，dogmaticsortofway，buthediddoit，whetheritrelatedtohimselfornot;anditwaspartofMr。Hickson’stradetoassumeaninterestifhefeltitnot。ButMr。Donnedidneithertheonenortheother。Whentheothertwoweretalkingofmanyofthetopicsoftheday，heputhisglassinhiseye，thebettertoexamineintotheexactnatureofacoldgame-pieattheothersideofthetable。SuddenlyRuthfeltthathisattentionwascaughtbyher。Untilnow，seeinghisshort-sightedness，shehadbelievedherselfsafe;nowherfaceflushedwithapainful，miserableblush。Butinaninstantshewasstrongandquiet。Shelookedupstraightathisface; and，asifthisactiontookhimaback，hedroppedhisglass，andbeganeatingawaywithgreatdiligence。Shehadseenhim。Hewaschanged，sheknewnothow。Infact，theexpression，whichhadbeenonlyoccasionalformerly，whenhisworseselfpredominated，hadbecomepermanent。Helookedrestlessanddissatisfied。Buthewasveryhandsomestill;andherquickeyehadrecognised，withasortofstrangepride，thattheeyesandmouthwerelikeLeonard’s。Althoughperplexedbythestraightforward，bravelookshehadsentrightathim，hewasnotentirelybaffled。HeoughtthisMrs。 DenbighwascertainlylikepoorRuth;butthiswomanwasfarhandsomer。 HerfacewaspositivelyGreek;andthensuchaproud，superbturnofherhead;quitequeenly！AgovernessinMr。Bradshaw’sfamily！Why，shemightbeaPercyoraHowardforthegrandeurofhergrace！PoorRuth！Thiswoman’shairwasdarker，though;andshehadlesscolour;althoughamorerefined-lookingperson。PoorRuth！and，forthefirsttimeforseveralyears，hewonderedwhathadbecomeofher;though，ofcourse，therewasbutonethingthatcouldhavehappened，andperhapsitwasaswellhedidnotknowherend，formostlikelyitwouldhavemadehimveryuncomfortable。Heleantbackinhischair，and，unobserved(forhewouldnothavethoughtitgentlemanlytolooksofixedlyatherifsheoranyonenoticedhim)，heputuphisglassagain。Shewasspeakingtooneofherpupils，anddidnotseehim。ByJove！itmustbeshe，though！Therewerelittledimplescameoutaboutthemouthasshespoke，justlikethoseheusedtoadmiresomuchinRuth，andwhichhehadneverseeninanyoneelse——thesunshinewithoutthepositivemovementofasmile。Thelongerhelookedthemorehewasconvinced;anditwaswithajerkthatherecoveredhimselfenoughtoanswerMr。Bradshaw’squestion，whetherhewishedtogotochurchornot。”Church？Howfar——amile？No;IthinkIshallperformmydevotionsathometo-day。”，HeabsolutelyfeltjealouswhenMr。HicksonspranguptoopenthedoorasRuthandherpupilslefttheroom。Hewaspleasedtofeeljealousagain。 Hehadbeenreallyafraidhewastoomuch“usedup“forsuchsensations。 ButHicksonmustkeephisplace。Whathewaspaidforwasdoingthetalkingtotheelectors，notpayingattentiontotheladlesintheirfamilies。 Mr。DonnehadnoticedthatMr。HicksonhadtriedtobegallanttoMissBradshaw;lethim，ifheliked;butlethimbewarehowhebehavedtothisfaircreature，RuthornoRuth。ItcertainlywasRuth;onlyhowthedevilhadsheplayedhercardssowellastobethegoverness——therespectedgoverness，in。suchafamilyasMr。Bradshaw’s？，Mr。Donne’smovementswereevidentlytobetheguideofMr。Hickson’s。 Mr。Bradshawalwaysdislikedgoingtochurch，partlyfromprinciple，partlybecausehenevercouldfindtheplacesinthePrayer-book。Mr。Donnewasinthedrawing-roomasMarycamedownreadyequipped;hewasturningovertheleavesofthelargeandhandsomeBible。SeeingMary，hewasstruckwithanewidea。”Howsingularitis，“saidhe，“thatthenameofRuthissoseldomchosenbythosegoodpeoplewhogototheBiblebeforetheychristentheirchildren！ Itisaveryprettyname，Ithink。”，Mr。Bradshawlookedup。“Why，Mary！”saidhe，“isnotthatMrs。Denbigh’sname？”“Yes，papa，“repliedMaryeagerly;“andIknowtwootherRuths;there’sRuthBrownhere，andRuthMacartneyatEccleston。”，“AndIhaveanauntcalledRuth，Mr。Donne！Idon’tthinkyourobservationholdsgood。Besidesmydaughters’governess，IknowthreeotherRuths。”，“Oh！IhavenodoubtIwaswrong。Itwasjustaspeechofwhichoneperceivesthefollythemomentitismade。”，But，secretly，herejoicedwithafiercejoyoverthesuccessofhisdevice。ElizabethcametosummonMary。Ruthwasgladwhenshegotintotheopenair，andawayfromthehouse。 Twohoursweregoneandover。Twooutofaday，adayandahalf——foritmightbelateonMondaymorningbeforetheEcclestonpartyreturned。Shefeltweakandtremblinginbody，butstronginpoweroverherself。 Theyhadleftthehouseingoodtimeforchurch，sotheyneedednottohurry;andtheywentleisurelyalongtheroad，nowandthenpassingsomecountrypersonwhomtheyknew，andwithwhomtheyexchangedakindly，placidgreeting。Butpresently，toRuth’sdismay，sheheardastepbehind，comingatarapidpace，apeculiarclankofratherhigh-heeledboots，whichgaveaspringysoundtothewalk，thatshehadknownwelllongago。Itwaslikeanightmare，wheretheevildreadedisneveravoided，nevercompletelyshunned，butisbyone’ssideattheverymomentoftriumphinescape。 Therehewasbyherside;andtherewasstillaquarterofamileinterveningbetweenherandthechurch：butevenyetshetrustedthathehadnotrecognisedher。”Ihavechangedmymind，yousee，saidhequietly。”Ihavesomecuriositytoseethearchitectureofthechurch;someoftheseoldcountrychurcheshavesingularbitsaboutthem。Mr。Bradshawkindlydirectedmepartoftheway;butIwassomuchpuzzledby’turnstotheright’and’turnstotheleft，’thatIwasquitegladtoespyyourparty。”，Thatspeechrequired。nopositiveanswerofanykind;andnoanswerdiditreceive。Hehadnotexpectedareply。Heknew，ifshewereRuth，shecouldnotansweranyindifferentwordsofhis;andhersilencemadehimmorecertainofheridentitywiththeladybyhisside。”Thesceneryhereisofakindnewtome;neithergrand，wild，noryetmarkedbyhighcultivation;andyetithasgreatcharms。ItremindsmeofsomepartofWales。”Hebreatheddeeply，andthenadded，“YouhavebeeninWales，Ibelieve？”Hespokelow;almostinawhisper。Thelittlechurch-bellbegantocallthelaggingpeoplewithitsquick，sharpsummons。Ruthwrithedinbodyandspirit，butstruggledon。Thechurch-doorwouldbegainedatlast; andinthatholyplaceshewouldfindpeace。Herepeatedinaloudertone，soastocompelananswerinordertoconcealheragitationfromthegirls——，“HaveyouneverbeeninWales？”Heused“never“insteadof“ever，“andlaidtheemphasisonthatword，inordertomarkhismeaningtoRuth，andRuthonly。Buthedrovehertobay。”IhavebeeninWales，sir，“shereplied，inacalm，gravetone。“Iwastheremanyyearsago。Eventstookplacetherewhichcontributetomaketherecollectionsofthattimemostmiserabletome。Ishallbeobligedtoyou，sir，ifyouwillmakenofurtherreferencetoit。”，ThelittlegirlswonderedhowMrs。DenbighcouldspeakinsuchahightoneofquietauthoritytoMr。Donne，whowasalmostamemberofParliament。 ButtheysettledthatherhusbandmusthavediedinWales，and，ofcourse，thatwouldmaketherecollectionofthecountry“mostmiserable，“asshesaid。Mr。Donnedidnotdisliketheanswer，andhepositivelyadmiredthedignitywithwhichshespoke。Hisleavingherashedidmusthavemadeherverymiserable;andhelikedthepridethatmadeherretainherindignation，untilhecouldspeaktoherinprivate，andexplainawayagooddealofwhatshemightcomplainofwithsomejustice。Thechurchwasreached。TheyallwentupthemiddleaisleintotheEagle’sCragpew。Hefollowedthemin，enteredhimself，andshutthedoor。Ruth’sheartsankasshesawhimthere;justoppositetoher;comingbetweenherandtheclergymanwhowastoreadoutthewordofGod。Itwasmerciless——itwascrueltohauntherthere。Shedurstnotlifthereyestothebrighteasternlight——shecouldnotseehowpeacefullythemarbleimagesofthedeadlayontheirtombs，forhewasbetweenherandallLightandPeace。 Sheknewthathislookwasonher;thatheneverturnedhisglanceaway。 Shecouldnotjoinintheprayerfortheremissionofsinswhilehewasthere，forhisverypresenceseemedasasignthattheirstainwouldneverbewashedoutofherlife。But，althoughgoadedandchafedbyherthoughtsandrecollections，shekeptverystill。Nosignofemotion，noflushofcolourwasonherfaceashelookedather。Elizabethcouldnotfindherplace，andthenRuthbreathedonce，longanddeeply，asshemovedupthepew，andoutofthestraight，burningglanceofthoseeyesofevilmeaning。 Whentheysatdownforthereadingofthefirstlesson，Ruthturnedthecorneroftheseatsoasnolongertobeoppositetohim。Shecouldnotlisten。Thewordsseemedtobeutteredinsomeworldfaraway，fromwhichshewasexiledandcastouttheirsound，andyetmoretheirmeaning，wasdimanddistant。Butinthisextremetensionofmindtoholdinherbewilderedagony，itsohappenedthatoneofhersenseswaspreternaturallyacute。 Whileallthechurchandthepeopleswaminmistyhaze，onepointinadarkcornergrewclearerandclearertillshesaw(whatatanothertimeshecouldnothavediscernedatall)aface——agargoyleIthinktheycallit——attheendofthearchnexttothenarrowingofthenaveintothechancel，andintheshadowofthatcontraction。Thefacewasbeautifulinfeature(thenexttoitwasagrinningmonkey)，butitwasnotthefeaturesthatwerethemoststrikingpart。Therewasahalf-openmouth，notinanywaydistortedoutofitsexquisitebeautybytheintenseexpressionofsufferingitconveyed。Anydistortionofthefacebymentalagonyimpliesthatastrugglewithcircumstanceisgoingon。Butinthisface，ifsuchstrugglehadbeen，itwasovernow。Circumstancehadconquered;andtherewasnohopefrommortalendeavour，orhelpfrommortalcreature，tobehad。Buttheeyeslookedonwardandupwardtothe“hillsfromwhencecomethourhelp。”Andthoughthepartedlipsseemedreadytoquiverwithagony，yettheexpressionofthewholeface，owingtothesestrange，stony，andyetspiritualeyes，washighandconsoling。Ifmortalgazehadneversoughtitsmeaningbefore，inthedeepshadowwhereithadbeenplacedlongcenturiesago，yetRuth’sdidnow。Whocouldhaveimaginedsuchalook？Whocouldhavewitnessed——perhapsfelt——suchinfinitesorrowandyetdaredtoliftitupbyFaithintoapeacesopure？Orwasitamereconception？Ifso，whatasoultheunknowncarvermusthavehad;forcreatorandhandicraftsmanmusthavebeenone;notwomindscouldhavebeeninsuchperfectharmony。 Whateveritwas——howeveritcamethere——imaginer，carver，sufferer，allwerelongpassedaway。Humanartwasended——humanlifedone——humansufferingover;butthisremained;itstilledRuth’sbeatinghearttolookonit。 Shegrew。stillenoughtohearwordswhichhavecometomanyintheirtimeofneed，andawedtheminthepresenceoftheextremestsufferingthatthehushedworldhadeverheardof。Thesecondlessonforthemorningofthe25thofSeptemberisthe26thchapterofSt。Matthew’sGospel。AndwhentheyprayedagainRuth’stonguewasunloosed，andshealsocouldpray，inHisnamewhounderwenttheagonyinthegarden。Astheycameoutofchurch，therewasalittlepauseandgatheringatthedoor。Ithadbeguntorain;thosewhohadumbrellaswereputtingthemup; thosewhohadnotwereregretting，andwonderinghowlongitwouldlast。 Standingforamoment，impededbythepeoplewhowerethuscollectedundertheporch，Ruthheardavoiceclosetohersay，verylow，butverydistinctly——，“Ihavemuchtosaytoyou——muchtoexplain。Ientreatyoutogivemetheopportunity。”，Ruthdidnotreply。Shewouldnotacknowledgethatsheheard;butshetremblednevertheless，forthewell-rememberedvoicewaslowandsoft，andhadyetitspowertothrill。Sheearnestlydesiredtoknowwhyandhowhehadlefther。Itappearedtoherasifthatknowledgecouldalonegiveherarelieffromtherestlesswonderingthatdistractedhermind，andthatoneexplanationcoulddonoharm。”No！“the。higherspiritmadeanswer;“itmustnotbe。”，Ruthandthegirlshadeachanumbrella。SheturnedtoMary，andsaid——，“Mary，giveyourumbrellatoMr。Donne，andcomeundermine。”Herwayofspeakingwasshortanddecided;shewascompressinghermeaningintoasfewwordsaspossible。Thelittlegirlobeyedinsilence。AstheywentfirstthroughthechurchyardstileMr。Donnespokeagain。”Youareunforgiving，“saidhe。“Ionlyaskyoutohearme。Ihavearighttobeheard，Ruth！Iwon’tbelieveyouaresomuchchangedasnottolistentomewhenIentreat。”，Hespokeinatoneofsoftcomplaint。Buthehimselfhaddonemuchtodestroytheillusionwhichhadhungabouthismemoryforyears，wheneverRuthhadallowedherselftothinkofit。Besideswhich，duringthetimeofherresidenceintheBensonfamily，herfeelingofwhatpeopleoughttohehadbeenunconsciouslyraisedandrefined;andMr。Donne，evenwhileshehadtostruggleagainsttheforceofpastrecollections，repelledhersomuchbywhathewasatpresent，thateveryspeechofhis，everyminutetheyweretogether，servedtomakeherpathmoreandmoreeasytofollow。Hisvoiceretainedsomethingofitsformerinfluence。Whenhespoke，withoutherseeinghim，shecouldnothelprememberingformerdays。Shedidnotanswerthislastspeechanymorethanthefirst。Shesawclearly，that，puttingasideallthoughtastothecharacteroftheirformerrelationship，ithadbeendissolvedbyhiswill——hisactanddeed;andthat，therefore，thepowertorefuseanyfurtherintercoursewhatsoeverremainedwithher。Itsometimesseemsalittlestrangehow，afterhavingearnestlyprayedtobedeliveredfromtemptation，andhavinggivenourselveswithshuteyesintoGod’shand，fromthattimeeverythought，everyoutwardinfluence，everyacknowledgedlawoflife，seemstoleadusonfromstrengthtostrength。 Itseemsstrangesometimes，becausewenoticethecoincidence;butitisthenatural，unavoidableconsequenceofall，truthandgoodnessbeingoneandthesame，andthereforecarriedoutineverycircumstance，externalandinternal，ofGod’screation。WhenMr。DonnesawthatRuthwouldnotanswerhim，hebecameonlythemoredeterminedthatsheshouldhearwhathehadtosay。Whatthatwashedidnotexactlyknow。Thewholeaffairwasmostmysteriousandpiquant。TheumbrellaprotectedRuthfrommorethantherainonthatwalkhomewards，forunderitssheltershecouldnotbespokentounheard。Shehadnotrightlyunderstoodatwhattimesheandthegirlsweretodine。Fromthegatheringatmeal-timesshemustnotshrink。Shemustshownosignofweakness。But，oh！therelief，afterthatwalk，tositinherownroom，lockedup，sothatneitherMarynorElizabethcouldcomebysurprise，andtoletherwearyframe(wearywithbeingsolongbraceduptorigidityandstiffquiet) fallintoachairanyhow——allhelpless，nerveless，motionless，asiftheveryboneshadmeltedoutofher！，ThepeacefulrestwhichhermindtookwasinthinkingofLeonard。Shedarednotlookbeforeorbehind，butshecouldseehimwellatpresent。Shebroodedoverthethoughtofhim，tillshedreadedhisfathermoreandmore。Bythelightofherchild’spurityandinnocence，shesawevilclearly，andyetmoreclearly。Shethoughtthat，ifLeonardevercametoknowthenatureofhisbirth，shehadnothingforitbuttodieoutofhissight。Hecouldneverknow——humanheartcouldneverknow，herignorantinnocence，andallthesmallcircumstanceswhichhadimpelledheronwards。ButGodknew。AndifLeonardheardofhismother’serror，why，nothingremainedbutdeath; forshefelt，then，asifshehaditinherpowertodieinnocentlyoutofsuchfutureagony;butthatescapeisnotsoeasy。Suddenlyafreshthoughtcame，andsheprayedthat，throughwhateversuffering，shemightbepurified。Whatevertrials，woes，measurelesspangs，Godmightseefittochastiseherwith，shewouldnotshrink，ifonlyatlastshemightcomeintoHispresenceinheaven。Alas！theshrinkingfromsufferingwecannothelp。Thatpartofherprayerwasvain。Andasfortherest，wasnotthesurejusticeofHislawfindingoutevennow？Hislawsoncebroken，Hisjusticeandtheverynatureofthoselawsbringtheimmutableretribution; but，ifweturnpenitentlytoHim，Heenablesustobearourpunishmentwithameekanddocileheart，“forHismercyendurethforever。”，Mr。Bradshawhadfelthimselfratherwantinginproperattentiontohisguest，inasmuchashehadbeenunable，allinaminute，tocomprehendMr。 Donne’srapidchangeofpurpose;and，beforeithadenteredintohismindthat，notwithstandingthedistanceofthechurch，Mr。Donnewasgoingthither，thatgentlemanwasoutofthesight，andfaroutofthereach，ofhisburlyhost。ButthoughthelatterhadsofarneglectedthedutiesofhospitalityastoallowhisvisitortositintheEagle’sCragpewwithnootherguardofhonourthanthechildrenandthegoverness，Mr。Bradshawdeterminedtomakeupforitbyextraattentionduringtheremainderoftheday。AccordinglyheneverleftMr。Donne。Whateverwishthatgentlemanexpressed，itwasthestudyofhishosttogratify。Didhehintatthepleasurewhichawalkinsuchbeautifulscenerywouldgivehim，Mr。Bradshawwaswillingtoaccompanyhim，althoughatEcclestonitwasaprinciplewithhimnottotakeanywalksforpleasureonaSunday。WhenMr。Donneturnedround，andrecollectedletterswhichmustbewritten，andwhichwouldcompelhimtostayathome，Mr。Bradshawinstantlygaveupthewalk，andremainedathand，readytofurnishhimwithanywriting-materialswhichcouldbewanted，andwhichwerenotlaidoutinthehalf-furnishedhouse。NobodyknewwhereMr。Hicksonwasallthistime。HehadsaunteredoutafterMr。Donne，whenthelattersetoffforchurch，andhehadneverreturned。Mr。DonnekeptwonderingifhecouldhavemetRuth——if，infact，shehadgoneoutwithherpupils，nowthattheafternoonhadclearedup。Thisuneasywonder，andafewmentalimprecationsonhishost’spoliteattention，togetherwiththeletter-writingpretence，passedawaytheafternoon——thelongestafternoonhehadeverspent;andofwearinesshehadhadhisshare。Lunchwaslingeringinthedining-room，leftthereforthetruantMr。Hickson;butofthechildrenorRuththerewasnosign。Heventuredonadistantinquiryastotheirwhereabouts。”Theydineearly;theyaregonetochurchagain。Mrs。DenbighwasamemberoftheEstablishmentonce;and，thoughsheattendschapelathome，sheseemsgladtohaveanopportunityofgoingtochurch。”，Mr。Donnewasonthepointofaskingsomefurtherquestionsabout“Mrs。 Denbigh，“whenMr。Hicksoncamem，loud-spoken，cheerful，hungry，andasreadytotalkabouthisramble，andthewayinwhichhehadlostandfoundhimself，ashewasabouteverythingelse。Heknewhowtodressupthecommonestoccurrencewithalittleexaggeration，afewpuns，andahappyquotationortwo，soastomakeitsoundveryagreeable。Hecouldreadfaces，andsawthathehadbeenmissed;bothhostandvisitorlookedmopedtodeath。 Hedeterminedtodevotehimselftotheiramusementduringtheremainderoftheday，forhehadreallylosthimself，andfeltthathehadbeenawaytoolongonadullSunday，whenpeoplewereapttogethippedifnotwellamused。”Itisreallyashametobeindoorsinsuchaplace。Rain？Yes，itrainedsomehoursago，butnowitissplendidweather。Ifeelmyselfquitequalifiedforguide，Iassureyou。Icanshowyouallthebeautiesoftheneighbourhood，andthrowinabogandanestofviperstoboot。”，Mr。Donnelanguidlyassentedtothisproposalofgoingout;andthenhebecamerestlessuntilMr。Hicksonhadeatenahastylunch，forhehopedtomeetRuthonthewayfromchurch，tobenearher，andwatchher，thoughhemightnotbeabletospeaktoher。Tohavetheslowhoursrollaway——toknowhemustleavethenextday——andyet，soclosetoher，nottobeseeingher——wasmorethanhecouldbear。Inanimpetuouskindofway，hedisregardedallMr。Hickson’soffersofguidancetolovelyviews，andturnedadeafeartoMr。Bradshaw’sexpressedwishofshowinghimthelandbelongingtothehouse(“verylittleforfourteenthousandpounds“)，andsetoffwilfullyontheroadleadingtothechurch，fromwhichheaverredhehadseenaviewwhichnothingelseabouttheplacecouldequal。Theymetthecountrypeopledroppinghomewards。NoRuthwasthere。Sheandherpupilshadreturnedbythefield-way，asMr。Bradshawinformedhisguestsatdinner-time。Mr。Donnewasverycaptiousallthroughdinner。 Hethoughtitneverwouldbeover，andcursedHickson’sinterminablestories，whichweretoldonpurposetoamusehim。Hisheartgaveafierceboundwhenhesawherinthedrawing-roomwiththelittlegirls。Shewasreadingtothem——withhowsickandtremblingaheartnowordscantell。Butshecouldmasterandkeepdownoutwardsignsofheremotion。 Anhourmoreto-night(partofwhichwastobespentinfamilyprayer，andallinthesafetyofcompany)，anotherhourinthemorning(whenallwouldbeengagedinthebustleofdeparture)——if，duringthisshortspaceoftime，shecouldnotavoidspeakingtohim，shecouldatleastkeephimatsuchadistanceastomakehimfeelthathenceforwardherworldandhisbelongedtoseparatesystems，wideastheheavensapart。Bydegreesshefeltthathewasdrawingneartowhereshestood。Hewasbythetableexaminingthebooksthatlayuponit。MaryandElizabethdrewoffalittlespace，awe-strickenbythefuturememberforEccleston。Ashebenthisheadoverabookhesaid，“Iimploreyou;fiveminutesalone。”，Thelittlegirlscouldnothear;butRuth，hemmedinsothatnoescapewaspossible，didhear。Shetooksuddencourage，andsaidinaclearvoice——，“Willyoureadthewholepassagealoud？Idonotrememberit。”，Mr。Hickson，hoveringatnogreatdistance，heardthesewords，anddrewneartosecondMrs。Denbigh’srequest。Mr。Bradshaw，whowasverysleepyafterhisunusuallylatedinner，andlongingforbedtime，joinedintherequest，foritwouldsavethenecessityformakingtalk，andhemight，perhaps，getinanap，undisturbedandunnoticed，beforetheservantscameintoprayers。Mr。Donnewascaught;hewasobligedtoreadaloud，althoughhedidnotknowwhathewasreading。Inthemiddleofsomesentencethedooropened，arushofservantscamein，andMr。Bradshawbecameparticularlywideawakeinaninstant，andreadthemalongsermonwithgreatemphasisandunction，windingupwithaprayeralmostaslong。Ruthsatwithherheaddrooping，morefromexhaustion。afteraseasonofeffortthanbecausesheshunnedMr。Donne’slooks。Hehadsolosthispoweroverher——hispower，whichhadstirredhersodeeplythenightbefore——that，exceptasoneknowinghererrorandhershame，andmakingacrueluseofsuchknowledge，shehadquiteseparatedhimfromtheidolofheryouth。 Andyet，forthesakeofthatfirstandonlylove，shewouldgladlyhaveknownwhatexplanationhecouldoffertoaccountforleavingher。Itwouldhavebeensomethinggainedtoherownself-respectifshehadlearntthathewasnotthen，asshefelthimtobenow，coldandegotistical，caringfornooneandnothingbutwhatrelatedtohimself。Home，andLeonard——howstrangelypeacefulthetwoseemed！Oh，fortherestthatadreamaboutLeonardwouldbring！，MaryandElizabethwenttobedimmediatelyafterprayers，andRuthaccompaniedthem。Itwasplannedthatthegentlemenshouldleaveearlythenextmorning。 Theyweretobreakfasthalf-an-hoursooner，tocatchtherailway-train; andthisbyMr。Donne’sownarrangement，whohadbeenaseagerabouthiscanvassing，theweekbefore，asitwaspossibleforhimtobe，butwhonowwishedEcclestonandtheDissentinginterestthereinveryferventlyatthedevil。JustasthecarriagecameroundMr。BradshawturnedtoRuth“AnymessageforLeonardbeyondlove，whichisamatterofcourse？”Ruthgasped——forshesawMr。Donnecatchatthename;shedidnotguessthesuddensharpjealousycalledoutbytheideathatLeonardwasagrown-upman。”WhoisLeonard？”saidhetothelittlegirlstandingbyhim;hedidnotknowwhichshewas。”Mrs。Denbigh’slittleboy，“answeredMary。Undersomepretenceorother，hedrewneartoRuth;andinthatlowvoicewhichshehadlearnttoloathehesaid——，“Ourchild？”Bythewhitemiserythatturnedherfacetostone——bythewildterrorinherimploringeyes——bythegaspingbreathwhichcameoutasthecarriagedroveaway——heknewthathehadseizedthespelltomakeherlistenatlast。 chapter24，CHAPTERXXIV，THEMEETINGONTHESANDS，“HEwilltakehimawayfromme！Hewilltakethechildfromme！”ThesewordsranglikeatollingbellthroughRuth’shead。Itseemedtoherthatherdoomwascertain。Leonardwouldbetakenfromher。Shehadafirmconviction——notthelessfirmbecausesheknewnotonwhatitwasbased——thatachild，whetherlegitimateornot，belongedoflegalrighttothefather。AndLeonard，ofallchildren，wastheprincemindmonarch。 Everyman’sheartwouldlongtocallLeonard“Child！”Shehadbeentoostronglytaxedtohavemuchpowerlefthertoreasoncoollyanddispassionately，justthen，evenifshehadbeenwithanyonewhocouldfurnishherwithinformationfromwhichtodrawcorrectconclusions。Theonethoughthauntedhernightandday——“Hewilltakemychildawayfromme！”InherdreamsshesawLeonardborneawayintosomedimland，towhichshecouldnotfollow。 Sometimeshesatinaswiftly-movingcarriage，athisfather’sside，andsmiledonherashepassedby，asifgoingtopromisedpleasure。Atanothertimehewasstrugglingtoreturntoher;stretchingouthislittlearms，andcryingtoherforthehelpshecouldnotgive。Howshegotthroughthedaysshedidnotknow;herbodymovedaboutandhabituallyacted，butherspiritwaswithherchild。ShethoughtoftenofwritingandwarningMr。BensonofLeonard’sdanger;butthensheshrankfromrecurringtocircumstancesallmentionofwhichhadceasedyearsago;theveryrecollectionofwhichseemedburieddeepforever。Besides，shefearedoccasioningdiscordorcommotioninthequietcircleinwhichshelived。Mr。Benson’sdeepangeragainstherbetrayerhadbeenshowntooclearlyintheoldtimetoallowhertothinkthathewouldkeepitdownwithoutexpressionnow。Hewouldceasetodoanythingtoforwardhiselectionhewouldopposehimasmuchashecould;andMr。Bradshawwouldbeangry，andastormwouldarise，fromthebarethoughtofwhichRuthshrankwiththecowardlinessofapersonthoroughlywornoutwithlatecontest。Shewasbodilyweariedwithherspiritualbuffeting。Onemorning，threeorfourdaysaftertheirdeparture，shereceivedaletterfromMissBenson。Shecouldnotopenitatfirst，andputitononeside，clenchingherhandsoveritallthetime。Atlastshetoreitopen。Leopardwassafeasyet。Therewereafewlinesinhisgreatroundhand，speakingofeventsnolargerthanthelossofabeautiful“alley。”TherewasasheetfromMissBenson。Shealwayswrotelettersinthemannerofadiary。“Mondaywedidso-and-so;Tuesday，so-and-so，&c。”Ruthglancedrapidlydownthepages。Yes，hereitwas！Sick，flutteringheart，bestill！，“Inthemiddleofthedamsons，whentheywerejustonthefire，therewasaknockatthedoor。Mybrotherwasout，andSallywaswashingup，andIwasstirringthepreservewithmygreatapronandbibon;soIbadeLeonardcomeinfromthegardenandopenthedoor。ButIwouldhavewashedhisfacefirstifIhadknownwhoitwas！ItwasMr。BradshawandtheMr。DonnethattheyhopetosenduptotheHouseofCommons，asmemberofParliamentforEccleston，andanothergentleman，whosenameIneverheard。Theyhadcomecanvassing;andwhentheyfoundmybrotherwasout，theyaskedLeonardiftheycouldseeme。Thechildsaid，’Yes！ifIcouldleavethedamsons;’ andstraightwaycametocallme，leavingthemstandinginthepassage。 Iwhippedoffmyapron，andtookLeonardbythehand，forIfanciedIshouldfeellessawkwardifhewaswithme;andthenIwentandaskedthemallintothestudy，forIthoughtIshouldlikethemtoseehowmanybooksThurstanhadgot。Thentheybegantalkingpoliticsatmeinaverypolitemanner，onlyIcouldnotmakeheadortailofwhattheymeant;andMr。 DonnetookadealofnoticeofLeonard，andcalledhimtohim;andIamsurehenoticedwhatanoble，handsomeboyhewas，thoughhisfacewasverybrownandred，andhotwithdigging，andhiscurlsalltangled。Leonardtalkedbackasifhehadknownhimallhislife，till，IthinkMr。Bradshawthoughthewasmakingtoomuchnoise，andbidhimrememberheoughttobeseen，notheard。Sohestoodasstillandstiffasasoldier，closetoMr。Donne;andasIcouldnothelplookingatthetwo，andthinkinghowhandsometheybothwereintheirdifferentways，IcouldnottellThurstanhalfthemessagesthegentlemenleftforhim。ButtherewasonethingmoreImusttellyou，thoughIsaidIwouldnot。WhenMr。DonnewastalkingtoLeonard，hetookoffhiswatchandchainandputitroundtheboy’sneck，whowaspleasedenough，youmaybesure。Ibadehimgiveitbacktothegentleman，whentheywereallgoingaway;andIwasquitesurprised，andveryuncomfortable，whenMr。DonnesaidhehadgivenittoLeonard，andthathewastokeepitforhisown。IcouldseeMr。Bradshawwasannoyed，andheandtheothergentlemanspoketoMr。Donne，andIheardthemsay，’toobarefaced;’andIshallneverforgetMr。Donne’sproud，stubbornlookbackatthem，norhiswayofsaying，’IallownoonetointerferewithwhatIchoosetodowithmyown。’Andhelookedsohaughtyanddispleased，Idurstsaynothingatthetime。ButwhenItoldThurstan，hewasverygrievedandangry;andsaidhehadheardthatourpartywerebribing，butthathenevercouldhavethoughttheywouldhavetriedtodoitathishouse。Thurstanisverymuchoutofspiritsaboutthiselectionaltogether; and，indeed，itdoesmakesadworkupanddownthetown。However，hesentbackthewatch，withalettertoMr。Bradshaw;andLeonardwasverygoodaboutit，soIgavehimatasteofthenewdamson-preserveonhisbreadforsupper。”，Althoughastrangermighthaveconsideredthisletterwearisome，fromthemultiplicityofthedetails，Ruthcravedgreedilyaftermore。WhathadMr。DonnesaidtoLeonard？HadLeonardlikedhisnewacquaintance？Weretheylikelytomeetagain？Afterwonderingandwonderingoverthesepoints，Ruthcomposedherselfbythehopethatinadayortwosheshouldhearagain;and，tosecurethisend，sheansweredthelettersbyreturnofpost。 ThatwasonThursday。OnFridayshehadanotherletter，inastrangehand。 ItwasfromMr。Donne。Noname，noinitialsweregiven。Ifithadfallenintoanotherperson’shands，theycouldnothaverecognisedthewriter，norguessedtowhomitwassent。Itcontainedsimplythesewords：——，“Forourchild’ssake，andinhisname，IsummonyoutoappointaplacewhereIcanspeak，andyoucanlisten，undisturbed。ThetimemustbeonSunday;thelimitofdistancemaybethecircumferenceofyourpowerofwalking。Mywordsmaybecommands，butmyfondheartentreats。MoreIshallnotsaynow，but，remember！yourboy’swelfaredependsonyouraccedingtothisrequest。AddressB。D。Post-Office，Eccleston。”，Ruthdidnotattempttoanswerthislettertillthelastfiveminutesbeforethepostwentout。Shecouldnotdecideuntilforcedtoit。Eitherwayshedreaded。Shewasverynearlyleavingtheletteraltogetherunanswered。 Butsuddenlysheresolvedshewouldknowall，thebest，theworst。Nocowardlydreadofherself，orofothers，shouldmakeherneglectaughtthatcametoherinherchild’sname。Shetookupapenandwrote——，“Thesandsbelowtherocks，wherewemetyoutheothernight。Time，afternoonchurch。”，Sundaycame。”Ishallnotgotochurchthisafternoon。Youknowtheway，ofcourse; andItrustyoutogosteadilybyyourselves。”，Whentheycametokissherbeforeleavingher，accordingtotheirfondwont，theywerestruckbythecoldnessofherfaceandlips。”Areyounotwell，dearMrs。Denbigh？Howcoldyouare！”“Yes，darling！Iamwell;“andtearssprangintohereyesasshelookedattheiranxiouslittlefaces。“Gonow，dears。Fiveo’clockwillsoonbehere，andthenwewillhavetea。”，“Andthatwillwarmyou！”saidthey，leavingtheroom。”Andthenitwillbeover，“shemurmured——“over。”，Itnevercameintoherheadtowatchthegirlsastheydisappeareddownthelaneontheirwaytochurch。Sheknewthemtoowelltodistrusttheirdoingwhattheyweretold。Shesatstill，herheadbowedonherarmsforafewminutes，andthenroseupandwenttoputonherwalkingthings。 Somethoughtsimpelledhertosuddenhaste。Shecrossedthefieldbythesideofthehouse，randownthesteepandrockypath，andwascarriedbytheimpetusofherdescentfaroutonthelevelsands——butnotfarenoughforherintent。Withoutlookingtotherighthandortotheleft，wherecomersmightbeseen，。shewentforwardstotheblackposts，which，risingabovetheheavingwaters，markedwherethefishermen’snetswerelaid。 Shewentstraighttowardsthisplace，andhardlystintedherpaceevenwherethewetsandswereglitteringwiththerecedingwaves。Oncethere，sheturnedround，and，inadartingglance，sawthatasyetnoonewasnear。Shewasperhapshalf-a-mileormorefromthegrey，silveryrocks，whichslopedawayintobrownmoorland，interspersedwithafieldhereandthereofgolden，wavingcorn。Behindwerepurplehills，withsharp，clearoutlines，touchingthesky。AlittleononesidefromwhereshestoodshesawthewhitecottagesandhouseswhichformedthevillageofAbermouth，scatteredupanddown;and，onawindyhill，aboutamileinland，shesawthelittlegreychurch，whereevennowmanywereworshippinginpeace。”Prayforme！”shesighedoutasthisobjectcaughthereye。Andnow，closeundertheheatheryfields，wheretheyfellsoftlydownandtouchedthesands，shesawafiguremovinginthedirectionofthegreatshadowmadebytherocks——goingtowardstheverypointwherethepathfromEagle’sCragcamedowntotheshore。”Itishe！”saidshetoherself。Andsheturnedroundandlookedseaward。 Thetidehadturned;thewaveswereslowlyreceding，asiflothtolosetheholdtheyhad，solately，andwithsuchswiftbounds，gainedontheyellowsands。Theeternalmoantheyhavemadesincetheworldbeganfilledtheear，brokenonlybytheskirlofthegreysea-birdsastheyalightedingroupsontheedgeofthewaters，orastheyroseupwiththeirmeasured，balancingmotion，andthesunlightcaughttheirwhitebreasts。Therewasnosignofhumanlifetobeseen;noboat，ordistantsail，ornearshrimper。 Theblackpoststherewereallthatspokeofmen’sworkorlabour。Beyondastretchofthewaters，afewpalegreyhillsshowedlikefilms;theirsummitsclear，thoughfaint，theirbaseslostinavapourymist。Onthehard，echoingsands，anddistinctfromtheceaselessmurmurofthesaltseawaves，camefootsteps——nearer——nearer。VeryneartheywerewhenRuth，unwillingtoshowthefearthatriotedinherheart，turnedround，andfacedMr。Donne。Hecameforward，withbothhandsextended。”Thisiskind！myownRuth，“saidhe。Ruth’sarmshungdownmotionlessathersides。”What！Ruth，haveyounowordforme？”“Ihavenothingtosay，“saidRuth。”Why，youlittlerevengefulcreature！AndsoIamtoexplainall，beforeyouwilleventreatmewithdecentcivility。”，“Idonotwantexplanations，“saidRuthinatremblingtone。“Wemustnotspeakofthepast。YouaskedmetocomeinLeonard’s——inmychild’sname，andtohearwhatyouhadtosayabouthim。”，“ButwhatIhavetosayabouthimrelatestoyouevenmore。Andhowcanwetalkabouthimwithoutrecurringtothepast？Thatpast，whichyoutrytoignore——Iknowyoucannotdoitinyourheart——isfullofhappyrecollectionstome。WereyounothappyinWales？”hesaidinhistenderesttone。Buttherewasnoanswer;notevenonefaintsigh，thoughhelistenedintently。”Youdarenotspeak;youdarenotanswerme。Yourheartwillnotallowyoutoprevaricate，andyouknowyouwerehappy。”，SuddenlyRuth’sbeautifuleyeswereraisedtohim，fulloflucidsplendour，butgraveandseriousintheirexpression;andhercheeks，heretoforesofaintlytingedwiththetenderestblush，flashedintoaruddyglow。”Iwashappy。Idonotdenyit。Whatevercomes，Iwillnotblenchfromthetruth。Ihaveansweredyou。”，“Andyet，“repliedhe，secretlyexultinginheradmission，andnotperceivingtheinnerstrengthofwhichshemusthavebeenconsciousbeforeshewouldhavedaredtomakeit——“andyet，Ruth，wearenottorecurtothepast！ Whynot？Ifitwashappyatthetime，istherecollectionofitsomiserabletoyou？”Hetriedoncemoretotakeherhand，butshequietlysteppedback。”Icametohearwhatyouhadtosayaboutmychild，“saidshe，beginningtofeelveryweary。”Ourchild，Ruth。”，Shedrewherselfup，andherfacewentverypale。”Whathaveyoutosayabouthim？”askedshecoldly。”Much，“exclaimedhe——“muchthatmayaffecthiswholelife。Butitalldependsuponwhetheryouwillhearmeornot。”，“Ilisten。”，“Goodheavens！Ruth，youwilldrivememad。Oh！whatachangedpersonyouarefromthesweet，lovingcreatureyouwere！Iwishyouwerenotsobeautiful。” Shedidnotreply，buthecaughtadeep，involuntarysigh。”WillyouhearmeifIspeak，thoughImaynotbeginallatoncetotalkofthisboy——aboyofwhomanymother——anyparent，mightbeproud？Icouldseethat，Ruth。Ihaveseenhim;helookedlikeaprinceinthatcramped，miserablehouse，andwithnoearthlyadvantages。Itisashameheshouldnothaveeverykindofopportunitylaidopenbeforehim。”，Therewasnosignofmaternalambitiononthemotionlessface，thoughtheremightbesomelittlespringinherheart，asitbeatquickandstrongattheideaoftheproposalsheimaginedhewasgoingtomakeoftakingherboyawaytogivehimthecarefuleducationshehadoftencravedforhim。 Sheshouldrefuseit，asshewouldeverythingelsewhichseemedtoimplythatsheacknowledgedaclaimoverLeonard;butyetsometimes，forherboy’ssake，shehadlongedforalargeropening——amoreextendedsphere。”Ruth！youacknowledgewewerehappyonce;——therewerecircumstanceswhich，ifIcouldtellyouthemallindetail，wouldshowyouhow，inmyweak，convalescentstate，Iwasalmostpassiveinthehandsofothers。Ah，Ruth！ Ihavenotforgottenthetendernursewhosoothedmeinmydelirium。WhenIamfeverish，IdreamthatIamagainatLlan-dhu，inthelittleoldbedchamber，andyou，inwhite——whichyoualwaysworethen，youknow——flittingaboutme。”，Thetearsdropped，largeandroundfromRuth’seyes——shecouldnothelpit——howcouldshe？，“Wewerehappythen，“continuedhe，gainingconfidencefromthesightofhermeltedmood，andrecurringoncemoretotheadmissionwhichheconsideredsomuchinhisfavour。“Cansuchhappinessneverreturn？”Thushewenton，quickly，anxioustolaybeforeherallhehadtooffer，beforesheshouldfullyunderstandhismeaning。”Ifyouwouldconsent，Leonardshouldbealwayswithyou——educatedwhereandhowyouliked——moneytoanyamountyoumightchoosetonameshouldbesecuredtoyouandhim——ifonly，Ruth——ifonlythosehappydaysmightreturn。”，Ruthspoke——，“IsaidthatIwashappy，becauseIhadaskedGodtoprotectandhelpme——andIdarednottellalie。Iwashappy。Oh！whatishappinessormiserythatweshouldtalkaboutthemnow？”Mr。Donnelookedather，assheutteredthesewords，toseeifshewaswanderinginhermind，theyseemedtohimsoutterlystrangeandincoherent。”Idarenotthinkofhappiness——Imustnotlookforwardtosorrow。Goddidnotputmeheretoconsidereitherofthesethings。”，“MydearRuth，composeyourself！ThereisnohurryinansweringthequestionIasked。”，“Whatwasit？”saidRuth。”Iloveyouso，Icannotlivewithoutyou。Iofferyoumyheart，mylife——I offertoplaceLeonardwhereveryouwouldhavehimplaced。Ihavethepowerandthemeanstoadvancehiminanypathoflifeyouchoose。Allwhohaveshownkindnesstoyoushallberewardedbyme，withagratitudeevensurpassingyourown。IfthereisanythingelseIcandothatyoucansuggest，Iwilldoit。”，“Listentome！”saidRuth，nowthattheideaofwhatheproposedhadenteredhermind。“WhenIsaidthatIwashappywithyoulongago，IwaschokedwithshameasIsaidit。Andyetitmaybeavain，falseexcusethatI makeformyself。Iwasveryyoung;IdidnotknowhowsuchalifewasagainstGod’spureandholywill——atleast，notasIknowitnow;andItellyouthetruth——allthedaysofmyyearssinceIhavegoneaboutwithastainonmyhiddensoul——astainwhichmademeloathemyself，andenvythosewhostoodspotlessandundefiled;whichmademeshrinkfrommychild——fromMr。Benson，fromhissister，fromtheinnocentgirlswhomIteach——nay，evenIhavecoweredawayfromGodHimself;andwhatIdidwrongthen，I didblindlytowhatIshoulddonowifIlistenedtoyou。”，Shewassostronglyagitatedthatsheputherhandsoverherface，andsobbedwithoutrestraint。Then，takingthemaway，shelookedathimwithaglowingface，andbeautiful，honest，weteyes，andtriedtospeakcalmly，assheaskedifsheneededtostaylonger(shewouldhavegoneawayatoncebutthatshethoughtofLeonard，andwishedtohearallthathisfathermighthavetosay)。Hewassostruckanewbyherbeauty，andunderstoodhersolittle，thathebelievedthatsheonlyrequiredalittlemoreurgingtoconsenttowhathewished;forinallshehadsaidtherewasnotraceoftheangerandresentmentforhisdesertionofher，whichhehadexpectedwouldbeaprominentfeature——thegreatestobstaclehehadtoencounter。 Thedeepsenseofpenitencesheexpressedhemistookforearthlyshame; whichheimaginedhecouldsoonsootheaway。”Yes，Ihavemuchmoretosay。Ihavenotsaidhalf。IcannottellyouhowfondlyIwill——howfondlyIdoloveyou——howmylifeshallbespentinministeringtoyourwishes。Money，Isee——Iknow，youdespise——““Mr。Bellingham！Iwillnotstaytohearyouspeaktomeso’again。Ihavebeensinful，butitisnotyouwhoshould——“Shecouldnotspeak，shewassochokingwithpassionatesorrow。Hewantedtocalmher，ashesawhershakenwithrepressedsobs。Heputhishandonherarm。Sheshookitoffimpatiently，andmovedawayinaninstant。”Ruth！”saidhe，nettledbyheractionofrepugnance，“Ibegintothinkyouneverlovedme。”，“I！——Ineverlovedyou！Doyoudaretosayso？”Hereyesflamedonhimasshespoke。Herred，roundlipcurledintobeautifulcontempt。”Whydoyoushrinksofromme？”saidhe，inhisturngettingimpatient。”Ididnotcomeheretobespokentointhisway，“saidshe。“Icame，ifbyanychanceIcoulddoLeonardgood。Iwouldsubmittomanyhumiliationsforhissake——buttonomorefromyou。”，“Arenotyouafraidtobravemeso？”saidhe。“Don’tyouknowhowmuchyouareinmypower？”Shewassilent。Shelongedtogoaway，butdreadedlestheshouldfollowher，whereshemightbelesssubjecttointerruptionthanshewashere——nearthefisherman’snets，whichtherecedingtidewasleavingeverymomentbarerandmorebare，andthepoststheywerefastenedtomoreblacklyuprisingabovethewaters。Mr。Donneputhishandsonherarmsastheyhungdownbeforeher——herhandstightlyclaspedtogether。”Askmetoletyougo，“saidhe。“Iwill，ifyouwillaskme。Helookedveryfierceandpassionateanddetermined。ThevehemenceofhisactiontookRuthbysurprise，andthepainfultightnessofthegraspalmostmadeherexclaim。Butshewasquitestillandmute。”Askme，“saidhe，givingheralittleshake。Shedidnotspeak。Hereyes，fixedonthedistantshore，wereslowlyfillingwithtears。Suddenlyalightcamethroughthemistthatobscuredthem，andtheshutlipsparted。 Shesawsomedistantobjectthatgaveherhope。”ItisStephenBromley，“saidshe。“Heiscomingtohisnets。Theysayheisaverydesperate，violentman，buthewillprotectme。”，“Youobstinate，wilfulcreature！”saidMr。Donne，releasinghisgrasp。 “YouforgetthatonewordofminecouldundeceiveallthesegoodpeopleatEccleston;andthatifIspokeouteversolittle，theywouldthrowyouoffinaninstant。Now！”hecontinued，“doyouunderstandhowmuchyouareinmypower？”“Mr。andMissBensonknowall——theyhavenotthrownmeoff，“Ruthgaspedout。“Oh！forLeonard’ssake！youwouldnotbesocruel。”，“Thendonotbecrueltohim——tome。Thinkoncemore！”“Ithinkoncemore。”Shespokesolemnly。“TosaveLeonardfromtheshameandagonyofknowingmydisgraceIwouldlaydownanddie。Oh！perhapsitwouldbebestforhim——forme，ifImight;mydeathwouldbeastinglessgrief——buttogobackintosinwouldbetherealcrueltytohimTheerrorsofmyyouthmay，bewashedawaybymytears——itwassooncewhenthegentle，blessedChristwasuponearth;butnow，ifIwentintowilfulguilt，asyouwouldhaveme，howcouldIteachLeonardGod’sholywill？Ishouldnotmindhisknowingmypastsin，comparedtotheawfulcorruptionitwouldbeifheknewmelivingnow，asyouwouldhaveme，losttoallfearofGod——“Herspeechwasbrokenbysobs。“Whatevermaybemydoom——Godisjust——IleavemyselfinHishands。IwillsaveLeonardfromevil。EvilwoulditbeforhimifIlivedwithyou。Iwilllethimdiefirst！”Sheliftedhereyestoheaven，andclaspedandwreathedherhandstogethertight。Thenshesaid“Youhavehumbledmeenough，sir。Ishallleaveyounow。”，Sheturnedawayresolutely。Thedark，greyfishermanwasathand。Mr。Donnefoldedhisarmsandsethisteeth，and。lookedafterher。”Whatastatelystepshehas！Howmajesticandgracefulallherattitudeswere！Shethinksshehasbaffledmenow。Wewilltrysomethingmore，andbidahigherprice。”Heunfoldedhisarms，andbegantofollowher。Hegaineduponher，forherbeautifulwalkwasnowwaveringandunsteady。 Theworkswhichhadkeptherinmotionwererunningdownfast。”Ruth！”saidhe，overtakingher。“Youshallhearmeoncemore。Ay，lookround！Yourfishermanisnear。Hemayhearme，ifhechooses——hearyourtriumph。Iamcometo。offertomarryyou，Ruth;comewhatmay，Iwillhaveyou。Nay——Iwillmakeyouhearme。Iwillholdthishandtillyouhaveheardme。To-morrowIwillspeaktoanyoneinEcclestonyoulike——toMr。Bradshaw;Mr——，thelittleministerImean。Wecanmakeitworthwhileforhimtokeepoursecret，andnooneelseneedknowbutwhatyouarereallyMrs。Denbigh。Leonardshallstillbearthisname，butinallthingselseheshallbetreatedasmyson。Heandyouwouldgraceanysituation。 Iwilltakecarethehighestpathsareopentohim！”Helookedtoseethelovelyfacebrightenintosuddenjoy;onthecontrary，theheadwasstillhungdownwithaheavydroop。”Icannot，“saidshe;hervoicewasveryfaintandlow。”Itissuddenforyou，mydearest。Butbecalm。Itwillallbeeasilymanaged。 Leaveittome。”，“Icannot，“repeatedshe，moredistinctandclear，thoughstillverylow。”Why！whatonearthmakesyousaythat？”askedhe，inamoodtobeirritatedbyanyrepetitionofsuchwords。”Idonotloveyou。Ididonce。Don’tsayIdidnotloveyouthen！butIdonotnow。Icouldneverloveyouagain。AllyouhavesaidanddonesinceyoucamewithMr。BradshawtoAbermouthfirsthasonlymademewonderhowIevercouldhavelovedyou。Weareveryfarapart。Thetimethathaspresseddownmylifelikebrandsofhotiron，andscarredmeforever，hasbeennothingtoyou。Youhavetalkedofitwithnosoundofmoaninginyourvoice——noshadowoverthebrightnessofyourface;ithasleftnosenseofsinonyourconscience，whilemeithauntsandhaunts;andyetImightpleadthatIwasanignorantchild——onlyIwillnotpleadanything，forGodknowsall——Butthisisonlyonepieceofourgreatdifference——““YoumeanthatIamnosaint，“hesaid，impatientatherspeech。“Granted。 Butpeoplewhoarenosaintshavemadeverygoodhusbandsbeforenow。Come，don’tletanymorbid，overstrainedconscientiousnessinterferewithsubstantialhappiness——bothtoyouandtome——forIamsureIcanmakeyouhappy——ay！ andmakeyouloveme，too，inspiteofyourprettydefiance。Iloveyousodearly，Imustwinloveback。AndhereareadvantagesforLeonard，tobegainedbyyouquiteinaholyandlegitimateway。”，Shestoodveryerect。”Iftherewasonethingneededtoconfirmme，youhavenamedit。Youshallhavenothingtodowithmyboy，bymyconsent，muchlessbymyagency。 Iwouldratherseehimworkingontheroadsidethanleadingsuchalife——beingsuchaoneasyouare。Youhaveheardmymindnow，Mr。Bellingham。Youhavehumbledme——youhavebaitedme;andifatlastIhavespokenouttooharshly，andtoomuchinaspiritofjudgment，thefaultisyours。IftherewerenootherreasontopreventourmarriagebuttheonefactthatitwouldbringLeonardintocontactwithyou，thatwouldbeenough。”，“Itisenough！”saidhe，makingheralowbow。“Neitheryounoryourchildshallevermorebeannoyedbyme。Iwishyouagoodevening。”，Theywalkedapart——hebackto。theinn，tosetoffinstantly，whilethebloodwashotwithinhim，fromtheplacewherehehadbeensomortified——shetosteadyherselfalongtillshereachedthelittlepath，morelikearudestaircasethananythingelse，bywhichshehadtoclimbtothehouse。Shedidnotturnroundforsometimeaftershewasfairlylosttothesightofanyoneontheshore;sheclamberedon，almoststunnedbytherapidbeatingofherheart。Hereyeswerehotanddry;andatlastbecameasifsheweresuddenlyblind。Unabletogoon，shetotteredintothetangledunderwoodwhichgrewamongthestones，fillingeverynicheandcrevice，andlittleshelvingspace，withgreenanddelicatetracery。Shesankdownbehindagreatoverhangingrock，whichhidherfromanyonecomingupthepath。Anash-treewasrootedinthisrock，slantingawayfromthesea-breezesthatwereprevalentinmostweathers;butthiswasastill，autumnalSabbathevening。AsRuth’slimbsfell，sotheylay。Shehadnostrength，nopowerofvolitiontomoveafinger。Shecouldnotthinkorremember。Shewasliterallystunned。Thefirstsharpsensationwhichrousedherfromhertorporwasaquickdesiretoseehimoncemore;upshesprang，andclimbedtoanout-juttingdizzypointofrock，butalittleabovehershelterednook，yetcommandingawideviewoverthebare，nakedsands;——farawaybelow，touchingtheripplingwater-line，wasStephenBromley，busilygatheringinhisnets;besideshimtherewasnolivingcreaturevisible。Ruthshadedhereyes，asifshethoughttheymighthavedeceivedher;butno，therewasnoonethere。Shewentslowlydowntoheroldplace，cryingsadlyasshewent。”Oh！ifIhadnotspokensoangrilytohim——thelastthingsIsaidweresobitter——soreproachful！——andIshallnever，neverseehimagain！”Shecouldnottakeinageneralviewandscopeoftheirconversation——theeventwastoonearherforthat;butherheartfeltsoreattheechoofherlastwords，justandtrueastheirseveritywas。Herstruggle，herconstantflowingtears，whichfellfromveryweakness，madeherexperienceasensationofintensebodilyfatigue;andhersoulhadlostthepowerofthrowingitselfforward，orcontemplatinganythingbeyondthedrearypresent，whentheexpanseofgrey，wild，bleakmoors，stretchingwideawaybelowasunlesssky，seemedonlyanoutwardsignofthewasteworldwithinherheart，forwhichshecouldclaimnosympathy;-forshecouldnotevendefinewhatitswoeswere;and，ifshecould，noonewouldunderstandhowthepresenttimewashauntedbytheterribleghostoftheformerlove。”Iamsoweary！Iamsoweary！”shemoanedaloudatlast。“IwonderifImightstophere，andjustdieaway。”，Sheshuthereyes，untilthroughtheclosedlidscamearuddyblazeoflight。Thecloudsbadpartedaway，andthesunwasgoingdowninthecrimsonglorybehindthedistantpurplehills。Thewholewesternskywasoneflameoffire。Ruthforgotherselfinlookingatthegorgeoussight。Shesatupgazing;and，asshegazed，thetearsdriedonhercheeks，and，somehow，allhumancareandsorrowwereswallowedupintheunconscioussenseofGod’sinfinity。Thesunsetcalmedhermorethananywords，howeverwiseandtender，couldhavedone。Itevenseemedtogiveherstrengthandcourage; shedidnotknowhoworwhy，butsoitwas。Sherose，andwentslowlytowardshome。Herlimbswereverystiff，andeverynowandthenshehadtochokedownanunbiddensob。Herpupilshadbeenlongreturnedfromchurch，andhadbusiedthemselvesinpreparingtea——anoccupationwhichhadprobablymadethemfeelthetimelesslong。Iftheyhadeverseenasleep-walker，theymighthavelikenedRuthtooneforthenextfewdays，soslowandmeasureddidhermovementsseem——sofarawaywasherintelligencefromallthatwaspassingaroundher——sohushedandstrangewerethetonesofhervoice。Theyhadlettersfromhome，announcingthetriumphantreturnofMr。DonneasM。P。forEccleston。Mrs。 Denbighheardthenewswithoutaword，andwastoolanguidtojoininthesearchafterpurpleandyellowflowerswithwhichtodeckthesitting-roomatEagle’sCrag。AletterfromJemimacamethenextday，summoningthemhome。Mr。Donneandhisfriendshadlefttheplace，andquietwasrestoredintheBradshawhousehold;soitwastimethatMaryandElizabeth’sholidayshouldcease。 Mrs。Denbighhadalsoaletter——aletterfromMissBenson，sayingthatLeonardwasnotquitewell。Therewassomuchpainstakentodisguiseanxiety，thatitwasveryevidentmuchanxietywasfelt;andthegirlswerealmostalarmedbyRuth’ssuddenchangefromtaciturnlanguortoeager，vehementenergy。Bodyandmindseemedstrainedtoexertion。EveryplanthatcouldfacilitatepackingandwindingupaffairsatAbermouth，everyerrandandarrangementthatcouldexpeditetheirdeparturebyoneminute，wasdonebyRuthwithsternpromptitude。Shesparedherselfinnothing。Shemadethemrest，madethemliedown，whilesheherselfliftedweightsandtransactedbusinesswithfeverishpower，neverresting，andtryingnevertohavetimetothink。ForinremembranceofthePasttherewasRemorse——howhadsheforgottenLeonardtheselastfewdays！——howhadsherepinedandbeendullofhearttoherblessing！Andinanticipationofthefuturetherewasonesharppointofredlightinthedarknesswhichpiercedherbrainwithagony，andwhichshewouldnotseeorrecognise——andsawandrecognisedallthemoreforsuchmaddetermination——whichisnotthetrueshieldagainstthebitternessofthearrowsofdeath。WhentheseasidepartyarrivedinEccleston，theyweremetbyMrs。andMissBradshawandMr。Benson。Byafirmresolution，Ruthkeptfromshapingthequestion，“Ishealive？”asifbygivingshapetoherfearsshemadetheirrealisationmoreimminent。Shesaidmerely，“Howishe？”butshesaiditwithdrawn，tight，bloodlesslips，andinhereyesMr。Bensonreadheranguishofanxiety。”Heisveryill，butwehopehewillsoonbebetter。Itiswhateverychildhastogothrough。” chapter25，CHAPTERXXV，JEMIMAMAKESADISCOVERY，Mr。Bradshawhadbeensuccessfulincarryinghispoint。Hismemberhadbeenreturned;hisproudopponentsmortified。Sothepublicthoughtheoughttobewellpleased;butthepublicweredisappointedtoseethathedidnotshowanyofthegratificationtheysupposedhimtofeel。Thetruthwas，thathemetwithsomanysmallmortificationsduringtheprogressoftheelection，thatthepleasurewhichhewouldotherwisehavefeltinthefinalsuccessofhisschemewasmuchdiminished。Hehadmorethantacitlysanctionedbribery;andnowthattheexcitementwasover，heregrettedit：notentirelyfromconscientiousmotives，thoughhewasuneasyfromtheslightsenseofwrong-doing;buthewasmorepained，afterall，tothinkthat，intheeyesofsomeofhistownsmen，hishithertospotlesscharacterhadreceivedablemish。He，whohadbeensosternandsevereacensorontheundueinfluenceexercisedbytheoppositepartyinallprecedingelections，couldnotexpecttobesparedbytheiradherentsnow，whentherewererumoursthatthehandsofthescrupulousDissenterswerenotclean。Before，ithadbeenhisbeastthatneitherfriendnorenemycouldsayonewordagainsthim;now，hewasconstantlyafraidofanindictmentforbribery，andofbeingcompelledtoappearbeforeacommitteetosweartohisownshareinthebusiness。Hisuneasy，fearfulconsciousnessmadehimstricterandsternerthanever; asifhewouldquenchallwondering，slanderoustalkabouthiminthetownbyarenewedausterityofuprightness：thattheslack-principledMr。BradshawofonemonthoffermentandexcitementmightnotbeconfoundedwiththehighlyconscientiousanddeeplyreligiousMr。Bradshaw，whowenttochapeltwiceaday，andgaveahundredpoundsapiecetoeverycharityinthetown，asasortofthank-offeringthathisendwasgained。ButhewassecretlydissatisfiedwithMr。Donne。Ingeneral，thatgentlemanhadbeenrathertoowillingtoactinaccordancewithanyone’sadvice，nomatterwhose;as，ifhehadthoughtittoomuchtroubletoweighthewisdomofhisfriends，inwhichcaseMr。Bradshaw’swouldhave，doubtless，provedthemostvaluable。Butnowandthenheunexpectedly，andutterlywithoutreason，tooktheconductofaffairsintohisownhands，aswhenhehadbeenabsentwithoutleaveonlyjustbeforethedayofnomination。 Nooneguessedwhitherhehadgone;butthefactofhisbeinggonewasenoughtochagrinMr。Bradshaw，whowasquitereadytohavepickedaquarrelonthisveryheadiftheelectionhadnotterminatedfavourably。Asitwas，hehadafeelingofproprietorshipinMr。Donnewhichwasnotdisagreeable。 HehadgiventhenewM。P。hisseat;hisresolution;hispromptitude，hisenergy，hadmadeMr。Donne“ourmember;“andMr。Bradshawbegantofeelproudofhimaccordingly。ButtherehadbeennoonecircumstanceduringthisperiodtobindJemimaandMr。Farquhartogether。Theywerestillmisunderstandingeachotherwithalltheirpower。ThedifferenceintheresultwasthisJemimalovedhimallthemore，inspiteofquarrelsandcoolness。Hewasgrowingutterlywearyofthepetulanttemperofwhichhewasnevercertain; ofthereceptionwhichvarieddayafterday，accordingtothemoodshewasinandthethoughtsthatwereuppermost;andhewasalmoststartledtofindhowverygladhewasthatthelittlegirlsandMrs。Denbighwerecominghome。Hiswasacharactertobaskinpeace;andlovely，quietRuth，withherlowtonesandsoftreplies，herdelicatewavingmovements，appearedtohimtheverytypeofwhatawomanshouldbe——acalm，serenesoul，fashioningthebodytoangelicgrace。Itwas，therefore，withnoslightinterestthatMr。FarquharinquireddailyafterthehealthoflittleLeonard。HeaskedattheBensons’house;andSallyansweredhim，withswollenandtearfuleyes，thatthechildwasverybad——verybadindeed。Heaskedatthedoctor’s;andthedoctortoldhim，inafewshortwords，that“itwasonlyabadkindofmeaslesandthattheladmighthaveastruggleforit，buthethoughthewouldgetthrough。 Vigorouschildrencarriedtheirforceintoeverything;neverdidthingsbyhalves;iftheywereill，theyweresuretobeinahighfeverdirectly; iftheywerewell，therewasnopeaceinthehousefortheirrioting。Forhispart，“continuedthedoctor，“hethoughthewasgladhehadhadnochildren;asfarashecouldjudge，theywereprettymuchallplagueandnoprofit。”Butasheendedhisspeechhesighed;andMr。Farquharwasnonethelessconvincedthatcommonreportwastrue，whichrepresentedtheclever，prosperoussurgeonofEcclestonasbitterlydisappointedathisfailureofoffspring。WhilethesevariousinterestsandfeelingshadtheircourseoutsidetheChapel-house，withintherewasbutonethoughtwhichpossessedalltheinmates。WhenSallywasnotcookingforthelittleinvalid，shewascrying; forshehadhadadreamaboutgreenrushes，notthreemonthsago，which，bysomequeerprocessofoneiromancy，sheinterpretedtomeanthedeathofachild;andallMissBenson’sendeavoursweredirectedtomakingherkeepsilencetoRuthaboutthisdream。Sallythoughtthatthemotheroughttobetold。Whatweredreamssentforbutforwarnings？ButitwasjustlikeapackofDissenters，whowouldnotbelieveanythinglikeotherfolks。 MissBensonwastoomuchaccustomedtoSally’scontemptforDissenters，asviewedfromthepinnacleoftheEstablishment，topaymuchattentiontoallthisgrumbling;especiallyasSallywaswillingtotakeasmuchtroubleaboutLeonardasifshebelievedhewasgoingtolive，andthathisrecoverydependeduponhercare。MissBenson’sgreatobjectwastokeepherfromhavinganyconfidentialtalkswithRuth;asifanyrepetitionofthedreamcouldhavedeepenedtheconvictioninRuth’smindthatthechildwoulddie。Itseemedtoherthathisdeathwouldonlybethefittingpunishmentforthestateofindifferencetowardshim——towardslifeanddeath——towardsallthingsearthlyordivine，intowhichshehadsufferedherselftofallsinceherlastinterviewwithMr。Donne。Shedidnotunderstandthatsuchexhaustionisbutthenaturalconsequenceofviolentagitationandseveretensionoffeeling。TheonlyreliefsheexperiencedwasinconstantlyservingLeonard;shehadalmostananimal’sjealousylestanyoneshouldcomebetweenherandheryoung。Mr。Bensonsawthisjealoussuspicion，althoughhecouldhardlyunderstandit;buthecalmedhissister’swonderandofficiouskindness，sothatthetwopatientlyandquietlyprovidedallthatRuthmightwant，butdidnotinterferewithherrighttonurseLeonard。Butwhenhewasrecovering，Mr。Benson，withtheslighttoneofauthorityheknewhowtoassumewhenneedwas，badeRuthliedownandtakesomerest，whilehissisterwatched。Ruthdidnotanswer，butobeyedinadull，wearykindofsurpriseatbeingsocommanded。Shelaydownbyherchild，gazingherfillathiscalmslumber;and，asshegazed，herlargewhiteeyelidsweresoftlypresseddownaswithagentle，irresistibleweight，andshefellasleep。Shedreamedthatshewasoncemoreonthelonelyshore，strivingtocarryawayLeonardfromsomepursuer——somehumanpursuer——sheknewhewashuman，andsheknewwhohewas，althoughshedarednotsayhisnameeventoherself，heseemedsocloseandpresent，gainingonherflyingfootsteps，rushingafterheraswiththesoundoftheroaringtide。Herfeetseemedheavyweightsfixedtotheground;theywouldnotmove。Allatonce，justneartheshore，agreatblackwhirlwindofwavesclutchedherbacktoherpursuer; shethrewLeonardontoland，whichwassafety;butwhetherhereacheditorno，orwassweptbacklikeherintoamysterioussomethingtoodreadfultoheborne，shedidnotknow，fortheterrorawakenedher。Atfirstthedreamseemedyetareality，andshethoughtthatthepursuerwascouchedeventhere，inthatveryroom，andthegreatboomoftheseawasstillinherears。Butasfullconsciousnessreturned，shesawherselfsafeinthedearoldroom——thehavenofrest——theshelterfromstorms。Abrightfirewasglowinginthelittleold-fashioned，cup-shapedgrate，nichedintoacornerofthewall，andguardedoneithersidebywhitewashedbricks，whichservedforbobs。Ononeofthesethekettlehummedandbuzzed，withintwopointsofboilingwheneversheorLeonardrequiredtea。Inherdreamthathome-likesoundhadbeentheroaroftherelentlesssea，creepingswiftlyontoseizeitsprey。MissBensonsatbythefire，motionlessandstill;itwastoodarktoreadanylongerwithoutacandle;butyetontheceilingandupperpartofthewallsthegoldenlightofthesettingsunwasslowlymoving——soslow，andyetamotiongivesthefeelingofresttothewearyyetmorethanperfectstillness。Theoldclockonthestaircasetolditsmonotonousclick-clack，inthatsoothingwaywhichmoremarkedthequietofthehousethandisturbedwithanysenseofsound。Leonardstillsleptthatrenovatingslumber，almostinherarms，farfromthatfatalpursuingsea，withitshumanformofcruelty。Thedreamwasavision; therealitywhichpromptedthedreamwasoverandpast——Leonardwassafe——shewassafe;allthisloosenedthefrozensprings，andtheygushedforthinherheart，andherlipsmovedinaccordancewithherthoughts。”Whatwereyousaying，mydarling？”saidMissBenson，whocaughtsightofthemotion，andfanciedshewasaskingforsomething。MissBensonbentoverthesideofthebedonwhichRuthlay，tocatchthelowtonesofhervoice。”Ionlysaid，“repliedRuthtimidly，“thankGod！IhavesomuchtothankHimforyoudon’tknow。”，“Mydear，Iamsurewehaveallofuscausetobethankfulthatourboyisspared。See！heiswakeningup;andwewillhaveacupofteatogether。Leonardstrodeontoperfecthealth;buthewasmadeolderincharacterandlooksbyhissevereillness。Hegrewtallandthin，andthelovelychildwaslostinthehandsomeboy。Hebegantowonderandtoquestion。 Ruthmournedalittleoverthevanishedbabyhood，whenshewasallinall，andoverthechildhood，whosepetalshadfallenaway;itseemedasthoughtwoofherchildrenweregone——theoneaninfant，theotherabright，thoughtlessdarling;andshewishedthattheycouldhaveremainedquickinhermemoryforever，insteadofbeingabsorbedinlovingprideforthepresentboy。 Butthesewereonlyfancifulregrets，flittinglikeshadowsacrossamirror。 Peaceandthankfulnesswereoncemoretheatmosphereofhermind;norwasherunconsciousnessdisturbedbyanysuspicionofMr。Farquhar’sincreasingapprobationandadmiration，whichhewasdiligentlynursingupintoloveforher。Sheknewthathehadsent——shedidnotknowhowoftenhehadbrought——fruitfortheconvalescentLeonard。Sheheard，onherreturnfromherdailyemployment，thatMr。FarquharhadboughtalittlegentleponyonwhichLeonard，weakashewas，mightride。Toconfessthetruth，hermaternalpridewassuchthatshethoughtthatallkindnessshowntosuchaboyasLeonardwasbutnatural;shebelievedhimtobe，“Achildwhomallthatlockedon，loved。”，Asintruthhewas;andtheproofofthiswasdailyshowninmanykindinquiries，andmanythoughtfullittleofferings，besidesMr。Farquhar’s。 Thepoor(warmandkindofhearttoallsorrowcommontohumanity)weretouchedwithpityfortheyoungwidow，whoseonlychildlayill，andnighuntodeath。Theybroughtwhattheycould——afreshegg，wheneggswerescarce——afewripepearsthatgrewonthesunniestsideofthehumblestcottage，wherethefruitwasregardedasasourceofincome——acallofinquiry，andaprayerthatGodwouldsparethechild，fromanoldcrippledwoman，whocouldscarcelydragherselfsofarastheChapel-house，yetfeltherwornandwearyheartstirredwithasharppangofsympathy，andaverypresentremembranceofthetimewhenshetoowasyoung，andsawthelife-breathquiveroutofherchild，nowanangelinthatheavenwhichfeltmorelikehometothedesolateoldcreaturethanthisemptyearth。Toallsuch，whenLeonardwasbetter，Ruthwent，andthankedthemfromherheart。Sheandtheoldcripplesathandinhandoverthescantyfireonthehearthofthelatter，whileshetoldinsolemn，broken，homelywords，howherchildsickenedanddied。TearsfelllikeraindownRuth’scheeks;butthoseoftheoldwomanweredry。Alltearshadbeenweptoutofherlongago，andnowshesatpatientandquiet，waitingfordeath。ButafterthisRuth“claveuntoher，“andthetwowerehenceforwardapairoffriends。Mr。Farquharwasonlyincludedinthegeneralgratitudewhichshefelttowardsallwhohadbeenkindtoherboy。Thewinterpassedawayindeeppeaceafterthestormsoftheautumn，yeteverynowandthenafeelingofinsecuritymadeRuthshakeforaninstant。 Thosewildautumnalstormshadtornasidethequietflowersandherbagethathadgatheredoverthewreckofherearlylife，andshownherthatalldeeds，howeverhiddenandlongpassedby，havetheireternalconsequences。 SheturnedsickandfaintwheneverMr。Donne’snamewascasuallymentioned。 Noonesawit;butshefeltthemiserablestopinherheart’sbeating，andwishedthatshecouldpreventitbyanyexerciseofself-command。ShehadnevernamedhisidentitywithMr。Bellingham，norhadshespokenabouttheseasideinterview。DeepshamemadehersilentandreservedonallherlifebeforeLeonard’sbirth;fromthattimesheroseagaininherself-respect，andspokeasopenlyasachild(whenneedwas)ofalloccurrenceswhichhadtakenplacesincethen;exceptthatshecouldnot，andwouldnot，tellofthismockingecho，thishauntingphantom，thispast，thatwouldnotrestinitsgrave。Theverycircumstancethatitwasstalkingabroadintheworld，andmightreappearatanymoment，madeheracoward：shetrembledawayfromcontemplatingwhattherealityhadbeen;only，sheclungmorefaithfullythanbeforetothethoughtofthegreatGod，whowasarockinthedrearyland，wherenoshadowwas。Autumnandwinter，withtheirloweringskies，werelessdrearythanthewoeful，desolatefeelingsthatshedagloomonJemima。ShefoundtoolatethatshehadconsideredMr。Farquharsosecurelyherownforsolongatime，thatherheartrefusedtorecognizehimaslosttoher，unlessherreasonwentthroughthesameweary，convincing，miserableevidencedayafterday，andhourafterhour。Heneverspoketohernow，exceptfromcommoncivility。Henevercaredforhercontradictions;henevertried，withpatientperseverance，tobringherovertohisopinions;heneverusedthewontedwiles(sotenderlyrememberednowtheyhadnoexistencebutinmemory)tobringherroundoutofsomewilfulmood——andsuchmoodswerecommonenoughnow！Frequentlyshewassullenlyindifferenttothefeelingsofothers——notfromanyunkindness，butbecauseherheartseemednumbandstony，andincapableofsympathy。Thenafterwardsherself-reproachwasterrible——inthedeadofnightwhennoonesawit。Withastrangeperversity，theonlyintelligenceshecaredtohear，theonlysightsshecaredtosee，werethecircumstanceswhichgaveconfirmationtotheideathatMr。FarquharwasthinkingofRuthforawife。Shecravedwithstingingcuriositytohearsomethingoftheiraffairseveryday;partlybecausethetorturewhichsuchintelligencegavewasalmostarelieffromthedeadnessofherhearttoallotherinterests。Andsospring(gioventudell’anno)camebacktoher，bringingallthecontrastswhichspringalonecanbringtoaddtotheheavinessofthesoul。Thelittlewingedcreaturesfilledtheairwithburstsofjoy;thevegetationcamebrightandhopefullyonwards，withoutanycheckofnippingfrost。Theash-treesintheBradshaws’gardenwereoutinleafbythemiddleofMay，whichthatyearworemoretheaspectofsummerthanmostJunesdo。ThesunnyweathermockedJemima，andtheunusualwarmthoppressedherphysicalpowers。Shefeltveryweakandlanguid;shewasacutelysensiblethatnooneelsenoticedherwantofstrength;father，mother，allseemedtoofullofotherthingstocare，if，asshebelieved，herlifewaswaning。