“IrepresentthefirmofSonetandCompany,monumentalstone-masons;
SirWalterScottwouldhavedubbedme/YoungMortality/,“continuedthisperson。“Ifyou,sir,shoulddecidetointrustyourorderstous,wewouldspareyouthetroubleofthejourneytopurchasethegroundnecessaryfortheintermentofafriendlosttothearts——“
AtthisRemonencqnoddedassent,andjoggedSchmucke\'selbow。
“Everydaywereceiveordersfromfamiliestoarrangeallformalities,“continuedheoftheblackcoat,thusencouragedbyRemonencq。“Inthefirstmomentofbereavement,theheir-at-lawfindsitverydifficulttoattendtosuchmatters,andweareaccustomedtoperformtheselittleservicesforourclients。Ourcharges,sir,areonafixedscale,somuchperfoot,freestoneormarble。Familyvaultsaspecialty——Weundertakeeverythingatthemostmoderateprices。OurfirmexecutedthemagnificentmonumenterectedtothefairEstherGobseckandLuciendeRubempre,oneofthefinestornamentsofPere-
Lachaise。Weonlyemploythebestworkmen,andImustwarnyou,sir,againstsmallcontractors——whoturnoutnothingbuttrash,“headded,seeingthatanotherpersoninablacksuitwascominguptosayawordforanotherfirmofmarble-workers。
Itisoftensaidthat“deathistheendofajourney,“buttheaptnessofthesimileisrealizedmostfullyinParis。Anyarrival,especiallyofapersonofcondition,uponthe“darkbrink,“ishailedinmuchthesamewayasthetravelerrecentlylandedishailedbyhoteltoutsandpesteredwiththeirrecommendations。Withtheexceptionofafewphilosophically-mindedpersons,orhereandthereafamilysecureofhandingdownanametoposterity,nobodythinksbeforehandofthepracticalaspectsofdeath。Deathalwayscomesbeforeheisexpected;
and,fromasentimenteasytounderstand,theheirsusuallyactasiftheeventwereimpossible。Forwhichreason,almosteveryonethatlosesfatherormother,wifeorchild,isimmediatelybesetbyscoutsthatprofitbytheconfusioncausedbygrieftosnareothers。Informerdays,agentsformonumentsusedtoliveroundaboutthefamouscemeteryofPere-Lachaise,andweregatheredtogetherinasinglethoroughfare,whichshouldbyrightshavebeencalledtheStreetofTombs;issuingthence,theyfellupontherelativesofthedeadastheycamefromthecemetery,orevenatthegrave-side。Butcompetitionandthespiritofspeculationinducedthemtospreadthemselvesfurtherandfurtherafield,tilldescendingintoParisitselftheyreachedtheveryprecinctsofthemayor\'soffice。Indeed,thestone-mason\'sagenthasoftenbeenknowntoinvadethehouseofmourningwithadesignforthesepulchreinhishand。
“Iamintreatywiththisgentleman,“saidtherepresentativeofthefirmofSonettoanotheragentwhocameup。
“Ponsdeceased!……“calledtheclerkatthismoment。“Wherearethewitnesses？”
“Thisway,sir,“saidthestone-mason\'sagent,thistimeaddressingRemonencq。
Schmuckestayedwherehehadbeenplacedonthebench,aninertmass。
Remonencqbeggedtheagenttohelphim,andtogethertheypulledSchmucketowardsthebalustrade,behindwhichtheregistrarsheltershimselffromthemourningpublic。Remonencq,Schmucke\'sProvidence,wasassistedbyDr。Poulain,whofilledinthenecessaryinformationastoPons\'ageandbirthplace;theGermanknewbutonething——thatPonswashisfriend。Sosoonasthesignatureswereaffixed,Remonencqandthedoctor(followedbythestone-mason\'sman),putSchmuckeintoacab,thedesperateagentwhiskinginafterwards,bentupontakingadefiniteorder。
LaSauvage,onthelookoutinthegateway,half-carriedSchmucke\'salmostunconsciousformupstairs。Remonencqandtheagentwentupwithher。
“Hewillbeill！”exclaimedtheagent,anxioustomakeanendofthepieceofbusinesswhich,accordingtohim,wasinprogress。
“Ishouldthinkhewill！”returnedMme。Sauvage。“Hehasbeencryingfortwenty-fourhoursonend,andhewouldnottakeanything。Thereisnothinglikegriefforgivingoneasinkinginthestomach。“
“Mydearclient,“urgedtherepresentativeofthefirmofSonet,“dotakesomebroth。Youhavesomuchtodo;someonemustgototheHoteldeVilletobuythegroundinthecemeteryonwhichyoumeantoerectamonumenttoperpetuatethememoryofthefriendofthearts,andbearrecordtoyourgratitude。“
“Why,thereisnosenseinthis！”addedMme。Cantinet,cominginwithbrothandbread。
“Ifyouareasweakasthis,yououghttothinkoffindingsomeonetoactforyou,“addedRemonencq,“foryouhaveagooddealonyourhands,mydearsir。Thereisthefuneraltoorder。Youwouldnothaveyourfriendburiedlikeapauper！”
“Come,come,mydearsir,“putinLaSauvage,seizingamomentwhenSchmuckelaidhisheadbackinthegreatchairtopouraspoonfulofsoupintohismouth。Shefedhimasifhehadbeenachild,andalmostinspiteofhimself。
“Now,ifyouwerewise,sir,sinceyouareinclinedtogiveyourselfupquietlytogrief,youwouldfindsomeonetoactforyou——“
“Asyouarethinkingofraisingamagnificentmonumenttothememoryofyourfriend,sir,youhaveonlytoleaveitalltome;Iwillundertake——“
“Whatisallthis?Whatisallthis？”askedLaSauvage。“HasM。
Schmuckeorderedsomething?Whomayyoube？”
“IrepresentthefirmofSonet,mydearmadame,thebiggestmonumentalstone-masonsinParis,“saidthepersoninblack,handingabusiness-
cardtothestalwartSauvage。
“Verywell,thatwilldo。Someonewillgowithyouwhenthetimecomes;butyoumustnottakeadvantageofthegentleman\'sconditionnow。Youcanquiteseethatheisnothimself——“
Theagentledheroutuponthelanding。
“Ifyouwillundertaketogettheorderforus,“hesaidconfidentially,“Iamempoweredtoofferyoufortyfrancs。“
Mme。Sauvagegrewplacable。“Verywell,letmehaveyouraddress,“
saidshe。
Schmuckemeantimebeinglefttohimself,andfeelingthestrongerforthesoupandbreadthathehadbeenforcedtoswallow,returnedatoncetoPons\'rooms,andtohisprayers。Hehadlosthimselfinthefathomlessdepthsofsorrow,whenavoicesoundinginhisearsdrewhimbackfromtheabyssofgrief,andayoungmaninasuitofblackreturnedfortheeleventhtimetothecharge,pullingthepoor,torturedvictim\'scoatsleeveuntilhelistened。
“Sir！”saidhe。
“Vateesitnow？”
“Sir!weoweasupremediscoverytoDr。Gannal;wedonotdisputehisfame;hehasworkedmiraclesofEgyptafresh;buttherehavebeenimprovementsmadeuponhissystem。Wehaveobtainedsurprisingresults。So,ifyouwouldliketoseeyourfriendagain,ashewaswhenhewasalive——“
“Seehimagain！”criedSchmucke。“Shallhespeaktome？”
“Notexactly。Speechistheonlythingwanting,“continuedtheembalmer\'sagent。“Buthewillremainasheisafterembalmingforalleternity。Theoperationisoverinafewseconds。Justanincisioninthecarotidarteryandaninjection——Butitishightime;ifyouwaitonesinglequarterofanhour,sir,youwillnothavethesweetsatisfactionofpreservingthebody……“
“Gotoderteufel!……Bonsiseinspirit——unddatspiritisinhefn。“
“Thatmanhasnogratitudeinhiscomposition,“remarkedtheyouthfulagentofoneofthefamousGannal\'srivals;“hewillnotembalmhisfriend。“
Thewordswerespokenunderthearchway,andaddressedtoLaCibot,whohadjustsubmittedherbelovedtotheprocess。
“Whatwouldyouhave,sir！”shesaid。“Heistheheir,theuniversallegatee。Assoonastheygetwhattheywant,thedeadarenothingtothem。“
Anhourlater,SchmuckesawMme。Sauvagecomeintotheroom,followedbyanothermaninasuitofblack,aworkman,toallappearance。
“Cantinethasbeensoobligingastosendthisgentleman,sir,“shesaid;“heiscoffin-makertotheparish。“
Thecoffin-makermadehisbowwithasympatheticandcompassionateair,butnonethelesshehadabusiness-likelook,andseemedtoknowthathewasindispensable。Heturnedanexpert\'seyeuponthedead。
“Howdoesthegentlemanwish\'it\'tobemade?Deal,plainoak,oroaklead-lined?Oakwithaleadliningisthebeststyle。Thebodyisastocksize,“——hefeltforthefeet,andproceededtotakethemeasure——“onemetreseventy！”headded。“Youwillbethinkingoforderingthefuneralserviceatthechurch,sir,nodoubt？”
Schmuckelookedathimasadangerousmadmanmightlookbeforestrikingablow。LaSauvageputinaword。
“Yououghttofindsomebodytolookafterallthesethings,“shesaid。
“Yes——“thevictimmurmuredatlength。
“ShallIfetchM。Tabareau?——foryouwillhaveagooddealonyourhandsbeforelong。M。Tabareauisthemosthonestmaninthequarter,yousee。“
“Yes。MennesirDapareau!Somepodyvasspeakingofhimchustnow——“
saidSchmucke,completelybeaten。
“Verywell。Youcanbequiet,sir,andgiveyourselfuptogrief,whenyouhaveseenyourdeputy。“
Itwasnearlytwoo\'clockwhenM。Tabareau\'shead-clerk,ayoungmanwhoaimedatabailiff\'scareer,modestlypresentedhimself。Youthhaswonderfulprivileges;nooneisalarmedbyyouth。ThisyoungmanVillemotbyname,satdownbySchmucke\'ssideandwaitedhisopportunitytospeak。HisdiffidencetouchedSchmuckeverymuch。
“IamM。Tabareau\'shead-clerk,sir,“hesaid;“hesentmeheretotakechargeofyourinterests,andtosuperintendthefuneralarrangements。Isthisyourwish？”
“Youcannotsafemylife,Ihafnotlongtolif;butyouvillleafmeinbeace！”
“Oh!youshallnotbedisturbed,“saidVillemot。
“Ver\'goot。VatmustIdofordat？”
“SignthispaperappointingM。Tabareautoactforyouinallmattersrelatingtothesettlementoftheaffairsofthedeceased。“
“Goot!gifittome,“saidSchmucke,anxiousonlytosignitatonce。
“No,Imustreaditovertoyoufirst。“
“Readitofer。“
Schmuckepaidnottheslightestattentiontothereadingofthepowerofattorney,buthesethisnametoit。TheyoungclerktookSchmucke\'sordersforthefuneral,theinterment,andtheburialservice;undertakingthatheshouldnotbetroubledagaininanyway,noraskedformoney。
“IvouldgifalldatIhaftobeleftinbeace,“saidtheunhappyman。
Andoncemorehekneltbesidethedeadbodyofhisfriend。
Fraisierhadtriumphed。VillemotandLaSauvagecompletedthecirclewhichhehadtracedaboutPons\'heir。
Thereisnosorrowthatsleepcannotovercome。TowardstheendofthedayLaSauvage,comingin,foundSchmuckestretchedasleepatthebed-
foot。Shecarriedhimoff,puthimtobed,tuckedhiminmaternally,andtillthemorningSchmuckeslept。
Whenheawoke,orratherwhenthetrucewasoverandheagainbecameconsciousofhissorrows,Pons\'coffinlayunderthegatewayinsuchastateasathird-classfuneralmayclaim,andSchmucke,seekingvainlyforhisfriend,wanderedfromroomtoroom,acrossvastspaces,asitseemedtohim,emptyofeverythingsavehideousmemories。LaSauvagetookhiminhand,muchasanursemanagesachild;shemadehimtakehisbreakfastbeforestartingforthechurch;andwhilethepoorsuffererforcedhimselftoeat,shediscovered,withlamentationsworthyofJeremiah,thathehadnotablackcoatinhispossession。LaCibottookentirechargeofhiswardrobe;sincePonsfellill,hisapparel,likehisdinner,hadbeenreducedtothelowestterms——toacoupleofcoatsandtwopairsoftrousers。
“AndyouaregoingjustasyouaretoM。Pons\'funeral?Itisanunheard-ofthing;thewholequarterwillcryshameuponus！”
“UndhowvillyoudatIgo？”
“Why,inmourning——“
“Mourning！”
“Itistheproperthing。“
“Derbropperding!……Confoundalldisstupidnonsense！”criedpoorSchmucke,driventothelastdegreeofexasperationwhichachildlikesoulcanreachunderstressofsorrow。
“Why,themanisamonsterofingratitude！”saidLaSauvage,turningtoapersonagewhojustthenappeared。AtthesightofthisfunctionarySchmuckeshuddered。Thenewcomerworeasplendidsuitofblack,blackknee-breeches,blacksilkstockings,apairofwhitecuffs,anextremelycorrectwhitemuslintie,andwhitegloves。A
silverchainwithacoinattachedornamentedhisperson。Atypicalofficial,stampedwiththeofficialexpressionofdecorousgloom,anebonywandinhishandbywayofinsigniaofoffice,hestoodwaitingwithathree-corneredhatadornedwiththetricolorcockadeunderhisarm。
“Iamthemasteroftheceremonies,“thispersonremarkedinasubduedvoice。
Accustomeddailytosuperintendfunerals,tomoveamongfamiliesplungedinoneandthesamekindoftribulation,realorfeigned,thisman,liketherestofhisfraternity,spokeinhushedandsoothingtones;hewasdecorous,polished,andformal,likeanallegoricalstonefigureofDeath。
Schmuckequiveredthrougheverynerveasifhewereconfrontinghisexecutioner。
“Isthisgentlemantheson,brother,orfatherofthedeceased？”
inquiredtheofficial。
“Iamalldatandmorepesides——Iamhisfriend,“saidSchmuckethroughatorrentofweeping。
“Areyouhisheir？”
“Heir?……“repeatedSchmucke。“Nodingmatterstomemoreindisvorld,“returningtohisattitudeofhopelesssorrow。
“Wherearetherelatives,thefriends？”askedthemasteroftheceremonies。
“Allhere！”exclaimedtheGerman,indicatingthepicturesandrarities。“NotvonofdemhafefergifnbaintomeinboorBons……
Hereeeseverydingsdothelofed,afterme。“
Schmuckehadtakenhisseatagain,andlookedasvacantasbefore;hedriedhiseyesmechanically。Villemotcameupatthatmoment;hehadorderedthefuneral,andthemasteroftheceremonies,recognizinghim,madeanappealtothenewcomer。
“Well,sir,itistimetostart。Thehearseishere;butIhavenotoftenseensuchafuneralasthis。Wherearetherelativesandfriends？”
“Wehavebeenpressedfortime,“repliedVillemot。“Thisgentlemanwasinsuchdeepgriefthathecouldthinkofnothing。Andthereisonlyonerelative。“
ThemasteroftheceremonieslookedcompassionatelyatSchmucke;thisexpertinsorrowknewrealgriefwhenhesawit。Hewentacrosstohim。
“Come,takeheart,mydearsir。Thinkofpayinghonortoyourfriend\'smemory。“
“Weforgottosendoutcards;butItookcaretosendaspecialmessagetoM。lePresidentedeMarville,theonerelativethatI
mentionedtoyou——Therearenofriends——M。Ponswasconductorofanorchestraatatheatre,butIdonotthinkthatanyonewillcome——
Thisgentlemanistheuniversallegatee,Ibelieve。“
“Thenheoughttobechiefmourner,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies——“Haveyouablackcoat？”hecontinued,noticingSchmucke\'scostume。
“Iamallinplackinsite！”poorSchmuckerepliedinheartrendingtones;“soplackitisdotIfeeldeathinme……Gottinhefnisgoingtohafpityuponme;Hevillsendmetomeinfriendindergrafe,undIdankHimforit——“
Heclaspedhishands。
“Ihavetoldourmanagementbeforenowthatweoughttohaveawardrobedepartmentandlendthepropermourningcostumesonhire,“
saidthemasteroftheceremonies,addressingVillemot;“itisawantthatismoreandmorefelteveryday,andwehaveevennowintroducedimprovements。Butasthisgentlemanischiefmourner,heoughttowearacloak,andthisonethatIhavebroughtwithmewillcoverhimfromheadtofoot;nooneneedknowthatheisnotinpropermourningcostume——Willyoubesokindastorise？”
Schmuckerose,buthetotteredonhisfeet。
“Supporthim,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies,turningtoVillemot;
“youarehislegalrepresentative。“
VillemotheldSchmucke\'sarmwhilethemasteroftheceremoniesinvestedSchmuckewiththeample,dismal-lookinggarmentwornbyheirs-at-lawintheprocessiontoandfromthehouseandthechurch。
Hetiedtheblacksilkencordsunderthechin,andSchmuckeasheirwasin“fulldress。“
“Andnowcomesagreatdifficulty,“continuedthemasteroftheceremonies;“wewantfourbearersforthepall……Ifnobodycomestothefuneral,whoistofillthecorners?Itishalf-pasttenalready,“headded,lookingathiswatch;“theyarewaitingforusatthechurch。“
“Oh!herecomesFraisier！”Villemotexclaimed,veryimprudently;buttherewasnoonetohearthetacitconfessionofcomplicity。
“Whoisthisgentleman？”inquiredthemasteroftheceremonies。
“Oh!hecomesonbehalfofthefamily。“
“Whosefamily？”
“Thedisinheritedfamily。HeisM。CamusotdeMarville\'srepresentative。“
“Good,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies,withasatisfiedair。“Weshallhavetwopall-bearersatanyrate——youandhe。“
And,happytofindtwooftheplacesfilledup,hetookoutsomewonderfulwhitebuckskingloves,andpolitelypresentedFraisierandVillemotwithapairapiece。
“Ifyougentlemenwillbesogoodastoactaspall-bearers——“saidhe。
Fraisier,inblackfromheadtofoot,pretentiouslydressed,withhiswhitetieandofficialair,wasasighttoshudderat;heembodiedahundredbriefs。
“Willingly,sir,“saidhe。
“Ifonlytwomorepersonswillcome,thefourcornerswillbefilledup,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies。
AtthatverymomenttheindefatigablerepresentativeofthefirmofSonetcameup,and,closelyfollowinghim,themanwhorememberedPonsandthoughtofpayinghimalasttributeofrespect。Thiswasasupernumeraryatthetheatre,themanwhoputoutthescoresonthemusic-standsfortheorchestra。Ponshadbeenwonttogivehimafive-
francpieceonceamonth,knowingthathehadawifeandfamily。
“Oh,Dobinard(Topinard)！”Schmuckecriedoutatthesightofhim,“/you/loveBons！”
“Why,IhavecometoasknewsofM。Ponseverymorning,sir。“
“Eferymorning!boorDobinard！”andSchmuckesqueezedtheman\'shand。
“Buttheytookmeforarelation,nodoubt,anddidnotlikemyvisitsatall。ItoldthemthatIbelongedtothetheatreandcametoinquireafterM。Pons;butitwasnogood。Theysawthroughthatdodge,theysaid。Iaskedtoseethepoordearman,buttheyneverwouldletmecomeupstairs。“
“DatapominableZipod！”saidSchmucke,squeezingTopinard\'shornyhandtohisheart。
“Hewasthebestofmen,thatgoodM。Pons。Everymonthheusetogivemefivefrancs……HeknewthatIhadthreechildrenandawife。Mywifehasgonetothechurch。“
“Ishalldifidemeinpreadmityou,“criedSchmucke,inhisjoyatfindingathissidesomeonewholovedPons。
“Ifthisgentlemanwilltakeacornerofthepall,weshallhaveallfourfilledup,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies。
Therehadbeennodifficultyoverpersuadingtheagentformonuments。
Hetookacornerthemorereadilywhenhewasshownthehandsomepairofgloveswhich,accordingtocustom,wastobehisproperty。
“Aquartertoeleven!Weabsolutelymustgodown。Theyarewaitingforusatthechurch。“
Thesixpersonsthusassembledwentdownthestaircase。
Thecold-bloodedlawyerremainedamomenttospeaktothetwowomenonthelanding。“Stophere,andletnobodycomein,“hesaid,“especiallyifyouwishtoremainincharge,Mme。Cantinet。Aha!twofrancsaday,youknow！”
ByacoincidenceinnowiseextraordinaryinParis,twohearseswerewaitingatthedoor,andtwocoffinsstandingunderthearchway;
Cibot\'sfuneralandthesolitarystateinwhichPonswaslyingwasmadeevenmorestrikinginthestreet。SchmuckewastheonlymournerthatfollowedPons\'coffin;Schmucke,supportedbyoneoftheundertaker\'smen,forhetotteredateverystep。FromtheRuedeNormandietotheRued\'OrleansandtheChurchofSaint-Francoisthetwofuneralswentbetweenadoublerowofcuriousonlookersforeverything(aswassaidbefore)makesasensationinthequarter。
Everyoneremarkedthesplendorofthewhitefuneralcar,withabigembroideredPsuspendedonahatchment,andtheonesolitarymournerbehindit;whilethecheapbierthatcameafteritwasfollowedbyanimmensecrowd。Happily,Schmuckewassobewilderedbythethrongofidlersandtherowsofheadsinthewindows,thatheheardnoremarksandonlysawthefacesthroughamistoftears。
“Oh,itisthenutcracker！”saidone,“themusician,youknow——“
“Whocanthepall-bearersbe？”
“Pooh!play-actors。“
“Isay,justlookatpooroldCibot\'sfuneral。Thereisoneworkertheless。Whataman!hecouldnevergetenoughofwork！”
“Heneverwentout。“
“HeneverkeptSaintMonday。“
“Howfondhewasofhiswife！”
“Ah!Thereisanunhappywoman！”
Remonencqwalkedbehindhisvictim\'scoffin。Peoplecondoledwithhimonthelossofhisneighbor。
Thetwofuneralsreachedthechurch。CantinetandthedoorkeepersawthatnobeggarstroubledSchmucke。VillemothadgivenhiswordthatPons\'heirshouldbeleftinpeace;hewatchedoverhisclient,andgavetherequisitesums;andCibot\'shumblebier,escortedbysixtyoreightypersons,drewallthecrowdafterittothecemetery。AtthechurchdoorPons\'funeralpossessionmusteredfourmourning-coaches,oneforthepriestandthreefortherelations;butoneonlywasrequired,fortherepresentativeofthefirmofSonetdepartedduringmasstogivenoticetohisprincipalthatthefuneralwasontheway,sothatthedesignforthemonumentmightbereadyforthesurvivoratthegatesofthecemetery。AsinglecoachsufficedforFraisier,Villemot,Schmucke,andTopinard;buttheremainingtwo,insteadofreturningtotheundertaker,followedintheprocessiontoPere-
Lachaise——auselessprocession,notunfrequentlyseen;therearealwaystoomanycoacheswhenthedeadareunknownbeyondtheirowncircleandthereisnocrowdatthefuneral。Dear,indeed,thedeadmusthavebeenintheirlifetimeifrelativeorfriendwillgowiththemsofarasthecemeteryinthisParis,whereeveryonewouldfainhavetwenty-fivehoursintheday。Butwiththecoachmenitisdifferent;theylosetheirtipsiftheydonotmakethejourney;so,emptyorfull,themourningcoachesgotothechurchandcemeteryandreturntothehouseforgratuities。Adeathisasortofdrinking-
fountainforanunimaginedcrowdofthirstymortals。Theattendantsatthechurch,thepoor,theundertaker\'smen,thedriversandsextons,arecreatureslikespongesthatdipintoahearseandcomeoutagainsaturated。
Fromthechurchdoor,wherehewasbesetwithaswarmofbeggars(promptlydispersedbythebeadle),toPere-Lachaise,poorSchmuckewentascriminalswentinoldtimesfromthePalaisdeJusticetothePlacedeGreve。Itwashisownfuneralthathefollowed,clingingtoTopinard\'shand,totheonelivingcreaturebesideshimselfwhofeltapangofrealregretforPons\'death。
AsforTopinard,greatlytouchedbythehonoroftherequesttoactaspall-bearer,contenttodriveinacarriage,thepossessorofanewpairofgloves,——itbegantodawnuponhimthatthiswastobeoneofthegreatdaysofhislife。Schmuckewasdrivenpassivelyalongtheroad,assomeunluckycalfisdriveninabutcher\'scarttotheslaughter-house。FraisierandVillemotsatwiththeirbackstothehorses。Now,asthoseknowwhosesadfortuneithasbeentoaccompanymanyoftheirfriendstotheirlastresting-place,allhypocrisybreaksdowninthecoachduringthejourney(oftenaverylongone)
fromthechurchtotheeasterncemetery,tothatoneoftheburying-
groundsofParisinwhichallvanities,allkindsofdisplay,aremet,sorichisitinsumptuousmonuments。Ontheseoccasionsthosewhofeelleastbegintotalksoonest,andintheendthesaddestlisten,andtheirthoughtsarediverted。
“M。lePresidenthadalreadystartedfortheCourt。“FraisiertoldVillemot,“andIdidnotthinkitnecessarytotearhimawayfrombusiness;hewouldhavecometoolate,inanycase。Heisthenext-of-
kin;butashehasbeendisinherited,andM。Schmuckegetseverything,Ithoughtthatifhislegalrepresentativewerepresentitwouldbeenough。“
Topinardlentaneartothis。
“Whowasthequeercustomerthattookthefourthcorner？”continuedFraisier。
“Heisanagentforafirmofmonumentalstone-masons。Hewouldlikeanorderforatomb,onwhichheproposestoputthreesculpturedmarblefigures——Music,Painting,andSculpturesheddingtearsoverthedeceased。“
“Itisanidea,“saidFraisier;“theoldgentlemancertainlydeservedthatmuch;butthemonumentwouldcostsevenoreighthundredfrancs。“
“Oh!quitethat！”
“IfM。Schmuckegivestheorder,itcannotaffecttheestate。Youmighteatupawholepropertywithsuchexpenses。“
“Therewouldbealawsuit,butyouwouldgainit——“
“Verywell,“saidFraisier,“thenitwillbehisaffair——Itwouldbeanicepracticaljoketoplayuponthemonument-makers,“FraisieraddedinVillemot\'sear;“forifthewillisupset(andIcananswerforthat),orifthereisnowillatall,whowouldpaythem？”
Villemotgrinnedlikeamonkey,andthepairbegantotalkconfidentially,loweringtheirvoices;butthemanfromthetheatre,withhiswitsandsensessharpenedintheworldbehindthescenes,couldguessatthenatureoftheirdiscourse;inspiteoftherumblingofthecarriageandotherhindrances,hebegantounderstandthattheserepresentativesofjusticewereschemingtoplungepoorSchmuckeintodifficulties;andwhenatlastheheardtheominousword“Clichy,“thehonestandloyalservitorofthestagemadeuphismindtowatchoverPons\'friend。
Atthecemetery,wherethreesquareyardsofgroundhadbeenpurchasedthroughthegoodofficesofthefirmofSonet(VillemothavingannouncedSchmucke\'sintentionoferectingamagnificentmonument),themasterofceremoniesledSchmuckethroughacuriouscrowdtothegraveintowhichPons\'coffinwasabouttobelowered;buthere,atthesightofthesquarehole,thefourmenwaitingwithropestolowerthebier,andtheclergysayingthelastprayerforthedeadatthegrave-side,somethingclutchedtightlyattheGerman\'sheart。Hefaintedaway。
Sonet\'sagentandM。SonethimselfcametohelpTopinardtocarrypoorSchmuckeintothemarble-workshardby,whereMme。SonetandMme。
Vitelot(Sonet\'spartner\'swife)wereeagerlyprodigalofeffortstorevivehim。Topinardstayed。HehadseenFraisierinconversationwithSonet\'sagent,andFraisier,inhisopinion,hadgallows-birdwrittenonhisface。
Anhourlater,towardshalf-pasttwoo\'clock,thepoor,innocentGermancametohimself。Schmuckethoughtthathehadbeendreamingforthepasttwodays;ifhecouldonlywake,heshouldfindPonsstillalive。Somanywettowelshadbeenlaidonhisforehead,hehadbeenmadetoinhalesaltsandvinegartosuchanextent,thatheopenedhiseyesatlast。Mme。Sonetmakehimtakesomemeat-soup,fortheyhadputthepotonthefireatthemarble-works。
“Ourclientsdonotoftentakethingstoheartlikethis;still,ithappensonceinayearortwo——“
AtlastSchmucketalkedofreturningtotheRuedeNormandie,andatthisSonetbeganatonce。
“Hereisthedesign,sir,“hesaid;“Vitelotdrewitexpresslyforyou,andsatuplastnighttodoit……Andhehasbeenhappilyinspired,itwilllookfine——“
“OneofthefinestinPere-Lachaise！”saidthelittleMme。Sonet。“Butyoureallyoughttohonorthememoryofafriendwholeftyouallhisfortune。“
Thedesign,supposedtohavebeendrawnonpurpose,had,asamatteroffact,beenpreparedfordeMarsay,thefamouscabinetminister。Hiswidow,however,hadgiventhecommissiontoStidmann;peopleweredisgustedwiththetawdrinessoftheproject,anditwasrefused。ThethreefiguresatthatperiodrepresentedthethreedaysofJulywhichbroughttheeminentministertopower。Subsequently,SonetandVitelothadturnedtheThreeGloriousDays——“/lestroisglorieuses/“——intotheArmy,Finance,andtheFamily,andsentinthedesignforthesepulchreofthelatelamentedCharlesKeller;andhereagainStidmanntookthecommission。Intheelevenyearsthatfollowed,thesketchhadbeenmodifiedtosuitallkindsofrequirements,andnowinVitelot\'sfreshtracingtheyreappearedasMusic,Sculpture,andPainting。
“Itisameretriflewhenyouthinkofthedetailsandcostofsettingitup;foritwilltakesixmonths,“saidVitelot。“Hereistheestimateandtheorder-form——seventhousandfrancs,sketchinplasternotincluded。“
“IfM。Schmuckewouldlikemarble,“putinSonet(marblebeinghisspecialdepartment),“itwouldcosttwelvethousandfrancs,andmonsieurwouldimmortalizehimselfaswellashisfriend。“
TopinardturnedtoVitelot。
“Ihavejustheardthattheyaregoingtodisputethewill,“hewhispered,“andtherelativesarelikelytocomebytheirproperty。GoandspeaktoM。Camusot,forthispoor,harmlesscreaturehasnotafarthing。“
“Thisisthekindofcustomerthatyoualwaysbringus,“saidMme。
Vitelot,beginningaquarrelwiththeagent。
TopinardledSchmuckeaway,andtheyreturnedhomeonfoottotheRuedeNormandie,forthemourning-coacheshadbeensentback。
“Donotleafme,“Schmuckesaid,whenTopinardhadseenhimsafeintoMme。Sauvage\'shands,andwantedtogo。
“Itisfouro\'clock,dearM。Schmucke。Imustgohometodinner。Mywifeisabox-opener——shewillnotknowwhathasbecomeofme。Thetheatreopensataquartertosix,youknow。“
“Yes,Iknow……butrememberdatIamaloneindieearth,datIhafnofriend。YoudathafshedatearforBonsenlidenme;Iaminteeptarkness,undBonssaiddatIvasindermidstofshcoundrels。“
“Ihaveseenthatplainlyalready;IhavejustpreventedthemfromsendingyoutoClichy。“
“/Gligy!/“repeatedSchmucke;“Idonotunderstand。“
“Poorman!Well,nevermind,Iwillcometoyou。Good-bye。“
“Goot-bye;kommagainsoon,“saidSchmucke,droppinghalf-deadwithweariness。
“Good-bye,mosieu,“saidMme。Sauvage,andtherewassomethinginhertonethatstruckTopinard。
“Oh,come,whatisthematternow？”heasked,banteringly。“Youareattitudinizinglikeatraitorinamelodrama。“
“Traitoryourself!Whyhaveyoucomemeddlinghere?Doyouwanttohaveahandinthemaster\'saffairs,andswindlehim,eh？”
“Swindlehim!……Yourveryhumbleservant！”Topinardansweredwithsuperbdisdain。“Iamonlyapoorsuperatatheatre,butIamsomethingofanartist,andyoumayaswellknowthatIneveraskedanythingofanybodyyet!Whoaskedanythingofyou?Whoowesyouanything?eh,oldlady！”
“Youareemployedatatheatre,andyournameis——？”
“Topinard,atyourservice。“
“Kindregardstoallathome,“saidLaSauvage,“andmycomplimentstoyourmissus,ifyouaremarried,mister……ThatwasallIwantedtoknow。“
“Why,whatisthematter,dear？”askedMme。Cantinet,comingout。
“This,child——stophereandlookafterthedinnerwhileIrunroundtospeaktomonsieur。“
“Heisdownbelow,talkingwithpoorMme。Cibot,thatiscryinghereyesout,“saidMme。Cantinet。
LaSauvagedasheddowninsuchheadlonghastethatthestairstrembledbeneathhertread。
“Monsieur！”shecalled,anddrewhimasideafewpacestopointoutTopinard。
Topinardwasjustgoingaway,proudathearttohavemadesomereturnalreadytothemanwhohaddonehimsomanykindnesses。HehadsavedPons\'friendfromatrap,byastratagemfromthatworldbehindthescenesinwhicheveryonehasmoreorlessreadywit。Andwithinhimselfhevowedtoprotectamusicianinhisorchestrafromfuturesnaressetforhissimplesincerity。
“Doyouseethatlittlewretch？”saidLaSauvage。“HeisakindofhonestmanthathasamindtopokehisnoseintoM。Schmucke\'saffairs。“
“Whoishe？”askedFraisier。
“Oh!heisanobody。“
“Inbusinessthereisnosuchthingasanobody。“
“Oh,heisemployedatthetheatre,“saidshe;“hisnameisTopinard。“
“Good,Mme。Sauvage!Goonlikethis,andyoushallhaveyourtobacconist\'sshop。“
AndFraisierresumedhisconversationwithMme。Cibot。
“SoIsay,mydearclient,thatyouhavenotplayedopenlyandabove-
boardwithme,andthatoneisnotboundinanywaytoapartnerwhocheats。“
“AndhowhaveIcheatedyou？”askedLaCibot,handsonhips。“Doyouthinkthatyouwillfrightenmewithyoursourlooksandyourfrostyairs?Youlookaboutforbadreasonsforbreakingyourpromises,andyoucallyourselfanhonestman!Doyouknowwhatyouare?Youareablackguard!Yes!yes!scratchyourarm;butjustpocketthat——“
“Nowords,andkeepyourtemper,dearie。Listentome。Youhavebeenfeatheringyournest……Ifoundthiscataloguethismorningwhileweweregettingreadyforthefuneral;itisallinM。Pons\'
handwriting,andmadeoutinduplicate。Andasitchanced,myeyesfellonthis——“
Andopeningthecatalogue,heread：
“No。7。/Magnificentportraitpaintedonmarble,bySebastiandelPiombo,in1546。SoldbyafamilywhohaditremovedfromTerniCathedral。Thepicture,whichrepresentsaKnight-Templarkneelinginprayer,usedtohangaboveatomboftheRossifamilywithacompanionportraitofaBishop,afterwardspurchasedbyanEnglishman。TheportraitmightbeattributedtoRaphael,butforthedate。Thisexampleis,tomymind,superiortotheportraitofBaccioBandinelliintheMusee;thelatterisalittlehard,whiletheTemplar,beingpaintedupon\'lavagna,\'orslate,haspreserveditsfreshnessofcoloring。/“
“WhenIcometolookforNo。7,“continuedFraisier,“Ifindaportraitofalady,signed\'Chardin,\'withoutanumberonit!Iwentthroughthepictureswiththecataloguewhilethemasterofceremonieswasmakingupthenumberofpall-bearers,andfoundthateightofthoseindicatedasworksofcapitalimportancebyM。Ponshaddisappeared,andeightpaintingsofnospecialmerit,andwithoutnumbers,werethereinstead……Andfinally,onewasmissingaltogether,alittlepanel-paintingbyMetzu,describedinthecatalogueasamasterpiece。“
“Andwas/I/inchargeofthepictures？”demandedLaCibot。
“No;butyouwereinapositionoftrust。YouwereM。Pons\'
housekeeper,youlookedafterhisaffairs,andhehasbeenrobbed——“
“Robbed!Letmetellyouthis,sir：M。Schmuckesoldthepictures,byM。Pons\'orders,tomeetexpenses。“
“Andtowhom？”
“ToMessrs。ElieMagusandRemonencq。“
“Forhowmuch？”
“IamsureIdonotremember。“
“Lookhere,mydearmadame;youhavebeenfeatheringyournest,andverysnugly。Ishallkeepaneyeuponyou;Ihaveyousafe。Helpme,I
willsaynothing!Inanycase,youknowthatsinceyoudeemeditexpedienttoplunderM。lePresidentCamusot,yououghtnottoexpectanythingfrom/him/。“
“Iwassurethatthiswouldallendinsmoke,forme,“saidLaCibot,mollifiedbythewords“Iwillsaynothing。“
Remonencqchimedinatthispoint。
“HereareyoufindingfaultwithMme。Cibot;thatisnotright！”hesaid。“ThepicturesweresoldbyprivatetreatybetweenM。Pons,M。
Magus,andme。Wewaitedforthreedaysbeforewecametotermswiththedeceased;hesleptonhispictures。Wetookreceiptsinproperform;andifwegaveMadameCibotafewforty-francpieces,itisthecustomofthetrade——wealwaysdosoinprivatehouseswhenweconcludeabargain。Ah!mydearsir,ifyouthinktocheatadefencelesswoman,youwillnotmakeagoodbargain!Doyouunderstand,masterlawyer?——M。Magusrulesthemarket,andifyoudonotcomedownoffthehighhorse,ifyoudonotkeepyourwordtoMme。
Cibot,Ishallwaittillthecollectionissold,andyoushallseewhatyouwillloseifyouhaveM。Magusandmeagainstyou;wecangetthedealersinaring。Insteadofrealizingsevenoreighthundredthousandfrancs,youwillnotsomuchasmaketwohundredthousand。“
“Good,good,weshallsee。Wearenotgoingtosell;orifwedo,itwillbeinLondon。“
“WeknowLondon,“saidRemonencq。“M。MagusisaspowerfulthereasatParis。“
“Good-day,madame;Ishallsiftthesematterstothebottom,“saidFraisier——“unlessyoucontinuetodoasItellyou“headded。
“Youlittlepickpocket!——“
“Takecare!Ishallbeajusticeofthepeacebeforelong。“Andwiththreatsunderstoodtothefulluponeitherside,theyseparated。
“Thankyou,Remonencq！”saidLaCibot;“itisverypleasanttoapoorwidowtofindachampion。“
Towardsteno\'clockthatevening,GaudissartsentforTopinard。Themanagerwasstandingwithhisbacktothefire,inaNapoleonicattitude——atrickwhichhehadlearnedsincebebegantocommandhisarmyofactors,dancers,/figurants/,musicians,andstagecarpenters。
Hegraspedhisleft-handbracewithhisrighthand,alwaysthrustintohiswaistcoat;heheadwasflungfarback,hiseyesgazedoutintospace。
“Ah!Isay,Topinard,haveyouindependentmeans？”
“No,sir。“
“Areyouonthelookouttobetteryourselfsomewhereelse？”
“No,sir——“saidTopinard,withaghastlycountenance。
“Why,hangitall,yourwifetakesthefirstrowofboxesoutofrespecttomypredecessor,whocametogrief;Igaveyouthejobofcleaningthelampsinthewingsinthedaytime,andyouputoutthescores。Andthatisnotall,either。Yougettwentysousforactingmonstersandmanagingdevilswhenahellisrequired。Thereisnotasuperthatdoesnotcovetyourpost,andtherearethosethatarejealousofyou,myfriend;youhaveenemiesinthetheatre。“
“Enemies！”repeatedTopinard。
“Andyouhavethreechildren;theoldesttakeschildren\'spartsatfiftycentimes——“
“Sir!——“
“Youwanttomeddleinotherpeople\'sbusiness,andputyourfingerintoawillcase——Why,youwretchedman,youwouldbecrushedlikeanegg-shell!MypatronisHisExcellency,MonseigneurleComtePopinot,aclevermanandamanofhighcharacter,whomtheKinginhiswisdomhassummonedbacktotheprivycouncil。Thisstatesman,thisgreatpolitician,hasmarriedhiseldestsontoadaughterofM。lePresidentdeMarville,oneoftheforemostmenamongthehighcourtsofjustice;oneoftheleadinglightsofthelaw-courts。Doyouknowthelaw-courts?Verygood。Well,heiscousinandheirtoM。Pons,toouroldconductorwhosefuneralyouattendedthismorning。Idonotblameyouforgoingtopaythelastrespectstohim,poorman……
ButifyoumeddleinM。Schmucke\'saffairs,youwillloseyourplace。
IwishverywelltoM。Schmucke,butheisinadelicatepositionwithregardtotheheirs——andastheGermanisalmostnothingtome,andthePresidentandCountPopinotareagreatdeal,IrecommendyoutoleavetheworthyGermantogetoutofhisdifficultiesbyhimself。
ThereisaspecialProvidencethatwatchesoverGermans,andthepartofdeputyguardian-angelwouldnotsuityouatall。Doyousee?Stayasyouare——youcannotdobetter。“
“Verygood,monsieurledirecteur,“saidTopinard,muchdistressed。
AndinthiswaySchmuckelosttheprotectorsenttohimbyfate,theonecreaturethatshedatearforPons,thepoorsuperforwhosereturnhelookedonthemorrow。
NextmorningpoorSchmuckeawoketoasenseofhisgreatandheavyloss。Helookedroundtheemptyrooms。Yesterdayandthedaybeforeyesterdaythepreparationsforthefuneralhadmadeastirandbustlewhichdistractedhiseyes;butthesilencewhichfollowstheday,whenthefriend,father,son,orlovedwifehasbeenlaidinthegrave——thedull,coldsilenceofthemorrowisterrible,isglacial。SomeirresistibleforcedrewhimtoPons\'chamber,butthesightofitwasmorethanthepoormancouldbear;heshrankawayandsatdowninthedining-room,whereMme。Sauvagewasbusymakingbreakfastready。
Schmuckedrewhischairtothetable,buthecouldeatnothing。A
sudden,somewhatsharpringingofthedoor-bellrangthroughthehouse,andMme。CantinetandMme。Sauvageallowedthreeblack-coatedpersonagestopass。FirstcameVitel,thejusticeofthepeace,withhishighlyrespectableclerk;thirdwasFraisier,neithersweeternormilderforthedisappointingdiscoveryofavalidwillcancelingtheformidableinstrumentsoaudaciouslystolenbyhim。
“Wehavecometoaffixsealsontheproperty,“thejusticeofthepeacesaidgently,addressingSchmucke。ButtheremarkwasGreektoSchmucke;hegazedindismayathisthreevisitors。
“WehavecomeattherequestofM。Fraisier,legalrepresentativeofM。CamusotdeMarville,heirofthelatePons——“addedtheclerk。
“Thecollectionishereinthisgreatroom,andinthebedroomofthedeceased,“remarkedFraisier。
“Verywell,letusgointothenextroom——Pardonus,sir;donotletusinterruptwithyourbreakfast。“
TheinvasionstruckanicychillofterrorintopoorSchmucke。
Fraisier\'svenomousglancesseemedtopossesssomemagneticinfluenceoverhisvictims,likethepowerofaspideroverafly。
“M。Schmuckeunderstoodhowtoturnawill,madeinthepresenceofanotary,tohisownadvantage,“hesaid,“andhesurelymusthaveexpectedsomeoppositionfromthefamily。Afamilydoesnotallowitselftobeplunderedbyastrangerwithoutsomeprotest;andweshallsee,sir,whichcarriestheday——fraudandcorruptionortherightfulheirs……Wehavearightasnextofkintoaffixseals,andsealsshallbeaffixed。Imeantoseethattheprecautionistakenwiththeutmoststrictness。“
“Ach,meinGott!howhafIoffendedagainstHefn？”criedtheinnocentSchmucke。
“Thereisagooddealoftalkaboutyouinthehouse,“saidLaSauvage。“Whileyouwereasleep,alittlewhipper-snapperinablacksuitcamehere,apuppythatsaidhewasM。Hannequin\'shead-clerk,andmustseeyouatallcosts;butasyouwereasleepandtiredoutwiththefuneralyesterday,ItoldhimthatM。Villemot,Tabareau\'shead-clerk,wasactingforyou,andifitwasamatterofbusiness,I
said,hemightspeaktoM。Villemot。\'Ah,somuchthebetter!\'theyoungstersaid。\'Ishallcometoanunderstandingwithhim。WewilldepositthewillattheTribunal,aftershowingittothePresident。\'
Soatthat,ItoldhimtoaskM。Villemottocomehereassoonashecould——Beeasy,mydearsir,therearethosethatwilltakecareofyou。Theyshallnotshearthefleeceoffyourback。Youwillhavesomeonethathasbeakandclaws。M。Villemotwillgivethemapieceofhismind。Ihaveputmyselfinapassiononcealreadywiththatabominablehussy,LaCibot,aporter\'swifethatsetsuptojudgeherlodgers,forsooth,andinsiststhatyouhavefilchedthemoneyfromtheheirs;
youlockedM。Ponsup,shesays,andworkeduponhimtillhewasstark,staringmad。Shegotasgoodasshegave,though,thewretchedwoman。\'Youareathiefandabadlot,\'Itoldher;\'youwillgetintothepolice-courtsforallthethingsthatyouhavestolenfromthegentlemen,\'andsheshutup。“
TheclerkcameouttospeaktoSchmucke。
“Wouldyouwishtobepresent,sir,whenthesealsareaffixedinthenextroom？”
“Goon,goon,“saidSchmucke;“Ishallpeallowedtodieinbeace,I
bresume？”
“Oh,underanycircumstancesamanhasarighttodie,“theclerkanswered,laughing;“mostofourbusinessrelatestowills。But,inmyexperience,theuniversallegateeveryseldomfollowsthetestatortothetomb。“
“Iamgoing,“saidSchmucke。Blowafterblowhadgivenhimanintolerablepainattheheart。
“Oh!herecomesM。Villemot！”exclaimedLaSauvage。
“MennesirFillemod,“saidpoorSchmucke,“rebresentme。“
“Ihurriedhereatonce,“saidVillemot。“Ihavecometotellyouthatthewilliscompletelyinorder;itwillcertainlybeconfirmedbythecourt,andyouwillbeputinpossession。Youwillhaveafinefortune。“
“/I?/Einfeinvordune？”criedSchmucke,despairingly。Thatheofallmenshouldbesuspectedofcaringforthemoney!
“Andmeantimewhatisthejusticeofthepeacedoingherewithhiswaxcandlesandhisbitsoftape？”askedLaSauvage。
“Oh,heisaffixingseals……Come,M。Schmucke,youhavearighttobepresent。“
“No——goinyourself。“
“ButwhereistheuseofthesealsifM。Schmuckeisinhisownhouseandeverythingbelongstohim？”askedLaSauvage,doingjusticeinfemininefashion,andinterpretingtheCodeaccordingtotheirfancy,likeoneandallofhersex。
“M。Schmuckeisnotinpossession,madame;heisinM。Pons\'house。
Everythingwillbehis,nodoubt;butthelegateecannottakepossessionwithoutanauthorization——anorderfromtheTribunal。Andifthenext-of-kinsetasidebythetestatorshoulddisputetheorder,alawsuitistheresult。Andasnobodyknowswhatmayhappen,everythingissealedup,andthenotariesrepresentingeithersideproceedtodrawupaninventoryduringthedelayprescribedbythelaw……Andthereyouare！”
Schmucke,hearingsuchtalkforthefirsttimeinhislife,wascompletelybewilderedbyit;hisheadsankdownuponthebackofhischair——hecouldnotsupportit,ithadgrownsoheavy。
Villemotmeanwhilewentofftochatwiththejusticeofthepeaceandhisclerk,assistingwithprofessionalcoolnesstoaffixtheseals——aceremonywhichalwaysinvolvessomebuffooneryandplentifulcommentsontheobjectsthussecured,unless,indeed,oneofthefamilyhappenstobepresent。Atlengththepartysealedupthechamberandreturnedtothedining-room,whithertheclerkbetookhimself。Schmuckewatchedthemechanicaloperationwhichconsistsinsettingthejustice\'ssealateitherendofabitoftapestretchedacrosstheopeningofafolding-door;or,inthecaseofacupboardorordinarydoor,fromedgetoedgeabovethedoor-handle。
“Nowforthisroom,“saidFraisier,pointingtoSchmucke\'sbedroom,whichopenedintothedining-room。
“ButthatisM。Schmucke\'sownroom,“remonstratedLaSauvage,springinginfrontofthedoor。
“Wefoundtheleaseamongthepapers,“Fraisiersaidruthlessly;
“therewasnomentionofM。Schmuckeinit;itistakenoutinM。
Pons\'nameonly。Thewholeplace,andeveryroominit,isapartoftheestate。Andbesides“——flingingopenthedoor——“lookhere,monsieurlejugedelapaix,itisfullofpictures。“
“Soitis,“answeredthejusticeofthepeace,andFraisierthereupongainedhispoint。
“Waitabit,gentlemen,“saidVillemot。“Doyouknowthatyouareturningtheuniversallegateeoutofdoors,andasyethisrighthasnotbeencalledinquestion？”
“Yes,ithas,“saidFraisier;“weareopposingthetransferoftheproperty。“
“Anduponwhatgrounds？”
“Youshallknowthatbyandby,myboy,“Fraisierreplied,banteringly。“Atthismoment,ifthelegateewithdrawseverythingthathedeclarestobehis,weshallraisenoobjections,buttheroomitselfwillbesealed。AndM。Schmuckemaylodgewherehepleases。“
“No,“saidVillemot;“M。Schmuckeisgoingtostayinhisroom。“
“Andhow？”
“Ishalldemandanimmediatespecialinquiry,“continuedVillemot,“andprovethatwepayhalftherent。Youshallnotturnusout。Takeawaythepictures,decideontheownershipofthevariousarticles,butheremyclientstops——\'myboy。\'“
“Ishallgoout！”theoldmusiciansuddenlysaid。Hehadrecoveredenergyduringtheodiousdispute。
“Youhadbetter,“saidFraisier。“Yourcoursewillsaveexpensetoyou,foryourcontentionwouldnotbemadegood。Theleaseisevidence——“
“Thelease!thelease！”criedVillemot,“itisaquestionofgoodfaith——“
“Thatcouldonlybeprovedinacriminalcase,bycallingwitnesses——
Doyoumeantoplungeintoexperts\'feesandverifications,andorderstoshowcausewhyjudgmentshouldnotbegiven,andlawproceedingsgenerally？”
“No,no！”criedSchmuckeindismay。“Ishallturnout;Iamusedtoit——“
InpracticeSchmuckewasaphilosopher,anunconsciouscynic,sogreatlyhadhesimplifiedhislife。Twopairsofshoes,apairofboots,acoupleofsuitsofclothes,adozenshirts,adozenbandanahandkerchiefs,fourwaistcoats,asuperbpipegiventohimbyPons,withanembroideredtobacco-pouch——thesewereallhisbelongings。
Overwroughtbyafeverofindignation,hewentintohisroomandpiledhisclothesuponachair。
“Alldesearemine,“hesaid,withsimplicityworthyofCincinnatus。
“Derbianoisalsomine。“
FraisierturnedtoLaSauvage。“Madame,gethelp,“hesaid;“takethatpianooutandputitonthelanding。“
“Youaretooroughintothebargain,“saidVillemot,addressingFraisier。“Thejusticeofthepeacegivesordershere;heissupreme。“
“Therearevaluablesintheroom,“putintheclerk。
“Andbesides,“addedthejusticeofthepeace,“M。Schmuckeisgoingoutofhisownfreewill。“
“Didanyoneeverseesuchaclient！”Villemotcriedindignantly,turninguponSchmucke。“Youareaslimpasarag——“
“Vatdositmatterverevondies？”Schmuckesaidashewentout。“Desemenhaftigerfaces……Ishallsendsomebodytovetchmeinbitsofdings。“
“Whereareyougoing,sir？”
“VereitshallbleaseGott,“returnedPons\'universallegateewithsupremeindifference。
“Sendmeword,“saidVillemot。
Fraisierturnedtothehead-clerk。“Goafterhim,“hewhispered。
Mme。Cantinetwasleftincharge,withaprovisionoffiftyfrancspaidoutofthemoneythattheyfound。Thejusticeofthepeacelookedout;thereSchmuckestoodinthecourtyardlookingupatthewindowsforthelasttime。
“Youhavefoundamanofbutter,“remarkedthejustice。
“Yes,“saidFraisier,“yes。Thethingisasgoodasdone。YouneednothesitatetomarryyourgranddaughtertoPoulain;hewillbehead-
surgeonattheQuinze-Vingts。“(TheAsylumfoundedbySt。Louisforthreehundredblindpeople。)
“Weshallsee——Good-day,M。Fraisier,“saidthejusticeofthepeacewithafriendlyair。
“Thereisamanwithaheadonhisshoulders,“remarkedthejustice\'sclerk。“Thedogwillgoalongway。“
Bythistimeitwaseleveno\'clock。TheoldGermanwentlikeanautomatondowntheroadalongwhichPonsandhehadsooftenwalkedtogether。WhereverhewenthesawPons,healmostthoughtthatPonswasbyhisside;andsohereachedthetheatrejustashisfriendTopinardwascomingoutofitafteramorningspentincleaningthelampsandmeditatingonthemanager\'styranny。
“Oh,shoostderdingforme！”criedSchmucke,stoppinghisacquaintance。“Dopinart!youhafalodgingsomeveres,eh？”
“Yes,sir。“
“Ahomeoffyourown？”
“Yes,sir。“
“Areyouvillingtotakemeforeinpoarder?Oh!Ishallpayver\'
vell;Ihafninehundertvrancsofinkomm,und——Ihafnotver\'longterlif……Ishallgifnodroublevatefer……Icaneatonydings——Ionlyvanttoshmokemeinbipe。Und——youarederonlyvondathafshedatearforBons,mitme;undso,Ilofyou。“
“Ishouldbeveryglad,sir;but,tobeginwith,M。Gaudissarthasgivenmeaproperwigging——“
“/Vigging?/“
“Thatisonewayofsayingthathecombedmyhairforme。“
“/Combedyourhair?/“
“Hegavemeascoldingformeddlinginyouraffairs……Sowemustbeverycarefulifyoucometome。ButIdoubtwhetheryouwillstaywhenyouhaveseentheplace;youdonotknowhowwepoordevilslive。“
“Ishouldraderderboorhomeofagoot-heartedmanndothafmournedBons,danderDuileriesmitmendothafeintigerface……IhafchustlefttigersinBons\'house;deyvilleatupeverydings——“
“Comewithme,sir,andyoushallsee。But——well,anyhow,thereisagarret。LetusseewhatMme。Topinardsays。“
Schmuckefollowedlikeasheep,whileTopinardledthewayintooneofthesqualiddistrictswhichmightbecalledthecancersofParis——aspotknownastheCiteBordin。ItisaslumoutoftheRuedeBondy,adoublerowofhousesrunupbythespeculativebuilder,undertheshadowofthehugemassofthePorteSaint-Martintheatre。ThepavementatthehigherendliesbelowtheleveloftheRuedeBondy;
attheloweritfallsawaytowardstheRuedesMathurinsduTemple。
Followitscourseandyoufindthatitterminatesinanotherslumrunningatrightanglestothefirst——theCiteBordinis,infact,aT-shapedblindalley。Itstwostreetsthusarrangedcontainsomethirtyhouses,sixorsevenstorieshigh;andeverystory,andeveryroomineverystory,isaworkshopandawarehouseforgoodsofeverysortanddescription,forthiswartuponthefaceofParisisaminiatureFaubourgSaint-Antoine。Cabinet-workandbrasswork,theatricalcostumes,blownglass,paintedporcelain——allthevariousfancygoodsknownas/l\'articleParis/aremadehere。Dirtyandproductivelikecommerce,alwaysfulloftraffic——foot-passengers,vans,anddrays——theCiteBourdinisanunsavory-lookingneighborhood,withaseethingpopulationinkeepingwiththesqualidsurroundings。
Itisanotunintelligentartisanpopulation,thoughthewholepoweroftheintellectisabsorbedbytheday\'smanuallabor。Topinard,likeeveryotherinhabitantoftheCiteBourdin,livedinitforthesakeofcomparativelylowrent,thecauseofitsexistenceandprosperity。
Hissixthfloorlodging,inthesecondhousetotheleft,lookedoutuponthebeltofgreengarden,stillinexistence,atthebackofthreeorfourlargemansionsintheRuedeBondy。
