Lizaveta,thepedlar,soldmesomecollarsandcuffscheap,pretty,new,embroideredones。KaterinaIvanovnalikedthemverymuch;sheputthemonandlookedatherselfintheglassandwasdelightedwiththem。\'Makemeapresentofthem,Sonia,\'shesaid,\'pleasedo。\'
\'Pleasedo,\'shesaid,shewantedthemsomuch。Andwhencouldshewearthem?Theyjustremindedherofheroldhappydays。Shelookedatherselfintheglass,admiredherself,andshehasnoclothesatall,nothingsofherown,hasn\'thadalltheseyears!Andsheneverasksanyoneforanything;sheisproud,she\'dsoonergiveawayeverything。Andthesesheaskedfor,shelikedthemsomuch。AndIwassorrytogivethem。\'Whatusearetheytoyou,KaterinaIvanovna?\'I
said。Ispokelikethattoher,Ioughtnottohavesaidthat!Shegavemesuchalook。Andshewassogrieved,sogrievedatmyrefusingher。Anditwassosadtosee……Andshewasnotgrievedforthecollars,butformyrefusing,Isawthat。Ah,ifonlyIcouldbringitallback,changeit,takebackthosewords!Ah,ifI……butit\'snothingtoyou！”
“DidyouknowLizaveta,thepedlar？”
“Yes……Didyouknowher？”Soniaaskedwithsomesurprise。
“KaterinaIvanovnaisinconsumption,rapidconsumption;shewillsoondie,“saidRaskolnikovafterapause,withoutansweringherquestion。
“Oh,no,no,no！”
AndSoniaunconsciouslyclutchedbothhishands,asthoughimploringthatsheshouldnot。
“Butitwillbebetterifshedoesdie。“
“No,notbetter,notatallbetter！”Soniaunconsciouslyrepeatedindismay。
“Andthechildren?Whatcanyoudoexcepttakethemtolivewithyou？”
“Oh,Idon\'tknow,“criedSonia,almostindespair,andsheputherhandstoherhead。
Itwasevidentthatthatideahadveryoftenoccurredtoherbeforeandhehadonlyrouseditagain。
“And,what,ifevennow,whileKaterinaIvanovnaisalive,yougetillandaretakentothehospital,whatwillhappenthen？”hepersistedpitilessly。
“Howcanyou?Thatcannotbe！”
AndSonia\'sfaceworkedwithawfulterror。
“Cannotbe？”Raskolnikovwentonwithaharshsmile。“Youarenotinsuredagainstit,areyou?Whatwillhappentothemthen?Theywillbeinthestreet,allofthem,shewillcoughandbegandknockherheadagainstsomewall,asshedidto-day,andthechildrenwillcry……Thenshewillfalldown,betakentothepolicestationandtothehospital,shewilldie,andthechildren……“
“Oh,no……Godwillnotletitbe！”brokeatlastfromSonia\'soverburdenedbosom。
Shelistened,lookingimploringlyathim,claspingherhandsindumbentreaty,asthoughitalldependeduponhim。
Raskolnikovgotupandbegantowalkabouttheroom。Aminutepassed。Soniawasstandingwithherhandsandherheadhanginginterribledejection。
“Andcan\'tyousave?Putbyforarainyday？”heasked,stoppingsuddenlybeforeher。
“No,“whisperedSonia。
“Ofcoursenot。Haveyoutried？”headdedalmostironically。
“Yes。“
“Anditdidn\'tcomeoff!Ofcoursenot!Noneedtoask。“
Andagainhepacedtheroom。Anotherminutepassed。
“Youdon\'tgetmoneyeveryday？”
Soniawasmoreconfusedthaneverandcolourrushedintoherfaceagain。
“No,“shewhisperedwithapainfuleffort。
“ItwillbethesamewithPolenka,nodoubt,“hesaidsuddenly。
“No,no!Itcan\'tbe,no！”Soniacriedaloudindesperation,asthoughshehadbeenstabbed。“Godwouldnotallowanythingsoawful！”
“Heletsotherscometoit。“
“No,no!Godwillprotecther,God！”sherepeatedbesideherself。
“But,perhaps,thereisnoGodatall,“Raskolnikovansweredwithasortofmalignance,laughedandlookedather。
Sonia\'sfacesuddenlychanged;atremorpassedoverit。Shelookedathimwithunutterablereproach,triedtosaysomething,butcouldnotspeakandbrokeintobitter,bittersobs,hidingherfaceinherhands。
“YousayKaterinaIvanovna\'smindisunhinged;yourownmindisunhinged,“hesaidafterabriefsilence。
Fiveminutespassed。Hestillpacedupanddowntheroominsilence,notlookingather。Atlasthewentuptoher;hiseyesglittered。
Heputhistwohandsonhershouldersandlookedstraightintohertearfulface。Hiseyeswerehard,feverishandpiercing,hislipsweretwitching。Allatoncehebentdownquicklyanddroppingtotheground,kissedherfoot。Soniadrewbackfromhimasfromamadman。
Andcertainlyhelookedlikeamadman。
“Whatareyoudoingtome？”shemuttered,turningpale,andasuddenanguishclutchedatherheart。
Hestoodupatonce。
“Ididnotbowdowntoyou,Iboweddowntoallthesufferingofhumanity,“hesaidwildlyandwalkedawaytothewindow。“Listen,“
headded,turningtoheraminutelater。“Isaidjustnowtoaninsolentmanthathewasnotworthyourlittlefinger……andthatI
didmysisterhonourmakinghersitbesideyou。“
“Ach,yousaidthattothem!Andinherpresence？”criedSonia,frightened。“Sitdownwithme!Anhonour!Why,I\'m……
dishonourable……Ah,whydidyousaythat？”
“ItwasnotbecauseofyourdishonourandyoursinIsaidthatofyou,butbecauseofyourgreatsuffering。Butyouareagreatsinner,that\'strue,“headdedalmostsolemnly,“andyourworstsinisthatyouhavedestroyedandbetrayedyourselffornothing。Isn\'tthatfearful?Isn\'titfearfulthatyouarelivinginthisfilthwhichyouloatheso,andatthesametimeyouknowyourself(you\'veonlytoopenyoureyes)thatyouarenothelpinganyonebyit,notsavinganyonefromanything!Tellme,“hewentonalmostinafrenzy,“howthisshameanddegradationcanexistinyousidebysidewithother,opposite,holyfeelings?Itwouldbebetter,athousandtimesbetterandwisertoleapintothewaterandenditall！”
“Butwhatwouldbecomeofthem？”Soniaaskedfaintly,gazingathimwitheyesofanguish,butnotseemingsurprisedathissuggestion。
Raskolnikovlookedstrangelyather。Hereaditallinherface;
soshemusthavehadthatthoughtalready,perhapsmanytimes,andearnestlyshehadthoughtoutinherdespairhowtoenditandsoearnestly,thatnowshescarcelywonderedathissuggestion。Shehadnotevennoticedthecrueltyofhiswords。(Thesignificanceofhisreproachesandhispeculiarattitudetohershameshehad,ofcourse,notnoticedeither,andthat,too,wascleartohim。)Buthesawhowmonstrouslythethoughtofherdisgraceful,shamefulpositionwastorturingherandhadlongtorturedher。“What,what,“hethought,“couldhithertohavehinderedherfromputtinganendtoit？”
Onlythenherealisedwhatthosepoorlittleorphanchildrenandthatpitifulhalf-crazyKaterinaIvanovna,knockingherheadagainstthewallinherconsumption,meantforSonia。
But,nevertheless,itwascleartohimagainthatwithhercharacterandtheamountofeducationshehadafterallreceived,shecouldnotinanycaseremainso。Hewasstillconfrontedbythequestionhowcouldshehaveremainedsolonginthatpositionwithoutgoingoutofhermind,sinceshecouldnotbringherselftojumpintothewater?
OfcourseheknewthatSonia\'spositionwasanexceptionalcase,thoughunhappilynotuniqueandnotinfrequent,indeed;butthatveryexceptionalness,hertingeofeducation,herpreviouslifemight,onewouldhavethought,havekilledheratthefirststeponthatrevoltingpath。Whatheldherup-surelynotdepravity?Allthatinfamyhadobviouslyonlytouchedhermechanically,notonedropofrealdepravityhadpenetratedtoherheart;hesawthat。Hesawthroughherasshestoodbeforehim……
“Therearethreewaysbeforeher,“hethought,“thecanal,themadhouse,or……atlasttosinkintodepravitywhichobscuresthemindandturnsthehearttostone。“
Thelastideawasthemostrevolting,buthewasasceptic,hewasyoung,abstract,andthereforecruel,andsohecouldnothelpbelievingthatthelastendwasthemostlikely。
“Butcanthatbetrue？”hecriedtohimself。“Canthatcreaturewhohasstillpreservedthepurityofherspiritbeconsciouslydrawnatlastintothatsinkoffilthandiniquity?Cantheprocessalreadyhavebegun?Canitbethatshehasonlybeenabletobearittillnow,becausevicehasbeguntobelessloathsometoher?No,no,thatcannotbe！”hecried,asSoniahadjustbefore。“No,whathaskeptherfromthecanaltillnowistheideaofsinandthey,thechildren……Andifshehasnotgoneoutofhermind……butwhosaysshehasnotgoneoutofhermind?Issheinhersenses?Canonetalk,canonereasonasshedoes?Howcanshesitontheedgeoftheabyssofloathsomenessintowhichsheisslippingandrefusetolistenwhensheistoldofdanger?Doessheexpectamiracle?Nodoubtshedoes。Doesn\'tthatallmeanmadness？”
Hestayedobstinatelyatthatthought。Helikedthatexplanationindeedbetterthananyother。Hebeganlookingmoreintentlyather。
“SoyoupraytoGodagreatdeal,Sonia？”heaskedher。
Soniadidnotspeak;hestoodbesideherwaitingforananswer。
“WhatshouldIbewithoutGod？”shewhisperedrapidly,forcibly,glancingathimwithsuddenlyflashingeyes,andsqueezinghishand。
“Ah,sothatisit！”hethought。
“AndwhatdoesGoddoforyou？”heasked,probingherfurther。
Soniawassilentalongwhile,asthoughshecouldnotanswer。Herweakchestkeptheavingwithemotion。
“Besilent!Don\'task!Youdon\'tdeserve！”shecriedsuddenly,lookingsternlyandwrathfullyathim。
“That\'sit,that\'sit,“herepeatedtohimself。
“Hedoeseverything,“shewhisperedquickly,lookingdownagain。
“That\'sthewayout!That\'stheexplanation,“hedecided,scrutinisingherwitheagercuriosity,withanew,strange,almostmorbidfeeling。Hegazedatthatpale,thin,irregular,angularlittleface,thosesoftblueeyes,whichcouldflashwithsuchfire,suchsternenergy,thatlittlebodystillshakingwithindignationandanger-anditallseemedtohimmoreandmorestrange,almostimpossible。“Sheisareligiousmaniac！”herepeatedtohimself。
Therewasabooklyingonthechestofdrawers。Hehadnoticediteverytimehepacedupanddowntheroom。Nowhetookitupandlookedatit。ItwastheNewTestamentintheRussiantranslation。Itwasboundinleather,oldandworn。
“Wheredidyougetthat？”hecalledtoheracrosstheroom。
Shewasstillstandinginthesameplace,threestepsfromthetable。
“Itwasbroughtme,“sheanswered,asitwereunwillingly,notlookingathim。
“Whobroughtit？”
“Lizaveta,Iaskedherforit。“
“Lizaveta!strange！”hethought。
EverythingaboutSoniaseemedtohimstrangerandmorewonderfuleverymoment。Hecarriedthebooktothecandleandbegantoturnoverthepages。
“WhereisthestoryofLazarus？”heaskedsuddenly。
Sonialookedobstinatelyatthegroundandwouldnotanswer。Shewasstandingsidewaystothetable。
“WhereistheraisingofLazarus?Finditforme,Sonia。“
Shestoleaglanceathim。
“Youarenotlookingintherightplace……It\'sinthefourthgospel,“shewhisperedsternly,withoutlookingathim。
“Finditandreadittome,“hesaid。Hesatdownwithhiselbowonthetable,leanedhisheadonhishandandlookedawaysullenly,preparedtolisten。
“Inthreeweeks\'timethey\'llwelcomemeinthemadhouse!IshallbethereifIamnotinaworseplace,“hemutteredtohimself。
SoniaheardRaskolnikov\'srequestdistrustfullyandmovedhesitatinglytothetable。Shetookthebookhowever。
“Haven\'tyoureadit？”sheasked,lookingupathimacrossthetable。
Hervoicebecamesternerandsterner。
“Longago……WhenIwasatschool。Read！”
“Andhaven\'tyouhearditinchurch？”
“I……haven\'tbeen。Doyouoftengo？”
“N-no,“whisperedSonia。
Raskolnikovsmiled。
“Iunderstand……Andyouwon\'tgotoyourfather\'sfuneralto-morrow？”
“Yes,Ishall。Iwasatchurchlastweek,too……Ihadarequiemservice。“
“Forwhom？”
“ForLizaveta。Shewaskilledwithanaxe。“
Hisnervesweremoreandmorestrained。Hisheadbegantogoround。
“WereyoufriendswithLizaveta？”
“Yes……Shewasgood……sheusedtocome……notoften……shecouldn\'t……Weusedtoreadtogetherand……talk。ShewillseeGod。“
Thelastphrasesoundedstrangeinhisears。Andherewassomethingnewagain：themysteriousmeetingswithLizavetaandbothofthem-religiousmaniacs。
“Ishallbeareligiousmaniacmyselfsoon!It\'sinfectious！”
“Read！”hecriedirritablyandinsistently。
Soniastillhesitated。Herheartwasthrobbing。Shehardlydaredtoreadtohim。Helookedalmostwithexasperationatthe“unhappylunatic。“
“Whatfor?Youdon\'tbelieve?……“shewhisperedsoftlyandasitwerebreathlessly。
“Read!Iwantyouto,“hepersisted。“YouusedtoreadtoLizaveta。“
Soniaopenedthebookandfoundtheplace。Herhandswereshaking,hervoicefailedher。Twiceshetriedtobeginandcouldnotbringoutthefirstsyllable。
“NowacertainmanwassicknamedLazarusofBethany……“sheforcedherselfatlasttoread,butatthethirdwordhervoicebrokelikeanoverstrainedstring。Therewasacatchinherbreath。
RaskolnikovsawinpartwhySoniacouldnotbringherselftoreadtohimandthemorehesawthis,themoreroughlyandirritablyheinsistedonherdoingso。Heunderstoodonlytoowellhowpainfulitwasforhertobetrayandunveilallthatwasherown。Heunderstoodthatthesefeelingsreallywerehersecrettreasure,whichshehadkeptperhapsforyears,perhapsfromchildhood,whileshelivedwithanunhappyfatherandadistractedstepmothercrazedbygrief,inthemidstofstarvingchildrenandunseemlyabuseandreproaches。
Butatthesametimeheknewnowandknewforcertainthat,althoughitfilledherwithdreadandsuffering,yetshehadatormentingdesiretoreadandtoreadtohimthathemighthearit,andtoreadnowwhatevermightcomeofit!……Hereadthisinhereyes,hecouldseeitinherintenseemotion。Shemasteredherself,controlledthespasminherthroatandwentonreadingtheeleventhchapterofSt。
John。Shewentontothenineteenthverse：
“AndmanyoftheJewscametoMarthaandMarytocomfortthemconcerningtheirbrother。
ThenMarthaassoonassheheardthatJesuswascomingwentandmetHim：butMarysatstillinthehouse。
ThensaidMarthauntoJesus,Lord,ifThouhadstbeenhere,mybrotherhadnotdied。
ButIknowthatevennowwhatsoeverThouwiltaskofGod,GodwillgiveitThee……“
Thenshestoppedagainwithashamefacedfeelingthathervoicewouldquiverandbreakagain。
“Jesussaiduntoher,thybrothershallriseagain。
MarthasaithuntoHim,Iknowthatheshallriseagainintheresurrection,atthelastday。
Jesussaiduntoher,Iamtheresurrectionandthelife：hethatbelievethinMethoughheweredead,yetshallhelive。
AndwhosoeverlivethandbelievethinMeshallneverdie。
Believestthouthis?
ShesaithuntoHim,“
(Anddrawingapainfulbreath,Soniareaddistinctlyandforciblyasthoughsheweremakingapublicconfessionoffaith。)
“Yea,Lord：IbelievethatThouarttheChrist,theSonofGodWhichshouldcomeintotheworld。“
Shestoppedandlookedupquicklyathim,butcontrollingherselfwentonreading。Raskolnikovsatwithoutmoving,hiselbowsonthetableandhiseyesturnedaway。Shereadtothethirty-secondverse。
“ThenwhenMarywascomewhereJesuswasandsawHim,shefelldownatHisfeet,sayinguntoHim,LordifThouhadstbeenhere,mybrotherhadnotdied。
WhenJesusthereforesawherweeping,andtheJewsalsoweepingwhichcamewithher,Hegroanedinthespiritandwastroubled,Andsaid,Wherehaveyelaidhim?TheysaiduntoHim,Lord,comeandsee。
Jesuswept。
ThensaidtheJews,beholdhowHelovedhim!
Andsomeofthemsaid,couldnotthisManwhichopenedtheeyesoftheblind,havecausedthateventhismanshouldnothavedied？”
Raskolnikovturnedandlookedatherwithemotion。Yes,hehadknownit!Shewastremblinginarealphysicalfever。Hehadexpectedit。
Shewasgettingnearthestoryofthegreatestmiracleandafeelingofimmensetriumphcameoverher。Hervoicerangoutlikeabell;
triumphandjoygaveitpower。Thelinesdancedbeforehereyes,butsheknewwhatshewasreadingbyheart。Atthelastverse“CouldnotthisManwhichopenedtheeyesoftheblind……“droppinghervoiceshepassionatelyreproducedthedoubt,thereproachandcensureoftheblinddisbelievingJews,whoinanothermomentwouldfallatHisfeetasthoughstruckbythunder,sobbingandbelieving……“Andhe,he-too,isblindedandunbelieving,he,too,willhear,he,too,willbelieve,yes,yes!Atonce,now,“waswhatshewasdreaming,andshewasquiveringwithhappyanticipation。
“JesusthereforeagaingroaninginHimselfcomethtothegrave。Itwasacave,andastonelayuponit。
Jesussaid,Takeyeawaythestone。Martha,thesisterofhimthatwasdead,saithuntoHim,Lordbythistimehestinketh：forhehathbeendeadfourdays。“
Shelaidemphasisonthewordfour。
“Jesussaithuntoher,SaidInotuntotheethatifthouwouldestbelieve,thoushouldestseethegloryofGod?
Thentheytookawaythestonefromtheplacewherethedeadwaslaid。AndJesusliftedupHiseyesandsaid,Father,IthankTheethatThouhastheardMe。
AndIknewthatThouhearestMealways;butbecauseofthepeoplewhichstandbyIsaidit,thattheymaybelievethatThouhastsentMe。
AndwhenHethushadspoken,Hecriedwithaloudvoice,Lazarus,comeforth。
Andhethatwasdeadcameforth。“
(Shereadloudly,coldandtremblingwithecstasy,asthoughshewereseeingitbeforehereyes。)
“Boundhandandfootwithgraveclothes;andhisfacewasboundaboutwithanapkin。Jesussaithuntothem,Loosehimandlethimgo。
ThenmanyoftheJewswhichcametoMaryandhadseenthethingswhichJesusdidbelievedonHim。“
Shecouldreadnomore,closedthebookandgotupfromherchairquickly。
“ThatisallabouttheraisingofLazarus,“shewhisperedseverelyandabruptly,andturningawayshestoodmotionless,notdaringtoraisehereyestohim。Shestilltrembledfeverishly。Thecandle-endwasflickeringoutinthebatteredcandlestick,dimlylightingupinthepoverty-strickenroomthemurdererandtheharlotwhohadsostrangelybeenreadingtogethertheeternalbook。Fiveminutesormorepassed。
“Icametospeakofsomething,“Raskolnikovsaidaloud,frowning。HegotupandwenttoSonia。Sheliftedhereyestohiminsilence。Hisfacewasparticularlysternandtherewasasortofsavagedeterminationinit。
“Ihaveabandonedmyfamilyto-day,“hesaid,“mymotherandsister。
Iamnotgoingtoseethem。I\'vebrokenwiththemcompletely。“
“Whatfor？”askedSoniaamazed。Herrecentmeetingwithhismotherandsisterhadleftagreatimpressionwhichshecouldnotanalyse。
Sheheardhisnewsalmostwithhorror。
“Ihaveonlyyounow,“headded。“Letusgotogether……I\'vecometoyou,wearebothaccursed,letusgoourwaytogether！”
Hiseyesglittered“asthoughheweremad,“Soniathought,inherturn。
“Gowhere？”sheaskedinalarmandsheinvoluntarilysteppedback。
“HowdoIknow?Ionlyknowit\'sthesameroad,Iknowthatandnothingmore。It\'sthesamegoal！”
Shelookedathimandunderstoodnothing。Sheknewonlythathewasterribly,infinitelyunhappy。
“Nooneofthemwillunderstand,ifyoutellthem,butIhaveunderstood。Ineedyou,thatiswhyIhavecometoyou。“
“Idon\'tunderstand,“whisperedSonia。
“You\'llunderstandlater。Haven\'tyoudonethesame?You,too,havetransgressed……havehadthestrengthtotransgress。Youhavelaidhandsonyourself,youhavedestroyedalife……yourown(it\'sallthesame!)。Youmighthavelivedinspiritandunderstanding,butyou\'llendintheHayMarket……Butyouwon\'tbeabletostandit,andifyouremainaloneyou\'llgooutofyourmindlikeme。Youarelikeamadcreaturealready。Sowemustgotogetheronthesameroad!Letusgo！”
“Whatfor?What\'sallthisfor？”saidSonia,strangelyandviolentlyagitatedbyhiswords。
“Whatfor?Becauseyoucan\'tremainlikethis,that\'swhy!Youmustlookthingsstraightinthefaceatlast,andnotweeplikeachildandcrythatGodwon\'tallowit。Whatwillhappen,ifyoushouldreallybetakentothehospitalto-morrow?Sheismadandinconsumption,she\'llsoondie,andthechildren?DoyoumeantotellmePolenkawon\'tcometogrief?Haven\'tyouseenchildrenhereatthestreetcornerssentoutbytheirmotherstobeg?I\'vefoundoutwherethosemothersliveandinwhatsurroundings。Childrencan\'tremainchildrenthere!Atseventhechildisviciousandathief。
Yetchildren,youknow,aretheimageofChrist：\'theirsisthekingdomofHeaven。\'Hebadeushonourandlovethem,theyarethehumanityofthefuture……“
“What\'stobedone,what\'stobedone？”repeatedSonia,weepinghystericallyandwringingherhands。
“What\'stobedone?Breakwhatmustbebroken,onceforall,that\'sall,andtakethesufferingononeself。What,youdon\'tunderstand?You\'llunderstandlater……Freedomandpower,andaboveall,power!Overalltremblingcreationandalltheantheap!……That\'sthegoal,rememberthat!That\'smyfarewellmessage。Perhapsit\'sthelasttimeIshallspeaktoyou。IfIdon\'tcometo-morrow,you\'llhearofitall,andthenrememberthesewords。Andsomedaylateron,inyearstocome,you\'llunderstandperhapswhattheymeant。
IfIcometo-morrow,I\'lltellyouwhokilledLizaveta……Good-bye。“
Soniastartedwithterror。
“Why,doyouknowwhokilledher？”sheasked,chilledwithhorror,lookingwildlyathim。
“Iknowandwilltell……you,onlyyou。Ihavechosenyouout。I\'mnotcomingtoyoutoaskforgiveness,butsimplytotellyou。I
choseyououtlongagotohearthis,whenyourfathertalkedofyouandwhenLizavetawasalive,Ithoughtofit。Good-bye,don\'tshakehands。To-morrow！”
Hewentout。Soniagazedathimasatamadman。Butsheherselfwaslikeoneinsaneandfeltit。Herheadwasgoinground。
“Goodheavens,howdoesheknowwhokilledLizaveta?Whatdidthosewordsmean?It\'sawful！”Butatthesametimetheideadidnotenterherhead,notforamoment!“Oh,hemustbeterriblyunhappy!……
Hehasabandonedhismotherandsister……Whatfor?Whathashappened?Andwhathadheinhismind?Whatdidhesaytoher?Hehadkissedherfootandsaid……said(yes,hehadsaiditclearly)
thathecouldnotlivewithouther……Oh,mercifulheavens！”
Soniaspentthewholenightfeverishanddelirious。Shejumpedupfromtimetotime,weptandwrungherhands,thensankagainintofeverishsleepanddreamtofPolenka,KaterinaIvanovnaandLizaveta,ofreadingthegospelandhim……himwithpaleface,withburningeyes……kissingherfeet,weeping。
Ontheothersideofthedoorontheright,whichdividedSonia\'sroomfromMadameResslich\'sflat,wasaroomwhichlongstoodempty。A
cardwasfixedonthegateandanoticestuckinthewindowsoverthecanaladvertisingittolet。Soniahadlongbeenaccustomedtotheroom\'sbeinguninhabited。ButallthattimeMr。Svidrigailovhadbeenstanding,listeningatthedooroftheemptyroom。WhenRaskolnikovwentouthestoodstill,thoughtamoment,wentontiptoetohisownroomwhichadjoinedtheemptyone,broughtachairandnoiselesslycarriedittothedoorthatledtoSonia\'sroom。Theconversationhadstruckhimasinterestingandremarkable,andhehadgreatlyenjoyedit-somuchsothathebroughtachairthathemightnotinthefuture,to-morrow,forinstance,havetoenduretheinconvenienceofstandingawholehour,butmightlistenincomfort。
ChapterFiveWHENNEXTmorningateleveno\'clockpunctuallyRaskolnikovwentintothedepartmentoftheinvestigationofcriminalcausesandsenthisnameintoPorfiryPetrovitch,hewassurprisedatbeingkeptwaitingsolong：itwasatleasttenminutesbeforehewassummoned。
Hehadexpectedthattheywouldpounceuponhim。Buthestoodinthewaiting-room,andpeople,whoapparentlyhadnothingtodowithhim,werecontinuallypassingtoandfrobeforehim。Inthenextroomwhichlookedlikeanoffice,severalclerksweresittingwritingandobviouslytheyhadnonotionwhoorwhatRaskolnikovmightbe。Helookeduneasilyandsuspiciouslyabouthimtoseewhethertherewasnotsomeguard,somemysteriouswatchbeingkeptonhimtopreventhisescape。Buttherewasnothingofthesort：hesawonlythefacesofclerksabsorbedinpettydetails,thenotherpeople,nooneseemedtohaveanyconcernwithhim。Hemightgowherehelikedforthem。Theconvictiongrewstrongerinhimthatifthatenigmaticmanofyesterday,thatphantomsprungoutoftheearth,hadseeneverything,theywouldnothavelethimstandandwaitlikethat。
Andwouldtheyhavewaitedtillheelectedtoappearateleven?Eitherthemanhadnotyetgiveninformation,or……orsimplyheknewnothing,hadseennothing(andhowcouldhehaveseenanything?)andsoallthathadhappenedtohimthedaybeforewasagainaphantomexaggeratedbyhissickandoverstrainedimagination。Thisconjecturehadbeguntogrowstrongthedaybefore,inthemidstofallhisalarmanddespair。Thinkingitallovernowandpreparingforafreshconflict,hewassuddenlyawarethathewastrembling-andhefeltarushofindignationatthethoughtthathewastremblingwithfearatfacingthathatefulPorfiryPetrovitch。Whathedreadedaboveallwasmeetingthatmanagain;hehatedhimwithanintense,unmitigatedhatredandwasafraidhishatredmightbetrayhim。Hisindignationwassuchthatheceasedtremblingatonce;hemadereadytogoinwithacoldandarrogantbearingandvowedtohimselftokeepassilentaspossible,towatchandlistenandforonceatleasttocontrolhisoverstrainednerves。AtthatmomenthewassummonedtoPorfiryPetrovitch。
HefoundPorfiryPetrovitchaloneinhisstudy。Hisstudywasaroomneitherlargenorsmall,furnishedwithalargewriting-table,thatstoodbeforeasofa,upholsteredincheckedmaterial,abureau,abookcaseinthecornerandseveralchairs-allgovernmentfurniture,ofpolishedyellowwood。Inthefurtherwalltherewasacloseddoor,beyondittherewere,nodoubt,otherrooms。OnRaskolnikov\'sentrancePorfiryPetrovitchhadatonceclosedthedoorbywhichhehadcomeinandtheyremainedalone。Hemethisvisitorwithanapparentlygenialandgood-temperedair,anditwasonlyafterafewminutesthatRaskolnikovsawsignsofacertainawkwardnessinhim,asthoughhehadbeenthrownoutofhisreckoningorcaughtinsomethingverysecret。
“Ah,mydearfellow!Hereyouare……inourdomain“……beganPorfiry,holdingoutbothhandstohim。“Come,sitdown,oldman……orperhapsyoudon\'tliketobecalled\'mydearfellow\'and\'oldman!\'-toutcourt?Pleasedon\'tthinkittoofamiliar……Here,onthesofa。“
Raskolnikovsatdown,keepinghiseyesfixedonhim。“Inourdomain,“theapologiesforfamiliarity,theFrenchphrasetoutcourt,wereallcharacteristicsigns。
“Heheldoutbothhandstome,buthedidnotgivemeone-hedrewitbackintime,“struckhimsuspiciously。Bothwerewatchingeachother,butwhentheireyesmet,quickaslightningtheylookedaway。
“Ibroughtyouthispaper……aboutthewatch。Hereitis。IsitallrightorshallIcopyitagain？”
“What?Apaper?Yes,yes,don\'tbeuneasy,it\'sallright,“
PorfiryPetrovitchsaidasthoughinhaste,andafterhehadsaidithetookthepaperandlookedatit。“Yes,it\'sallright。Nothingmoreisneeded,“hedeclaredwiththesamerapidityandhelaidthepaperonthetable。
Aminutelaterwhenhewastalkingofsomethingelsehetookitfromthetableandputitonhisbureau。
“Ibelieveyousaidyesterdayyouwouldliketoquestionme……
formally……aboutmyacquaintancewiththemurderedwoman？”
Raskolnikovwasbeginningagain。“WhydidIputin\'Ibelieve\'“passedthroughhismindinaflash。“WhyamIsouneasyathavingputinthat\'Ibelieve\'？”cameinasecondflash。AndhesuddenlyfeltthathisuneasinessatthemerecontactwithPorfiry,atthefirstwords,atthefirstlooks,hadgrowninaninstanttomonstrousproportions,andthatthiswasfearfullydangerous。Hisnerveswerequivering,hisemotionwasincreasing。“It\'sbad,it\'sbad!Ishallsaytoomuchagain。“
“Yes,yes,yes!There\'snohurry,there\'snohurry,“mutteredPorfiryPetrovitch,movingtoandfroaboutthetablewithoutanyapparentaim,asitweremakingdashestowardsthewindow,thebureauandthetable,atonemomentavoidingRaskolnikov\'ssuspiciousglance,thenagainstandingstillandlookinghimstraightintheface。
Hisfatroundlittlefigurelookedverystrange,likeaballrollingfromonesidetotheotherandreboundingback。
“We\'veplentyoftime。Doyousmoke?haveyouyourown?Here,acigarette！”hewenton,offeringhisvisitoracigarette。“YouknowIamreceivingyouhere,butmyownquartersarethroughthere,youknow,mygovernmentquarters。ButIamlivingoutsideforthetime,Ihadtohavesomerepairsdonehere。It\'salmostfinishednow……
Governmentquarters,youknow,areacapitalthing。Eh,whatdoyouthink？”
“Yes,acapitalthing,“answeredRaskolnikov,lookingathimalmostironically。
“Acapitalthing,acapitalthing,“repeatedPorfiryPetrovitch,asthoughhehadjustthoughtofsomethingquitedifferent。“Yes,acapitalthing,“healmostshoutedatlast,suddenlystaringatRaskolnikovandstoppingshorttwostepsfromhim。
Thisstupidrepetitionwastooincongruousinitsineptitudewiththeserious,broodingandenigmaticglanceheturneduponhisvisitor。
ButthisstirredRaskolnikov\'sspleenmorethaneverandhecouldnotresistanironicalandratherincautiouschallenge。
“Tellme,please,“heaskedsuddenly,lookingalmostinsolentlyathimandtakingakindofpleasureinhisowninsolence。“Ibelieveit\'sasortoflegalrule,asortoflegaltradition-forallinvestigatinglawyers-tobegintheirattackfromafar,withatrivial,oratleastanirrelevantsubject,soastoencourage,orrather,todivertthemantheyarecross-examining,todisarmhiscautionandthenallatoncetogivehimanunexpectedknockdownblowwithsomefatalquestion。Isn\'tthatso?It\'sasacredtradition,mentioned,Ifancy,inallthemanualsoftheart？”
“Yes,yes……Why,doyouimaginethatwaswhyIspokeaboutgovernmentquarters……eh？”
AndashesaidthisPorfiryPetrovitchscreweduphiseyesandwinked;agood-humoured,craftylookpassedoverhisface。Thewrinklesonhisforeheadweresmoothedout,hiseyescontracted,hisfeaturesbroadenedandhesuddenlywentoffintoanervousprolongedlaugh,shakingalloverandlookingRaskolnikovstraightintheface。Thelatterforcedhimselftolaugh,too,butwhenPorfiry,seeingthathewaslaughing,brokeintosuchaguffawthatheturnedalmostcrimson,Raskolnikov\'srepulsionovercameallprecaution;heleftofflaughing,scowledandstaredwithhatredatPorfiry,keepinghiseyesfixedonhimwhilehisintentionallyprolongedlaughterlasted。Therewaslackofprecautiononbothsides,however,forPorfiryPetrovitchseemedtobelaughinginhisvisitor\'sfaceandtobeverylittledisturbedattheannoyancewithwhichthevisitorreceivedit。ThelatterfactwasverysignificantinRaskolnikov\'seyes：hesawthatPorfiryPetrovitchhadnotbeenembarrassedjustbeforeeither,butthathe,Raskolnikov,hadperhapsfallenintoatrap;thattheremustbesomething,somemotivehereunknowntohim;that,perhaps,everythingwasinreadinessandinanothermomentwouldbreakuponhim……
Hewentstraighttothepointatonce,rosefromhisseatandtookhiscap。
“PorfiryPetrovitch,“hebeganresolutely,thoughwithconsiderableirritation,“yesterdayyouexpressedadesirethatI
shouldcometoyouforsomeinquiries(helaidspecialstressontheword\'inquiries\')。Ihavecomeand,ifyouhaveanythingtoaskme,askit,andifnot,allowmetowithdraw。Ihavenotimetospare……Ihavetobeatthefuneralofthatmanwhowasrunover,ofwhomyou……knowalso,“headded,feelingangryatonceathavingmadethisadditionandmoreirritatedathisanger,“Iamsickofitall,doyouhear,andhavelongbeen。It\'spartlywhatmademeill。Inshort,“heshouted,feelingthatthephraseabouthisillnesswasstillmoreoutofplace,“inshort,kindlyexaminemeorletmego,atonce。Andifyoumustexamineme,dosointheproperform!Iwillnotallowyoutodosootherwise,andsomeanwhile,good-bye,aswehaveevidentlynothingtokeepusnow。“
“Goodheavens!Whatdoyoumean?WhatshallIquestionyouabout？”
cackledPorfiryPetrovitchwithachangeoftone,instantlyleavingofflaughing。“Pleasedon\'tdisturbyourself,“hebeganfidgetingfromplacetoplaceandfussilymakingRaskolnikovsitdown。“There\'snohurry,there\'snohurry,it\'sallnonsense。Oh,no,I\'mverygladyou\'vecometoseemeatlast……Ilookuponyousimplyasavisitor。Andasformyconfoundedlaughter,pleaseexcuseit,RodionRomanovitch。RodionRomanovitch?Thatisyourname?……It\'smynerves,youtickledmesowithyourwittyobservation;Iassureyou,sometimesIshakewithlaughterlikeanIndia-rubberballforhalfanhouratatime……I\'moftenafraidofanattackofparalysis。Dositdown。
Pleasedo,orIshallthinkyouareangry……“
Raskolnikovdidnotspeak;helistened,watchinghim,stillfrowningangrily。Hedidsitdown,butstillheldhiscap。
“Imusttellyouonethingaboutmyself,mydearRodionRomanovitch,“PorfiryPetrovitchcontinued,movingabouttheroomandagainavoidinghisvisitor\'seyes。“Yousee,I\'mabachelor,amanofnoconsequenceandnotusedtosociety;besides,Ihavenothingbeforeme,I\'mset,I\'mrunningtoseedand……andhaveyounoticed,RodionRomanovitch,thatinourPetersburgcircles,iftwoclevermenmeetwhoarenotintimate,butrespecteachother,likeyouandme,ittakesthemhalfanhourbeforetheycanfindasubjectforconversation-theyaredumb,theysitoppositeeachotherandfeelawkward。Everyonehassubjectsofconversation,ladiesforinstance……peopleinhighsocietyalwayshavetheirsubjectsofconversation,c\'estderigueur,butpeopleofthemiddlesortlikeus,thinkingpeoplethatis,arealwaystongue-tiedandawkward。Whatisthereasonofit?Whetheritisthelackofpublicinterest,orwhetheritiswearesohonestwedon\'twanttodeceiveoneanother,I
don\'tknow。Whatdoyouthink?Doputdownyourcap,itlooksasifyouwerejustgoing,itmakesmeuncomfortable……Iamsodelighted……“
RaskolnikovputdownhiscapandcontinuedlisteninginsilencewithaseriousfrowningfacetothevagueandemptychatterofPorfiryPetrovitch。“Doeshereallywanttodistractmyattentionwithhissillybabble？”
“Ican\'tofferyoucoffeehere;butwhynotspendfiveminuteswithafriend,“Porfirypatteredon,“andyouknowalltheseofficialduties……pleasedon\'tmindmyrunningupanddown,excuseit,mydearfellow,Iamverymuchafraidofoffendingyou,butexerciseisabsolutelyindispensableforme。I\'malwayssittingandsogladtobemovingaboutforfiveminutes……Isufferfrommysedentarylife……Ialwaysintendtojoinagymnasium;theysaythatofficialsofallranks,evenPrivyCouncillorsmaybeseenskippinggailythere;
thereyouhaveit,modernscience……yes,yes……Butasformydutieshere,inquiriesandallsuchformalities……youmentionedinquiriesyourselfjustnow……Iassureyoutheseinterrogationsaresometimesmoreembarrassingfortheinterrogatorthanfortheinterrogated……
Youmadetheobservationyourselfjustnowveryaptlyandwittily。
(Raskolnikovhadmadenoobservationofthekind。)Onegetsintoamuddle!Aregularmuddle!Onekeepsharpingonthesamenote,likeadrum!Thereistobeareformandweshallbecalledbyadifferentname,atleast,he-he-he!Andasforourlegaltradition,asyousowittilycalledit,Ithoroughlyagreewithyou。Everyprisonerontrial,eventherudestpeasantknows,thattheybeginbydisarminghimwithirrelevantquestions(asyousohappilyputit)andthendealhimaknock-downblow,he-he-he!-yourfelicitouscompactsson,he-he!
SoyoureallyimaginedthatImeantbygovernmentquarters……he-he!
Youareanironicalperson。Come。Iwon\'tgoon!Ah,bytheway,yes!Onewordleadstoanother。Youspokeofformalityjustnow,aproposoftheinquiry,youknow。Butwhat\'stheuseofformality?
Inmanycasesit\'snonsense。Sometimesonehasafriendlychatandgetsagooddealmoreoutofit。Onecanalwaysfallbackonformality,allowmetoassureyou。Andafterall,whatdoesitamountto?Anexamininglawyercannotbeboundedbyformalityateverystep。Theworkofinvestigationis,sotospeak,afreeartinitsownway,he-he-he！”
PorfiryPetrovitchtookbreathamoment。Hehadsimplybabbledonutteringemptyphrases,lettingslipafewenigmaticwordsandagainrevertingtoincoherence。Hewasalmostrunningabouttheroom,movinghisfatlittlelegsquickerandquicker,lookingattheground,withhisrighthandbehindhisback,whilewithhisleftmakinggesticulationsthatwereextraordinarilyincongruouswithhiswords。
Raskolnikovsuddenlynoticedthatasheranabouttheroomheseemedtwicetostopforamomentnearthedoor,asthoughhewerelistening。
“Isheexpectinganything？”
“Youarecertainlyquiterightaboutit,“Porfirybegangaily,lookingwithextraordinarysimplicityatRaskolnikov(whichstartledhimandinstantlyputhimonhisguard),“certainlyquiterightinlaughingsowittilyatourlegalforms,he-he!Someoftheseelaboratepsychologicalmethodsareexceedinglyridiculousandperhapsuseless,ifoneadherestoocloselytotheforms。Yes……Iamtalkingofformsagain。Well,ifIrecognise,ormorestrictlyspeaking,ifIsuspectsomeoneorothertobeacriminalinanycaseentrustedtome……you\'rereadingforthelaw,ofcourse,RodionRomanovitch？”
“Yes,Iwas……“
“Well,thenitisaprecedentforyouforthefuture-thoughdon\'tsupposeIshouldventuretoinstructyouafterthearticlesyoupublishaboutcrime!No,Isimplymakeboldtostateitbywayoffact,ifItookthismanorthatforacriminal,why,Iask,shouldIworryhimprematurely,eventhoughIhadevidenceagainsthim?InonecaseImaybebound,forinstance,toarrestamanatonce,butanothermaybeinquiteadifferentposition,youknow,sowhyshouldn\'tIlethimwalkaboutthetownabit,he-he-he!ButIseeyoudon\'tquiteunderstand,soI\'llgiveyouaclearerexample。IfIputhiminprisontoosoon,Imayverylikelygivehim,sotospeak,moralsupport,he-he!You\'relaughing？”
Raskolnikovhadnoideaoflaughing。Hewassittingwithcompressedlips,hisfeverisheyesfixedonPorfiryPetrovitch\'s。
“Yesthatisthecase,withsometypesespecially,formenaresodifferent。Yousayevidence。Well,theremaybeevidence。Butevidence,youknow,cangenerallybetakentwoways。Iamanexamininglawyerandaweakman,Iconfessit。Ishouldliketomakeaproof,sotosay,mathematicallyclear,Ishouldliketomakeachainofevidencesuchastwicetwoarefour,itoughttobeadirect,irrefutableproof!AndifIshuthimuptoosoon-eventhoughI
mightbeconvincedhewastheman,Ishouldverylikelybedeprivingmyselfofthemeansofgettingfurtherevidenceagainsthim。Andhow?Bygivinghim,sotospeak,adefiniteposition,Ishallputhimoutofsuspenseandsethismindatrest,sothathewillretreatintohisshell。TheysaythatatSevastopol,soonafterAlma,thecleverpeoplewereinaterriblefrightthattheenemywouldattackopenlyandtakeSevastopolatonce。Butwhentheysawthattheenemypreferredaregularsiege,theyweredelighted,Iamtoldandreassured,forthethingwoulddragonfortwomonthsatleast。
You\'relaughing,youdon\'tbelievemeagain?Ofcourse,you\'reright,too。You\'reright,you\'reright。Theseareanspecialcases,Iadmit。Butyoumustobservethis,mydearRodionRomanovitch,thegeneralcase,thecaseforwhichalllegalformsandrulesareintended,forwhichtheyarecalculatedandlaiddowninbooks,doesnotexistatall,forthereasonthateverycase,everycrimeforinstance,sosoonasitactuallyoccurs,atoncebecomesathoroughlyspecialcaseandsometimesacaseunlikeanythat\'sgonebefore。Verycomiccasesofthatsortsometimesoccur。IfIleaveonemanquitealone,ifIdon\'ttouchhimanddon\'tworryhim,butlethimknoworatleastsuspecteverymomentthatIknowallaboutitandamwatchinghimdayandnight,andifheisincontinualsuspicionandterror,he\'llbeboundtolosehishead。He\'llcomeofhimself,ormaybedosomethingwhichwillmakeitasplainastwicetwoarefour-it\'sdelightful。Itmaybesowithasimplepeasant,butwithoneofoursort,anintelligentmancultivatedonacertainside,it\'sadeadcertainty。For,mydearfellow,it\'saveryimportantmattertoknowonwhatsideamaniscultivated。Andthentherearenerves,therearenerves,youhaveoverlookedthem!Why,theyareallsick,nervousandirritable!……Andthenhowtheyallsufferfromspleen!
ThatIassureyouisaregulargoldmineforus。Andit\'snoanxietytome,hisrunningaboutthetownfree!Lethim,lethimwalkaboutforabit!IknowwellenoughthatI\'vecaughthimandthathewon\'tescapeme。Wherecouldheescapeto,he-he?Abroad,perhaps?APolewillescapeabroad,butnothere,especiallyasIamwatchingandhavetakenmeasures。Willheescapeintothedepthsofthecountryperhaps?
Butyouknow,peasantslivethere,realrudeRussianpeasants。A
moderncultivatedmanwouldpreferprisontolivingwithsuchstrangersasourpeasants。He-he!Butthat\'sallnonsense,andonthesurface。It\'snotmerelythathehasnowheretorunto,heispsychologicallyunabletoescapeme,he-he!Whatanexpression!
Throughalawofnaturehecan\'tescapemeifhehadanywheretogo。
Haveyouseenabutterflyroundacandle?That\'showhewillkeepcirclingandcirclingroundme。Freedomwillloseitsattractions。
He\'llbegintobrood,hellweaveatangleroundhimself,he\'llworryhimselftodeath!What\'smorehewillprovidemewithamathematicalproof-ifIonlygivehimlongenoughinterval……Andhe\'llkeepcirclingroundme,gettingnearerandnearerandthen-flop!He\'llflystraightintomymouthandI\'llswallowhim,andthatwillbeveryamusing,he-he-he!Youdon\'tbelieveme？”
Raskolnikovmadenoreply;hesatpaleandmotionless,stillgazingwiththesameintensityintoPorfiry\'sface。
“It\'salesson,“hethought,turningcold。“Thisisbeyondthecatplayingwithamouse,likeyesterday。Hecan\'tbeshowingoffhispowerwithnomotive……promptingme;heisfartoocleverforthat……
hemusthaveanotherobject。Whatisit?It\'sallnonsense,myfriend,youarepretending,toscareme!You\'venoproofsandthemanIsawhadnorealexistence。Yousimplywanttomakemelosemyhead,toworkmeupbeforehandandsotocrushme。Butyouarewrong,youwon\'tdoit!Butwhygivemesuchahint?Ishereckoningonmyshatterednerves?No,myfriend,youarewrong,youwon\'tdoiteventhoughyouhavesometrapforme……letusseewhatyouhaveinstoreforme。“
Andhebracedhimselftofaceaterribleandunknownordeal。AttimeshelongedtofallonPorfiryandstranglehim。Thisangerwaswhathedreadedfromthebeginning。Hefeltthathisparchedlipswerefleckedwithfoam,hisheartwasthrobbing。Buthewasstilldeterminednottospeaktilltherightmoment。Herealisedthatthiswasthebestpolicyinhisposition,becauseinsteadofsayingtoomuchhewouldbeirritatinghisenemybyhissilenceandprovokinghimintospeakingtoofreely。Anyhow,thiswaswhathehopedfor。
“No,Iseeyoudon\'tbelieveme,youthinkIamplayingaharmlessjokeonyou,“Porfirybeganagain,gettingmoreandmorelively,chucklingateveryinstantandagainpacingroundtheroom。“And,tobesure,you\'reright：Godhasgivenmeafigurethatcanawakennonebutcomicideasinotherpeople;abuffoon;butletmetellyouandIrepeatit,excuseanoldman,mydearRodionRomanovitch,youareamanstillyoung,sotosay,inyourfirstyouthandsoyouputintellectaboveeverything,likeallyoungpeople。Playfulwitandabstractargumentsfascinateyouandthat\'sforalltheworldliketheoldAustrianHofkriegsrath,asfarasIcanjudgeofmilitarymattersthatis：onpaperthey\'dbeatenNapoleonandtakenhimprisoner,andthereintheirstudytheyworkeditalloutinthecleverestfashion,butlookyou,GeneralMacksurrenderedwithallhisarmy,he-he-he!Isee,Isee,RodionRomanovitch,youarelaughingatacivilianlikeme,takingexamplesoutofmilitaryhistory!ButIcan\'thelpit,it\'smyweakness。Iamfondofmilitaryscience。
AndI\'meversofondofreadingallmilitaryhistories。I\'vecertainlymissedmypropercareer。Ioughttohavebeeninthearmy,uponmywordIought。Ishouldn\'thavebeenaNapoleon,butImighthavebeenamajor,he-he-he!Well,I\'lltellyouthewholetruth,mydearfellow,aboutthisspecialcase,Imean：actualfactandaman\'stemperament,mydearsir,areweightymattersandit\'sastonishinghowtheysometimesdeceivethesharpestcalculation!I-listentoanoldman-amspeakingseriously,RodionRomanovitch(ashesaidthisPorfiryPetrovitchwhowasscarcelyfiveandthirtyactuallyseemedtohavegrownold;evenhisvoicechangedandheseemedtoshrinktogether)moreover,I\'macandidman……amIacandidmanornot?Whatdoyousay?IfancyIreallyam：Itellyouthesethingsfornothinganddon\'tevenexpectarewardforit,he-he!Well,toproceed,witinmyopinionisasplendidthing,itis,sotosay,anadornmentofnatureandaconsolationoflife,andwhattricksitcanplay!Sothatitsometimesishardforapoorexamininglawyertoknowwhereheis,especiallywhenhe\'sliabletobecarriedawaybyhisownfancy,too,foryouknowheisamanafterall。Butthepoorfellowissavedbythecriminal\'stemperament,worseluckforhim!Butyoungpeoplecarriedawaybytheirownwitdon\'tthinkofthat\'whentheyoverstepallobstacles\'asyouwittilyandcleverlyexpressedityesterday。Hewilllie-thatis,themanwhoisaspecialcase,theincognito,andhewillliewell,inthecleverestfashion;youmightthinkhewouldtriumphandenjoythefruitsofhiswit,butatthemostinteresting,themostflagrantmomenthewillfaint。Ofcoursetheremaybeillnessandastuffyroomaswell,butanyway!Anywayhe\'sgivenustheidea!Heliedincomparably,buthedidn\'treckononhistemperament。That\'swhatbetrayshim!Anothertimehewillbecarriedawaybyhisplayfulwitintomakingfunofthemanwhosuspectshim,hewillturnpaleasitwereonpurposetomislead,buthispalenesswillbetoonatural,toomuchliketherealthing,againhehasgivenusanidea!Thoughhisquestionermaybedeceivedatfirst,hewillthinkdifferentlynextdayifheisnotafool,and,ofcourse,itislikethatateverystep!Heputshimselfforwardwhereheisnotwanted,speakscontinuallywhenheoughttokeepsilent,bringsinallsortsofallegoricalallusions,he-he!Comesandaskswhydidn\'tyoutakemelongago,he-he-he!Andthatcanhappen,youknow,withthecleverestman,thepsychologist,theliteraryman。Thetemperamentreflectseverythinglikeamirror!Gazeintoitandadmirewhatyousee!Butwhyareyousopale,RodionRomanovitch?Istheroomstuffy?ShallIopenthewindow？”
“Oh,don\'ttrouble,please,“criedRaskolnikovandhesuddenlybrokeintoalaugh。“Pleasedon\'ttrouble。“
Porfirystoodfacinghim,pausedamomentandsuddenlyhetoolaughed。Raskolnikovgotupfromthesofa,abruptlycheckinghishystericallaughter。
“PorfiryPetrovitch,“hebegan,speakingloudlyanddistinctly,thoughhislegstrembledandhecouldscarcelystand。“IseeclearlyatlastthatyouactuallysuspectmeofmurderingthatoldwomanandhersisterLizaveta。LetmetellyouformypartthatIamsickofthis。Ifyoufindthatyouhavearighttoprosecutemelegally,toarrestme,thenprosecuteme,arrestme。ButIwillnotletmyselfbejeeredattomyfaceandworried……“
Hislipstrembled,hiseyesglowedwithfuryandhecouldnotrestrainhisvoice。
“Iwon\'tallowit！”heshouted,bringinghisfistdownonthetable。
“Doyouhearthat,PorfiryPetrovitch?Iwon\'tallowit。“
“Goodheavens!Whatdoesitmean？”criedPorfiryPetrovitch,apparentlyquitefrightened。“RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow,whatisthematterwithyou？”
“Iwon\'tallowit,“Raskolnikovshoutedagain。
“Hush,mydearman!They\'llhearandcomein。Justthink,whatcouldwesaytothem？”PorfiryPetrovitchwhisperedinhorror,bringinghisfaceclosetoRaskolnikov\'s。
“Iwon\'tallowit,Iwon\'tallowit,“Raskolnikovrepeatedmechanically,buthetoospokeinasuddenwhisper。
Porfiryturnedquicklyandrantoopenthewindow。
“Somefreshair!Andyoumusthavesomewater,mydearfellow。
You\'reill！”andhewasrunningtothedoortocallforsomewhenhefoundadecanterofwaterinthecorner。“Come,drinkalittle,“hewhispered,rushinguptohimwiththedecanter。“Itwillbesuretodoyougood。“
PorfiryPetrovitch\'salarmandsympathyweresonaturalthatRaskolnikovwassilentandbeganlookingathimwithwildcuriosity。
Hedidnottakethewater,however。
“RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow,you\'lldriveyourselfoutofyourmind,Iassureyou,ach,ach!Havesomewater,dodrinkalittle。“
Heforcedhimtotaketheglass。Raskolnikovraiseditmechanicallytohislips,butsetitonthetableagainwithdisgust。
“Yes,you\'vehadalittleattack!You\'llbringbackyourillnessagain,mydearfellow,“PorfiryPetrovitchcackledwithfriendlysympathy,thoughhestilllookedratherdisconcerted。“Goodheavens,youmusttakemorecareofyourself!DmitriProkofitchwashere,cametoseemeyesterday-Iknow,Iknow,I\'veanasty,ironicaltemper,butwhattheymadeofit!……Goodheavens,hecameyesterdayafteryou\'dbeen。Wedinedandhetalkedandtalkedaway,andI
couldonlythrowupmyhandsindespair!Didhecomefromyou?Butdositdown,formercy\'ssake,sitdown！”
“No,notfromme,butIknewhewenttoyouandwhyhewent,“
Raskolnikovansweredsharply。
“Youknew？”
“Iknew。Whatofit？”
“Whythis,RodionRomanovitch,thatIknowmorethanthataboutyou;
Iknowabouteverything。Iknowhowyouwenttotakeaflatatnightwhenitwasdarkandhowyourangthebellandaskedabouttheblood,sothattheworkmenandtheporterdidnotknowwhattomakeofit。Yes,Iunderstandyourstateofmindatthattime……butyou\'lldriveyourselfmadlikethat,uponmyword!You\'llloseyourhead!
You\'refullofgenerousindignationatthewrongsyou\'vereceived,firstfromdestiny,andthenfromthepoliceofficers,andsoyourushfromonethingtoanothertoforcethemtospeakoutandmakeanendofitall,becauseyouaresickofallthissuspicionandfoolishness。
That\'sso,isn\'tit?Ihaveguessedhowyoufeel,haven\'tI?Onlyinthatwayyou\'llloseyourheadandRazumihin\'s,too;he\'stoogoodamanforsuchaposition,youmustknowthat。Youareillandheisgoodandyourillnessisinfectiousforhim……I\'lltellyouaboutitwhenyouaremoreyourself……Butdositdown,forgoodness\'sake。
Pleaserest,youlookshocking,dositdown。“
Raskolnikovsatdown;henolongershivered,hewashotallover。InamazementhelistenedwithstrainedattentiontoPorfiryPetrovitchwhostillseemedfrightenedashelookedafterhimwithfriendlysolicitude。Buthedidnotbelieveawordhesaid,thoughhefeltastrangeinclinationtobelieve。Porfiry\'sunexpectedwordsabouttheflathadutterlyoverwhelmedhim。“Howcanitbe,heknowsabouttheflatthen,“hethoughtsuddenly,“andhetellsitmehimself！”
“Yes,inourlegalpracticetherewasacasealmostexactlysimilar,acaseofmorbidpsychology,“Porfirywentonquickly。“Amanconfessedtomurderandhowhekeptitup!Itwasaregularhallucination;hebroughtforwardfacts,heimposeduponeveryoneandwhy?Hehadbeenpartly,butonlypartly,unintentionallythecauseofamurderandwhenheknewthathehadgiventhemurdererstheopportunity,hesankintodejection,itgotonhismindandturnedhisbrain,hebeganimaginingthingsandhepersuadedhimselfthathewasthemurderer。ButatlasttheHighCourtofAppealswentintoitandthepoorfellowwasacquittedandputunderpropercare。ThankstotheCourtofAppeals!Tut-tut-tut!Why,mydearfellow,youmaydriveyourselfintodeliriumifyouhavetheimpulsetoworkuponyournerves,togoringingbellsatnightandaskingaboutblood!I\'vestudiedallthismorbidpsychologyinmypractice。Amanissometimestemptedtojumpoutofawindoworfromabelfry。Justthesamewithbell-ringing……It\'sallillness,RodionRomanovitch!Youhavebeguntoneglectyourillness。Youshouldconsultanexperienceddoctor,what\'sthegoodofthatfatfellow?Youarelightheaded!Youweredeliriouswhenyoudidallthis！”
ForamomentRaskolnikovfelteverythinggoinground。
“Isitpossible,isitpossible,“flashedthroughhismind,“thatheisstilllying?Hecan\'tbe,hecan\'tbe。“Herejectedthatidea,feelingtowhatadegreeoffuryitmightdrivehim,feelingthatthatfurymightdrivehimmad。
“Iwasnotdelirious。IknewwhatIwasdoing,“hecried,strainingeveryfacultytopenetratePorfiry\'sgame,“Iwasquitemyself,doyouhear？”
“Yes,Ihearandunderstand。Yousaidyesterdayyouwerenotdelirious,youwereparticularlyemphaticaboutit!Iunderstandallyoucantellme!A-ach!……Listen,RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow。
Ifyouwereactuallyacriminal,orweresomehowmixedupinthisdamnablebusiness,wouldyouinsistthatyouwerenotdeliriousbutinfullpossessionofyourfaculties?Andsoemphaticallyandpersistently?Woulditbepossible?Quiteimpossible,tomythinking。Ifyouhadanythingonyourconscience,youcertainlyoughttoinsistthatyouweredelirious。That\'sso,isn\'tit？”
Therewasanoteofslynessinthisinquiry。RaskolnikovdrewbackonthesofaasPorfirybentoverhimandstaredinsilentperplexityathim。
“AnotherthingaboutRazumihin-youcertainlyoughttohavesaidthathecameofhisownaccord,tohaveconcealedyourpartinit!Butyoudon\'tconcealit!Youlaystressonhiscomingatyourinstigation。“
Raskolnikovhadnotdoneso。Achillwentdownhisback。
“Youkeeptellinglies,“hesaidslowlyandweakly,twistinghislipsintoasicklysmile,“youaretryingagaintoshowthatyouknowallmygame,thatyouknowallIshallsaybeforehand,“hesaid,conscioushimselfthathewasnotweighinghiswordsasheought。“Youwanttofrightenme……oryouaresimplylaughingatme……“
Hestillstaredathimashesaidthisandagaintherewasalightofintensehatredinhiseyes。
“Youkeeplying,“hesaid。“Youknowperfectlywellthatthebestpolicyforthecriminalistotellthetruthasnearlyaspossible……toconcealaslittleaspossible。Idon\'tbelieveyou！”
“Whatawilypersonyouare！”Porfirytittered,“there\'snocatchingyou;you\'veaperfectmonomania。Soyoudon\'tbelieveme?Butstillyoudobelieveme,youbelieveaquarter;I\'llsoonmakeyoubelievethewhole,becauseIhaveasincerelikingforyouandgenuinelywishyougood。“
Raskolnikov\'slipstrembled。
“Yes,Ido,“wentonPorfiry,touchingRaskolnikov\'sarmgenially,“youmusttakecareofyourillness。Besides,yourmotherandsisterareherenow;youmustthinkofthem。Youmustsootheandcomfortthemandyoudonothingbutfrightenthem……“
“Whathasthattodowithyou?Howdoyouknowit?Whatconcernisitofyours?Youarekeepingwatchonmeandwanttoletmeknowit？”
“Goodheavens!Why,Ilearntitallfromyouyourself!Youdon\'tnoticethatinyourexcitementyoutellmeandotherseverything。FromRazumihin,too,Ilearntanumberofinterestingdetailsyesterday。
No,youinterruptedme,butImusttellyouthat,forallyourwit,yoursuspiciousnessmakesyoulosethecommon-senseviewofthings。Toreturntobell-ringing,forinstance。I,anexamininglawyer,havebetrayedapreciousthinglikethat,arealfact(foritisafactworthhaving),andyouseenothinginit!Why,ifIhadtheslightestsuspicionofyou,shouldIhaveactedlikethat?No,I
shouldfirsthavedisarmedyoursuspicionsandnotletyouseeI
knewofthatfact,shouldhavedivertedyourattentionandsuddenlyhavedealtyouaknock-downblow(yourexpression)saying：\'Andwhatwereyoudoing,sir,pray,attenornearlyelevenatthemurderedwoman\'sflatandwhydidyouringthebellandwhydidyouaskaboutblood?Andwhydidyouinvitetheporterstogowithyoutothepolicestation,tothelieutenant?\'That\'showIoughttohaveactedifIhadagrainofsuspicionofyou。Ioughttohavetakenyourevidenceindueform,searchedyourlodgingandperhapshavearrestedyou,too……soIhavenosuspicionofyou,sinceIhavenotdonethat!
Butyoucan\'tlookatitnormallyandyouseenothing,Isayagain。“
RaskolnikovstartedsothatPorfiryPetrovitchcouldnotfailtoperceiveit。
“Youarelyingallthewhile,“hecried,“Idon\'tknowyourobject,butyouarelying。YoudidnotspeaklikethatjustnowandIcannotbemistaken！”
“Iamlying？”Porfiryrepeated,apparentlyincensed,butpreservingagood-humouredandironicalface,asthoughhewerenotintheleastconcernedatRaskolnikov\'sopinionofhim。“Iamlying……
buthowdidItreatyoujustnow,I,theexamininglawyer?Promptingyouandgivingyoueverymeansforyourdefence;illness,Isaid,delirium,injury,melancholyandthepoliceofficersandalltherestofit?Ah!He-he-he!Though,indeed,allthosepsychologicalmeansofdefencearenotveryreliableandcutbothways：illness,delirium,Idon\'tremember-that\'sallright,butwhy,mygoodsir,inyourillnessandinyourdeliriumwereyouhauntedbyjustthosedelusionsandnotbyanyothers?Theremayhavebeenothers,eh?
He-he-he！”
Raskolnikovlookedhaughtilyandcontemptuouslyathim。
“Briefly,“hesaidloudlyandimperiously,risingtohisfeetandinsodoingpushingPorfirybackalittle,“briefly,Iwanttoknow,doyouacknowledgemeperfectlyfreefromsuspicionornot?Tellme,PorfiryPetrovitch,tellmeonceforallandmakehaste！”
“WhatabusinessI\'mhavingwithyou！”criedPorfirywithaperfectlygood-humoured,slyandcomposedface。“Andwhydoyouwanttoknow,whydoyouwanttoknowsomuch,sincetheyhaven\'tbeguntoworryyou?Why,youarelikeachildaskingformatches!Andwhyareyousouneasy?Whydoyouforceyourselfuponus,eh?He-he-he！”
“Irepeat,“Raskolnikovcriedfuriously,“thatIcan\'tputupwithit！”
“Withwhat?Uncertainty？”interruptedPorfiry。
“Don\'tjeeratme!Iwon\'thaveit!ItellyouIwon\'thaveit。I
can\'tandIwon\'t,doyouhear,doyouhear？”heshouted,bringinghisfistdownonthetableagain。
“Hush!Hush!They\'lloverhear!Iwarnyouseriously,takecareofyourself。Iamnotjoking,“Porfirywhispered,butthistimetherewasnotthelookofoldwomanishgood-natureandalarminhisface。Nowhewasperemptory,stern,frowningandforoncelayingasideallmystification。
Butthiswasonlyforaninstant。Raskolnikov,bewildered,suddenlyfellintoactualfrenzy,but,strangetosay,heagainobeyedthecommandtospeakquietly,thoughhewasinaperfectparoxysmoffury。
“Iwillnotallowmyselftobetortured,“hewhispered,instantlyrecognisingwithhatredthathecouldnothelpobeyingthecommandanddriventoevengreaterfurybythethought。“Arrestme,searchme,butkindlyactindueformanddon\'tplaywithme!Don\'tdare！”
“Don\'tworryabouttheform,“Porfiryinterruptedwiththesameslysmile,asitwere,gloatingwithenjoymentoverRaskolnikov。“I
invitedyoutoseemequiteinafriendlyway。“
“Idon\'twantyourfriendshipandIspitonit!Doyouhear?And,here,Itakemycapandgo。Whatwillyousaynowifyoumeantoarrestme？”
Hetookuphiscapandwenttothedoor。
“Andwon\'tyouseemylittlesurprise？”chuckledPorfiry,againtakinghimbythearmandstoppinghimatthedoor。
Heseemedtobecomemoreplayfulandgood-humouredwhichmaddenedRaskolnikov。
“Whatsurprise？”heasked,standingstillandlookingatPorfiryinalarm。
“Mylittlesurprise,it\'ssittingtherebehindthedoor,he-he-he!
(Hepointedtothelockeddoor。)Ilockedhiminthatheshouldnotescape。“
“Whatisit?Where?What?……“
Raskolnikovwalkedtothedoorandwouldhaveopenedit,butitwaslocked。
“It\'slocked,hereisthekey！”
Andhebroughtakeyoutofhispocket。
“Youarelying,“roaredRaskolnikovwithoutrestraint,“youlie,youdamnedpunchinello！”andherushedatPorfirywhoretreatedtotheotherdoor,notatallalarmed。
“Iunderstanditall!YouarelyingandmockingsothatImaybetraymyselftoyou……“
“Why,youcouldnotbetrayyourselfanyfurther,mydearRodionRomanovitch。Youareinapassion。Don\'tshout,Ishallcalltheclerks。“
“Youarelying!Calltheclerks!YouknewIwasillandtriedtoworkmeintoafrenzytomakemebetraymyself,thatwasyourobject!Produceyourfacts!Iunderstanditall。You\'venoevidence,youhaveonlywretchedrubbishlysuspicionslikeZametov\'s!Youknewmycharacter,youwantedtodrivemetofuryandthentoknockmedownwithpriestsanddeputies……Areyouwaitingforthem?eh!Whatareyouwaitingfor?Wherearethey?Producethem？”
“Whydeputies,mygoodman?Whatthingspeoplewillimagine!Andtodosowouldnotbeactinginformasyousay,youdon\'tknowthebusiness,mydearfellow……Andthere\'snoescapingform,asyousee,“Porfirymuttered,listeningatthedoorthroughwhichanoisecouldbeheard。
“Ah,they\'recoming,“criedRaskolnikov。“You\'vesentforthem!
Youexpectedthem!Well,producethemall：yourdeputies,yourwitnesses,whatyoulike!……Iamready！”
Butatthismomentastrangeincidentoccurred,somethingsounexpectedthatneitherRaskolnikovnorPorfiryPetrovitchcouldhavelookedforsuchaconclusiontotheirinterview。
ChapterSixWHENHErememberedthesceneafterwards,thisishowRaskolnikovsawit。
Thenoisebehindthedoorincreased,andsuddenlythedoorwasopenedalittle。
“Whatisit？”criedPorfiryPetrovitch,annoyed。“Why,Igaveorders……“
Foraninstanttherewasnoanswer,butitwasevidentthattherewereseveralpersonsatthedoor,andthattheywereapparentlypushingsomebodyback。
“Whatisit？”PorfiryPetrovitchrepeated,uneasily。
“TheprisonerNikolayhasbeenbrought,“someoneanswered。
“Heisnotwanted!Takehimaway!Lethimwait!What\'shedoinghere?Howirregular！”criedPorfiry,rushingtothedoor。
“Buthe……“beganthesamevoice,andsuddenlyceased。
