AfterthisreplyChichikovinvoluntarilythrewaglanceatSobakevitch；andthoughthatlandowner\'sfacewasasmotionlessasevery，theotherseemedtodetectinit：“Youliar！Don\'ttellME
thatyouownbothariverandalake，aswellasthelandwhichyousayyoudo。“
Whilsttheforegoingconversationhadbeeninprogress，variouswitnesseshadbeenarrivingonthescene。TheyconsistedoftheconstantlyblinkingPublicProsecutor，theInspectoroftheMedicalDepartment，andothers——all，toquoteSobakevitch，“menwhocumberedthegroundfornothing。“Withsomeofthem，however，Chichikovwasaltogetherunacquainted，sincecertainsubstitutesandsupernumerarieshadtobepressedintotheservicefromamongtheranksofthesubordinatestaff。Therealsoarrived，inanswertothesummons，notonlythesonofFatherCyrilbeforementioned，butalsoFatherCyrilhimself。Eachsuchwitnessappendedtohissignatureafulllistofhisdignitiesandqualifications：onemaninprintedcharacters，anotherinaflowinghand，athirdintopsy-turvycharactersofakindneverbeforeseenintheRussianalphabet，andsoforth。MeanwhileourfriendIvanAntonovitchcomportedhimselfwithnotalittleaddress；
andaftertheindentureshadbeensigned，docketed，andregistered，ChichikovfoundhimselfcalledupontopayonlythemeresttrifleinthewayofGovernmentpercentageandfeesforpublishingthetransactionintheOfficialGazette。ThereasonofthiswasthatthePresidenthadgivenordersthatonlyhalftheusualchargesweretobeexactedfromthepresentpurchaser——theremaininghalfbeingsomehowdebitedtotheaccountofanotherapplicantforserfregistration。
“Andnow，“saidIvanGrigorievitchwhenallwascompleted，“weneedonlytowetthebargain。“
“ForthattooIamready，“saidChichikov。“Doyoubutnamethehour。
If，inreturnforyourmostagreeablecompany，Iwerenottosetafewchampagnecorksflying，Ishouldbeindeedindefault。“
“Butwearenotgoingtoletyouchargeyourselfwithanythingwhatsoever。WEmustprovidethechampagne，foryouareourguest，anditisforus——itisourduty，itisourboundenobligation——toentertainyou。Lookhere，gentlemen。LetusadjourntothehouseoftheChiefofPolice。Heisthemagicianwhoneedsbuttowinkwhenpassingafishmonger\'sorawinemerchant\'s。Notonlyshallwefarewellathisplace，butalsoweshallgetagameofwhist。“
Tothisproposalnoonehadanyobjectiontooffer，forthemerementionofthefishshoparousedthewitnesses\'appetite。
Consequently，theceremonybeingover，therewasageneralreachingforhatsandcaps。Asthepartywerepassingthroughthegeneraloffice，IvanAntonovitchwhisperedinChichikov\'sear，withacourteousinclinationofhisjug-shapedphysiognomy：
“Youhavegivenahundredthousandroublesfortheserfs，buthavepaidMEonlyatrifleformytrouble。“
“Yes，“repliedChichikovwithasimilarwhisper，“butwhatsortofserfsdoyousupposethemtobe？Theyareapoor，uselesslot，andnotworthevenhalfthepurchasemoney。“
ThisgaveIvanAntonovitchtounderstandthatthevisitorwasamanofstrongcharacter——amanfromwhomnothingmorewastobeexpected。
“WhyhaveyougoneandpurchasedsoulsfromPlushkin？”whisperedSobakevitchinChichikov\'sotherear。
“WhydidYOUgoandaddthewomanVorobeitoyourlist？”retortedChichikov。
“Vorobei？WhoisVorobei？”
“Thewoman\'Elizabet\'Vorobei——\'Elizabet，\'not\'Elizabeta？\'“
“Iaddednosuchname，“repliedSobakevitch，andstraightwayjoinedtheotherguests。
AtlengththepartyarrivedattheresidenceoftheChiefofPolice。
Thelatterprovedindeedamanofspells，fornosoonerhadhelearntwhatwasafootthanhesummonedabriskyoungconstable，whisperedinhisear，addinglaconically，“Youunderstand，doyounot？”andbroughtitaboutthat，duringthetimethattheguestswerecuttingforpartnersatwhistinanadjoiningroom，thedining-tablebecameladenwithsturgeon，caviare，salmon，herrings，cheese，smokedtongue，freshroe，andapottedvarietyofthesame——allprocuredfromthelocalfishmarket，andreinforcedwithadditionsfromthehost\'sownkitchen。ThefactwasthattheworthyChiefofPolicefilledtheofficeofasortoffatherandgeneralbenefactortothetown，andthathemovedamongthecitizensasthoughtheyconstitutedpartandparcelofhisownfamily，andwatchedovertheirshopsandmarketsasthoughthoseestablishmentsweremerelyhisownprivatelarder。
Indeed，itwouldbedifficulttosay——sothoroughlydidheperformhisdutiesinthisrespect——whetherthepostmostfittedhim，orhethepost。Matterswerealsosoarrangedthatthoughhisincomemorethandoubledthatofhispredecessors，hehadneverlosttheaffectionofhisfellowtownsmen。Inparticulardidthetradesmenlovehim，sincehewasneverabovestandinggodfathertotheirchildrenordiningattheirtables。True，hehaddifferencesofopinionwiththem，andseriousdifferencesatthat；butalwaysthesewereskilfullyadjustedbyhisslappingtheoffendedonesjoviallyontheshoulder，drinkingaglassofteawiththem，promisingtocallattheirhousesandplayagameofchess，askingaftertheirbelongings，and，shouldhelearnthatachildoftheirswasill，prescribingthepropermedicine。Inshort，heborethereputationofbeingaverygoodfellow。
Onperceivingthefeasttobeready，thehostproposedthathisguestsshouldfinishtheirwhistafterluncheon；whereuponallproceededtotheroomwhenceforsometimepastanagreeableodourhadbeenticklingthenostrilsofthosepresent，andtowardsthedoorofwhichSobakevitchinparticularhadbeenglancingsincethemomentwhenhehadcaughtsightofahugesturgeonreposingonthesideboard。Afteraglassfulofwarm，olive-colouredvodkaapiece——vodkaofthetinttobeseenonlyinthespeciesofSiberianstonewhereofsealsarecut——thecompanyappliedthemselvestoknife-and-forkwork，and，insodoing，evincedtheirseveralcharacteristicsandtastes。Forinstance，Sobakevitch，disdaininglessertrifles，tackledthelargesturgeon，and，duringthetimethathisfellowguestswereeatingminorcomestibles，anddrinkingandtalking，contrivedtoconsumemorethanaquarterofthewholefish；sothat，onthehostrememberingthecreature，and，withforkinhand，leadingthewayinitsdirectionandsaying，“What，gentlemen，thinkyouofthisstrikingproductofnature？”thereensuedthediscoverythatofthesaidproductofnaturethereremainedlittlebeyondthetail，whileSobakevitch，withanairasthoughatleastHEhadnoteatenit，wasengagedinplunginghisforkintoamuchmorediminutivepieceoffishwhichhappenedtoberestingonanadjacentplatter。Afterhisdivorcefromthesturgeon，Sobakevitchateanddranknomore，butsatfrowningandblinkinginanarmchair。
Apparentlythehostwasnotamanwhobelievedinsparingthewine，forthetoastsdrunkwereinnumerable。Thefirsttoast(asthereadermayguess)wasquaffedtothehealthofthenewlandownerofKherson；
thesecondtotheprosperityofhispeasantsandtheirsafetransferment；andthethirdtothebeautyofhisfuturewife——acomplimentwhichbroughttoourhero\'slipsaflickeringsmile。
Lastly，hereceivedfromthecompanyapressing，aswellasanunanimous，invitationtoextendhisstayintownforatleastanotherfortnight，and，inthemeanwhile，toallowawifetobefoundforhim。
“Quiteso，“agreedthePresident。“Fightustoothandnailthoughyoumay，weintendtohaveyoumarried。Youhavehappeneduponusbychance，andyoushallhavenoreasontorepentofit。Weareinearnestonthissubject。“
“ButwhyshouldIfightyoutoothandnail？”saidChichikov，smiling。
“Marriagewouldnotcomeamisstome，wereIbutprovidedwithabetrothed。“
“Thenabetrothedyoushallhave。Whynot？Wewilldoasyouwish。“
“Verywell，“assentedChichikov。
“Bravo，bravo！”thecompanyshouted。“LonglivePaulIvanovitch！
Hurrah！Hurrah！”Andwiththateveryoneapproachedtoclinkglasseswithhim，andhereadilyacceptedthecompliment，andaccepteditmanytimesinsuccession。Indeed，asthehourspassedon，thehilarityofthecompanyincreasedyetfurther，andmorethanoncethePresident(amanofgreaturbanitywhenthoroughlyinhiscups)embracedthechiefguestofthedaywiththeheartfeltwords，“Mydearestfellow！Myownmostpreciousoffriends！”Nay，heevenstartedtocrackhisfingers，todancearoundChichikov\'schair，andtosingsnatchesofapopularsong。TothechampagnesucceededHungarianwine，whichhadtheeffectofstillfurtherhearteningandenliveningthecompany。Bythistimeeveryonehadforgottenaboutwhist，andgivenhimselfuptoshoutinganddisputing。Everyconceivablesubjectwasdiscussed，includingpoliticsandmilitaryaffairs；andinthisconnectionguestsvoicedjejuneopinionsfortheexpressionofwhichtheywould，atanyothertime，havesoundlyspankedtheiroffspring。Chichikov，liketherest，hadneverbeforefeltsogay，and，imagininghimselfreallyandtrulytobealandownerofKherson，spokeofvariousimprovementsinagriculture，ofthethree-fieldsystemoftillage[5]，andofthebeatificfelicityofaunionbetweentwokindredsouls。Also，hestartedtorecitepoetrytoSobakevitch，whoblinkedashelistened，forhegreatlydesiredtogotosleep。Atlengththeguestoftheeveningrealisedthatmattershadgonefarenough，sobeggedtobegivenalifthome，andwasaccommodatedwiththePublicProsecutor\'sdrozhki。Luckilythedriverofthevehiclewasapractisedmanathiswork，for，whiledrivingwithonehand，hesucceededinleaningbackwardsand，withtheother，holdingChichikovsecurelyinhisplace。Arrivedattheinn，ourherocontinuedbabblingawhileaboutaflaxen-haireddamselwithrosylipsandadimpleinherrightcheek，aboutvillagesofhisinKherson，andabouttheamountofhiscapital。
Nay，heevenissuedseignorialinstructionsthatSelifanshouldgoandmusterthepeasantsabouttobetransferred，andmakeacompleteanddetailedinventoryofthem。ForawhileSelifanlistenedinsilence；
thenhelefttheroom，andinstructedPetrushkatohelpthebarintoundress。Asithappened，Chichikov\'sbootshadnosoonerbeenremovedthanhemanagedtoperformtherestofhistoiletwithoutassistance，torollontothebed(whichcreakedterriblyashedidso)，andtosinkintoasleepineverywayworthyofalandownerofKherson。
MeanwhilePetrushkahadtakenhismaster\'scoatandtrousersofbilberry-colouredcheckintothecorridor；where，spreadingthemoveraclothes\'horse，hestartedtoflickandtobrushthem，andtofillthewholecorridorwithdust。Justashewasabouttoreplacetheminhismaster\'sroomhehappenedtoglanceovertherailingofthegallery，andsawSelifanreturningfromthestable。Glanceswereexchanged，andinaninstantthepairhadarrivedataninstinctiveunderstanding——anunderstandingtotheeffectthatthebarinwassoundasleep，andthatthereforeonemightconsiderone\'sownpleasurealittle。AccordinglyPetrushkaproceededtorestorethecoatandtrouserstotheirappointedplaces，andthendescendedthestairs；
whereafterheandSelifanleftthehousetogether。Notawordpassedbetweenthemastotheobjectoftheirexpedition。Onthecontrary，theytalkedsolelyofextraneoussubjects。Yettheirwalkdidnottakethemfar；ittookthemonlytotheothersideofthestreet，andthenceintoanestablishmentwhichimmediatelyconfrontedtheinn。
Enteringamean，dirtycourtyardcoveredwithglass，theypassedthenceintoacellarwhereanumberofcustomerswereseatedaroundsmallwoodentables。WhatthereafterwasdonebySelifanandPetrushkaGodaloneknows。Atallevents，withinanhour\'stimetheyissued，arminarm，andinprofoundsilence，yetremainingmarkedlyassiduoustooneanother，andeverreadytohelponeanotheraroundanawkwardcorner。Stilllinkedtogether——neveroncereleasingtheirmutualhold——theyspentthenextquarterofanhourinattemptingtonegotiatethestairsoftheinn；butatlengtheventhatascenthadbeenmastered，andtheyproceededfurtherontheirway。Haltingbeforehismeanlittlepallet，Petrushkastoodawhileinthought。Hisdifficultywashowbesttoassumearecumbentposition。Eventuallyhelaydownonhisface，withhislegstrailingoverthefloor；afterwhichSelifanalsostretchedhimselfuponthepallet，withhisheadrestinguponPetrushka\'sstomach，andhismindwhollyobliviousofthefactthatheoughtnottohavebeensleepingthereatall，butintheservant\'squarters，orinthestablebesidehishorses。Scarcelyamomenthadpassedbeforethepairwereplungedinslumberandemittingthemostraucoussnores；towhichtheirmaster(nextdoor)respondedwithsnoresofawhistlingandnasalorder。Indeed，beforelongeveryoneintheinnhadfollowedtheirsoothingexample，andthehostelrylayplungedincompleterestfulness。Onlyinthewindowoftheroomofthenewly-arrivedlieutenantfromRiazandidalightremainburning。
Evidentlyhewasadevoteeofboots，forhehadpurchasedfourpairs，andwasnowtryingonafifth。Severaltimesheapproachedthebedwithaviewtotakingoffthebootsandretiringtorest；buteachtimehefailed，forthereasonthatthebootsweresoalluringintheirmakethathehadnochoicebuttoliftupfirstonefoot，andthentheother，forthepurposeofscanningtheirelegantwelts。
[5]Thesystembywhich，inannualrotation，two-thirdsofagivenareaarecultivated，whiletheremainingthirdisleftfallow。
CHAPTERVIII
ItwasnotlongbeforeChichikov\'spurchaseshadbecomethetalkofthetown；andvariousweretheopinionsexpressedastowhetherornotitwasexpedienttoprocurepeasantsfortransferment。Indeedsuchwastheinteresttakenbycertaincitizensinthematterthattheyadvisedthepurchasertoprovidehimselfandhisconvoywithanescort，inordertoensuretheirsafearrivalattheappointeddestination；butthoughChichikovthankedthedonorsofthisadviceforthesame，anddeclaredthatheshouldbeveryglad，incaseofneed，toavailhimselfofit，hedeclaredalsothattherewasnorealneedforanescort，seeingthatthepeasantswhomhehadpurchasedwereexceptionallypeace-lovingfolk，andthat，beingthemselvesconsentingpartiestothetransferment，theywouldundoubtedlyproveineverywaytractable。
Oneparticularlygoodresultofthisadvertisementofhisschemewasthathecametorankasneithermorenorlessthanamillionaire。
Consequently，muchastheinhabitantshadlikedourherointhefirstinstance(asseeninChapterI。)，theynowlikedhimmorethanever。
Asamatteroffact，theywerecitizensofanexceptionallyquiet，good-natured，easy-goingdisposition；andsomeofthemwereevenwell-educated。Forinstance，thePresidentoftheLocalCouncilcouldrecitethewholeofZhukovski\'sLUDMILLAbyheart，andgivesuchanimpressiverenderingofthepassage“Thepineforestwasasleepandthevalleyatrest“(aswellasoftheexclamation“Phew！”)thatonefelt，ashedidso，thatthepineforestandthevalleyreallyWERE
ashedescribedthem。Theeffectwasalsofurtherheightenedbythemannerinwhich，atsuchmoments，heassumedthemostportentousfrown。Forhispart，thePostmasterwentinmoreforphilosophy，anddiligentlyperusedsuchworksasYoung\'sNightThoughts，andEckharthausen\'sAKeytotheMysteriesofNature；ofwhichlatterworkhewouldmakecopiousextracts，thoughnoonehadtheslightestnotionwhattheyreferredto。Fortherest，hewasawitty，floridlittleindividual，andmuchaddictedtoapracticeofwhathecalled“embellishing“whatsoeverhehadtosay——afeatwhichheperformedwiththeaidofsuchby-the-wayphrasesas“mydearsir，““mygoodSo-and-So，““youknow，““youunderstand，““youmayimagine，“
“relativelyspeaking，““forinstance，“and“etcetera“；ofwhichphraseshewouldaddsackfulstohisspeech。Hecouldalso“embellish“
hiswordsbythesimpleexpedientofhalf-closing，half-winkingoneeye；whichtrickcommunicatedtosomeofhissatiricalutterancesquiteamordanteffect。Norwerehiscolleaguesawitinferiortohiminenlightenment。Forinstance，oneofthemmadearegularpracticeofreadingKaramzin，anotherofconningtheMoscowGazette，andathirdofneverlookingatabookatall。Likewise，althoughtheywerethesortofmentowhom，intheirmoreintimatemovements，theirwiveswouldverynaturallyaddresssuchnicknamesas“TobyJug，““Marmot，“
“Fatty，““PotBelly，““Smutty，““Kiki，“and“Buzz-Buzz，“theyweremenalsoofgoodheart，andveryreadytoextendtheirhospitalityandtheirfriendshipwhenonceaguesthadeatenoftheirbreadandsalt，orspentaneveningintheircompany。Particularly，therefore，didChichikovearnthesegoodfolk\'sapprovalwithhistakingmethodsandqualities——somuchsothattheexpressionofthatapprovalbidfairtomakeitdifficultforhimtoquitthetown，seeingthat，whereverhewent，theonephrasedinnedintohisearswas“Stayanotherweekwithus，PaulIvanovitch。“Inshort，heceasedtobeafreeagent。Butincomparablymorestrikingwastheimpression(amatterforunboundedsurprise！)whichheproducedupontheladies。ProperlytoexplainthisphenomenonIshouldneedtosayagreatdealabouttheladiesthemselves，andtodescribeinthemostvividofcolourstheirsocialintercourseandspiritualqualities。Yetthiswouldbeadifficultthingformetodo，since，ontheonehand，IshouldbehamperedbymyboundlessrespectforthewomenfolkofallCivilServiceofficials，and，ontheotherhand——well，simplybytheinnatearduousnessofthetask。TheladiesofN。were——Butno，Icannotdoit；myhearthasalreadyfailedme。Come，come！TheladiesofN。weredistinguishedfor——Butitisofnouse；somehowmypenseemstorefusetomoveoverthepaper——itseemstobeweightedaswithaplummetoflead。Verywell。Thatbeingso，IwillmerelysayawordortwoconcerningthemostprominenttintsonthefemininepaletteofN——merelyawordortwoconcerningtheoutwardappearanceofitsladies，andawordortwoconcerningtheirmoresuperficialcharacteristics。TheladiesofN。
werepre-eminentlywhatisknownas“presentable。“Indeed，inthatrespecttheymighthaveservedasamodeltotheladiesofmanyanothertown。Thatistosay，inwhateverpertainedto“tone，“
etiquette，theintricaciesofdecorum，andstrictobservanceoftheprevailingmode，theysurpassedeventheladiesofMoscowandSt。
Petersburg，seeingthattheydressedwithtaste，droveaboutincarriagesinthelatestfashions，andneverwentoutwithouttheescortofafootmaningold-lacedlivery。Again，theylookeduponavisitingcard——evenuponamake-shiftaffairconsistingofanaceofdiamondsoratwoofclubs——asasacredthing；sosacredthatononeoccasiontwocloselyrelatedladieswhohadalsobeencloselyattachedfriendswereknowntofalloutwithoneanotheroverthemerefactofanomissiontoreturnasocialcall！Yes，inspiteofthebesteffortsofhusbandsandkinsfolktoreconciletheantagonists，itbecameclearthat，thoughallelseintheworldmightconceivablybepossible，nevercouldthehatchetbeburiedbetweenladieswhohadquarrelledoveraneglectedvisit。Likewisestrenuousscenesusedtotakeplaceoverquestionsofprecedence——scenesofakindwhichhadtheeffectofinspiringhusbandstogreatandknightlyideasonthesubjectofprotectingthefair。True，neverdidaduelactuallytakeplace，sinceallthehusbandswereofficialsbelongingtotheCivilService；butatleastagivencombatantwouldstrivetoheapcontumelyuponhisrival，and，asweallknow，thatisaresourcewhichmayproveevenmoreeffectualthanaduel。Asregardsmorality，theladiesofN。werenothingifnotcensorious，andwouldatoncebefiredwithvirtuousindignationwhentheyheardofacaseofviceorseduction。Nay，eventomerefrailtytheywouldawardthelashwithoutmercy。Ontheotherhand，shouldanyinstanceofwhattheycalled“thirdpersonism“occuramongTHEIROWNcircle，itwasalwayskeptdark——notahintofwhatwasgoingonbeingallowedtotranspire，andeventhewrongedhusbandholdinghimselfready，shouldhemeetwith，orhearof，the“thirdperson，“toquote，inamildandrationalmanner，theproverb，“Whomconcernsitthatafriendshouldconsortwithfriend？”Inaddition，I
maysaythat，likemostofthefemaleworldofSt。Petersburg，theladiesofN。werepre-eminentlycarefulandrefinedintheirchoiceofwordsandphrases。Neverdidaladysay，“Iblewmynose，“or“I
perspired，“or“Ispat。“No，ithadtobe，“Irelievedmynosethroughtheexpedientofwipingitwithmyhandkerchief，“andsoforth。Again，tosay，“Thisglass，orthisplate，smellsbadly，“wasforbidden。No，notevenahinttosuchaneffectwastobedropped。Rather，theproperphrase，insuchacase，was“Thisglass，orthisplate，isnotbehavingverywell，“——orsomesuchformula。
Infact，torefinetheRussiantonguethemorethoroughly，somethinglikehalfthewordsinitwerecutout：whichcircumstancenecessitatedveryfrequentrecoursetothetongueofFrance，sincethesamewords，ifspokeninFrench，wereanothermatteraltogether，andonecoulduseevenblunteronesthantheonesoriginallyobjectedto。
SomuchfortheladiesofN。，providedthatoneconfinesone\'sobservationstothesurface；yethardlyneeditbesaidthat，shouldonepenetratedeeperthanthat，agreatdealmorewouldcometolight。
Atthesametime，itisneveraverysafeproceedingtopeerdeeplyintotheheartsofladies；wherefore，restrictingourselvestotheforegoingsuperficialities，letusproceedfurtheronourway。
HithertotheladieshadpaidChichikovnoparticularattention，thoughgivinghimfullcreditforhisgentlemanlyandurbanedemeanour；butfromthemomentthattherearoserumoursofhisbeingamillionaireotherqualitiesofhisbegantobecanvassed。Nevertheless，notALL
theladiesweregovernedbyinterestedmotives，sinceitisduetotheterm“millionaire“ratherthantothecharacterofthepersonwhobearsit，thatthemeresoundofthewordexercisesuponrascals，upondecentfolk，anduponfolkwhoareneithertheonenortheother，anundeniableinfluence。Amillionairesuffersfromthedisadvantageofeverywherehavingtobeholdmeanness，includingthesortofmeannesswhich，thoughnotactuallybaseduponcalculationsofself-interest，yetrunsafterthewealthymanwithsmiles，anddoffshishat，andbegsforinvitationstohouseswherethemillionaireisknowntobegoingtodine。ThatasimilarinclinationtomeannessseizedupontheladiesofN。goeswithoutsaying；withtheresultthatmanyadrawing-roomhearditwhisperedthat，ifChichikovwasnotexactlyabeauty，atleasthewassufficientlygood-lookingtoserveforahusband，thoughhecouldhavebornetohavebeenalittlemorerotundandstout。Tothattherewouldbeaddedscornfulreferencestoleanhusbands，andhintsthattheyresembledtooth-brushesratherthanmen——withmanyotherfeminineadditions。Also，suchcrowdsoffeminineshoppersbegantorepairtotheBazaarasalmosttoconstituteacrush，andsomethinglikeaprocessionofcarriagesensued，solonggrewtherankofvehicles。Fortheirpart，thetradesmenhadthejoyofseeinghighlypriceddressmaterialswhichtheyhadbroughtatfairs，andthenbeenunabletodisposeof，nowsuddenlybecometradeable，andgooffwitharush。Forinstance，ononeoccasionaladyappearedatMassinabustlewhichfilledthechurchtoanextentwhichledthevergerondutytobidthecommonerfolkwithdrawtotheporch，lestthelady\'stoiletshouldbesoiledinthecrush。EvenChichikovcouldnothelpprivatelyremarkingtheattentionwhichhearoused。Ononeoccasion，whenhereturnedtotheinn，hefoundonhistableanoteaddressedtohimself。Whenceithadcome，andwhohaddeliveredit，hefailedtodiscover，forthewaiterdeclaredthatthepersonwhohadbroughtithadomittedtoleavethenameofthewriter。
Beginningabruptlywiththewords“IMUSTwritetoyou，“theletterwentontosaythatbetweenacertainpairofsoulsthereexistedabondofsympathy；andthisveritytheepistlefurtherconfirmedwithrowsoffullstopstotheextentofnearlyhalfapage。NexttherefollowedafewreflectionsofacorrectitudesoremarkablethatIhavenochoicebuttoquotethem。“What，Iwouldask，isthislifeofours？”inquiredthewriter。“\'Tisnoughtbutavaleofwoe。Andwhat，Iwouldask，istheworld？\'Tisnoughtbutamobofunthinkinghumanity。“Thereafter，incidentallyremarkingthatshehadjustdroppedateartothememoryofherdearmother，whohaddepartedthislifetwenty-fiveyearsago，the(presumably)ladywriterinvitedChichikovtocomeforthintothewilds，andtoleaveforeverthecitywhere，pennedinnoisomehaunts，folkcouldnotevendrawtheirbreath。Inconclusion，thewritergavewaytounconcealeddespair，andwoundupwiththefollowingverses：
“Twoturtledovestothee，oneday，Mydustwillshow，congealedindeath；
And，cooingwearily，they\'llsay：
\'Ingriefandlonelinessshedrewherclosingbreath。\'“
True，thelastlinedidnotscan，butthatwasatrifle，sincethequatrainatleastconformedtothemodethenprevalent。Neithersignaturenordatewereappendedtothedocument，butonlyapostscriptexpressingaconjecturethatChichikov\'sownheartwouldtellhimwhothewriterwas，andstating，inaddition，thatthesaidwriterwouldbepresentattheGovernor\'sballonthefollowingnight。
ThisgreatlyinterestedChichikov。Indeed，therewassomuchthatwasalluringandprovocativeofcuriosityintheanonymousmissivethathereaditthroughasecondtime，andthenathird，andfinallysaidtohimself：“ISHOULDliketoknowwhosentit！”Inshort，hetookthethingseriously，andspentoveranhourinconsideringthesame。Atlength，mutteringacommentupontheepistle\'sefflorescentstyle，herefoldedthedocument，andcommittedittohisdispatch-boxincompanywithaplay-billandaninvitationtoawedding——thelatterofwhichhadforthelastsevenyearsreposedintheself-samereceptacleandintheself-sameposition。ShortlyafterwardstherearrivedacardofinvitationtotheGovernor\'sballalreadyreferredto。Inpassing，itmaybesaidthatsuchfestivitiesarenotinfrequentphenomenaincountytowns，forthereasonthatwhereGovernorsexisttheremusttakeplaceballsiffromthelocalgentrythereistobeevokedthatrespectfulaffectionwhichiseveryGovernor\'sdue。
Thenceforthallextraneousthoughtsandconsiderationswerelaidasideinfavourofpreparingforthecomingfunction。Indeed，thisconjunctionofexcitingandprovocativemotivesledtoChichikovdevotingtohistoiletanamountoftimeneverwitnessedsincethecreationoftheworld。Merelyinthecontemplationofhisfeaturesinthemirror，ashetriedtocommunicatetothemasuccessionofvaryingexpressions，wasanhourspent。Firstofallhestrovetomakehisfeaturesassumeanairofdignityandimportance，andthenanairofhumble，butfaintlysatirical，respect，andthenanairofrespectguiltlessofanyalloywhatsoever。Next，hepractisedperformingaseriesofbowstohisreflection，accompaniedwithcertainmurmursintendedtobeararesemblancetoaFrenchphrase(thoughChichikovknewnotasinglewordoftheGallictongue)。LastlycametheperformingofaseriesofwhatImightcall“agreeablesurprises，“intheshapeoftwitchingsofthebrowandlipsandcertainmotionsofthetongue。Inshort，hedidallthatamanisapttodowhenheisnotonlyalone，butalsocertainthatheishandsomeandthatnooneisregardinghimthroughachink。Finallyhetappedhimselflightlyonthechin，andsaid，“Ah，goodoldface！”Inthesameway，whenhestartedtodresshimselffortheceremony，thelevelofhishighspiritsremainedunimpairedthroughouttheprocess。Thatistosay，whileadjustinghisbracesandtyinghistie，heshuffledhisfeetinwhatwasnotexactlyadance，butmightbecalledtheentr\'acteofadance：whichperformancehadthenotveryseriousresultofsettingawardrobea-rattle，andcausingabrushtoslidefromthetabletothefloor。
Later，hisentryintotheballroomproducedanextraordinaryeffect。
Everyonepresentcameforwardtomeethim，somewithcardsintheirhands，andonemanevenbreakingoffaconversationatthemostinterestingpoint——namely，thepointthat“theInferiorLandCourtmustbemaderesponsibleforeverything。“Yes，inspiteoftheresponsibilityoftheInferiorLandCourt，thespeakercastallthoughtsofittothewindsashehurriedtogreetourhero。Fromeverysideresoundedacclamationsofwelcome，andChichikovfelthimselfengulfedinaseaofembraces。Thus，scarcelyhadheextricatedhimselffromthearmsofthePresidentoftheLocalCouncilwhenhefoundhimselfjustasfirmlyclaspedinthearmsoftheChiefofPolice，who，inturn，surrenderedhimtotheInspectoroftheMedicalDepartment，who，inturn，handedhimovertotheCommissionerofTaxes，who，again，committedhimtothechargeoftheTownArchitect。EventheGovernor，whohithertohadbeenstandingamonghiswomenfolkwithaboxofsweetsinonehandandalap-dogintheother，nowthrewdownbothsweetsandlap-dog(thelap-doggivingventtoayelpashedidso)andaddedhisgreetingtothoseoftherestofthecompany。Indeed，notafacewastheretobeseenonwhichecstaticdelight——or，atallevents，thereflectionofotherpeople\'secstaticdelight——wasnotpainted。Thesameexpressionmaybediscernedonthefacesofsubordinateofficialswhen，thenewlyarrivedDirectorhavingmadehisinspection，thesaidofficialsarebeginningtogetovertheirfirstsenseofaweonperceivingthathehasfoundmuchtocommend，andthathecanevengosofarastojestandutterafewwordsofsmilingapproval。Thereuponeverytchinovnikrespondswithasmileofdoublestrength，andthosewho(itmaybe)havenotheardasinglewordoftheDirector\'sspeechsmileoutofsympathywiththerest，andeventhegendarmewhoispostedatthedistantdoor——aman，perhaps，whohasneverbeforecompassedasmile，butismoreaccustomedtodealingoutblowstothepopulace——summonsupakindofgrin，eventhoughthegrinresemblesthegrimaceofamanwhoisabouttosneezeafterinadvertentlytakinganover-largepinchofsnuff。ToallandsundryChichikovrespondedwithabow，andfeltextraordinarilyathiseaseashedidso。Torightandleftdidheinclinehisheadinthesidelong，yetunconstrained，mannerthatwashiswontandneverfailedtocharmthebeholder。Asfortheladies，theyclusteredaroundhiminashiningbevythatwasredolentofeveryspeciesofperfume——ofroses，ofspringviolets，andofmignonette；somuchsothatinstinctivelyChichikovraisedhisnosetosnufftheair。
Likewisetheladies\'dressesdisplayedanendlessprofusionoftasteandvariety；andthoughthemajorityoftheirwearersevincedatendencytoembonpoint，thosewearersknewhowtocalluponartfortheconcealmentofthefact。Confrontingthem，Chichikovthoughttohimself：“Whichofthesebeautiesisthewriteroftheletter？”Thenagainhesnuffedtheair。Whentheladieshad，toacertainextent，returnedtotheirseats，heresumedhisattemptstodiscern(fromglancesandexpressions)whichofthemcouldpossiblybetheunknownauthoress。Yet，thoughthoseglancesandexpressionsweretoosubtle，tooinsufficientlyopen，thedifficultyinnowaydiminishedhishighspirits。Easilyandgracefullydidheexchangeagreeablebandinagewithonelady，andthenapproachanotheronewiththeshort，mincingstepsusuallyaffectedbyyoung-olddandieswhoareflutteringaroundthefair。Asheturned，notwithoutdexterity，torightandleft，hekeptonelegslightlydraggingbehindtheother，likeashorttailorcomma。Thistricktheladiesparticularlyadmired。Inshort，theynotonlydiscoveredinhimahostofrecommendationsandattractions，butalsobegantoseeinhisfaceasortofgrand，Mars-like，militaryexpression——athingwhich，asweknow，neverfailstopleasethefeminineeye。Certainoftheladieseventooktobickeringoverhim，and，onperceivingthathespentmostofhistimestandingnearthedoor，someoftheirnumberhastenedtooccupychairsnearertohispostofvantage。Infact，whenacertaindamechancedtohavethegoodfortunetoanticipateahatedrivalintheracethereverynearlyensuedamostlamentablescene——which，tomanyofthosewhohadbeendesirousofdoingexactlythesamething，seemedapeculiarlyhorribleinstanceofbrazen-facedaudacity。
SodeeplydidChichikovbecomeplungedinconversationwithhisfairpursuers——orrather，sodeeplydidthosefairpursuersenmeshhiminthetoilsofsmalltalk(whichtheyaccomplishedthroughtheexpedientofaskinghimendlesssubtleriddleswhichbroughtthesweattohisbrowinhisattemptstoguessthem)——thatheforgottheclaimsofcourtesywhichrequiredhimfirstofalltogreethishostess。Infact，herememberedthoseclaimsonlyonhearingtheGovernor\'swifeherselfaddressinghim。Shehadbeenstandingbeforehimforseveralminutes，andnowgreetedhimwithsuaveexpressementandthewords，“SoHEREyouare，PaulIvanovitch！”ButwhatshesaidnextIamnotinapositiontoreport，forshespokeintheultra-refinedtoneandveinwhereinladiesandgentlemencustomarilyexpressthemselvesinhigh-classnovelswhichhavebeenwrittenbyexpertsmorequalifiedthanIamtodescribesalons，andabletoboastofsomeacquaintancewithgoodsociety。Ineffect，whattheGovernor\'swifesaidwasthatshehoped——shegreatlyhoped——thatMonsieurChichikov\'sheartstillcontainedacorner——eventhesmallestpossiblecorner——forthosewhomhehadsocruellyforgotten。UponthatChichikovturnedtoher，andwasonthepointofreturningareplyatleastnoworsethanthatwhichwouldhavebeenreturned，undersimilarcircumstances，bytheheroofafashionablenovelette，whenhestoppedshort，asthoughthunderstruck。
BeforehimtherewasstandingnotonlyMadame，butalsoayounggirlwhomshewasholdingbythehand。Thegoldenhair，thefine-drawn，delicatecontours，thefacewithitsbewitchingoval——afacewhichmighthaveservedasamodelforthecountenanceoftheMadonna，sinceitwasofatyperarelytobemetwithinRussia，wherenearlyeverything，fromplainstohumanfeet，is，rather，onthegiganticscale；thesefeatures，Isay，werethoseoftheidenticalmaidenwhomChichikovhadencounteredontheroadwhenhehadbeenfleeingfromNozdrev\'s。Hisemotionwassuchthathecouldnotformulateasingleintelligiblesyllable；hecouldmerelymurmurthedevilonlyknowswhat，thoughcertainlynothingofthekindwhichwouldhaverisentothelipsoftheheroofafashionablenovel。
“Ithinkthatyouhavenotmetmydaughterbefore？”saidMadame。“Sheisjustfreshfromschool。“
HerepliedthatheHADhadthehappinessofmeetingMademoisellebefore，andunderratherunexpectedcircumstances；butonhistryingtosaysomethingfurtherhistonguecompletelyfailedhim。TheGovernor\'swifeaddedawordortwo，andthencarriedoffherdaughtertospeaktosomeoftheotherguests。
Chichikovstoodrootedtothespot，likeamanwho，afterissuingintothestreetforapleasantwalk，hassuddenlycometoahaltonrememberingthatsomethinghasbeenleftbehindhim。Inamoment，ashestrugglestorecallwhatthatsomethingis，themienofcarelessexpectancydisappearsfromhisface，andhenolongerseesasinglepersonorasingleobjectinhisvicinity。InthesamewaydidChichikovsuddenlybecomeoblivioustothescenearoundhim。Yetallthewhilethemelodioustonguesofladieswereplyinghimwithmultitudinoushintsandquestions——hintsandquestionsinspiredwithadesiretocaptivate。“Mightwepoorcumberersofthegroundmakesoboldastoaskyouwhatyouarethinkingof？”“Praytelluswhereliethehappyregionsinwhichyourthoughtsarewandering？”“Mightwebeinformedofthenameofherwhohasplungedyouintothissweetabandonmentofmeditation？”——suchwerethephrasesthrownathim。Buttoeverythingheturnedadeadear，andthephrasesinquestionmightaswellhavebeenstonesdroppedintoapool。Indeed，hisrudenesssoonreachedthepitchofhiswalkingawayaltogether，inorderthathemightgoandreconnoitrewithertheGovernor\'swifeanddaughterhadretreated。Buttheladieswerenotgoingtolethimoffsoeasily。
Everyoneofthemhadmadeuphermindtouseuponhimhereveryweapon，andtoexhibitwhatsoevermightchancetoconstituteherbestpoint。Yettheladies\'wilesproveduseless，forChichikovpaidnotthesmallestattentiontothem，evenwhenthedancinghadbegun，butkeptraisinghimselfontiptoetopeeroverpeople\'sheadsandascertaininwhichdirectionthebewitchingmaidenwiththegoldenhairhadgone。Also，whenseated，hecontinuedtopeepbetweenhisneighbours\'backsandshoulders，untilatlasthediscoveredhersittingbesidehermother，whowaswearingasortofOrientalturbanandfeather。Uponthatonewouldhavethoughtthathispurposewastocarrythepositionbystorm；for，whethermovedbytheinfluenceofspring，orwhethermovedbyapushfrombehind，hepressedforwardwithsuchdesperateresolutionthathiselbowcausedtheCommissionerofTaxestostaggeronhisfeet，andwouldhavecausedhimtolosehisbalancealtogetherbutforthesupportingrowofguestsintherear。
LikewisethePostmasterwasmadetogiveground；whereuponheturnedandeyedChichikovwithmingledastonishmentandsubtleirony。ButChichikovneverevennoticedhim；hesawinthedistanceonlythegolden-hairedbeauty。Atthatmomentshewasdrawingonalonggloveand，doubtless，piningtobeflyingoverthedancing-floor，where，withclickingheels，fourcoupleshadnowbeguntothreadthemazesofthemazurka。Inparticularwasamilitarystaff-captainworkingbodyandsoulandarmsandlegstocompasssuchaseriesofstepsaswereneverbeforeperformed，eveninadream。However，Chichikovslippedpastthemazurkadancers，and，almosttreadingontheirheels，madehiswaytowardsthespotwhereMadameandherdaughterwereseated。
Yetheapproachedthemwithgreatdiffidenceandnoneofhislatemincingandprancing。Nay，heevenfalteredashewalked；hiseverymovementhadaboutitanairofawkwardness。
Itisdifficulttosaywhetherornotthefeelingwhichhadawakenedinourhero\'sbreastwasthefeelingoflove；foritisproblematicalwhetherornotmenwhoareneitherstoutnorthinarecapableofanysuchsentiment。Nevertheless，somethingstrange，somethingwhichhecouldnotaltogetherexplain，hadcomeuponhim。Itseemedasthoughtheball，withitstalkanditsclatter，hadsuddenlybecomeathingremote——thattheorchestrahadwithdrawnbehindahill，andthescenegrownmisty，likethecarelesslypainted-inbackgroundofapicture。
Andfromthatmistyvoidtherecouldbeseenglimmeringonlythedelicateoutlinesofthebewitchingmaiden。Somehowherexquisiteshaperemindedhimofanivorytoy，insuchfair，white，transparentreliefdiditstandoutagainstthedullblurofthesurroundingthrong。
Hereinweseeaphenomenonnotinfrequentlyobserved——thephenomenonoftheChichikovsofthisworldbecomingtemporarilypoets。Atallevents，foramomentortwoourChichikovfeltthathewasayoungmanagain，ifnotexactlyamilitaryofficer。Onperceivinganemptychairbesidethemotheranddaughter，hehastenedtooccupyit，andthoughconversationatfirsthungfire，thingsgraduallyimproved，andheacquiredmoreconfidence。
AtthispointImustreluctantlydeviatetosaythatmenofweightandhighofficearealwaysatrifleponderouswhenconversingwithladies。
Younglieutenants——or，atallevents，officersnotabovetherankofcaptain——arefarmoresuccessfulatthegame。HowtheycontrivetobesoGodonlyknows。Letthembutmakethemostinaneofremarks，andatoncethemaidenbytheirsidewillberockingwithlaughter；whereas，shouldaStateCouncillorenterintoconversationwithadamsel，andremarkthattheRussianEmpireisoneofvastextent，orutteracomplimentwhichhehaselaboratednotwithoutacertainmeasureofintelligence(howeverstronglythesaidcomplimentmaysmackofabook)，ofasuretythethingwillfallflat。Evenawitticismfromhimwillbelaughedatfarmorebyhimhimselfthanitwillbytheladywhomayhappentobelisteningtohisremarks。
ThesecommentsIhaveinterposedforthepurposeofexplainingtothereaderwhy，asourheroconversed，themaidenbegantoyawn。Blindtothis，however，hecontinuedtorelatetohersundryadventureswhichhadbefallenhimindifferentpartsoftheworld。Meanwhile(asneedhardlybesaid)therestoftheladieshadtakenumbrageathisbehaviour。Oneofthempurposelystalkedpasthimtointimatetohimthefact，aswellastojostletheGovernor\'sdaughter，andlettheflyingendofascarfflickherface；whilefromaladyseatedbehindthepaircamebothawhiffofvioletsandaveryvenomousandsarcasticremark。Nevertheless，eitherhedidnotheartheremarkorhePRETENDEDnottohearit。Thiswasunwiseofhim，sinceitneverdoestodisregardladies\'opinions。Later-buttoolate——hewasdestinedtolearnthistohiscost。
Inshort，dissatisfactionbegantodisplayitselfoneveryfeminineface。NomatterhowhighChichikovmightstandinsociety，andnomatterhowmuchhemightbeamillionaireandincludeinhisexpressionofcountenanceanindefinableelementofgrandnessandmartialardour，therearecertainthingswhichnoladywillpardon，whosoeverbethepersonconcerned。WeknowthatatGovernor\'sballsitiscustomaryfortheonlookerstocomposeversesattheexpenseofthedancers；andinthiscasetheversesweredirectedtoChichikov\'saddress。Briefly，theprevailingdissatisfactiongrewuntilatacitedictofproscriptionhadbeenissuedagainstbothhimandthepooryoungmaiden。
Butanevenmoreunpleasantsurprisewasinstoreforourhero；forwhilsttheyoungladywasstillyawningasChichikovrecountedtohercertainofhispastadventuresandalsotouchedlightlyuponthesubjectofGreekphilosophy，thereappearedfromanadjoiningroomthefigureofNozdrev。Whetherhehadcomefromthebuffet，orwhetherhehadissuedfromalittlegreenretreatwhereagamemorestrenuousthanwhisthadbeeninprogress，orwhetherhehadleftthelatterresortunaided，orwhetherhehadbeenexpelledtherefrom，isunknown；
butatalleventswhenheenteredtheballroom，hewasinanelevatedcondition，andleadingbythearmthePublicProsecutor，whomheseemedtohavebeendraggingaboutforalongwhilepast，seeingthatthepoormanwasglancingfromsidetosideasthoughseekingameansofputtinganendtothispersonallyconductedtour。Certainlyhemusthavefoundthesituationalmostunbearable，inviewofthefactthat，afterderivinginspirationfromtwoglassesofteanotwhollyundilutedwithrum，Nozdrevwasengagedinlyingunmercifully。Onsightinghiminthedistance，Chichikovatoncedecidedtosacrificehimself。Thatistosay，hedecidedtovacatehispresentenviablepositionandmakeoffwithallpossiblespeed，sincehecouldseethatanencounterwiththenewcomerwoulddohimnogood。UnfortunatelyatthatmomenttheGovernorbuttonholedhimwitharequestthathewouldcomeandactasarbiterbetweenhim(theGovernor)andtwoladies——thesubjectofdisputebeingthequestionastowhetherornotwoman\'sloveislasting。SimultaneouslyNozdrevdescriedourheroandboredownuponhim。
“Ah，myfinelandownerofKherson！”hecriedwithasmilewhichsethisfresh，spring-rose-pinkcheeksa-quiver。“Haveyoubeendoingmuchtradeindepartedsoulslately？”WiththatheturnedtotheGovernor。
“IsupposeyourExcellencyknowsthatthismantrafficsindeadpeasants？”hebawled。“Lookhere，Chichikov。Itellyouinthemostfriendlywaypossiblethateveryoneherelikesyou——yes，includingeventheGovernor。Nevertheless，hadImyway，Iwouldhangyou！Yes，byGodIwould！”
Chichikov\'sdiscomfiturewascomplete。
“And，wouldyoubelieveit，yourExcellency，“wentonNozdrev，“butthisfellowactuallysaidtome，\'Sellmeyourdeadsouls！\'Why，I
laughedtillInearlybecameasdeadasthesouls。And，behold，nosoonerdoIarriveherethanIamtoldthathehasboughtthreemillionroubles\'worthofpeasantsfortransferment！Fortransferment，indeed！AndhewantedtobargainwithmeformyDEADones！Lookhere，Chichikov。Youareaswine！Yes，byGod，youareanutterswine！
Isnotthatso，yourExcellency？Isnotthatso，friendProkurator[1]？”
[1]PublicProsecutor。
ButbothhisExcellency，thePublicProsecutor，andChichikovweretootakenabacktoreply。Thehalf-tipsyNozdrev，withoutnoticingthem，continuedhisharangueasbefore。
“Ah，myfinesir！”hecried。“THIStimeIdon\'tmeantoletyougo。
No，notuntilIhavelearntwhatallthispurchasingofdeadpeasantsmeans。Lookhere。Yououghttobeashamedofyourself。Yes，_I_saythat——_I_whoamoneofyourbestfriends。“HereheturnedtotheGovernoragain。“YourExcellency，“hecontinued，“youwouldneverbelievewhatinseperablesthismanandIhavebeen。Indeed，ifyouhadstoodthereandsaidtome，\'Nozdrev，tellmeonyourhonourwhichofthetwoyoulovebest——yourfatherorChichikov？\'Ishouldhavereplied，\'Chichikov，byGod！\'“Withthathetackledourheroagain，“Come，come，myfriend！”heurged。“Letmeimprintuponyourcheeksabaiserortwo。YouwillexcusemeifIkisshim，willyounot，yourExcellency？No，donotresistme，Chichikov，butallowmetoimprintatleastonebaiseruponyourlily-whitecheek。“AndinhiseffortstoforceuponChichikovwhathetermedhis“baisers“hecameneartomeasuringhislengthuponthefloor。
Everyonenowedgedaway，andturnedadeafeartohisfurtherbabblings；buthiswordsonthesubjectofthepurchaseofdeadsoulshadnonethelessbeenutteredatthetopofhisvoice，andbeenaccompaniedwithsuchuproariouslaughterthatthecuriosityevenofthosewhohadhappenedtobesittingorstandingintheremotercornersoftheroomhadbeenaroused。Sostrangeandnovelseemedtheideathatthecompanystoodwithfacesexpressiveofnothingbutadumb，dullwonder。Onlysomeoftheladies(asChichikovdidnotfailtoremark)exchangedmeaning，ill-naturedwinksandaseriesofsarcasticsmiles：whichcircumstancestillfurtherincreasedhisconfusion。ThatNozdrevwasanotoriousliareveryone，ofcourse，knew，andthatheshouldhavegivenventtoanidioticoutburstofthissorthadsurprisednoone；butadeadsoul——well，whatwasonetomakeofNozdrev\'sreferencetosuchacommodity？
Naturallythisunseemlycontretempshadgreatlyupsetourhero；for，howeverfoolishbeamadman\'swords，theymayyetprovesufficienttosowdoubtinthemindsofsanerindividuals。Hefeltmuchasdoesamanwho，shodwithwell-polishedboots，hasjuststeppedintoadirty，stinkingpuddle。Hetriedtoputawayfromhimtheoccurrence，andtoexpand，andtoenjoyhimselfoncemore。Nay，heeventookahandatwhist。Butallwasofnoavail——matterskeptgoingasawryasabadly-benthoop。Twiceheblunderedinhisplay，andthePresidentoftheCouncilwasatalosstounderstandhowhisfriend，PaulIvanovitch，latelysogoodandsocircumspectaplayer，couldperpetratesuchamauvaispasastothrowawayaparticularkingofspadeswhichthePresidenthasbeen“trusting“as(toquotehisownexpression)“hewouldhavetrustedGod。“Atsupper，too，mattersfeltuncomfortable，eventhoughthesocietyatChichikov\'stablewasexceedinglyagreeableandNozdrevhadbeenremoved，owingtothefactthattheladieshadfoundhisconducttooscandaloustobeborne，nowthatthedelinquenthadtakentoseatinghimselfonthefloorandpluckingattheskirtsofpassingladydancers。AsIsay，therefore，Chichikovfoundthesituationnotalittleawkward，andeventuallyputanendtoitbyleavingthesupperroombeforethemealwasover，andlongbeforethehourwhenusuallyhereturnedtotheinn。
Inhislittleroom，withitsdoorofcommunicationblockedwithawardrobe，hisframeofmindremainedasuncomfortableasthechairinwhichhewasseated。Hisheartachedwithadull，unpleasantsensation，withasortofoppressiveemptiness。
“Thedeviltakethosewhofirstinventedballs！”washisreflection。
“Whoderivesanyrealpleasurefromthem？Inthisprovincethereexistwantandscarcityeverywhere：yetfolkgoinforballs！Howabsurd，too，werethoseoverdressedwomen！Oneofthemmusthavehadathousandroublesonherback，andallacquiredattheexpenseoftheovertaxedpeasant，or，worsestill，atthatoftheconscienceofherneighbour。Yes，weallknowwhybribesareaccepted，andwhymenbecomecrookedinsoul。Itisalldonetoprovidewives——yes，maythepitswallowthemup！——withfal-lals。Andforwhatpurpose？Thatsomewomanmaynothavetoreproachherhusbandwiththefactthat，say，thePostmaster\'swifeiswearingabetterdressthansheis——adresswhichhascostathousandroubles！\'Ballsandgaiety，ballsandgaiety\'istheconstantcry。Yetwhatfollyballsare！TheydonotconsortwiththeRussianspiritandgenius，andthedevilonlyknowswhywehavethem。Agrown，middle-agedman——amandressedinblack，andlookingasstiffasapoker——suddenlytakesthefloorandbeginsshufflinghisfeetabout，whileanotherman，eventhoughconversingwithacompaniononimportantbusiness，will，thewhile，keepcaperingtorightandleftlikeabilly-goat！Mimicry，sheermimicry！ThefactthattheFrenchmanisatfortypreciselywhathewasatfifteenleadsustoimaginethatwetoo，forsooth，oughttobethesame。No；aballleavesonefeelingthatonehasdoneawrongthing——somuchsothatonedoesnotcareeventothinkofit。Italsoleavesone\'sheadperfectlyempty，evenasdoestheexertionoftalkingtoamanoftheworld。Amanofthatkindchattersaway，andtoucheslightlyuponeveryconceivablesubject，andtalksinsmooth，fluentphraseswhichhehasculledfrombookswithoutgrazingtheirsubstance；whereasgoandhaveachatwithatradesmanwhoknowsatleastONEthingthoroughly，andthroughthemediumofexperience，andseewhetherhisconversationwillnotbeworthmorethantheprattleofathousandchatterboxes。Forwhatgooddoesonegetoutofballs？Supposethatacompetentwriterweretodescribesuchasceneexactlyasitstands？
Why，eveninabookitwouldseemsenseless，evenasitcertainlyisinlife。Are，therefore，suchfunctionsrightorwrong？Onewouldanswerthatthedevilaloneknows，andthenspitandclosethebook。“
SuchweretheunfavourablecommentswhichChichikovpasseduponballsingeneral。Withitall，however，therewentasecondsourceofdissatisfaction。Thatistosay，hisprincipalgrudgewasnotsomuchagainstballsasagainstthefactthatatthisparticularonehehadbeenexposed，hehadbeenmadetodisclosethecircumstancethathehadbeenplayingastrange，anambiguouspart。Ofcourse，whenhereviewedthecontretempsinthelightofpurereason，hecouldnotbutseethatitmatterednothing，andthatafewrudewordswereofnoaccountnowthatthechiefpointhadbeenattained；yetmanisanoddcreature，andChichikovactuallyfeltpainedbythecould-shoulderingadministeredtohimbypersonsforwhomhehadnotanatomofrespect，andwhosevanityandloveofdisplayhehadonlythatmomentbeencensuring。Stillmore，onviewingthematterclearly，hefeltvexedtothinkthathehimselfhadbeensolargelythecauseofthecatastrophe。
YethewasnotangrywithHIMSELF——ofthatyoumaybesure，seeingthatallofushaveaslightweaknessforsparingourownfaults，andalwaysdoourbesttofindsomefellow-creatureuponwhomtoventourdispleasure——whetherthatfellow-creaturebeaservant，asubordinateofficial，orawife。InthesamewayChichikovsoughtascapegoatuponwhoseshouldershecouldlaytheblameforallthathadannoyedhim。
HefoundoneinNozdrev，andyoumaybesurethatthescapegoatinquestionreceivedagooddrubbingfromeveryside，evenasanexperiencedcaptainorchiefofpolicewillgiveaknavishstarostaorpostboyaratingnotonlyinthetermsbecomeclassical，butalsoinsuchtermsasthesaidcaptainorchiefofpolicemayinventforhimself。Inshort，Nozdrev\'swholelineagewaspassedinreview；andmanyofitsmembersintheascendinglinefaredbadlyintheprocess。
Meanwhile，attheotherendofthetowntherewasinprogressaneventwhichwasdestinedtoaugmentstillfurthertheunpleasantnessofourhero\'sposition。Thatistosay，throughtheoutlyingstreetsandalleysofthetowntherewasclatteringavehicletowhichitwouldbedifficultpreciselytoassignaname，seeingthat，thoughitwasofaspeciespeculiartoitself，itmostnearlyresembledalarge，ricketywatermelononwheels。Eventuallythismonstrositydrewupatthegatesofahousewherethearchpriestofoneofthechurchesresided，andfromitsdoorsthereleaptadamselcladinajerkinandwearingascarfoverherhead。Forawhileshethumpedthegatessovigorouslyastosetallthedogsbarking；thenthegatesstifflyopened，andadmittedthisunwieldyphenomenonoftheroad。Lastly，thebariniaherselfalighted，andstoodrevealedasMadameKorobotchka，widowofaCollegiateSecretary！ThereasonofhersuddenarrivalwasthatshehadfeltsouneasyaboutthepossibleoutcomeofChichikov\'swhim，thatduringthethreenightsfollowinghisdepartureshehadbeenunabletosleepawink；whereafter，inspiteofthefactthatherhorseswerenotshod，shehadsetoffforthetown，inordertolearnatfirsthandhowthedeadsoulswerefaring，andwhether(whichmightGodforfend！)shehadnotsoldthematsomethinglikeathirdoftheirtruevalue。Theconsequencesofherventurethereaderwilllearnfromaconversationbetweentwoladies。Wewillreserveitfortheensuingchapter。
CHAPTERIX
Nextmorning，beforetheusualhourforpayingcalls，theretrippedfromtheportalsofanorange-colouredwoodenhousewithanatticstoreyandarowofbluepillarsaladyinanelegantplaidcloak。
Withhercameafootmaninamany-capedgreatcoatandapolishedtophatwithagoldband。Hastily，butgracefully，theladyascendedthestepsletdownfromakoliaskawhichwasstandingbeforetheentrance，andassoonasshehaddonesothefootmanshutherin，putupthestepsagain，and，catchingholdofthestrapbehindthevehicle，shoutedtothecoachman，“Rightaway！”Thereasonofallthiswasthattheladywasthepossessorofapieceofintelligencethatshewasburningtocommunicatetoafellow-creature。Everymomentshekeptlookingoutofthecarriagewindow，andperceiving，withalmostspeechlessvexation，that，asyet，shewasbuthalf-wayonherjourney。Thefrontsofthehousesappearedtoherlongerthanusual，andinparticulardidthefrontofthewhitestonehospital，withitsrowsofnarrowwindows，seeminterminabletoadegreewhichatlengthforcedhertoejaculate：“Oh，thecursedbuilding！Positivelythereisnoendtoit！”Also，shetwiceadjuredthecoachmanwiththewords，“Goquicker，Andrusha！Youareahorriblylongtimeoverthejourneythismorning。“Butatlengththegoalwasreached，andthekoliaskastoppedbeforeaone-storiedwoodenmansion，darkgreyincolour，andhavingwhitecarvingsoverthewindows，atallwoodenfenceandnarrowgardeninfrontofthelatter，andafewmeagretreesloomingwhitewithanincongruouscoatingofroaddust。Inthewindowsofthebuildingwerealsoafewflowerpotsandaparrotthatkeptalternatelydancingonthefloorofitscageandhangingontotheringofthesamewithitsbeak。Also，inthesunshinebeforethedoortwopetdogsweresleeping。Heretherelivedthelady\'sbosomfriend。
Assoonasthebosomfriendinquestionlearntofthenewcomer\'sarrival，sherandownintothehall，andthetwoladieskissedandembracedoneanother。Thentheyadjournedtothedrawing-room。
“HowgladIamtoseeyou！”saidthebosomfriend。“WhenIheardsomeonearrivingIwonderedwhocouldpossiblybecallingsoearly。
ParashadeclaredthatitmustbetheVice-Governor\'swife，so，asI
didnotwanttobeboredwithher，IgaveordersthatIwastobereported\'notathome。\'“
Forherpart，theguestwouldhavelikedtohaveproceededtobusinessbycommunicatinghertidings，butasuddenexclamationfromthehostessimparted(temporarily)anewdirectiontotheconversation。
“Whataprettychintz！”shecried，gazingattheother\'sgown。
“Yes，itISpretty，“agreedthevisitor。“Ontheotherhand，PraskoviaThedorovnathinksthat——“
Inotherwords，theladiesproceededtoindulgeinaconversationonthesubjectofdress；andonlyafterthishadlastedforaconsiderablewhiledidthevisitorletfallaremarkwhichledherentertainertoinquire：
“Andhowistheuniversalcharmer？”
“MyGod！”repliedtheother。“TherehasbeenSUCHabusiness！Infact，doyouknowwhyIamhereatall？”Andthevisitor\'sbreathingbecamemorehurried，andfurtherwordsseemedtobehoveringbetweenherlipslikehawkspreparingtostoopupontheirprey。Onlyapersonoftheunhumanityofa“truefriend“wouldhavehadthehearttointerrupther；butthehostesswasjustsuchafriend，andatonceinterposedwith：
“Iwonderhowanyonecanseeanythinginthemantopraiseortoadmire。Formyownpart，Ithink——andIwouldsaythesamethingstraighttohisface——thatheisaperfectrascal。“
“Yes，butdolistentowhatIhavegottotellyou。“
“Oh，Iknowthatsomepeoplethinkhimhandsome，“continuedthehostess，unmoved；“but_I_saythatheisnothingofthekind——that，inparticular，hisnoseisperfectlyodious。“
“Yes，butletmefinishwhatIwassaying。“Theguest\'stonewasalmostpiteousinitsappeal。
“Whatisit，then？”
“Youcannotimaginemystateofmind！Yousee，thismorningIreceivedavisitfromFatherCyril\'swife——theArchpriest\'swife——youknowher，don\'tyou？Well，whomdoyousupposethatfinegentlemanvisitorofourshasturnedouttobe？”
“ThemanwhohasbuilttheArchpriestapoultry-run？”
“Ohdearno！Hadthatbeenall，itwouldhavebeennothing。No。ListentowhatFatherCyril\'swifehadtotellme。Shesaidthat，lastnight，aladylandownernamedMadameKorobotchkaarrivedattheArchpriest\'shouse——arrivedallpaleandtrembling——andtoldher，oh，suchthings！
Theysoundlikeapieceoutofabook。Thatistosay，atdeadofnight，justwheneveryonehadretiredtorest，therecamethemostdreadfulknockingimaginable，andsomeonescreamedout，\'Openthegates，orwewillbreakthemdown！\'Justthink！Afterthis，howanyonecansaythatthemanischarmingIcannotimagine。“
“Well，whatofMadameKorobotchka？Issheayoungwomanorgoodlooking？”
“Ohdearno！Quiteanoldwoman。“
“Splendidindeed！Soheisactuallyengagedtoapersonlikethat？Onemayheartilycommendthetasteofourladiesforhavingfalleninlovewithhim！”
“Nevertheless，itisnotasyousuppose。Think，now！Armedwithweaponsfromheadtofoot，hecalleduponthisoldwoman，andsaid：
\'Sellmeanysoulsofyourswhichhavelatelydied。\'Ofcourse，MadameKorobotchkaanswered，reasonablyenough：\'Icannotsellyouthosesouls，seeingthattheyhavedepartedthisworld；\'buthereplied：
\'No，no！TheyareNOTdead。\'TisIwhotellyouthat——Iwhooughttoknowthetruthofthematter。Iswearthattheyarestillalive。\'Inshort，hemadesuchascenethatthewholevillagecamerunningtothehouse，andchildrenscreamed，andmenshouted，andnoonecouldtellwhatitwasallabout。Theaffairseemedtomesohorrible，soutterlyhorrible，thatItrembledbeyondbeliefasIlistenedtothestory。
\'Mydearestmadam，\'saidmymaid，Mashka，\'praylookatyourselfinthemirror，andseehowwhiteyouare。\'\'ButIhavenotimeforthat，\'
Ireplied，\'asImustbeofftotellmyfriend，AnnaGrigorievna，thenews。\'NordidIloseamomentinorderingthekoliaska。Yetwhenmycoachman，Andrusha，askedmefordirectionsIcouldnotgetawordout——Ijuststoodstaringathimlikeafool，untilIthoughthemustthinkmemad。Oh，AnnaGrigorievna，ifyoubutknewhowupsetIam！”
“Whatastrangeaffair！”commentedthehostess。“Whatonearthcanthemanhavemeantby\'deadsouls\'？Iconfessthatthewordspassmyunderstanding。Curiouslyenough，thisisthesecondtimeIhaveheardspeakofthosesouls。True，myhusbandaversthatNozdrevwaslying；
yetinhisliesthereseemstohavebeenagrainoftruth。“
“Well，justthinkofmystatewhenIheardallthis！\'Andnow，\'
apparentlysaidKorobotchkatotheArchpriest\'swife，\'Iamaltogetheratalosswhattodo，for，throwingmefifteenroubles，themanforcedmetosignaworthlesspaper——yes，me，aninexperienced，defencelesswidowwhoknowsnothingofbusiness。\'Thatsuchthingsshouldhappen！
TRYandimaginemyfeelings！”
“Inmyopinion，thereisinthismorethanthedeadsoulswhichmeettheeye。“
“Ithinksotoo，“agreedtheother。Asamatteroffact，herfriend\'sremarkhadstruckherwithcompletesurprise，aswellasfilledherwithcuriositytoknowwhattheword“more“mightpossiblysignify。Infact，shefeltdriventoinquire：“WhatdoYOUsupposetobehiddenbeneathitall？”
“No；tellmewhatYOUsuppose？”
“What_I_suppose？Iamatalosstoconjecture。“
“Yes，buttellmewhatisinyourmind？”
Uponthisthevisitorhadtoconfessherselfnonplussed；for，thoughcapableofgrowinghysterical，shewasincapableofpropoundinganyrationaltheory。Consequentlyshefeltthemorethatsheneededtendercomfortandadvice。
“ThenTHISiswhatIthinkaboutthedeadsouls，“saidthehostess。
Instantlytheguestprickedupherears(or，rather，theyprickedthemselvesup)andstraightenedherselfandbecame，somehow，moremodish，and，despitehernotinconsiderableweight，posedherselftolooklikeapieceofthistledownfloatingonthebreeze。
“Thedeadsouls，“beganthehostess。
“Arewhat，arewhat？”inquiredtheguestingreatexcitement。
“Are，are——“
“Tellme，tellme，forheaven\'ssake！”
“Theyareaninventiontoconcealsomethingelse。Theman\'srealobjectis，is——TOABDUCTTHEGOVERNOR\'SDAUGHTER。“
Sostartlingandunexpectedwasthisconclusionthattheguestsatreducedtoastateofpale，petrified，genuineamazement。
“MyGod！”shecried，clappingherhands，“IshouldNEVERhaveguessedit！”
“Well，totellyouthetruth，Iguesseditassoonaseveryouopenedyourmouth。“
“Somuch，then，foreducatinggirlsliketheGovernor\'sdaughteratschool！Justseewhatcomesofit！”
“Yes，indeed！AndtheytellmethatshesaysthingswhichIhesitateeventorepeat。“
“Trulyitwringsone\'shearttoseetowhatlengthsimmoralityhascome。“
“Someofthemenhavequitelosttheirheadsabouther，butformypartIthinkhernotworthnoticing。“
“Ofcourse。Andhermannersareunbearable。ButwhatpuzzlesmemostishowatravelledmanlikeChichikovcouldcometolethimselfinforsuchanaffair。Surelyhemusthaveaccomplices？”
“Yes；andIshouldsaythatoneofthoseaccomplicesisNozdrev。“
“Surelynot？”
“CERTAINLYIshouldsayso。Why，Ihaveknownhimeventrytosellhisownfather！Atalleventshestakedhimatcards。“
“Indeed？Youinterestme。Ishouldneverhadthoughthimcapableofsuchthings。“
“Ialwaysguessedhimtobeso。“
ThetwoladieswerestilldiscussingthematterwithacumenandsuccesswhentherewalkedintotheroomthePublicProsecutor——bushyeyebrows，motionlessfeatures，blinkingeyes，andall。Atoncetheladieshastenedtoinformhimoftheeventsrelated，adducingtherewithfulldetailsbothastothepurchaseofdeadsoulsandastotheschemetoabducttheGovernor\'sdaughter；afterwhichtheydepartedindifferentdirections，forthepurposeofraisingtherestofthetown。Fortheexecutionofthisundertakingnotmorethanhalfanhourwasrequired。Sothoroughlydidtheysucceedinthrowingdustinthepublic\'seyesthatforawhileeveryone——moreespeciallythearmyofpublicofficials——wasplacedinthepositionofaschoolboywho，whilestillasleep，hashadabagofpepperthrowninhisfacebyapartyofmoreearly-risingcomrades。Thequestionsnowtobedebatedresolvedthemselvesintotwo——namely，thequestionofthedeadsoulsandthequestionoftheGovernor\'sdaughter。Tothisendtwopartieswereformed——themen\'spartyandthefemininesection。Themen\'sparty——themoreabsolutelysenselessofthetwo——devoteditsattentiontothedeadsouls：thewomen\'spartyoccupieditselfexclusivelywiththeallegedabductionoftheGovernor\'sdaughter。Andhereitmaybesaid(totheladies\'credit)thatthewomen\'spartydisplayedfarmoremethodandcautionthandiditsrivalfaction，probablybecausethefunctioninlifeofitsmembershadalwaysbeenthatofmanagingandadministeringahousehold。Withtheladies，therefore，matterssoonassumedvividanddefiniteshape；theybecameclearlyandirrefutablymaterialised；theystoodstrippedofalldoubtandotherimpedimenta。
Saidsomeoftheladiesinquestion，Chichikovhadlongbeeninlovewiththemaiden，andthepairhadkepttrystbythelightofthemoon，whiletheGovernorwouldhavegivenhisconsent(seeingthatChichikovwasasrichasaJew)butfortheobstaclethatChichikovhaddesertedawifealready(howtheworthydamescametoknowthathewasmarriedremainsamystery)，andthesaiddesertedwife，piningwithloveforherfaithlesshusband，hadsenttheGovernoraletterofthemosttouchingkind，sothatChichikov，onperceivingthatthefatherandmotherwouldnevergivetheirconsent，haddecidedtoabductthegirl。
Inothercirclesthematterwasstatedinadifferentway。Thatistosay，thissectionaverredthatChichikovdidNOTpossessawife，butthat，asamanofsubtletyandexperience，hehadbethoughthimofobtainingthedaughter\'shandthroughtheexpedientoffirsttacklingthemotherandcarryingonwithheranardentliaison，andthat，thereafter，hehadmadeanapplicationforthedesiredhand，butthatthemother，fearingtocommitasinagainstreligion，andfeelinginherheartcertaingnawingsofconscience，hadreturnedablankrefusaltoChichikov\'srequest；whereuponChichikovhaddecidedtocarryouttheabductionalleged。Totheforegoing，ofcourse，therebecameappendedvariousadditionalproofsanditemsofevidence，inproportionasthesensationspreadtomoreremotecornersofthetown。
Atlength，withtheseperfectings，theaffairreachedtheearsoftheGovernor\'swifeherself。Naturally，asthemotherofafamily，andasthefirstladyinthetown，andasamatronwhohadneverbeforebeensuspectedofthingsofthekind，shewashighlyoffendedwhensheheardthestories，andveryjustlyso：withtheresultthatherpooryoungdaughter，thoughinnocent，hadtoendureaboutasunpleasantatete-a-teteaseverbefellamaidenofsixteen，while，forhispart，theSwissfootmanreceivedordersneveratanytimetoadmitChichikovtothehouse。
HavingdonetheirbusinesswiththeGovernor\'swife，theladies\'partydescendeduponthemalesection，withaviewtoinfluencingittotheirownsidebyassertingthatthedeadsoulswereaninventionusedsolelyforthepurposeofdivertingsuspicionandsuccessfullyaffectingtheabduction。And，indeed，morethanonemanwasconverted，andjoinedthefemininecamp，inspiteofthefactthattherebysuchsecedersincurredstrongnamesfromtheirlatecomrades——namessuchas“oldwomen，““petticoats，“andothersofanaturepeculiarlyoffensivetothemalesex。
