第8章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:25446更新时间:18/12/21 14:43:47
Theoldman\'seyessweptthehorizon,thenheturnedtogoin,withoutmakinganotherobservation。Alllightseemedextinguishedinhimagain。WhenEdwardwentinhefoundhisfatherwiththebureauopen,unfoldingtheleaseswithashakinghand,foldingthemupagainwithoutreadingthem,thenputtingthemintheirnicheonlytoremovethemagain。 Adelaidewasintheroom。ShesaidthoughtfullytoEdward,asshewatchedthefarmer—— \'Ihopeitwon\'tkillpooruncle,Edward。Whatshouldwedoifanythingweretohappentohim?HeistheonlynearrelativeyouandIhaveintheworld。\'Itwasperfectlytrue,andsomehowEdwardfeltmoreboundupwithherafterthatremark。 Shecontinued:\'Andhewasonlysayingsohopefullythedaybeforethefire,thathewouldn\'tfortheworldletanyoneelsegivemeawaytoyouwhenwearemarried。\' ForthefirsttimeaconscientiousdoubtaroseinEdward\'smindastothejusticeofthecoursehewaspursuinginresolvingtorefusethealternativeofferedbyMissAldclyffe。Coulditbeselfishnessaswellasindependence?Howmuchhehadthoughtofhisownheart,howlittlehehadthoughtofhisfather\'speaceofmind! Theoldmandidnotspeakagaintillsupper-time,whenhebeganaskinghissonanendlessnumberofhypotheticalquestionsonwhatmightinduceMissAldclyffetolistentokinderterms;speakingofhernownotasanunfairwoman,butasaLachesisorFatewhosecourseitbehovednobodytocondemn。InhisearnestnessheonceturnedhiseyesonEdward\'sface:theirexpressionwaswoful:thepupilsweredilatedandstrangeinaspect。 \'Ifshewillonlyagreetothat!\'hereiteratedforthehundredthtime,increasingthesadnessofhislisteners。 Anaristocraticknockingcametothedoor,andJaneenteredwithaletter,addressed—— \'MR。EDWARDSPRINGROVE,Junior。\' \'CharlesfromKnapwaterHousebroughtit,\'shesaid。 \'MissAldclyffe\'swriting,\'saidMr。Springrove,beforeEdwardhadrecognizedithimself。\'Now\'tisallright;she\'sgoingtomakeanoffer;shedoesn\'twantthehousesthere,notshe;theyaregoingtomakethatthewayintothepark。\' Edwardopenedthesealandglancedattheinside。Hesaid,withasupremeeffortofself-command—— \'ItisonlydirectedbyMissAldclyffe,andreferstonothingconnectedwiththefire。Iwonderathertakingthetroubletosenditto-night。\' Hisfatherlookedabsentlyathimandturnedawayagain。Shortlyafterwardstheyretiredforthenight。AloneinhisbedroomEdwardopenedandreadwhathehadnotdaredtorefertointheirpresence。 TheenvelopecontainedanotherenvelopeinCytherea\'shandwriting,addressedto\'——Manston,Esq。,OldManorHouse。\'Insidethiswasthenoteshehadwrittentothestewardafterherdetentioninhishousebythethunderstorm—— \'KNAPWATERHOUSE,September20th。 \'IfindIcannotmeetyouatseveno\'clockbythewaterfallasI promised。TheemotionIfeltmademeforgetfulofrealities。 \'C。GRAYE。\' MissAldclyffehadnotwrittenaline,and,bytheunvaryingruleobservablewhenwordsarenotanabsolutenecessity,hersilenceseemedtentimesasconvincingasanyexpressionofopinioncouldhavebeen。 Hethen,stepbystep,recalledalltheconversationonthesubjectofCytherea\'sfeelingsthathadpassedbetweenhimselfandMissAldclyffeintheafternoon,andbyaconfusionofthought,naturalenoughunderthetryingexperience,concludedthatbecausetheladywastruthfulinherportraitureofeffects,shemustnecessarilyberightinherassumptionofcauses。Thatis,hewasconvincedthatCytherea——thehitherto-believedfaithfulCytherea——had,atanyrate,lookedwithsomethingmorethanindifferenceupontheextremelyhandsomefaceandformofManston。 Didheblameher,asguiltyoftheimproprietyofallowingherselftolovethenewcomerinthefaceofhisnotbeingfreetoreturnherlove?No;neverforamomentdidhedoubtthatallhadoccurredinherold,innocent,impulsiveway;thatherheartwasgonebeforesheknewit——beforesheknewanything,beyondhisexistence,ofthemantowhomithadflown。Perhapstheverynoteenclosedtohimwastheresultoffirstreflection。Manstonhewouldunhesitatinglyhavecalledascoundrel,butforonestrikinglyredeemingfact。Ithadbeenpatenttothewholeparish,andhadcometoEdward\'sownknowledgebythatindirectchannel,thatManston,asamarriedman,conscientiouslyavoidedCythereaafterthosefirstfewdaysofhisarrivalduringwhichherirresistiblybeautifulandfatalglanceshadresteduponhim——hisuponher。 Takingfromhiscoatacreasedandpocket-wornenvelopecontainingCytherea\'slettertohimself,Springroveopeneditandreaditthrough。Hewasupbraidedtherein,andhewasdismissed。ItborethedateofthelettersenttoManston,andbycontainingwithinitthephrase,\'AllthedaylongIhavebeenthinking,\'affordedjustifiablegroundforassumingthatitwaswrittensubsequentlytotheother(andinEdward\'ssightfarsweeterone)tothesteward。 Butthoughheaccusedheroffickleness,hewouldnotdoubtthegenuineness,initskind,ofherpartialityforhimatBudmouth。Itwasashortandshallowfeeling——notperfectlove: \'LoveisnotloveWhichalterswhenitalterationfinds。\' Butitwasnotflirtation;afeelinghadbeenborninherandhaddied。Itwouldbewellforhispeaceofmindifhisloveforhercouldflitawaysosoftly,andleavesofewtracesbehind。 MissAldclyffehadshownherselfdesperatelyconcernedinthewholematterbythealacritywithwhichshehadobtainedtheletterfromManston,andherlabourstoinducehimselftomarryhiscousin。 Takeninconnectionwithherapparentinterestin,ifnotlovefor,Cytherea,hereagerness,too,couldonlybeaccountedforonthegroundthatCythereaindeedlovedthesteward。 5。DECEMBERTHEFOURTH Edwardpassedthenighthescarcelyknewhow,tossingfeverishlyfromsidetoside,thebloodthrobbinginhistemples,andsinginginhisears。 Beforethedaybegantobreakhedressedhimself。Ongoingoutuponthelandinghefoundhisfather\'sbedroomdooralreadyopen。Edwardconcludedthattheoldmanhadrisensoftly,aswashiswont,andgoneoutintothefieldstostartthelabourers。Butneitheroftheouterdoorswasunfastened。Heenteredthefrontroom,andfounditempty。Thenanimatedbyanewidea,hewentroundtothelittlebackparlour,inwhichthefewwreckssavedfromthefireweredeposited,andlookedinatthedoor。Here,nearthewindow,theshuttersofwhichhadbeenopenedhalfway,hesawhisfatherleaningonthebureau,hiselbowsrestingontheflap,hisbodynearlydoubled,hishandsclaspinghisforehead。Besidehimwereghostly-lookingsquarefoldsofparchment——theleasesofthehousesdestroyed。 HisfatherlookedupwhenEdwardentered,andwearilyspoketotheyoungmanashisfacecameintothefaintlight。 \'Edward,whydidyougetupsoearly?\' \'Iwasuneasy,andcouldnotsleep。\' Thefarmerturnedagaintotheleasesonthebureau,andseemedtobecomelostinreflection。Inaminuteortwo,withoutliftinghiseyes,hesaid—— \'Thisismorethanwecanbear,Ted——morethanwecanbear!Ted,thiswillkillme。Notthelossonly——thesenseofmyneglectabouttheinsuranceandeverything。BorrowIneverwill。\'Tisallmiserynow。Godhelpus——allmiserynow!\' Edwarddidnotanswer,continuingtolookfixedlyatthedrearydaylightoutside。 \'Ted,\'thefarmerwenton,\'thisupsetofbe-enburntouto\'homemakesmeverynervousanddoubtfulabouteverything。There\'sthistroublesmebesides——ourlivenherewithyourcousin,andfillenupherhouse。Itmustbeveryawkwardforher。Butshesaysshedoesn\'tmind。Haveyousaidanythingtoherlatelyaboutwhenyouaregoingtomarryher?\' \'Nothingatalllately。\' \'Well,perhapsyoumayaswell,nowwearesomixedintogether。 Youknow,notimehaseverbeenmentionedtoheratall,firstorlast,andIthinkitrightthatnow,sinceshehaswaitedsopatientlyandsolong——youarealmostcalledupontosayyouareready。Itwouldsimplifymattersverymuch,ifyouweretowalkuptochurchwi\'heroneofthesemornings,getthethingdone,andgoonlivenhereasweare。Ifyoudon\'tImustgetahouseallthesooner。Itwouldlightenmymind,too,aboutthetwolittlefreeholdsoverthehill——notamorsela-piece,dividedastheywerebetweenhermotherandme,butatidybittiedtogetheragain。Justthinkaboutit,willye,Ted?\' Hestoppedfromexhaustionproducedbytheintenseconcentrationofhisminduponthewearysubject,andlookedanxiouslyathisson。 \'Yes,Iwill,\'saidEdward。 \'ButIamgoingtoseeheroftheGreatHousethismorning,\'thefarmerwenton,histhoughtsrevertingtotheoldsubject。\'Imustknowtherightsofthematter,thewhenandthewhere。Idon\'tlikeseeingher,butI\'drathertalktoherthanthesteward。Iwonderwhatshe\'llsaytome。\' Theyoungermanknewexactlywhatshewouldsay。Ifhisfatheraskedherwhathewastodo,andwhen,shewouldsimplyreferhimtoManston:hercharacterwasnotthatofawomanwhoshrankfromapropositionshehadoncelaiddown。Ifhisfatherweretosaytoherthathissonhadatlastresolvedtomarryhiscousinwithintheyear,andhadgivenherapromisetothateffect,shewouldsay,\'Mr。Springrove,thehousesareburnt:we\'llletthemgo:troublenomoreaboutthem。\' Hismindwasalreadymadeup。Hesaidcalmly,\'Father,whenyouaretalkingtoMissAldclyffe,mentiontoherthatIhaveaskedAdelaideifsheiswillingtomarrymenextChristmas。SheisinterestedinmyunionwithAdelaide,andthenewswillbewelcometoher。\' \'Andyetshecanbeironwithreferencetomeandherproperty,\'thefarmermurmured。\'Verywell,Ted,I\'lltellher。\' 6。DECEMBERTHEFIFTH Ofthemanycontradictoryparticularsconstitutingawoman\'sheart,twohadshowntheirvigorouscontrastinCytherea\'sbosomjustatthistime。 Itwasadarkmorning,themorningafteroldMr。Springrove\'svisittoMissAldclyffe,whichhadterminatedasEdwardhadintended。 Havingrisenanhourearlierthanwasusualwithher,Cythereasatatthewindowofanelegantlittlesitting-roomonthegroundfloor,whichhadbeenappropriatedtoherbythekindnessorwhimofMissAldclyffe,thatshemightnotbedrivenintothatlady\'spresenceagainstherwill。Sheleantwithherfaceonherhand,lookingoutintothegloomygreyair。Ayellowglimmerfromtheflappingflameofthenewly-litfireflutteredononesideofherfaceandnecklikeabutterflyabouttosettlethere,contrastingwarmlywiththeothersideofthesamefairface,whichreceivedfromthewindowthefaintcoldmorninglight,soweakthathershadowfromthefirehadadistinctoutlineonthewindow-shutterinspiteofit。Theretheshadowdancedlikeademon,blueandgrim。 ThecontradictionalludedtowasthatinspiteofthedecisivemoodwhichtwomonthsearlierintheyearhadcausedhertowriteaperemptoryandfinallettertoEdward,shewasnowhopingforsomeanswerotherthantheonlypossibleoneamanwho,assheheld,didnotloveherwildly,couldsendtosuchacommunication。Foraloverwhodidlovewildly,shehadleftonelittleloopholeinherotherwisestraightforwardepistle。Whysheexpectedtheletteronsomemorningofthisparticularweekwas,thathearingofhisreturntoCarriford,shefondlyassumedthathemeanttoaskforaninterviewbeforeheleft。Henceitwas,too,thatforthelastfewdays,shehadnotbeenabletokeepinbedlaterthanthetimeofthepostman\'sarrival。 Theclockpointedtohalf-pastseven。Shesawthepostmanemergefrombeneaththebareboughsoftheparktrees,comethroughthewicket,divethroughtheshrubbery,reappearonthelawn,stalkacrossitwithoutreferencetopaths——ascountrypostmendo——andcometotheporch。Sheheardhimflingthebagdownontheseat,andturnawaytowardsthevillage,withouthinderinghimselfforasinglepace。 Thenthebutleropenedthedoor,tookupthebag,broughtitin,andcarrieditupthestaircasetoplaceitontheslabbyMissAldclyffe\'sdressing-roomdoor。Thewholeproceedinghadbeendepictedbysounds。 Shehadapresentimentthatherletterwasinthebagatlast。Shethoughtthenindiminishingpulsationsofconfidence,\'Heaskstoseeme!Perhapsheaskstoseeme:Ihopeheaskstoseeme。\' Aquartertoeight:MissAldclyffe\'sbell——ratherearlierthanusual。\'Shemusthaveheardthepost-bagbrought,\'saidthemaiden,as,tiredofthechillyprospectoutside,sheturnedtothefire,anddrewimaginativepicturesofherfuturetherein。 Atapcametothedoor,andthelady\'s-maidentered。 \'MissAldclyffeisawake,\'shesaid;\'andsheaskedifyouweremovingyet,miss。\' \'I\'llrunuptoher,\'saidCytherea,andflittedoffwiththeutteranceofthewords。\'Veryfortunatethis,\'shethought;\'I shallseewhatisinthebagthismorningallthesooner。\' Shetookitupfromthesidetable,wentintoMissAldclyffe\'sbedroom,pulleduptheblinds,andlookedroundupontheladyinbed,calculatingtheminutesthatmustelapsebeforeshelookedatherletters。 \'Well,darling,howareyou?Iamgladyouhavecomeintoseeme,\' saidMissAldclyffe。\'Youcanunlockthebagthismorning,child,ifyoulike,\'shecontinued,yawningfactitiously。 \'Strange!\'Cythereathought;\'itseemsasifsheknewtherewaslikelytobealetterforme。\' FromherbedMissAldclyffewatchedthegirl\'sfaceasshetremblinglyopenedthepost-bagandfoundthereanenvelopeaddressedtoherinEdward\'shandwriting;onehehadwrittenthedaybefore,afterthedecisionhehadcometoonanimpartial,andonthataccounttorturing,surveyofhisown,hisfather\'s,hiscousinAdelaide\'s,andwhathebelievedtobeCytherea\'s,position。 Thehaughtymistress\'ssoulsickenedremorsefullywithinherwhenshesawsuddenlyappearuponthespeakingcountenanceoftheyoungladybeforeherawandesolatelookofagony。 Themaster-sentencesofEdward\'sletterwerethese:\'Youspeaktruly。Thatwenevermeetagainisthewisestandonlypropercourse。ThatIregretthepastasmuchasyoudoyourself,itishardlynecessaryformetosay。\' XII。THEEVENTSOFTENMONTHS 1。DECEMBERTOAPRIL Weekafterweek,monthaftermonth,thetimehadflownby。 Christmashadpassed;drearywinterwithdarkeveningshadgivenplacetomoredrearywinterwithlightevenings。Thawshadendedinrain,raininwind,windindust。Showerydayshadcome——theperiodofpinkdawnsandwhitesunsets;withthethirdweekinAprilthecuckoohadappeared,withthefourth,thenightingale。 EdwardSpringrovewasinLondon,attendingtothedutiesofhisnewoffice,andithadbecomeknownthroughouttheneighbourhoodofCarrifordthattheengagementbetweenhimselfandMissAdelaideHintonwouldterminateinmarriageattheendoftheyear。 TheonlyoccasiononwhichherloveroftheidledeliciousdaysatBudmouthwatering-placehadbeenseenbyCythereaafterthetimeofthedecisivecorrespondence,wasonceinchurch,whenhesatinfrontofher,andbesideMissHinton。 Therencounterwasquiteanaccident。SpringrovehadcomethereinthefullbeliefthatCythereawasawayfromhomewithMissAldclyffe;andhecontinuedignorantofherpresencethroughouttheservice。 Itisatsuchmomentsasthese,whenasensitivenaturewrithesundertheconceptionthatitsmostcherishedemotionshavebeentreatedwithcontumely,thatthesphere-descendedMaid,Music,friendofPleasureatothertimes,becomesapositiveenemy—— racking,bewildering,unrelenting。ThecongregationsangthefirstPsalmandcametotheverse—— \'Likesomefairtreewhich,fedbystreams,Withtimelyfruitdothbend,Hestillshallflourish,andsuccessAllhisdesignsattend。\' Cytherea\'slipsdidnotmove,nordidanysoundescapeher;butcouldshehelpsingingthewordsinthedepthsofherbeing,althoughthemantowhomsheappliedthemsatatherrival\'sside? Perhapsthemoralcompensationforallawoman\'spettyclevernessunderthrivingconditionsistherealnobilitythatliesinherextremefoolishnessattheseothertimes;hersheerinabilitytobesimplyjust,herexerciseofanillogicalpowerentirelydeniedtomeningeneral——thepowernotonlyofkissing,butofdelightingtokisstherodbyapunctiliousobservanceoftheself-immolatingdoctrinesintheSermonontheMount。 AsforEdward——alittlelikeothermenofhistemperament,towhom,itissomewhathumiliatingtothink,theaberrancyofagivenloveisinitselfarecommendation——hissentiment,ashelookedoverhiscousin\'sbook,wasofalowerrank,HoratianratherthanPsalmodic—— \'O,whathastthouofher,ofherWhoseeverylookdidloveinspire; Whoseeverybreathingfannedmyfire,Andstolemefrommyselfaway!\' Then,withoutlettinghimseeher,Cythereasliptoutofchurchearly,andwenthome,thetonesoftheorganstilllingeringinherearsasshetriedbravelytokillajealousthoughtthatwouldneverthelesslive:\'Mynatureisonecapableofmore,farmore,intensefeelingthanhers!Shecan\'tappreciateallthesidesofhim——sheneverwill!Heismoretangibletomeevennow,asathought,thanhispresenceitselfistoher!\'Shewaslessnoblethen。 Butshecontinuallyrepressedhermiseryandbitternessofhearttilltheefforttodososhowedsignsoflessening。Atlengthsheeventriedtohopethatherlostloverandherrivalwouldloveoneanotherverydearly。 Thesceneandthesentimentdroppedintothepast。Meanwhile,Manstoncontinuedvisiblybeforeher。He,thoughquietandsubduedinhisbearingforalongtimeafterthecalamityofNovember,hadnotsimulatedagriefthathedidnotfeel。Atfirsthislossseemedsotoabsorbhim——thoughasastartlingchangeratherthanasaheavysorrow——thathepaidCythereanoattentionwhatever。Hisconductwasuniformlykindandrespectful,butlittlemore。Then,asthedateofthecatastrophegrewremoter,hebegantowearadifferentaspecttowardsher。Healwayscontrivedtoobliteratebyhismannerallrecollectiononhersidethatshewascomparativelymoredependentthanhimself——makingmuchofherwomanhood,nothingofhersituation。Prompttoaidherwheneveroccasionoffered,andfullofdelightfulpetitssoinsatalltimes,hewasnotofficious。 Inthiswayheirresistiblywonforhimselfapositionasherfriend,andthemoreeasilyinthatheallowednotthefaintestsymptomoftheoldlovetobeapparent。 MattersstoodthusinthemiddleofthespringwhenthenextmoveonhisbehalfwasmadebyMissAldclyffe。 2。THETHIRDOFMAY SheledCythereatoasummer-housecalledtheFane,builtintheprivategroundsaboutthemansionintheformofaGreciantemple; itoverlookedthelake,theislandonit,thetrees,andtheirundisturbedreflectioninthesmoothstillwater。Heretheoldandyoungmaidhalted;heretheystood,sidebyside,mentallyimbibingthescene。 ThemonthwasMay——thetime,morning。Cuckoos,thrushes,blackbirds,andsparrowsgaveforthaperfectconfusionofsongandtwitter。Theroadwasspottedwhitewiththefallenleavesofapple-blossoms,andthesparklinggreydewstilllingeredonthegrassandflowers。Twoswansfloatedintoviewinfrontofthewomen,andthencrossedthewatertowardsthem。 \'Theyseemtocometouswithoutanywilloftheirown——quiteinvoluntarily——don\'tthey?\'saidCytherea,lookingatthebirds\' gracefuladvance。 \'Yes,butifyoulooknarrowlyyoucanseetheirhipsjustbeneaththewater,workingwiththegreatestenergy。\' \'I\'drathernotseethat,itspoilstheideaofproudindifferencetodirectionwhichweassociatewithaswan。\' \'Itdoes;we\'llhave“involuntarily。“Ah,nowthisremindsmeofsomething。\' \'Ofwhat?\' \'Ofahumanbeingwhoinvoluntarilycomestowardsyourself。\' CytherealookedintoMissAldclyffe\'sface;hereyesgrewroundascircles,andlinesofwondermentcamevisiblyuponhercountenance。 ShehadnotonceregardedManstonasaloversincehiswife\'ssuddenappearanceandsubsequentdeath。Thedeathofawife,andsuchadeath,wasanoverwhelmingmatterinherideasofthings。 \'Isitamanorwoman?\'shesaid,quiteinnocently。 \'Mr。Manston,\'saidMissAldclyffequietly。 \'Mr。ManstonattractedbymeNOW?\'saidCytherea,standingatgaze。 \'Didn\'tyouknowit?\' \'CertainlyIdidnot。Why,hispoorwifehasonlybeendeadsixmonths。\' \'Ofcourseheknowsthat。Butlovingisnotdonebymonths,ormethod,orrule,ornobodywouldeverhaveinventedsuchaphraseas“fallinginlove。“Hedoesnotwanthislovetobeobservedjustyet,ontheveryaccountyoumention;butconcealitashemayfromhimselfandus,itexistsdefinitely——andveryintensely,Iassureyou。\' \'Isupposethen,thatifhecan\'thelpit,itisnoharmofhim,\' saidCythereanaively,andbeginningtoponder。 \'Ofcourseitisn\'t——youknowthatwellenough。Shewasagreatburdenandtroubletohim。Thismaybecomeagreatgoodtoyouboth。\' Arushoffeelingatrememberingthatthesamewoman,beforeManston\'sarrival,hadjustasfranklyadvocatedEdward\'sclaims,checkedCytherea\'sutteranceforawhile。 \'There,don\'tlookatmelikethat,forHeaven\'ssake!\'saidMissAldclyffe。\'Youcouldalmostkillapersonbytheforceofreproachyoucanputintothoseeyesofyours,Iverilybelieve。\' Edwardonceintheyounglady\'sthoughts,therewasnogettingridofhim。Shewantedtobealone。 \'Doyouwantmehere?\'shesaid。 \'Nowthere,there;youwanttobeoff,andhaveagoodcry,\'saidMissAldclyffe,takingherhand。\'Butyoumustn\'t,mydear。 There\'snothinginthepastforyoutoregret。CompareMr。 Manston\'shonourableconducttowardshiswifeandyourself,withSpringrovetowardshisbetrothedandyourself,andthenseewhichappearsthemoreworthyofyourthoughts。\' 3。FROMTHEFOURTHOFMAYTOTHETWENTY-FIRSTOFJUNE ThenextstageinManston\'sadvancestowardsherhandwasaclearlydefinedcourtship。Shewassadlyperplexed,andsomecontrivancewasnecessaryonhispartinordertomeetwithher。Butitisnexttoimpossibleforanappreciativewomantohaveapositiverepugnancetowardsanunusuallyhandsomeandgiftedman,eventhoughshemaynotbeinclinedtolovehim。HenceCythereawasnotsoalarmedatthesightofhimastorenderameetingandconversationwithhermorethanamatterofdifficulty。 Comingandgoingfromchurchwashisgrandopportunity。Manstonwasveryreligiousnow。Itiscommonlysaidthatnomanwaseverconvertedbyargument,butthereisasingleonewhichwillmakeanyLaodiceaninEngland,lethimbeoncelove-sick,wearprayer-booksandbecomeazealousEpiscopalian——theargumentthathissweetheartcanbeseenfromhispew。 Manstonintroducedintohismethodasystemofbewitchingflattery,everywherepervasive,yet,too,sotransitoryandintangible,that,asinthecaseofthepoetWordsworthandtheWanderingVoice,thoughshefeltitpresent,shecouldneverfindit。Asafoiltoheightenitseffect,heoccasionallyspokephilosophicallyoftheevanescenceoffemalebeauty——theworthlessnessofmereappearance。 \'Handsomeisthathandsomedoes\'heconsideredaproverbwhichshouldbewrittenonthelooking-glassofeverywomanintheland。 \'Yourform,yourmotions,yourhearthavewonme,\'hesaid,inatoneofplayfulsadness。\'Theyarebeautiful。ButIseethesethings,anditcomesintomymindthattheyaredoomed,theyareglidingtonothingasIlook。Pooreyes,poormouth,poorface,poormaiden!“Wherewillhergloriesbeintwentyyears?”Isay。 “Wherewillallofherbeinahundred?”ThenIthinkitiscruelthatyoushouldbloomaday,andfadeforeverandever。ItseemshardandsadthatyouwilldieasordinarilyasI,andbeburied;befoodforrootsandworms,beforgottenandcometoearth,andgrowupamerebladeofchurchyard-grassandanivyleaf。Then,MissGraye,whenIseeyouareaLovelyNothing,Ipityyou,andtheloveIfeelthenisbetterandsounder,largerandmorelastingthanthatIfeltatthebeginning。\'Againanardentflashofhishandsomeeyes。 Itwasbythisroutethatheventuredonanindirectdeclarationandofferofhishand。 Sheimpliedinthesameindirectmannerthatshedidnotlovehimenoughtoacceptit。 Anactualrefusalwasmorethanhehadexpected。Cursinghimselfforwhathecalledhisegregiousfollyinmakinghimselftheslaveofamerelady\'sattendant,andforhavinggiventheparish,shouldtheyknowofherrefusal,achanceofsneeringathim——certainlyagroundforthinkinglessofhisstandingthanbefore——hewenthometotheOldHouse,andwalkedindecisivelyupanddownhisback-yard。 Turningaside,heleanthisarmsupontheedgeoftherain-water- buttstandinginthecorner,andlookedintoit。ThereflectionfromthesmoothstagnantsurfacetingedhisfacewiththegreenishshadesofCorreggio\'snudes。Stavesofsunlightslanteddownthroughthestillpool,lightingitupwithwonderfuldistinctness。 Hundredsofthousandsofminutelivingcreaturessportedandtumbledinitsdepthwitheverycontortionthatgaietycouldsuggest; perfectlyhappy,thoughconsistingonlyofahead,oratail,oratmostaheadandatail,andalldoomedtodiewithinthetwenty-fourhours。 \'Damnmyposition!Whyshouldn\'tIbehappythroughmylittledaytoo?Lettheparishsneeratmyrepulses,letit。I\'llgether,ifImoveheavenandearthtodoit!\' Indeed,theinexperiencedCythereahad,towardsEdwardinthefirstplace,andManstonafterwards,unconsciouslyadoptedbearingsthatwouldhavebeentheverytacticsofaprofessionalfisherofmenwhowishedtohavethemeachsuccessivelydanglingatherheels。Forifanyruleatallcanbelaiddowninamatterwhich,formencollectively,isnotoriouslybeyondregulation,itisthattosnubapettedman,andtopetasnubbedman,isthewaytowininsuitsofbothkinds。ManstonwithSpringrove\'sencouragementwouldhavebecomeindifferent。EdwardwithManston\'srepulseswouldhavesheeredoffattheoutset,ashedidafterwards。HersupremeindifferenceaddedfueltoManston\'sardour——itcompletelydisarmedhispride。TheinvulnerableNobodyseemedgreatertohimthanasusceptiblePrincess。 4。FROMTHETWENTY-FIRSTOFJUNETOTHEENDOFJULY Cythereahadinthemeantimereceivedthefollowingletterfromherbrother。Itwasthefirstdefinitenotificationoftheenlargementofthatcloudnobiggerthanaman\'shandwhichhadfornearlyatwelvemonthhungbeforetheminthedistance,andwhichwassoontogiveacolourtotheirwholeskyfromhorizontohorizon。 \'BUDMOUTHREGIS,Saturday。 \'DARLINGSIS,——Ihavedelayedtellingyouforalongtimeofalittlematterwhich,thoughnotonetobeseriouslyalarmedabout,issufficientlyvexing,anditwouldbeunfairinmetokeepitfromyouanylonger。ItisthatforsometimepastIhaveagainbeendistressedbythatlamenesswhichIfirstdistinctlyfeltwhenwewenttoLulsteadCove,andagainwhenIleftKnapwaterthatmorningearly。Itisanunusualpaininmyleftleg,betweenthekneeandtheankle。Ihadjustfoundfreshsymptomsofitwhenyouwerehereforthathalf-houraboutamonthago——whenyousaidinfunthatI begantomovelikeanoldman。Ihadagoodmindtotellyouthen,butfancyingitwouldgooffinafewdays,Ithoughtitwasnotworthwhile。Sincethattimeithasincreased,butIamstillabletoworkintheoffice,sittingonthestool。MygreatfearisthatMr。G。willhavesomeout-doormeasuringworkformetodosoon,andthatIshallbeobligedtodeclineit。However,wewillhopeforthebest。Howitcame,whatwasitsorigin,orwhatittendsto,I cannotthink。Youshallhearagaininadayortwo,ifitisnobetter——Yourlovingbrother,OWEN。\' Thissheanswered,beggingtoknowtheworst,whichshecouldbear,butsuspenseandanxietynever。Intwodayscameanotherletterfromhim,ofwhichthesubjoinedparagraphisaportion:—— \'Ihadquitedecidedtoletyouknowtheworst,andtoassureyouthatitwastheworst,beforeyouwrotetoaskit。AndagainIgiveyoumywordthatIwillconcealnothing——sothattherewillbenoexcusewhateverforyourwearingyourselfoutwithfearsthatIamworsethanIsay。Thismorningthen,forthefirsttime,Ihavebeenobligedtostayawayfromtheoffice。Don\'tbefrightenedatthis,dearCytherea。Restisallthatiswanted,andbynursingmyselfnowforaweek,Imayavoidanillnessofsixmonths。\' Afteravisitfromherhewroteagain:—— \'Dr。Chestmanhasseenme。Hesaidthattheailmentwassomesortofrheumatism,andIamnowundergoingpropertreatmentforitscure。Mylegandfoothavebeenplacedinhotbran,linimentshavebeenapplied,andalsoseverefrictionwithapad。HesaysIshallbeasrightaseverinaveryshorttime。DirectlyIamIshallrunupbythetraintoseeyou。Don\'ttroubletocometomeifMissAldclyffegrumblesagainaboutyourbeingaway,forIamgoingoncapitally……Youshallhearagainattheendoftheweek。\' Atthetimementionedcamethefollowing:—— \'Iamsorrytotellyou,becauseIknowitwillbesodishearteningaftermylastletter,thatIamnotsowellasIwasthen,andthattherehasbeenasortofhitchintheproceedings。AfterIhadbeentreatedforrheumatismafewdayslonger(inwhichtreatmenttheyprickedtheplacewithalongneedleseveraltimes,)IsawthatDr。 Chestmanwasindoubtaboutsomething,andIrequestedthathewouldcallinabrotherprofessionalmantoseemeaswell。Theyconsultedtogetherandthentoldmethatrheumatismwasnotthediseaseafterall,buterysipelas。Theythenbegantreatingitdifferently,asbecameadifferentmatter。Blisters,flour,andstarch,seemtobetheorderofthedaynow——medicine,ofcourse,besides。 \'Mr。Gradfieldhasbeenintoinquireaboutme。Hesayshehasbeenobligedtogetadesignerinmyplace,whichgrievesmeverymuch,though,ofcourse,itcouldnotbeavoided。\' Amonthpassedaway;throughoutthisperiod,Cythereavisitedhimasoftenasthelimitedtimeathercommandwouldallow,andworeascheerfulacountenanceasthewomanlydeterminationtodonothingwhichmightdepresshimcouldenablehertowear。Anotherletterfromhimthentoldhertheseadditionalfacts:—— \'Thedoctorsfindtheyareagainonthewrongtack。Theycannotmakeoutwhatthediseaseis。OCytherea!howIwishtheyknew! Thissuspenseiswearingmeout。CouldnotMissAldclyffespareyouforaday?Docometome。Wewilltalkaboutthebestcoursethen。 Iamsorrytocomplain,butIamwornout。“ CythereawenttoMissAldclyffe,andtoldherofthemelancholyturnherbrother\'sillnesshadtaken。MissAldclyffeatoncesaidthatCythereamightgo,andofferedtodoanythingtoassistherwhichlayinherpower。Cytherea\'seyesbeamedgratitudeassheturnedtoleavetheroom,andhastentothestation。 \'O,Cytherea,\'saidMissAldclyffe,callingherback;\'justoneword。HasMr。Manstonspokentoyoulately?\' \'Yes,\'saidCytherea,blushingtimorously。 \'Heproposed?\' \'Yes。\' \'Andyourefusedhim?\' \'Yes。\' \'Tut,tut!Nowlistentomyadvice,\'saidMissAldclyffeemphatically,\'andaccepthimbeforehechangeshismind。Thechancewhichheoffersyouofsettlinginlifeisonethatmaypossibly,probably,notoccuragain。Hispositionisgoodandsecure,andthelifeofhiswifewouldbeahappyone。Youmaynotbesurethatyoulovehimmadly;butsupposeyouarenotsure?Myfatherusedtosaytomeasachildwhenhewasteachingmewhist,“Whenindoubtwinthetrick!”Thatadviceistentimesasvaluabletoawomanonthesubjectofmatrimony。Inrefusingamanthereisalwaystheriskthatyoumaynevergetanotheroffer。\' \'Whydidn\'tyouwinthetrickwhenyouwereagirl?\'saidCytherea。 \'Come,myladyPert;I\'mnotthetext,\'saidMissAldclyffe,herfaceglowinglikefire。 Cytherealaughedstealthily。 \'Iwasabouttosay,\'resumedMissAldclyffeseverely,\'thathereisMr。Manstonwaitingwiththetenderestsolicitudeforyou,andyouoverlookingit,asifitwerealtogetherbeneathyou。ThinkhowyoumightbenefityoursickbrotherifyouwereMrs。Manston。YouwillpleasemeVERYMUCHbygivinghimsomeencouragement。Youunderstandme,Cythiedear?\' Cythereawassilent。 \'And,\'saidMissAldclyffe,stillmoreemphatically,\'onyourpromisingthatyouwillaccepthimsometimethisyear,Iwilltakeespecialcareofyourbrother。Youarelistening,Cytherea?\' \'Yes,\'shewhispered,leavingtheroom。 ShewenttoBudmouth,passedthedaywithherbrother,andreturnedtoKnapwaterwretchedandfullofforeboding。Owenhadlookedstartlinglythinandpale——thinnerandpalerthanevershehadseenhimbefore。Thebrotherandsisterhadthatdaydecidedthatnotwithstandingthedrainupontheirslenderresources,anothersurgeonshouldseehim。Timewaseverything。 Owentoldhertheresultinhisnextletter:—— \'Thethreepractitionersbetweenthemhaveatlasthitthenailonthehead,Ihope。Theyprobedtheplace,anddiscoveredthatthesecretlayinthebone。Iunderwentanoperationforitsremovalthreedaysago(aftertakingchloroform)……ThankGoditisover。 ThoughIamsoweak,myspiritsareratherbetter。IwonderwhenI shallbeatworkagain?Iaskedthesurgeonshowlongitwouldbefirst。Isaidamonth?Theyshooktheirheads。Ayear?Isaid。 Notsolong,theysaid。Sixmonths?Iinquired。Theywouldnot,orcouldnot,tellme。Butnevermind。 \'Rundown,whenyouhavehalfadaytospare,forthehoursdragonsodrearily。OCytherea,youcan\'tthinkhowdrearily!\' Shewent。ImmediatelyonherdepartureMissAldclyffesentanotetotheOldHouse,toManston。Onthemaiden\'sreturn,tiredandsickatheartasusual,shefoundManstonatthestationawaitingher。HeaskedpolitelyifhemightaccompanyhertoKnapwater。Shetacitlyacquiesced。Duringtheirwalkheinquiredtheparticularsofherbrother\'sillness,andwithanirresistibledesiretopourouthertroubletosomeone,shetoldhimofthelengthoftimewhichmustelapsebeforehecouldbestrongagain,andofthelackofcomfortinlodgings。 Manstonwassilentawhile。Thenhesaidimpetuously:\'MissGraye,Iwillnotmincematters——Iloveyou——youknowit。Stratagemtheysayisfairinlove,andIamcompelledtoadoptitnow。Forgiveme,forIcannothelpit。Consenttobemywifeatanytimethatmaysuityou——anyremotedayyoumaynamewillsatisfyme——andyoushallfindhimwellprovidedfor。\' Forthefirsttimeinherlifeshetrulydreadedthehandsomemanathersidewhopleadedthusselfishly,andshrankfromthehotvoluptuousnatureofhispassionforher,which,disguiseitashemightunderaquietandpolishedexterior,attimesradiatedforthwithascorchingwhiteheat。Sheperceivedhowanimalwasthelovewhichbargained。 \'Idonotloveyou,Mr。Manston,\'sherepliedcoldly。 5。FROMTHEFIRSTTOTHETWENTY-SEVENTHOFAUGUST Thelongsunnydaysofthelatersummer-timebroughtonlythesamedrearyaccountsfromBudmouth,andsawCythereapayingthesamesadvisits。 Shegrewperceptiblyweaker,inbodyandmind。Manstonstillpersistedinhissuit,butwithmoreofhisformerindirectness,nowthathesawhowunexpectedlywellshestoodanopenattack。HiswasthesystemofDaresattheSiciliangames—— \'He,likeacaptainwhobeleaguersroundSomestrong-builtcastleonarisingground,Viewsalltheapproacheswithobservingeyes,Thisandthatotherpartagainhetries,Andmoreonindustrythanforcerelies。\' MissAldclyffemadeitappearmoreclearlythaneverthataidtoOwenfromherselfdependedentirelyuponCytherea\'sacceptanceofhersteward。Hemmedinanddistressed,Cytherea\'sanswerstohisimportunitiesgrewlessuniform;theywerefirm,orwavering,asOwen\'smaladyfluctuated。Hadaregisterofherpitifuloscillationsbeenkept,itwouldhaverivalledinpathosthediarywhereinDeQuinceytabulateshiscombatwithOpium——perhapsasnoticeableaninstanceasanyinwhichathrillingdramaticpowerhasbeengiventomerenumerals。Thusshewearilyandmonotonouslylivedthroughthemonth,listeningonSundaystothewellknownroundofchaptersnarratingthehistoryofElijahandElishainfamineanddrought;onweek-daystobuzzingfliesinhotsunnyrooms。\'Solike,soverylike,wasdaytoday。\'Extremelassitudeseemedallthattheworldcouldshowher。 Herstatewasinthiswise,whenoneafternoon,havingbeenwithherbrother,shemetthesurgeon,andbeggedhimtotelltheactualtruthconcerningOwen\'scondition。 Thereplywasthathefearedthatthefirstoperationhadnotbeenthorough;thatalthoughthewoundhadhealed,anotherattemptmightstillbenecessary,unlessnaturewerelefttoeffectherowncure。 Butthetimesuchaself-healingproceedingwouldoccupymightberuinous。 \'Howlongwoulditbe?\'shesaid。 \'Itisimpossibletosay。Ayearortwo,moreorless。\' \'Andsupposehesubmittedtoanotherartificialextraction?\' \'Thenhemightbewellinfourorsixmonths。\' Nowtheremainderofhisandherpossessions,togetherwithasumhehadborrowed,wouldnotprovidehimwithnecessarycomfortsforhalfthattime。Tocombatthemisfortune,thereweretwocoursesopen—— herbecomingbetrothedtoManston,orthesendingOwentotheCountyHospital。 Thusterrified,drivenintoacorner,pantingandflutteringaboutforsomeloopholeofescape,yetstillshrinkingfromtheideaofbeingManston\'swife,thepoorlittlebirdendeavouredtofindoutfromMissAldclyffewhetheritwaslikelyOwenwouldbewelltreatedinthehospital。 \'CountyHospital!\'saidMissAldclyffe;\'why,itisonlyanothernameforslaughter-house——insurgicalcasesatanyrate。Certainlyifanythingaboutyourbodyissnaptintwotheydojoinyoutogetherinafashion,but\'tissoaskewandugly,thatyoumayaswellbeapartagain。\'Thensheterrifiedtheinquiringandanxiousmaidenbyrelatinghorridstoriesofhowthelegsandarmsofpoorpeoplewerecutoffatamoment\'snotice,especiallyincaseswheretherestorativetreatmentwaslikelytobelongandtedious。 \'YouknowhowwillingIamtohelpyou,Cytherea,\'sheaddedreproachfully。\'Youknowit。Whyareyousoobstinatethen?Whydoyouselfishlybartheclear,honourable,andonlysisterlypathwhichleadsoutofthisdifficulty?Icannot,onmyconscience,countenanceyou;no,Icannot。\' Manstononcemorerepeatedhisoffer;andoncemoresherefused,butthistimeweakly,andwithsignsofaninternalstruggle。Manston\'seyesparkled;hesawforthehundredthtimeinhislife,thatperseverance,ifonlysystematic,wasirresistiblebywomankind。 6。THETWENTY-SEVENTHOFAUGUST OngoingtoBudmouththreedayslater,shefoundtohersurprisethatthestewardhadbeenthere,hadintroducedhimself,andhadseenherbrother。Afewdelicacieshadbeenbroughthimalsobythesamehand。OwenspokeinwarmtermsofManstonandhisfreeandunceremoniouscall,ashecouldnothaverefrainedfromdoingofanyperson,ofanykind,whosepresencehadservedtohelpawaythetedioushoursofalongday,andwhohad,moreover,shownthatsortofconsiderationforhimwhichtheaccompanyingbasketimplied—— antecedentconsideration,sotellinguponallinvalids——andwhichhesoseldomexperiencedexceptfromthehandsofhissister。 Howshouldheperceive,amidthistithe-payingofmint,andanise,andcummin,theweightiermatterswhichwereleftundone? AgainthestewardmetheratCarrifordRoadStationonherreturnjourney。Insteadofbeingfrigidasattheformermeetingatthesameplace,shewasembarrassedbyastrifeofthought,andmurmuredbrokenlyherthanksforwhathehaddone。Thesamerequestthathemightseeherhomewasmade。 HehadperceivedhiserrorinmakinghiskindnesstoOwenaconditionalkindness,andhadhastenedtoeffaceallrecollectionofit。\'ThoughIletmyofferonherbrother\'s——myfriend\'s——behalf,seemdependentonmylady\'sgraciousnesstome,\'hewhisperedwooinglyinthecourseoftheirwalk,\'Icouldnotconscientiouslyadheretomystatement;itwassaidwithalltheimpulsiveselfishnessoflove。Whetheryouchoosetohaveme,orwhetheryoudon\'t,Iloveyoutoodevotedlytobeanythingbutkindtoyourbrother……MissGraye,Cytherea,Iwilldoanything,\'hecontinuedearnestly,\'togiveyoupleasure——indeedIwill。\' Shesawontheonehandherpoorandmuch-lovedOwenrecoveringfromhisillnessandtroublesbythedisinterestedkindnessofthemanbesideher,ontheothershedrewhimdying,whollybyreasonofherself-enforcedpoverty。Tomarrythismanwasobviouslythecourseofcommonsense,torefusehimwasimpolitictemerity。Therewasreasoninthis。Buttherewasmorebehindthanahundredreasons——awoman\'sgratitudeandherimpulsetobekind。 Thewaveringofhermindwasvisibleinhertell-taleface。Henoticedit,andcaughtattheopportunity。 Theywerestandingbytheruinousfoundationsofanoldmillinthemidstofameadow。Betweengreyandhalf-overgrownstonework——theonlysignsofmasonryremaining——thewatergurgleddownfromtheoldmillpondtoalowerlevel,underthecloakofrankbroadleaves——thesensuousnaturesofthevegetableworld。Ontherighthandthesun,restingonthehorizon-line,streamedacrossthegroundfrombelowcopper-colouredandlilacclouds,stretchedoutinflatsbeneathaskyofpalesoftgreen。Alldarkobjectsontheearththatlaytowardsthesunwereoverspreadbyapurplehaze,againstwhichaswarmofwailinggnatsshoneforthluminously,risingupwardandfloatingawaylikesparksoffire。 Thestillnessoppressedandreducedhertomerepassivity。Theonlywishthehumidityoftheplaceleftinherwastostandmotionless。 Thehelplessflatnessofthelandscapegaveher,asitgivesallsuchtemperaments,asenseofbareequalitywith,andnosuperiorityto,asingleentityunderthesky。 Hecamesoclosethattheirclothestouched。\'Willyoutrytoloveme?Dotrytoloveme!\'hesaid,inawhisper,takingherhand。Hehadnevertakenitbefore。Shecouldfeelhishandtremblingexceedinglyasitheldhersinitsclasp。 Consideringhiskindnesstoherbrother,hisloveforherself,andEdward\'sfickleness,oughtshetoforbidhimtodothis?Howtrulypitifulitwastofeelhishandtrembleso——allforher!Shouldshewithdrawherhand?Shewouldthinkwhethershewould。Thinking,andhesitating,shelookedasfarastheautumnalhazeonthemarshygroundwouldallowhertoseedistinctly。Therewasthefragmentofahedge——allthatremainedofa\'wetoldgarden\'——standinginthemiddleofthemead,withoutadefinitebeginningorending,purposelessandvalueless。Itwasovergrown,andchokedwithmandrakes,andshecouldalmostfancysheheardtheirshrieks…… Shouldshewithdrawherhand?No,shecouldnotwithdrawitnow;itwastoolate,theactwouldnotimplyrefusal。Shefeltasoneinaboatwithoutoars,driftingwithclosedeyesdownariver——sheknewnotwhither。 Hegaveherhandagentlepressure,andrelinquishedit。 Thenitseemedasifhewerecomingtothepointagain。No,hewasnotgoingtourgehissuitthatevening。Anotherrespite。 7。THEEARLYPARTOFSEPTEMBER Saturdaycame,andshewentonsometrivialerrandtothevillagepost-office。Itwasalittlegreycottagewithaluxuriantjasmineencirclingthedoorway,andbeforegoinginCythereapausedtoadmirethispleasingfeatureoftheexterior。Hearingasteponthegravelbehindthecornerofthehouse,sheresignedthejasmineandentered。Nobodywasintheroom。ShecouldhearMrs。Leat,thewidowwhoactedaspostmistress,walkingaboutoverherhead。 CythereawasgoingtothefootofthestairstocallMrs。Leat,butbeforeshehadaccomplishedherobject,anotherformstoodatthehalf-opendoor。Manstoncamein。 \'Bothonthesameerrand,\'hesaidgracefully。 \'Iwillcallher,\'saidCytherea,movinginhastetothefootofthestairs。 \'Onemoment。\'Heglidedtoherside。\'Don\'tcallherforamoment,\'herepeated。 Butshehadsaid,\'Mrs。Leat!\' HeseizedCytherea\'shand,kissedittenderly,andcarefullyreplaceditbyherside。 Shehadthatmorningdeterminedtocheckhisfurtheradvances,untilshehadthoroughlyconsideredherposition。Theremonstrancewasnowonhertongue,butasaccidentwouldhaveit,beforethewordcouldbespokenMrs。Leatwassteppingfromthelaststairtothefloor,andnoremonstrancecame。 Withthesubtletywhichcharacterizedhiminallhisdealingswithher,hequicklyconcludedhisownerrand,badeheragood-bye,inthetonesofwhichlovewassogarnishedwithpurepolitenessthatitonlyshoweditspresencetoherself,andleftthehouse——puttingitoutofherpowertorefusehimhercompanionshiphomeward,ortoobjecttohislateactionofkissingherhand。 TheFridayofthenextweekbroughtanotherletterfromherbrother。 Inthisheinformedherthat,inabsolutegrieflestheshoulddistressherunnecessarily,hehadsometimeearlierborrowedafewpounds。Aweekago,hesaid,hiscreditorbecameimportunate,butthatonthedayonwhichhewrote,thecreditorhadtoldhimtherewasnohurryforasettlement,that\'hisSISTER\'SSUITORhadguaranteedthesum。\'\'IsheMr。Manston?tellme,Cytherea,\'saidOwen。 Healsomentionedthatawheeledchairhadbeenanonymouslyhiredforhisespecialuse,thoughasyethewashardlyfarenoughadvancedtowardsconvalescencetoavailhimselfoftheluxury。\'IsthisMr。Manston\'sdoing?\'heinquired。 Shecoulddallywithherperplexity,evadeit,trusttotimeforguidance,nolonger。Thematterhadcometoacrisis:shemustonceandforallchoosebetweenthedictatesofherunderstandingandthoseofherheart。Shelonged,tillhersoulseemednightobursting,forherlostmother\'sreturntoearth,butforoneminute,thatshemighthavetendercounseltoguideherthroughthis,hergreatdifficulty。 Asforherheart,shehalffanciedthatitwasnotEdward\'stoquitetheextentthatitoncehadbeen;shethoughthimcruelinconductinghimselftowardsherashedidatBudmouth,cruelafterwardsinmakingsolightofher。Sheknewhehadstifledhisloveforher——wasutterlylosttoher。Butforallthatshecouldnothelpindulginginawoman\'spleasureofrecreatingdefunctagonies,andlaceratingherselfwiththemnowandthen。 \'IfIwererich,\'shethought,\'Iwouldgivewaytotheluxuryofbeingmorbidlyfaithfultohimforeverwithouthisknowledge。\' Butsheconsidered;inthefirstplaceshewasahomelessdependent; andwhatdidpracticalwisdomtellhertodoundersuchdesperatecircumstances?Toprovideherselfwithsomeplaceofrefugefrompoverty,andwithmeanstoaidherbrotherOwen。ThiswastobeMr。 Manston\'swife。 Shedidnotlovehim。 Butwhatwaslovewithoutahome?Misery。Whatwasahomewithoutlove?Alas,notmuch;butstillakindofhome。 \'Yes,\'shethought,\'IamurgedbymycommonsensetomarryMr。 Manston。\' Didanythingnoblerinhersaysotoo? Withthedeath(toher)ofEdwardherheart\'soccupationwasgone。 Wasitnecessaryorevenrightforhertotenditandtakecareofitassheusedtointheoldtime,whenitwasstillacapableminister? Byaslightsacrificehereshecouldgivehappinesstoatleasttwoheartswhoseemotionalactivitieswerestillunwounded。Shewoulddogoodtotwomenwhoseliveswerefarmoreimportantthanhers。 \'Yes,\'shesaidagain,\'evenChristianityurgesmetomarryMr。 Manston。\' DirectlyCythereahadpersuadedherselfthatakindofheroicself- abnegationhadtodowiththematter,shebecamemuchmorecontentintheconsiderationofit。Awilfulindifferencetothefuturewaswhatreallyprevailedinher,illandwornout,asshewas,bytheperpetualharassmentsofhersadfortune,andsheregardedthisindifference,asgushingnatureswilldoundersuchcircumstances,asgenuineresignationanddevotedness。 Manstonmetheragainthefollowingday:indeed,therewasnoescapinghimnow。Attheendofashortconversationbetweenthem,whichtookplaceinthehollowoftheparkbythewaterfall,obscuredontheoutersidebythelowhangingbranchesofthelimes,shetacitlyassentedtohisassumptionofaprivilegegreaterthananythathadprecededit。Hestoopedandkissedherbrow。 BeforegoingtobedshewrotetoOwenexplainingthewholematter。 Itwastoolateintheeveningforthepostman\'svisit,andsheplacedtheletteronthemantelpiecetosenditthenextday。 Themorning(Sunday)broughtahurriedpostscripttoOwen\'sletterofthedaybefore:—— \'September9,1865。 \'DEARCYTHEREA——IhavereceivedafrankandfriendlyletterfromMr。 Manstonexplainingthepositioninwhichhestandsnow,andalsothatinwhichhehopestostandtowardsyou。Can\'tyoulovehim? Whynot?Try,forheisagood,andnotonlythat,butaculturedman。Thinkofthewearyandlaboriousfuturethatawaitsyouifyoucontinueforlifeinyourpresentposition,anddoyouseeanywayofescapefromitexceptbymarriage?Idon\'t。Don\'tgoagainstyourheart,Cytherea,butbewise——Everaffectionatelyyours,OWEN。\' ShethoughtthatprobablyhehadrepliedtoMr。Manstoninthesamefavouringmood。Shehadaconvictionthatthatdaywouldsettleherdoom。Yet\'Sotrueafoolislove,\' thatevennowshenourishedahalf-hopethatsomethingwouldhappenatthelastmomenttothwartherdeliberately-formedintentions,andfavourtheoldemotionshewasusingallherstrengthtothrustdown。 8。THETENTHOFSEPTEMBER TheSundaywasthethirteenthafterTrinity,andtheafternoonserviceatCarrifordwasnearlyover。ThepeopleweresingingtheEveningHymn。 ManstonwasatchurchasusualinhisaccustomedplacetwoseatsforwardfromthelargesquarepewoccupiedbyMissAldclyffeandCytherea。 Theordinarysadnessofanautumnalevening-serviceseemed,inCytherea\'seyes,tobedoubledonthisparticularoccasion。Shelookedatallthepeopleastheystoodandsang,wavingbackwardsandforwardslikeaforestofpinesswayedbyagentlebreeze;thenatthevillagechildrensingingtoo,theirheadsinclinedtooneside,theireyeslistlesslytracingsomecrackintheoldwalls,orfollowingthemovementofadistantboughorbirdwithfeaturespetrifiedalmosttopainfulness。ThenshelookedatManston;hewasalreadyregardingherwithsomepurposeinhisglance。 \'Itiscomingthisevening,\'shesaidinhermind。Aminutelater,attheendofthehymn,whenthecongregationbegantomoveout,Manstoncamedowntheaisle。Hewasoppositetheendofherseatasshesteppedfromit,theremainderoftheirprogresstothedoorbeingincontactwitheachother。MissAldclyffehadlingeredbehind。 \'Don\'tlet\'shurry,\'hesaid,whenCythereawasabouttoentertheprivatepathtotheHouseasusual。\'WouldyoumindturningdownthiswayforaminutetillMissAldclyffehaspassed?\' Shecouldnotverywellrefusenow。Theyturnedintoasecludedpathontheirleft,leadingroundthroughathicketoflaurelstotheothergateofthechurch-yard,walkingveryslowly。Bythetimethefurthergatewasreached,thechurchwasclosed。Theymetthesextonwiththekeysinhishand。 \'Wearegoinginsideforaminute,\'saidManstontohim,takingthekeysunceremoniously。\'Iwillbringthemtoyouwhenwereturn。\' Thesextonnoddedhisassent,andCythereaandManstonwalkedintotheporch,andupthenave。 Theydidnotspeakawordduringtheirprogress,orinanywayinterferewiththestillnessandsilencethatprevailedeverywherearoundthem。Everythingintheplacewastheembodimentofdecay: thefadingredglarefromthesettingsun,whichcameinatthewestwindow,emphasizingtheendofthedayandallitscheerfuldoings,themildewedwalls,theunevenpaving-stones,thewormypews,thesenseofrecentoccupation,andthedankairofdeathwhichhadgatheredwiththeevening,wouldhavemadegravealightermoodthanCytherea\'swasthen。 \'Whatsensationsdoestheplaceimpressyouwith?\'shesaidatlast,verysadly。 \'Ifeelimperativelycalledupontobehonest,fromverydespairofachievinganythingbystratageminaworldwherethematerialsaresuchasthese。\'He,too,spokeinadepressedvoice,purposelyorotherwise。 \'IfeelasifIwerealmostashamedtobeseenwalkingsuchaworld,\'shemurmured;\'that\'stheeffectithasuponme;butitdoesnotinducemetobehonestparticularly。\' Hetookherhandinbothhis,andlookeddownuponthelidsofhereyes。 \'Ipityyousometimes,\'hesaidmoreemphatically。 \'Iampitiable,perhaps;soaremanypeople。Whydoyoupityme?\' \'Ithinkthatyoumakeyourselfneedlesslysad。\' \'Notneedlessly。\' \'Yes,needlessly。Whyshouldyoubeseparatedfromyourbrothersomuch,whenyoumighthavehimtostaywithyoutillheiswell?\' \'Thatcan\'tbe,\'shesaid,turningaway。 Hewenton,\'IthinktherealandonlygoodthingthatcanbedoneforhimistogethimawayfromBudmouthawhile;andIhavebeenwonderingwhetheritcouldnotbemanagedforhimtocometomyhousetoliveforafewweeks。Onlyaquarterofamilefromyou。 Howpleasantitwouldbe!\' \'Itwould。\' Hemovedhimselfroundimmediatelytothefrontofher,andheldherhandmorefirmly,ashecontinued,\'Cytherea,whydoyousay“Itwould,“soentirelyinthetoneofabstractsupposition?Iwanthimthere:Iwanthimtobemybrother,too。Thenmakehimso,andbemywife!Icannotlivewithoutyou。OCytherea。mydarling,mylove,comeandbemywife!\' Hisfacebentcloserandclosertohers,andthelastwordssanktoawhisperasweakastheemotioninspiringitwasstrong。 Shesaidfirmlyanddistinctly,\'Yes,Iwill。\' \'Nextmonth?\'hesaidontheinstant,beforetakingbreath。 \'No;notnextmonth。\' \'Thenext?\' \'No。\' \'December?ChristmasDay,say?\' \'Idon\'tmind。\' \'O,youdarling!\'Hewasabouttoimprintakissuponherpale,coldmouth,butshehastilycovereditwithherhand。 \'Don\'tkissme——atleastwherewearenow!\'shewhisperedimploringly。 \'Why?\' \'WearetoonearGod。\' Hegaveasuddenstart,andhisfaceflushed。Shehadspokensoemphaticallythatthewords\'NearGod\'echoedbackagainthroughthehollowbuildingfromthefarendofthechancel。 \'Whatathingtosay!\'heexclaimed;\'surelyapurekissisnotinappropriatetotheplace!\' \'No,\'shereplied,withaswellingheart;\'Idon\'tknowwhyIburstoutso——Ican\'ttellwhathascomeoverme!Willyouforgiveme?\' \'HowshallIsay“Yes“withoutjudgingyou?HowshallIsay“No“ withoutlosingthepleasureofsaying“Yes?”\'Hewashimselfagain。 \'Idon\'tknow,\'sheabsentlymurmured。 \'I\'llsay“Yes,“\'heanswereddaintily。\'Itissweetertofancyweareforgiven,thantothinkwehavenotsinned;andyoushallhavethesweetnesswithouttheneed。\' Shedidnotreply,andtheymovedaway。Thechurchwasnearlydarknow,andmelancholyintheextreme。Shestoodbesidehimwhilehelockedthedoor,thentookthearmhegaveher,andwoundherwayoutofthechurchyardwithhim。Thentheywalkedtothehousetogether,butthegreatmatterhavingbeensetatrest,shepersistedintalkingonlyonindifferentsubjects。 \'ChristmasDay,then,\'hesaid,astheywerepartingattheendoftheshrubbery。 \'ImeantOldChristmasDay,\'shesaidevasively。 \'H\'m,peopledonotusuallyattachthatmeaningtothewords。\' \'No;butIshouldlikeitbestifitcouldnotbetillthen?\'Itseemedtobestillherinstincttodelaythemarriagetotheutmost。 \'Verywell,love,\'hesaidgently。\'\'Tisafortnightlongerstill; butnevermind。OldChristmasDay。\' 9。THEELEVENTHOFSEPTEMBER \'There。ItwillbeonaFriday!\' Shesatuponalittlefootstoolgazingintentlyintothefire。Itwastheafternoonofthedayfollowingthatofthesteward\'ssuccessfulsolicitationofherhand。 \'IwonderifitwouldbeproperinmetorunacrosstheparkandtellhimitisaFriday?\'shesaidtoherself,risingtoherfeet,lookingatherhatlyingnear,andthenoutofthewindowtowardstheOldHouse。Properornot,shefeltthatshemustatallhazardsremovethedisagreeable,though,assheherselfowned,unfoundedimpressionthecoincidencehadoccasioned。Sheleftthehousedirectly,andwenttosearchforhim。 Manstonwasinthetimber-yard,lookingatthesawyersastheyworked。Cythereacameuptohimhesitatingly。Tillwithinadistanceofafewyardsshehadhurriedforwardwithalacrity——nowthatthepracticalexpressionofhisfacebecamevisibleshewishedalmostshehadneversoughthimonsuchanerrand;inhisbusiness- moodhewasperhapsverystern。 \'ItwillbeonaFriday,\'shesaidconfusedly,andwithoutanypreface。 \'Comethisway!\'saidManston,inthetoneheusedforworkmen,notbeingabletoalterataninstant\'snotice。Hegaveherhisarmandledherbackintotheavenue,bywhichtimehewasloveragain。\'OnaFriday,willit,dearest?YoudonotmindFridays,surely? That\'snonsense。\' \'Notseriouslymindthem,exactly——butifitcouldbeanyotherday?\' \'Well,letussayOldChristmasEve,then。ShallitbeOldChristmasEve?\' \'Yes,OldChristmasEve。\' \'Yourwordissolemn,andirrevocablenow?\' \'Certainly,Ihavesolemnlypledgedmyword;IshouldnothavepromisedtomarryyouifIhadnotmeantit。Don\'tthinkIshould。\' Shespokethewordswithadignifiedimpressiveness。 \'Youmustnotbevexedatmyremark,dearest。Canyouthinktheworseofanardentman,Cytherea,forshowingsomeanxietyinlove?\' \'No,no。\'Shecouldnotsaymore。Shewasalwaysillateasewhenhespokeofhimselfasapieceofhumannatureinthatanalyticalway,andwantedtobeoutofhispresence。Thetimeofday,andtheproximityofthehouse,affordedherameansofescape。\'ImustbewithMissAldclyffenow——willyouexcusemyhastycomingandgoing?\' shesaidprettily。Beforehehadrepliedshehadpartedfromhim。 \'Cytherea,wasitMr。ManstonIsawyouscuddingawayfromintheavenuejustnow?\'saidMissAldclyffe,whenCythereajoinedher。 \'Yes。\' \'“Yes。“Come,whydon\'tyousaymorethanthat?Ihatethosetaciturn“Yesses“ofyours。Itellyoueverything,andyetyouareascloseaswaxwithme。\' \'IpartedfromhimbecauseIwantedtocomein。\' \'Whatanovelandimportantannouncement!Well,isthedayfixed?\' \'Yes。\' MissAldclyffe\'sfacekindledintointenseinterestatonce。\'Isitindeed?Whenisittobe?\' \'OnOldChristmasEve。\' \'OldChristmasEve。\'MissAldclyffedrewCytherearoundtoherfront,andtookahandineachofherown。\'Andthenyouwillbeabride!\'shesaidslowly,lookingwithcriticalthoughtfulnessuponthemaiden\'sdelicatelyroundedcheeks。 Thenormalareaofthecolouruponeachofthemdecreasedperceptiblyafterthatslowandemphaticutterancebytheelderlady。 MissAldclyffecontinuedimpressively,\'Youdidnotsay“OldChristmasEve“asafianceeshouldhavesaidthewords:andyoudon\'treceivemyremarkwiththewarmexcitementthatforeshadowsabrightfuture……Howmanyweeksaretheretothetime?\' \'Ihavenotreckonedthem。\' \'Not?Fancyagirlnotcountingtheweeks!IfindImusttaketheleadinthismatter——youaresochildish,orfrightened,orstupid,orsomething,aboutit,Bringmemydiary,andwewillcountthematonce。\' Cythereasilentlyfetchedthebook。 MissAldclyffeopenedthediaryatthepagecontainingthealmanac,andcountedsixteenweeks,whichbroughthertothethirty-firstofDecember——aSunday。Cythereastoodby,lookingonasifshehadnoappetiteforthescene。 \'Sixteentothethirty-first。Thenletmesee,MondaywillbethefirstofJanuary,Tuesdaythesecond,Wednesdaythird,Thursdayfourth,Fridayfifth——youhavechosenaFriday,asIdeclare!\' \'AThursday,surely?\'saidCytherea。 \'No:OldChristmasDaycomesonaSaturday。\' Theperturbedlittlebrainhadreckonedwrong。\'Well,itmustbeaFriday,\'shemurmuredinareverie。 \'No:haveitaltered,ofcourse,\'saidMissAldclyffecheerfully。 \'There\'snothingbadinFriday,butsuchacreatureasyouwillbethinkingaboutitsbeingunlucky——infact,Iwouldn\'tchooseaFridaymyselftobemarriedon,sincealltheotherdaysareequallyavailable。\' \'Ishallnothaveitaltered,\'saidCythereafirmly;\'ithasbeenalteredoncealready:Ishallletitbe。\'