Themanleftherwithoutfurtherspeech,andHettyheldonherway。Anotherdayhadrisen,andshemustwanderon。Itwasnousetothinkofdrowningherself——shecouldnotdoit,atleastwhileshehadmoneylefttobuyfoodandstrengthtojourneyon。
Buttheincidentonherwakingthismorningheightenedherdreadofthattimewhenhermoneywouldbeallgone;shewouldhavetosellherbasketandclothesthen,andshewouldreallylooklikeabeggarorawildwoman,asthemanhadsaid。Thepassionatejoyinlifeshehadfeltinthenight,afterescapingfromthebrinkoftheblackcolddeathinthepool,wasgonenow。Lifenow,bythemorninglight,withtheimpressionofthatman’shardwonderinglookather,wasasfullofdreadasdeath——itwasworse;itwasadreadtowhichshefeltchained,fromwhichsheshrankandshrankasshedidfromtheblackpool,andyetcouldfindnorefugefromit。
Shetookouthermoneyfromherpurse,andlookedatit。Shehadstilltwo-and-twentyshillings;itwouldserveherformanydaysmore,oritwouldhelphertogetonfastertoStonyshire,withinreachofDinah。ThethoughtofDinahurgeditselfmorestronglynow,sincetheexperienceofthenighthaddrivenhershudderingimaginationawayfromthepool。IfithadbeenonlygoingtoDinah——ifnobodybesidesDinahwouldeverknow——Hettycouldhavemadeuphermindtogotoher。Thesoftvoice,thepityingeyes,wouldhavedrawnher。Butafterwardstheotherpeoplemustknow,andshecouldnomorerushonthatshamethanshecouldrushondeath。
Shemustwanderonandon,andwaitforalowerdepthofdespairtogivehercourage。Perhapsdeathwouldcometoher,forshewasgettinglessandlessabletobeartheday’sweariness。Andyet——
suchisthestrangeactionofoursouls,drawingusbyalurkingdesiretowardstheveryendswedread——Hetty,whenshesetoutagainfromNorton,askedthestraightestroadnorthwardstowardsStonyshire,andkeptitallthatday。
PoorwanderingHetty,withtheroundedchildishfaceandthehard,unloving,despairingsoullookingoutofit——withthenarrowheartandnarrowthoughts,noroominthemforanysorrowsbutherown,andtastingthatsorrowwiththemoreintensebitterness!MyheartbleedsforherasIseehertoilingalongonherwearyfeet,orseatedinacart,withhereyesfixedvacantlyontheroadbeforeher,neverthinkingorcaringwhitherittends,tillhungercomesandmakesherdesirethatavillagemaybenear。
Whatwillbetheend,theendofherobjectlesswandering,apartfromalllove,caringforhumanbeingsonlythroughherpride,clingingtolifeonlyasthehuntedwoundedbruteclingstoit?
Godpreserveyouandmefrombeingthebeginnersofsuchmiserty!
TheQuestTHEfirsttendaysafterHetty’sdeparturepassedasquietlyasanyotherdayswiththefamilyattheHallFarm,andwithAdamathisdailywork。TheyhadexpectedHettytostayawayaweekortendaysatleast,perhapsalittlelongerifDinahcamebackwithher,becausetheremightthenbesomethungtodetainthematSnowfield。ButwhenafortnighthadpassedtheybegantofeelalittlesurprisethatHettydidnotreturn;shemustsurelyhavefounditpleasantertobewithDinahthananyonecouldhavesupposed。Adam,forhispart,wasgettingveryimpatienttoseeher,andheresolvedthat,ifshedidnotappearthenextday(Saturday),hewouldsetoutonSundaymorningtofetchher。
TherewasnocoachonaSunday,butbysettingoutbeforeitwaslight,andperhapsgettingaliftinacartbytheway,hewouldarriveprettyearlyatSnowfield,andbringbackHettythenextday——Dinahtoo,ifshewerecoming。ItwasquitetimeHettycamehome,andhewouldaffordtolosehisMondayforthesakeofbringingher。
HisprojectwasquiteapprovedattheFarmwhenhewentthereonSaturdayevening。Mrs。PoyserdesiredhimemphaticallynottocomebackwithoutHetty,forshehadbeenquitetoolongaway,consideringthethingsshehadtogetreadybythemiddleofMarch,andaweekwassurelyenoughforanyonetogooutfortheirhealth。AsforDinah,Mrs。Poyserhadsmallhopeoftheirbringingher,unlesstheycouldmakeherbelievethefolksatHayslopeweretwiceasmiserableasthefolksatSnowfield。
\"Though,\"saidMrs。Poyser,bywayofconclusion,\"youmighttellhershe’sgotbutoneauntleft,andSHE’Swastedprettynightoashadder;andweshallp’rhapsallbegonetwentymilefartheroffhernextMichaelmas,andshalldieo’brokenheartsamongstrangefolks,andleavethechildrenfatherlessandmotherless。\"
\"Nay,nay,\"saidMr。Poyser,whocertainlyhadtheairofamanperfectlyheart-whole,\"itisnasobadasthat。Thee’tlookingrarelynow,andgettingflesheveryday。ButI’dbegladforDinaht’come,forshe’dhelptheewi’thelittleuns:theytookt’herwonderful。\"
Soatdaybreak,onSunday,Adamsetoff。Sethwentwithhimthefirstmileortwo,forthethoughtofSnowfieldandthepossibilitythatDinahmightcomeagainmadehimrestless,andthewalkwithAdaminthecoldmorningair,bothintheirbestclothes,helpedtogivehimasenseofSundaycalm。ItwasthelastmorninginFebruary,withalowgreysky,andaslighthoar-
frostonthegreenborderoftheroadandontheblackhedges。
Theyheardthegurglingofthefullbrooklethurryingdownthehill,andthefainttwitteringoftheearlybirds。Fortheywalkedinsilence,thoughwithapleasedsenseofcompanionship。
\"Good-bye,lad,\"saidAdam,layinghishandonSeth’sshoulderandlookingathimaffectionatelyastheywereabouttopart。\"Iwishtheewastgoingallthewaywi’me,andashappyasIam。\"
\"I’mcontent,Addy,I’mcontent,\"saidSethcheerfully。\"I’llbeanoldbachelor,belike,andmakeafusswi’thychildren。\"
The’yturnedawayfromeachother,andSethwalkedleisurelyhomeward,mentallyrepeatingoneofhisfavouritehymns——hewasveryfondofhymns:
DarkandcheerlessisthemornUnaccompaniedbythee:
Joylessistheday’sreturnTillthymercy’sbeamsIsee:
Tillthouinwardlightimpart,Gladmyeyesandwarmmyheart。
Visit,then,thissoulofmine,Piercethegloomofsinandgrief——
Fillme,RadiancyDivine,Scatterallmyunbelief。
Moreandmorethyselfdisplay,Shiningtotheperfectday。
Adamwalkedmuchfaster,andanyonecomingalongtheOakbourneroadatsunrisethatmorningmusthavehadapleasantsightinthistallbroad-chestedman,stridingalongwithacarriageasuprightandfirmasanysoldier’s,glancingwithkeengladeyesatthedark-bluehillsastheybegantoshowthemselvesonhisway。
SeldominAdam’slifehadhisfacebeensofreefromanycloudofanxietyasitwasthismorning;andthisfreedomfromcare,asisusualwithconstructivepracticalmindslikehis,madehimallthemoreobservantoftheobjectsroundhimandallthemorereadytogathersuggestionsfromthemtowardshisownfavouriteplansandingeniouscontrivances。Hishappylove——theknowledgethathisstepswerecarryinghimnearerandnearertoHetty,whowassosoontobehis——wastohisthoughtswhatthesweetmorningairwastohissensations:itgavehimaconsciousnessofwell-beingthatmadeactivitydelightful。Everynowandthentherewasarushofmoreintensefeelingtowardsher,whichchasedawayotherimagesthanHetty;andalongwiththatwouldcomeawonderingthankfulnessthatallthishappinesswasgiventohim——thatthislifeofourshadsuchsweetnessinit。ForAdamhadadevoutmind,thoughhewasperhapsratherimpatientofdevoutwords,andhistendernesslayveryclosetohisreverence,sothattheonecouldhardlybestirredwithouttheother。Butafterfeelinghadwelledupandpoureditselfoutinthisway,busythoughtwouldcomebackwiththegreatervigour;andthismorningitwasintentonschemesbywhichtheroadsmightbeimprovedthatweresoimperfectallthroughthecountry,andonpicturingallthebenefitsthatmightcomefromtheexertionsofasinglecountrygentleman,ifhewouldsethimselftogettingtheroadsmadegoodinhisowndistrict。
Itseemedaveryshortwalk,thetenmilestoOakbourne,thatprettytownwithinsightofthebluehills,wherehebreak-fasted。
Afterthis,thecountrygrewbarerandbarer:nomorerollingwoods,nomorewide-branchingtreesnearfrequenthomesteads,nomorebushyhedgerows,butgreystonewallsintersectingthemeagrepastures,anddismalwide-scatteredgreystonehousesonbrokenlandswheremineshadbeenandwerenolonger。\"Ahungryland,\"
saidAdamtohimself。\"I’drathergosouth’ard,wheretheysayit’sasflatasatable,thancometolivehere;thoughifDinahlikestoliveinacountrywhereshecanbethemostcomforttofolks,she’si’therighttoliveo’thisside;forshemustlookasifshe’dcomestraightfromheaven,liketh’angelsinthedesert,tostrengthenthemasha’gotnothingt’eat。\"AndwhenatlasthecameinsightofSnowfield,hethoughtitlookedlikeatownthatwas\"fellowtothecountry,\"thoughthestreamthroughthevalleywherethegreatmillstoodgaveapleasantgreennesstothelowerfields。Thetownlay,grim,stony,andunsheltered,upthesideofasteephill,andAdamdidnotgoforwardtoitatpresent,forSethhadtoldhimwheretofindDinah。Itwasatathatchedcottageoutsidethetown,alittlewayfromthemill——anoldcottage,standingsidewaystowardstheroad,withalittlebitofpotato-groundbeforeit。HereDinahlodgedwithanelderlycouple;andifsheandHettyhappenedtobeout,Adamcouldlearnwheretheyweregone,orwhentheywouldbeathomeagain。Dinahmightbeoutonsomepreachingerrand,andperhapsshewouldhaveleftHettyathome。Adamcouldnothelphopingthis,andasherecognizedthecottagebytheroadsidebeforehim,thereshoneoutinhisfacethatinvoluntarysmilewhichbelongstotheexpectationofanearjoy。
Hehurriedhisstepalongthenarrowcauseway,andrappedatthedoor。Itwasopenedbyaverycleanoldwoman,withaslowpalsiedshakeofthehead。
\"IsDinahMorrisathome?\"saidAdam。
\"Eh?……no,\"saidtheoldwoman,lookingupatthistallstrangerwithawonderthatmadeherslowerofspeechthanusual。\"Willyoupleasetocomein?\"sheadded,retiringfromthedoor,asifrecollectingherself。\"Why,ye’rebrothertotheyoungmanascomeafore,arenaye?\"
\"Yes,\"saidAdam,entering。\"ThatwasSethBede。I’mhisbrotherAdam。Hetoldmetogivehisrespectstoyouandyourgoodmaster。\"
\"Aye,thesamet’him。Hewasagraciousyoungman。An’yefeaturehim,on’yye’redarker。Sityedowni’th’arm-chair。Mymanisnacomehomefrommeeting。\"
Adamsatdownpatiently,notlikingtohurrytheshakingoldwomanwithquestions,butlookingeagerlytowardsthenarrowtwistingstairsinonecorner,forhethoughtitwaspossibleHettymighthaveheardhisvoiceandwouldcomedownthem。
\"Soyou’recometoseeDinahMorris?\"saidtheoldwoman,standingoppositetohim。\"An’youdidn’knowshewasawayfromhome,then?\"
\"No,\"saidAdam,\"butIthoughtitlikelyshemightbeaway,seeingasit’sSunday。Buttheotheryoungwoman——issheathome,orgonealongwithDinah?\"
TheoldwomanlookedatAdamwithabewilderedair。
\"Gonealongwi’her?\"shesaid。\"Eh,Dinah’sgonetoLeeds,abigtownyemayha’hearedon,wherethere’samanyo’theLord’speople。She’sbeengonesin’Fridaywasafortnight:theysentherthemoneyforherjourney。Youmayseeherroomhere,\"shewenton,openingadoorandnotnoticingtheeffectofherwordsonAdam。Heroseandfollowedher,anddartedaneagerglanceintothelittleroomwithitsnarrowbed,theportraitofWesleyonthewall,andthefewbookslyingonthelargeBible。HehadhadanirrationalhopethatHettymightbethere。Hecouldnotspeakinthefirstmomentafterseeingthattheroomwasempty;anundefinedfearhadseizedhim——somethinghadhappenedtoHettyonthejourney。Stilltheoldwomanwassoslowof;speechandapprehension,thatHettymightbeatSnowfieldafterall。
\"It’sapityyedidnaknow,\"shesaid。\"Haveyecomefromyourowncountryo’purposetoseeher?\"
\"ButHetty——HettySorrel,\"saidAdam,abruptly;\"Whereisshe?\"
\"Iknownobodybythatname,\"saidtheoldwoman,wonderingly。
\"Isitanybodyye’vehearedonatSnowfield?\"
\"Didtherecomenoyoungwomanhere——veryyoungandpretty——Fridaywasafortnight,toseeDinahMorris?\"
\"Nay;I’nseennoyoungwoman。\"
\"Think;areyouquitesure?Agirl,eighteenyearsold,withdarkeyesanddarkcurlyhair,andaredcloakon,andabasketonherarm?Youcouldn’tforgetherifyousawher。\"
\"Nay;Fridaywasafortnight——itwasthedayasDinahwentaway——
therecomenobody。There’sne’erbeennobodyaskingforhertillyoucome,forthefolksaboutknowasshe’sgone。Ehdear,ehdear,istheresummatthematter?\"
TheoldwomanhadseentheghastlylookoffearinAdam’sface。
Buthewasnotstunnedorconfounded:hewasthinkingeagerlywherehecouldinquireaboutHetty。
\"Yes;ayoungwomanstartedfromourcountrytoseeDinah,Fridaywasafortnight。Icametofetchherback。I’mafraidsomethinghashappenedtoher。Ican’tstop。Good-bye。\"
Hehastenedoutofthecottage,andtheoldwomanfollowedhimtothegate,watchinghimsadlywithhershakingheadashealmostrantowardsthetown。HewasgoingtoinquireattheplacewheretheOakbournecoachstopped。
No!NoyoungwomanlikeHettyhadbeenseenthere。Hadanyaccidenthappenedtothecoachafortnightago?No。AndtherewasnocoachtotakehimbacktoOakbournethatday。Well,hewouldwalk:hecouldn’tstayhere,inwretchedinaction。Buttheinnkeeper,seeingthatAdamwasingreatanxiety,andenteringintothisnewincidentwiththeeagernessofamanwhopassesagreatdealoftimewithhishandsinhispocketslookingintoanobstinatelymonotonousstreet,offeredtotakehimbacktoOakbourneinhisown\"taxedcart\"thisveryevening。Itwasnotfiveo’clock;therewasplentyoftimeforAdamtotakeamealandyettogettoOakbournebeforeteno’clock。TheinnkeeperdeclaredthathereallywantedtogotoOakbourne,andmightaswellgoto-night;heshouldhaveallMondaybeforehimthen。
Adam,aftermakinganineffectualattempttoeat,putthefoodinhispocket,and,drinkingadraughtofale,declaredhimselfreadytosetoff。Astheyapproachedthecottage,itoccurredtohimthathewoulddowelltolearnfromtheoldwomanwhereDinahwastobefoundinLeeds:iftherewastroubleattheHallFarm——heonlyhalf-admittedtheforebodingthattherewouldbe——thePoysersmightliketosendforDinah。ButDinahhadnotleftanyaddress,andtheoldwoman,whosememoryfornameswasinfirm,couldnotrecallthenameofthe\"blessedwoman\"whowasDinah’schieffriendintheSocietyatLeeds。
Duringthatlong,longjourneyinthetaxedcart,therewastimeforalltheconjecturesofimportunatefearandstrugglinghope。
IntheveryfirstshockofdiscoveringthatHettyhadnotbeentoSnowfield,thethoughtofArthurhaddartedthroughAdamlikeasharppang,buthetriedforsometimetowardoffitsreturnbybusyinghimselfwithmodesofaccountingforthealarmingfact,quiteapartfromthatintolerablethought。Someaccidenthadhappened。Hettyhad,bysomestrangechance,gotintoawrongvehiclefromOakbourne:shehadbeentakenill,anddidnotwanttofrightenthembylettingthemknow。Butthisfrailfenceofvagueimprobabilitieswassoonhurleddownbyarushofdistinctagonizingfears。Hettyhadbeendeceivingherselfinthinkingthatshecouldloveandmarryhim:shehadbeenlovingArthurallthewhile;andnow,inherdesperationatthenearnessoftheirmarriage,shehadrunaway。Andshewasgonetohim。Theoldindignationandjealousyroseagain,andpromptedthesuspicionthatArthurhadbeendealingfalsely——hadwrittentoHetty——hadtemptedhertocometohim——beingunwilling,afterall,thatsheshouldbelongtoanothermanbesideshimself。Perhapsthewholethinghadbeencontrivedbyhim,andhehadgivenherdirectionshowtofollowhimtoIreland——forAdamknewthatArthurhadbeengonethitherthreeweeksago,havingrecentlylearntitattheChase。EverysadlookofHetty’s,sinceshehadbeenengagedtoAdam,returneduponhimnowwithalltheexaggerationofpainfulretrospect。Hehadbeenfoolishlysanguineandconfident。Thepoorthinghadn’tperhapsknownherownmindforalongwhile;hadthoughtthatshecouldforgetArthur;hadbeenmomentarilydrawntowardsthemanwhoofferedheraprotecting,faithfullove。Hecouldn’tbeartoblameher:shenevermeanttocausehimthisdreadfulpain。Theblamelaywiththatmanwhohadselfishlyplayedwithherheart——hadperhapsevendeliberatelyluredheraway。
AtOakbourne,theostlerattheRoyalOakrememberedsuchayoungwomanasAdamdescribedgettingoutoftheTreddlestoncoachmorethanafortnightago——wasn’tlikelytoforgetsuchaprettylassasthatinahurry——wassureshehadnotgoneonbytheBuxtoncoachthatwentthroughSnowfield,buthadlostsightofherwhilehewentawaywiththehorsesandhadneverseteyesonheragain。
AdamthenwentstraighttothehousefromwhichtheStonitioncoachstarted:StonitonwasthemostobviousplaceforHettytogotofirst,whatevermightbeherdestination,forshewouldhardlyventureonanybutthechiefcoach-roads。Shehadbeennoticedheretoo,andwasrememberedtohavesatontheboxbythecoachman;butthecoachmancouldnotbeseen,foranothermanhadbeendrivingonthatroadinhissteadthelastthreeorfourdays。HecouldprobablybeseenatStoniton,throughinquiryattheinnwherethecoachputup。Sotheanxiousheart-strickenAdammustofnecessitywaitandtrytoresttillmorning——nay,tilleleveno’clock,whenthecoachstarted。
AtStonitonanotherdelayoccurred,fortheoldcoachmanwhohaddrivenHettywouldnotbeinthetownagaintillnight。WhenhedidcomeherememberedHettywell,andrememberedhisownjokeaddressedtoher,quotingitmanytimestoAdam,andobservingwithequalfrequencythathethoughttherewassomethingmorethancommon,becauseHettyhadnotlaughedwhenhejokedher。Buthedeclared,asthepeoplehaddoneattheinn,thathehadlostsightofHettydirectlyshegotdown。Partofthenextmorningwasconsumedininquiriesateveryhouseinthetownfromwhichacoachstarted——(allinvain,foryouknowHettydidnotstartfromStonitionbycoach,butonfootinthegreymorning)——andtheninwalkingouttothefirsttoll-gatesonthedifferentlinesofroad,intheforlornhopeoffindingsomerecollectionofherthere。No,shewasnottobetracedanyfarther;andthenexthardtaskforAdamwastogohomeandcarrythewretchedtidingstotheHallFarm。Astowhatheshoulddobeyondthat,hehadcometotwodistinctresolutionsamidstthetumultofthoughtandfeelingwhichwasgoingonwithinhimwhilehewenttoandfro。
HewouldnotmentionwhatheknewofArthurDonnithorne’sbehaviourtoHettytilltherewasaclearnecessityforit:itwasstillpossibleHettymightcomeback,andthedisclosuremightbeaninjuryoranoffencetoher。Andassoonashehadbeenhomeanddonewhatwasnecessarytheretoprepareforhisfurtherabsence,hewouldstartofftoIreland:ifhefoundnotraceofHettyontheroad,hewouldgostraighttoArthurDonnithorneandmakehimselfcertainhowfarhewasacquaintedwithhermovements。
SeveraltimesthethoughtoccurredtohimthathewouldconsultMr。Irwine,butthatwouldbeuselessunlesshetoldhimall,andsobetrayedthesecretaboutArthur。ItseemsstrangethatAdam,intheincessantoccupationofhismindaboutHetty,shouldneverhavealightedontheprobabilitythatshehadgonetoWindsor,ignorantthatArthurwasnolongerthere。PerhapsthereasonwasthathecouldnotconceiveHetty’sthrowingherselfonArthuruncalled;heimaginednocausethatcouldhavedrivenhertosuchastep,afterthatletterwritteninAugust。Therewerebuttwoalternativesinhismind:eitherArthurhadwrittentoheragainandenticedheraway,orshehadsimplyfledfromherapproachingmarriagewithhimselfbecauseshefound,afterall,shecouldnotlovehimwellenough,andyetwasafraidofherfriends’angerifsheretracted。
Withthislastdeterminationonhismind,ofgoingstraighttoArthur,thethoughtthathehadspenttwodaysininquirieswhichhadprovedtobealmostuseless,wastorturingtoAdam;andyet,sincehewouldnottellthePoysershisconvictionastowhereHettywasgone,orhisintentiontofollowherthither,hemustbeabletosaytothemthathehadtracedherasfaraspossible。
Itwasaftertwelveo’clockonTuesdaynightwhenAdamreachedTreddleston;and,unwillingtodisturbhismotherandSeth,andalsotoencountertheirquestionsatthathour,hethrewhimselfwithoutundressingonabedatthe\"WaggonOverthrown,\"andslepthardfrompureweariness。Notmorethanfourhours,however,forbeforefiveo’clockhesetoutonhiswayhomeinthefaintmorningtwilight。Healwayskeptakeyoftheworkshopdoorinhispocket,sothathecouldlethimselfin;andhewishedtoenterwithoutawakinghismother,forhewasanxioustoavoidtellingherthenewtroublehimselfbyseeingSethfirst,andaskinghimtotellherwhenitshouldbenecessary。Hewalkedgentlyalongtheyard,andturnedthekeygentlyinthedoor;but,asheexpected,Gyp,wholayintheworkshop,gaveasharpbark。
ItsubsidedwhenhesawAdam,holdinguphisfingerathimtoimposesilence,andinhisdumb,taillessjoyhemustcontenthimselfwithrubbinghisbodyagainsthismaster’slegs。
Adamwastooheart-sicktotakenoticeofGyp’sfondling。Hethrewhimselfonthebenchandstareddullyatthewoodandthesignsofworkaroundhim,wonderingifheshouldevercometofeelpleasureinthemagain,whileGyp,dimlyawarethattherewassomethingwrongwithhismaster,laidhisroughgreyheadonAdam’skneeandwrinkledhisbrowstolookupathim。Hitherto,sinceSundayafternoon,Adamhadbeenconstantlyamongstrangepeopleandinstrangeplaces,havingnoassociationswiththedetailsofhisdailylife,andnowthatbythelightofthisnewmorninghewascomebacktohishomeandsurroundedbythefamiliarobjectsthatseemedforeverrobbedoftheircharm,thereality——thehard,inevitablerealityofhistroublespresseduponhimwithanewweight。Rightbeforehimwasanunfinishedchestofdrawers,whichhehadbeenmakinginsparemomentsforHetty’suse,whenhishomeshouldbehers。
SethhadnotheardAdam’sentrance,buthehadbeenrousedbyGyp’sbark,andAdamheardhimmovingaboutintheroomabove,dressinghimself。Seth’sfirstthoughtswereabouthisbrother:
hewouldcomehometo-day,surely,forthebusinesswouldbewantinghimsadlybyto-morrow,butitwaspleasanttothinkhehadhadalongerholidaythanhehadexpected。AndwouldDinahcometoo?Sethfeltthatthatwasthegreatesthappinesshecouldlookforwardtoforhimself,thoughhehadnohopeleftthatshewouldeverlovehimwellenoughtomarryhim;buthehadoftensaidtohimself,itwasbettertobeDinah’sfriendandbrotherthananyotherwoman’shusband。Ifhecouldbutbealwaysnearher,insteadoflivingsofaroff!
Hecamedownstairsandopenedtheinnerdoorleadingfromthekitchenintotheworkshop,intendingtoletoutGyp;buthestoodstillinthedoorway,smittenwithasuddenshockatthesightofAdamseatedlistlesslyonthebench,pale,unwashed,withsunkenblankeyes,almostlikeadrunkardinthemorning。ButSethfeltinaninstantwhatthemarksmeant——notdrunkenness,butsomegreatcalamity。Adamlookedupathimwithoutspeaking,andSethmovedforwardtowardsthebench,himselftremblingsothatspeechdidnotcomereadily。
\"Godhavemercyonus,Addy,\"hesaid,inalowvoice,sittingdownonthebenchbesideAdam,\"whatisit?\"
Adamwasunabletospeak。Thestrongman,accustomedtosuppressthesignsofsorrow,hadfelthisheartswelllikeachild’satthisfirstapproachofsympathy。HefellonSeth’sneckandsobbed。
Sethwaspreparedfortheworstnow,for,eveninhisrecollectionsoftheirboyhood,Adamhadneversobbedbefore。
\"Isitdeath,Adam?Isshedead?\"heasked,inalowtone,whenAdamraisedhisheadandwasrecoveringhimself。
\"No,lad;butshe’sgone——goneawayfromus。She’sneverbeentoSnowfield。Dinah’sbeengonetoLeedseversincelastFridaywasafortnight,theverydayHettysetout。Ican’tfindoutwhereshewentaftershegottoStoniton。\"
Sethwassilentfromutterastonishment:heknewnothingthatcouldsuggesttohimareasonforHetty’sgoingaway。
\"Hastanynotionwhatshe’sdoneitfor?\"hesaid,atlast。
\"Shecan’tha’lovedme。Shedidn’tlikeourmarriagewhenitcamenigh——thatmustbeit,\"saidAdam。Hehaddeterminedtomentionnofurtherreason。
\"IhearMotherstirring,\"saidSeth。\"Mustwetellher?\"
\"No,notyet,\"saidAdam,risingfromthebenchandpushingthehairfromhisface,asifhewantedtorousehimself。\"Ican’thavehertoldyet;andImustsetoutonanotherjourneydirectly,afterI’vebeentothevillageandth’HallFarm。Ican’ttelltheewhereI’mgoing,andtheemustsaytoherI’mgoneonbusinessasnobodyistoknowanythingabout。I’llgoandwashmyselfnow。\"Adammovedtowardsthedooroftheworkshop,butafterasteportwoheturnedround,and,meetingSeth’seyeswithacalmsadglance,hesaid,\"Imusttakeallthemoneyouto’thetinbox,lad;butifanythinghappenstome,alltherest’llbethine,totakecareo’Motherwith。\"
Sethwaspaleandtrembling:hefelttherewassometerriblesecretunderallthis。\"Brother,\"hesaid,faintly——henevercalledAdam\"Brother\"exceptinsolemnmoments——\"Idon’tbelieveyou’lldoanythingasyoucan’taskGod’sblessingon。\"
\"Nay,lad,\"saidAdam,\"don’tbeafraid。I’mfordoingnoughtbutwhat’saman’sduty。\"
Thethoughtthatifhebetrayedhistroubletohismother,shewouldonlydistresshimbywords,halfofblunderingaffection,halfofirrepressibletriumphthatHettyprovedasunfittobehiswifeasshehadalwaysforeseen,broughtbacksomeofhishabitualfirmnessandself-command。Hehadfeltillonhisjourneyhome——
hetoldherwhenshecamedown——hadstayedallnightatTredddlestonforthatreason;andabadheadache,thatstillhungabouthimthismorning,accountedforhispalenessandheavyeyes。
Hedeterminedtogotothevillage,inthefirstplace,attendtohisbusinessforanhour,andgivenoticetoBurgeofhisbeingobligedtogoonajourney,whichhemustbeghimnottomentiontoanyone;forhewishedtoavoidgoingtotheHallFarmnearbreakfast-time,whenthechildrenandservantswouldbeinthehouse-place,andtheremustbeexclamationsintheirhearingabouthishavingreturnedwithoutHetty。Hewaiteduntiltheclockstruckninebeforeheleftthework-yardatthevillage,andsetoff,throughthefields,towardstheFarm。Itwasanimmenserelieftohim,ashecameneartheHomeClose,toseeMr。Poyseradvancingtowardshim,forthiswouldsparehimthepainofgoingtothehouse。Mr。PoyserwaswalkingbrisklythisMarchmorning,withasenseofspringbusinessonhismind:hewasgoingtocastthemaster’seyeontheshoeingofanewcart-horse,carryinghisspudasausefulcompanionbytheway。HissurprisewasgreatwhenhecaughtsightofAdam,buthewasnotamangiventopresentimentsofevil。
\"Why,Adam,lad,is’tyou?Haveyebeenallthistimeawayandnotbroughtthelassesback,afterall?Wherearethey?\"
\"No,I’venotbrought’em,\"saidAdam,turninground,toindicatethathewishedtowalkbackwithMr。Poyser。
\"Why,\"saidMartin,lookingwithsharperattentionatAdam,\"yelookbad。Isthereanythinghappened?\"
\"Yes,\"saidAdam,heavily。\"Asadthing’shappened。IdidnafindHettyatSnowfield。\"
Mr。Poyser’sgood-naturedfaceshowedsignsoftroubledastonishment。\"Notfindher?What’shappenedtoher?\"hesaid,histhoughtsflyingatoncetobodilyaccident。
\"ThatIcan’ttell,whetheranything’shappenedtoher。SheneverwenttoSnowfield——shetookthecoachtoStoniton,butIcan’tlearnnothingofheraftershegotdownfromtheStonitoncoach。\"
\"Why,youdonnameanshe’srunaway?\"saidMartin,standingstill,sopuzzledandbewilderedthatthefactdidnotyetmakeitselffeltasatroublebyhim。
\"Shemustha’done,\"saidAdam。\"Shedidn’tlikeourmarriagewhenitcametothepoint——thatmustbeit。She’dmistookherfeelings。\"
Martinwassilentforaminuteortwo,lookingonthegroundandrootingupthegrasswithhisspud,withoutknowingwhathewasdoing。Hisusualslownesswasalwaystrebledwhenthesubjectofspeechwaspainful。Atlasthelookedup,rightinAdam’sface,saying,\"Thenshedidnadeservet’ha’ye,mylad。An’Ifeeli’
faultmyself,forshewasmyniece,andIwasallayshotforhermarr’ingye。There’snoamendsIcanmakeye,lad——themore’sthepity:it’sasadcut-upforye,Idoubt。\"
Adamcouldsaynothing;andMr。Poyser,afterpursuinghiswalkforalittlewhile,wenton,\"I’llbeboundshe’sgoneaftertryingtogetalady’smaid’splace,forshe’dgotthatinherheadhalfayearago,andwantedmetogi’myconsent。ButI’dthoughtbetteronher\"——headded,shakinghisheadslowlyandsadly——\"I’dthoughtbetteronher,nortolookforthis,aftershe’dgi’eny’herword,an’everythingbeengotready。\"
AdamhadthestrongestmotivesforencouragingthissuppositioninMr。Poyser,andheeventriedtobelievethatitmightpossiblybetrue。HehadnowarrantforthecertaintythatshewasgonetoArthur。
\"Itwasbetteritshouldbeso,\"hesaid,asquietlyashecould,\"ifshefeltshecouldn’tlikemeforahusband。Betterrunawaybeforethanrepentafter。Ihopeyouwon’tlookharshlyonherifshecomesback,asshemaydoifshefindsithardtogetonawayfromhome。\"
\"IcannalookonherasI’vedonebefore,\"saidMartindecisively。
\"She’sactedbadbyyou,andbyallofus。ButI’llnotturnmybackonher:she’sbutayoungun,andit’sthefirstharmI’veknowedonher。It’llbeahardjobformetotellheraunt。WhydidnaDinahcomebackwi’ye?She’dha’helpedtopacifyherauntabit。\"
\"Dinahwasn’tatSnowfield。She’sbeengonetoLeedsthisfortnight,andIcouldn’tlearnfromth’oldwomananydirectionwheresheisatLeeds,elseIshouldha’broughtityou。\"
\"She’dadealbetterbestayingwi’herownkin,\"saidMr。Poyser,indignantly,\"thangoingpreachingamongstrangefolksa-that’n。\"
\"Imustleaveyounow,Mr。Poyser,\"saidAdam,\"forI’veadealtoseeto。\"
\"Aye,you’dbestbeafteryourbusiness,andImusttellthemissiswhenIgohome。It’sahardjob。\"
\"But,\"saidAdam,\"Ibegparticular,you’llkeepwhat’shappenedquietforaweekortwo。I’venottoldmymotheryet,andthere’snoknowinghowthingsmayturnout。\"
\"Aye,aye;leastsaid,soonestmended。We’nnoneedtosaywhythematchisbrokeoff,an’wemayhearofherafterabit。Shakehandswi’me,lad:IwishIcouldmaketheeamends。\"
TherewassomethinginMartinPoyser’sthroatatthatmomentwhichcausedhimtobringoutthosescantywordsinratherabrokenfashion。YetAdamknewwhattheymeantallthebetter,andthetwohonestmengraspedeachother’shardhandsinmutualunderstanding。
TherewasnothingnowtohinderAdamfromsettingoff。HehadtoldSethtogototheChaseandleaveamessageforthesquire,sayingthatAdamBedehadbeenobligedtostartoffsuddenlyonajourney——andtosayasmuch,andnomore,toanyoneelsewhomadeinquiriesabouthim。IfthePoyserslearnedthathewasgoneawayagain,AdamknewtheywouldinferthathewasgoneinsearchofHetty。
HehadintendedtogorightonhiswayfromtheHallFarm,butnowtheimpulsewhichhadfrequentlyvisitedhimbefore——togotoMr。
Irwine,andmakeaconfidantofhim——recurredwiththenewforcewhichbelongstoalastopportunity。Hewasabouttostartonalongjourney——adifficultone——bysea——andnosoulwouldknowwherehewasgone。Ifanythinghappenedtohim?Or,ifheabsolutelyneededhelpinanymatterconcerningHetty?Mr。Irwinewastobetrusted;andthefeelingwhichmadeAdamshrinkfromtellinganythingwhichwashersecretmustgivewaybeforetheneedtherewasthatsheshouldhavesomeoneelsebesideshimselfwhowouldbepreparedtodefendherintheworstextremity。
TowardsArthur,eventhoughhemighthaveincurrednonewguilt,AdamfeltthathewasnotboundtokeepsilencewhenHetty’sinterestcalledonhimtospeak。
\"Imustdoit,\"saidAdam,whenthesethoughts,whichhadspreadthemselvesthroughhoursofhissadjourneying,nowrusheduponhiminaninstant,likeawavethathadbeenslowlygathering;
\"it’stherightthing。Ican’tstandaloneinthiswayanylonger。\"
TheTidingsADAMturnedhisfacetowardsBroxtonandwalkedwithhisswifteststride,lookingathiswatchwiththefearthatMr。Irwinemightbegoneout——hunting,perhaps。Thefearandhastetogetherproducedastateofstrongexcitementbeforehereachedtherectorygate,andoutsideithesawthedeepmarksofarecenthoofonthegravel。
Butthehoofswereturnedtowardsthegate,notawayfromit,andthoughtherewasahorseagainstthestabledoor,itwasnotMr。
Irwine’s:ithadevidentlyhadajourneythismorning,andmustbelongtosomeonewhohadcomeonbusiness。Mr。Irwinewasathome,then;butAdamcouldhardlyfindbreathandcalmnesstotellCarrollthathewantedtospeaktotherector。Thedoublesufferingofcertainanduncertainsorrowhadbeguntoshakethestrongman。Thebutlerlookedathimwonderingly,ashethrewhimselfonabenchinthepassageandstaredabsentlyattheclockontheoppositewall。Themasterhadsomebodywithhim,hesaid,butheheardthestudydooropen——thestrangerseemedtobecomingout,andasAdamwasinahurry,hewouldletthemasterknowatonce。
Adamsatlookingattheclock:theminute-handwashurryingalongthelastfiveminutestotenwithaloud,hard,indifferenttick,andAdamwatchedthemovementandlistenedtothesoundasifhehadhadsomereasonfordoingso。Inourtimesofbittersufferingtherearealmostalwaysthesepauses,whenourconsciousnessisbenumbedtoeverythingbutsometrivialperceptionorsensation。Itisasifsemi-idiocycametogiveusrestfromthememoryandthedreadwhichrefusetoleaveusinoursleep。
Carroll,comingback,recalledAdamtothesenseofhisburden。
Hewastogointothestudyimmediately。\"Ican’tthinkwhatthatstrangeperson’scomeabout,\"thebutleradded,frommereincontinenceofremark,asheprecededAdamtothedoor,\"he’sgonei’thedining-room。Andmasterlooksunaccountable——asifhewasfrightened。\"Adamtooknonoticeofthewords:hecouldnotcareaboutotherpeople’sbusiness。ButwhenheenteredthestudyandlookedinMr。Irwine’sface,hefeltinaninstantthattherewasanewexpressioninit,strangelydifferentfromthewarmfriendlinessithadalwayswornforhimbefore。Aletterlayopenonthetable,andMr。Irwine’shandwasonit,butthechangedglancehecastonAdamcouldnotbeowingentirelytopreoccupationwithsomedisagreeablebusiness,forhewaslookingeagerlytowardsthedoor,asifAdam’sentrancewereamatterofpoignantanxietytohim。
\"Youwanttospeaktome,Adam,\"hesaid,inthatlowconstrainedlyquiettonewhichamanuseswhenheisdeterminedtosuppressagitation。\"Sitdownhere。\"Hepointedtoachairjustoppositetohim,atnomorethanayard’sdistancefromhisown,andAdamsatdownwithasensethatthiscoldmannerofMr。
Irwine’sgaveanadditionalunexpecteddifficultytohisdisclosure。ButwhenAdamhadmadeuphismindtoameasure,hewasnotthemantorenounceitforanybutimperativereasons。
\"Icometoyou,sir,\"hesaid,\"asthegentlemanIlookuptomostofanybody。I’vesomethingverypainfultotellyou——somethingasit’llpainyoutohearaswellasmetotell。ButifIspeako’
thewrongotherpeoplehavedone,you’llseeIdidn’tspeaktillI’dgoodreason。\"
Mr。Irwinenoddedslowly,andAdamwentonrathertremulously,\"Youwast’ha’marriedmeandHettySorrel,youknow,sir,o’thefifteentho’thismonth。Ithoughtshelovedme,andIwasth’
happiestmani’theparish。Butadreadfulblow’scomeuponme。\"
Mr。Irwinestartedupfromhischair,asifinvoluntarily,butthen,determinedtocontrolhimself,walkedtothewindowandlookedout。
\"She’sgoneaway,sir,andwedon’tknowwhere。ShesaidshewasgoingtoSnowfieldo’Fridaywasafortnight,andIwentlastSundaytofetchherback;butshe’dneverbeenthere,andshetookthecoachtoStoniton,andbeyondthatIcan’ttraceher。ButnowI’mgoingalongjourneytolookforher,andIcan’ttrustt’
anybodybutyouwhereI’mgoing。\"
Mr。Irwinecamebackfromthewindowandsatdown。
\"Haveyounoideaofthereasonwhyshewentaway?\"hesaid。
\"It’splainenoughshedidn’twanttomarryme,sir,\"saidAdam。
\"Shedidn’tlikeitwhenitcamesonear。Butthatisn’tall,I
doubt。There’ssomethingelseImusttellyou,sir。There’ssomebodyelseconcernedbesidesme。\"
Agleamofsomething——itwasalmostlikerelieforjoy——cameacrosstheeageranxietyofMr。Irwine’sfaceatthatmoment。
Adamwaslookingontheground,andpausedalittle:thenextwordswerehardtospeak。Butwhenhewenton,helifteduphisheadandlookedstraightatMr。Irwine。Hewoulddothethinghehadresolvedtodo,withoutflinching。
\"Youknowwho’sthemanI’vereckonedmygreatestfriend,\"hesaid,\"andusedtobeproudtothinkasIshouldpassmylifei’
workingforhim,andhadfeltsoeversincewewerelads……\"
Mr。Irwine,asifallself-controlhadforsakenhim,graspedAdam’sarm,whichlayonthetable,and,clutchingittightlylikeamaninpain,said,withpalelipsandalowhurriedvoice,\"No,Adam,no——don’tsayit,forGod’ssake!\"
Adam,surprisedattheviolenceofMr。Irwine’sfeeling,repentedofthewordsthathadpassedhislipsandsatindistressedsilence。Thegrasponhisarmgraduallyrelaxed,andMr。Irwinethrewhimselfbackinhischair,saying,\"Goon——Imustknowit。\"
\"ThatmanplayedwithHetty’sfeelings,andbehavedtoherashe’dnorighttodotoagirlinherstationo’life——madeherpresentsandusedtogoandmeetherouta-walking。Ifounditoutonlytwodaysbeforehewentaway——foundhima-kissingherastheywerepartingintheGrove。There’dbeennothingsaidbetweenmeandHettythen,thoughI’dlovedherforalongwhile,andsheknewit。ButIreproachedhimwithhiswrongactions,andwordsandblowspassedbetweenus;andhesaidsolemnlytome,afterthat,asithadbeenallnonsenseandnomorethanabito’flirting。
ButImadehimwritealettertotellHettyhe’dmeantnothing,forIsawclearenough,sir,byseveralthingsasIhadn’tunderstoodatthetime,ashe’dgotholdofherheart,andI
thoughtshe’dbelikegoonthinkingofhimandnevercometoloveanothermanaswantedtomarryher。AndIgavehertheletter,andsheseemedtobearitallafterawhilebetterthanI’dexpected……andshebehavedkinderandkindertome……Idaresayshedidn’tknowherownfeelingsthen,poorthing,andtheycamebackuponherwhenitwastoolate……Idon’twanttoblameher……I
can’tthinkasshemeanttodeceiveme。ButIwasencouragedtothinkshelovedme,and——youknowtherest,sir。Butit’sonmymindashe’sbeenfalsetome,and’ticedheraway,andshe’sgonetohim——andI’mgoingnowtosee,forIcannevergotoworkagaintillIknowwhat’sbecomeofher。\"
DuringAdam’snarrative,Mr。Irwinehadhadtimetorecoverhisself-masteryinspiteofthepainfulthoughtsthatcrowdeduponhim。Itwasabitterremembrancetohimnow——thatmorningwhenArthurbreakfastedwithhimandseemedasifhewereonthevergeofaconfession。Itwasplainenoughnowwhathehadwantedtoconfess。Andiftheirwordshadtakenanotherturn……ifhehimselfhadbeenlessfastidiousaboutintrudingonanotherman’ssecrets……itwascrueltothinkhowthinafilmhadshutoutrescuefromallthisguiltandmisery。Hesawthewholehistorynowbythatterribleilluminationwhichthepresentshedsbackuponthepast。Buteveryotherfeelingasitrusheduponhiswasthrownintoabeyancebypity,deeprespectfulpity,forthemanwhosatbeforehim——alreadysobruised,goingforthwithsadblindresignednesstoanunrealsorrow,whilearealonewascloseuponhim,toofarbeyondtherangeofcommontrialforhimevertohavefearedit。Hisownagitationwasquelledbyacertainawethatcomesoverusinthepresenceofagreatanguish,fortheanguishhemustinflictonAdamwasalreadypresenttohim。Againheputhishandonthearmthatlayonthetable,butverygentlythistime,ashesaidsolemnly:
\"Adam,mydearfriend,youhavehadsomehardtrialsinyourlife。
Youcanbearsorrowmanfully,aswellasactmanfully。Godrequiresbothtasksatourhands。Andthereisaheaviersorrowcominguponyouthananyyouhaveyetknown。Butyouarenotguilty——youhavenottheworstofallsorrows。Godhelphimwhohas!\"
Thetwopalefaceslookedateachother;inAdam’stherewastremblingsuspense,inMr。Irwine’shesitating,shrinkingpity。
Buthewenton。
\"IhavehadnewsofHettythismorning。Sheisnotgonetohim。
SheisinStonyshire——atStoniton。\"
Adamstartedupfromhischair,asifhethoughthecouldhaveleapedtoherthatmoment。ButMr。Irwinelaidholdofhisarmagainandsaid,persuasively,\"Wait,Adam,wait。\"Sohesatdown。
\"Sheisinaveryunhappyposition——onewhichwillmakeitworseforyoutofindher,mypoorfriend,thantohavelostherforever。\"
Adam’slipsmovedtremulously,butnosoundcame。Theymovedagain,andhewhispered,\"Tellme。\"
\"Shehasbeenarrested……sheisinprison。\"
ItwasasifaninsultingblowhadbroughtbackthespiritofresistanceintoAdam。Thebloodrushedtohisface,andhesaid,loudlyandsharply,\"Forwhat?\"
\"Foragreatcrime——themurderofherchild。\"
\"ItCAN’TBE!\"Adamalmostshouted,startingupfromhiscnairandmakingastridetowardsthedoor;butheturnedroundagain,settinghisbackagainstthebookcase,andlookingfiercelyatMr。
Irwine。\"Itisn’tpossible。Sheneverhadachild。Shecan’tbeguilty。WHOsaysit?\"
\"Godgrantshemaybeinnocent,Adam。Wecanstillhopesheis。\"
\"Butwhosayssheisguilty?\"saidAdamviolently。\"Tellmeeverything。\"
\"Hereisaletterfromthemagistratebeforewhomshewastaken,andtheconstablewhoarrestedherisinthedining-room。Shewillnotconfesshernameorwhereshecomesfrom;butIfear,I
fear,therecanbenodoubtitisHetty。Thedescriptionofherpersoncorresponds,onlythatsheissaidtolookverypaleandill。Shehadasmallred-leatherpocket-bookinherpocketwithtwonameswritteninit——oneatthebeginning,’HettySorrel,Hayslope,’andtheotherneartheend,’DinahMorris,Snowfield。’
Shewillnotsaywhichisherownname——shedenieseverything,andwillanswernoquestions,andapplicationhasbeenmadetome,asamagistrate,thatImaytakemeasuresforidentifyingher,foritwasthoughtprobablethatthenamewhichstandsfirstisherownname。\"
\"Butwhatproofhavetheygotagainsther,ifitISHetty?\"saidAdam,stillviolently,withaneffortthatseemedtoshakehiswholeframe。\"I’llnotbelieveit。Itcouldn’tha’been,andnoneofusknowit。\"
\"Terribleproofthatshewasunderthetemptationtocommitthecrime;butwehaveroomtohopethatshedidnotreallycommitit。
Tryandreadthatletter,Adam。\"
Adamtooktheletterbetweenhisshakinghandsandtriedtofixhiseyessteadilyonit。Mr。Irwinemeanwhilewentouttogivesomeorders。Whenhecameback,Adam’seyeswerestillonthefirstpage——hecouldn’tread——hecouldnotputthewordstogetherandmakeoutwhattheymeant。Hethrewitdownatlastandclenchedhisfist。
\"It’sHISdoing,\"hesaid;\"ifthere’sbeenanycrime,it’sathisdoor,notathers。HEtaughthertodeceive——HEdeceivedmefirst。Let’emputHIMonhistrial——lethimstandincourtbesideher,andI’lltell’emhowhegotholdofherheart,and’ticedhert’evil,andthenliedtome。IsHEtogofree,whiletheylayallthepunishmentonher……soweakandyoung?\"
TheimagecalledupbytheselastwordsgaveanewdirectiontopoorAdam’smaddenedfeelings。Hewassilent,lookingatthecorneroftheroomasifhesawsomethingthere。Thenheburstoutagain,inatoneofappealinganguish,\"Ican’tbearit……O
God,it’stoohardtolayuponme——it’stoohardtothinkshe’swicked。\"
Mr。Irwinehadsatdownagaininsilence。Hewastoowisetouttersoothingwordsatpresent,andindeed,thesightofAdambeforehim,withthatlookofsuddenagewhichsometimescomesoverayoungfaceinmomentsofterribleemotion——thehardbloodlesslookoftheskin,thedeeplinesaboutthequiveringmouth,thefurrowsinthebrow——thesightofthisstrongfirmmanshatteredbytheinvisiblestrokeofsorrow,movedhimsodeeplythatspeechwasnoteasy。Adamstoodmotionless,withhiseyesvacantlyfixedinthiswayforaminuteortwo;inthatshortspacehewaslivingthroughallhisloveagain。
\"Shecan’tha’doneit,\"hesaid,stillwithoutmovinghiseyes,asifhewereonlytalkingtohimself:\"itwasfearmadeherhideit……Iforgiveherfordeceivingme……Iforgivethee,Hetty……theewastdeceivedtoo……it’sgonehardwi’thee,mypoorHetty……butthey’llnevermakemebelieveit。\"
Hewassilentagainforafewmoments,andthenhesaid,withfierceabruptness,\"I’llgotohim——I’llbringhimback——I’llmakehimgoandlookatherinhermisery——heshalllookathertillhecan’tforgetit——itshallfollowhimnightandday——aslongashelivesitshallfollowhim——heshan’tescapewi’liesthistime——
I’llfetchhim,I’lldraghimmyself。\"
Intheactofgoingtowardsthedoor,Adampausedautomaticallyandlookedaboutforhishat,quiteunconsciouswherehewasorwhowaspresentwithhim。Mr。Irwinehadfollowedhim,andnowtookhimbythearm,saying,inaquietbutdecidedtone,\"No,Adam,no;I’msureyouwillwishtostayandseewhatgoodcanbedoneforher,insteadofgoingonauselesserrandofvengeance。
Thepunishmentwillsurelyfallwithoutyouraid。Besides,heisnolongerinIreland。Hemustbeonhiswayhome——orwouldbe,longbeforeyouarrived,forhisgrandfather,Iknow,wroteforhimtocomeatleasttendaysago。IwantyounowtogowithmetoStoniton。Ihaveorderedahorseforyoutoridewithus,assoonasyoucancomposeyourself。\"
WhileMr。Irwinewasspeaking,Adamrecoveredhisconsciousnessoftheactualscene。Herubbedhishairoffhisforeheadandlistened。
\"Remember,\"Mr。Irwinewenton,\"thereareotherstothinkof,andactfor,besidesyourself,Adam:thereareHetty’sfriends,thegoodPoysers,onwhomthisstrokewillfallmoreheavilythanI
canbeartothink。Iexpectitfromyourstrengthofmind,Adam——
fromyoursenseofdutytoGodandman——thatyouwilltrytoactaslongasactioncanbeofanyuse。\"
Inreality,Mr。IrwineproposedthisjourneytoStonitonforAdam’sownsake。Movement,withsomeobjectbeforehim,wasthebestmeansofcounteractingtheviolenceofsufferinginthesefirsthours。
\"YouwillgowithmetoStoniton,Adam?\"hesaidagain,afteramoment’spause。\"WehavetoseeifitisreallyHettywhoisthere,youknow。\"
\"Yes,sir,\"saidAdam,\"I’lldowhatyouthinkright。Butthefolksatth’HallFarm?\"
\"IwishthemnottoknowtillIreturntotellthemmyself。I
shallhaveascertainedthingsthenwhichIamuncertainaboutnow,andIshallreturnassoonaspossible。Comenow,thehorsesareready。\"
TheBitterWatersSpreadMR。IRWINEreturnedfromStonitoninapost-chaisethatnight,andthefirstwordsCarrollsaidtohim,asheenteredthehouse,were,thatSquireDonnithornewasdead——founddeadinhisbedatteno’clockthatmorning——andthatMrs。IrwinedesiredhimtosaysheshouldbeawakewhenMr。Irwinecamehome,andshebeggedhimnottogotobedwithoutseeingher。
\"Well,Dauphin,\"Mrs。Irwinesaid,ashersonenteredherroom,\"you’recomeatlast。Sotheoldgentleman’sfidgetinessandlowspirits,whichmadehimsendforArthurinthatsuddenway,reallymeantsomething。IsupposeCarrollhastoldyouthatDonnithornewasfounddeadinhisbedthismorning。Youwillbelievemyprognosticationsanothertime,thoughIdaresayIshan’tlivetoprognosticateanythingbutmyowndeath。\"
\"WhathavetheydoneaboutArthur?\"saidMr。Irwine。\"SentamessengertoawaithimatLiverpool?\"
\"Yes,Ralphwasgonebeforethenewswasbroughttous。DearArthur,IshalllivenowtoseehimmasterattheChase,andmakinggoodtimesontheestate,likeagenerous-heartedfellowasheis。He’llbeashappyasakingnow。\"
Mr。Irwinecouldnothelpgivingaslightgroan:hewaswornwithanxietyandexertion,andhismother’slightwordswerealmostintolerable。
\"Whatareyousodismalabout,Dauphin?Isthereanybadnews?
OrareyouthinkingofthedangerforArthurincrossingthatfrightfulIrishChannelatthistimeofyear?\"
\"No,Mother,I’mnotthinkingofthat;butI’mnotpreparedtorejoicejustnow。\"
\"You’vebeenworriedbythislawbusinessthatyou’vebeentoStonitonabout。Whatintheworldisit,thatyoucan’ttellme?\"
\"Youwillknowbyandby,mother。Itwouldnotberightformetotellyouatpresent。Good-night:you’llsleepnowyouhavenolongeranythingtolistenfor。\"
Mr。IrwinegaveuphisintentionofsendingalettertomeetArthur,sinceitwouldnotnowhastenhisreturn:thenewsofhisgrandfather’sdeathwouldbringhimassoonashecouldpossiblycome。Hecouldgotobednowandgetsomeneedfulrest,beforethetimecameforthemorning’sheavydutyofcarryinghissickeningnewstotheHallFarmandtoAdam’shome。
AdamhimselfwasnotcomebackfromStoniton,forthoughheshrankfromseeingHetty,hecouldnotbeartogotoadistancefromheragain。
\"It’snouse,sir,\"hesaidtotherector,\"it’snouseformetogoback。Ican’tgotoworkagainwhileshe’shere,andI
couldn’tbearthesighto’thethingsandfolksroundhome。I’lltakeabitofaroomhere,whereIcanseetheprisonwalls,andperhapsIshallget,intime,tobearseeingher。\"
AdamhadnotbeenshakeninhisbeliefthatHettywasinnocentofthecrimeshewaschargedwith,forMr。Irwine,feelingthatthebeliefinherguiltwouldbeacrushingadditiontoAdam’sload,hadkeptfromhimthefactswhichleftnohopeinhisownmind。
TherewasnotanyreasonforthrustingthewholeburdenonAdamatonce,andMr。Irwine,atparting,onlysaid,\"Iftheevidenceshouldtelltoostronglyagainsther,Adam,wemaystillhopeforapardon。Heryouthandothercircumstanceswillbeapleaforher。\"
\"Ah,andit’srightpeopleshouldknowhowshewastemptedintothewrongway,\"saidAdam,withbitterearnestness。\"It’srighttheyshouldknowitwasafinegentlemanmadelovetoher,andturnedherheadwi’notions。You’llremember,sir,you’vepromisedtotellmymother,andSeth,andthepeopleatthefarm,whoitwasasledherwrong,elsethey’llthinkharderofherthanshedeserves。You’llbedoingherahurtbysparinghim,andI
holdhimtheguiltiestbeforeGod,letherha’donewhatshemay。
Ifyousparehim,I’llexposehim!\"
\"Ithinkyourdemandisjust,Adam,\"saidMr。Irwine,\"butwhenyouarecalmer,youwilljudgeArthurmoremercifully。Isaynothingnow,onlythathispunishmentisinotherhandsthanours。\"
Mr。IrwinefeltitharduponhimthatheshouldhavetotellofArthur’ssadpartinthestoryofsinandsorrow——hewhocaredforArthurwithfatherlyaffection,whohadcaredforhimwithfatherlypride。Buthesawclearlythatthesecretmustbeknownbeforelong,evenapartfromAdam’sdetermination,sinceitwasscarcelytobesupposedthatHettywouldpersisttotheendinherobstinatesilence。HemadeuphismindtowithholdnothingfromthePoysers,buttotellthemtheworstatonce,fortherewasnotimetorobthetidingsoftheirsuddenness。Hetty’strialmustcomeonattheLentassizes,andtheyweretobeheldatStonitonthenextweek。ItwasscarcelytobehopedthatMartinPoysercouldescapethepainofbeingcalledasawitness,anditwasbetterheshouldknoweverythingaslongbeforehandaspossible。
Beforeteno’clockonThursdaymorningthehomeattheHallFarmwasahouseofmourningforamisfortunefelttobeworsethandeath。Thesenseoffamilydishonourwastookeeneveninthekind-heartedMartinPoysertheyoungertoleaveroomforanycompassiontowardsHetty。Heandhisfatherweresimple-mindedfarmers,proudoftheiruntarnishedcharacter,proudthattheycameofafamilywhichhadheldupitsheadandpaiditswayasfarbackasitsnamewasintheparishregister;andHettyhadbroughtdisgraceonthemall——disgracethatcouldneverbewipedout。Thatwastheall-conqueringfeelinginthemindbothoffatherandson——thescorchingsenseofdisgrace,whichneutralisedallothersensibility——andMr。IrwinewasstruckwithsurprisetoobservethatMrs。Poyserwaslessseverethanherhusband。Weareoftenstartledbytheseverityofmildpeopleonexceptionaloccasions;thereasonis,thatmildpeoplearemostliabletobeundertheyokeoftraditionalimpressions。
\"I’mwillingtopayanymoneyasiswantedtowardstryingtobringheroff,\"saidMartintheyoungerwhenMr。Irwinewasgone,whiletheoldgrandfatherwascryingintheoppositechair,\"butI’llnotgonighher,noreverseeheragain,bymyownwill。She’smadeourbreadbittertousforallourlivestocome,an’weshallne’erholdupourheadsi’thisparishnori’anyother。
Theparsontalkso’folkspityingus:it’spooramendspity’ullmakeus。\"
\"Pity?\"saidthegrandfather,sharply。\"Ine’erwantedfolks’spityi’MYlifeafore……an’Imunbegintobelookeddownonnow,an’meturnedseventy-twolastSt。Thomas’s,an’allth’
underbearersandpall-bearersasI’npickedformyfuneralarei’
thisparishandthenextto’t……It’so’nousenow……Imunbeta’entothegravebystrangers。\"
\"Don’tfretso,father,\"saidMrs。Poyser,whohadspokenverylittle,beingalmostoverawedbyherhusband’sunusualhardnessanddecision。\"You’llhaveyourchildrenwi’you;an’there’stheladsandthelittleun’ullgrowupinanewparishaswellasi’
th’oldun。\"
\"Ah,there’snostayingi’thiscountryforusnow,\"saidMr。
Poyser,andthehardtearstrickledslowlydownhisroundcheeks。
\"Wethoughtit’udbebadluckiftheoldsquiregaveusnoticethisLadyday,butImustgi’noticemyselfnow,an’seeiftherecananybodybegottocomean’taketothecropsasI’nputi’theground;forIwonnastayupo’thatman’slandadaylongernorI’mforcedto’t。An’me,asthoughthimsuchagooduprightyoungman,asIshouldbegladwhenhecometobeourlandlord。I’llne’erliftmyhattohimagain,norsiti’thesamechurchwi’
him……amanashasbroughtshameonrespectablefolks……an’
pretendedtobesuchafriendt’everybody……PoorAdamthere……afinefriendhe’sbeent’Adam,makingspeechesan’talkingsofine,an’allthewhilepoisoningthelad’slife,asit’smuchifhecanstayi’thiscountryanymorenorwecan。\"
\"An’yout’ha’togointocourt,andownyou’reakint’her,\"
saidtheoldman。\"Why,they’llcastituptothelittleun,asisn’tfour’earold,someday——they’llcastitupt’herasshe’dacousintriedatthe’sizesformurder。\"
\"It’llbetheirownwickedness,then,\"saidMrs。Poyser,withasobinhervoice。\"Butthere’sOneabove’ulltakecareo’theinnicentchild,elseit’sbutlittletruththeytellusatchurch。
It’llbehardernorevertodiean’leavethelittleuns,an’
nobodytobeamotherto’em。\"
\"We’dbetterha’sentforDinah,ifwe’dknownwheresheis,\"saidMr。Poyser;\"butAdamsaidshe’dleftnodirectionwhereshe’dbeatLeeds。\"
\"Why,she’dbewi’thatwomanaswasafriendt’herAuntJudith,\"
saidMrs。Poyser,comfortedalittlebythissuggestionofherhusbands。\"I’veoftenheardDinahtalkofher,butIcan’trememberwhatnameshecalledherby。Butthere’sSethBede;he’slikeenoughtoknow,forshe’sapreachingwomanastheMethodiststhinkadealon。\"
\"I’llsendtoSeth,\"saidMr。Poyser。\"I’llsendAlicktotellhimtocome,orelsetosendupwordo’thewoman’sname,an’theecanstwritealetterreadytosendofftoTreddles’onassoonaswecanmakeoutadirection。\"
\"It’spoorworkwritingletterswhenyouwantfolkstocometoyoui’trouble,\"saidMrs。Poyser。\"Happenit’llbeeversolongontheroad,an’neverreachheratlast。\"
BeforeAlickarrivedwiththemessage,Lisbeth’sthoughtstoohadalreadyflowntoDinah,andshehadsaidtoSeth,\"Eh,there’snocomfortforusi’thisworldanymore,wi’outtheecouldstgetDinahMorristocometous,asshedidwhenmyoldmandied。I’dlikehertocomeinan’takemebyth’handagain,an’talktome。
She’dtellmetherightson’t,belike——she’dhappenknowsomegoodi’allthistroublean’heart-breakcomin’upo’thatpoorlad,asne’erdoneabito’wrongin’slife,butwarbetternoranybodyelse’sson,pickthecountryround。Eh,mylad……Adam,mypoorlad!\"
\"Theewouldstnalikemetoleavethee,togoandfetchDinah?\"
saidSeth,ashismothersobbedandrockedherselftoandfro。
\"Fetchher?\"saidLisbeth,lookingupandpausingfromhergrief,likeacryingchildwhohearssomepromiseofconsolation。\"Why,whatplaceis’tshe’sat,dotheysay?\"
\"It’sagoodwayoff,mother——Leeds,abigtown。ButIcouldbebackinthreedays,iftheecouldstspareme。\"
\"Nay,nay,Icannasparethee。Theemustgoan’seethybrother,an’bringmewordwhathe’sa-doin’。MesterIrwinesaidhe’dcomean’tellme,butIcannamakeoutsowellwhatitmeanswhenhetellsme。Theemustgothysen,sin’Adamwonnaletmegotohim。
WritealettertoDinahcanstna?Thee’tfondenougho’writin’
whennobodywantsthee。\"
\"I’mnotsurewhereshe’dbei’thatbigtown,\"saidSeth。\"IfI’dgonemyself,Icouldha’foundoutbyaskingthememberso’
theSociety。ButperhapsifIputSarahWilliamson,Methodistpreacher,Leeds,o’th’outside,itmightgettoher;formostlikeshe’dbewi’SarahWilliamson。\"
Alickcamenowwiththemessage,andSeth,findingthatMrs。
PoyserwaswritingtoDinah,gaveuptheintentionofwritinghimself;buthewenttotheHallFarmtotellthemallhecouldsuggestabouttheaddressoftheletter,andwarnthemthattheremightbesomedelayinthedelivery,fromhisnotknowinganexactdirection。
OnleavingLisbeth,Mr。IrwinehadgonetoJonathanBurge,whohadalsoaclaimtobeacquaintedwithwhatwaslikelytokeepAdamawayfrombusinessforsometime;andbeforesixo’clockthateveningtherewerefewpeopleinBroxtonandHayslopewhohadnotheardthesadnews。Mr。IrwinehadnotmentionedArthur’snametoBurge,andyetthestoryofhisconducttowardsHetty,withallthedarkshadowscastuponitbyitsterribleconsequences,waspresentlyaswellknownasthathisgrandfatherwasdead,andthathewascomeintotheestate。ForMartinPoyserfeltnomotivetokeepsilencetowardstheoneortwoneighbourswhoventuredtocomeandshakehimsorrowfullybythehandonthefirstdayofhistrouble;andCarroll,whokepthisearsopentoallthatpassedattherectory,hadframedaninferentialversionofthestory,andfoundearlyopportunitiesofcommunicatingit。
OneofthoseneighbourswhocametoMartinPoyserandshookhimbythehandwithoutspeakingforsomeminuteswasBartleMassey。Hehadshutuphisschool,andwasonhiswaytotherectory,wherehearrivedabouthalf-pastsevenintheevening,and,sendinghisdutytoMr。Irwine,beggedpardonfortroublinghimatthathour,buthadsomethingparticularonhismind。Hewasshownintothestudy,whereMr。Irwinesoonjoinedhim。
\"Well,Bartle?\"saidMr。Irwine,puttingouthishand。Thatwasnothisusualwayofsalutingtheschoolmaster,buttroublemakesustreatallwhofeelwithusverymuchalike。\"Sitdown。\"
\"YouknowwhatI’mcomeaboutaswellasIdo,sir,Idaresay,\"
saidBartle。
\"Youwishtoknowthetruthaboutthesadnewsthathasreachedyou……aboutHettySorrel?\"
\"Nay,sir,whatIwishtoknowisaboutAdamBede。IunderstandyoulefthimatStoniton,andIbegthefavourofyoutotellmewhat’sthestateofthepoorlad’smind,andwhathemeanstodo。
Forasforthatbito’pink-and-whitethey’vetakenthetroubletoputinjail,Idon’tvalueherarottennut——notarottennut——
onlyfortheharmorgoodthatmaycomeoutofhertoanhonestman——aladI’vesetsuchstoreby——trustedto,thathe’dmakemybito’knowledgegoagoodwayintheworld……Why,sir,he’stheonlyscholarI’vehadinthisstupidcountrythateverhadthewillorthehead-pieceformathematics。Ifhehadn’thadsomuchhardworktodo,poorfellow,hemighthavegoneintothehigherbranches,andthenthismightneverhavehappened——mightneverhavehappened。\"
Bartlewasheatedbytheexertionofwalkingfastinanagitatedframeofmind,andwasnotabletocheckhimselfonthisfirstoccasionofventinghisfeelings。Buthepausednowtorubhismoistforehead,andprobablyhismoisteyesalso。
\"You’llexcuseme,sir,\"hesaid,whenthispausehadgivenhimtimetoreflect,\"forrunningoninthiswayaboutmyownfeelings,likethatfoolishdogofminehowlinginastorm,whenthere’snobodywantstolistentome。Icametohearyouspeak,nottotalkmyself——ifyou’lltakethetroubletotellmewhatthepoorlad’sdoing。\"
\"Don’tputyourselfunderanyrestraint,Bartle,\"saidMr。Irwine。
\"Thefactis,I’mverymuchinthesameconditionasyoujustnow;