JohnDouglasSpeaksatLastAnnewasnotwithoutafeeblehopethatsomethingmightcomeofitafterall。Butnothingdid。JohnDouglascameandtookJanetdriving,andwalkedhomefromprayer-meetingwithher,ashehadbeendoingfortwentyyears,andasheseemedlikelytodofortwentyyearsmore。Thesummerwaned。Annetaughtherschoolandwrotelettersandstudiedalittle。Herwalkstoandfromschoolwerepleasant。Shealwayswentbywayoftheswamp;itwasalovelyplace——aboggysoil,greenwiththegreenestofmossyhillocks;asilverybrookmeanderedthroughitandsprucesstooderectly,theirboughsa-trailwithgray-greenmosses,theirrootsovergrownwithallsortsofwoodlandlovelinesses。
Nevertheless,AnnefoundlifeinValleyRoadalittlemonotonous。
Tobesure,therewasonedivertingincident。
Shehadnotseenthelank,tow-headedSamuelofthepeppermintssincetheeveningofhiscall,saveforchancemeetingsontheroad。
ButonewarmAugustnightheappeared,andsolemnlyseatedhimselfontherusticbenchbytheporch。Heworehisusualworkinghabiliments,consistingofvaripatchedtrousers,abluejeanshirt,outattheelbows,andaraggedstrawhat。HewaschewingastrawandhekeptonchewingitwhilehelookedsolemnlyatAnne。Annelaidherbookasidewithasighandtookupherdoily。ConversationwithSamwasreallyoutofthequestion。
AfteralongsilenceSamsuddenlyspoke。
\"I’mleavingoverthere,\"hesaidabruptly,wavinghisstrawinthedirectionoftheneighboringhouse。
\"Oh,areyou?\"saidAnnepolitely。
\"Yep。\"
\"Andwhereareyougoingnow?\"
\"Wall,I’vebeenthinkingsomeofgittingaplaceofmyown。
There’sonethat’dsuitmeoveratMillersville。ButefIrentsitI’llwantawoman。\"
\"Isupposeso,\"saidAnnevaguely。
\"Yep。\"
Therewasanotherlongsilence。FinallySamremovedhisstrawagainandsaid,\"Willyehhevme?\"
\"Wh——a——t!\"gaspedAnne。
\"Willyehhevme?\"
\"Doyoumean——MARRYyou?\"queriedpoorAnnefeebly。
\"Yep。\"
\"Why,I’mhardlyacquaintedwithyou,\"criedAnneindignantly。
\"Butyeh’dgitacquaintedwithmeafterwewasmarried,\"saidSam。
Annegatheredupherpoordignity。
\"CertainlyIwon’tmarryyou,\"shesaidhaughtily。
\"Wall,yehmightdoworse,\"expostulatedSam。\"I’magoodworkerandI’vegotsomemoneyinthebank。\"
\"Don’tspeakofthistomeagain。Whateverputsuchanideaintoyourhead?\"saidAnne,hersenseofhumorgettingthebetterofherwrath。Itwassuchanabsurdsituation。
\"Yeh’realikely-lookinggirlandhevaright-smartwayo’stepping,\"
saidSam。\"Idon’twantnolazywoman。Thinkitover。Iwon’tchangemymindyitawhile。Wall,Imustbegitting。Gottermilkthecows。\"
Anne’sillusionsconcerningproposalshadsufferedsomuchoflateyearsthattherewerefewofthemleft。Soshecouldlaughwholeheartedlyoverthisone,notfeelinganysecretsting。ShemimickedpoorSamtoJanetthatnight,andbothofthemlaughedimmoderatelyoverhisplungeintosentiment。
Oneafternoon,whenAnne’ssojourninValleyRoadwasdrawingtoaclose,AlecWardcamedrivingdownto\"Wayside\"inhothasteforJanet。
\"TheywantyouattheDouglasplacequick,\"hesaid。\"IreallybelieveoldMrs。Douglasisgoingtodieatlast,afterpretendingtodoitfortwentyyears。\"
Janetrantogetherhat。AnneaskedifMrs。Douglaswasworsethanusual。
\"She’snothalfasbad,\"saidAlecsolemnly,\"andthat’swhatmakesmethinkit’sserious。Othertimesshe’dbescreamingandthrowingherselfallovertheplace。Thistimeshe’slyingstillandmum。WhenMrs。Douglasismumsheisprettysick,youbet。\"
\"Youdon’tlikeoldMrs。Douglas?\"saidAnnecuriously。
\"IlikecatsasIScats。Idon’tlikecatsasiswomen,\"wasAlec’scrypticreply。
Janetcamehomeinthetwilight。
\"Mrs。Douglasisdead,\"shesaidwearily。\"ShediedsoonafterIgotthere。Shejustspoketomeonce——`Isupposeyou’llmarryJohnnow?’shesaid。Itcutmetotheheart,Anne。
TothinkJohn’sownmotherthoughtIwouldn’tmarryhimbecauseofher!Icouldn’tsayawordeither——therewereotherwomenthere。IwasthankfulJohnhadgoneout。\"
Janetbegantocrydrearily。ButAnnebrewedherahotdrinkofgingerteatohercomforting。Tobesure,Annediscoveredlateronthatshehadusedwhitepepperinsteadofginger;butJanetneverknewthedifference。
TheeveningafterthefuneralJanetandAnneweresittingonthefrontporchstepsatsunset。Thewindhadfallenasleepinthepinelandsandluridsheetsofheat-lightningflickeredacrossthenorthernskies。Janetworeheruglyblackdressandlookedherveryworst,hereyesandnoseredfromcrying。Theytalkedlittle,forJanetseemedfaintlytoresentAnne’seffortstocheerherup。Sheplainlypreferredtobemiserable。
Suddenlythegate-latchclickedandJohnDouglasstrodeintothegarden。Hewalkedtowardsthemstraightoverthegeraniumbed。
Janetstoodup。SodidAnne。Annewasatallgirlandworeawhitedress;butJohnDouglasdidnotseeher。
\"Janet,\"hesaid,\"willyoumarryme?\"
ThewordsburstoutasiftheyhadbeenwantingtobesaidfortwentyyearsandMUSTbeutterednow,beforeanythingelse。
Janet’sfacewassoredfromcryingthatitcouldn’tturnanyredder,soitturnedamostunbecomingpurple。
\"Whydidn’tyouaskmebefore?\"shesaidslowly。
\"Icouldn’t。Shemademepromisenotto——mothermademepromisenotto。Nineteenyearsagoshetookaterriblespell。
Wethoughtshecouldn’tlivethroughit。Sheimploredmetopromisenottoaskyoutomarrymewhileshewasalive。Ididn’twanttopromisesuchathing,eventhoughweallthoughtshecouldn’tliveverylong——thedoctoronlygavehersixmonths。
Butshebeggeditonherknees,sickandsuffering。Ihadtopromise。\"
\"Whathadyourmotheragainstme?\"criedJanet。
\"Nothing——nothing。Shejustdidn’twantanotherwoman——ANYwoman——therewhileshewasliving。ShesaidifI
didn’tpromiseshe’ddierightthereandI’dhavekilledher。
SoIpromised。Andshe’sheldmetothatpromiseeversince,thoughI’vegoneonmykneestoherinmyturntobeghertoletmeff。\"
\"Whydidn’tyoutellmethis?\"askedJanetchokingly。
\"IfI’donlyKNOWN!Whydidn’tyoujusttellme?\"
\"ShemademepromiseIwouldn’ttellasoul,\"saidJohnhoarsely。
\"ShesworemetoitontheBible;Janet,I’dneverhavedoneitifI’ddreameditwastobeforsolong。Janet,you’llneverknowwhatI’vesufferedthesenineteenyears。IknowI’vemadeyousuffer,too,butyou’llmarrymeforall,won’tyou,Janet?
Oh,Janet,won’tyou?I’vecomeassoonasIcouldtoaskyou。\"
AtthismomentthestupefiedAnnecametohersensesandrealizedthatshehadnobusinesstobethere。SheslippedawayanddidnotseeJanetuntilthenextmorning,whenthelattertoldhertherestofthestory。
\"Thatcruel,relentless,deceitfuloldwoman!\"criedAnne。
\"Hush——she’sdead,\"saidJanetsolemnly。\"Ifshewasn’t——butsheIS。
Sowemustn’tspeakevilofher。ButI’mhappyatlast,Anne。AndI
wouldn’thavemindedwaitingsolongabitifI’donlyknownwhy。\"
\"Whenareyoutobemarried?\"
\"Nextmonth。Ofcourseitwillbeveryquiet。Isupposepeoplewilltalkterrible。They’llsayImadeenoughhastetosnapJohnupassoonashispoormotherwasoutoftheway。JohnwantedtoletthemknowthetruthbutIsaid,`No,John;afterallshewasyourmother,andwe’llkeepthesecretbetweenus,andnotcastanyshadowonhermemory。Idon’tmindwhatpeoplesay,nowthatIknowthetruthmyself。Itdon’tmatteramite。Letitallbeburiedwiththedead’saysItohim。SoIcoaxedhimroundtoagreewithme。\"
\"You’remuchmoreforgivingthanIcouldeverbe,\"Annesaid,rathercrossly。
\"You’llfeeldifferentlyaboutagoodmanythingswhenyougettobemyage,\"saidJanettolerantly。\"That’soneofthethingswelearnaswegrowolder——howtoforgive。Itcomeseasieratfortythanitdidattwenty。\"
ChapterXXXV
TheLastRedmondYearOpens\"Hereweare,allbackagain,nicelysunburnedandrejoicingasastrongmantorunarace,\"saidPhil,sittingdownonasuitcasewithasighofpleasure。\"Isn’titjollytoseethisdearoldPatty’sPlaceagain——andAunty——andthecats?Rustyhaslostanotherpieceofear,hasn’the?\"
\"Rustywouldbethenicestcatintheworldifhehadnoearsatall,\"
declaredAnneloyallyfromhertrunk,whileRustywrithedaboutherlapinafrenzyofwelcome。
\"Aren’tyougladtoseeusback,Aunty?\"demandedPhil。
\"Yes。ButIwishyou’dtidythingsup,\"saidAuntJamesinaplaintively,lookingatthewildernessoftrunksandsuitcasesbywhichthefourlaughing,chatteringgirlsweresurrounded。\"Youcantalkjustaswelllateron。WorkfirstandthenplayusedtobemymottowhenIwasagirl。\"
\"Oh,we’vejustreversedthatinthisgeneration,Aunty。
OURmottoisplayyourplayandthendigin。Youcandoyourworksomuchbetterifyou’vehadagoodboutofplayfirst。\"
\"Ifyouaregoingtomarryaminister,\"saidAuntJamesina,pickingupJosephandherknittingandresigningherselftotheinevitablewiththecharminggracethatmadeherthequeenofhousemothers,\"youwillhavetogiveupsuchexpressionsas`digin。’\"
\"Why?\"moanedPhil。\"Oh,whymustaminister’swifebesupposedtoutteronlyprunesandprisms?Ishan’t。EverybodyonPattersonStreetusesslang——thatistosay,metaphoricallanguage——andifIdidn’ttheywouldthinkmeinsufferablyproudandstuckup。\"
\"Haveyoubrokenthenewstoyourfamily?\"askedPriscilla,feedingtheSarah-catbitsfromherlunchbasket。
Philnodded。
\"Howdidtheytakeit?\"
\"Oh,motherrampaged。ButIstoodrockfirm——evenI,PhilippaGordon,whoneverbeforecouldholdfasttoanything。Fatherwascalmer。
Father’sowndaddywasaminister,soyouseehehasasoftspotinhisheartforthecloth。IhadJouptoMountHolly,aftermothergrewcalm,andtheybothlovedhim。Butmothergavehimsomefrightfulhintsineveryconversationregardingwhatshehadhopedforme。Oh,myvacationpathwayhasn’tbeenexactlystrewnwithroses,girlsdear。
But——I’vewonoutandI’vegotJo。Nothingelsematters。\"
\"Toyou,\"saidAuntJamesinadarkly。
\"NortoJo,either,\"retortedPhil。\"Youkeeponpityinghim。
Why,pray?Ithinkhe’stobeenvied。He’sgettingbrains,beauty,andaheartofgoldinME。\"
\"It’swellweknowhowtotakeyourspeeches,\"saidAuntJamesinapatiently。\"Ihopeyoudon’ttalklikethatbeforestrangers。
Whatwouldtheythink?\"
\"Oh,Idon’twanttoknowwhattheythink。Idon’twanttoseemyselfasothersseeme。I’msureitwouldbehorriblyuncomfortablemostofthetime。Idon’tbelieveBurnswasreallysincereinthatprayer,either。\"
\"Oh,Idaresayweallprayforsomethingsthatwereallydon’twant,ifwewereonlyhonestenoughtolookintoourhearts,\"
ownedAuntJamesinacandidly。\"I’veanotionthatsuchprayersdon’triseveryfar。_I_usedtopraythatImightbeenabledtoforgiveacertainperson,butIknownowIreallydidn’twanttoforgiveher。WhenIfinallygotthatIDIDwanttoIforgaveherwithouthavingtoprayaboutit。\"
\"Ican’tpictureyouasbeingunforgivingforlong,\"saidStella。
\"Oh,Iusedtobe。Butholdingspitedoesn’tseemworthwhilewhenyougetalonginyears。\"
\"Thatremindsme,\"saidAnne,andtoldthetaleofJohnandJanet。
\"Andnowtellusaboutthatromanticsceneyouhintedsodarklyatinoneofyourletters,\"demandedPhil。
AnneactedoutSamuel’sproposalwithgreatspirit。ThegirlsshriekedwithlaughterandAuntJamesinasmiled。
\"Itisn’tingoodtastetomakefunofyourbeaux,\"shesaidseverely;\"but,\"sheaddedcalmly,\"Ialwaysdiditmyself。\"
\"Tellusaboutyourbeaux,Aunty,\"entreatedPhil。\"Youmusthavehadanynumberofthem。\"
\"They’renotinthepasttense,\"retortedAuntJamesina。
\"I’vegotthemyet。Therearethreeoldwidowersathomewhohavebeencastingsheep’seyesatmeforsometime。
Youchildrenneedn’tthinkyouownalltheromanceintheworld。\"
\"Widowersandsheep’seyesdon’tsoundveryromantic,Aunty。\"
\"Well,no;butyoungfolksaren’talwaysromanticeither。
Someofmybeauxcertainlyweren’t。Iusedtolaughatthemscandalous,poorboys。TherewasJimElwood——hewasalwaysinasortofday-dream——neverseemedtosensewhatwasgoingon。
Hedidn’twakeuptothefactthatI’dsaid`no’tillayearafterI’dsaidit。Whenhedidgetmarriedhiswifefelloutofthesleighonenightwhentheyweredrivinghomefromchurchandhenevermissedher。ThentherewasDanWinston。Heknewtoomuch。
Hekneweverythinginthisworldandmostofwhatisinthenext。
Hecouldgiveyouananswertoanyquestion,evenifyouaskedhimwhentheJudgmentDaywastobe。MiltonEdwardswasrealniceandIlikedhimbutIdidn’tmarryhim。Foronething,hetookaweektogetajokethroughhishead,andforanotherheneveraskedme。
HoratioReevewasthemostinterestingbeauIeverhad。Butwhenhetoldastoryhedresseditupsothatyoucouldn’tseeitforfrills。
Inevercoulddecidewhetherhewaslyingorjustlettinghisimaginationrunloose。\"
\"Andwhatabouttheothers,Aunty?\"
\"Goawayandunpack,\"saidAuntJamesina,wavingJosephatthembymistakeforaneedle。\"Theothersweretoonicetomakefunof。
Ishallrespecttheirmemory。There’saboxofflowersinyourroom,Anne。Theycameaboutanhourago。\"
AfterthefirstweekthegirlsofPatty’sPlacesettleddowntoasteadygrindofstudy;forthiswastheirlastyearatRedmondandgraduationhonorsmustbefoughtforpersistently。AnnedevotedherselftoEnglish,Priscillaporedoverclassics,andPhilippapoundedawayatMathematics。Sometimestheygrewtired,sometimestheyfeltdiscouraged,sometimesnothingseemedworththestruggleforit。InonesuchmoodStellawandereduptotheblueroomonerainyNovemberevening。Annesatonthefloorinalittlecircleoflightcastbythelampbesideher,amidasurroundingsnowofcrumpledmanuscript。
\"Whatintheworldareyoudoing?\"
\"JustlookingoversomeoldStoryClubyarns。IwantedsomethingtocheerANDinebriate。I’dstudieduntiltheworldseemedazure。
SoIcameuphereanddugtheseoutofmytrunk。Theyaresodrenchedintearsandtragedythattheyareexcruciatinglyfunny。\"
\"I’mblueanddiscouragedmyself,\"saidStella,throwingherselfonthecouch。\"Nothingseemsworthwhile。Myverythoughtsareold。I’vethoughtthemallbefore。Whatistheuseoflivingafterall,Anne?\"
\"Honey,it’sjustbrainfagthatmakesusfeelthatway,andtheweather。
Apouringrainynightlikethis,comingafterahardday’sgrind,wouldsquelchanyonebutaMarkTapley。YouknowitISworthwhiletolive。\"
\"Oh,Isupposeso。ButIcan’tproveittomyselfjustnow。\"
\"Justthinkofallthegreatandnoblesoulswhohavelivedandworkedintheworld,\"saidAnnedreamily。\"Isn’titworthwhiletocomeafterthemandinheritwhattheywonandtaught?Isn’titworthwhiletothinkwecansharetheirinspiration?Andthen,allthegreatsoulsthatwillcomeinthefuture?Isn’titworthwhiletoworkalittleandpreparethewayforthem——
makejustonestepintheirpatheasier?\"
\"Oh,mymindagreeswithyou,Anne。Butmysoulremainsdolefulanduninspired。I’malwaysgrubbyanddingyonrainynights。\"
\"SomenightsIliketherain——Iliketolieinbedandhearitpatteringontheroofanddriftingthroughthepines。\"
\"Ilikeitwhenitstaysontheroof,\"saidStella。\"Itdoesn’talways。Ispentagruesomenightinanoldcountryfarmhouselastsummer。Theroofleakedandtheraincamepatteringdownonmybed。TherewasnopoetryinTHAT。Ihadtogetupinthe`mirkmidnight’andchivyroundtopullthebedsteadoutofthedrip——anditwasoneofthosesolid,old-fashionedbedsthatweighaton——moreorless。Andthenthatdrip-drop,drip-dropkeptupallnightuntilmynervesjustwenttopieces。You’venoideawhataneerienoiseagreatdropofrainfallingwithamushythudonabarefloormakesinthenight。Itsoundslikeghostlyfootstepsandallthatsortofthing。Whatareyoulaughingover,Anne?\"
\"Thesestories。AsPhilwouldsaytheyarekilling——inmoresensesthanone,foreverybodydiedinthem。Whatdazzlinglylovelyheroineswehad——andhowwedressedthem!Silks——satins——velvets——jewels——laces——theyneverworeanythingelse。HereisoneofJaneAndrews’
storiesdepictingherheroineassleepinginabeautifulwhitesatinnightdresstrimmedwithseedpearls。\"
\"Goon,\"saidStella。\"Ibegintofeelthatlifeisworthlivingaslongasthere’salaughinit。\"
\"Here’soneIwrote。Myheroineisdisportingherselfataball`glitteringfromheadtofootwithlargediamondsofthefirstwater。’Butwhatbootedbeautyorrichattire?`Thepathsofgloryleadbuttothegrave。’Theymusteitherbemurderedordieofabrokenheart。Therewasnoescapeforthem。\"
\"Letmereadsomeofyourstories。\"
\"Well,here’smymasterpiece。Noteitscheerfultitle——`MyGraves。’
Ishedquartsoftearswhilewritingit,andtheothergirlsshedgallonswhileIreadit。JaneAndrews’motherscoldedherfrightfullybecauseshehadsomanyhandkerchiefsinthewashthatweek。It’saharrowingtaleofthewanderingsofaMethodistminister’swife。ImadeheraMethodistbecauseitwasnecessarythatsheshouldwander。Sheburiedachildeveryplaceshelivedin。Therewerenineofthemandtheirgraveswereseveredfarapart,rangingfromNewfoundlandtoVancouver。
Idescribedthechildren,picturedtheirseveraldeathbeds,anddetailedtheirtombstonesandepitaphs。IhadintendedtoburythewholeninebutwhenIhaddisposedofeightmyinventionofhorrorsgaveoutandIpermittedtheninthtoliveasahopelesscripple。\"
WhileStellareadMyGraves,punctuatingitstragicparagraphswithchuckles,andRustysleptthesleepofajustcatwhohasbeenoutallnightcurleduponaJaneAndrewstaleofabeautifulmaidenoffifteenwhowenttonurseinalepercolony——ofcoursedyingoftheloathsomediseasefinally——AnneglancedovertheothermanuscriptsandrecalledtheolddaysatAvonleaschoolwhenthemembersoftheStoryClub,sittingunderthesprucetreesordownamongthefernsbythebrook,hadwrittenthem。Whatfuntheyhadhad!
Howthesunshineandmirthofthoseoldensummersreturnedassheread。
NotalltheglorythatwasGreeceorthegrandeurthatwasRomecouldweavesuchwizardryasthosefunny,tearfultalesoftheStoryClub。
AmongthemanuscriptsAnnefoundonewrittenonsheetsofwrappingpaper。
Awaveoflaughterfilledhergrayeyesassherecalledthetimeandplaceofitsgenesis。ItwasthesketchshehadwrittenthedayshefellthroughtheroofoftheCobbduckhouseontheToryRoad。
Anneglancedoverit,thenfelltoreadingitintently。Itwasalittledialoguebetweenastersandsweet-peas,wildcanariesinthelilacbush,andtheguardianspiritofthegarden。Aftershehadreadit,shesat,staringintospace;andwhenStellahadgoneshesmoothedoutthecrumpledmanuscript。
\"IbelieveIwill,\"shesaidresolutely。
ChapterXXXVI
TheGardners’Call\"HereisaletterwithanIndianstampforyou,AuntJimsie,\"
saidPhil。\"HerearethreeforStella,andtwoforPris,andagloriousfatoneformefromJo。There’snothingforyou,Anne,exceptacircular。\"
NobodynoticedAnne’sflushasshetookthethinletterPhiltossedhercarelessly。ButafewminuteslaterPhillookeduptoseeatransfiguredAnne。
\"Honey,whatgoodthinghashappened?\"
\"TheYouth’sFriendhasacceptedalittlesketchIsentthemafortnightago,\"saidAnne,tryinghardtospeakasifshewereaccustomedtohavingsketchesacceptedeverymail,butnotquitesucceeding。
\"AnneShirley!Howglorious!Whatwasit?Whenisittobepublished?Didtheypayyouforit?\"
\"Yes;they’vesentacheckfortendollars,andtheeditorwritesthathewouldliketoseemoreofmywork。Dearman,heshall。
ItwasanoldsketchIfoundinmybox。Ire-wroteitandsentitin——butIneverreallythoughtitcouldbeacceptedbecauseithadnoplot,\"saidAnne,recallingthebitterexperienceofAveril’sAtonement。
\"Whatareyougoingtodowiththattendollars,Anne?Let’sallgouptownandgetdrunk,\"suggestedPhil。
\"IAMgoingtosquanderitinawildsoullessrevelofsomesort,\"
declaredAnnegaily。\"Atalleventsitisn’ttaintedmoney——
likethecheckIgotforthathorribleReliableBakingPowderstory。
IspentITusefullyforclothesandhatedthemeverytimeIputthemon。\"
\"ThinkofhavingarealliveauthoratPatty’sPlace,\"saidPriscilla。
\"It’sagreatresponsibility,\"saidAuntJamesinasolemnly。
\"Indeeditis,\"agreedPriswithequalsolemnity。\"Authorsarekittlecattle。Youneverknowwhenorhowtheywillbreakout。
Annemaymakecopyofus。\"
\"ImeantthattheabilitytowriteforthePresswasagreatresponsibility,\"saidAuntJamesinaseverely。\"andIhopeAnnerealizes,it。Mydaughterusedtowritestoriesbeforeshewenttotheforeignfield,butnowshehasturnedherattentiontohigherthings。Sheusedtosayhermottowas`Neverwritealineyouwouldbeashamedtoreadatyourownfuneral。’You’dbettertakethatforyours,Anne,ifyouaregoingtoembarkinliterature。
Though,tobesure,\"addedAuntJamesinaperplexedly,\"Elizabethalwaysusedtolaughwhenshesaidit。ShealwayslaughedsomuchthatIdon’tknowhowsheevercametodecideonbeingamissionary。
I’mthankfulshedid——Iprayedthatshemight——but——Iwishshehadn’t。\"
ThenAuntJamesinawonderedwhythosegiddygirlsalllaughed。
Anne’seyesshoneallthatday;literaryambitionssproutedandbuddedinherbrain;theirexhilarationaccompaniedhertoJennieCooper’swalkingparty,andnoteventhesightofGilbertandChristine,walkingjustaheadofherandRoy,couldquitesubduethesparkleofherstarryhopes。Nevertheless,shewasnotsoraptfromthingsofearthastobeunabletonoticethatChristine’swalkwasdecidedlyungraceful。
\"ButIsupposeGilbertlooksonlyatherface。Solikeaman,\"
thoughtAnnescornfully。
\"ShallyoubehomeSaturdayafternoon?\"askedRoy。
\"Yes。\"
\"Mymotherandsistersarecomingtocallonyou,\"saidRoyquietly。
SomethingwentoverAnnewhichmightbedescribedasathrill,butitwashardlyapleasantone。ShehadnevermetanyofRoy’sfamily;
sherealizedthesignificanceofhisstatement;andithad,somehow,anirrevocablenessaboutitthatchilledher。
\"Ishallbegladtoseethem,\"shesaidflatly;andthenwonderedifshereallywouldbeglad。Sheoughttobe,ofcourse。Butwoulditnotbesomethingofanordeal?GossiphadfilteredtoAnneregardingthelightinwhichtheGardnersviewedthe\"infatuation\"ofsonandbrother。Roymusthavebroughtpressuretobearinthematterofthiscall。Anneknewshewouldbeweighedinthebalance。Fromthefactthattheyhadconsentedtocallsheunderstoodthat,willinglyorunwillingly,theyregardedherasapossiblememberoftheirclan。
\"Ishalljustbemyself。IshallnotTRYtomakeagoodimpression,\"
thoughtAnneloftily。ButshewaswonderingwhatdressshewouldbetterwearSaturdayafternoon,andifthenewstyleofhighhair-dressingwouldsuitherbetterthantheold;andthewalkingpartywasratherspoiledforher。BynightshehaddecidedthatshewouldwearherbrownchiffononSaturday,butwoulddoherhairlow。
FridayafternoonnoneofthegirlshadclassesatRedmond。
StellatooktheopportunitytowriteapaperforthePhilomathicSociety,andwassittingatthetableinthecorneroftheliving-roomwithanuntidylitterofnotesandmanuscriptontheflooraroundher。Stellaalwaysvowedshenevercouldwriteanythingunlessshethreweachsheetdownasshecompletedit。
Anne,inherflannelblouseandsergeskirt,withherhairratherblownfromherwindywalkhome,wassittingsquarelyinthemiddleofthefloor,teasingtheSarah-catwithawishbone。
JosephandRustywerebothcurledupinherlap。Awarmplummyodorfilledthewholehouse,forPriscillawascookinginthekitchen。Presentlyshecamein,enshroudedinahugework-apron,withasmudgeofflouronhernose,toshowAuntJamesinathechocolatecakeshehadjusticed。
Atthisauspiciousmomenttheknockersounded。NobodypaidanyattentiontoitsavePhil,whosprangupandopenedit,expectingaboywiththehatshehadboughtthatmorning。OnthedoorstepstoodMrs。Gardnerandherdaughters。
Annescrambledtoherfeetsomehow,emptyingtwoindignantcatsoutofherlapasshedidso,andmechanicallyshiftingherwishbonefromherrighthandtoherleft。Priscilla,whowouldhavehadtocrosstheroomtoreachthekitchendoor,lostherhead,wildlyplungedthechocolatecakeunderacushionontheinglenooksofa,anddashedupstairs。Stellabeganfeverishlygatheringuphermanuscript。OnlyAuntJamesinaandPhilremainednormal。Thankstothem,everybodywassoonsittingatease,evenAnne。Priscillacamedown,apronlessandsmudgeless,Stellareducedhercornertodecency,andPhilsavedthesituationbyastreamofreadysmalltalk。
Mrs。Gardnerwastallandthinandhandsome,exquisitelygowned,cordialwithacordialitythatseemedatrifleforced。
AlineGardnerwasayoungereditionofhermother,lackingthecordiality。Sheendeavoredtobenice,butsucceededonlyinbeinghaughtyandpatronizing。DorothyGardnerwasslimandjollyandrathertomboyish。AnneknewshewasRoy’sfavoritesisterandwarmedtoher。ShewouldhavelookedverymuchlikeRoyifshehadhaddreamydarkeyesinsteadofroguishhazelones。ThankstoherandPhil,thecallreallywentoffverywell,exceptforaslightsenseofstrainintheatmosphereandtworatheruntowardincidents。RustyandJoseph,lefttothemselves,beganagameofchase,andsprangmadlyintoMrs。Gardner’ssilkenlapandoutofitintheirwildcareer。
Mrs。Gardnerliftedherlorgnetteandgazedaftertheirflyingformsasifshehadneverseencatsbefore,andAnne,chokingbackslightlynervouslaughter,apologizedasbestshecould。
\"Youarefondofcats?\"saidMrs。Gardner,withaslightintonationoftolerantwonder。
Anne,despiteheraffectionforRusty,wasnotespeciallyfondofcats,butMrs。Gardner’stoneannoyedher。InconsequentlysherememberedthatMrs。JohnBlythewassofondofcatsthatshekeptasmanyasherhusbandwouldallow。
\"TheyAREadorableanimals,aren’tthey?\"shesaidwickedly。
\"Ihaveneverlikedcats,\"saidMrs。Gardnerremotely。
\"Ilovethem,\"saidDorothy。\"Theyaresoniceandselfish。
DogsareTOOgoodandunselfish。Theymakemefeeluncomfortable。
Butcatsaregloriouslyhuman。\"
\"Youhavetwodelightfuloldchinadogsthere。MayIlookatthemclosely?\"saidAline,crossingtheroomtowardsthefireplaceandtherebybecomingtheunconsciouscauseoftheotheraccident。
PickingupMagog,shesatdownonthecushionunderwhichwassecretedPriscilla’schocolatecake。PriscillaandAnneexchangedagonizedglancesbutcoulddonothing。ThestatelyAlinecontinuedtositonthecushionanddiscusschinadogsuntilthetimeofdeparture。
DorothylingeredbehindamomenttosqueezeAnne’shandandwhisperimpulsively。
\"IKNOWyouandIaregoingtobechums。Oh,Royhastoldmeallaboutyou。I’mtheonlyoneofthefamilyhetellsthingsto,poorboy——nobodyCOULDconfideinmammaandAline,youknow。
Whatglorioustimesyougirlsmusthavehere!Won’tyouletmecomeoftenandhaveashareinthem?\"
\"Comeasoftenasyoulike,\"Annerespondedheartily,thankfulthatoneofRoy’ssisterswaslikable。ShewouldneverlikeAline,somuchwascertain;andAlinewouldneverlikeher,thoughMrs。Gardnermightbewon。Altogether,Annesighedwithreliefwhentheordealwasover。
\"`OfallsadwordsoftongueorpenThesaddestareitmighthavebeen,’\"
quotedPriscillatragically,liftingthecushion。\"Thiscakeisnowwhatyoumightcallaflatfailure。Andthecushionislikewiseruined。NevertellmethatFridayisn’tunlucky。\"
\"PeoplewhosendwordtheyarecomingonSaturdayshouldn’tcomeonFriday,\"saidAuntJamesina。
\"IfancyitwasRoy’smistake,\"saidPhil。\"Thatboyisn’treallyresponsibleforwhathesayswhenhetalkstoAnne。WhereISAnne?\"
Annehadgoneupstairs。Shefeltoddlylikecrying。Butshemadeherselflaughinstead。RustyandJosephhadbeenTOOawful!
AndDorothyWASadear。
ChapterXXXVII
Full-fledgedB。A。’s\"IwishIweredead,orthatitweretomorrownight,\"groanedPhil。
\"Ifyoulivelongenoughbothwisheswillcometrue,\"saidAnnecalmly。
\"It’seasyforyoutobeserene。You’reathomeinPhilosophy。
I’mnot——andwhenIthinkofthathorriblepapertomorrowIquail。
IfIshouldfailinitwhatwouldJosay?\"
\"Youwon’tfail。HowdidyougetoninGreektoday?\"
\"Idon’tknow。PerhapsitwasagoodpaperandperhapsitwasbadenoughtomakeHomerturnoverinhisgrave。I’vestudiedandmulledovernotebooksuntilI’mincapableofforminganopinionofanything。HowthankfullittlePhilwillbewhenallthisexaminatingisover。\"
\"Examinating?Ineverheardsuchaword。\"
\"Well,haven’tIasgoodarighttomakeawordasanyoneelse?\"
demandedPhil。
\"Wordsaren’tmade——theygrow,\"saidAnne。
\"Nevermind——Ibeginfaintlytodiscernclearwateraheadwherenoexaminationbreakersloom。Girls,doyou——canyourealizethatourRedmondLifeisalmostover?\"
\"Ican’t,\"saidAnne,sorrowfully。\"ItseemsjustyesterdaythatPrisandIwerealoneinthatcrowdofFreshmenatRedmond。
AndnowweareSeniorsinourfinalexaminations。\"
\"`Potent,wise,andreverendSeniors,’\"quotedPhil。\"DoyousupposewereallyareanywiserthanwhenwecametoRedmond?\"
\"Youdon’tactasifyouwerebytimes,\"saidAuntJamesinaseverely。
\"Oh,AuntJimsie,haven’twebeenprettygoodgirls,takeusbyandlarge,thesethreewintersyou’vemotheredus?\"pleadedPhil。
\"You’vebeenfourofthedearest,sweetest,goodestgirlsthateverwenttogetherthroughcollege,\"averredAuntJamesina,whoneverspoiledacomplimentbymisplacedeconomy。
\"ButImistrustyouhaven’tanytoomuchsenseyet。It’snottobeexpected,ofcourse。Experienceteachessense。Youcan’tlearnitinacollegecourse。You’vebeentocollegefouryearsandIneverwas,butIknowheapsmorethanyoudo,youngladies。\"
\"`Therearelotsofthingsthatnevergobyrule,There’sapowerfulpileo’knowledgeThatyounevergetatcollege,Thereareheapsofthingsyouneverlearnatschool,’\"
quotedStella。
\"HaveyoulearnedanythingatRedmondexceptdeadlanguagesandgeometryandsuchtrash?\"queriedAuntJamesina。
\"Oh,yes。Ithinkwehave,Aunty,\"protestedAnne。
\"We’velearnedthetruthofwhatProfessorWoodleightolduslastPhilomathic,\"saidPhil。\"Hesaid,`Humoristhespiciestcondimentinthefeastofexistence。Laughatyourmistakesbutlearnfromthem,jokeoveryourtroublesbutgatherstrengthfromthem,makeajestofyourdifficultiesbutovercomethem。’
Isn’tthatworthlearning,AuntJimsie?\"
\"Yes,itis,dearie。Whenyou’velearnedtolaughatthethingsthatshouldbelaughedat,andnottolaughatthosethatshouldn’t,you’vegotwisdomandunderstanding。\"
\"WhathaveyougotoutofyourRedmondcourse,Anne?\"murmuredPriscillaaside。
\"Ithink,\"saidAnneslowly,\"thatIreallyhavelearnedtolookuponeachlittlehindranceasajestandeachgreatoneastheforeshadowingofvictory。Summingup,IthinkthatiswhatRedmondhasgivenme。\"
\"IshallhavetofallbackonanotherProfessorWoodleighquotationtoexpresswhatithasdoneforme,\"saidPriscilla。
\"Yourememberthathesaidinhisaddress,`Thereissomuchintheworldforusallifweonlyhavetheeyestoseeit,andthehearttoloveit,andthehandtogatherittoourselves——
somuchinmenandwomen,somuchinartandliterature,somucheverywhereinwhichtodelight,andforwhichtobethankful。’
IthinkRedmondhastaughtmethatinsomemeasure,Anne。\"
\"Judgingfromwhatyouall,say\"remarkedAuntJamesina,\"thesumandsubstanceisthatyoucanlearn——ifyou’vegotnaturalgumptionenough——infouryearsatcollegewhatitwouldtakeabouttwentyyearsoflivingtoteachyou。Well,thatjustifieshighereducationinmyopinion。It’samatterIwasalwaysdubiousaboutbefore。\"
\"Butwhataboutpeoplewhohaven’tnaturalgumption,AuntJimsie?\"
\"Peoplewhohaven’tnaturalgumptionneverlearn,\"retortedAuntJamesina,\"neitherincollegenorlife。Iftheylivetobeahundredtheyreallydon’tknowanythingmorethanwhentheywereborn。It’stheirmisfortunenottheirfault,poorsouls。
ButthoseofuswhohavesomegumptionshoulddulythanktheLordforit。\"
\"Willyoupleasedefinewhatgumptionis,AuntJimsie?\"askedPhil。
\"No,Iwon’t,youngwoman。Anyonewhohasgumptionknowswhatitis,andanyonewhohasn’tcanneverknowwhatitis。Sothereisnoneedofdefiningit。\"
Thebusydaysflewbyandexaminationswereover。AnnetookHighHonorsinEnglish。PriscillatookHonorsinClassics,andPhilinMathematics。Stellaobtainedagoodall-roundshowing。
ThencameConvocation。
\"ThisiswhatIwouldoncehavecalledanepochinmylife,\"
saidAnne,asshetookRoy’svioletsoutoftheirboxandgazedatthemthoughtfully。Shemeanttocarrythem,ofcourse,buthereyeswanderedtoanotherboxonhertable。Itwasfilledwithlilies-of-the-valley,asfreshandfragrantasthosewhichbloomedintheGreenGablesyardwhenJunecametoAvonlea。
GilbertBlythe’scardlaybesideit。
AnnewonderedwhyGilbertshouldhavesentherflowersforConvocation。
Shehadseenverylittleofhimduringthepastwinter。HehadcometoPatty’sPlaceonlyoneFridayeveningsincetheChristmasholidays,andtheyrarelymetelsewhere。Sheknewhewasstudyingveryhard,aimingatHighHonorsandtheCooperPrize,andhetooklittlepartinthesocialdoingsofRedmond。Anne’sownwinterhadbeenquitegaysocially。ShehadseenagooddealoftheGardners;sheandDorothywereveryintimate;collegecirclesexpectedtheannouncementofherengagementtoRoyanyday。Anneexpecteditherself。YetjustbeforesheleftPatty’sPlaceforConvocationsheflungRoy’svioletsasideandputGilbert’slilies-of-the-valleyintheirplace。
Shecouldnothavetoldwhyshedidit。Somehow,oldAvonleadaysanddreamsandfriendshipsseemedveryclosetoherinthisattainmentofherlong-cherishedambitions。SheandGilberthadoncepicturedoutmerrilythedayonwhichtheyshouldbecappedandgownedgraduatesinArts。ThewonderfuldayhadcomeandRoy’svioletshadnoplaceinit。
Onlyheroldfriend’sflowersseemedtobelongtothisfruitionofold-blossominghopeswhichhehadonceshared。
Foryearsthisdayhadbeckonedandalluredtoher;butwhenitcametheonesingle,keen,abidingmemoryitleftwithherwasnotthatofthebreathlessmomentwhenthestatelypresidentofRedmondgavehercapanddiplomaandhailedherB。A。;itwasnotoftheflashinGilbert’seyeswhenhesawherlilies,northepuzzledpainedglanceRoygaveherashepassedherontheplatform。
ItwasnotofAlineGardner’scondescendingcongratulations,orDorothy’sardent,impulsivegoodwishes。Itwasofonestrange,unaccountablepangthatspoiledthislong-expecteddayforherandleftinitacertainfaintbutenduringflavorofbitterness。
TheArtsgraduatesgaveagraduationdancethatnight。WhenAnnedressedforitshetossedasidethepearlbeadssheusuallyworeandtookfromhertrunkthesmallboxthathadcometoGreenGablesonChristmasday。Initwasathread-likegoldchainwithatinypinkenamelheartasapendant。Ontheaccompanyingcardwaswritten,\"Withallgoodwishesfromyouroldchum,Gilbert。\"Anne,laughingoverthememorytheenamelheartconjuredupthefataldaywhenGilberthadcalledher\"Carrots\"andvainlytriedtomakehispeacewithapinkcandyheart,hadwrittenhimanicelittlenoteofthanks。
Butshehadneverwornthetrinket。Tonightshefasteneditaboutherwhitethroatwithadreamysmile。
SheandPhilwalkedtoRedmondtogether。Annewalkedinsilence;
Philchatteredofmanythings。Suddenlyshesaid,\"IheardtodaythatGilbertBlythe’sengagementtoChristineStuartwastobeannouncedassoonasConvocationwasover。
Didyouhearanythingofit?\"
\"No,\"saidAnne。
\"Ithinkit’strue,\"saidPhillightly。
Annedidnotspeak。Inthedarknessshefeltherfaceburning。
Sheslippedherhandinsidehercollarandcaughtatthegoldchain。Oneenergetictwistanditgaveway。Annethrustthebrokentrinketintoherpocket。Herhandsweretremblingandhereyesweresmarting。
Butshewasthegayestofallthegayrevellersthatnight,andtoldGilbertunregretfullythathercardwasfullwhenhecametoaskherforadance。Afterwards,whenshesatwiththegirlsbeforethedyingembersatPatty’sPlace,removingthespringchillinessfromtheirsatinskins,nonechattedmoreblithelythansheoftheday’sevents。
\"MoodySpurgeonMacPhersoncalledheretonightafteryouleft,\"
saidAuntJamesina,whohadsatuptokeepthefireon。\"Hedidn’tknowaboutthegraduationdance。Thatboyoughttosleepwitharubberbandaroundhisheadtotrainhisearsnottostickout。
Ihadabeauoncewhodidthatanditimprovedhimimmensely。
ItwasIwhosuggestedittohimandhetookmyadvice,butheneverforgavemeforit。\"
\"MoodySpurgeonisaveryseriousyoungman,\"yawnedPriscilla。
\"Heisconcernedwithgravermattersthanhisears。Heisgoingtobeaminister,youknow。\"
\"Well,IsupposetheLorddoesn’tregardtheearsofaman,\"
saidAuntJamesinagravely,droppingallfurthercriticismofMoodySpurgeon。AuntJamesinahadaproperrespectfortheclotheveninthecaseofanunfledgedparson。
ChapterXXXVIII
FalseDawn\"Justimagine——thisnightweekI’llbeinAvonlea——delightfulthought!\"
saidAnne,bendingovertheboxinwhichshewaspackingMrs。RachelLynde’squilts。\"Butjustimagine——thisnightweekI’llbegoneforeverfromPatty’sPlace——horriblethought!\"
\"IwonderiftheghostofallourlaughterwillechothroughthemaidendreamsofMissPattyandMissMaria,\"speculatedPhil。
MissPattyandMissMariawerecominghome,afterhavingtrottedovermostofthehabitableglobe。
\"We’llbebackthesecondweekinMay\"wroteMissPatty。\"IexpectPatty’sPlacewillseemrathersmallaftertheHalloftheKingsatKarnak,butIneverdidlikebigplacestolivein。AndI’llbegladenoughtobehomeagain。Whenyoustarttravelinglateinlifeyou’reapttodotoomuchofitbecauseyouknowyouhaven’tmuchtimeleft,andit’sathingthatgrowsonyou。I’mafraidMariawillneverbecontentedagain。\"
\"Ishallleaveheremyfanciesanddreamstoblessthenextcomer,\"
saidAnne,lookingaroundtheblueroomwistfully——herprettyblueroomwhereshehadspentthreesuchhappyyears。Shehadkneltatitswindowtoprayandhadbentfromittowatchthesunsetbehindthepines。Shehadheardtheautumnraindropsbeatingagainstitandhadwelcomedthespringrobinsatitssill。Shewonderedifolddreamscouldhauntrooms——if,whenoneleftforevertheroomwhereshehadjoyedandsufferedandlaughedandwept,somethingofher,intangibleandinvisible,yetnonethelessreal,didnotremainbehindlikeavoicefulmemory。
\"Ithink,\"saidPhil,\"thataroomwhereonedreamsandgrievesandrejoicesandlivesbecomesinseparablyconnectedwiththoseprocessesandacquiresapersonalityofitsown。IamsureifI
cameintothisroomfiftyyearsfromnowitwouldsay’Anne,Anne’
tome。Whatnicetimeswe’vehadhere,honey!Whatchatsandjokesandgoodchummyjamborees!Oh,dearme!I’mtomarryJoinJuneandIknowIwillberapturouslyhappy。ButjustnowIfeelasifIwantedthislovelyRedmondlifetogoonforever。\"
\"I’munreasonableenoughjustnowtowishthat,too,\"admittedAnne。
\"Nomatterwhatdeeperjoysmaycometouslateronwe’llneveragainhavejustthesamedelightful,irresponsibleexistencewe’vehadhere。
It’soverforever,Phil。\"