\"WhatareyougoingtodowithRusty？\"askedPhil，asthatprivilegedpussypaddedintotheroom。
\"IamgoingtotakehimhomewithmeandJosephandtheSarah-cat，\"
announcedAuntJamesina，followingRusty。\"Itwouldbeashametoseparatethosecatsnowthattheyhavelearnedtolivetogether。
It’sahardlessonforcatsandhumanstolearn。\"
\"I’msorrytopartwithRusty，\"saidAnneregretfully，\"butitwouldbenousetotakehimtoGreenGables。Marilladetestscats，andDavywouldteasehislifeout。Besides，Idon’tsupposeI’llbehomeverylong。I’vebeenofferedtheprincipalshipoftheSummersideHighSchool。\"
\"Areyougoingtoacceptit？\"askedPhil。
\"I——Ihaven’tdecidedyet，\"answeredAnne，withaconfusedflush。
Philnoddedunderstandingly。NaturallyAnne’splanscouldnotbesettleduntilRoyhadspoken。Hewouldsoon——therewasnodoubtofthat。AndtherewasnodoubtthatAnnewouldsay\"yes\"whenhesaid\"Willyouplease？\"Anneherselfregardedthestateofaffairswithaseldom-ruffledcomplacency。ShewasdeeplyinlovewithRoy。
True，itwasnotjustwhatshehadimaginedlovetobe。Butwasanythinginlife，Anneaskedherselfwearily，likeone’simaginationofit？Itwastheolddiamonddisillusionofchildhoodrepeated——
thesamedisappointmentshehadfeltwhenshehadfirstseenthechillsparkleinsteadofthepurplesplendorshehadanticipated。
\"That’snotmyideaofadiamond，\"shehadsaid。ButRoywasadearfellowandtheywouldbeveryhappytogether，evenifsomeindefinablezestwasmissingoutoflife。WhenRoycamedownthateveningandaskedAnnetowalkintheparkeveryoneatPatty’sPlaceknewwhathehadcometosay；andeveryoneknew，orthoughttheyknew，whatAnne’sanswerwouldbe。
\"Anneisaveryfortunategirl，\"saidAuntJamesina。
\"Isupposeso，\"saidStella，shrugginghershoulders。\"Royisanicefellowandallthat。Butthere’sreallynothinginhim。\"
\"Thatsoundsverylikeajealousremark，StellaMaynard，\"saidAuntJamesinarebukingly。
\"Itdoes——butIamnotjealous，\"saidStellacalmly。\"IloveAnneandIlikeRoy。Everybodysayssheismakingabrilliantmatch，andevenMrs。Gardnerthinkshercharmingnow。Itallsoundsasifitweremadeinheaven，butIhavemydoubts。
Makethemostofthat，AuntJamesina。\"
RoyaskedAnnetomarryhiminthelittlepavilionontheharborshorewheretheyhadtalkedontherainydayoftheirfirstmeeting。
Annethoughtitveryromanticthatheshouldhavechosenthatspot。
Andhisproposalwasasbeautifullywordedasifhehadcopiedit，asoneofRubyGillis’lovershaddone，outofaDeportmentofCourtshipandMarriage。Thewholeeffectwasquiteflawless。
Anditwasalsosincere。TherewasnodoubtthatRoymeantwhathesaid。Therewasnofalsenotetojarthesymphony。
Annefeltthatsheoughttobethrillingfromheadtofoot。
Butshewasn’t；shewashorriblycool。WhenRoypausedforhisanswersheopenedherlipstosayherfatefulyes。
Andthen——shefoundherselftremblingasifshewerereelingbackfromaprecipice。Tohercameoneofthosemomentswhenwerealize，asbyablindingflashofillumination，morethanallourpreviousyearshavetaughtus。ShepulledherhandfromRoy’s。
\"Oh，Ican’tmarryyou——Ican’t——Ican’t，\"shecried，wildly。
Royturnedpale——andalsolookedratherfoolish。Hehad——
smallblametohim——feltverysure。
\"Whatdoyoumean？\"hestammered。
\"ImeanthatIcan’tmarryyou，\"repeatedAnnedesperately。
\"IthoughtIcould——butIcan’t。\"
\"Whycan’tyou？\"Royaskedmorecalmly。
\"Because——Idon’tcareenoughforyou。\"
AcrimsonstreakcameintoRoy’sface。
\"Soyou’vejustbeenamusingyourselfthesetwoyears？\"hesaidslowly。
\"No，no，Ihaven’t，\"gaspedpoorAnne。Oh，howcouldsheexplain？
SheCOULDN’Texplain。Therearesomethingsthatcannotbeexplained。
\"IdidthinkIcared——trulyIdid——butIknownowIdon’t。\"
\"Youhaveruinedmylife，\"saidRoybitterly。
\"Forgiveme，\"pleadedAnnemiserably，withhotcheeksandstingingeyes。
Royturnedawayandstoodforafewminuteslookingoutseaward。
WhenhecamebacktoAnne，hewasverypaleagain。
\"Youcangivemenohope？\"hesaid。
Anneshookherheadmutely。
\"Then——good-bye，\"saidRoy。\"Ican’tunderstandit——I
can’tbelieveyouarenotthewomanI’vebelievedyoutobe。
Butreproachesareidlebetweenus。YouaretheonlywomanIcaneverlove。Ithankyouforyourfriendship，atleast。
Good-bye，Anne。\"
\"Good-bye，\"falteredAnne。WhenRoyhadgoneshesatforalongtimeinthepavilion，watchingawhitemistcreepingsubtlyandremorselesslylandwarduptheharbor。Itwasherhourofhumiliationandself-contemptandshame。Theirwaveswentoverher。Andyet，underneathitall，wasaqueersenseofrecoveredfreedom。
SheslippedintoPatty’sPlaceintheduskandescapedtoherroom。
ButPhilwasthereonthewindowseat。
\"Wait，\"saidAnne，flushingtoanticipatethescene。\"WaittilyouhearwhatIhavetosay。Phil，Royaskedmetomarryhim-andIrefused。\"
\"You——youREFUSEDhim？\"saidPhilblankly。
\"Yes。\"
\"AnneShirley，areyouinyoursenses？\"
\"Ithinkso，\"saidAnnewearily。\"Oh，Phil，don’tscoldme。
Youdon’tunderstand。\"
\"Icertainlydon’tunderstand。You’veencouragedRoyGardnerineverywayfortwoyears——andnowyoutellmeyou’verefusedhim。
Thenyou’vejustbeenflirtingscandalouslywithhim。Anne，I
couldn’thavebelieveditofYOU。\"
\"IWASN’Tflirtingwithhim——IhonestlythoughtIcareduptothelastminute——andthen——well，IjustknewINEVERcouldmarryhim。\"
\"Isuppose，\"saidPhilcruelly，\"thatyouintendedtomarryhimforhismoney，andthenyourbetterselfroseupandpreventedyou。\"
\"IDIDN’T。Ineverthoughtabouthismoney。Oh，Ican’texplainittoyouanymorethanIcouldtohim。\"
\"Well，IcertainlythinkyouhavetreatedRoyshamefully，\"saidPhilinexasperation。\"He’shandsomeandcleverandrichandgood。
Whatmoredoyouwant？\"
\"IwantsomeonewhoBELONGSinmylife。Hedoesn’t。Iwassweptoffmyfeetatfirstbyhisgoodlooksandknackofpayingromanticcompliments；andlateronIthoughtIMUSTbeinlovebecausehewasmydark-eyedideal。\"
\"Iambadenoughfornotknowingmyownmind，butyouareworse，\"
saidPhil。
\"_I_DOknowmyownmind，\"protestedAnne。\"Thetroubleis，mymindchangesandthenIhavetogetacquaintedwithitalloveragain。\"
\"Well，Isupposethereisnouseinsayinganythingtoyou。\"
\"Thereisnoneed，Phil。I’minthedust。Thishasspoiledeverythingbackwards。IcanneverthinkofRedmonddayswithoutrecallingthehumiliationofthisevening。Roydespisesme——
andyoudespiseme——andIdespisemyself。\"
\"Youpoordarling，\"saidPhil，melting。\"Justcomehereandletmecomfortyou。I’venorighttoscoldyou。I’dhavemarriedAlecorAlonzoifIhadn’tmetJo。Oh，Anne，thingsaresomixed-upinreallife。Theyaren’tclear-cutandtrimmedoff，astheyareinnovels。\"
\"IhopethatNOonewilleveragainaskmetomarryhimaslongasIlive，\"sobbedpoorAnne，devoutlybelievingthatshemeantit。
ChapterXXXIX
DealswithWeddingsAnnefeltthatlifepartookofthenatureofananticlimaxduringthefirstfewweeksafterherreturntoGreenGables。ShemissedthemerrycomradeshipofPatty’sPlace。Shehaddreamedsomebrilliantdreamsduringthepastwinterandnowtheylayinthedustaroundher。Inherpresentmoodofself-disgust，shecouldnotimmediatelybegindreamingagain。Andshediscoveredthat，whilesolitudewithdreamsisglorious，solitudewithoutthemhasfewcharms。
ShehadnotseenRoyagainaftertheirpainfulpartingintheparkpavilion；butDorothycametoseeherbeforesheleftKingsport。
\"I’mawfullysorryyouwon’tmarryRoy，\"shesaid。\"Ididwantyouforasister。Butyouarequiteright。Hewouldboreyoutodeath。
Ilovehim，andheisadearsweetboy，butreallyheisn’tabitinteresting。Helooksasifheoughttobe，butheisn’t。\"
\"Thiswon’tspoilOURfriendship，willit，Dorothy？\"Annehadaskedwistfully。
\"No，indeed。You’retoogoodtolose。IfIcan’thaveyouforasisterImeantokeepyouasachumanyway。Anddon’tfretoverRoy。Heisfeelingterriblyjustnow——Ihavetolistentohisoutpouringseveryday——buthe’llgetoverit。Healwaysdoes。\"
\"Oh——ALWAYS？\"saidAnnewithaslightchangeofvoice。
\"Sohehas`gotoverit’before？\"
\"Dearme，yes，\"saidDorothyfrankly。\"Twicebefore。Andheravedtomejustthesamebothtimes。Notthattheothersactuallyrefusedhim——theysimplyannouncedtheirengagementstosomeoneelse。Ofcourse，whenhemetyouhevowedtomethathehadneverreallylovedbefore——thatthepreviousaffairshadbeenmerelyboyishfancies。ButIdon’tthinkyouneedworry。\"
Annedecidednottoworry。Herfeelingswereamixtureofreliefandresentment。Royhadcertainlytoldhershewastheonlyonehehadeverloved。Nodoubthebelievedit。Butitwasacomforttofeelthatshehadnot，inalllikelihood，ruinedhislife。
Therewereothergoddesses，andRoy，accordingtoDorothy，mustneedsbeworshippingatsomeshrine。Nevertheless，lifewasstrippedofseveralmoreillusions，andAnnebegantothinkdrearilythatitseemedratherbare。
Shecamedownfromtheporchgableontheeveningofherreturnwithasorrowfulface。
\"WhathashappenedtotheoldSnowQueen，Marilla？\"
\"Oh，Iknewyou’dfeelbadoverthat，\"saidMarilla。\"Ifeltbadmyself。
ThattreewasthereeversinceIwasayounggirl。ItblewdowninthebiggalewehadinMarch。Itwasrottenatthecore。\"
\"I’llmissitso，\"grievedAnne。\"Theporchgabledoesn’tseemthesameroomwithoutit。I’llneverlookfromitswindowagainwithoutasenseofloss。Andoh，InevercamehometoGreenGablesbeforethatDianawasn’theretowelcomeme。\"
\"Dianahassomethingelsetothinkofjustnow，\"saidMrs。Lyndesignificantly。
\"Well，tellmealltheAvonleanews，\"saidAnne，sittingdownontheporchsteps，wheretheeveningsunshinefelloverherhairinafinegoldenrain。
\"Thereisn’tmuchnewsexceptwhatwe’vewroteyou，\"saidMrs。Lynde。
\"Isupposeyouhaven’theardthatSimonFletcherbrokehisleglastweek。
It’sagreatthingforhisfamily。They’regettingahundredthingsdonethatthey’vealwayswantedtodobutcouldn’taslongashewasabout，theoldcrank。\"
\"Hecameofanaggravatingfamily，\"remarkedMarilla。
\"Aggravating？Well，rather！Hismotherusedtogetupinprayer-meetingandtellallherchildren’sshortcomingsandaskprayersforthem。`Courseitmadethemmad，andworsethanever。\"
\"Youhaven’ttoldAnnethenewsaboutJane，\"suggestedMarilla。
\"Oh，Jane，\"sniffedMrs。Lynde。\"Well，\"sheconcededgrudgingly，\"JaneAndrewsishomefromtheWest——camelastweek——andshe’sgoingtobemarriedtoaWinnipegmillionaire。YoumaybesureMrs。Harmonlostnotimeintellingitfarandwide。\"
\"DearoldJane——I’msoglad，\"saidAnneheartily。\"Shedeservesthegoodthingsoflife。\"
\"Oh，Iain’tsayinganythingagainstJane。She’saniceenoughgirl。
Butsheisn’tinthemillionaireclass，andyou’llfindthere’snotmuchtorecommendthatmanbuthismoney，that’swhat。Mrs。Harmonsayshe’sanEnglishmanwhohasmademoneyinminesbut_I_believehe’llturnouttobeaYankee。Hecertainlymusthavemoney，forhehasjustshoweredJanewithjewelry。HerengagementringisadiamondclustersobigthatitlookslikeaplasteronJane’sfatpaw。\"
Mrs。Lyndecouldnotkeepsomebitternessoutofhertone。
HerewasJaneAndrews，thatplainlittleplodder，engagedtoamillionaire，whileAnne，itseemed，wasnotyetbespokenbyanyone，richorpoor。AndMrs。HarmonAndrewsdidbraginsufferably。
\"WhathasGilbertBlythebeendoingtoatcollege？\"askedMarilla。
\"Isawhimwhenhecamehomelastweek，andheissopaleandthinIhardlyknewhim。\"
\"Hestudiedveryhardlastwinter，\"saidAnne。\"YouknowhetookHighHonorsinClassicsandtheCooperPrize。Ithasn’tbeentakenforfiveyears！SoIthinkhe’sratherrundown。
We’reallalittletired。\"
\"Anyhow，you’reaB。A。andJaneAndrewsisn’tandneverwillbe，\"
saidMrs。Lynde，withgloomysatisfaction。
AfeweveningslaterAnnewentdowntoseeJane，butthelatterwasawayinCharlottetown——\"gettingsewingdone，\"Mrs。HarmoninformedAnneproudly。\"OfcourseanAvonleadressmakerwouldn’tdoforJaneunderthecircumstances。\"
\"I’veheardsomethingveryniceaboutJane，\"saidAnne。
\"Yes，Janehasdoneprettywell，evenifsheisn’taB。A。，\"saidMrs。Harmon，withaslighttossofherhead。\"Mr。Inglisisworthmillions，andthey’regoingtoEuropeontheirweddingtour。
Whentheycomebackthey’llliveinaperfectmansionofmarbleinWinnipeg。Janehasonlyonetrouble——shecancooksowellandherhusbandwon’tlethercook。Heissorichhehireshiscookingdone。They’regoingtokeepacookandtwoothermaidsandacoachmanandaman-of-all-work。ButwhataboutYOU，Anne？Idon’thearanythingofyourbeingmarried，afterallyourcollege-going。\"
\"Oh，\"laughedAnne，\"Iamgoingtobeanoldmaid。Ireallycan’tfindanyonetosuitme。\"Itwasratherwickedofher。
ShedeliberatelymeanttoremindMrs。Andrewsthatifshebecameanoldmaiditwasnotbecauseshehadnothadatleastonechanceofmarriage。ButMrs。Harmontookswiftrevenge。
\"Well，theover-particulargirlsgenerallygetleft，Inotice。
Andwhat’sthisIhearaboutGilbertBlythebeingengagedtoaMissStuart？CharlieSloanetellsmesheisperfectlybeautiful。
Isittrue？\"
\"Idon’tknowifitistruethatheisengagedtoMissStuart，\"
repliedAnne，withSpartancomposure，\"butitiscertainlytruethatsheisverylovely。\"
\"IoncethoughtyouandGilbertwouldhavemadeamatchofit，\"
saidMrs。Harmon。\"Ifyoudon’ttakecare，Anne，allofyourbeauxwillslipthroughyourfingers。\"
AnnedecidednottocontinueherduelwithMrs。Harmon。
Youcouldnotfencewithanantagonistwhometrapierthrustwithblowofbattleaxe。
\"SinceJaneisaway，\"shesaid，risinghaughtily，\"Idon’tthinkIcanstaylongerthismorning。I’llcomedownwhenshecomeshome。\"
\"Do，\"saidMrs。Harmoneffusively。\"Janeisn’tabitproud。
Shejustmeanstoassociatewithheroldfriendsthesameasever。
She’llberealgladtoseeyou。\"
Jane’smillionairearrivedthelastofMayandcarriedheroffinablazeofsplendor。Mrs。LyndewasspitefullygratifiedtofindthatMr。Ingliswaseverydayofforty，andshortandthinandgrayish。Mrs。Lyndedidnotsparehiminherenumerationofhisshortcomings，youmaybesure。
\"Itwilltakeallhisgoldtogildapilllikehim，that’swhat，\"
saidMrs。Rachelsolemnly。
\"Helookskindandgood-hearted，\"saidAnneloyally，\"andI’msurehethinkstheworldofJane。\"
\"Humph！\"saidMrs。Rachel。
PhilGordonwasmarriedthenextweekandAnnewentovertoBolingbroketobeherbridesmaid。Philmadeadaintyfairyofabride，andtheRev。Jowassoradiantinhishappinessthatnobodythoughthimplain。
\"We’regoingforalovers’saunterthroughthelandofEvangeline，\"
saidPhil，\"andthenwe’llsettledownonPattersonStreet。
Motherthinksitisterrible——shethinksJomightatleasttakeachurchinadecentplace。ButthewildernessofthePattersonslumswillblossomliketheroseformeifJoisthere。
Oh，Anne，I’msohappymyheartacheswithit。\"
Annewasalwaysgladinthehappinessofherfriends；butitissometimesalittlelonelytobesurroundedeverywherebyahappinessthatisnotyourown。AnditwasjustthesamewhenshewentbacktoAvonlea。ThistimeitwasDianawhowasbathedinthewonderfulglorythatcomestoawomanwhenherfirst-bornislaidbesideher。AnnelookedatthewhiteyoungmotherwithacertainawethathadneverenteredintoherfeelingsforDianabefore。Couldthispalewomanwiththeraptureinhereyesbethelittleblack-curled，rosy-cheekedDianashehadplayedwithinvanishedschooldays？Itgaveheraqueerdesolatefeelingthatsheherselfsomehowbelongedonlyinthosepastyearsandhadnobusinessinthepresentatall。
\"Isn’theperfectlybeautiful？\"saidDianaproudly。
ThelittlefatfellowwasabsurdlylikeFred——justasround，justasred。Annereallycouldnotsayconscientiouslythatshethoughthimbeautiful，butshevowedsincerelythathewassweetandkissableandaltogetherdelightful。
\"BeforehecameIwantedagirl，sothatIcouldcallherANNE，\"
saidDiana。\"ButnowthatlittleFredishereIwouldn’texchangehimforamilliongirls。HejustCOULDN’Thavebeenanythingbuthisownpreciousself。\"
\"`Everylittlebabyisthesweetestandthebest，’\"quotedMrs。Allangaily。\"IflittleAnneHADcomeyou’dhavefeltjustthesameabouther。\"
Mrs。AllanwasvisitinginAvonlea，forthefirsttimesinceleavingit。Shewasasgayandsweetandsympatheticasever。
Heroldgirlfriendshadwelcomedherbackrapturously。
Thereigningminister’swifewasanestimablelady，butshewasnotexactlyakindredspirit。
\"Icanhardlywaittillhegetsoldenoughtotalk，\"sighedDiana。
\"Ijustlongtohearhimsay`mother。’Andoh，I’mdeterminedthathisfirstmemoryofmeshallbeaniceone。ThefirstmemoryI
haveofmymotherisofherslappingmeforsomethingIhaddone。
IamsureIdeservedit，andmotherwasalwaysagoodmotherandI
loveherdearly。ButIdowishmyfirstmemoryofherwasnicer。\"
\"Ihavejustonememoryofmymotheranditisthesweetestofallmymemories，\"saidMrs。Allan。\"Iwasfiveyearsold，andI
hadbeenallowedtogotoschoolonedaywithmytwooldersisters。
Whenschoolcameoutmysisterswenthomeindifferentgroups，eachsupposingIwaswiththeother。InsteadIhadrunoffwithalittlegirlIhadplayedwithatrecess。Wewenttoherhome，whichwasneartheschool，andbeganmakingmudpies。Wewerehavingaglorioustimewhenmyoldersisterarrived，breathlessandangry。
\"`Younaughtygirl\"shecried，snatchingmyreluctanthandanddraggingmealongwithher。`Comehomethisminute。Oh，you’regoingtocatchit！Motherisawfulcross。Sheisgoingtogiveyouagoodwhipping。’
\"Ihadneverbeenwhipped。Dreadandterrorfilledmypoorlittleheart。IhaveneverbeensomiserableinmylifeasIwasonthatwalkhome。Ihadnotmeanttobenaughty。PhemyCameronhadaskedmetogohomewithherandIhadnotknownitwaswrongtogo。AndnowIwastobewhippedforit。Whenwegothomemysisterdraggedmeintothekitchenwheremotherwassittingbythefireinthetwilight。MypoorweelegsweretremblingsothatIcouldhardlystand。Andmother——motherjusttookmeupinherarms，withoutonewordofrebukeorharshness，kissedmeandheldmeclosetoherheart。`Iwassofrightenedyouwerelost，darling，’shesaidtenderly。Icouldseetheloveshininginhereyesasshelookeddownonme。SheneverscoldedorreproachedmeforwhatIhaddone——onlytoldmeImustnevergoawayagainwithoutaskingpermission。Shediedverysoonafterwards。ThatistheonlymemoryIhaveofher。Isn’titabeautifulone？\"
Annefeltlonelierthaneverasshewalkedhome，goingbywayoftheBirchPathandWillowmere。Shehadnotwalkedthatwayformanymoons。Itwasadarkly-purplebloomynight。Theairwasheavywithblossomfragrance——almosttooheavy。Thecloyedsensesrecoiledfromitasfromanoverfullcup。Thebirchesofthepathhadgrownfromthefairysaplingsofoldtobigtrees。
Everythinghadchanged。Annefeltthatshewouldbegladwhenthesummerwasoverandshewasawayatworkagain。Perhapslifewouldnotseemsoemptythen。
\"`I’vetriedtheworld——itwearsnomoreThecoloringofromanceitwore，’\"
sighedAnne——andwasstraightwaymuchcomfortedbytheromanceintheideaoftheworldbeingdenudedofromance！
ChapterXL
ABookofRevelationTheIrvingscamebacktoEchoLodgeforthesummer，andAnnespentahappythreeweeksthereinJuly。MissLavendarhadnotchanged；
CharlottatheFourthwasaverygrown-upyoungladynow，butstilladoredAnnesincerely。
\"Whenall’ssaidanddone，MissShirley，ma’am，Ihaven’tseenanyoneinBostonthat’sequaltoyou，\"shesaidfrankly。
Paulwasalmostgrownup，too。Hewassixteen，hischestnutcurlshadgivenplacetoclose-croppedbrownlocks，andhewasmoreinterestedinfootballthanfairies。Butthebondbetweenhimandhisoldteacherstillheld。Kindredspiritsalonedonotchangewithchangingyears。
Itwasawet，bleak，crueleveninginJulywhenAnnecamebacktoGreenGables。Oneofthefiercesummerstormswhichsometimessweepoverthegulfwasravagingthesea。AsAnnecameinthefirstraindropsdashedagainstthepanes。
\"WasthatPaulwhobroughtyouhome？\"askedMarilla。\"Whydidn’tyoumakehimstayallnight。It’sgoingtobeawildevening。\"
\"He’llreachEchoLodgebeforetheraingetsveryheavy，Ithink。
Anyway，hewantedtogobacktonight。Well，I’vehadasplendidvisit，butI’mgladtoseeyoudearfolksagain。`East，west，hame’sbest。’Davy，haveyoubeengrowingagainlately？\"
\"I’vegrowedawholeinchsinceyouleft，\"saidDavyproudly。
\"I’mastallasMiltyBoulternow。Ain’tIglad。He’llhavetostopcrowingaboutbeingbigger。Say，Anne，didyouknowthatGilbertBlytheisdying？\"Annestoodquitesilentandmotionless，lookingatDavy。HerfacehadgonesowhitethatMarillathoughtshewasgoingtofaint。
\"Davy，holdyourtongue，\"saidMrs。Rachelangrily。\"Anne，don’tlooklikethat——DON’TLOOKLIKETHAT！Wedidn’tmeantotellyousosuddenly。\"
\"Is——it——true？\"askedAnneinavoicethatwasnothers。
\"Gilbertisveryill，\"saidMrs。Lyndegravely。\"HetookdownwithtyphoidfeverjustafteryouleftforEchoLodge。Didyouneverhearofit？\"
\"No，\"saidthatunknownvoice。
\"Itwasaverybadcasefromthestart。Thedoctorsaidhe’dbeenterriblyrundown。They’veatrainednurseandeverything’sbeendone。DON’Tlooklikethat，Anne。Whilethere’slifethere’shope。\"
\"Mr。Harrisonwasherethiseveningandhesaidtheyhadnohopeofhim，\"
reiteratedDavy。
Marilla，lookingoldandwornandtired，gotupandmarchedDavygrimlyoutofthekitchen。
\"Oh，DON’Tlookso，dear，\"saidMrs。Rachel，puttingherkindoldarmsaboutthepallidgirl。\"Ihaven’tgivenuphope，indeedIhaven’t。
He’sgottheBlytheconstitutioninhisfavor，that’swhat。\"
AnnegentlyputMrs。Lynde’sarmsawayfromher，walkedblindlyacrossthekitchen，throughthehall，upthestairstoheroldroom。
Atitswindowshekneltdown，staringoutunseeingly。Itwasverydark。
Therainwasbeatingdownovertheshiveringfields。TheHauntedWoodswasfullofthegroansofmightytreeswrunginthetempest，andtheairthrobbedwiththethunderouscrashofbillowsonthedistantshore。
AndGilbertwasdying！
ThereisabookofRevelationineveryone’slife，asthereisintheBible。
Annereadhersthatbitternight，asshekeptheragonizedvigilthroughthehoursofstormanddarkness。ShelovedGilbert——hadalwayslovedhim！
Sheknewthatnow。Sheknewthatshecouldnomorecasthimoutofherlifewithoutagonythanshecouldhavecutoffherrighthandandcastitfromher。
Andtheknowledgehadcometoolate——toolateevenforthebittersolaceofbeingwithhimatthelast。Ifshehadnotbeensoblind——sofoolish——shewouldhavehadtherighttogotohimnow。Buthewouldneverknowthatshelovedhim——hewouldgoawayfromthislifethinkingthatshedidnotcare。Oh，theblackyearsofemptinessstretchingbeforeher！
Shecouldnotlivethroughthem——shecouldnot！Shecowereddownbyherwindowandwished，forthefirsttimeinhergayyounglife，thatshecoulddie，too。IfGilbertwentawayfromher，withoutonewordorsignormessage，shecouldnotlive。Nothingwasofanyvaluewithouthim。
Shebelongedtohimandhetoher。Inherhourofsupremeagonyshehadnodoubtofthat。HedidnotloveChristineStuart——neverhadlovedChristineStuart。Oh，whatafoolshehadbeennottorealizewhatthebondwasthathadheldhertoGilbert——tothinkthattheflatteredfancyshehadfeltforRoyGardnerhadbeenlove。Andnowshemustpayforherfollyasforacrime。
Mrs。LyndeandMarillacrepttoherdoorbeforetheywenttobed，shooktheirheadsdoubtfullyateachotheroverthesilence，andwentaway。Thestormragedallnight，butwhenthedawncameitwasspent。Annesawafairyfringeoflightontheskirtsofdarkness。Soontheeasternhilltopshadafire-shotrubyrim。
Thecloudsrolledthemselvesawayintogreat，soft，whitemassesonthehorizon；theskygleamedblueandsilvery。Ahushfellovertheworld。
Annerosefromherkneesandcreptdownstairs。Thefreshnessoftherain-windblewagainstherwhitefaceasshewentoutintotheyard，andcooledherdry，burningeyes。Amerryrollickingwhistlewasliltingupthelane。AmomentlaterPacifiqueBuotecameinsight。
Anne’sphysicalstrengthsuddenlyfailedher。Ifshehadnotclutchedatalowwillowboughshewouldhavefallen。PacifiquewasGeorgeFletcher’shiredman，andGeorgeFletcherlivednextdoortotheBlythes。Mrs。FletcherwasGilbert’saunt。
Pacifiquewouldknowif——if——Pacifiquewouldknowwhattherewastobeknown。
Pacifiquestrodesturdilyonalongtheredlane，whistling。HedidnotseeAnne。Shemadethreefutileattemptstocallhim。
Hewasalmostpastbeforeshesucceededinmakingherquiveringlipscall，\"Pacifique！\"
Pacifiqueturnedwithagrinandacheerfulgoodmorning。
\"Pacifique，\"saidAnnefaintly，\"didyoucomefromGeorgeFletcher’sthismorning？\"
\"Sure，\"saidPacifiqueamiably。\"Igotdewordlas’nightdatmyfader，hewasseeck。ItwassostormydatIcouldn’tgoden，soI
startvairearlydismornin’。I’mgoin’troodewoodsforshortcut。\"
\"DidyouhearhowGilbertBlythewasthismorning？\"Anne’sdesperationdrovehertothequestion。Eventheworstwouldbemoreendurablethanthishideoussuspense。
\"He’sbetter，\"saidPacifique。\"Hegotdeturnlas’night。
Dedoctorsayhe’llbeallrightnowdissoonwhile。Hadcloseshave，dough！Datboy，hejus’keelhimselfatcollege。
Well，Imus’hurry。Deoldman，he’llbeinhurrytoseeme。\"
Pacifiqueresumedhiswalkandhiswhistle。Annegazedafterhimwitheyeswherejoywasdrivingoutthestrainedanguishofthenight。
Hewasaverylank，veryragged，veryhomelyyouth。Butinhersighthewasasbeautifulasthosewhobringgoodtidingsonthemountains。
Never，aslongasshelived，wouldAnneseePacifique’sbrown，round，black-eyedfacewithoutawarmremembranceofthemomentwhenhehadgiventohertheoilofjoyformourning。
LongafterPacifique’sgaywhistlehadfadedintothephantomofmusicandthenintosilencefarupunderthemaplesofLover’sLaneAnnestoodunderthewillows，tastingthepoignantsweetnessoflifewhensomegreatdreadhasbeenremovedfromit。Themorningwasacupfilledwithmistandglamor。Inthecornernearherwasarichsurpriseofnew-blown，crystal-dewedroses。
Thetrillsandtricklesofsongfromthebirdsinthebigtreeaboveherseemedinperfectaccordwithhermood。Asentencefromaveryold，verytrue，verywonderfulBookcametoherlips，\"Weepingmayendureforanightbutjoycomethinthemorning。\"
XLI
LoveTakesUptheGlassofTime\"I’vecomeuptoaskyoutogoforoneofourold-timeramblesthroughSeptemberwoodsand`overhillswherespicesgrow，’thisafternoon，\"saidGilbert，comingsuddenlyaroundtheporchcorner。
\"SupposewevisitHesterGray’sgarden。\"
Anne，sittingonthestonestepwithherlapfullofapale，filmy，greenstuff，lookedupratherblankly。
\"Oh，IwishIcould，\"shesaidslowly，\"butIreallycan’t，Gilbert。I’mgoingtoAlicePenhallow’sweddingthisevening，youknow。I’vegottodosomethingtothisdress，andbythetimeit’sfinishedI’llhavetogetready。I’msosorry。
I’dlovetogo。\"
\"Well，canyougotomorrowafternoon，then？\"askedGilbert，apparentlynotmuchdisappointed。
\"Yes，Ithinkso。\"
\"InthatcaseIshallhiemehomeatoncetodosomethingI
shouldotherwisehavetodotomorrow。SoAlicePenhallowistobemarriedtonight。Threeweddingsforyouinonesummer，Anne——Phil’s，Alice’s，andJane’s。I’llneverforgiveJanefornotinvitingmetoherwedding。\"
\"Youreallycan’tblameherwhenyouthinkofthetremendousAndrewsconnectionwhohadtobeinvited。Thehousecouldhardlyholdthemall。IwasonlybiddenbygraceofbeingJane’soldchum——atleastonJane’spart。IthinkMrs。Harmon’smotiveforinvitingmewastoletmeseeJane’ssurpassinggorgeousness。\"
\"Isittruethatsheworesomanydiamondsthatyoucouldn’ttellwherethediamondsleftoffandJanebegan？\"
Annelaughed。
\"Shecertainlyworeagoodmany。Whatwithallthediamondsandwhitesatinandtulleandlaceandrosesandorangeblossoms，primlittleJanewasalmostlosttosight。ButshewasVERY
happy，andsowasMr。Inglis——andsowasMrs。Harmon。\"
\"Isthatthedressyou’regoingtoweartonight？\"askedGilbert，lookingdownatthefluffsandfrills。
\"Yes。Isn’titpretty？AndIshallwearstarflowersinmyhair。
TheHauntedWoodisfullofthemthissummer。\"
GilberthadasuddenvisionofAnne，arrayedinafrillygreengown，withthevirginalcurvesofarmsandthroatslippingoutofit，andwhitestarsshiningagainstthecoilsofherruddyhair。
Thevisionmadehimcatchhisbreath。Butheturnedlightlyaway。
\"Well，I’llbeuptomorrow。Hopeyou’llhaveanicetimetonight。\"
Annelookedafterhimashestrodeaway，andsighed。Gilbertwasfriendly——veryfriendly——fartoofriendly。HehadcomequiteoftentoGreenGablesafterhisrecovery，andsomethingoftheiroldcomradeshiphadreturned。ButAnnenolongerfounditsatisfying。
Theroseoflovemadetheblossomoffriendshippaleandscentlessbycontrast。AndAnnehadagainbeguntodoubtifGilbertnowfeltanythingforherbutfriendship。Inthecommonlightofcommondayherradiantcertaintyofthatraptmorninghadfaded。Shewashauntedbyamiserablefearthathermistakecouldneverberectified。
ItwasquitelikelythatitwasChristinewhomGilbertlovedafterall。
Perhapshewasevenengagedtoher。Annetriedtoputallunsettlinghopesoutofherheart，andreconcileherselftoafuturewhereworkandambitionmusttaketheplaceoflove。Shecoulddogood，ifnotnoble，workasateacher；andthesuccessherlittlesketcheswerebeginningtomeetwithincertaineditorialsanctumsauguredwellforherbuddingliterarydreams。But——but——Annepickeduphergreendressandsighedagain。
WhenGilbertcamethenextafternoonhefoundAnnewaitingforhim，freshasthedawnandfairasastar，afterallthegaietyoftheprecedingnight。Sheworeagreendress——nottheoneshehadworntothewedding，butanoldonewhichGilberthadtoldherataRedmondreceptionhelikedespecially。Itwasjusttheshadeofgreenthatbroughtouttherichtintsofherhair，andthestarrygrayofhereyesandtheiris-likedelicacyofherskin。Gilbert，glancingathersidewaysastheywalkedalongashadowywoodpath，thoughtshehadneverlookedsolovely。Anne，glancingsidewaysatGilbert，nowandthen，thoughthowmucholderhelookedsincehisillness。Itwasasifhehadputboyhoodbehindhimforever。
Thedaywasbeautifulandthewaywasbeautiful。AnnewasalmostsorrywhentheyreachedHesterGray’sgarden，andsatdownontheoldbench。Butitwasbeautifulthere，too——asbeautifulasithadbeenonthefarawaydayoftheGoldenPicnic，whenDianaandJaneandPriscillaandshehadfoundit。Thenithadbeenlovelywithnarcissusandviolets；nowgoldenrodhadkindleditsfairytorchesinthecornersandastersdotteditbluely。Thecallofthebrookcameupthroughthewoodsfromthevalleyofbircheswithallitsoldallurement；themellowairwasfullofthepurrofthesea；beyondwerefieldsrimmedbyfencesbleachedsilverygrayinthesunsofmanysummers，andlonghillsscarfedwiththeshadowsofautumnalclouds；withtheblowingofthewestwindolddreamsreturned。
\"Ithink，\"saidAnnesoftly，\"that`thelandwheredreamscometrue’
isinthebluehazeyonder，overthatlittlevalley。\"
\"Haveyouanyunfulfilleddreams，Anne？\"askedGilbert。
Somethinginhistone——somethingshehadnotheardsincethatmiserableeveningintheorchardatPatty’sPlace——madeAnne’sheartbeatwildly。Butshemadeanswerlightly。
\"Ofcourse。Everybodyhas。Itwouldn’tdoforustohaveallourdreamsfulfilled。Wewouldbeasgoodasdeadifwehadnothinglefttodreamabout。Whatadeliciousaromathatlow-descendingsunisextractingfromtheastersandferns。
Iwishwecouldseeperfumesaswellassmellthem。I’msuretheywouldbeverybeautiful。\"
Gilbertwasnottobethussidetracked。
\"Ihaveadream，\"hesaidslowly。\"Ipersistindreamingit，althoughithasoftenseemedtomethatitcouldnevercometrue。
Idreamofahomewithahearth-fireinit，acatanddog，thefootstepsoffriends——andYOU！\"
Annewantedtospeakbutshecouldfindnowords。Happinesswasbreakingoverherlikeawave。Italmostfrightenedher。
\"Iaskedyouaquestionovertwoyearsago，Anne。IfIaskitagaintodaywillyougivemeadifferentanswer？\"
StillAnnecouldnotspeak。Butsheliftedhereyes，shiningwithallthelove-raptureofcountlessgenerations，andlookedintohisforamoment。Hewantednootheranswer。
Theylingeredintheoldgardenuntiltwilight，sweetasduskinEdenmusthavebeen，creptoverit。Therewassomuchtotalkoverandrecall——thingssaidanddoneandheardandthoughtandfeltandmisunderstood。
\"IthoughtyoulovedChristineStuart，\"Annetoldhim，asreproachfullyasifshehadnotgivenhimeveryreasontosupposethatshelovedRoyGardner。
Gilbertlaughedboyishly。
\"Christinewasengagedtosomebodyinherhometown。IknewitandsheknewIknewit。WhenherbrothergraduatedhetoldmehissisterwascomingtoKingsportthenextwintertotakemusic，andaskedmeifIwouldlookafterherabit，assheknewnooneandwouldbeverylonely。SoIdid。AndthenIlikedChristineforherownsake。SheisoneofthenicestgirlsI’veeverknown。Iknewcollegegossipcrediteduswithbeinginlovewitheachother。Ididn’tcare。Nothingmatteredmuchtomeforatimethere，afteryoutoldmeyoucouldneverloveme，Anne。
Therewasnobodyelse——therenevercouldbeanybodyelseformebutyou。I’velovedyoueversincethatdayyoubrokeyourslateovermyheadinschool。\"
\"Idon’tseehowyoucouldkeeponlovingmewhenIwassuchalittlefool，\"saidAnne。
\"Well，Itriedtostop，\"saidGilbertfrankly，\"notbecauseI
thoughtyouwhatyoucallyourself，butbecauseIfeltsuretherewasnochanceformeafterGardnercameonthescene。ButI
couldn’t——andIcan’ttellyou，either，whatit’smeanttomethesetwoyearstobelieveyouweregoingtomarryhim，andbetoldeveryweekbysomebusybodythatyourengagementwasonthepointofbeingannounced。IbelievedituntiloneblesseddaywhenIwassittingupafterthefever。IgotaletterfromPhilGordon——PhilBlake，rather——inwhichshetoldmetherewasreallynothingbetweenyouandRoy，andadvisedmeto`tryagain。’
Well，thedoctorwasamazedatmyrapidrecoveryafterthat。\"
Annelaughed——thenshivered。
\"IcanneverforgetthenightIthoughtyouweredying，Gilbert。
Oh，Iknew——IKNEWthen——andIthoughtitwastoolate。\"
\"Butitwasn’t，sweetheart。Oh，Anne，thismakesupforeverything，doesn’tit？Let’sresolvetokeepthisdaysacredtoperfectbeautyallourlivesforthegiftithasgivenus。\"
\"It’sthebirthdayofourhappiness，\"saidAnnesoftly。
\"I’vealwayslovedthisoldgardenofHesterGray’s，andnowitwillbedearerthanever。\"
\"ButI’llhavetoaskyoutowaitalongtime，Anne，\"
saidGilbertsadly。\"ItwillbethreeyearsbeforeI’llfinishmymedicalcourse。Andeventhentherewillbenodiamondsunburstsandmarblehalls。\"
Annelaughed。
\"Idon’twantsunburstsandmarblehalls。IjustwantYOU。
YouseeI’mquiteasshamelessasPhilaboutit。Sunburstsandmarblehallsmaybeallverywell，butthereismore`scopeforimagination’withoutthem。Andasforthewaiting，thatdoesn’tmatter。We’lljustbehappy，waitingandworkingforeachother——anddreaming。Oh，dreamswillbeverysweetnow。\"
Gilbertdrewherclosetohimandkissedher。Thentheywalkedhometogetherinthedusk，crownedkingandqueeninthebridalrealmoflove，alongwindingpathsfringedwiththesweetestflowersthateverbloomed，andoverhauntedmeadowswherewindsofhopeandmemoryblew。
End
