第5章

类别:其他 作者:William Dean Howells字数:22059更新时间:18/12/21 16:56:19
“It’saverygoodbeginning,Ishouldthink。” “Well,don’tyouthinkyououghttosaynowthatyou’resorryyouweresoformidable?” “AmIsoformidable?”sheasked,andthenrecognisedthatshehadbeentrappedintoaleadingquestion。 “Youaretome。BecauseIwouldlikealwaystobesurethatIhadpleasedyou,andforthelasttwelvehoursI’veonlybeenabletomakesurethatIhadn’t。That’stheconsolationI’mgoingawaywith。I thoughtI’dgetyoutoconfirmmyimpressionexplicitly。That’swhyI wishedtojoinyou。” “Areyou——wereyougoingaway?” “I’mgoingbythenextboat。What’stheuseofstaying?Ishouldonlymakebadworse。YesterdayIhopedButlastnightspoiledeverything。 “MissPasmer。”hebrokeout,witharushoffeeling,“youmustknowwhyI cameupheretoCampobello。” Hisstepstookhimalittleaheadofher,andhecouldlookbackintoherfaceashespoke。Butapparentlyhesawnothinginittogivehimcouragetogoon,forhestopped,andthencontinued,lightly:“AndI’mgoingawaybecauseIfeelthatI’vemadeafailureoftheexpedition。I knewthatyouweresupremelydisgustedwithmelastnight;butitwillbeasortofcomfortifyou’lltellmeso。” “Oh。”saidAlice,“everybodythoughtitwasverybrilliant,I’msure。” “Andyouthoughtitwasapieceofbuffoonery。Well,itwas。Iwishyou’dsayso,MissPasmer;thoughIdidn’tmeantheplayingentirely。Itwouldbesomethingtostartfrom,andIwanttomakeabeginning——turnoveranewleaf。Can’tyouhelpmetoinscribeagoodresolutionofthemostiron-claddescriptiononthestainlesspage?I’velainawakeallnightcomposingone。Wouldn’tyouliketohearit?” “Ican’tseewhatgoodthatwoulddo。”shesaid,withsomerelentingtowardasmile,inwhichheinstantlypreparedhimselftobask。 “ButyouwillwhenI’vedoneit。Nowlisten!“ “Pleasedon’tgoon。”Shecuthimshortwithareturntoherseverity,whichhewouldnotrecognise。 “Well,perhapsI’dbetternot。”heconsented。“It’sratheralongresolution,andIdon’tknowthatI’vecommitteditperfectlyyet。ButI doassureyouthatifyouweredisgustedlastnight,youwerenottheonlyone。Iwasimmenselydisgustedmyself;andwhyIwantedyoutotellmeso,wasbecausewhenIhaveastrongpressurebroughttobearIcanbraceup,anddoalmostanything。”hesaid,droppingintoearnest。Thenheroselightlyagain,andadded,“Youhavenoideahowunpleasantitistolieawakeallnightthrowingdustintheeyesofanaccusingconscience。” “Itmusthavebeen,ifyoudidn’tsucceed。”saidAlicedrily。 “Yes,that’sit——that’sjustthepoint。IfI’dsucceeded,Ishouldbeallright,don’tyousee。Butitwasadifficultcase。”Sheturnedherfaceaway,buthesawthesmileonhercheek,andhelaughedasifthiswerewhathehadbeentryingtomakeherdo。“Igotbeaten。Ihadtogiveup,andownit。IhadtosaythatIhadthrownmychanceaway,andIhadbettertakemyselfoff。”Helookedatherwitharealanxietyinhisgayeyes。 “Theboatgoesjustafterlunch,Ibelieve。”shesaidindifferently。 “Ohyes,IshallhavetimetogetlunchbeforeIgo。”hesaid,withbitterness。“Butlunchisn’ttheonlything;itisn’teventhemainthing,MissPasmer。” “No?”Shehardenedherheart。 Hewaitedforhertosaysomethingmore,andthenhewenton。“Thequestioniswhetherthere’stimetoundolastnight,abolishit,eraseitfromthecalendarofrecordedtime——spongeitout,inshort——andgetbacktoyesterdayafternoon。”Shemadenoreplytothis。“Don’tyouthinkitwasaverypleasantpicnic,MissPasmer?”heasked,withpensiverespectfulness。 “Very。”sheanswereddrily。 Hecastaglanceatthewoodsthatborderedtheroadoneitherside。 “Thatweirdforest——Ishallneverforgetit。” “No;itwassomethingtoremember。”shesaid。 “Andtheblueberrypatch?Wemustn’tforgettheblueberrypatch。” “Therewereagreatmanyblueberries。” Shewalkedon,andhesaid,“Andthatbridge——youdon’thavethatfeelingofhavingbeenherebefore?” “No。” “AmIwalkingtoofastforyou,MissPasmer?” “No;Iliketowalkfast。” “Butwouldn’tyouliketositdown?Onthiswaysidelog,forexample?” Hepointeditoutwithhisstick。“Itseemstoinviterepose,andIknowyoumustbetired。” “I’mnottired。” “Ah,thatshowsthatyoudidn’tlieawakegrievingoveryourfolliesallnight。Ihopeyourestedwell,MissPasmer。”Shesaidnothing。“IfI thought——ifIcouldhopethatyouhadn’t,itwouldbeabondofsympathy,andIwouldgivealmostanythingforabondofsympathyjustnow,MissPasmer。Alice!“hesaid,withsuddenseriousness。“IknowthatI’mnotworthyeventothinkofyou,andthatyou’rewholeworldsabovemeineveryway。It’sthatthattakesallheartoutofme,andleavesmewithoutawordtosaywhenI’dliketosaysomuch。Iwouldliketospeak——tellyou——“ Sheinterruptedhim。“Iwishtospeaktoyou,Mr。Mavering,andtellyouthat——I’mverytired,andI’mgoingbacktothehotel。Imustaskyoutoletmegobackalone。” “Alice,Iloveyou。” “I’msorryyousaidit——sorry,sorry。” “Why?”heasked,withhopelessfutility。 “Becausetherecanbenolovebetweenus——notfriendshipeven——notacquaintance。” “Ishouldn’thaveaskedforyouracquaintance,yourfriendship,if——“ Hiswordsconveyedadelicatereproach,andtheystungher,becausetheyputherinthewrong。 “Nomatter。”shebeganwildly。“Ididn’tmeantowoundyou。Butwemustpart,andwemustneverseeeachotheragain:“ Hestoodconfused,asifhecouldnotmakeitoutorbelieveit。“Butyesterday——“ “It’sto-daynow。” “Ah,no!It’slastnight。AndIcanexplain。” “No!“shecried。“Youshallnotmakemeoutsomeanandvindictive。I don’tcareforlastnight,norforanythingthathappened。”Thiswasnottrue,butitseemedsotoheratthemoment;shethoughtthatshereallynolongerresentedhisassociationwithMissAndersonandhisseparationfromherselfinallthathadtakenplace。 “Thenwhatisit?” “Ican’ttellyou。Buteverythingisoverbetweenus——that’sall。” “Butyesterday——andallthesedayspast——youseemed——“ “It’sunfairofyoutoinsist——it’sungenerous,ungentlemanly。” Thatword,whichfromawoman’stonguealwaysstrikesamanlikeablowintheface,silencedMavering。Hesethislipsandbowed,andtheyparted。Sheturneduponherway,andhekeptthepathwhichshehadbeengoing。 Itwasnotthehourwhenthepiazzaswereveryfull,andsheslippedintothedimhotelcorridorundetected,oratleastundetained。Sheflungintoherroom,andconfrontedhermother。 Mrs。Pasmerwastherelookingintoatrunkthathadoverflowedfromherownchamber。“Whatisthematter?”shesaidtoherdaughter’sexcitedface。 “Mr。Mavering——“ “Well?” “AndIrefusedhim。” Mrs。Pasmerwasoneofthoseladieswhoinanyfinalityhaveakeenretrovisionofalltheadvantagesofadifferentconclusion。Shehadbeenthinking,sinceshetoldDanMaveringwhichwayAlicehadgonetowalk,thatifheweretospeaktohernow,andsheweretoaccepthim,itwouldinvolveagreatmanyembarrassingconsequences;butshehadconsoledherselfwiththeprobabilitythathewouldnotspeaksosoonaftertheeffectsoflastnight,butwouldonlytryatthefurthesttomakehispeacewithAlice。Sincehehadspoken,though,andshehadrefusedhim,Mrs。Pasmerinstantlysawallthepleasantthingsthatwouldhavefollowedinanotherevent。“Refusedhim?”sherepeatedprovisionally,whileshegatheredherselfforafullexplorationofallthefacts。 “Yes,mamma;andIcan’ttalkaboutit。Iwishnevertohearhisnameagain,ortoseehim,ortospeaktohim。” “Why,ofcoursenot。”saidMrs。Pasmer,withafinesmile,fromthevantage-groundofhersuperioryears,“ifyou’verefusedhim。”Sheleftthetrunkwhichshehadbeenstandingover,andsatdown,whileAliceswepttoandfrobeforeherexcitedly。“Butwhydidyourefusehim,mydear?” “Why?Becausehe’sdetestable——perfectlyignoble。” Hermotherprobablyknewhowtotranslatetheseexaltedexpressionsintothemoreaccuratelanguageofmaturerlife。“Doyoumeanlastnight?” “Lastnight?”criedAlicetragically。“No。WhyshouldIcareforlastnight?” “ThenIdon’tunderstandwhatyoumean。”retortedMrs。Pasmer。“Whatdidhesay?”shedemanded,withauthority。 “Mamma,Ican’ttalkaboutit——Iwon’t。” “Butyoumust,Alice。It’syourduty。OfcourseImustknowaboutit。 Whatdidhesay?” Alicewalkedupanddowntheroomwithherlipsfirmlyclosed——likeMavering’slips,itoccurredtoher;andthensheopenedthem,butwithoutspeaking。 “Whatdidhesay?”persistedhermother,andherpersistencehaditseffect。 “Say?”exclaimedthegirlindignantly。“Hetriedtomakemesay。” “Isee。”saidMrs。Pasmer。“Well?” “ButIforcedhimtospeak,andthen——Irejectedhim。That’sall。” “Poorfellow!“saidMrs。Pasmer。“Hewasafraidofyou。” “Andthat’swhatmadeitthemoreodious。DoyouthinkIwishedhimtobeafraidofme?Wouldthatbeanypleasure?IshouldhatemyselfifI hadtoquellanybodyintobeingunlikethemselves。”Shesatdownforamoment,andthenjumpedupagain,andwenttothewindow,fornoreason,andcameback。 “Yes。”saidhermotherimpartially,“he’slight,andhe’sroundabout。Hecouldn’tcomestraightatanything。” “Andwouldyouhavemeacceptsucha——being?” Mrs。Pasmersmiledalittleattheliteraryword,andcontinued:“Buthe’sverysweet,andhe’sasgoodastheday’slong,andhe’sveryfondofyou,and——Ithoughtyoulikedhim。” Thegirlthrewupherarmsacrosshereyes。“Oh,howcanyousaysuchathing,mamma?” Shedroppedintoachairatthebedside,andletherfacefallintoherhands,andcried。 Hermotherwaitedforthegustoftearstopassbeforeshesaid,“Butifyoufeelsoaboutit——“ “Mamma!“Alicesprangtoherfeet。 “Itneedn’tcomefromyou。Icouldmakesomeexcusetoseehim——writehimalittlenote——“ “Never!“exclaimedAlicegrandly。“WhatI’vedoneI’vedonefrommyreason,andmyfeelingshavenothingtodowithit。” “Oh,verywell。”saidhermother,goingoutoftheroom,notwhollydisappointedwithwhatsheviewedasarespite,andamusedbyherdaughter’stragics。“Butifyouthinkthatthefeelingshavenothingtodowithsuchamatter,you’reverymuchmistaken。”IfshebelievedthatherdaughterdidnotknowherrealmotivesinrejectingDanMavering,orhadnotbeenabletogivethem,shedidnotsayso。 ThelittlegroupofAliceolatersonthepiazza,whobegantocanvassthecausesofMavering’sgoingbeforethetopofhishatdisappearedbelowthebankonthepathleadingtotheferry-boat,wereoftwominds。OnefactionheldthathewasgoingbecauseAlicehadrefusedhim,andthathisgaietyuptothelastmomentwasonlyamasktohidehisdespair。 Theothersidecontendedthat,ifheandAlicewerenotactuallyengaged,theyunderstoodeachother,andhewasgoingawaybecausehewantedtotellhisfamily,orsomethingofthatkind。BetweenthetwoopinionsMissCottonwaveredwithasentimentalattractiontoeither。“Whatdoyoureallythink?”sheaskedMrs。Brinkley,arrivingfromlunchatthecornerofthepiazzawherethegroupwasseated。 “Oh,whatdoesitmatter,attheirage?”shedemanded。 “Butthey’rejustoftheagewhenitdoeshappentomatter。”suggestedMrs。Stamwell。 “Yes。”saidMrs。Brinkley,“andthat’swhatmakesthewholethingsoperfectlyridiculous。Justthinkoftwochildren,oneoftwentyandtheotheroftwenty-three,proposingtodecidetheirlifelongdestinyinsuchavitalmatter!Shouldwetrusttheirjudgmentinregardtothesmallestbusinessaffair?Ofcoursenot。They’rebabesinarms,morallyandmentallyspeaking。Peoplehaven’tthedataforbeingwiselyinlovetillthey’vereachedtheagewhentheyhaven’ttheleastwishtobeso。Oh,I supposeIthoughtthatIwasagrownwomantoowhenIwastwenty;IcanlookbackandseethatIdid;and,what’smorepreposterousstill,I thoughtMr。Brinkleywasamanattwenty-four。Butwewerenomorefittoacceptorrejecteachotheratthatinfantileperiod——“ “Doyoureallythinkso?”askedMissCotton,onlypartiallycredulousofMrs。Brinkley’sirony。 “Yes,itdoesseemoutofallreason。”admittedMrs。Stamwell。 “Ofcourseitis。”saidMrs。Brinkley。“Ifshehasrejectedhim,she’sdoneaverysafething。Nobodyshouldbeallowedtomarrybeforefifty。 Then,ifpeoplemarried,itwouldbebecausetheyknewthattheylovedeachother。” MissCottonreflectedamoment。“Itisstrangethatsuchanimportantquestionshouldhavetobedecidedatanagewhenthejudgmentissofarfrommature。Ineverhappenedtolookatitinthatlightbefore。” “Yes。”saidMrs。Brinkley——andshemadeherselfcomfortableinanarmchaircommandingastretchofthebayoverwhichtheferry-boatmustpass——“butit’sonlypartandparcelofthewholeaffair。I’msurethatnogrownpersoncanseetheridiculousyoungthings——inexperienced,ignorant,featherbrained——thatnatureintrustswithchildren,theirimmortallittlesoulsandtheirextremelyperishablelittlebodies,withoutrebellingatthewholesystem。Whenyouseewhatmostyoungmothersare,howperfectlyunfitandincapable,youwonderthatthewholeracedoesn’tteethanddie。Yes,there’sonethingIfeelprettysureof——that,asmattersarearrangednow,thereoughtn’ttobemothersatall,thereoughttobeonlygrandmothers。” Thegroupalllaughed,evenMissCotton,butshewasthefirsttobecomegrave。Atthebottomofherhearttherewasadoubtwhethersolightawayoftreatingseriousthingswasnotalittlewicked。 “Perhaps。”shesaid,“weshallhavetogobacktotheideathatengagementsandmarriagesarenotintendedtoberegulatedbythejudgment,butbytheaffections。” “Idon’tknowwhat’sintended。”saidMrs。Brinkley,“butIknowwhatis。 Inninety-ninecasesoutofahundredtheaffectionshaveittheirownway,andImustsayIdon’tthinkthejudgmentcouldmakeagreatermessofit。Infact。”shecontinued,perhapsprovokedtotheexcessbythedeprecationshesawinMissCotton’seye,“Iconsidereverybrokenengagementnowadaysablessingindisguise。” MissCottonsaidnothing。Theotherladiessaid,“Why,Mrs。Brinkley!“ “Yes。Thethinghasgonealtogethertoofar。Thependulumhasswunginthatdirectionoutofallmeasure。Wearemarriedtoomuch。Andasanaturalconsequencewearedivorcedtoomuch。Thewholecaseisinanutshell:iftherewerenomarriages,therewouldbenodivorces,andthatgreatabusewouldbecorrected,atanyrate。” Alltheladieslaughed,MissCottonmoreandmoresorrowfully。Shelikedtohavepeopletalkastheydoingenteelnovels。Mrs。Brinkley’sboldexpressionswereaseriesofviolentshockstohernature,andimpartedaterriblevibrationtothefabricofherwholelittlerose-colouredidealworld;iftheyhadnotbeentheexpressionsofapersonwhomagreatmanyunquestionablepersonsaccepted,whohadsuchanundoubtedstanding,shewouldhavethoughtthemverycoarse。Asitwas,theyhadagreatfascinationforher。“Butinacaselikethatof“——shelookedroundandloweredhervoice——“ouryoungfriends,I’msureyoucouldn’trejoiceiftheengagementwerebrokenoff。” “Well,I’mnotgoingtobe’amushofconcession,’asEmersonsays,MissCotton。And,inthefirstplace,howdoyouknowthey’reengaged?” “Ah,Idon’t;Ididn’tmeanthattheywere。Butwouldn’titbealittlepatheticif,afterallthatwe’veseengoingon,hiscominghereexpresslyonheraccount,andhisperfectdevotiontoherforthepasttwoweeks,itshouldendinnothing?” “Twoweeksisn’taverylongtimetosettlethebusinessofalifetime。” “No。” “Perhapsshe’sproposeddelay;alittlefurtheracquaintance。” “Oh,ofcoursethatwouldbeperfectlyright。Doyouthinkshedid?” “Notifshe’saswiseastherestofuswouldhavebeenatherage。ButIthinksheought。” “Yes?”saidMissCottonsemi-interrogatively。 “Doyouthinkhisbehaviourlastnightwouldnaturallyimpressherwithhiswisdomandconstancy?” “No,Ican’tsaythatitwould,but——“ “AndthisAliceofyoursisratherasevereyoungperson。Shehasherideas,andI’mafraidthey’reratherheroic。She’dbejustwithhim,ofcourse。Butthere’snothingamandreadssomuchasjustice——somemen。” “Yes。”pursuedMissCotton,“butthatverydisparity——Iknowthey’reveryunlike——don’tyouthink——“ “Ohyes,Iknowthetheoryaboutthat。Butiftheywereexactlyalikeintemperament,they’dbesufficientlyunlikeforthepurposesofcounterparts。Thatwasarrangedonceforallwhen’maleandfemalecreatedHethem。’I’venodoubttheirfancywascaughtbyallthekindsofdifferencetheyfindineachother;that’sjustasnaturalasit’ssilly。Butthemisunderstanding,thetrouble,thequarrelling,thewearandtearofspirit,thatthey’dhavetogothroughbeforetheyassimilated——itmakesmetired,astheboyssay。No:Ihope,fortheyoungman’sownsake,he’sgothisconge。” “Buthe’ssokind,sogood“ “Mydear,theworldissurfeitedwithkind,goodmen。Therearehalfadozenofthemattheotherendofthepiazzasmoking;andtherecomesanothertojointhem。”sheadded,asalargefigure,semicircularinprofile,advanceditselffromadoorwaytowardavacantchairamongthesmokers。“Theverysoulofkindnessandgoodness。”Shebeckonedtowardherhusband,whocaughtsightofhergesture。“NowIcantellyouallhismentalprocesses。First,surpriseatseeingsomeonebeckoning;thenastonishmentthatit’sI,thoughwhoelseshouldbeckonhim?——thenwonderwhatIcanwant;thenconjecturethatImaywanthimtocomehere;thenprideinhisconjecture;rebellion;compliance。” TheladieswereinascreamoflaughterasMr。Brinkleylumberedheavilytotheirgroup。 “Whatisit?”heasked。 “Doyoubelieveinbrokenengagements?Nowquick——off-hand!“ “Who’sengaged?” “Nomatter。” “Well,youknowPunch’sadvicetothoseabouttomarry?” “Iknow——chestnuts。”saidhiswifescornfully。Theydismissedeachotherwithtenderbluntness,andhewentintogetamatch。 “Ah,Mrs。Brinkley。”saidoneoftheladies,“itwouldbeofnouseforyoutopreachbrokenengagementstoanyonewhosawyouandMr。Brinkleytogether。”Theyfelluponher,oneafteranother,andmockedherwiththedifferencebetweenherdoctrineandpractice;andtheywereallthemoreagainstherbecausetheyhadbeenperhapsalittleputdownbyherwhimsicalsayings。 “Yes。”sheadmitted。“Butwe’vebeenthirtyyearscomingtotheunderstandingthatyoualladmiresomuch;anddoyouthinkitwasworththetime?” XXI。 Maveringkeptupuntilhetookleaveofthepartyofyoungpeoplewhohadcomeoverontheferry-boattoEastportforthefrolicofseeinghimoff。 Itwasatremendoustourdeforcetoaccepttheircompanyasifheweregladofit,andtorespondtoalltheirgaynothingsgaily;tomaintainasunnysurfaceonhisturbidmisery。TheyhadtriedtomakeAlicecomewiththem,buthermotherpleadedabadheadacheforher;andhehadtoparryahundredsalliesabouther,andfromhissickhearthumourthepopularinsinuationthattherewasanunderstandingbetweenthem,andthattheyhadagreedtogethersheshouldnotcome。HehadtostandaboutonthesteamboatwharfandlistentoamiableinnuendoesfornearlyanhourbeforethesteamercameinfromSt。John。Thefondadieuxofhisfriends,theirofferstotakeanymessageback,lastedduringtheinterminablefifteenminutesthatshelayathermoorings,andthenheshowedhimselfatthesternoftheboat,andwavedhishandkerchiefinacknowledgmentofthelastpartingsalutationsonshore。 Whenitwasallover,hewentdownintohisstate-room,andshuthimselfin,andlethismiseryrolloverhim。Hefeltasiftherewereafloodofit,anditwashedhimtoandfro,onegallofshame,ofself-accusal,ofbitterness,fromheadtofoot。ButinitallhefeltnoresentmenttowardAlice,nowishtowreakanysmallestpartofhissufferinguponher。Evenwhilehehadhopedforherlove,itseemedtohimthathehadnotseenherinallthatperfectionwhichshenowhadinirreparableloss。Hissoulboweditselffondlyoverthethoughtofher;and,stungashewasbythatlastcruelwordofhers,hecouldnotupbraidher。 Thathumilitywhichislovecastingoutselfishness,themostegotisticofthepassionstriumphingoveritself——Maveringexperiencedittothefull。Hetookalltheblame。Hecouldnotseethatshehadeverencouragedhimtohopeforherlove,whichnowappearedatreasureheaven——farbeyondhisscope;hecouldonlycallhimselffool,andfool,andfool,andwonderthathecouldhavemetherintheremotenessofthatmorningwiththebeliefthatbutforthefolliesoflastnightshemighthaveansweredhimdifferently。Hebelievednowthat,whateverhadgonebefore,shemuststillhaverejectedhim。Shehadtreatedhispresumptionveryleniently;shehadreallysparedhim。 Itwenton,overandover。Sometimesitvariedalittle,aswhenhethoughtofhow,whensheshouldtellhermother,Mrs。Pasmermustlaugh。 Hepicturedthembothlaughingathim;andthenMr。Pasmer——hehadscarcelypassedadozenwordswithhim-cominginandaskingwhattheywerelaughingat,andtheirsaying,andhislaughingtoo。 Atothertimeshefiguredthemasincensedathistemerity,whichmustseemtothemgreaterandgreater,asnowitseemedtohim。Hehadneverthoughtmeanlyofhimself,andtheworldsofarhadseemedtothinkwellofhim;butbecauseAlicePasmerwasimpossibletohim,hefeltthatitwasanunpardonableboldnessinhimtohavedreamedofher。WhatmusttheybesayingofhishavingpassedfromthegroundofsocietycomplimentsandlightflirtationtoactuallytellingAlicethathelovedher? HewonderedwhatMrs。PasmerhadthoughtofhistellingherthathehadcometoCampobellotoconsiderthequestionwhetherheshouldstudylaworgointobusiness,andwhatmotiveshehadsupposedhehadintellingherthat。Heaskedhimselfwhatmotivehehad,andtriedtopretendthathehadnone。HedramatisedconversationswithMrs。Pasmerinwhichhelaugheditoff。 Hotriedtorememberallthathadpassedthedaybeforeatthepicnic,andwhetherAlicehaddoneorsaidanythingtoencouragehim,andhecouldnotfindthatshehad。Allhertrustandfreedomwasbecauseshefeltperfectlysafewithhimfromanysuchdisgustingabsurdityashehadbeenguiltyof。Theridehomethroughthemist,withitssweetintimacy,thatpartingwhichhadseemedsofulloftenderintelligence,werepartsofthesameillusion。Therehadbeennothingofitonhersidefromthebeginningbutakindlinesswhichhehadnowflungawayforever。 Hewentbacktothebeginning,andtriedtorememberthepointwherehehadstartedinthisfatallabyrinthoferror。Shehadnevermisledhim,buthehadmisledhimselffromthefirstglimpseofher。 Whateverwasbestinhislightnature,whateverwasgenerousandself- denying,cameoutinthishumiliation。Fromthevisionofherderisionhepassedtoapictureofhersufferingfrompityforhim,andwrungwithasenseofthepainshehadgivenhim。Hepromisedhimselftowritetoher,andbeghernottocareforhim,becausehewasnotworthyofthat。 Heframedaletterinhismind,inwhichheposedinsomenobleattitudes,andbroughttearsintohiseyesbyhismagnanimousappealtohernottosufferforthesakeofonesounworthyofherseriousthought。 Hepicturedhergreatlymovedbysomeofthephrases,andhecomposedforherareply,whichledtoanotherletterfromhim,andsotoacorrespondenceandalongandtenderfriendship。Intheendhediedsuddenly,andthenshediscoveredthatshehadalwayslovedhim。Hediscoveredthathewasplayingthefoolagain,andherosefromtheberthwherehehadtumbledhimself。Thestate-roomhadthatsmellofparboiledpaintwhichstate-roomshave,andremindedhimofthesteamerinwhichhehadgonetoEuropewhenaboy,withthefamily,justafterhismother’shealthbegantofail。 Hewentdownonthedeckneartheladies’saloon,wherethesecond-classpassengersweregatheredlisteningtothesamebandofplantationnegroeswhohadamusedhimsomuchontheeastwardtrip。ThepassengersweremostlypockmarkedProvincials,andmanyofthemwerewomen;theyloungedonthebarrelsofapplesneatlypiledup,andlistenedtothemusicwithoutsmiling。Oneofthenegroeswassingingtothebanjo,andanotherbegantodotherheumaticuncle’sbreakdown。Maveringsaidtohimself:“Ican’tstandthat。Oh,whatafoolIam!Alice,Iloveyou。 Omercifulheavens!Oinfernaljackass!Ow!Gaw!“ AtthebowoftheboathefoundagangofItalianlabourersreturningtotheStatesaftersomejobintheProvinces。TheysmokedtheirpipesandwhinedtheirNeapolitandialecttogether。ItmadeMaveringthinkofDante,oftheInferno,towhichhepassednaturallyfromhisself- denunciationforhavingbeenaninfernaljackass。Theinscriptiononthegateofhellranthroughhismind。Hethoughthewouldmakehislife—— hisdesolate,brokenlife——aperpetualexile,likeDante’s。Atthesametimehegroundhisteeth,andmuttered:“Oh,whatafoolIam!Oh,idiot!beast!Oh!oh!“Thepipesremindedhimtosmoke,andhetookouthiscigarettecase。TheItalianslookedathim;hegaveallthecigarettesamongthem,withoutkeepinganyforhimself。Hedeterminedtospendthemiserableremnantofhislifeingoingaboutdoinggoodandbestowingalms。 Hegroanedaloud,sothattheItaliansnoticedit,anddoubtlessspokeofitamongthemselves。Hecouldnotunderstandtheirdialect,buthefeignedthemsayingrespectfullycompassionatethings。Thenhegnashedhisteethagain,andcursedhisfolly。Whenthebellrangforsupperhefoundhimselfveryhungry,andateheavily。Afterthathewentoutinfrontofthecabin,andwalkedupanddown,thinking,andtryingnottothink。Theturmoilinhismindtiredhimlikeaprodigiousphysicalexertion。 Towardteno’clockthenightgrewrougher。Theseawassophosphorescentthatitbrokeinsheetsandflakesofpalebluishflamefromthebowsandwheel-houses,andoutinthedarkthewavesrevealedthemselvesinflashesandlonggleamsoffire。OneoftheofficersoftheboatcameandhungwithMaveringovertheguard。Theweirdlightfromthewaterwasreflectedontheirfaces,andshowedthemtoeachother。 “Well,Ineversawanythinglikethisbefore。Lookslikehell;don’tit?”saidtheofficer。 “Yes。”saidMavering。“Isituncommon?” “Well,Ishouldsayso。Iguesswe’regoingtohaveapicnic。” Maveringthoughtofblueberries,buthedidnotsayanything。 “Iguessit’sgoingtobearegularcircus。” Maveringdidnotcare。Heaskedincuriously,“Howdoyoufindyourcourseinsuchweather?” “Well,weguesswhereweare,andthengivehersomanyturnsofthewheel。”Theofficerlaughed,andMaveringlaughedtoo。Hewasstruckbythehollownoteinhislaugh;itseemedtohimpathetic;hewonderedifheshouldnowalwayslaughso,andifpeoplewouldremarkit。Hetriedanotherlaugh;itsoundedmechanical。 Hewenttobed,andwassowornoutthathefellasleepandbegantodream。Afacecameupoutofthesea,andbroodedoverthewaters,asinthatpictureofVedder’swhichhecalls“Memory。”butthehairwasnotblond;itwasthecolourofthosephosphorescentflames,andtheeyeswerelikeit。“Horrible!horrible!“hetriedtoshriek,buthecried,“Alice,Iloveyou。”Therewasaburglarintheroom,andhewasrunningafterMissPasmer。Maveringcaughthim,andtriedtobeathim;hisfistsfelllikebollsofcotton;theburglardrewhisbreathinwithalong,washingsoundlikewater。 Maveringwokedeathlysick,andheardthesweepofthewaves。Theboatwaspitchingfrightfully。Hestruggledoutintothesaloon,andsawthatitwasfiveo’clock。InfivehoursmoreitwouldbeadaysincehetoldAlicethathelovedher;itnowseemedveryimprobable。Therewereagoodmanyhalf-dressedpeopleinthesaloon,andawomancamerunningoutofherstate-roomstraighttoMavering。Shewasinherstockingfeet,andherhairhungdownherback。 “Oh!arewegoingdown?”sheimploredhim。“Havewestruck?Oughtn’twetopray——somebody?ShallIwakethechildren?” “Maveringreassuredher,andtoldhertherewasnodanger。 “Well,then。”shesaid,“I’llgobackformyshoes。” “Yes,bettergetyourshoes。” Thesaloonroseroundhimandsank。Hecontrolledhissicknessbyplantingachairinthecentreandsittinginitwithhiseyesshut。Ashegrewmorecomfortablehereflectedhowhehadcalmedthatwoman,andheresolvedagaintospendhislifeindoinggood。“Yes,that’stheonlyticket。”hesaidtohimself,withinvoluntaryfrivolity。Hethoughtofwhattheofficerhadsaid,andhehelplesslyadded,“Circusticket—— reservedseat。”Thenhebeganagain,andloadedhimselfwithexecration。 TheboatgotintoPortlandatnineo’clock,andMaveringlefther,takinghishand-bagwithhim,andlettinghistrunkgoontoBoston。 Theofficerwhoreceivedhisticketatthegangplanknoticedthedestinationonit,andsaid,“Gotenough?” “Yes,foronewhile。”Maveringrecognisedhisacquaintanceofthenightbefore。 “Don’tlikepicnicsverymuch。” “No。”saidMavering,withabysmalgloom。“Theydon’tagreewithme。 Neverdid。”Hewasawareoftryingtomakehislaughbitter。Theofficerdidnotnotice。 Maveringwassurprised,afterthechillofthestormatsea,tofinditratherawarm,closemorninginPortland。Therestauranttowhichthehackmantookhimasthebestintownwasfullofflies;theybithimawakeoutofthedrearyreverieshefellintowhilewaitingforhisbreakfast。Inamirroroppositehesawhisface。Itdidnotlookhaggard;itlookedverymuchasitalwaysdid。Hefanciedplayingapartthroughlife——hidingabrokenheartunderasmile。“0youincorrigibleass!“hesaidtohimself,andwasafraidhehadsaidittotheyoungladywhobroughthimhisbreakfast,andlookedhaughtilyathimfromunderherbang。Shewasverythin,andworeablackjersey。 Hetriedtofindoutwhetherhehadspokenaloudbyaddressingherpleasantly。“It’sprettycoldthismorning。” “Whatsay?” “Prettycool。” “Ohyes。Butit’sprettyclo-ose。”shereplied,inherYankeecantillation。Shewentawayandlefthimtothebaconandeggshehadorderedatrandom。Therewasaflyunderoneoftheslicesofbacon,andMaveringconfinedhimselftothecoffee。 Amancameupinawhitecapandjacketfromabasementinthefrontoftherestaurant,whereconfectionerywassold,andthrewdownamassofmalleablecandyonamarbleslab,andbegantoworkit。Maveringwatchedhim,thinkingfuzzilyallthetimeofAlice,andholdinglong,fatiguingdialogueswiththepeopleattheTy’n-y-Coed,whoseseveralvoicesheheard。 Hesaidtohimselfthatitwasworsethanyesterday。Hewonderedifitwouldgoongettingworseeveryday。 HesawamanpassthedooroftherestaurantwholookedexactlylikeBoardmanasheglancedin。Theresemblancewasexplainedbytheman’scomingback,andprovingtobereallyBoardman。 XXII。 Maveringsprangathimwithademandforthereasonofhisbeingthere。 “IthoughtitwasyouasIpassed。”saidBoardman,“butIcouldn’tmakesure——sodarkbackhere。” “AndIthoughtitwasyou,butIcouldn’tbelieveit。”saidMavering,withequalforce,cuttingshortaninteriorconversationwithMr。Pasmer,whichhadbeguntoholditselfsincehisfirstglimpseofBoardman。 “Icamedownheretodoasortofone-horseyachtraceto-day。”Boardmanexplained。 “Goingtobeayachtrace?Betterhavesomebreakfast。Orbetternot—— here。Fliesunderyourbacon。” “Roughontheflies。”saidBoardman,snappingthebellwhichsummonedthespectreintheblackjersey,andhesatdown。“WhatareyoudoinginPortland?” Maveringtoldhim,andthenBoardmanaskedhimhowhehadleftthePasmers。Maveringneedednootherhinttospeak,andhespokefully,whileBoardmanlistenedwithanagreeablesilence,lettingtheheroofthetalebreakintoself-scornfulgroansanddolefullaughs,andeasehisheartwithgrotesque,inarticulatenoises,andmadelittleornocomments。 Bythetimehisbreakfastcame,Boardmanwasreadytosay,“Ididn’tsupposeitwassomuchofamash。” “Ididn’teither。”saidMavering,“whenIleftBoston。OfcourseIknewIwasgoingdowntheretoseeher,butwhenIgotthereitkeptgoingon,justlikeanythingelse,uptothelastmoment。Ididn’trealisetillitcametotheworstthatIhadbecomeamerepulp。” “Well,youwon’tstayso。”saidBoardman,makingthefirstvainattemptatconsolation。Heliftedthesteakhehadordered,andpeeredbeneathit。Allrightthistime,anyway。” “Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbystayingso。”repliedMavering,withgloomyrejectionofthecomfortoffered。 “You’llseethatit’sallforthebest;thatyou’rewelloutofit。Ifshecouldthrowyouover,afterleadingyouon——“ “Butshedidn’tleadmeon!“exclaimedMavering。“Don’tyouunderstandthatitwasallmymistakefromthefirst?IfIhadn’tbeenperfectlybesottedIshouldhaveseenthatshewasonlytoleratingme。Don’tyousee?Why,hangit,Boardman,Imusthavehadakindofconsciousnessofitundermythick-skinnedconceit,afterall,forwhenIcametothepoint——whenIdidcometothepoint——Ihadn’tthesandtosticktoitlikeaman,andItriedtogethertohelpme。Yes,IcanseethatIdidnow。Ikeptfoolingabout,andfoolingabout,anditwasbecauseIhadthatsortofprescience——ofwhateveryoucallit——thatIwasmistakenaboutitfromtheverybeginning。” HewishedtotellBoardmanabouttheeventsofthenightbefore;buthecouldnot。Hesaidtohimselfthathedidnotcareabouttheirbeinghardlytohiscredit;buthedidnotchoosetoletAliceseemtohaveresentedanythinginthem;itbelittledher,andclaimedtoomuchforhim。SoBoardmanhadtoproceeduponapartialknowledgeofthefacts。 “Idon’tsupposethatboomerangwayofyours,ifthat’swhatyoumean,wasofmuchuse。”hesaid。 “Use?Itruinedme!Butwhatareyougoingtodo?”HowareyougoingtopresupposethatagirllikeMissPasmerisinterestedinanidiotlikeyou?Imeanme,ofcourse。”Maveringbrokeoffwithadolorouslaugh。 “Andifyoucan’tpresupposeit,whatareyougoingtodowhenitcomestothepoint?You’vegottoshillyshally,andthenyou’vegottogoitblind。Itellyouit’saleapinthedark。” “Well,then,ifyou’vegotyourselftoblame——“ “HowamItoblame,Ishouldliketoknow?”retortedMavering,rejectingthefirstofferfromanotherofthecensurewhichhehadbeenheapinguponhimself:theirritationofhisnervesspoke。“Ididspeakoutatlast——whenitwastoolate。Well,letitallgo。”hegroanedaimlessly。 “Idon’tcare。Butsheisn’ttoblame。Idon’tthinkIcouldadmireanybodyverymuchwhoadmiredme。No,sir。Shedidjustright。Iwasafool,andshecouldn’thavetreatedmedifferently。” “Oh,Iguessit’llcomeoutallright。”saidBoardman,abandoninghimselftomereoptimism。 “Howcomeallright?”demandedMavering,flatteredbythehopeherefused。“It’scomerightnow。I’vegotmydeserts;that’sall。” “Ohno,youhaven’t。Whatharmhaveyoudone?It’sallrightforyoutothinksmallbeerofyourself,andIdon’tseehowyoucouldthinkanythingelsejustatpresent。Butyouwaitawhile。Whendidithappen?” Maveringtookouthiswatch。“Oneday,onehour,twentyminutes,andfifteensecondsago。” “Sureabouttheseconds?Isupposeyoudidn’thangroundagreatwhileafterward?” “Well,peopledon’t,generally。”saidMavering,withscorn。 “Nevertriedit。”saidBoardman,lookingcriticallyathisfriedpotatoesbeforeventuringuponthem。“Ifyouhadstayed,perhapsshemighthavechangedhermind。”headded,asifencouragedtothishopefulviewbytheresultofhisscrutiny。 “Wheredidyougetyourfraudulentreputationforcommon-sense,Boardman?”retortedMavering,whohadfollowedhisexaminationofthepotatoeswithinvoluntaryinterest。“Shewon’tchangehermind;sheisn’toneofthatkind。Butshe’stheonewomaninthisworldwhocouldhavemadeamanofme,Boardman。” “Isthatso?”askedBoardmanlightly。“Well,sheisagood-lookinggirl。” “She’sdivine!“ “WhatadressthatwasshehadonClassDay!“ “Ineverthinkwhatshehason。Shemakeseverythingperfect,andthenmakesyouforgetit。” “She’sgotstyle;there’snomistakeaboutthat。” “Style!“sighedMavering;butheattemptednoexemplification。 “She’sawfullygraceful。Whatawalkshe’sgot!“ “Oh,don’t,don’t,Boardman!Allthat’strue,andallthat’snothing—— nothingtohergoodness。She’ssogood,Boardman!Well,Igiveitup! She’sreligious。Youwouldn’tthinkthat,maybe;youcan’timagineaprettygirlreligious。Andshe’sallthemoreintoxicatingwhenshe’sserious;andwhenshe’sforgottenyourwholeworthlessexistenceshe’stenthousandtimesmorefascinatingthanandothergirlwhenshe’sgoingrightforyou。There’sakindoflookcomesintohereyes——kindofabsence,rapture,don’tyouknow——whenshe’sserious,thatbringsyourheartrightintoyourmouth。Shemakesyouthinkofsomeofthosepictures——Iwanttotellyouwhatshesaidtheotherdayatapicnicwhenwewereoffgettingblueberries,andyou’llunderstandthatsheisn’tlikeothergirls——thatshehasasoulfallof——of——youknowwhat,Boardman。Shehashighthoughtsabouteverything。Idon’tbelieveshe’severhadameanorignobleimpulse——shecouldn’thave。”Inthebusinessofimpartinghisideasconfidentially,MaveringhaddrawnhimselfacrossthetabletowardBoardman,withoutheedtowhatwasonit。 “Lookout!You’llbeintomysteakfirstthingyouknow。” “0h,confoundyoursteak?”criedMavering,pushingthedishaway。Whatdifferencedoesitmake?I’velosther,anyway。” “Idon’tbelieveyou’velosther。”saidBoardman。 “What’sthereasonyoudon’t?”retortedMavering,withcontempt。 “Because,ifshe’stheseriouskindofagirlyousaysheis,shewouldn’tletyoucomeupthereanddangleroundawholefortnightwithoutlettingyouknowshedidn’tlikeit,unlessshedidlikeit。Nowyoujustgoalittleintodetail。” Maveringwasquitewilling。HewentsomuchintodetailthatheleftnothingtoBoardman’simagination。HelostthesenseofitscalamitouscloseinrecountingthefactsofhisstoryatCampobello;hesmiledandblushedandlaughedintellingcertainthings;hedescribedMissAndersonandimitatedhervoice;hedrewheadsofsomeoftheladiesonthemarginofanewspaper,andthetearscameintohiseyeswhenherepeatedthecruelwordswhichAlicehadusedattheirlastmeeting。 “Oh,well,youmustbraceup。”saidBoardman。“I’vegottogonow。Shedidn’tmeanit,ofcourse。” “Meanwhat?” “Thatyouwereungentlemanly。Womendon’tknowhalfthetimehowhardthey’rehitting。” “Iguessshemeantthatshedidn’twantme,anyway。”saidMaveringgloomily。 “Ah,Idon’tknowaboutthat。You’dbetteraskherthenexttimeyouseeher。Good-bye。”Hehadrisen,andheofferedhishandtoMavering,whowasstillseated。 “Why,I’vehalfamindtogowithyou。” “Allright,comealong。ButIthoughtyoumightbegoingrightontoBoston。” “No;I’llwaitandgoonwithyou。How,doyougototherace?” “Inthepressboat。” “Anywomen?” “No;wedon’tsendthemonthissortofduty。” “Thatsettlesit。IhavegotallIwantofthatparticularsexforthetimebeing。”Maveringworeaverybitterairashesaidthis;itseemedtohimthathewouldalwaysbecynical;herose,andarrangedtoleavehisbagwiththerestaurateur,whoputitunderthecounter,andthenhewentoutwithhisfriend。 Thesunhadcomeout,andthefogwasburningaway;therewaslifeandliftintheair,whichtherejectedlovercouldnotrefusetofeel,andhesaid,lookinground,andupanddowntheanimatedstreet。“Iguessyou’regoingtohaveagooddayforit。” Thepavementwasprettywellfilledwithwomenwhohadbegunshopping。 Carriageswerestandingbesidethepavement;aladycrossedthepavementfromashopdoortowardacoupejustinfrontofthem,withherhandfulloflightpackages;shedroppedoneofthem,andMaveringsprangforwardinstinctivelyandpickeditupforher。 “Oh,thankyou!“shesaid,withthedeepgratitudewhichsocietycultivatesforthesmallestservices。Thensheliftedherdroopedeyelashes,and,withaflashofsurprise,exclaimed,“Mr。Mavering!“anddroppedallherpackagesthatshemightshakehandswithhim。 Boardmansaunteredslowlyon,butsawwithabackwardglanceMaveringcarryingthelady’spackagestothecoupeforher;sawhimlifthishatthere,andshakehandswithsomebodyinthecoupe,andthenstandtalkingbesideit。HewaitedatthecorneroftheblockforMaveringtocomeup,affectinganinterestintheneck-wearofafurnisher’swindow。 InaboutfiveminutesMaveringjoinedhim。 “Lookhere,Boardman!Thoseladieshavesnaggedontome。” “Aretheretwoofthem?” “Yes,oneinside。Andtheywantmetogowiththentoseetherace。 Theirfather’sgotalittlesteam-yacht。Theywantyoutogotoo。” Boardmanshookhishead。 “Well,that’swhatItoldthem——toldthemthatyouhadtogoonthepressboat。Theysaidtheywishedtheyweregoingonthepressboattoo。ButIdon’tseehowIcanrefuse。They’reladiesthatImetClassDay,andI oughttohaveshownthemalittlemoreattentionthen;butIgotsotakenupwith——“ “Isee。”saidBoardman,showinghisteeth,fineandevenasgrainsofpop-corn,inaslightsarcasticsmile。“Sortofpoeticaljustice。”hesuggested。 “Well,itis——sortof。”saidMavering,withashamefacedconsciousness。 “Whattrainareyougoingbackon?” “Seveno’clock。” “I’llbethere。” Hehurriedbacktorejointheladies,andBoardmansawhim,aftersomeparleyandlaughter,getintothecoupe,fromwhichheinferredthattheyhadturneddownthelittleseatinfront,andmadehimtakeit;andheinferredthattheymustbeveryjolly,sociablegirls。 HedidnotseeMaveringagaintillthetrainwasonitsway,whenhecamein,lookingdistraughtlyaboutforhisfriend。Hewasagainverymelancholy,andsaiddejectedlythattheyhadmadehimstaytodinner,andhadthendrivenhimdowntothestation,bagandall。“Theoldgentlemancametoo。IwasinhopesI’dfindyouhangingroundsomewhere,sothatIcouldintroduceyou。They’reawfullynice。NoneofthatinfernalBostonstiffness。Theoneyousawmetalkingwithismarried,though。” Boardmanwaswritingouthisreportfromalittlebookwithshorthandnotesinit。Therewerehalfadozenotherreportersinthecarbusywiththeirwork。Amanwhoseemedtobeinauthoritysaidtooneofthem,“Trytothrowinalittlehumour。” Maveringpulledhishatoverhiseyes,andleanedhisheadonthebackofhisseat,andtriedtosleep。 XXIII。 Athisfather’sagencyinBostonhefound,thenextmorning,aletterfromhimsayingthatheexpectedtobedownthatday,andaskingDantomeethimattheParkerHousefordinner。TheletterintimatedtheelderMavering’sexpectationthathissonhadreachedsomeconclusioninthemattertheyhadtalkedofbeforeheleftforCampobello。 ItgaveDanashiverofself-disgustandasickfeelingofhopelessness。 Hewasquitewillingnowtodowhateverhisfatherwished,buthedidnotseehawhecouldfacehimandownhisdefeat。 Whentheymet,hisfatherdidnotseemtonoticehisdespondency,andheaskedhimnothingaboutthePasmers,ofcourse。ThatwouldnothavebeentheAmericanway。NothinghadbeensaidbetweenthefatherandsonastothespecialadvantagesofCampobelloforthedecisionofthequestionpendingwhentheysaweachotherlast;butthesonknewthatthefatherguessedwhyhechosethatislandforthepurpose;andnowtheelderknewthatiftheyoungerhadanythingtotellhimhewouldtellit,andifhehadnothewouldkeepit。Itwastacitlyunderstoodthattherewasnoobjectiononthefather’sparttoMissPasmer;infact,therehadbeenaglimmerofhumorousintelligenceinhiseyewhenthesonsaidhethoughtheshouldrundowntoBarHarbour,andperhapstoCampobello,buthehadsaidnothingtobetrayhisconsciousness。 Theymetinthereading-roomatParker’s,andDansaid,“Hello,father。” andhisfatheranswered,“Well,Dan;“andtheyshylytouchedthehandsdroppedattheirsidesastheypressedtogetherinthecrowd。Thefathergavehisboyakeenglance,andthentooktheleadintothedining-room,wherehechoseacornertable,andtheydisposedoftheirhatsonthewindow-seat。 “Allwellathome?”askedtheyoungfellow,ashetookupthebilloffaretoorderthedinner。Hisfatherhatedthat,andalwaysmadehimdoit。 “Yes,yes;asusual,Ibelieve。Minnieisoffforaweekatthemountains;Euniceisathome。” “Oh!Howwouldyoulikesomegreengoose,withapple-sauce,sweet- potatoes,andsuccotash?” “Itseemstomethatwasprettygood,thelasttime。Allright,ifyoulikeit。” “Idon’tknowthatIcareforanythingmuch。I’malittleoffmyfeed。 Nosoup。”hesaid,lookingupatthewaiterbendingoverhim;andthenhegavetheorder。“IthinkyoumaybringmehalfadozenBluePoints,ifthey’regood。”hecalledafterhim。 “Didn’tBarHarbouragreewithyou——orCampobello?”askedMr。Mavering,takingtheopeningofferedhim。 “No,notverywell。”saidDan;andhesaidnomoreaboutit,leavinghisfathertomakehisowninferencesastothekindordegreeofthedisagreement。 “Well,haveyoumadeupyourmind?”askedthefather,restinghiselbowsoneithersideofhisplate,andputtinghishandstogethersoftly,whilehelookedacrossthemwithacheerykindnessathisboy。 “Yes,Ihave。”saidDanslowly。 “Well?” “Idon’tbelieveIcaretogointothelaw。” “Sure?” “Yes。” “Well,that’sallright,then。Iwishedyoutochoosefreely,andI supposeyou’vedoneso。” “OhYes。” “Ithinkyou’vechosenwisely,andI’mveryglad。It’saweightoffmymind。Ithinkyou’llbehappierinthebusinessthanyouwouldinthelaw;Ithinkyou’llenjoyit。Youneedn’tlookforwardtoagreatdealofPonkwassetFalls,unlessyoulike。” “Ishouldn’tmindgoingthere。”saidDanlistlessly。 “Itwon’tbenecessary——atfirst。Infact,itwon’tbedesirable。I wantyoutolookupthebusinessatthisendalittle。” Dangaveastart。“InBoston?” “Yes。Itisn’tintheshapeIwanttohaveit。Iproposetoopenaplaceofourown,andtoputyouincharge。”Somethingintheyoungman’sfaceexpressedreluctance,andhisfatheraskedkindly,“Wouldthatbedistastefultoyou?” “Ohno。Itisn’tthethingIobjectto,butIdon’tknowthatIcaretobeinBoston。”Heliftedhisfaceandlookedhisfatherfullintheeyes,butwithagazethatrefusedtoconveyanythingdefinite。Thenthefatherknewthattheboy’sloveaffairhadgoneseriouslywrong。 Thewaitercamewiththedinner,andmadeaninterruptioninwhichtheycouldbenaturallysilent。Whenhehadputthedinnerbeforethem,andcumberedthemwithsuperfluousservice,afterthefashionofhiskind,hewithdrewalittleway,andleftthemtoresumetheirtalk。 “Well。”saidtheelderlightly,asifDan’snotcaringtobeinBostonhadnoparticularsignificanceforhim,“Idon’tknowthatIcaretohaveyousettledowntoitimmediately。IratherthinkI’dliketohaveyoulookaboutfirstalittle。GotoNewYork,gotoPhiladelphia,andseetheirprocessesthere。Wecan’taffordtogetold-fashionedinourways。 I’vealwaysbeenmoreinterestedbytheaestheticsideofthebusiness,butyououghttohaveatasteforthemechanism,fromyourgrandfather; yourmotherhasit。” “Ohyes,sir。Ithinkallthat’sveryinteresting。”saidDan。 “Well,gotoFrance,andseehowthosefellowsdoit。GotoLondon,andlookupWilliamMorris。” “Yes,thatwouldbeverynice。”admittedtheyoungfellow,beginningtocatchon。“ButIdidn’tsuppose——Ididn’texpecttobeginlifewithapicnic。”Heentereduponhissentencewithajocularbuoyancy,butatthelastword,whichhefatallydriftedupon,hisvoicefell。Hesaidtohimselfthathewasgreatlychanged;that,heshouldneverbegayandbrightagain;therewouldalwaysbethisundercurrentofsadness;hehadnoticedtheundercurrentyesterdaywhenhewaslaughingandjokingwiththosegirlsatPortland。 “Oh,Idon’twantyoutobuckledownatonce。”saidhisfather,smiling。 “Ifyou’ddecideduponthelaw,Ishouldhavefeltthatyou’dbetternotlosetime。Butasyou’regoingintothebusiness,Idon’tmindyourtakingayearoff。Itwon’tbelosttimeifyoukeepyoureyesopen。I thinkyou’dbettergodownintoItalyandSpain。Lookuptheoldtapestriesandstampedleathers。Youmaygetsomeideas。Howwouldyoulikeit?” “First-rate。Ishouldlikeit。”saidDan,risingonthewaftofhisfather’ssuggestion,butgloomilylapsingagain。Still,itwaspleasingtopicturehimselfgoingaboutthroughEuropewithabrokenheart,andhedidnotdenyhimselftheconsolationofthevision。 “Well,there’snobodytodislikeit。”saidhisfathercheerily。HewassurenowthatDanhadbeenjilted;otherwisehewouldhaveputforthsomeobjectiontoaschemewhichmustinterrupthislovemaking。“There’snoreasonwhy,withourresources,weshouldn’ttaketheleadinthisbusiness。” Hewentontospeakmorefullyofhisplans,andDanlistenedwithanetherreferenceofitalltoAlice,butstillwithasurfaceintelligenceonwhichnothingwaslost。 “Areyougoinghomewithmeto-morrow?”askedhisfatherastheyrosefromthetable。 “Well,perhapsnotto-morrow。I’vegotsomeofmythingstoputtogetherinCambridgeyet,andperhapsI’dbetterlookafterthem。ButI’veanotionI’dbetterspendthewinterathome,andgetanideaofthemanufacturebeforeIgoabroad。ImightsailinJanuary;theysayit’sagoodmonth。” “Yes,there’ssenseinthat。”saidhisfather。 “AndperhapsIwon’tbreakupinCambridgetillI’vebeentoNewYorkandPhiladelphia。Whatdoyouthink?It’seasierstrikingthemfromhere。” “Idon’tknowbutyou’reright。”saidhisfathereasily。 Theyhadcomeoutofthedining-room,andDanstoppedtogetsomecigarettesintheoffice。Helookedmechanicallyatthetheatrebillsoverthecigarcase。“IseeIrving’satthe’Boston。’“ “Oh,youdon’tsay!“saidhisfather。“Let’sgoandseehim。” “Ifyouwishit,sir。”saidDan,withpensiveacquiescence。AlltheMaveringswerefondofthetheatre,andmadeanymoodtheoccasionorthepretextofgoingtotheplay。Iftheyweresad,theywent;iftheyweregay,theywent。AslongasDan’smothercouldgetout-of-doorssheusedtohaveherselfcarriedtoaboxinthetheatrewhenevershewasintown; nowthatshenolongerleftherroom,shehadadominantpassionforhearingaboutactorsandacting;itwasalmostaworkofpietyinherhusbandandchildrentoseethemandreporttoher。