EuniceMaveringacknowledgedAlice’sfirstletter。Shesaidthathermotherreaditaloudtothemall,andhadbeendelightedwiththegoodaccountshegaveofDan,andfascinatedwithallthestoryoftheirdailydoingsandsayings。ShewishedEunicetotellAlicehowfullysheappreciatedherthoughtfulnessofasickoldwoman,andthatshewasgoingtowriteherselfandthankher。ButEuniceaddedthatAlicemustnotbesurprisedifhermotherwasnotverypromptinthis,andshesentmessagesfromallthefamily,affectionateforAlice,andpoliteforherfatherandmother。
AliceshowedDantheletter,andheseemedtofindnothingnoticeableinit。“Shesaysyourmotherwillwritelater。”Alicesuggested。
“Yes。Yououghttofeelverymuchcomplimentedbythat。Mother’sautographsareprettyuncommon。”hesaid,smiling。
“Why,doesn’tshewrite?Can’tshe?Doesittireher?”askedAlice。
“Ohyes,shecanwrite,butshehatesto。ShegetsEuniceorMinnietowriteusually。”
“Dan。”criedAliceintensely,“whydidn’tyoutellme?”
“Why,Ithoughtyouknewit。”heexplainedeasily。“Shelikestoread,andlikestotalk,butitboreshertowrite。Idon’tsupposeIgetmorethantwoorthreepencilscratchesfromherinthecourseofayear。Shemakesthegirlswrite。Butyouneedn’tmindhernotwriting。Youmaybesureshe’sgladofyourletters。”
“Itmakesmeseemverypresumptuoustobewritingtoherwhenthere’snochanceofheranswering。”Alicegrieved。“It’sasifIhadpassedoveryoursisters’heads。Ioughttohavewrittentothem。”
“Oh,well,youcandothatnow。”saidDansoothingly。
“No。No,Ican’tdoitnow。Itwouldberidiculous。”Shewassilent,andpresentlysheasked,“IsthereanythingelseaboutyourmotherthatI
oughttoknow?”Shelookedathimwithasortofimpendingdisciplineinhereyeswhichhehadlearnedtodread;itmeantsuchalongcourseofthings,suchaverygreatvarietyofatonementandexpiationforhim,thathecouldnotbringhimselftoconfrontitsteadily。
Hisheartgaveafeebleleap;hewouldhavegladlytoldherallthatwasinit,andhemeanttodosoattherighttime,butthisdidnotseemthemoment。“Ican’tsaythatthereis。”heansweredcoldly。
InthatneedofconsecratingherhappinesswhichAlicefelt,shewentagreatdealtochurchinthosedays。Sometimesshefelttheneedalmostofdefenceagainstherhappiness,andavagueapprehensionmixedwithit。
Coulditberighttoletitclaimherwholebeing,asitseemedtodo?
ThanwasthequestionwhichsheonceaskedDan,anditmadehimlaugh,andcatchhertohiminarapturethatservedforthetime,andthenlefthertomoremorbiddoubts。Evidentlyhecouldnotfollowherinthem;hecouldnotevenimaginethem;andwhilehewaswithhertheyseemedtohavenoverityorvalue。ButshetalkedthemoververyhypotheticallyandimpersonallywithMissCotton,inwhosesympathytheyresumedalltheirimport,andgainedsomethingmore。Intheidealisationwhichthegirlunderwentinthisatmosphereallherthoughtsandpurposeshadasignificancewhichshewouldnotofherself,perhaps,haveattachedtothem。Theydiscussedthemandanalysedthemwithasatisfactionintheresultwhichcouldnotberepresentedwithoutaneffectofcaricature。
TheymeasuredAlice’sromancetogether,andevolvedfromitasublimationofresponsibility,ofduty,ofdevotion,whichAlicefounditimpossibletosubmittoDanwhenhecamewithhissimple-hearted,single-mindedpurposeofgettingMrs。Pasmeroutoftheroom,andsittingdownwithhisarmaroundAlice’swaist。Whenhehadaccomplishedthisitseemedsufficientinitself,andshehadtothink,tostruggletorecallthingsbeyondit,aboveit。Hecouldnotbemadetoseeatsuchtimeshowtheirlivescouldbemoreinunisonthantheywere。Whensheproposeddoingsomethingforhimwhichheknewwasdisagreeabletoher,hewouldnotlether;andwhenshehintedatanythingshewishedhimtodoforherbecausesheknewitwasdisagreeabletohim,heconsentedsopromptly,sojoyously,thatsheperceivedhecouldnothavegiventheleastthoughttoit。
Shefelteverydaythattheywerealienintheirtastesandaims;theirpleasureswerenotthesame,andthoughitwassweet,thoughitwascharming,tohavehimgiveupsowillinglyallhispreferences,shefelt,withoutknowingthatthetimemustcomewhenthiscouldnotbeso,thatitwasallwrong。
“Buttheseverydifferences,theseantagonisms,ifyouwishtocallthemso。”suggestedMissCotton,intalkingAlice’smisgivingsoverwithher,“aren’ttheyjustwhatwilldrawyoutogethermoreandmore?Isn’titwhatattractedyoutoeachother?Theveryfactthatyouaresuchperfectcounterparts——“
“Yes。”thegirlassented,“that’swhatwe’retaughttobelieve。”Shemeantbythenovels,towhichwealltrustourinstructioninsuchmatters,andherdoubtdoublyrankledaftershehadputittosilence。
ShekeptonwritingtoDan’smother,thoughmoreandmoreperfunctorily;
andnowEuniceandnowMinnieMaveringacknowledgedherletters。Sheknewthattheymustthinkshewassilly,buthavingenteredbyDan’sconnivanceuponherfolly,shewastooproudtoabandonit。
Atlast,aftershehadceasedtoexpectit,camealetterfromhismother,notabriefnote,butaletterwhichtheinvalidhadevidentlytaskedherselftomakelongandfull,inrecognitionofAlice’skindnessinwritingtohersomuch。Thegirlopenedit,and,afteraverifyingglanceatthesignature,begantoreaditwithathrilloftendertriumph,andthefondprevisionofthegreaterpleasureofreadingitagainwithDan。
Butafterreadingitoncethrough,shedidnotwaitforhimbeforereadingitagainandagain。Shedidthiswithbewilderment,intershotwithflashesofconviction,andthendoubtsofthisconviction。Whenshecouldmisunderstandnolonger,sherosequietlyandfoldedtheletter,andputitcarefullybackintoitsenvelopeandintoherwritingdesk,whereshesatdownandwrote,inherclearestandfirmesthand,thisnotetoMavering——
“Iwishtoseeyouimmediately。
“ALICEPASMER。”
XLIII
Danhadlearned,withalover’skeenness,toreadAlice’smoodsinthemostcolourlesswordingofhernotes。Shewasratherapttowritehimnotes,takingbackorreaffirmingtheeffectofsomethingthathadjustpassedbetweenthem。Hernoteweretemperedtovaryingdegreesofheatandcold,sofinethatnooneelsewouldhavefeltthedifference,butsensibletohimintheirsubtlestintention。
Perhapsamerewitnessofthefactwouldhavebeenalarmedbyanotewhichbeganwithoutanaddress,exceptthatontheenvelope,andendeditsperemptorybrevitywiththewriter’snamesignedinfull。Danreadcalamityinit,andhehadallthemoretroubletopullhimselftogethertomeetitbecausehehadpartedwithunusualtendernessfromAlicethenightbefore,afteraneveninginwhichitseemedtohimthattheiridealshadbeencompletelyreconciled。
Thenotecame,ashernoteswereapttocome,whileDanwasatbreakfast,whichhewasratherluxuriousaboutforsoyoungaman,andhefeltformlesslygladafterwardthathehaddrunkhisfirstcupofcoffeebeforeheopenedit,foritchilledthesecondcup,andseemedtotakeallcharacteroutoftheomelet。
Heobeyedit,wonderingwhatthedoommenacedinitmightbe,butknowingthatitwasdoom,andleavinghisbreakfasthalf-finished,withadullsenseofthetragedyofdoingso。
HewouldhavelikedtoaskforMrs。Pasmerfirst,andinterposeamomentofhercheerfulunrealitybetweenhimselfandhisinterviewwithAlice,buthedecidedthathehadbetternotdothis,andtheymetatonce,withthewidthoftheroombetweenthem。Herlookwasonethatmadeitimpassabletothesimpleimpulseheusuallyhadtotakeherinhisarmsandkissher。Butasshestoodholdingoutalettertohim,withtheapparentintentionthatheshouldcomeandtakeit,hetraversedtheinterveningspaceandtookit。
“Why,it’sfrommother!“hesaidjoyously,withaglanceatthehandwriting。
“Willyoupleaseexplainit?”saidAlice,andDanbegantoreadit。
Itbeganwithagoodmanyexcusesfornothavingwrittenbefore,andwentonwithaprettyexpressionofinterestinAlice’slettersandgratitudeforthem;Mrs。Maveringassuredthegirlthatshecouldnotimaginewhatapleasuretheyhadbeentoher。Shepromisedherselfthattheyshouldbegreatfriends,andshesaidthatshelookedforwardeagerlytothetime,nowdrawingnear,whenDanshouldbringherhometothem。ShesaidsheknewAlicewouldfinditdullattheFallsexceptforhim,buttheywouldalldotheirbest,andshewouldfindtheplaceverydifferentfromwhatshehadseenitinthewinter。Alicecouldmakebelievethatshewastherejustforthesummer,andMrs。Maveringhopedthatbeforethesummerwasgoneshewouldbesosorryforasickoldwomanthatshewouldnotevenwishtogowithit。Thispartoftheletter,whichgaveDanawaysohopelessly,ashefelt,wasphrasedsotouchingly,thathelookedupfromitwithmoisteyestothehardcoldjudgmentintheeyesofAlice。
“Willyoupleaseexplainit?”sherepeated。
Hetriedtotemporise。“Explainwhat?”
Alicewasprompttosay,“Hadyoupromisedyourmothertotakemehometolive?”
Dandidnotanswer。
“Youpromisedmymothertogoabroad。Whatelsehaveyoupromised?”Hecontinuedsilent,andsheadded,“Youareafaithlessman。”TheywerethewordsofRomola,intheromance,toTito;shehadoftenadmiredthem;andtheyseemedtoherequallythemeasureofDan’soffence。
“Alice——“
“Hereareyourlettersandremembrances,Mr。Mavering。”Danmechanicallyreceivedthepacketshehadbeenholdingbehindher;withaperversefreakofintelligenceheobservedthat,thoughmuchlargernow,itwastiedupwiththesameribbonwhichhadfasteneditwhenAlicereturnedhislettersandgiftsbefore。“Good-bye。Iwishyoueveryhappinessconsistentwithyournature。”
Shebowedcoldly,andwasabouttoleavehim,asshehadplanned;butshehadnotarrangedthatheshouldbestandinginfrontofthedoor,andhewasthere,withnoapparentintentionofmoving。
“Willyouallowmetopass?”shewasforcedtoask,however,haughtily。
“No!“heretorted,withaviolencethatsurprisedhim。“Iwillnotletyoupasstillyouhavelistenedtome——tillyoutellmewhyyoutreatmeso。Iwon’tstandit——I’vehadenoughofthiskindofthing。”
ItsurprisedAlicetooalittle,andafteramoment’shesitationshesaid,“Iwilllistentoyou。”somuchmoregentlythanshehadspokenbeforethatDanrelaxedhisimperativetone,andbegantolaugh。“But。”sheadded,andherfacecloudedagain,“itwillbeofnouse。Mymindismadeupthistime。Whyshouldwetalk?”
Why,becausemineisn’t。”saidDan。“Whatisthematter,Alice?DoyouthinkIwouldforceyou,orevenaskyou,togohomewithmetoliveunlessyouwereentirelywilling?Itcouldonlybeatemporaryarrangementanyway。”
“Thatisn’tthequestion。”sheretorted。“Thequestioniswhetheryou’vepromisedyourmotheronethingandmeanother。”
“Well,Idon’tknowaboutpromising。”saidDan,laughingalittlemoreuneasily,butstilllaughing。“AsnearlyasIcanremember,Iwasn’tconsultedaboutthematter。Yourmotherproposedonething,andmymotherproposedanother。”
“Andyouagreedtoboth。Thatisquiteenough——quitecharacteristic!“
Danflushed,andstoppedlaughing。“Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbycharacteristic。Thethingdidn’thavetobedecidedatonce,andIdidn’tsupposeitwouldbedifficultforeithersidetogiveway,ifitwasjudgedbest。Iwassuremymotherwouldn’tinsist。”
“Itseemsveryeasyforyourfamilytomakesacrificesthatarenotlikelytoberequiredofthem。”
“Youmustn’tcriticisemymother!“criedDan。
“Ihavenotcriticisedher。Youinsinuatethatwewouldbetooselfishtogiveup,ifitwereforthebest。”
“Idonothingofthekind,andunlessyouaredeterminedtoquarrelwithmeyouwouldn’tsayso。”
“Idon’twishaquarrel;noneisnecessary。”saidAlicecoldly。
“Youaccusemeofbeingtreacherous——“
“Ididn’tsaytreacherous!“
“Faithless,then。It’samerequibbleaboutwords。Iwantyoutotakethatback。”
“Ican’ttakeitback;it’sthetruth。Aren’tyoufaithless,ifyouletusgoonthinkingthatyou’regoingtoEurope,andletyourmotherthinkthatwe’recominghometoliveafterwe’remarried?”
“No!I’msimplyleavingthequestionopen!“
“Yes。”saidthegirl——sadly,“youliketoleavequestionsopen。That’syourway。”
“Well,IsupposeIdotillit’snecessarytodecidethem。Itsavestheneedlesseffusionoftalk。”saidDan,withalaugh;andthen,aspeopledoinaquarrel,hewentbacktohisangrymood,andsaid“Besides,I
supposedyouwouldbegladofthechancetomakesomesacrificeforme。
You’realwaysaskingforit。”
“Thankyou,Mr。Mavering。”saidAlice,“forremindingmeofit;nothingissacredtoyou,itseems。Ican’tsaythatyouhaveeversoughtanyopportunitiesofself-sacrifice。”
“Iwasn’tallowedtimetodoso;theywerealwayspresented。”
“Thankyouagain,Mr。Mavering。Allthisisquitearevelation。I’mgladtoknowhowyoureallyfeltaboutthingsthatyouseemedsoeagerfor。”
“Alice,youknowthatIwoulddoanythingforyou!“criedDan,rueinghisprecipitatewords。
“Yes;that’swhatyou’verepeatedlytoldme。Iusedtobelieveit。”
“AndIalwaysbelievedwhatyousaid。YousaidatthepicnicthatdaythatyouthoughtIwouldliketoliveatPonkwassetFallsifmybusinesswasthere——“
“Thatisnotthepoint!“
“Andnowyouquarrelwithmebecausemymotherwishesmetodoso。”
Alicemerelysaid:“Idon’tknowwhyIstandhereallowingyoutointimidatemeinmyfather’shouse。Idemandthatyoushallstandasideandletmepass。”
“I’llnotobligeyoutoleavetheroom。”saidDan。“Iwillgo。ButifI
go,youwillunderstandthatIdon’tcomeback。”
“Ihopethat。”saidthegirl。
“Verywell。Goodmorning,MissPasmer。”
Sheinclinedherheadslightlyinacknowledgmentofhisbow,andhewhirledoutoftheroomanddownthedimnarrowpassagewayintothearmsofMrs。Pasmer,whohadresistedaslongasshecouldhercuriositytoknowwhattheangryvoicesofhimselfandAlicemeant。
“0Mr。Mavering,isityou?”shebuzzed;andsheflungasideonepretenceforanotherinadding,“Couldn’tAlicemakeyoustaytobreakfast?”
Danfeltarushoftendernessinhisheartatthesoundofthekind,humbugginglittlevoice。“No,thankyou,Mrs。Pasmer,Icouldn’tstay,thankyou。I——Ithankyouverymuch。I——good-bye,Mrs。Pasmer。”Hewrungherhand,andfoundhiswayoutoftheapartmentdoor,leavinghertoclearupthemysteryofhisflightandhisbrokenwordsasshecould。
“Alice。”shesaid,assheenteredtheroom,wherethegirlhadremained,“whathaveyoubeendoingnow?”
“Oh,nothing。”shesaid,witharemnantofherscornforDanqualifyinghertoneandmannertohermother。“I’vedismissedMr。Mavering。”
“Thenyouwanthimtocometolunch?”askedhermother。“Ishouldadvisehimtorefuse。”
“Idon’tthinkhe’daccept。”saidAlice。Then,asMrs。Pasmerstoodinthedoor,preventingheregress,asDanhaddonebefore,sheaskedmeekly“Willyouletmepass,mamma?Myheadaches。”
Mrs。Pasmer,whoseeasytriumphsinsomanydifficultcircumstanceskepthernearlyalwaysingoodtemper,letherselfgo,atthesewords,invexationveryuncommonwithher。“IndeedIshallnot!“sheretorted。
“AndyouwillpleasesitdownhereandtellmewhatyoumeanbydismissingMr。Mavering。I’mtiredofyourwhimsandcaprices。”
“Ican’ttalk。”beganthegirlstubbornly。
“Yes,Ithinkyoucan。”saidhermother。“Atanyrate,Ican。Nowwhatisitall?”
“Perhapsthisletter,willexplain。”saidAlice,continuingtodignifyherenforcedsubmissionwithatoneofunabatedhauteur;andshegavehermotherMrs。Mavering’sletter,whichDanhadmechanicallyrestoredtoher。
Mrs。Pasmerreadit,notonlywithoutindignation,butapparentlywithoutdispleasure。But,sheunderstoodperfectlywhatthetroublewas,whenshelookedupandasked,cheerfully,“Well?”
“Well!“repeatedAlice,withafrownofastonishment。“Don’tyouseethathe’spromisedusonethingandheranother,andthathe’sfalsetoboth?”
“Idon’tknow。”saidMrs。Pasmer,recoveringhergood-humourinviewofasituationthatshefeltherselfabletocopewith。“Ofcoursehehastotemporise,tomanagealittle。She’saninvalid,andofcourseshe’sveryexacting。Hehastohumourher。Howdoyouknowhehaspromisedher?Hehasn’tpromisedus。”
“Hasn’tpromisedus?”Alicegasped。
“No。He’ssimplyfalleninwithwhatwe’vesaid。It’sbecausehe’ssosweetandyielding,andcan’tbeartorefuse。Icanunderstanditperfectly。”
“Thenifhehasn’tpromisedus,he’sdeceivedusallthemoreshamefully,forhe’smadeusthinkhehad。”
“Hehasn’tme。”saidMrs。Pasmer,smilingatthestormyvirtueinherdaughter’sface。“Andwhatifyoushouldgohomeawhilewithhim——forthesummer,say?Itcouldn’tlastlonger,much;anditwouldn’thurtustowait。Isupposehehopedforsomethingofthatkind。”
“Oh,itisn’tthat。”groanedthegirl,inakindofbewilderment。“I
couldhavegonetherewithhimjoyfully,andlivedallmydays,ifhe’donlybeenfrankwithme。”
“Ohno,youcouldn’t。”saidhermother,withcosysecurity。“Whenitcomestoit,youdon’tlikegivingupanymorethanotherpeople。It’sveryhardforyoutogiveup;heseesthat——heknowsit,andhedoesn’treallyliketoaskanysortofsacrificefromyou。He’safraidofyou。”
“Don’tIknowthat?”demandedAlicedesolately:“I’veknownitfromthefirst,andI’vefeltitallthetime。It’sallamistake,andhasbeen。
Wenevercouldunderstandeachother。We’retoodifferent。”
“Thatneedn’tpreventyouunderstandinghim。Itneedn’tpreventyoufromseeinghowreallykindandgoodheis——howfaithfulandconstantheis。”
“Oh,yousaythat——youpraisehim——becauseyoulikehim。”
“OfcourseIdo。Andcan’tyou?”
“No。Theleastgrainofdeceit——oftemporising,youcallit——spoilseverything。It’sover。”saidthegirl,rising,withasigh,fromthechairshehaddroppedinto。“We’rebestapart;wecouldonlyhavebeenwretchedandwickedtogether。”
“Whatdidyousaytohim,Alice?”askedhermother,unshakenbyherrhetoric。
“Itoldhimhewasafaithlessperson。”
“Thenyouwereacruelgirl。”criedMrs。Pasmer,withsuddenindignation;
“andifyouwerenotmydaughterIcouldbegladhehadescapedyou。I
don’tknowwhereyougotallthosesilly,romanticnotionsofyoursaboutthesethings。Youcertainlydidn’tgetthemfromme。”shecontinued,withundeniabletruth,“andIdon’tbelieveyougetthemfromyourChurch,It’sjustasMissAndersonsaid:yourChurchmakesallowanceforhumannature,butyoumakenone。”
“Ishouldn’tgotoJuliaAndersonforinstructioninsuchmatters。”saidthegirl,withcoldresentment。
“Iwishyouwouldgotoherforalittlecommonsense——orsomebody。”saidMrs。Pasmer。“Doyouknowwhattalkthiswillmake?”
“Idon’tcareforthetalk。ItwouldbeworsethantalktomarryamanwhomIcouldn’ttrust——whowantedtopleasemesomuchthathehadtodeceiveme,andwastoomuchafraidofmetotellmethetruth。”
“Youheadstronggirl!“saidhermotherimpartially,admiringatthesametimethegirl’shaughtybeauty。
TherewasanargumentinreserveinMrs。Pasmer’smindwhichperhapsnonebutanAmericanmotherwouldhavehesitatedtourge;butitissowhollyourtraditiontotreattheimportantbusinessofmarriageasaromanticepisodethatevenshecouldnotbringherselftoinsistthatherdaughtershouldnotthrowawayachancesoadvantageousfromeveryworldlypointofview。Shecouldonlyask,“Ifyoubreakthisengagement,whatdoyouexpecttodo?”
“Theengagementisbroken。Ishallgointoasisterhood。”
“Youwilldonothingofthekind,withmyconsent。”saidMrs。Pasmer。
“Iwillhavenosuchnonsense。Don’tflatteryourselfthatIwill。EvenifIapprovedofsuchathing,Ishouldthinkitwickedtoletyoudoit。
You’realwaysfancyingyourselfdoingsomethingverydevoted,butI’veneverseenyoureadytogiveupyourownwill,oryourowncomforteven,intheslightestdegree。AndDanMavering,ifheweretwiceastemporisingandcircuitous“——thewordcametoherfromhertalkwithhim——
“wouldbetwicetoogoodforyou。I’mgoingtobreakfast。”
XLIV。
Thedifficultyinlifeistobringexperiencetothelevelofexpectation,tomatchourrealemotionsinviewofanygreatoccasionwiththeidealemotionswhichwehavetaughtourselvesthatweoughttofeel。Thisisallthetruerwhentheoccasionistragical:wesurpriseourselvesinahelplessnesstowhichthegreatevent,death,ruin,lostlove,revealsitselfslowly,andatfirstwearstheaspectofanunbrokencontinuanceofwhathasbeen,oratmostofanotherincidentinthehabitualsequence。
DanMaveringcameoutintothebrightwintermorningknowingthathisengagementwasbroken,butfeelingitsolittlethathecouldnotbelieveit。Hefailedtorealiseit,toseizeitforafact,andhecouldnotletitremainthatdumbandformlesswretchedness,withoutproportionordimensions,whichitnowseemedtobe,weighinghislifedown。Toverifyit,tobegintooutliveit,hemustinstantlyimpartit,hemusttellit,hemustseeitwithothers’eyes。Thiswasthenecessityofhisyouthandofhissympathy,whichincludedhimselfaswellastherestoftheraceinitsactivity。Hehadtheusualenvironmentofayoungmanwhohasmoney。
Hebelongedtoclubs,andhehadalargeacquaintanceamongmenofhisownage,wholivedalifeofgreaterleisure;orweremoreabsorbedinbusiness,butwhomhemetconstantlyinsociety。Foronereasonoranother,orfornootherreasonthanthathewasDanMaveringandlikedeveryone,helikedthemall。Hethoughthimselfgreatfriendswiththem;
hedinedandlunchedwiththem;andtheyknewthePasmers,andallabouthisengagement。Buthedidnotgotoanyofthemnow,withtheneedhefelttoimparthiscalamity,togetthesupportofcomeother’scredenceandopinionofit。Hewenttoafriendwhom,inthewayofhisworld,hemetveryseldom,butwhomhealwaysfound,ashesaid,justwherehehadlefthim。
Boardmannevermadeanysignofsuspectingthathewasputonandoff,accordingtoDan’snecessityordesireforcomfortorcongratulation;butitwaspartoftheirjokethatDan’scomingtohimalwaysmeantsomethingdecisiveinhisexperiences。Thereporterwasathislatebreakfast,whichhislandladyfurnishedhiminhisroom,though,asMrs。Mashsaid,shenevergavemeals,butacupofcoffeeandaneggortwo,yes。
“Well?”hesaid,withoutlookingup。
“Well,I’mdonefor!“criedDan。
“Again?”askedBoardman。
“Again!Theothertimewasnothing,Boardman——Iknewitwasn’tanything;
butthis——thisisfinal。”
“Goon。”saidBoardman,lookingaboutforhisindividualsalt-cellar,whichhefoundundertheedgeofhisplate;andMaveringlaidthewholecasebeforehim。Ashemadenocommentonitforawhile,Danwasobligedtoaskhimwhathethoughtofit。“Well。”hesaid,withthesmilethatshowedtheevennessofhisprettyteeth,“there’sakindofwildjusticeinit。”Headmittedthis,withtheobjectofmeetingDan’sviewsinanopinion。
“SoyouthinkI’mafaithlessmantoo,doyou?”demandedMaveringstormily。
“Notfromyourpointofview。”saidBoardman,whokeptonquietlyeatinganddrinking。
MaveringwastooamiablenottofeelBoardman’sinnocenceofoffenceinhisunperturbedbehaviour。“Therewasnofaithlessnessaboutit,andyouknowit。”hewenton,halflaughing,halfcrying,inhisexcitement,andmakingBoardmantheavenueofanappealreallyaddressedtoAlice。“Iwasreadytodowhateithersidedecided。”
“Orboth。”suggestedBoardman。
“Yes,orboth。”saidDan,boldlyacceptingthesuggestion。“Itwouldn’thavecostmeapangtogiveupifI’dbeenintheplaceofeither。”
“Iguessthat’swhatshecouldneverunderstand。”Boardmanmusedaloud。
“AndIcouldneverunderstandhowanyonecouldfailtoseethatthatwaswhatIintended——expected:thatitwouldallcomeoutrightofitself——
naturally。”DanwasstilladdressingAliceinthisbelatedreasoning。
“Buttobeaccusedofbadfaith——oftryingtodeceiveanyone——“
“Prettyrough。”saidBoardman。
“Rough?It’smorethanIcanstand!“
“Well,youdon’tseemtobeaskedtostandit。”saidBoardman,andMaveringlaughedforlornlywithhimathisjoke,andthenwalkedawayandlookedoutofBoardman’sdormer-windowontheroofsbelow,withtheirdirty,smoke-stainedFebruarysnow。Hepulledouthishandkerchief,andwipedhisfacewithit。Whenheturnedround,Boardmanlookedkeenlyathim,andasked,withanairofcaution,“Andsoit’sallup?”
“Yes,it’sallup。”saidDanhoarsely。
“Nodangerofarelapse?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“NodangerofhavingmysympathyhandedoverlatertoMissPasmerforexamination?”
“Iguessyoucanspeakupfreely,Boardman。”saidDan,“ifthat’swhatyoumean。MissPasmerandIarequits。”
“Well,then,I’mgladofit。Shewasn’ttheoneforyou。Sheisn’tfitforyou。”
What’sthereasonsheisn’t?”criedDan。“She’sthemostbeautifulandnoblegirlintheworld,andthemostconscientious,andthebest——ifsheisunjusttome。”
“Nodoubtofthat。I’mnotattackingher,andI’mnotdefendingyou。”
“Whatareyoudoingthen?”“
“SimplysayingthatIdon’tbelieveyoutwowouldeverunderstandeachother。Youhaven’tgotthesamepointofview,andyoucouldn’tmakeitgo。Bothoutofascrape。”
“Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbyascrape。”saidDan,resentingthewordmorethantheidea。Boardmantacitlyrefusedtomodifyorwithdrawit,andDansaid,afterasulkysilence,inwhichhebegantodramatiseameetingwithhisfamily:“I’mgoinghome;Ican’tstandithere。What’sthereasonyoucan’tcomewithme,Boardman?”
“Doyoumeantoyourrooms?”
“No;totheFalls。”
“Thanks。Guessnot。”
“Whynot?”
“Don’tcareaboutbeingafifthwheel。”
“Oh,pshaw,now,Boardman!Lookhere,youmustgo。Iwantyoutogo。
I——Iwantyoursupport。That’sit。I’mallbrokenup,andIcouldn’tstandthatthreehours’pullalone。They’llbegladtoseeyou——allofthem。Don’tyousupposethey’llbegladtoseeyou?They’realwaysglad;
andthey’llunderstand。”
“Idon’tbelieveyouwantmetogoyourself。Youjustthinkyoudo。”
“No。Ireallydowantyou,Boardman。Iwanttotalkitoverwithyou。I
dowantyou。I’mnotfooling。”
“Don’tthinkIcouldgetaway。”YetheseemedtobepleasedwiththenotionoftheFalls;itmadehimsmile。
“Well,see。”saidMaveringdisconsolately。“I’mgoingroundtomyroomsnow,andI’llbetheretilltwoo’clock;train’sat2。30。”Hewenttowardsthedoor,wherehefacedabout。“Andyoudon’tthinkitwouldbeofanyuse?”
“Anyuse——what?”
“Tryingto——to——tomakeitup。”
“HowshouldIknow?”
“No,no;ofcourseyoucouldn’t。”saidDan,miserablydowncast。AlltheresentmentwhichAlice’sinjusticehadrousedinhimhaddiedout;hewassufferingashelplesslyandhopelesslyasachild。“Well。”hesighed,asheswungoutofthedoor。
Boardmanfoundhimseatedathiswriting-deskinhissmoking-jacketwhenhecametohim,ratherearly,andonthedeskwerelaidoutthepropertiesofthelittleplaywhichhadcometoatragicclose。Thereweresomesmallbitsofjewellery,amongtherestaringofherswhichAlicehadbeenlettinghimwear;alockofherhairwhichhehadkept,forthegreaterconvenienceofkissing,intheoriginalparcel,tiedwithcrimsonribbon;asuccessionofflowerswhichshehadworn,moreandmoredryandbrownwithage;oneofhergloves,whichhehadfoundandkeptfromthedaytheyfirstmetinCambridge;abunchofwitheredbluebellstiedwithsweet-grass,whoseodourfilledtheroom,fromthepicnicatCampobello;
scrapsofpaperwithherwritingonthem,andcards;severalphotographsofher,andpilesofnotesandletters。
“Lookhere。”saidDan,knowingitwasBoardmanwithoutturninground,“whatamItodoaboutthesethings?”
Boardmanrespectfullyexaminedthemoverhisshoulder。“Don’tknowwhattheusualceremonyis。”hesaid,heventuredtoadd,referringtotheheapsofletters,“Seemstohavebeenratherepistolary,doesn’tshe?”
“Oh,don’ttalkofherasifsheweredead!“criedDan。“I’vebeenfeelingasifshewere。”Allatoncehedroppedhisheadamongthesewitnessesofhisloss,andsobbed。
Boardmanappearedshocked,andyetsomewhatamused;hemadeasoftlowsibilationbetweenhisteeth。
Danliftedhishead。“Boardman,ifyouevergivemeaway!“
“Oh,Idon’tsupposeit’sveryhilarious。”saidBoardman,withvaguekindness。“Packedyet?”heasked,gettingawayfromthesubjectassomethinghedidnotfeelhimselffittedtodealwithconsecutively。
“I’monlygoingtotakeabag。”saidMavering,goingtogetsomeclothesdownfromaclosetwherehiswordshadasepulchralreverberation。
“Can’tIhelp?”askedBoardman,keepingawayfromthesadmemorialsofDan’slovestrewnaboutonthedesk,andyetnotabletokeephiseyesoffthemacrosstheroom。
“Well,Idon’tknow。”saidDan。Hecameoutwithhisarmfulofcoatsandtrousers,andthrewthemonthebed。“Areyougoing?”
“IfIcouldbelieveyouwantedmeto。”
“Good!“criedMavering,andthefactseemedtobrightenhimimmediately。
“Ifyouwantto,stuffthesethingsin,whileI’mdoinguptheseotherthings。”Henoddedhisheadside-wisetowardthedesk。
“Allright。”saidBoardman。
HisburstofgriefmusthaverelievedDangreatly。Hesetaboutgatheringuptherelicsonthedesk,andgettingasuitablepieceofpapertowrapthemin。Herejectedseveralpiecesasinappropriate。
“Idon’tknowwhatkindofpapertodothesethingsupin。”hesaidatlast。
“Anyspecialkindofpaperrequired?”Boardmanasked,pausingintheactoffoldingapairofpantaloonssoasnottobreakthefallovertheboot。
“Ididn’tknowtherewas,butthereseemstobe。”saidDan。
“Silverpaperseemstoberathermoreforcakeandthatsortofthing。”
suggestedBoardman。“Kindofmourningtoo,isn’tit——silver?”
“Idon’tknow。”saidDan。“ButIhaven’tgotanysilverpaper。”
“Newspaperwouldn’tdo?”
“Well,hardly,Boardman。”saidDan,withsarcasm。
“Well。”saidBoardman,“Ishouldhavesupposedthatnothingcouldbesimplerthantosendbackalotoflove-letters;butthequestionofpaperseemsinsuperable。Manilapaperwouldn’tdoeither。Andthencomesstring。Whatkindofstringareyougoingtotieitupwith?”
“Well,wewon’tstartthatquestiontillwegettoit。”answeredDan,lookingabout。“IfIcouldfindsomekindofabox——“
“Haven’tyougotacollarbox?Betheverything!“Boardmanhadgonebacktothecoatsandtrousers,abandoningDantothesubtlerdifficultiesinwhichhewasinvolved。
“They’veallgotlabels。”saidMavering,gettingdownonemarked“TheTennyson“andanotherlettered“TheClarion。”andlookingatthemwithcoldrejection。
“Don’tseehowyou’regoingtosendthesethingsbackatall,then。Havetokeepthem,Iguess。”Boardmanfinishedhistask,andcamebacktoDan。
“IguessI’vegotitnow。”saidMavering,liftingthelidofhisdesk,andtakingoutalargestiffenvelope,inwhichasetofphotographicviewshadcome。
“Seemstohavebeenmadeforit。”Boardmanexulted,watchingtheenvelope,asitfilledup,expandintoakindofshapelypacket。Danputthethingssilentlyin,andsealedtheparcelwithhisring。Thenheturneditovertoaddressit,butthewritingofAlice’snameforthispurposeseemedtoomuchforhim,inspiteofBoardman’shumoroussupportthroughout。
“Oh,Ican’tdoit。”hesaid,fallingbackinhischair。
“Letme。”saidhisfriend,cheerfullyignoringhisdespair。Hephilosophisedthewholetransaction,asheaddressedthepackage,rangforamessenger,andsentitaway,tellinghimtocallacabfortenminutespasttwo。
“Mightygoodthinginlifethatwemovebysteps。Nowonthestage,orinanovel,you’dhavegotthosethingstogetherandaddressed’em,anddespatched’em,injusttherightkindofpaper,withjusttherightkindofstringroundit,atadash;andthenyou’dhavehadtimetogoupandleanyourheadagainstsomethingandsoliloquise,orelsethinkunutterablethings。ButhereyouseehowamercifulProvidenceblocksyourwayallalong。You’vehadtofightthroughallsortofsordidlittledetailstothegrandtragicresultofgettingoffMissPasmer’sletters,andwhenyoureachityoudon’tminditabit。”
“Don’tI?”demandedDan,inashollowavoiceashecould。“You’djokeatafuneral,Boardman。”
“I’veseensomeprettycheerfulfunerals。”saidBoardman。“Andit’sthisprincipleofsteps,ofdegrees,ofhavingtodothislittlething,andthatlittlething,thatkeepsfuneralsfromkillingthesurvivors。I
supposethisisworsethanafuneral——lookatitintherightlight。Youmournasonewithouthope,don’tyou?Livethroughittoo,Isuppose。”
HemadeDanhelpgettherestofhisthingsintohisbag,andwithonelittleartificeandanotherpreventedhimfromstagnatingindespair。HedissentedfromtheideaofwaitingoveranotherdaytoseeifAlicewouldnotrelentwhenshegotherlettersback,andsendforDantocomeandseeher。
“Relentagooddealmorewhenshefindsyou’vegoneoutoftown,ifshesendsforyou。”heargued;andhegotDanintothecabandofftothestation,carefullymakinghimanactivepartnerinthewholeundertaking,eventocheckinghisownbag。
BeforeheboughthisownticketheappealedoncemoretoDan。
“Lookhere!Ifeellikeafoolgoingoffwithyouonthisexpedition。Behonestforonce,now,Mavering,andtellmeyou’vethoughtbetterofit,anddon’twantmetogo!“
“Yes——yes,Ido。Ohyes,you’vegottogo。IIdowantyou。I——youmakemeseethingsinjusttherightlight,don’tyouknow。Thatideaofyoursaboutlittlesteps——it’sbracedmeallup。Yes——“
“You’resuchaninfernalhumbug。”saidBoardman,“Ican’ttellwhetheryouwantmeornot。ButI’minforitnow,andI’llgo。”Thenheboughthisticket。
XLV。
BoardmanputhimselfinchargeofMavering,andtookhimintothesmokingcar。Itwasimpossibletoindulgeapoeticgloomtherewithoutbecomingunpleasantlyconspicuousinthesmokingandeuchreandprofanity。Someofthemenweresilentanddull,butnoonewasapparentlyveryunhappy,andperhapsifDanhaddealtinabsolutesinceritywithhimself,evenhewouldnothavefoundhimselfwhollyso。HedidnotfeelashehadfeltwhenAlicerejectedhim。Thenhewaswoundedtothequickthroughhisvanity,andnow;inspiteofall,inspiteoftheinvoluntarytenderswayingofhishearttowardherthroughthemereforceofhabit,inspiteofsomeremotecompunctionsforhiswantofcandourwithher,hewassupportedbyasenseofherinjustice,herhardness。Relatedwiththiswasanobscuresenseofescape,ofliberation,which,howeverhemightsilenceanddisownit,wasstillthere。Hecouldnothelpbeingawarethathehadlongrelinquishedtastescustoms,purposes,ideals,togainapeacethatseemedmoreandmorefleetinganduncertain,andthathehadsubmittedtootherswhich,nowthatthemomentofgivingpleasurebyhissubmissionwaspast,herecognisedasdisagreeable。Hefeltasortofguiltinhisenlargement;heknew,byallthathehad,everheardorreadofpeopleinhisposition,thatheoughttobealtogethermiserable;andyetthisconsciousnessofreliefpersisted。Hetoldhimselfthataverytragicalthinghadbefallenhim;thatthisbrokenengagementwastheruinofhislifeandtheendofhisyouth,andthathemustliveonanoldandjoylessman,wisewiththeknowledgethatcomestodecrepitudeanddespair;heimaginedacertainlookforhimself,agait,aname,thatwouldexpressthis;butallthesamehewasawareofhavinggotoutofsomething。Wasitabondage,ascrape,asBoardmancalledit?Hethoughthemustbeaverylight,shallow,andfrivolousnaturenottobeutterlybrokenupbyhisdisaster。
“Idon’tknowwhatI’mgoinghomefor。”hesaidhoarselytoBoardman。
“Kindofarest,Isuppose。”suggestedhisfriend。
“Yes,Iguessthat’sit。”saidDan。“I’mtired。”
Itseemedtohimthatthiswasratherfine;itwasafatigueofthesoulthathewastorestfrom。Herememberedtheapostrophiccloseofanovelinwhichtheheroinediesaftermuchemotionalsuffering。“Quiet,quietheart!“herepeatedtohimself。Yes,hetoohaddiedtohope,tolove,tohappiness。
Astheydrewneartheirjourney’sendhesaid,“Idon’tknowhowI’mgoingtobreakittothem。”
“Oh,probablybreakitself。”saidBoardman。“Thesethingsusuallydo。”
“Yes,ofcourse。”Danassented。
“Knowfromyourlooksthatsomething’sup。Oryoumightletmegoaheadalittleandpreparethem。”
Danlaughed。“Itwasawfullygoodofyoutocome,Boardman。Idon’tknowwhatIshouldhavedonewithoutyou。”
“NothingIlikemorethantheselittletrips。Brightensyouuptoserethemiseryofothers;makesyoufeelthatyou’reonpeculiarlygoodtermswithProvidence。Haven’tenjoyedmyselfsomuchsincethatdayinPortland。”Boardman’seyestwinkled。
“Yes。”saidDan,withadeepsigh,“it’sapityithadn’tendedthere。”
“Oh,Idon’tknow。Youwon’thavetogothroughwithitagain。Somethingthathadtocome,wasn’tit?Neverbeensatisfiedifyouhadn’ttriedit。
Kindofachingvoidbefore,andnowyou’vegotenough。”
“Yes,I’vegotenough。”saidDan,“ifthat’sall。”
WhentheygotoutofthetrainatPonkwassetFalls,andtheconductorandthebrakeman,whoknewDanashisfather’sson,andtreatedhimwiththedistinctionduearepresentativeofaninterestvaluedbytheroad,hadbiddenhimarespectfullyintimategood-night,andhebegantoclimbthehilltohisfather’shouse,herecurredtothedifficultybeforehiminbreakingthenewstohisfamily。“IwishIcouldhaveitoverinaflash。
IwishI’dthoughttotelegraphittothem。”
“Wouldn’thavedone。”saidBoardman。“Itwouldhavegiven’emtimetoformulatequestionsandconjectures,andnowtheastonishmentwilltaketheirbreathawaytillyoucangetyoursecondwind,andthen——you’llbeallright。”
“Youthinkso?”askedDansubmissively。
“Knowso。Yousee,ifyoucouldhavehaditoverinaflash,itwouldhaveknockedyouflat。Butnowyou’vetakenallthelittlesteps,andyou’vegotalotmoretotake,andyou’reallbracedup。See?You’relikerock,now——adamant。”DanlaughedinforlornperceptionofBoardman’saffectionateirony。“Littlestepsarethething。You’llhavetogoinnowandmeetyourfamily,andpassthetimeofdaywitheachone,andtalkabouttheweather,andaccountformybeingalong,andaskhowtheyallare;andbythetimeyou’vehaddinner,andgotsettledwithyourlegsoutinfrontofthefire,you’llbejustinthemoodforit。Enjoytellingthemallaboutit。”
“Don’t,Boardman。”pleadedDan。“Boardy,IbelieveifIcouldgetinanduptomyroomwithoutanybody’sseeingme,I’dletyoutellthem。Theredon’tseemtobeanybodyabout,andIthinkwecouldmanageit。”
“Itwouldn’twork。”saidBoardman。“Gottodoityourself。”
“Well,then,waitaminute。”saidDandesperately;andBoardmanknewthathewastostayoutsidewhileDanreconnoitredtheinterior。Danopenedonedoorafteranothertillhestoodwithinthehotbrilliantlylightedhall。EuniceMaveringwascomingdownthestairs,hoodedandwrappedforawalkonthelongverandahsbeforesupper。
“Dan!“shecried。
“It’sallup,Eunice。”hesaidatonce,asifshehadaskedhimaboutit。
“Myengagement’soff。”
“Oh,I’msoglad!“Shedescendeduponhimwithoutstretchedarms,butstoppedherselfbeforeshereachedhim。“It’sahoax。Whatdoyoumean?
Doyoureallymeanit,Dan?”
“IguessImeanit。Butdon’t——Holdon!Where’sMinnie?”
Euniceturned,andranbackupstairs。“Minnie!Min!“shecalledonherway。“Dan’sengagement’soff。”
“Idon’tbelieveit!“answeredMinnie’svoicejoyously,fromwithinsomeroom。Itwasfollowedbyherpresence,withsuccessiveinquiries。“Howdoyouknow?”Didyougetaletter?Whendidithappen?Oh,isn’tittoogood?”
Minniewasalsodressedfortheverandahpromenade,whichtheyalwaystookwhenthesnowwastoodeep。Shecaughtsightofherbrotherasshecamedown。“Why,Dan’shere!Dan,I’vebeenthinkingaboutyouallday。”Shekissedhim,whichEunicewasnowremindedtodotoo。
“Yes,it’strue,Minnie。”saidDangravely。“Icameuptotellyou。Itdon’tseemtodistressyoumuch。”
“Dan!“saidhissisterreproachfully。“YouknowIdidn’tmeantosayanythingIonlyfeltsogladtohaveyoubackagain。”
“Iunderstand,Minnie——Idon’tdameyou。It’sallright。How’smother?”
Fatherupfromtheworksyet?I’mgoingtomyroom。”
“Indeedyou’renot!“criedEunice,witheldersisterlyauthority。“Youshalltellusaboutitfirst。”
“Ohno!Lethimgo,Eunice!“pleadedMinnie,“PoorDan!AndIdon’tthinkweoughttogotowalkwhen——“
Dan’seyesdimmed,andhisvoiceweakenedalittleathersympathy。“Yes,go。I’mtired——that’sall。Thereisn’tanythingtotellyou,hardly。
MissPasmer——“
“Why,he’spale!“criedMinnie。“Eunice!“
“Oh,it’sjusttheheatinhere。”Danreallyfeltalittlesickandfaintwithit,buthewasnotsorrytoseemaffectedbytheday’sstrainuponhisnerves。
Thegirlsbegantotakeofftheirwraps。“Don’t。I’llgowithyou。
Boardman’soutthere。”
“Boardman!Whatnonsense!“exclaimedEunice。
“He’llliketohearyouropinionofit。”Danbegan;buthissisterpulledthedoorsopen,andranouttoseeifhereallymeantthattoo。
WhetherBoardmanhadheardher,orhaddiscreetlywithdrawnoutofearshotatthefirstsoundofvoices,shecouldnottell,butshefoundhimsomedistanceawayfromthesnow-boxonthepiazza。“Dan’sjustmanagedtotellusyouwerehere。”shesaid,givinghimherhand。“I’mgladtoseeyou。Docomein。”
“ComealongasasortofJob’scomforter。”Boardmanexplained,ashefollowedherin;andhehadthesillylookthatthemanwhofeelshimselfsuperfluousmustwear。
“Thenyouknowaboutit?”saidEunice,whileMinnieMaveringandhewereshakinghands。
“Yes,Boardmanknows;hecantellyouaboutit。”saidDan,fromthehallchairhehaddroppedinto。Heroseandmadehiswaytothestairs,withtheeffectofleavingthewholethingtothem。
Hissistersranafterhim,andgothimupstairsandintohisroom,withBoardman’ssemi-satiricalconnivance,andEuniceputupthewindow,whileMinniewenttogetsomecolognetowethisforehead。Theireffortsweresosuccessfulthatherevivedsufficientlytodrivethemoutofhisroom,andmakethemgoandshowBoardmantohis。
“Youknowtheway,Mr。Boardman。”saidEunice,goingbeforehim,whileMinniefollowedtimorously,butcuriousforwhatheshouldsay。Shelingeredonthethreshold,whilehersisterwentinandpulledtheelectricapparatuswhichlightedthegas-burners。“IsupposeDandidn’tbreakit?”shesaid,turningsharplyuponhim。
“No;andIdon’tthinkhewastoblame。”saidBoardman,inferringherreservedanxiety。
“Oh,I’mquitesureofthat。”saidEunice,rejectingwhatshehadaskedfor。“You’llfindeverything,Mr。Boardman。ItwaskindofyoutocomewithDan。Supper’satseven。”
“Howsevereyouwerewithhim!“murmuredMinnie,followingheraway。
“SeverewithDan?”
“No——withMr。Boardman。”
“Whatnonsense!Ihadtobe。Icouldn’tlethimdefendDantome。
Coupleofsillyboys!“
AfteramomentMinniesaid,“Idon’tthinkhe’ssilly。”
“Who?”
“Mr。Boardman。”
“Well,Danis,then,tobringhimatsuchatime。ButIsupposehefeltthathecouldn’tgetherewithouthim。Whataboy!Thinkofsuchachildbeingengaged!Ihopeweshan’thearanymoreofsuchnonsenseforonewhileagain——atleasttillDan’sgothisgrowth。”
Theywentdownintothelibrary,where,intheirexcitement,theysatdownwithmostoftheiroutdoorthingson。
Minniehadthesoftcontrary-mindednessofgentlenatures。“IshouldliketoknowhowyouwouldhavehadDanbearit。”shesaidrebelliously。
“How?Likeaman。Orlikeawoman。HowdoyousupposeMissPasmer’sbearingit?Doyousupposeshe’sgotsomefriendtohelpher?”
“Ifshe’sbrokenit,shedoesn’tneedanyone。”urgedMinnie。
“Well。”saidEunice,withherhighscornofDanunabated,“Inevercouldhavelikedthatgirl,butIcertainlybegintorespecther。IthinkI
couldhavegotonwithher——nowthatit’snouse。Ideclare。”shebrokeoff,“we’resittinghereswelteringtodeath!Whatarewekeepingourthingsonfor?”Shebegantotearhersviolentlyoffandtoflingthemonchairs,scolding,andlaughingatthesametimewithMinnie,attheirabsent-mindedness。
Aheavystepsoundedontheverandahwithout。
“There’sfather!“shecriedvividly,jumpingtoherfeetandrunningtothedoor,whileMinnie,inanervousbewilderment,ranoffupstairstoherroom。Euniceflungthedooropen。“Well,father,we’vegotDanbackagain。”Andatalookofquietquestioninhiseyeshehurriedon:“Hisengagement’sbroken,andhe’scomeupheretotellus,andbroughtMr。
Boardmanalongtohelp。”
“Whereishe?”askedthefather,withhisruminantquiet,pullingofffirstonesleeveofhisovercoat,andpausingforEunice’sanswerbeforehepulledofftheother。
XLVI。
“He’supinhisroom,restingfromtheeffort。”Shelaughednervously,andherfathermadenocomment。Hetookoffhisarticles,andthenwentcreakingupstairstoDan’sroom。Butatthedoorhepaused,withhishandontheknob,andturnedawaytohisownroomwithoutentering。
Danmusthaveheardhim;inafewminuteshecametohim。
“Well,Dan。”saidhisfather,shakinghands。
“IsupposeEunicehastoldyou?”Well,Iwanttotellyouwhyithappened。”
TherewassomethinginhisfatherthatalwayssteadiedDanandkepthimtothepoint。Henowputthewholecasefairlyandsquarely,andhiscandourandopennessseemedtohimtoreactandcharacterisehisconductthroughout。Hedidnotrealisethatthiswasnotsotillhisfathersaidattheclose,withmildjustice,“Youweretoblameforlettingthethingrunonsoatlooseends。”
“Yes,ofcourse。”saidDan,seeingthathewas。“Buttherewasnointentionofdeceivinganyoneofbadfaith——“
“Ofcoursenot。”
“Ithoughtitcouldbeeasilyarrangedwheneveritcametothepoint。”
“Ifyou’dbeenolder,youwouldn’thavethoughtthat。Youhadwomentodealwithonbothsides。Butifit’sallover,I’mnotsorry。IalwaysadmiredMissPasmer,butI’vebeenmoreandmoreafraidyouwerenotsuitedtoeachother。Yourmotherdoesn’tknowyou’rehere?”
“No,sir,Isupposenot。Doyouthinkitwilldistressher?”
“Howdidyoursisterstakeit?”
Dangavearuefullaugh。“Itseemedtoberatherapopularmovewiththem。”
“Iwillseeyourmotherfirst。”saidthefather。
Heleftthemwhentheywentintothelibraryaftersupper,andalittlelaterDanandEuniceleftBoardmaninchargeofMinniethere。
Helookedaftertheirunannouncedwithdrawalincomicconsciousness。
“It’snousepretendingthatI’mnotaprettylargepluralityhere。”hesaidtoMinnie。
“Oh,I’msogladyoucame!“shecried,withakindnesswhichwasasrealasifithadbeenmoresincere。
“Doyouthinkmotherwillfeelitmuch?”askedDananxiously,ashewentupstairswithEunice。
“Well,she’llhatetoloseacorrespondent——sucharegularone。”saidEunice,andtheaffairbeingsofarbeyondanyothercomment,shelaughedtherestofthewaytotheirmother’sroom。
Thewholefamilyhadinsomedegreethatfoiblewhichaffectspeoplewholeadisolatedlives;theycometothinkthattheyaretheonlypeoplewhohavetheirvirtues;theyexaggeratethese,andtheyconceiveakindnessevenforthequalitieswhicharenottheirvirtues。Mrs。Mavering’slifewassecludedagainfromthefamilyseclusion,andtheirpeculiaritieswereintensifiedinher。Besides,shehadsomeverymarkedpeculiaritiesofherown,andthesewerealsointensifiedbythesolitudetowhichshewasnecessarilyleftsomuch。Shemeditatedagreatdealuponthecharacterofherchildren,andshelikedtoanalyseandcensureitbothinherownmindandopenlyintheirpresence。Shewasverytrenchantanddefiniteintheseestimatesofthem;shelikedtoticketthem,andthenticketthemanew。Sheexploredtheirancestralhistoryonbothsidesfortheoriginoftheirtraits,andthereweretimeswhenshereducedtheminformulatomerecongeriesofinheritedcharacteristics。IfEunicewasself-willedanddespotic,shewasjustlikehergrandmotherMavering;ifMinniewasallsentimentandgentlestubbornness,itwasbecausetwoauntsofhers,oneoneitherside,wereexactlyso;ifDanlovedpleasureandbeauty,andwassinuousanduncertaininsomanyways,andyetwassokindandfaithfulandgood,aswellasshilly-shallyingandundecided,itwasbecausehermother,andhermother’sfather,hadthesequalitiesinthesamecombination。
Whenshetookherchildrentopiecesbeforetheirfaces,shewassharpandadmonitoryenoughwiththem。Shewarnedthemtowhattheircharacterswouldbringthemtoiftheydidnotlookout;butperhapsbecauseshebeheldthemsohopelesslythepresenteffectoftheaccumulatedtendenciesofthefamilypast,shewastenderandforgivingtotheiractions。Themothercameinthere,andsupersededthestudentofheredity:shefoundexcuseforthemintheperversityofcircumstance,inthepeculiarhardshipofthecase,inthemalignantmisbehaviourofothers。
AsDanentered,withtheprecedencehisfatherandsisteryieldedhimastheprincipalactorinthescenewhichmustfollow,sheliftedherselfvigorouslyinbed,andproppedherselfontheelbowofonearmwhileshestretchedtheothertowardshim。
“I’mgladofit,Dan!“shecalled,atthemomentheopenedthedoor,andashecametowardhershecontinued,withtheamazingvelocityofutterancepeculiartonervoussufferersofhersex:“Iknowallaboutit,andIdon’tblameyouabit!AndIdon’tblameher!Poorhelplessyoungthings!Butit’saperfectmercyit’sallover;it’sthegreatestdeliveranceIeverheardof!You’dhavebeeneatenupalive。Isawit,andIknewitfromtheveryfirstmoment,andI’velivedinfearandtremblingforyou。Youcouldhavegotonwellenoughifyou’dbeenlefttoyourselves,butthatyoucouldn’thavebeennorhopetobeaslongasyoubreathed,fromthemeddlingandthemachinationsandthemaliceofthatunscrupulousandunconscionableoldCat!“
BythetimeMrs。Maveringhadhissedoutthelastwordshehadherarmroundherboy’sneckandwasclutchinghim,safeandsoundafterhisperil,toherbreast;andbetweenherkissingandcryingsherepeatedheraccusalsanddenunciationswithviolentvolubility。
Dancouldnothaverepliedtotheminthateffusionofgratitudeandtendernesshefeltforhismother’spartisanship;andwhenshewentoninalmosttheverytermsofhisself-defence,andtoldhimthathehaddoneashehadbecauseitwaseasyforhimtoyield,andhecouldnotimagineaCatwhowouldputherdaughteruptoentrappinghimintoapromisethatsheknewmustbreakhismother’sheart,hefoundhersorightonthemainpointthathecouldnothelpsomequestionofMrs。Pasmerinhissoul。
Couldshereallyhavebeenatthebottomofitall?Shewasverysly,andshemightbeveryfalse,anditwascertainlyshewhohadfirstproposedtheirgoingabroadtogether。Itlookedasifitmightbeashismothersaid,andatanyrateitwasnotimetodisputeher,andhedidnotsayawordinbehalfofMrs。Pasmer,whomshecontinuedtorendinathousandpiecesandscattertothewindstillshehadtostopbreathless。
“Yes!it’squiteasIexpected!Shedideverythingshecouldtotrapyouintoit。Shefairlyflungthatpoorgirlatyou。Shelaidherplanssothatyoucouldn’tsayno——sheunderstoodyourcharacterfromthestart!——
andthen,whenitcameoutbyaccident,andshesawthatshehadolderheadstodealwith,andyouwerenotgoingtobequiteathermercy,shedroppedthemaskinaninstant,andmadeAlicebreakwithyou。Oh,I
couldseethroughherfromthebeginning!Andthenexttime,Dan,I
adviseyou,asyouneversuspectanybodyyourself,toconsultwithsomebodywhodoesn’ttakepeopleforwhattheyseem,andnottoletyourselfbeflatteredoutofyoursensor,evenifyouseeyourfatheris。”
Mrs。Maveringdroppedbackonherpillow,andherhusbandsmiledpatientlyattheirdaughter。
Dansawhispatientsmileandunderstoodit;andtheinjusticewhichhisfatherboremadehimfinallyunwillingtoletanotherremainunderit。
Hardasitwastoopposehismotherinanythingwhenshewaspraisinghimsosweetlyandcomfortinghiminthemomentofhisneed,hepulledhimselftogethertoprotest:“No,no,mother!Idon’tthinkMrs。Pasmerwastoblame;Idon’tbelieveshehadanythingtodowithit。She’salwaysstoodmyfriend——“
“Oh,I’venodoubtshe’smadeyouthinkso,Dan。”saidhismother,withunabatedfondnessforhim;“andyouthinksobecauseyou’resosimpleandgood,andneversuspectevilofanyone。It’sthishideousoptimismthat’skillingeverything——’
Acertainnoteintheinvalid’sfallingvoiceseemedtowarnherhearersofanimpendingchangethatcoulddonoonegood。Eunicerosehastilyandinterrupted:“Mother,Mr。Boardman’shere。HecameupwithDan。MayMinniecomeinwithhim?”
Mrs。MaveringshotaglanceofinquiryatDan,andthenletaswiftinspectionrangeoverallthedetailsoftheroom,andfinallyconcentrateitselfonthesilkandlaceofherbed,overwhichshepassedasmoothinghand。“Mr。Boardman?”shecried,withinstantlyrecoveredamiability。“Ofcourseshemay!“