第7章

类别:其他 作者:Samuel Butler字数:5032更新时间:18/12/21 17:25:17
Theremainingletter,writtenbyreturnofpost,mustnowbegiven。 Ithasthemeritofbrevity。 “DearTheobald,——Ihavereceivedyours。Iamatalosstoconceiveitsmotive,butamveryclearastoitseffect。Youshallnotreceiveasinglesixpencefrommetillyoucometoyoursenses。 Shouldyoupersistinyourfollyandwickedness,IamhappytorememberthatIhaveyetotherchildrenwhoseconductIcandependupontobeasourceofcreditandhappinesstome——Youraffectionatebuttroubledfather,G。PONTIFEX。” Idonotknowtheimmediatesequeltotheforegoingcorrespondence,butitallcameperfectlyrightintheend。EitherTheobald’sheartfailedhim,orheinterpretedtheoutwardshovewhichhisfathergavehim,astheinwardcallforwhichIhavenodoubtheprayedwithgreatearnestness——forhewasafirmbelieverintheefficacyofprayer。AndsoamIundercertaincircumstances。Tennysonhassaidthatmorethingsarewroughtbyprayerthanthisworlddreamsof,buthehaswiselyrefrainedfromsayingwhethertheyaregoodthingsorbadthings。Itmightperhapsbeaswelliftheworldweretodreamof,orevenbecomewideawaketo,someofthethingsthatarebeingwroughtbyprayer。Butthequestionisavowedlydifficult。IntheendTheobaldgothisfellowshipbyastrokeofluckverysoonaftertakinghisdegree,andwasordainedintheautumnofthesameyear,1825。 MrAllabywasrectorofCrampsford,avillageafewmilesfromCambridge。He,too,hadtakenagooddegree,hadgotafellowship,andinthecourseoftimehadacceptedacollegelivingofabout400 poundsayearandahouse。Hisprivateincomedidnotexceed200 poundsayear。Onresigninghisfellowshiphemarriedawomanagooddealyoungerthanhimselfwhoborehimelevenchildren,nineofwhom——twosonsandsevendaughters——wereliving。Thetwoeldestdaughtershadmarriedfairlywell,butatthetimeofwhichIamnowwritingtherewerestillfiveunmarried,ofagesvaryingbetweenthirtyandtwenty-two——andthesonswereneitherofthemyetofftheirfather’shands。ItwasplainthatifanythingweretohappentoMrAllabythefamilywouldbeleftpoorlyoff,andthismadebothMrandMrsAllabyasunhappyasitoughttohavemadethem。 Reader,didyoueverhaveanincomeatbestnonetoolarge,whichdiedwithyouallexcept200poundsayear?Didyoueveratthesametimehavetwosonswhomustbestartedinlifesomehow,andfivedaughtersstillunmarriedforwhomyouwouldonlybetoothankfultofindhusbands——ifyouknewhowtofindthem?Ifmoralityisthatwhich,onthewhole,bringsamanpeaceinhisdecliningyears——if,thatistosay,itisnotanutterswindle,canyouunderthesecircumstancesflatteryourselfthatyouhaveledamorallife? Andthis,eventhoughyourwifehasbeensogoodawomanthatyouhavenotgrowntiredofher,andhasnotfallenintosuchill-healthaslowersyourownhealthinsympathy;andthoughyourfamilyhasgrownupvigorous,amiable,andblessedwithcommonsense。Iknowmanyoldmenandwomenwhoarereputedmoral,butwhoarelivingwithpartnerswhomtheyhavelongceasedtolove,orwhohaveuglydisagreeablemaidendaughtersforwhomtheyhaveneverbeenabletofindhusbands——daughterswhomtheyloatheandbywhomtheyareloathedinsecret,orsonswhosefollyorextravaganceisaperpetualwearandworrytothem。Isitmoralforamantohavebroughtsuchthingsuponhimself?SomeoneshoulddoformoralswhatthatoldPecksniffBaconhasobtainedthecreditofhavingdoneforscience。 ButtoreturntoMrandMrsAllaby。MrsAllabytalkedabouthavingmarriedtwoofherdaughtersasthoughithadbeentheeasiestthingintheworld。Shetalkedinthiswaybecausesheheardothermothersdoso,butinherheartofheartsshedidnotknowhowshehaddoneit,norindeed,ifithadbeenherdoingatall。Firsttherehadbeenayoungmaninconnectionwithwhomshehadtriedtopractisecertainmanoeuvreswhichshehadrehearsedinimaginationoverandoveragain,butwhichshefoundimpossibletoapplyinpractice。Thentherehadbeenweeksofawurrawurraofhopesandfearsandlittlestratagemswhichasoftenasnotprovedinjudicious,andthensomehoworotherintheend,therelaytheyoungmanboundandwithanarrowthroughhisheartatherdaughter’sfeet。Itseemedtohertobeallaflukewhichshecouldhavelittleornohopeofrepeating。Shehadindeedrepeateditonce,andmightperhapswithgoodluckrepeatityetonceagain——butfivetimesover!Itwasawful:whyshewouldratherhavethreeconfinementsthangothroughthewearandtearofmarryingasingledaughter。 Neverthelessithadgottobedone,andpoorMrsAllabyneverlookedatayoungmanwithoutaneyetohisbeingafutureson-in-law。 Papasandmammassometimesaskyoungmenwhethertheirintentionsarehonourabletowardstheirdaughters。Ithinkyoungmenmightoccasionallyaskpapasandmammaswhethertheirintentionsarehonourablebeforetheyacceptinvitationstohouseswheretherearestillunmarrieddaughters。 “Ican’taffordacurate,mydear。”saidMrAllabytohiswifewhenthepairwerediscussingwhatwasnexttobedone。“ItwillbebettertogetsomeyoungmantocomeandhelpmeforatimeuponaSunday。AguineaaSundaywilldothis,andwecanchopandchangetillwegetsomeonewhosuits。”SoitwassettledthatMrAllaby’shealthwasnotsostrongasithadbeen,andthathestoodinneedofhelpintheperformanceofhisSundayduty。 MrsAllabyhadagreatfriend——acertainMrsCowey,wifeofthecelebratedProfessorCowey。Shewaswhatwascalledatrulyspirituallymindedwoman,atrifleportly,withanincipientbeard,andanextensiveconnectionamongundergraduates,moreespeciallyamongthosewhowereinclinedtotakepartinthegreatevangelicalmovementwhichwasthenatitsheight。Shegaveeveningpartiesonceafortnightatwhichprayerwaspartoftheentertainment。Shewasnotonlyspirituallyminded,but,asenthusiasticMrsAllabyusedtoexclaim,shewasathoroughwomanoftheworldatthesametimeandhadsuchafundofstrongmasculinegoodsense。Shetoohaddaughters,but,assheusedtosaytoMrsAllaby,shehadbeenlessfortunatethanMrsAllabyherself,foronebyonetheyhadmarriedandlefthersothatheroldagewouldhavebeendesolateindeedifherProfessorhadnotbeensparedtoher。 MrsCowey,ofcourse,knewtherunofallthebachelorclergyintheUniversity,andwastheverypersontoassistMrsAllabyinfindinganeligibleassistantforherhusband,sothislastnamedladydroveoveronemorningintheNovemberof1825,byarrangement,totakeanearlydinnerwithMrsCoweyandspendtheafternoon。Afterdinnerthetwoladiesretiredtogether,andthebusinessofthedaybegan。 Howtheyfenced,howtheysawthroughoneanother,withwhatloyaltytheypretendednottoseethroughoneanother,withwhatgentledalliancetheyprolongedtheconversationdiscussingthespiritualfitnessofthisorthatdeacon,andtheotherprosandconsconnectedwithhimafterhisspiritualfitnesshadbeendisposedof,allthismustbelefttotheimaginationofthereader。MrsCoweyhadbeensoaccustomedtoschemingonherownaccountthatshewouldschemeforanyoneratherthannotschemeatall。Manymothersturnedtoherintheirhourofneedand,providedtheywerespirituallyminded,MrsCoweyneverfailedtodoherbestforthem; ifthemarriageofayoungBachelorofArtswasnotmadeinHeaven,itwasprobablymade,oratanyrateattempted,inMrsCowey’sdrawing-room。OnthepresentoccasionallthedeaconsoftheUniversityinwhomtherelurkedanysparkofpromisewereexhaustivelydiscussed,andtheupshotwasthatourfriendTheobaldwasdeclaredbyMrsCoweytobeaboutthebestthingshecoulddothatafternoon。 “Idon’tknowthathe’saparticularlyfascinatingyoungman,mydear。”saidMrsCowey,“andhe’sonlyasecondson,butthenhe’sgothisfellowship,andeventhesecondsonofsuchamanasMrPontifexthepublishershouldhavesomethingverycomfortable。” “Whyyes,mydear。”rejoinedMrsAllabycomplacently,“that’swhatoneratherfeels。” Theinterview,likeallothergoodthingshadtocometoanend;thedayswereshort,andMrsAllabyhadasixmiles’drivetoCrampsford。Whenshewasmuffledupandhadtakenherseat,MrAllaby’sfactotum,James,couldperceivenochangeinherappearance,andlittleknewwhataseriesofdelightfulvisionshewasdrivinghomealongwithhismistress。 ProfessorCoweyhadpublishedworksthroughTheobald’sfather,andTheobaldhadonthisaccountbeentakenintowbyMrsCoweyfromthebeginningofhisUniversitycareer。Shehadhadhereyeuponhimforsometimepast,andalmostasmuchfeltitherdutytogethimoffherlistofyoungmenforwhomwiveshadtobeprovided,aspoorMrsAllabydidtotryandgetahusbandforoneofherdaughters。 Shenowwroteandaskedhimtocomeandseeher,intermsthatawakenedhiscuriosity。WhenhecameshebroachedthesubjectofMrAllaby’sfailinghealth,andafterthesmoothingawayofsuchdifficultiesaswereonlyMrsCowey’sdue,consideringtheinterestshehadtaken,itwasallowedtocometopassthatTheobaldshouldgotoCrampsfordforsixsuccessiveSundaysandtakethehalfofMrAllaby’sdutyathalfaguineaaSunday,forMrsCoweycutdowntheusualstipendmercilessly,andTheobaldwasnotstrongenoughtoresist。 Ignorantoftheplotswhichwerebeingpreparedforhispeaceofmindandwithnoideabeyondthatofearninghisthreeguineas,andperhapsofastonishingtheinhabitantsofCrampsfordbyhisacademiclearning,TheobaldwalkedovertotheRectoryoneSundaymorningearlyinDecember——afewweeksonlyafterhehadbeenordained。Hehadtakenagreatdealofpainswithhissermon,whichwasonthesubjectofgeology——thencomingtotheforeasatheologicalbugbear。Heshowedthatsofarasgeologywasworthanythingatall——andhewastooliberalentirelytopooh-poohit——itconfirmedtheabsolutelyhistoricalcharacteroftheMosaicaccountoftheCreationasgiveninGenesis。Anyphenomenawhichatfirstsightappearedtomakeagainstthisviewwereonlypartialphenomenaandbrokedownuponinvestigation。Nothingcouldbeinmoreexcellenttaste,andwhenTheobaldadjournedtotherectory,wherehewastodinebetweentheservices,MrAllabycomplimentedhimwarmlyuponhisdebut,whiletheladiesofthefamilycouldhardlyfindwordswithwhichtoexpresstheiradmiration。 Theobaldknewnothingaboutwomen。Theonlywomenhehadbeenthrownincontactwithwerehissisters,twoofwhomwerealwayscorrectinghim,andafewschoolfriendswhomthesehadgottheirfathertoasktoElmhurst。TheseyoungladieshadeitherbeensoshythattheyandTheobaldhadneveramalgamated,ortheyhadbeensupposedtobecleverandhadsaidsmartthingstohim。Hedidnotsaysmartthingshimselfanddidnotwantotherpeopletosaythem。 Besides,theytalkedaboutmusic——andhehatedmusic——orpictures—— andhehatedpictures——orbooks——andexcepttheclassicshehatedbooks。Andthensometimeshewaswantedtodancewiththem,andhedidnotknowhowtodance,anddidnotwanttoknow。 AtMrsCowey’spartiesagainhehadseensomeyoungladiesandhadbeenintroducedtothem。Hehadtriedtomakehimselfagreeable,butwasalwaysleftwiththeimpressionthathehadnotbeensuccessful。TheyoungladiesofMrsCowey’ssetwerebynomeansthemostattractivethatmighthavebeenfoundintheUniversity,andTheobaldmaybeexcusedfornotlosinghishearttothegreaternumberofthem,whileifforaminuteortwohewasthrowninwithoneoftheprettierandmoreagreeablegirlshewasalmostimmediatelycutoutbysomeonelessbashfulthanhimself,andsneakedoff,feelingasfarasthefairsexwasconcerned,liketheimpotentmanatthepoolofBethesda。