第10章

类别:其他 作者:Samuel Butler字数:5016更新时间:18/12/21 17:25:17
ThiswastheaverageattitudeoffairlyeducatedyoungmenandwomentowardstheMosaiccosmogonyfifty,forty,oreventwentyyearsago。 Thecombatingofinfidelity,therefore,offeredlittlescopeforenterprisingyoungclergymen,norhadtheChurchawakenedtotheactivitywhichshehassincedisplayedamongthepoorinourlargetowns。Thesewerethenleftalmostwithoutaneffortatresistanceorco-operationtothelaboursofthosewhohadsucceededWesley。 Missionaryworkindeedinheathencountrieswasbeingcarriedonwithsomeenergy,butTheobalddidnotfeelanycalltobeamissionary。Christinasuggestedthistohimmorethanonce,andassuredhimoftheunspeakablehappinessitwouldbetohertobethewifeofamissionary,andtosharehisdangers;sheandTheobaldmightevenbemartyred;ofcoursetheywouldbemartyredsimultaneously,andmartyrdommanyyearshenceasregardedfromthearbourintheRectorygardenwasnotpainful,itwouldensurethemagloriousfutureinthenextworld,andatanyrateposthumousrenowninthis——eveniftheywerenotmiraculouslyrestoredtolifeagain—— andsuchthingshadhappenederenowinthecaseofmartyrs。 Theobald,however,hadnotbeenkindledbyChristina’senthusiasm,soshefellbackupontheChurchofRome——anenemymoredangerous,ifpossible,thanpaganismitself。AcombatwithRomanismmightevenyetwinforherandTheobaldthecrownofmartyrdom。True,theChurchofRomewastolerablyquietjustthen,butitwasthecalmbeforethestorm,ofthisshewasassured,withaconvictiondeeperthanshecouldhaveattainedbyanyargumentfoundeduponmerereason。 “We,dearestTheobald。”sheexclaimed,“willbeeverfaithful。Wewillstandfirmandsupportoneanothereveninthehourofdeathitself。Godinhismercymayspareusfrombeingburntalive。Hemayormaynotdoso。OhLord“(andsheturnedhereyesprayerfullytoHeaven),“sparemyTheobald,orgrantthathemaybebeheaded。” “Mydearest。”saidTheobaldgravely,“donotletusagitateourselvesunduly。Ifthehouroftrialcomesweshallbebestpreparedtomeetitbyhavingledaquietunobtrusivelifeofself- denialanddevotiontoGod’sglory。SuchalifeletusprayGodthatitmaypleaseHimtoenableustopraythatwemaylead。” “DearestTheobald。”exclaimedChristina,dryingthetearsthathadgatheredinhereyes,“youarealways,alwaysright。Letusbeself-denying,pure,upright,truthfulinwordanddeed。”SheclaspedherhandsandlookeduptoHeavenasshespoke。 “Dearest。”rejoinedherlover,“wehaveeverhithertoendeavouredtobeallofthesethings;wehavenotbeenworldlypeople;letuswatchandpraythatwemaysocontinuetotheend。” Themoonhadrisenandthearbourwasgettingdamp,sotheyadjournedfurtheraspirationsforamoreconvenientseason。AtothertimesChristinapicturedherselfandTheobaldasbravingthescornofalmosteveryhumanbeingintheachievementofsomemightytaskwhichshouldredoundtothehonourofherRedeemer。Shecouldfaceanythingforthis。ButalwaystowardstheendofhervisiontherecamealittlecoronationscenehighupinthegoldenregionsoftheHeavens,andadiademwassetuponherheadbytheSonofManHimself,amidahostofangelsandarchangelswholookedonwithenvyandadmiration——andhereevenTheobaldhimselfwasoutofit。 IftherecouldbesuchathingastheMammonofRighteousnessChristinawouldhaveassuredlymadefriendswithit。HerpapaandmammawereveryestimablepeopleandwouldinthecourseoftimereceiveHeavenlyMansionsinwhichtheywouldbeexceedinglycomfortable;sodoubtlesswouldhersisters;soperhaps,evenmightherbrothers;butforherselfshefeltthatahigherdestinywaspreparing,whichitwasherdutynevertolosesightof。ThefirststeptowardsitwouldbehermarriagewithTheobald。Inspite,however,oftheseflightsofreligiousromanticism,Christinawasagood-temperedkindly-naturedgirlenough,who,ifshehadmarriedasensiblelayman——wewillsayahotel-keeper——wouldhavedevelopedintoagoodlandladyandbeendeservedlypopularwithherguests。 SuchwasTheobald’sengagedlife。Manyalittlepresentpassedbetweenthepair,andmanyasmallsurprisedidtheypreparepleasantlyforoneanother。Theyneverquarrelled,andneitherofthemeverflirtedwithanyoneelse。MrsAllabyandhisfuturesisters-in-lawidolisedTheobaldinspiteofitsbeingimpossibletogetanotherdeacontocomeandbeplayedforaslongasTheobaldwasabletohelpMrAllaby,whichnowofcoursehedidfreegratisandfornothing;twoofthesisters,however,didmanagetofindhusbandsbeforeChristinawasactuallymarried,andoneachoccasionTheobaldplayedthepartofdecoyelephant。Intheendonlytwooutofthesevendaughtersremainedsingle。 Afterthreeorfouryears,oldMrPontifexbecameaccustomedtohisson’sengagementandlookeduponitasamongthethingswhichhadnowaprescriptiverighttotoleration。Inthespringof1831,morethanfiveyearsafterTheobaldhadfirstwalkedovertoCrampsford,oneofthebestlivingsinthegiftoftheCollegeunexpectedlyfellvacant,andwasforvariousreasonsdeclinedbythetwofellowsseniortoTheobald,whomighteachhavebeenexpectedtotakeit。 ThelivingwasthenofferedtoandofcourseacceptedbyTheobald,beinginvaluenotlessthan500poundsayearwithasuitablehouseandgarden。OldMrPontifexthencamedownmorehandsomelythanwasexpectedandsettled10,000poundsonhissonanddaughter-in-lawforlifewithremaindertosuchoftheirissueastheymightappoint。InthemonthofJuly,1831TheobaldandChristinabecamemanandwife。 AduenumberofoldshoeshadbeenthrownatthecarriageinwhichthehappypairdepartedfromtheRectory,andithadturnedthecorneratthebottomofthevillage。Itcouldthenbeseenfortwoorthreehundredyardscreepingpastafircoppice,andafterthiswaslosttoview。 “John。”saidMrAllabytohisman-servant,“shutthegate;“andhewentindoorswithasighofreliefwhichseemedtosay:“Ihavedoneit,andIamalive。”Thiswasthereactionafteraburstofenthusiasticmerrimentduringwhichtheoldgentlemanhadruntwentyyardsafterthecarriagetoflingaslipperatit——whichhehaddulyflung。 ButwhatwerethefeelingsofTheobaldandChristinawhenthevillagewaspassedandtheywererollingquietlybythefirplantation?Itisatthispointthateventhestoutestheartmustfail,unlessitbeatinthebreastofonewhoisoverheadandearsinlove。Ifayoungmanisinasmallboatonachoppysea,alongwithhisaffiancedbrideandbotharesea-sick,andifthesickswaincanforgethisownanguishinthehappinessofholdingthefairone’sheadwhensheisatherworst——thenheisinlove,andhisheartwillbeinnodangeroffailinghimashepasseshisfirplantation。Otherpeople,andunfortunatelybyfarthegreaternumberofthosewhogetmarriedmustbeclassedamongthe“otherpeople。”willinevitablygothroughaquarterorhalfanhourofgreaterorlessbadnessasthecasemaybe。Takingnumbersintoaccount,IshouldthinkmorementalsufferinghadbeenundergoneinthestreetsleadingfromStGeorge’s,HanoverSquare,thaninthecondemnedcellsofNewgate。ThereisnotimeatwhichwhattheItalianscalllafigliadellaMortelayshercoldhanduponamanmoreawfullythanduringthefirsthalfhourthatheisalonewithawomanwhomhehasmarriedbutnevergenuinelyloved。 Death’sdaughterdidnotspareTheobald。Hehadbehavedverywellhitherto。WhenChristinahadofferedtolethimgo,hehadstucktohispostwithamagnanimityonwhichhehadplumedhimselfeversince。Fromthattimeforwardhehadsaidtohimself:“I,atanyrate,amtheverysoulofhonour;Iamnot。”etc。,etc。True,atthemomentofmagnanimitytheactualcashpayment,sotospeak,wasstilldistant;whenhisfathergaveformalconsenttohismarriagethingsbegantolookmoreserious;whenthecollegelivinghadfallenvacantandbeenacceptedtheylookedmoreseriousstill;butwhenChristinaactuallynamedtheday,thenTheobald’sheartfaintedwithinhim。 Theengagementhadgoneonsolongthathehadgotintoagroove,andtheprospectofchangewasdisconcerting。Christinaandhehadgoton,hethoughttohimself,verynicelyforagreatnumberofyears;why——why——whyshouldtheynotcontinuetogoonastheyweredoingnowfortherestoftheirlives?Buttherewasnomorechanceofescapeforhimthanforthesheepwhichisbeingdriventothebutcher’sbackpremises,andlikethesheephefeltthattherewasnothingtobegainedbyresistance,sohemadenone。Hebehaved,infact,withdecency,andwasdeclaredonallhandstobeoneofthehappiestmenimaginable。 Now,however,tochangethemetaphor,thedrophadactuallyfallen,andthepoorwretchwashanginginmidairalongwiththecreatureofhisaffections。Thiscreaturewasnowthirty-threeyearsold,andlookedit:shehadbeenweeping,andhereyesandnosewerereddish;if“IhavedoneitandIamalive。”waswrittenonMrAllaby’sfaceafterhehadthrowntheshoe,“Ihavedoneit,andI donotseehowIcanpossiblylivemuchlonger“wasuponthefaceofTheobaldashewasbeingdrivenalongbythefirPlantation。This,however,wasnotapparentattheRectory。Allthatcouldbeseentherewasthebobbingupanddownofthepostilion’shead,whichjustover-toppedthehedgebytheroad-sideasheroseinhisstirrups,andtheblackandyellowbodyofthecarriage。 Forsometimethepairsaidnothing:whattheymusthavefeltduringtheirfirsthalfhour,thereadermustguess,foritisbeyondmypowertotellhim;attheendofthattime,however,TheobaldhadrummagedupaconclusionfromsomeoddcornerofhissoultotheeffectthatnowheandChristinaweremarriedthesoonertheyfellintotheirfuturemutualrelationsthebetter。Ifpeoplewhoareinadifficultywillonlydothefirstlittlereasonablethingwhichtheycanclearlyrecogniseasreasonable,theywillalwaysfindthenextstepmoreeasybothtoseeandtake。What,then,thoughtTheobald,washereatthismomentthefirstandmostobviousmattertobeconsidered,andwhatwouldbeanequitableviewofhisandChristina’srelativepositionsinrespecttoit?Clearlytheirfirstdinnerwastheirfirstjointentryintothedutiesandpleasuresofmarriedlife。NolessclearlyitwasChristina’sdutytoorderit,andhisowntoeatitandpayforit。 Theargumentsleadingtothisconclusion,andtheconclusionitself,flasheduponTheobaldaboutthreeandahalfmilesafterhehadleftCrampsfordontheroadtoNewmarket。Hehadbreakfastedearly,buthisusualappetitehadfailedhim。Theyhadleftthevicarageatnoonwithoutstayingfortheweddingbreakfast。Theobaldlikedanearlydinner;itdawneduponhimthathewasbeginningtobehungry; fromthistotheconclusionstatedintheprecedingparagraphthestepshadbeeneasy。Afterafewminutes’furtherreflectionhebroachedthemattertohisbride,andthustheicewasbroken。 MrsTheobaldwasnotpreparedforsosuddenanassumptionofimportance。Hernerves,neverofthestrongest,hadbeenstrungtotheirhighesttensionbytheeventofthemorning。Shewantedtoescapeobservation;shewasconsciousoflookingalittleolderthanshequitelikedtolookasabridewhohadbeenmarriedthatmorning;shefearedthelandlady,thechamber-maid,thewaiter—— everybodyandeverything;herheartbeatsofastthatshecouldhardlyspeak,muchlessgothroughtheordealoforderingdinnerinastrangehotelwithastrangelandlady。Shebeggedandprayedtobeletoff。IfTheobaldwouldonlyorderdinnerthisonce,shewouldorderitanydayandeverydayinfuture。