Gelstraphadoftenponderedoverthisbottle。IthadbeenplacedtherebyMrPontifexhimselfaboutadozenyearspreviously，onhisreturnfromavisittohisfriendthecelebratedtravellerDrJones——
buttherewasnotabletabovethebinwhichmightgiveacluetothenatureofitscontents。Onmorethanoneoccasionwhenhismasterhadgoneoutandlefthiskeysaccidentallybehindhim，ashesometimesdid，Gelstraphadsubmittedthebottletoallthetestshecouldventureupon，butitwassocarefullysealedthatwisdomremainedquiteshutoutfromthatentranceatwhichhewouldhavewelcomedhermostgladly——andindeedfromallotherentrances，forhecouldmakeoutnothingatall。
Andnowthemysterywastobesolved。Butalas！itseemedasthoughthelastchanceofsecuringevenasipofthecontentswastoberemovedforever，forMrPontifextookthebottleintohisownhandsandheldituptothelightaftercarefullyexaminingtheseal。Hesmiledandleftthebinwiththebottleinhishands。
Thencameacatastrophe。Hestumbledoveranemptyhamper；therewasthesoundofafall——asmashofbrokenglass，andinaninstantthecellarfloorwascoveredwiththeliquidthathadbeenpreservedsocarefullyforsomanyyears。
WithhisusualpresenceofmindMrPontifexgaspedoutamonth’swarningtoGelstrap。Thenhegotup，andstampedasTheobaldhaddonewhenChristinahadwantednottoorderhisdinner。
“It’swaterfromtheJordan。”heexclaimedfuriously，“whichIhavebeensavingforthebaptismofmyeldestgrandson。Damnyou，Gelstrap，howdareyoubesoinfernallycarelessastoleavethathamperlitteringaboutthecellar？”
Iwonderthewaterofthesacredstreamdidnotstanduprightasanheapuponthecellarfloorandrebukehim。Gelstraptoldtheotherservantsafterwardsthathismaster’slanguagehadmadehisbackbonecurdle。
Themoment，however，thatheheardtheword“water。”hesawhiswayagain，andflewtothepantry。Beforehismasterhadwellnotedhisabsencehereturnedwithalittlespongeandabasin，andhadbegunsoppingupthewatersoftheJordanasthoughtheyhadbeenacommonslop。
“I’llfilterit，Sir。”saidGelstrapmeekly。“It’llcomequiteclean。”
MrPontifexsawhopeinthissuggestion，whichwasshortlycarriedoutbythehelpofapieceofblottingpaperandafunnel，underhisowneyes。Eventuallyitwasfoundthathalfapintwassaved，andthiswasheldtobesufficient。
ThenhemadepreparationsforavisittoBattersby。Heorderedgoodlyhampersofthechoicesteatables，heselectedagoodlyhamperofchoicedrinkables。Isaychoiceandnotchoicest，foralthoughinhisfirstexaltationhehadselectedsomeofhisverybestwine，yetonreflectionhehadfeltthattherewasmoderationinallthings，andashewaspartingwithhisbestwaterfromtheJordan，hewouldonlysendsomeofhissecondbestwine。
BeforehewenttoBattersbyhestayedadayortwoinLondon，whichhenowseldomdid，beingoverseventyyearsold，andhavingpracticallyretiredfrombusiness。TheJohnPontifexes，whokeptasharpeyeonhim，discoveredtotheirdismaythathehadhadaninterviewwithhissolicitors。
ForthefirsttimeinhislifeTheobaldfeltthathehaddonesomethingright，andcouldlookforwardtomeetinghisfatherwithoutalarm。Theoldgentleman，indeed，hadwrittenhimamostcordialletter，announcinghisintentionofstandinggodfathertotheboy——nay，Imayaswellgiveitinfull，asitshowsthewriterathisbest。Itruns：
“DearTheobald，——Yourlettergavemeverysincerepleasure，themoresobecauseIhadmadeupmymindfortheworst；prayacceptmymostheartycongratulationsformydaughter-in-lawandforyourself。
“IhavelongpreservedaphialofwaterfromtheJordanforthechristeningofmyfirstgrandson，shoulditpleaseGodtograntmeone。ItwasgivenmebymyoldfriendDrJones。Youwillagreewithmethatthoughtheefficacyofthesacramentdoesnotdependuponthesourceofthebaptismalwaters，yet，ceterisparibus，thereisasentimentattachingtothewatersoftheJordanwhichshouldnotbedespised。Smallmatterslikethissometimesinfluenceachild’swholefuturecareer。
“Ishallbringmyowncook，andhavetoldhimtogeteverythingreadyforthechristeningdinner。Askasmanyofyourbestneighboursasyourtablewillhold。Bytheway，IhavetoldLesueurNOTTOGETALOBSTER——youhadbetterdriveoveryourselfandgetonefromSaltness(forBattersbywasonlyfourteenorfifteenmilesfromtheseacoast)；theyarebetterthere，atleastIthinkso，thananywhereelseinEngland。
“Ihaveputyourboydownforsomethingintheeventofhisattainingtheageoftwenty-oneyears。IfyourbrotherJohncontinuestohavenothingbutgirlsImaydomorelateron，butI
havemanyclaimsuponme，andamnotaswelloffasyoumayimagine——Youraffectionatefather，“G。PONTIFEX。”
AfewdaysafterwardsthewriteroftheabovelettermadehisappearanceinaflywhichhadbroughthimfromGildenhamtoBattersby，adistanceoffourteenmiles。TherewasLesueur，thecook，ontheboxwiththedriver，andasmanyhampersastheflycouldcarryweredisposedupontheroofandelsewhere。NextdaytheJohnPontifexeshadtocome，andElizaandMaria，aswellasAlethea，who，byherownspecialrequest，wasgodmothertotheboy，forMrPontifexhaddecidedthattheyweretoformahappyfamilyparty；socometheyallmust，andbehappytheyallmust，oritwouldbetheworseforthem。Nextdaytheauthorofallthishubbubwasactuallychristened。TheobaldhadproposedtocallhimGeorgeafteroldMrPontifex，butstrangetosay，MrPontifexover-ruledhiminfavourofthenameErnest。Theword“earnest“wasjustbeginningtocomeintofashion，andhethoughtthepossessionofsuchanamemight，likehishavingbeenbaptisedinwaterfromtheJordan，haveapermanenteffectupontheboy’scharacter，andinfluencehimforgoodduringthemorecriticalperiodsofhislife。
Iwasaskedtobehissecondgodfather，andwasrejoicedtohaveanopportunityofmeetingAlethea，whomIhadnotseenforsomefewyears，butwithwhomIhadbeeninconstantcorrespondence。SheandIhadalwaysbeenfriendsfromthetimewehadplayedtogetheraschildrenonwards。WhenthedeathofhergrandfatherandgrandmotherseveredherconnectionwithPalehammyintimacywiththePontifexeswaskeptupbymyhavingbeenatschoolandcollegewithTheobald，andeachtimeIsawherIadmiredhermoreandmoreasthebest，kindest，wittiest，mostlovable，and，tomymind，handsomestwomanwhomIhadeverseen。NoneofthePontifexesweredeficientingoodlooks；theywereawell-grownshapelyfamilyenough，butAletheawasthefloweroftheflockevenasregardsgoodlooks，whileinrespectofallotherqualitiesthatmakeawomanlovable，itseemedasthoughthestockthathadbeenintendedforthethreedaughters，andwouldhavebeenaboutsufficientforthem，hadallbeenallottedtoherself，hersistersgettingnone，andsheall。
ItisimpossibleformetoexplainhowitwasthatsheandInevermarried。Wetwoknewexceedinglywell，andthatmustsufficeforthereader。Therewasthemostperfectsympathyandunderstandingbetweenus；weknewthatneitherofuswouldmarryanyoneelse。I
hadaskedhertomarrymeadozentimesover；havingsaidthismuchIwillsaynomoreuponapointwhichisinnowaynecessaryforthedevelopmentofmystory。Forthelastfewyearstherehadbeendifficultiesinthewayofourmeeting，andIhadnotseenher，though，asIhavesaid，keepingupaclosecorrespondencewithher。
NaturallyIwasoverjoyedtomeetheragain；shewasnowjustthirtyyearsold，butIthoughtshelookedhandsomerthanever。
Herfather，ofcourse，wasthelionoftheparty，butseeingthatwewereallmeekandquitewillingtobeeaten，heroaredtousratherthanatus。Itwasafinesighttoseehimtuckinghisnapkinunderhisrosyoldgills，andlettingitfalloverhiscapaciouswaistcoatwhilethehighlightfromthechandelierdancedaboutthebumpofbenevolenceonhisbaldoldheadlikeastarofBethlehem。
Thesoupwasrealturtle；theoldgentlemanwasevidentlywellpleasedandhewasbeginningtocomeout。Gelstrapstoodbehindhismaster’schair。IsatnextMrsTheobaldonherlefthand，andwasthusjustoppositeherfather-in-law，whomIhadeveryopportunityofobserving。
Duringthefirsttenminutesorso，whichweretakenupwiththesoupandthebringinginofthefish，Ishouldprobablyhavethought，ifIhadnotlongsincemadeupmymindabouthim，whatafineoldmanhewasandhowproudhischildrenshouldbeofhim；butsuddenlyashewashelpinghimselftolobstersauce，heflushedcrimson，alookofextremevexationsuffusedhisface，andhedartedtwofurtivebutfieryglancestothetwoendsofthetable，oneforTheobaldandoneforChristina。They，poorsimplesouls，ofcoursesawthatsomethingwasexceedinglywrong，andsodidI，butI
couldn’tguesswhatitwastillIheardtheoldmanhissinChristina’sear：“Itwasnotmadewithahenlobster。What’stheuse。”hecontinued，“ofmycallingtheboyErnest，andgettinghimchristenedinwaterfromtheJordan，ifhisownfatherdoesnotknowacockfromahenlobster？”
Thiscutmetoo，forIfeltthattillthatmomentIhadnotsomuchasknownthattherewerecocksandhensamonglobsters，buthadvaguelythoughtthatinthematterofmatrimonytheywereevenastheangelsinheaven，andgrewupalmostspontaneouslyfromrocksandsea-weed。
BeforethenextcoursewasoverMrPontifexhadrecoveredhistemper，andfromthattimetotheendoftheeveninghewasathisbest。HetoldusallaboutthewaterfromtheJordan；howithadbeenbroughtbyDrJonesalongwithsomestonejarsofwaterfromtheRhine，theRhone，theElbeandtheDanube，andwhattroublehehadhadwiththemattheCustomHouses，andhowtheintentionhadbeentomakepunchwithwatersfromallthegreatestriversinEurope；andhowhe，MrPontifex，hadsavedtheJordanwaterfromgoingintothebowl，etc。，etc。“No，no，no。”hecontinued，“itwouldn’thavedoneatall，youknow；veryprofaneidea；soweeachtookapintbottleofithomewithus，andthepunchwasmuchbetterwithoutit。Ihadanarrowescapewithmine，though，theotherday；
Ifelloverahamperinthecellar，whenIwasgettingituptobringtoBattersby，andifIhadnottakenthegreatestcarethebottlewouldcertainlyhavebeenbroken，butIsavedit。”AndGelstrapwasstandingbehindhischairallthetime！
NothingmorehappenedtoruffleMrPontifex，sowehadadelightfulevening，whichhasoftenrecurredtomewhilewatchingtheaftercareerofmygodson。
