Theroominfactwasasdepressingfromitsslatternlinessasfromitsatmosphereoferudition。TheobaldandErnestastheyenteredit，stumbledoveralargeholeintheTurkeycarpet，andthedustthatroseshowedhowlongitwassinceithadbeentakenupandbeaten。This，Ishouldsay，wasnofaultofMrsSkinner’sbutwasduetotheDoctorhimself，whodeclaredthatifhispaperswereoncedisturbeditwouldbethedeathofhim。Nearthewindowwasagreencagecontainingapairofturtledoves，whoseplaintivecooingaddedtothemelancholyoftheplace。Thewallswerecoveredwithbookshelvesfromfloortoceiling，andoneveryshelfthebooksstoodindoublerows。Itwashorrible。Prominentamongthemostprominentuponthemostprominentshelfwereaseriesofsplendidlyboundvolumesentitled“Skinner’sWorks。”
Boysaresadlyapttorushtoconclusions，andErnestbelievedthatDrSkinnerknewallthebooksinthisterriblelibrary，andthathe，ifheweretobeanygood，shouldhavetolearnthemtoo。Hisheartfaintedwithinhim。
Hewastoldtositonachairagainstthewallanddidso，whileDrSkinnertalkedtoTheobalduponthetopicsoftheday。HetalkedabouttheHampdenControversythenraging，anddiscoursedlearnedlyabout“Praemunire“；thenhetalkedabouttherevolutionwhichhadjustbrokenoutinSicily，andrejoicedthatthePopehadrefusedtoallowforeigntroopstopassthroughhisdominionsinordertocrushit。DrSkinnerandtheothermasterstookintheTimesamongthem，andDrSkinnerechoedtheTimes’leaders。InthosedaystherewerenopennypapersandTheobaldonlytookintheSpectator——forhewasatthattimeontheWhigsideinpolitics；besidesthisheusedtoreceivetheEcclesiasticalGazetteonceamonth，buthesawnootherpapers，andwasamazedattheeaseandfluencywithwhichDrSkinnerranfromsubjecttosubject。
ThePope’sactioninthematteroftheSicilianrevolutionnaturallyledtheDoctortothereformswhichhisHolinesshadintroducedintohisdominions，andhelaughedconsumedlyoverthejokewhichhadnotlongsinceappearedinPunch，totheeffectthatPio“No，No。”
shouldratherhavebeennamedPio“Yes，Yes。”because，asthedoctorexplained，hegrantedeverythinghissubjectsaskedfor。AnythinglikeapunwentstraighttoDrSkinner’sheart。
Thenhewentontothematterofthesereformsthemselves。TheyopenedupanewerainthehistoryofChristendom，andwouldhavesuchmomentousandfar-reachingconsequences，thattheymightevenleadtoareconciliationbetweentheChurchesofEnglandandRome。
DrSkinnerhadlatelypublishedapamphletuponthissubject，whichhadshowngreatlearning，andhadattackedtheChurchofRomeinawaywhichdidnotpromisemuchhopeofreconciliation。HehadgroundedhisattackuponthelettersA。M。D。G。，whichhehadseenoutsideaRomanCatholicchapel，andwhichofcoursestoodforAdMariamDeiGenetricem。Couldanythingbemoreidolatrous？
Iamtold，bytheway，thatImusthaveletmymemoryplaymeoneofthetricksitoftendoesplayme，whenIsaidtheDoctorproposedAdMariamDeiGenetricemasthefullharmonies，sotospeak，whichshouldbeconstructeduponthebassA。M。D。G。，forthatthisisbadLatin，andthatthedoctorreallyharmonisedthelettersthus：AveMariaDeiGenetrix。NodoubtthedoctordidwhatwasrightinthematterofLatinity——IhaveforgottenthelittleLatinIeverknew，andamnotgoingtolookthematterup，butIbelievethedoctorsaidAdMariamDeiGenetricem，andifsowemaybesurethatAdMariamDeiGenetricem，isgoodenoughLatinatanyrateforecclesiasticalpurposes。
Thereplyofthelocalpriesthadnotyetappeared，andDrSkinnerwasjubilant，butwhentheanswerappeared，anditwassolemnlydeclaredthatA。M。D。G。stoodfornothingmoredangerousthanAdMajoremDeiGloriam，itwasfeltthatthoughthissubterfugewouldnotsucceedwithanyintelligentEnglishman，stillitwasapityDrSkinnerhadselectedthisparticularpointforhisattack，forhehadtoleavehisenemyinpossessionofthefield。Whenpeopleareleftinpossessionofthefield，spectatorshaveanawkwardhabitofthinkingthattheiradversarydoesnotdaretocometothescratch。
DrSkinnerwastellingTheobaldallabouthispamphlet，andIdoubtwhetherthisgentlemanwasmuchmorecomfortablethanErnesthimself。Hewasbored，forinhishearthehatedLiberalism，thoughhewasashamedtosayso，and，asIhavesaid，professedtobeontheWhigside。HedidnotwanttobereconciledtotheChurchofRome；hewantedtomakeallRomanCatholicsturnProtestants，andcouldneverunderstandwhytheywouldnotdoso；buttheDoctortalkedinsuchatrulyliberalspirit，andshuthimupsosharplywhenhetriedtoedgeinawordortwo，thathehadtolethimhaveitallhisownway，andthiswasnotwhathewasaccustomedto。Hewaswonderinghowhecouldbringittoanend，whenadiversionwascreatedbythediscoverythatErnesthadbeguntocry——doubtlessthroughanintensebutinarticulatesenseofaboredomgreaterthanhecouldbear。Hewasevidentlyinahighlynervousstate，andagooddealupsetbytheexcitementofthemorning，MrsSkinnertherefore，whocameinwithChristinaatthisjuncture，proposedthatheshouldspendtheafternoonwithMrsJay，thematron，andnotbeintroducedtohisyoungcompanionsuntilthefollowingmorning。
Hisfatherandmothernowbadehimanaffectionatefarewell，andtheladwashandedovertoMrsJay。
Oschoolmasters——ifanyofyoureadthisbook——bearinmindwhenanyparticularlytimiddrivellingurchinisbroughtbyhispapaintoyourstudy，andyoutreathimwiththecontemptwhichhedeserves，andafterwardsmakehislifeaburdentohimforyears——bearinmindthatitisexactlyinthedisguiseofsuchaboyasthisthatyourfuturechroniclerwillappear。Neverseeawretchedlittleheavy-
eyedmitesittingontheedgeofachairagainstyourstudywallwithoutsayingtoyourselves，“perhapsthisboyishewho，ifIamnotcareful，willonedaytelltheworldwhatmannerofmanIwas。”
Ifeventwoorthreeschoolmasterslearnthislessonandrememberit，theprecedingchapterswillnothavebeenwritteninvain。
SoonafterhisfatherandmotherhadlefthimErnestdroppedasleepoverabookwhichMrsJayhadgivenhim，andhedidnotawaketilldusk。Thenhesatdownonastoolinfrontofthefire，whichshowedpleasantlyinthelateJanuarytwilight，andbegantomuse。
Hefeltweak，feeble，illateaseandunabletoseehiswayoutoftheinnumerabletroublesthatwerebeforehim。Perhaps，hesaidtohimself，hemightevendie，butthis，farfrombeinganendofhistroubles，wouldprovethebeginningofnewones；foratthebesthewouldonlygotoGrandpapaPontifexandGrandmammaAllaby，andthoughtheywouldperhapsbemoreeasytogetonwiththanPapaandMamma，yettheywereundoubtedlynotsoreallygood，andweremoreworldly；moreovertheyweregrown-uppeople——especiallyGrandpapaPontifex，whosofarashecouldunderstandhadbeenverymuchgrown-up，andhedidnotknowwhy，buttherewasalwayssomethingthatkepthimfromlovinganygrown-uppeopleverymuch——exceptoneortwooftheservants，whohadindeedbeenasniceasanythingthathecouldimagine。BesidesevenifheweretodieandgotoHeavenhesupposedheshouldhavetocompletehiseducationsomewhere。
Inthemeantimehisfatherandmotherwererollingalongthemuddyroads，eachinhisorherowncornerofthecarriage，andeachrevolvingmanythingswhichwereandwerenottocometopass。
TimeshavechangedsinceIlastshowedthemtothereaderassittingtogethersilentlyinacarriage，butexceptasregardstheirmutualrelations，theyhavealteredsingularlylittle。WhenIwasyoungerIusedtothinkthePrayerBookwaswronginrequiringustosaytheGeneralConfessiontwiceaweekfromchildhoodtooldage，withoutmakingprovisionforournotbeingquitesuchgreatsinnersatseventyaswehadbeenatseven；grantedthatweshouldgotothewashliketable-clothsatleastonceaweek，stillIusedtothinkadayoughttocomewhenweshouldwantratherlessrubbingandscrubbingat。NowthatIhavegrownoldermyselfIhaveseenthattheChurchhasestimatedprobabilitiesbetterthanIhaddone。
Thepairsaidnotawordtooneanother，butwatchedthefadinglightandnakedtrees，thebrownfieldswithhereandthereamelancholycottagebytheroadside，andtherainthatfellfastuponthecarriagewindows。Itwasakindofafternoononwhichnicepeopleforthemostpartliketobesnugathome，andTheobaldwasalittlesnappishatreflectinghowmanymileshehadtopostbeforehecouldbeathisownfiresideagain。Howevertherewasnothingforit，sothepairsatquietlyandwatchedtheroadsideobjectsflitbythem，andgetgreyerandgrimmerasthelightfaded。
Thoughtheyspokenottooneanother，therewasonenearertoeachofthemwithwhomtheycouldconversefreely。“Ihope。”saidTheobaldtohimself，“Ihopehe’llwork——orelsethatSkinnerwillmakehim。Idon’tlikeSkinner，Ineverdidlikehim，butheisunquestionablyamanofgenius，andnooneturnsoutsomanypupilswhosucceedatOxfordandCambridge，andthatisthebesttest。I
havedonemysharetowardsstartinghimwell。Skinnersaidhehadbeenwellgroundedandwasveryforward。Isupposehewillpresumeuponitnowanddonothing，forhisnatureisanidleone。Heisnotfondofme，I’msureheisnot。HeoughttobeafterallthetroubleIhavetakenwithhim，butheisungratefulandselfish。Itisanunnaturalthingforaboynottobefondofhisownfather。
IfhewasfondofmeIshouldbefondofhim，butIcannotlikeasonwho，Iamsure，dislikesme。Heshrinksoutofmywaywheneverheseesmecomingnearhim。Hewillnotstayfiveminutesinthesameroomwithmeifhecanhelpit。Heisdeceitful。Hewouldnotwanttohidehimselfawaysomuchifhewerenotdeceitful。Thatisabadsignandonewhichmakesmefearhewillgrowupextravagant。
Iamsurehewillgrowupextravagant。Ishouldhavegivenhimmorepocket-moneyifIhadnotknownthis——butwhatisthegoodofgivinghimpocket-money？Itisallgonedirectly。Ifhedoesn’tbuysomethingwithithegivesitawaytothefirstlittleboyorgirlheseeswhotakeshisfancy。Heforgetsthatit’smymoneyheisgivingaway。Igivehimmoneythathemayhavemoneyandlearntoknowitsuses，notthathemaygoandsquanderitimmediately。I
wishhewasnotsofondofmusic，itwillinterferewithhisLatinandGreek。IwillstopitasmuchasIcan。Why，whenhewastranslatingLivytheotherdayheslippedoutHandel’snameinmistakeforHannibal’s，andhismothertellsmeheknowshalfthetunesinthe’Messiah’byheart。Whatshouldaboyofhisageknowaboutthe’Messiah’？IfIhadshownhalfasmanydangeroustendencieswhenIwasaboy，myfatherwouldhaveapprenticedmetoagreengrocer，ofthatI’mverysure。”etc。，etc。
ThenhisthoughtsturnedtoEgyptandthetenthplague。ItseemedtohimthatifthelittleEgyptianshadbeenanythinglikeErnest，theplaguemusthavebeensomethingverylikeablessingindisguise。IftheIsraelitesweretocometoEnglandnowheshouldbegreatlytemptednottoletthemgo。
MrsTheobald’sthoughtsraninadifferentcurrent。“LordLonsford’sgrandson——it’sapityhisnameisFiggins；however，bloodisbloodasmuchthroughthefemalelineasthemale，indeed，perhapsevenmoresoifthetruthwereknown。IwonderwhoMrFigginswas。IthinkMrsSkinnersaidhewasdead，however，Imustfindoutallabouthim。ItwouldbedelightfulifyoungFigginsweretoaskErnesthomefortheholidays。WhoknowsbuthemightmeetLordLonsfordhimself，oratanyratesomeofLordLonsford’sotherdescendants？”
